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Old 08-01-2010, 04:24 PM   #1201
Way too much time on my hands!
 
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<update>

had to go to the ER .. my arm is huge-normous and very painful. I've been told to take continuous Benadryl and given a 7 day course of Keflex (cephalexin) 2000 mg/day. Also had an update to my tetanus shot (from 2003).

You know I am sick when I forget to eat. I've been told no gym or workout tomorrow. Rest, ice and elevation ...
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Old 08-01-2010, 05:07 PM   #1202
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aaah! sounds painful. i'm glad you are okay, but forced non-exercise is the worst! and ERs totally freak me out.

i hope your arms heals expediently!
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Old 08-01-2010, 05:36 PM   #1203
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Oh no!! I hope you feel better soon!! And congrats on the skinny jeans! =D
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Old 08-02-2010, 10:15 AM   #1204
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Oh I am so sorry about your arm!! Hope you feel better very quickly.

Love your journal and all of your tips for maintaining. TFS!!
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Old 08-02-2010, 10:55 AM   #1205
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Thank you Little3, Crystal, and VAstamper!!!! I have to say I am totally spaced out on the meds and really hate that, lol! It's all a real hassle, lol! but I should be in good shape by next week.



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Old 08-04-2010, 10:09 AM   #1206
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Wednesday August 4, 2010

I am finally convinced that my arm is getting better, so I tried to go to the gym today, thinking I'd do lower body and cardio, but getting out of the car to drop dd to her play rehearsal, I realized that i was seriously dizzy (despite taking the sodium broth this morning) and that going to the gym could be a big mistake .. so I hightailed it home and am still dizzy. I took myself off the benadryl yesterday but re-read the antibiotic sheet and one of the side effects is dizziness -- yet they say to continue the whole 7 days.

The arm is not perfect yet, it still hurts but is not so crazy as it was, so I'm thinking this was a pretty serious thing and I need to finish all 7 days of the antibiotics (4x a day ). I will try again tomorrow and see how I feel, but I know my workouts will not allow for any dizziness ... hmf!

I've been eating lower calories to account for the lack of activity - at my weight, etc, a sedentary maintenance level is 1600 so I am eating close to that and I have to say I have not been hungry so it must be about right. I will not stress if I even lose below 128 as I am off to vacation in a little over a week and will likely be confronted with some tough food situations ...
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Old 08-06-2010, 06:28 AM   #1207
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Friday August 6, 2010

Whoa! I am pms'ing and am extremely ... I repeat, extremely, irritable the last few days. I think it is not helpful that I am not exercising and am eating less to account for it. Everything is getting on my nerves - my teen, the non-refundable travel arrangements / vacation that dh booked, my yard, even a lot of the posts here, lol!!!

My weight is doing pretty good, all considered. It is at 130 this morning -- but with my chest hurting so much, I know I am at least carrying a half pound, if not more, of water weight. The antibiotic prescription that is keeping me dizzy runs out on Sunday evening and so I am hoping I will be exercise next week ... that schedule will work out better with little dd's camp arrangements for next week which is a big plus! although I will be getting ready for our trip which always makes me grumpy too, lol!

Anyhow ... to get through today harmlessly .. ha!
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Old 08-11-2010, 04:49 AM   #1208
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Wednesday August 11, 2010

It would appear I am still grumpy, lol!!

There is no substitute for Personal Responsibility

Unless a person accepts that they are the only ones who can fix their weightloss problem, no special diet program, magic health supplement or pill is going to save them.

We all have special circumstances that make weightloss "unfair". We can sit around and wallow in self-pity over why why why am I such a special sad little case, or we can pick up the gauntlet and fight .. and say, "No way am I going to accept this as my fate. I am just going to do what it takes to get the job done."

The world is full of pathetic wronged fat people and nobody cares about the unfairness. Everybody has a reason why weightloss is difficult for them. Some choose to deal with it, others choose to endlessly rationalize their obesity. Enough with the whining!!!!!

It's your fault. It's your mess. Fix It!!!!
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Old 08-12-2010, 08:13 AM   #1209
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i wish i could "like" your last post in a facebook kinda way, lol.

ditto down to the letter.
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Old 08-12-2010, 09:56 AM   #1210
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Thanks Little3 I did mean every word, but I must say I am in a much less grumpy mood today!!! Thankfully! I think I was close to bursting a blood vessel, lol!!!

