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Old 10-13-2010, 04:42 AM   #1261
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Very cool Ladies! Not really a big fruit person - and never was, lol!! but really good to know it can work without cravings when I do want some!!

Wednesday October 13, 2010

Just posted my journal post in the Century Club, here:

The Real Changes You Have To Make ..
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Old 10-13-2010, 09:48 AM   #1262
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OK .. posting it here. It is some reflection on reality versus living in denial, in a mental construct of excuses ... how it plays out in, and is part and parcel of our many many life choices:

The Real Changes You Have To Make ..

to change your life from the life of a morbidly obese person (defined by drs as 100+ lbs over normal bmi) to that person who is slimmer, more active, energetic and happy with life ... hit me the other day.

It is not just about the food or the exercise. It is not just about the plan you follow. It is about a complete change in your thinking ... going from a person who avoids life to one who jumps in.

The thought hit me on Monday afternoon - Columbus Day. We had just had a long day at a local harvest fair by the sea. As we were heading home my youngest started talking about how she was disappointed that both her usual Saturday game and the Monday afternoon soccer practice were off due to the holiday. Having her complain about not getting some physical activity is actually an amazing thing!! She was overweight and it took us a few years to normalize her eating and get her into an active lifestyle, and now to find the desire to be that active person coming from her ... well, it's awesome ...

So we get home to find an email .. the coach is holding a practice that day .. and it's in 15 minutes (and 15 minutes across town)!! I could have told her we got the email too late - I was tired and had made dh leave the fair so I could rest before I had to make dinner - Instead I yelled, "Get your cleats on!! Coach is going to have a practice!" (lol! I think Dh was shocked!!!) She screamed with happiness and went to get ready ..

Yesterday, while I was doing laundry, my little dd asked me if I would go for a hike when I finish .. and we did (we live in a State Forest and off of hundreds of acres of private conservation land too - lucky us!). While we were walking, she was making big plans for hiking the Appalachian Trail (she just learned about in school) or the Bay Circuit Trail which we live on ...

Back to soccer ... What a contrast with one of my daughter's friends .. When I opened that email and we were getting ready to go, I decided I owed to the other mum who carpools with me, to call and check to see if the other little girl would like rides from me as I was just going to stay for the practice. I kinda knew the other mother would sigh and whine, saying "I don't think we're going to go ..." as she decided not to send her dd last week either (due to the weather). She added, that she hadn't gotten the email (which I kinda doubt - as there were three emails, lol!) ... making me feel like I wasn't doing any kind of favor by calling them - I was making her feel guilty. I know. I used to be her.

The sad thing is that this little girl has been getting heavier in the last few years as my dd has slimmed down. The mother, herself, is overweight and is totally projecting her own feelings onto her little girl ... if you can come up with an excuse not to be active or not to eat junk food, use it! They are going to both end up "people who stay at home" and wonder why they are "the only ones" who gain weight ..

It struck me that I lived most of my life like that other little girl and her mother and only by changing my outlook have I been able to change my body. Changing my relationship to food has been about changing my relationship to the world around me .. no weather, fatigue, or any other excuse was going to stop me from doing the right thing for myself, my family, or friends. And this is not just about being physically active .. it is social activity too - any kind of thing you have been keeping yourself from doing, worrying that you'd be required or asked to do ...

When was the last time you jumped out the door instead of hiding?! It is a slow process. It takes time to change. But it is worth considering.
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Old 10-13-2010, 10:33 AM   #1263
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Excellent post lady!!!

I'm reading the Dr. Phil 7 Keys to Weightloss Success or something like that and he's saying similar things to this with regards to meeting goals! Very inspiring story hon!
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Old 10-13-2010, 12:41 PM   #1264
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Pauline, what an excellent post. I can totally relate to it. I was that mom before and now like you I have changed.
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Old 10-15-2010, 04:01 AM   #1265
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Thanks Ladies! I think if anyone wants to succeed at life and weightloss and happiness, they have to get real and stop making excuses for themselves .. stop equivocating. Maybe that's why ...

Friday October 15, 2010

I have been thinking more and more on this quote and how true it is, because the converse is true as well ...

It Is Hard To Soar Like An Eagle
When You Are Surrounded By Turkeys


If you surround yourself with the successful people, the wannabe eagles, who are not sitting around whining about how life is unfair, who choose to just accept that "you get what you get and you don't get upset" and simply take the actions necessary to deal with reality, you too will succeed.

My flock of eagles:

* The longtime members of the TOPS group I joined, specifically the 12 other Maintainers in my chapter. They have committed to going and getting weighed weekly for the rest of their life. They have committed to keeping their health, their weight, as a top priority, never resting on their laurels.

* The dedicated few fit people, I see in the gym, the field, or the track day after day, (one of whom is my husband) -- no matter what else might be happening in their life. The same people who go to restaurants and get salads, who would never dream of feeding McDonalds to their children - maybe they were never overweight or obese, maybe there is a reason ...