August 12, 2010

Things are much better now. In addition to the wasp sting debacle, I had a lot of stressful things piling up on me .. and last night / yesterday was so stressful, but now everything has resolved well!!!

Mainly, dh is off on his flight and dealing with his ridiculous pre-trip planning is pretty much at an end, lol! Ending at 4 am this morning ... (although the whole insanity will surely start again when the kids and I get there Sunday!)

So, he decides/insists on waking at 3, showering, shaving, eating, drinking tea and *then* heading into Boston ... travel time under perfect conditions leaves him at the airport at 4 .. for a 5am flight ... ugh. So of course, I get to Boston and the ramp is closed and the Callahan tunnel is closed and they re-route us through Boston nightmare construction/ Big Dig crap to the northbound tunnel entrance ... and I am half asleep almost miss the signs etc ... kept my mouth shut and let my beloved id'jit husband stew next to me. If it was my flight, we would have had a big fight over his "wake up" plans .. anyhow! The last in a serious of silly things he insists on. It's like having another child .. I have to secretly hide items he's going to need on the trip because he insists he won't, etc etc etc. I have finally decided after 20 years to state my opinion but just let him suffer some consequences himself - I am fed up with the stress he hands me!!!!

OK, enough complaining on dh ... So my night started earlier with little dd heading out to an audition - where we spent about 3 hours and she did so beautifully, I am certain of a callback and 99% sure that she'd get an ensemble role if nothing else - which is all they need anyhow ... to learn and have fun (although a lead is pretty good too, I won't lie ). I was just thrilled with everything she did - lines, vocal and dance auditions (she is less skilled in dance, but her enthusiasm and "show face" just made up for anything else - she performed!)

So we had stress leading up to that .. and stress involved with one of the other mothers I know who is one of these stagemoms somewhat - although that is the wrong word - she is just highly dedicated and focused on her children's roles and doesn't insist on a lot of normality for them, but maybe that is a key to being successful at things .. crazed unwavering focus, something I lack a bit - anyhow, I mostly just want my kid to have fun, be active and have a hobby she can enjoy her whole life ...

Anyhow, so one of the children is in dd's grade and they have become friends or were until the other girl started to be jealous of my dd and her involvements in theater, etc and I am just trying to keep my dd's auditions, etc at different times than this family because dd doesn't need the distraction and the kids in question have some real discipline issues -- that we do not need associated with my dd during an audition!!! Anyhow I spoke to that mom yesterday and luckily they were not going to that particular audition slot, so I felt some sense of relief for dd. Having the other girl around makes her nervous due to the jealousy thing ... although the children have an audition for another show when we get back from our trip which will absolutely be at the same time ... so we'll see on that ...

OK rambling over - My weight is at 128 this morning .. I will likely record a pre-vacation weight in my sig on Saturday morning ... I am crazily considering bringing along my digital scale in my suitcase as it only weighs 2 pounds, lol .. not sure whether that would be crazy or a great idea, seeing as I will have a 7 pound float up before I am in trouble with my TOPS group (and if anything I will likely only have water weight gain mostly anyhow. I only gained 1 pound in Mexico 2 yrs ago, went at 127 pre-vacation, returned weighing 128) ... Still dunno! I'll see what happens when I pack the suitcases!

Last edited by TaDa!; 08-12-2010 at 10:00 AM..
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Old 08-14-2010, 08:15 AM   #1211
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Saturday August 14, 2010

OK, so we leave tonight for the trip! I start vacation at 128.5 pounds which is fine! I am still not sure whether I will bring a weighing scales or not - I still have to see how I do on packing to the required luggage weight!

Lots of last-minute snafus .. My gsm phone has died! DH has made a $4,000 mistake and the list goes on and on, lol! I have been very nice about this mistake of his .. but am seething inside. It may have been an expensive purchase, but I am thinking that the 4K will have bought me some extra decisionmaking power in this relationship .. i.e. maybe he will be more likely to listen when I have objections, and maybe I will be a little more obstinate in future!! I am no delicate flower, lol! but I do often defer certain things to dh when he insists ...

Anyhooo!! Busy day ahead of me, not sure whether I will be back in here today. I will have some internet access on vacation so may update here and there!

Wish me luck!!
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Old 08-14-2010, 08:23 AM   #1212
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oooops! I forgot to post this .. the last 4 weeks on maintenance .. looks like I know what maintains me .. I may have to fool around a bit with the exercise portion of things when I get back to the States and sync it to the food level I enjoy (1800-2000 cal / 50-100 net carbs), but I am absolutely in the ballpark ...



Looks like normal eating and exercise puts me in a 4-pound floating range and I can expect to be anywhere from 128-132 on a regular basis even with a few carby (but not outrageously carby) meals. I had one Indian meal that included chickpea pakora, lentils, a few pieces of potato in the food .. and made sure to eat me-sized portions (so 2 plates with half of each plate being filled with plain salad) ... Leaving places like that satisfied but not stuffed - which is my usual "happy place" seems to assure that.

I am getting used to feeling hunger before each meal now. It is a new thing, a next step for me ...
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Old 08-15-2010, 12:41 PM   #1213
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Hey hey stranger!!

Just thought I would pop by. You look amazing hun!

Had a turbulant year, but I'm more determined than ever! I'm gonna pm you maybe tomorrow, but wanted to pop by and say you look WAHOWWW!
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Old 08-15-2010, 02:34 PM   #1214
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Hey Glamour!!! I'm in Costa Rica!! So nice to hear from you!!!! PM me, I'll try to get online tomorrow at some point too.



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Old 08-17-2010, 11:15 PM   #1215
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Wednesday August 18, 2010

Hmmm .. trying to change my avi with no luck! I need to get on my own 'puter to re-size this! Anyhow! This morning in Escazu, Costa Rica:


Last edited by TaDa!; 08-17-2010 at 11:18 PM..
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Old 08-18-2010, 12:03 AM   #1216
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Looking great Pauline! I hope you are having a relaxing and fun time there!
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Old 08-19-2010, 04:04 PM   #1217
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Thursday August 19, 2010

I am having a good but crazy time in Costa Rica .. very tough being a vegetarian and a lowcarber here. I could high carb vegetarian easily, but actually I guess lc at all is very tough. The cuisine is built on starches -- very little vegetables!!! very little cheese and dairy!!! Most of the fish gets exported!!!

I am eating fruits - papaya, pineapple, plantain - and supplementing with food I brought in my case and food we bought here at the supermarket!!! It is kind of a bummer as Mexico had a lot of vegetable and fish options. I didn't weigh, just ate well and came back at 128 lbs!! ...

Anyhow, my range is 128-138 for TOPS. My weight has been going up (which is ok! It was actually freeing to bring a scale and be able to gauge weight gain and let myself eat some higher carb things as I can weigh myself daily!). I was at 128.7 this morning and have 5 more days, so I'm doing ok, I think!

I just had a major workout .... 2 hour jungle "hike" It was like Indiana Jones meets Jurassic Park!!!! At one point running over hanging bridge with the children as lightening and thunder and torrential downpours let loose, lol
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Old 08-23-2010, 12:24 PM   #1218
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TaDa! View Post
Wednesday August 11, 2010

It would appear I am still grumpy, lol!!

There is no substitute for Personal Responsibility

Unless a person accepts that they are the only ones who can fix their weightloss problem, no special diet program, magic health supplement or pill is going to save them.

We all have special circumstances that make weightloss "unfair". We can sit around and wallow in self-pity over why why why am I such a special sad little case, or we can pick up the gauntlet and fight .. and say, "No way am I going to accept this as my fate. I am just going to do what it takes to get the job done."

The world is full of pathetic wronged fat people and nobody cares about the unfairness. Everybody has a reason why weightloss is difficult for them. Some choose to deal with it, others choose to endlessly rationalize their obesity. Enough with the whining!!!!!

It's your fault. It's your mess. Fix It!!!!
Now there's some tough love. The not-so-gentle truth directed at oneself.

Plain talk. And very true.

Thanks Pauline.
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Old 08-24-2010, 06:46 AM   #1219
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MrMike!! The King of Tough Love is in the house!! lol!!

That was actually a grumpy outburst responding to the usual endless amounts of whining and equivocating that I see on these boards! I honestly cannot dish it out to others. I know it has to come from inside. People's defenses against the bs fairy tale they've built up around themselves and their "problem" is so huge, they can't listen to a little honesty without flipping out - and those are the ones that need it the most .. just sometimes I wish I could hit people over the head with it and it would click in there, lol!