* Many of the folks on LCF who have the attitude of go-getters. This is what they want, so this is what they are going to do. No past life, no current problems, no medical issues are valid reasons to hide from what needs to be done ... Setbacks are setbacks and nothing more ... Success is something that you work on every minute of every day .. something you need to hold onto with a death grip ...

Those are my peeps.

I give to them and they give back to me. Together we succeed ....

Last edited by TaDa!; 10-15-2010 at 04:04 AM..
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Old 10-16-2010, 10:00 AM   #1266
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Saturday October 16, 2010

I am a hypocrite .. I would never work out with a trainer or coach or fitness instructor who was not, at least, in as good a shape as I am ... and preferably one who is in much better shape than I am. And yes, we are talking visually as well as performance-wise. Just not motivating.

Even worse, lol, I would not work out in a class or group in which I am **obviously** the most fit person. I have had a few people approach me to join this or that group exercise and I have, in my head, decided which groups would be acceptable -- and help me progress -- and which would not ...

I do not tell anyone this, of course!!! But I can come confess here ... I have become a fitness snob ...
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Old 10-17-2010, 06:53 AM   #1267
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Sunday October 17, 2010

I am feeling terrible yesterday and today - I think it is allergies, but I am not sure. and the cold weather hit and I was in the house freezing .. and Ugh, excuses excuses ... I binge ate yesterday. Back to normal today!!

I was very impressed with an article in the TOPS magazine this month by the official TOPS doctor, Nick Yphantides, and I looked high and low to see whether I could find a copy online to post or to link, but I could not ..

and so even though I am not 100% in agreement with his personal methods (as they might apply to everyone), I picked up his book My Big Fat Greek Diet to see how he managed to lose 270 pounds .. but specifically to hear him speak on weightloss and maintenance.

At 470+ lbs, He went on an 8 month odyssey ... resigning from work, bought a van and traveled the country for 8 months going to every single major league baseball stadium to see games ... and, medically supervised, drank 800 calories of protein shakes a day - no solid food - the entire time.

Drastic measures for drastic morbid obesity ... an alternative to drastic surgery. And I can totally see that as a great thing .. but not for the average person needing to lose weight.

There are so many interesting things in the book though! He advocates lowcarb for maintenance, lol!!! and specifically speaks on the glycemic index .. ironically, the approach I decided to take with my TOPS group to interest them in lowcarb, since Atkins is such a dirty word to the lowfat masses!!! If I'd only known I could have whipped out the book and shown them that TOPS own Dr. Nick advocates this .... I suppose I will at some point do that in another program!!

Another interesting point he makes over and over again, is that we have to change our entire outlook on life and on food - his odyssey, going off solid food, was able to break it for him personally. But, to succeed at this, Dr. Nick says, is not about the food .. is never about the food or the plan, it is about the change you make in your entire relationship to your body, food, and life ..

Ironically these are topics I have been pondering lately myself too ... Anyhow, I am not quite finished reading the book, but will post more I am sure!

In both the article and the book, Dr. Nick posts an excerpt from The Purpose Driven Life .. not being a Christian, I tend to balk at reading any thing Christianity-centric, but I have reserved a copy at the library. It sounds to me like a book with many universal truths, and probably worth a read ... If I can get through it, I will post my thoughts on it too and how it relates to this journey we are on ...
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Old 10-17-2010, 06:56 PM   #1268
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Pauline, I also was impressed with his article in the latest magazine. I thought it had a lot of good points. I will have to read his book, too. I wonder if our library has it.

We had our TOPS Fall Rally yesterday and it is always inspiring. They recognized my niece on stage as being an international winner. It is so good for her as she is special needs and needs this kind of attention.

Have a good week!
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Old 10-20-2010, 04:35 AM   #1269
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Dianne, I finished it and the book was not the greatest book out there - but for the TOPS angle, and the fact that this is a medical doctor who has held some top professional positions - before he lost his 270 lbs - I would not recommend it to most .. but it is worth a read to us, lol!

How awesome that your niece was recognized at Fall Rally!!!!!!! Fabulous!!!!! Congratulations to both of you!

Wednesday October 19, 2010

So yesterday was as tough a food day as the last few days. I just know it is because I am not feeling well, and I am feeling tired. I did make it through totally on plan though! And weirdly, 3 days later, I am only up a quarter pound from before my binge on Saturday night. I may have been due for a weightloss which would explain that ..

I was up from 3 am on this morning, feeling sick and so my job today is to make sure I get a nap in this afternoon .. no matter what, because if I don't, I know that excessive tiredness due to responsibilities is a time when I am vulnerable to binge-eating .. Just thinking about my schedule today, I am not sure when I will be able to manage that ..

Yesterday was the little play at TOPS where I played Dorothy, lol! It was very funny and I think well-received. I won $91, lol! at the goofy marble game and I could tell all the ladies were jealous, lol! I have to say that the thought of weighing in yesterday after binge-eating Saturday night was very stressful!! but somehow I "turtled" -- stayed the same weight as last week -- I think it was due to the change in clothing for the play ..