It sucks to be an adult, lol! but we all have to grow up and face it if we're ever gonna be happy!!!!

So glad you're back MrMike!!! So many oldies I really really miss and would love to see around. We used to have some serious fun in the CC!!!! (and I still have my calendar!!!).



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Old 08-24-2010, 06:05 PM   #1220
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U look awesome girl. Im one who can never imagine myself jogging... 1 day I will!
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Old 08-25-2010, 01:48 PM   #1221
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Thanks Bigbone!!!! You know I do not run half as much as I used to run, but I do exercise and I lost my first 50 pounds just by walking for 30-40 minutes a day .. anything you do will work for this thing!!!! Thanks for posting in my journal Pauline

Wednesday August 25, 2010

Phew! So I am back from Costa Rica as of 2 am yesterday and I am still wrecked, lol! I did well even though the food options were just terrible for me being a vegetarian lowcaber. I guess a zero carb lowcarber could do ok, but anyone else would have some serious trouble there unless they were eating in nice restaurants. The local fare is mostly rice, beans, tortillas, plantain, cassava and meats with some fruit.

I was frankly a little worried and managed to pack my scale which was a very good thing! I dropped to 127 on my second day there and then climbed steadily to about 132 when I decided to lay off the fried plantain, plantain chips, and cut down my fruit, lol! (not my drinking, heh heh!) and I weighed in yesterday at 129.9 ... and today at 129.1 so it looks like the bulk of that was water weight!

I have to say I do not think I'd have enjoyed the available carbs anyhow ... I really like fish, nuts, vegetables, and cheeses and when you take those things away and sub them with starches and sugar, it totally totally does not appeal to me in any way shape or form ... I like my starches with butter and cheese on top, lol! (or should I say I once did in my 200+ lb days).

So, this coming week is just absolute insanity before the kids go back to school. Today was my eldest's highschool orientation and that was just a loooooong day with jetlag! My youngest has an audition for Annie on Saturday and I am working with her on that -- as before vacation we had to concentrate on rehearsing to audition for a different show ... if she gets into both, or gets callbacks for both, I don't know how I'll cope, lol!

So busy busy busy and not sure if I'll make it to the gym until next week ... but I am feeling good about my weight, etc and that makes this week a little easier to cope with! I also have some fall clothes shopping on the agenda as I need some new sweaters and blazers ... yay!
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Old 08-26-2010, 05:32 AM   #1222
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Thursday August 26, 2010

I was asked who I was cuddling in my avatar



Well, it was the fat lady in the lobby of our hotel in Costa Rica:



Apparently they like us big girls, because there appear to be lots of fat lady statues. The first one, by Jimenez Deredia was just outside the hotel and the second one was in nearby San Jose:



And yes, I felt quite at home!
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Old 08-26-2010, 05:53 PM   #1223
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OK ... had to come back in and add: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!! Little dd got a callback for her last audition .. Chitty Bang Bang!!!! very cool. Even if she does not get it, she'll be able to be in the "ensemble" and it was an honor to get the callback ..

She has another audition on Saturday for Annie and it will likely be a much tougher one .. I was concerned that she might get disappointed and there is a family with 2 children who could get parts as they have performed there before (But -- who behave competitively, are not very gracious and could make her feel bad ... too young for that crap!!) .. So now she has her own thing and can tell herself she *did* get a callback too -- yay yay yay yay!!!!
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Old 08-27-2010, 01:59 PM   #1224
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great news for you daugher Pauline.
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Old 08-28-2010, 05:29 AM   #1225
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Aww Thanks Debbie!!! I can see her rehearsing right now for this next one (through the glass doors) -- and she sounds and looks great, but I feel so much better knowing she will have a show - some show - no matter how she does on this audition, lol! It breaks my heart when the little ones get that "rejection" in any of their activities, especially when others they know get "it" whatever "it" may be, lol!

Saturday August 28, 2010

So I am 4/5 days into normal eating - no restrictions - and my weight is down from a high of 132 to 128 this morning which is really shocking to me. It just shows me the difference in the quality and quantity of carbs makes a huge difference in how my weight behaves.