Anyhow, I sit at 130 today and that is my mental upper limit of weight .. I prefer to be 128-130, despite all the various weight allowances (as they are on my official scale):

My Atkins Weight Range: 128-133
My TOPS Weight Range: 125-135

I am going to take my own advice and not tinker with anything ... I will workout as usual and eat my usual menu for the moment ... Full morning snack on workout days, half morning snack on non-workout days ...

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Old 10-20-2010, 05:44 PM   #1270
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October 20 continued ..

I managed a nap. I managed a workout. I ate on plan today. I was a rockstar! The only thing .. I know I was not the nicest person to be around today ...

note for tomorrow: Be nicer!!

note for tonight: Sleep through the night

... so I don't have to come in here and have Mary (Poppins .. the nanny in my head) write notes to make me behave!
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Old 10-20-2010, 08:25 PM   #1271
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Old 10-22-2010, 05:28 AM   #1272
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I hope you are feeling much better. I noticed you hadn't posted much and decided to come check on your.
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Old 10-22-2010, 12:43 PM   #1273
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TaDa! View Post
October 20 continued ..

.. I know I was not the nicest person to be around today ...
HA! I doubt that! And by the way, to quote Mary Poppins, she referred to herself as “practically perfect in every way” just like you Pauline!

Anyway, hope you feel better soon.
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Old 10-23-2010, 04:52 AM   #1274
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Awww thanks Reva and Alex! I am touched .. <insert goofy grin> and Alex .. I am very impressed that you can quote my mentor, Mary Poppins!!!!

Friday October 22, 2010

I am still in crazy allergy mode, and haven't slept too much in the last week, lol! but am handling it much better now that I pulled old Poppins out and had a talk with self!

OK, and anyone reading can have a good laugh … yesterday morning as I switched over to a new bag of ground coffee .. I realized that I had been drinking decaf for about a week and a half … hahahahhaha … I was also going through some major caffeine withdrawal and didn’t know it … anyhow, a good talk with self and some strong cups of coffee and I am coming back to my senses .. Although the allergies are still hitting me hard! I think I came up with the right medicine combo .. Cromolyn nose spray, Claritin, a very occasional SF throat numbing cough drop when needed, and a good supply of tissues .. now if I can only remember this for the next allergy season!!!

New Behavior Pathways
And just in time, as the real life stress hit bigtime again .. mental stress, not "real" problems ... crap I just blow out of all proportion! I think some of my mental stress is coming from areas where I am fighting the me that was for 38 years .. a particular situation in which someone - who it really really pays me to be on good terms with - pulled some passive aggressive crap, and in the style of new me, I politely but firmly stepped around it, was direct, and refused to be "passively bullied" in that way ...

Idiot me, I did not sleep the whole night Thursday night between allergies and worrying that I had burned bridges with her and that it would bite me in the behind in future .. only to get an email yesterday morning from the woman saying that the issue we were at odds about is now an non-issue due to an unanticipated scheduling change of hers .. (so she, essentially, is the one who is ridiculous for the passive agressive crap) ... and and and!! If I had bowed and changed my approach, I would have been scr*wed! I’d have found this morning that I had changed it all for nothing and would have been scrambling and putting out a lot of energy to put things back to the way they were – and looking like an idiot in front of a whole bunch of other people!!!! Good thing I did what I did .. even if it did cause me a sleepless night!!

I am sorry to be so cryptic, lol!!! lol!!! but basically .. I need to trust my instincts. I have had so many of these situations lately in which, rather than deferring to others and letting anger build up, I have kept my anger to myself while firmly but politely standing my ground and each time it has worked out. I have had to just cope with the stress of doing the right thing each time, but maybe I can begin to trust my sense of what is right more and more … one can hope! Being true to yourself, while still being conscious of others' needs .. and careful "to do the right thing" is just critical!

Reverse "Fatso" Bullying
Meanwhile, for the past year and into the current academic year, there are two girls who have been bullying my eldest .. let's call it "reverse size discrimination." My take on it is that both of these girls are uncomfortable with their size and shapes. Neither of them can be considered heavy, really. One is very big-boned, muscular and athletic and one just has more of an apple shape than my daughter and some of the other group of girls.

They would go swimming together in the summer, etc and the two would, singly, and together be calling her "fat-arse" laughing at “how funny that is” AND "skinny-arse," and have been accusing her of being anorexic. They call her “vampire” and other names referring to her white skin and very pale tans she can get .. one is half african-american and the other has Mediterranean roots and tans well. One of them comments on her having acne (and it is mild .. certainly less than many many of the other kids).

Well, yesterday in front of an entire table of girls, after lunch, one of the girls asked dd to go and buy an ice cream together. DD said she wasn't hungry because she just ate lunch and didn't want one, and that she was cutting down on her sweets (probably a mistake to say that!) and this girl started in on her with the "anorexic" thing. Some of the girls kind of seconded this (probably afraid to be bullied themselves) and dd, felt under pressure went and bought and ate an ice cream sandwich she *did not want* just then. She feels like she cannot say anything to any of the girls or she will be accused of “calling them fat,” basically inferring that they are not “watching what they eat” because she does, etc. She feels like she is in a minefield and does nothing to deserve it but be herself. She has tried to distance herself from both of them, but they both seek her out .. she is popular in her own way.

Thing is DD is about 5'4" right now and 115 lbs, and has a very healthy build. Strong muscular legs and arms, and you can almost see a little tiny 2-pack of abs through the normal belly fat when she flexes to show them to Mom, lol. She is by no means skinny or even close to underweight. The other girls are all bigger and taller, weigh more and **can eat more** even those that wear the same size clothing. One of her supportive friends weighs 130, but is 5’8. She and dd wear the same size jeans … Another of the girls is noticeably thinner than dd .. also not underweight, just less curvy and they do not abuse her in this way because she brings a lunchbox full of junk food to school. Another child is as pale as my dd (the one who wears the same jean size), but is tall and they do not bully her at all. It all just makes no sense.

My dd’s usual lunch is a deli flat bagel, cream cheese, a bag of smartfood popcorn and a water .. that's about 400 calories and the child snacks a LOT .. and eats whole pizzas with her friends at times and mountains of cookies (which is the reason behind the cutting down on sweets). How many times can I tell her, the whole thing is about them and not about her .. that it is about their own dissatisfaction with themselves, and that it does not help that she gets a lot of boy attention (mostly because she is a compassionate and non-judgemental listener and treats them like people not objects – not for any of the physical things these girls attribute to her).

She is insightful and she does know all this, but can’t win no matter what she does .. as, in a way, the whole thing is passive aggressive too, because it is almost like they dare her to defend herself, so they can be outraged that *she* implies anything about them …

I will likely post this on the PG as well .. to see what others might have to say ..

Other stuff

Anyhow … lots and lots and lots going on in the mental realm as well as the usual actual active Fall schedules which we have.

My books arrived from the library, Mindful Eating and The Purpose Driven Life. I am in the middle of a detective story, but may tackle Mindful Eating next. The Carb Conscious Vegetarian (a cookbook) arrived – which I was going to peruse for another LCF member – I did look through it, saw some good recipes, but am not particularly motivated to make them right now, lol! In the meantime, he bought the book, so I am going to dispense with a review and just return it, lol! Unless someone decides they just must have me pen a few words about it ..

I also took out a video of the HBO movies The #1 Ladies Detective Agency and am really enjoying that! I will have to read the books as well – I don’t usually see movies before reading the book, and am almost sorry I have this time, but the movie is very cute, full of beautiful scenes of Botswana, that lovely African choral-type music, and really great characters …

What else? I was passing a lowcarb store (yay!) near me, hopped out and bought myself some individual treats .. I think I will save them for Friday night dinners at home .. I got two individual cheesecakes, and a brownie. I buy almost everything from Netrition. The price and selection can't be beat, but I am going to make a point of supporting that store more than I have and maybe buying the one-off treats is the way to go for me. Don't get me wrong they are too pricey, lol! But if I only buy 4 a month, I think that's ok. I had one of the mini-cheesecakes last night and it was nowhere near as good as the homemade Beachgirl's Cheesecake recipe, lol! That's probably good as cream cheese makes my body grab water weight and so I limit it to once or twice a week ...

Excuse the mind-dump today! It was an exercise in mental health, I think … it felt good to type it out and not have to bore anyone IRL with it (well, more than I have already bored my poor family!!! lol!)

Last edited by TaDa!; 10-23-2010 at 04:55 AM..
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Old 10-23-2010, 01:24 PM   #1275
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okeeeeeey .. just parking some recipes here from the Playground vegetarian recipe thread .. a little higher carb ... these are some good ideas to feed my veggie girls. I think they would eat these! And I could too if I wanted. I try and eat beans more sparingly usually ..

Quote:
Originally Posted by magentagirl13 View Post
Here's my vegetarian chili recipe. I got it from that yoga weight loss memoir (I can't remember the author or title)

2 cans black beans, drained
1 16 oz package frozen broccoli
2 cans mild Rotel
1 jar salsa
1 onion
cloves of garlic to taste

Chop and saute onion and then add garlic.
Add beans, tomatoes, and salsa.
Simmer for a little while, then add broccoli. I usually simmer this for another 30 minutes; the broccoli doesn't get yucky.

Serve with grated cheese if you want.

This is super good!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tacky View Post
In our house we do Meatless Mondays. A couple of faves have been Root Vege Tagine over couscous and Stuffed Shells.

I added butternut squash instead of turnips and threw in some dried apricots too:

Root Vegetable Tagine with Sweet Potatoes, Carrots, Turnips, and Spice-Roasted Chickpeas Recipe at Epicurious.com
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Old 10-25-2010, 04:56 PM   #1276
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Monday October 25, 2010

I'm doing well .. although the allergies are killing me and I opted out of the gym today since I felt so yikky. Tonight I will take Claritin again .. I skipped it yesterday which I think was my big mistake! lol!

I succeeded again yesterday in holding myself back from "helicoptering" and, wonder of wonders, my kiddo came through .. I have to keep reminding myself that it is my job to give help with skills, learn what needs to be learned at home -- and just let them follow through on their own ... why it is so hard for me, I am not sure!!! My mother had an iron grip on me .. and maybe her reactions and sense of urgency about the kids is all that I have to draw upon? I know when i see it in others, it is very ugly .. and when i experienced it mysel growing up, it was very stifling ... I.Cannot.Go.There.

TOPS tomorrow a.m. I am TOM'ing so having some water weight ... I hate weight fluctuation due to the whole TOPS weigh-in thing .. However it is the whole weigh-in thing keeping me honest, lol!

I got my winnings in the mail today, along with a very nice note from one of thel adies tellng me how much she enjoys my contributions to the group (presentations and just in general) .. very sweet! As always, I hope I can live up to the accolades I get, lol! If she only knew how I had to drag myself to the meeting where I was to be "Dorothy" in the little play ...
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Old 10-26-2010, 10:33 AM   #1277
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Tuesday October 26, 2010

So my TOPS meeting today was a class with a nutritionist from a local supermarket which was wonderful although the lowfat anti-saturated fat bias was there .. She did speak about the food pyramid and the fact that a daily serving of grains on a 2000 calorie plan is about 5-6 oz ... a bagel can be 4-6 oz in itself ...

I think the talk of serving sizes in itself was very valuable to people .. but in interacting with some of the group, and taking in a lot of the posts on the boards lately, I have some thoughts at the top of my head ...

The Fairytales of the Average Dieter

These are things I can see from having "been there, done that" and having seen what it actually does take to maintain a loss ..

* Atkins directive to dispense with calories is not a "one-size fits all" prescription and in fact, it only works for one specific type of weight gain issue ... for those who only ever eat in response to blood sugar cues that the Atkins program fixes .. and that is very very few people. Even those who can count carbs only and do well, have times when they are not eating to their appetite only ..

* People who have lost all their excess bodyfat do not suddenly morph into your average American who eats huge calorie-dense, nutrient-deficient foods, and still be able to stay at that goal weight.

* "Normal" eating, the normal American diet of highly processed foods is abnormal. People out there who descry that they can't or won't do this or that, because they just want to be normal are seriously kidding themselves. Even if I followed that dietician's 2000 calorie food plan (rather than lowcarbing), I would only be able to eat the equivalent of a bowl of pasta a day as far as grains .. Add a bowl of breakfast cereal, or a granola bar, a couple of cookies, and a sandwich at lunch .. not even including any french fries here ... normal right? No, add any one of those things to my daily bowl of pasta and I would soon be fat again. I could tell myself I eat "healthy" but fact is, you want to be 23 bmi, or any normal bmi, you have to watch what you eat, one way or another.

* People do not fail only because "it is too hard" not to eat more than a specific diet allows (and too hard to get in the exercise the diet prescribes). People fail because their base assumption is that they will magically turn into some "normal person" whose appetites and preferences change such that they magically maintain their weightloss without ever thinking about it, while going from a program that includes exercise to complete food-inhaling couch potato.

One of my favorite books is Fred Anderson's From Chunk to Hunk .. he loses 100s pounds of weight by eating like "Thin Fred" .. Magically he becomes Thin Fred and just continues on his merry way of eating and exercising like Thin Fred. Imagine that?

Fact is, maintenance eating is not that different than weightloss eating. In my case, I have added a mid-morning snack (250 calories, 2-3 carbs). That's it! If I want one high carb meal, here or there, I can have it, as long as I get back to basics until the weight gets back to equilibrium. I cut down my cardio a bit too .. but I still exercise regularly ...

Listening to people delude themselves and try to garner some sympathy for their plight IRL is much more maddening than it is here on the boards. On the boards, I just stop reading certain threads or avoid them. I will not be an enabler. I will not be part of some fantasy construct where you do what you do and don't get results and your conclusion is "I am special" instead of "What do I do now? What do I try next? What exactly is not working?"

* The biggest fantasy of all is that it is all about the diet and losing the weight. It is about getting a fundamental understanding of where you are going, what awaits you at the end of that journey, and a realization, that even with hundreds of pounds to lose (possibly), the weightloss portion of the journey is finite, and short in comparison to the impact y0ou are hoping to make on the rest of your life .. 1 year? 2 years? 5 years? Is that all you are hoping to survive? Myself, I am hoping to get to 80 at a minimum ... the idea of what I am supposed to be doing for the 40 years after the weightloss has always been important of equal importance to the short-term program ... if not more important when you look at weight recidivism (rebound weight gain statistics for dieters).

ok .. I am done ranting. Maybe I'll feel better now? Time to bake some flax muffins ...
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Old 10-26-2010, 12:55 PM   #1278
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Pauline, I just read your latest page of journalling and wow girl! You have been quite the busy, introspective bee!

Sorry to hear DD is going through this at school. That is so annoying and must be worrying to you. Difficult not to fight her battles for her in those situations and difficult not to helicopter mom it, I bet. I have faith she will figure it out and make it work for her - with you as her mom, I am betting you've already given her the tools she needs to stay true to her core beliefs!

Sorry to hear about your allergies. Don't know if you've tried it, but I switched over from Claritin to Zyrtek and it's really helped. It also helps to take 2400mg of Guifenissen (Mucinex) when I'm having a big flair becuase it keeps the mucus moving and not congesting in my lungs and sinuses. Sometimes I use the Mucinex with the DM (cough suppressant and sometimes just the plain one).

I really liked what you had to say about the myths of weight loss, too! Nice!
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Old 10-26-2010, 03:24 PM   #1279
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Originally Posted by TaDa! View Post
Tuesday October 26, 2010

* People do not fail only because "it is too hard" not to eat more than a specific diet allows (and too hard to get in the exercise the diet prescribes). People fail because their base assumption is that they will magically turn into some "normal person" whose appetites and preferences change such that they magically maintain their weightloss without ever thinking about it, while going from a program that includes exercise to complete food-inhaling couch potato.

...
HEY Pauline! Quit talking about me!!!

It's true. For so many of us we just want to be "normal." What definition of normal are we using? What is Normal? We are who we are. Dieting is not going to change that. I have learned this the hard way. Now, I am not looking for a finish line; I’m looking for a long life. We can’t get wrapped up in “my brother in law can eat what ever he wants and never gains weight…” waaaahh! Get over it!

I know that this incredibly strong desire to be someone else has caused me to regress as much as anything else. A goal of changing into a different person is not realistic; in fact it is a guaranteed failure (at least for me.) I need to change my body, change my health by changing the way I think about food and eating. This is not going to change me into a different person, especially one who can all of a sudden eat pizza and sit on the sofa. I will still be me, and if that means I will need to pay attention to food and how I eat for the rest of my life then so be it. That is really not that big of an issue. I mean seriously, how hard is that? I know where the other road leads and that is to unhappiness and obesity.

Oops, I just ranted on top of your rant. Sorry!

Thank you for your insight!
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Old 10-26-2010, 03:41 PM   #1280
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I concur with all that has been said...especially about you being a good parent that most assuredly has given the tools and the tool box your daughter needs to figure this out. She may not know how to do it right at the moment but in time she will and will take that with her in forming who she is in her adult life.
I have to tell you....2lbs down since our last chat. Cheese as only a once a week treat seams to be helping.
Hope you are "stuffy" free now Dorothy!
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Old 10-26-2010, 05:08 PM   #1281
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Pauline, I just read your latest page of journalling and wow girl! You have been quite the busy, introspective bee!

Sorry to hear DD is going through this at school. That is so annoying and must be worrying to you. Difficult not to fight her battles for her in those situations and difficult not to helicopter mom it, I bet. I have faith she will figure it out and make it work for her - with you as her mom, I am betting you've already given her the tools she needs to stay true to her core beliefs!

Sorry to hear about your allergies. Don't know if you've tried it, but I switched over from Claritin to Zyrtek and it's really helped. It also helps to take 2400mg of Guifenissen (Mucinex) when I'm having a big flair becuase it keeps the mucus moving and not congesting in my lungs and sinuses. Sometimes I use the Mucinex with the DM (cough suppressant and sometimes just the plain one) ....
Thanks very much Poot! I really should give Zyrtec a shot. My dd was on it for many years until Claritin went otc and the frikken insurance company made us switch .. sobs, lol! The Zyrtec *was* more effective for her ... maybe I'll get me some! Luckily .. or not .. all my congestion is in my head -- I can barely hear anything, lol!!! I've spent the day asking people to "please speak up" lol!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Colo Alex View Post
HEY Pauline! Quit talking about me!!!

It's true. For so many of us we just want to be "normal." What definition of normal are we using? What is Normal? We are who we are. Dieting is not going to change that. I have learned this the hard way. Now, I am not looking for a finish line; I’m looking for a long life. We can’t get wrapped up in “my brother in law can eat what ever he wants and never gains weight…” waaaahh! Get over it!

I know that this incredibly strong desire to be someone else has caused me to regress as much as anything else. A goal of changing into a different person is not realistic; in fact it is a guaranteed failure (at least for me.) I need to change my body, change my health by changing the way I think about food and eating. This is not going to change me into a different person, especially one who can all of a sudden eat pizza and sit on the sofa. I will still be me, and if that means I will need to pay attention to food and how I eat for the rest of my life then so be it. That is really not that big of an issue. I mean seriously, how hard is that? I know where the other road leads and that is to unhappiness and obesity ....
So true Alex!!! Sometimes what our eyes see as some inherent unfairness in life is just not relevant!!! and we need to get tough, and just tell ourselves ... "Ahem, Pauline, Not relevant, you know this, right?"

Thing is, at least with the women around me, who are my age .. or really anyone over the age of 35 ... they are not sitting around eating pizzas and looking thin. No, most of them eat salads and 100 calorie packs of tiny cookies in between aerobics classes. And, I think that our idea that they are eating those big portions at restaurants and all the crazy processed foods out there, or that they can, is just flawed! A defense mechanism, if you will ..

I agree there is the odd man out, who is middleaged, can eat poorly and remain fit looking, but they are really the anomaly!! My dh's office is full of men - some a good 20 or more years younger than him (he's 50) who eat "normally", do not exercise, and are slowly gaining weight over the years .. as dh has brought in his own lunches (not lowcarb, just healthy), ran two marathons, played soccer year-round, etc etc. I think those poor guys getting fatter month by month are the norm .. not the brother-in-law who can eat a lot of pizza and be thin ... yanno! I'd prefer to be outside of the norm too, a guy who, like dh consciously tries to live a healthy lifestyle and is continually mistaken for a much younger man ..

I think our minds lead us to seek out and glorify the very few exceptions to the rule to hold up to ourselves and torture ourselves with the unfairness of it all ... I think it is an illusion our minds create to justify our preferred lifestyle of rolling around on the couch making love to the chip bag .. heh heh heh

(I always knew that, like me, you weren't normal Alex )

Quote:
Originally Posted by msmoon View Post
I concur with all that has been said...especially about you being a good parent that most assuredly has given the tools and the tool box your daughter needs to figure this out. She may not know how to do it right at the moment but in time she will and will take that with her in forming who she is in her adult life.
I have to tell you....2lbs down since our last chat. Cheese as only a once a week treat seams to be helping.
Hope you are "stuffy" free now Dorothy!
Well done Mavis!!! You knew exactly what the culprit was!!!!! We all know don't we!!!! Good on you for making yourself confront it That is the hardest thing of all!!!

Last edited by TaDa!; 10-26-2010 at 05:09 PM..
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Old 10-26-2010, 06:53 PM   #1282
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Pauline, thank God Zyrtek is now OTC as well and I take the generic (Certrizine) that I get at Sam's. I think 144 pill was like < $20? More like $15.00? Can't really remember but the Zyrtek is like $35.00 at Sam's for maybe a month's worth?

Feel better soon!
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Old 10-28-2010, 04:02 PM   #1283
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(I always knew that, like me, you weren't normal Alex )


Oh you have no idea!!

from a great move, Young Frankenstein "whose brain did you get?" "Abby someone" "Abby someone?" "Yes" "You mean I put in an abnormal brain in a 7 foot monster?"

I just love that movie! and yes I have an abby someone brain!



And I wouldn't trade it for any other!!!
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Old 10-29-2010, 04:43 AM   #1284
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Poot! I have heard a lot of advice to take Zyrtec in the last two weeks, lol! I am going to hunt down some generic! Thanks!

Alex .. yah!! Whose brain did you get??!!

Friday October 29, 2010

I decided to forgo the Claritin last night to see what was going on with my weight .. I will try to stay off for a few days (tonight I'll have a couple glasses of wine, so that will throw things off anyhow). So this morning I was at 127 and I even skipped one workout this week due to allergic head dizziness.

My 9 day calorie average is 1970 calories a day.
My 14 day calorie average (including a binge) is 2019 calories a day

Carbs have been mostly around 60, with a day here or there of higher or lower and that level does not seem to affect me one way or another.

I guess having my weight at the low end of things, like before vacation in August, is a great place to be before the holidays, not in order to eat carbier or anything like that, but to be able to eat out (on plan! always higher calories than expected!) more during the holiday season .. maybe afford an extra glass of wine or two during that time, a very high calorie lowcarb meal at Thanksgiving, etc.

The only thing about getting to 127 and lower is that I cannot let myself buy new clothes as even a pound or two affects how my clothes fit now ... I have turned into one of "them".

I was thinking on how much my life has changed in the last year and it really is kind of insane. Much of it has been prompted by changes for my children which have led me to have to leave certain groups in order to be there for the kids, join others that fit in with those things and my joining TOPS and committing to making weight maintenance an active part of my life, not just a passive "oh look my pants are tight" method (which works too, just the stress of getting back down each time is not something I want to keep doing).

I have a lot of new stresses this past year. Many are very good stresses, but I can see how my life will be changing throughout the next 10 years. I am glad I have given myself the time to think about it and come to terms with it. Having the weight issue under control is going to be a big part of coping with the new stuff, I think ...

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Old 10-29-2010, 03:08 PM   #1285
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Alex .. yah!! Whose brain did you get??!!
Hey, I know you are jealous of my brain!

You know the only constant in life is change. How we deal with that change makes us who we are and puts us where we are. I don’t know of anyone who has handled things as well as you have. I just know that whatever comes your way you will rise to meet any and all challenges.

The “weight issue” as you put it is like an anchor on us. It can make a little issue big and a big issue impossible. You have a firm grasp on this “weight issue” and it is in your back pocket. Now the little issues are easy and the big ones you will climb and conquer. That “weight issue” will always be there but you are in control of it; it does not control you. So you got this!

You go have a great weekend!
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Old 10-31-2010, 08:31 AM   #1286
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Hey, I know you are jealous of my brain!

You know the only constant in life is change. How we deal with that change makes us who we are and puts us where we are. I don’t know of anyone who has handled things as well as you have. I just know that whatever comes your way you will rise to meet any and all challenges.

The “weight issue” as you put it is like an anchor on us. It can make a little issue big and a big issue impossible. You have a firm grasp on this “weight issue” and it is in your back pocket. Now the little issues are easy and the big ones you will climb and conquer. That “weight issue” will always be there but you are in control of it; it does not control you. So you got this!
I think that is the crux of the weight thing for me ... the uncomfortableness of change and its inevitability! And, you are so right about that anchor of weight .. it makes everything 100 times worse and gives me that sense of gravity that paralyzes me!!!! I am so much better able to cope when I do not have a food crutch luring me ....

Sunday October 31, 2010

Wifey posted a great link to allrecipes.com ... my kids drive me nuts - vegetarian - but won't eat squashes, mushrooms, can't have nuts, don't like anything that appears healthy, lol! -

Anyhow the link is to plain vegetarian recipes -- so not lc -- but I like the look of this one and it would be lc'ish if I exchange the 1/2 cup soft bread crumbs for some lc bread crumbs, and I'll probably use lc ketchup and crushed tomato (as well as an extra egg!) as recommended in one of the reviews:

Vegetarian Meatloaf Recipe - Allrecipes.com

it is a bit of a bummer that all the loaf recipes that really speak to me - with lentils, etc (not using processed crumbles or burgers), all include rice or breadcrumbs as a main ingredient and I cannot use nut flours in family meals due to nut allergy in the family ...
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Old 11-01-2010, 02:42 PM   #1287
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Monday November 1, 2010

ugh .. birthday party sleepover tonight .. 4 kids + mine... Half an hour before party, 2 call to say they'll be an hour late -- due to Sports, etc. They knew this when we sent invites almost 2 weeks ago ... They knew it was a small party. Why didn't they bother to tell us til right before the party?

How come I make such a big deal of being polite toward others, doing the right thing, etc. even when it is a pain in my neck -- only to get treated like our feelings don't matter?

Wondering whether to be more callous towards others .. especially those who have shown their priorities do not include keeping in our good graces ...

Just feeling annoyed right now for dd! Good to get it out.
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Old 11-02-2010, 05:47 AM   #1288
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Monday November 2, 2010

Much better today! Everything has gone great so far and I think dd is very very happy with her 10th birthday party!

It has been a shameless carb fest:

pizza
whoopie pie cake
vanilla ice cream
popcorn
chocolate chip waffles
(ha ha ha! with sugarfree syrup)
juice
milk
caffeine-free soda

Happy day! They are heading outside to the tree house, lol!

Weight is still down - 127 - had hunger last night. Not sure whether it was simply because I was up late, or just hunger because my body needed it, but I did workout upper body weights yesterday, and my weight is low, so I had a protein-filled snack .. Calories ended up at 2244 .. about 300 over what I have been eating on a weekday.

I think keeping my norm at the 1950, with a Friday night higher, and then beyond those amounts, eating when there is real hunger, is the way I will go for the moment. When I have had hunger lately, I have added 2 laughing cow cheeses (70 cal, 2 net carbs), and/or swiss miss diet cocoa (25 cal, 3 net carb) .. last night, also had: homemade pb bar (252 cal, 4.5 net carbs) ... I just know in a week or two, my weight will be spiking back up from 127 to 133 or something. It is really hard to keep a handle on what to do when the weight fluctuates like this ... anyhow, I plod on! Happy to be maintaining!
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Old 11-04-2010, 02:23 PM   #1289
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Thursday November 4, 2010

Really kinda happy! I was able to chart my youngest's height and weight today (I try to weigh her here once a year or less) ... and her weight was taken the other day while getting a flu shot, so I suggested today that we do a birthday height measurement for fun ..

Well as the story goes .. normal bmi is measured in 5 to 85 percentile for children / against their weight. DD has made huge strides .. and even in the past year. I am so happy for her, she finally grew into her weight with us working on portion sizing and healthier foods ...

06/2007 BMI 91
11/2008 BMI 82
11/2009 BMI 86 .. at the cusp of normal bmi
04/2010 BMI 77th percentile reached normal .. under by 3 pounds
11/2010 BMI 64th percentile

her doctor had flagged her and asked us to work on it .. and she has been flirting with the edge of the "normal/overweight" line. Last year, she made it to a 3 pound buffer .. but has improved that this year to a 9 pound buffer and I am so pleased! I have increased the amount of food for her and am keeping her active and I can tell she is just thrilled herself .. she even asked me to send "healthy" food with her when she goes to grandma's because Grandma "doesn't do as good feeding me healthy" lol!

64th percentile when 5-85 is normal, is just perfect in my eyes! I am really pleased at how we have succeeded without really making her too aware of what was going on ..


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Old 11-05-2010, 04:11 AM   #1290
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Friday November 5, 2010

Some more really good stuff!!!! I took my monthly measurements and although my whole "trunk" has stayed the same in measurements, I lost fractions of inches in my upper arm - .25 in! Thigh - .5 in!! and Calf (which I thought was rock solid to begin with, lol!) - .25 in since a month ago.

Scale weight difference from the two days I took measurements is only 1.25 pound difference ... Happy Day! I will work out this morning with extra vigor .. lol!
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