I suppose my only disappointment is that my weight does respond immediately (in the up direction) to higher carb levels (well over 100 net), so that if I am to use TOPS as my guideline (125-135 lbs before I am considered as leaving maintenance), that I will always do better to start holidays at as low a weight as I can so that I can enjoy myself and the extra carbs without worrying that I will blow right out of that maintenance level at TOPS (and also an extra pound or two feels huuuuuuge in my bathing suit, lol!)

It is funny, and I imagine a lot of people reading this would say, "Hmf! If that is Maintenance, then it is way too much control - I should be able to just eat and maintain and not bother with the rest ..."

But Leo41 wrote something on a thread of mine that just hit me squarely between the eyes:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Leo41 View Post
.... It's also such a relief to know the 'secret' to successful maintenance--eternal vigilance.
It is so true. If that is the only "secret" than it would be insanity to reject it for a fantasy world in which you snap your fingers and suddenly you eat and behave and maintain effortlessly -- because it just ain't gonna happen and all the actual hard work of weightloss will be for naught! If you want this, leave your dreams and expectations at the door, and just do what you have to do to keep this gift! I would just add, that the relief is not just at discovering the "secret," but at accepting it too. It takes a lot of courage to reject all your past worldviews and accept that all of this is up to us as individuals. It takes courage to expect big things of oneself.

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Old 08-28-2010, 06:23 AM   #1226
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so what is maintenance? I am not sure I know the answer.There is no such thing as just eating and maintaining for most.Don't we wish.

Eternal Vigilance sounds right to me too!!!
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Old 09-06-2010, 07:09 AM   #1227
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Monday September 6, 2010

I've had a little worry lately over my eldest and some influences some of her friends might be having on her after reading a disturbing chat while monitoring her stuff. She knows I monitor, but not how much or when, etc etc.

I was really torturing myself on how to handle it. I chose to talk to her about it in a general vague way and finally found the right words and the right "level" without simply chaining her to a piece of furniture and losing her trust in me -- and realized afterward that she actually wanted me to step in and make some rules so that she could use me as an excuse not to buy into some bad behaviors ..

I was feeling soooo relieved ... and then I woke up this morning to read her status on facebook ..

"i was trying to wish on a star tonight..and realized there wasnt anything i would wish for to make my life better. ♥"



Sometimes being a mom is great!
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Old 09-08-2010, 04:15 AM   #1228
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September 8, 2010

Everytime you feel a little down on yourself something comes up to remind you of just how far you have come and how well you *are* doing right now.

DD had a rehearsal in an old mill building and ... it was up 9 flights of stairs. We sprinted right on up - no bother to us, but the heat - leaving a fit-looking man, about my age, halfway down, shouting to his daughter further up "are you sure this is the right place?"

We weren't sure either, but we didn't care if we had to climb up there for nothing.

lol!
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Old 09-08-2010, 10:16 AM   #1229
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Pauline, what a great great reminder of how far you have come. I can relate to this in a similar way. I used to hate walking very far. I was w/my daughter and kids at the dr. office and she needed the diaper bag from the car. I went to get it and we had parked quite a ways away. I realized when I got back to the dr. office that it was no big deal and quite easy. Before losing the weight, I would have dreaded going after it and been out of breath, tired, etc. from the effort.

Great job on those 9 flights of stairs and being so fit!
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Old 09-08-2010, 01:21 PM   #1230
Way too much time on my hands!
 
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It is amazing -- the little things -- I even got into that room last night (after the 9 flights of stairs), looked around and realized that everyone my age was a good bit heavier than me. Yah, up close I look my age, but from a distance, I could be a good bit younger, lol! So many advantages you never really think about too much. How cool to be the fit younger-looking grandma .. right??!!!!

Wednesday September 8, 2010 Continued --

Just popping in to mark down a few recipes I want to try from this ironically-named blog I found! everybodylikessandwiches.com .. lol! There are lots of recipes that can be turned lowcarb or vegetarian and she cooks using her CSA allotment, so lots of interesting produce!

I made myself hungry perusing this blog ...

Spicy tofu with shiitake mushrooms

Green beans & tofu in a thai coconut sauce

Braised turnips, onions & carrots
(she says she'd leave out the potato next time)

braised-greens-with-alm0nds-and-an-egg-on-top

grilled scallop ceviche

Last edited by TaDa!; 09-08-2010 at 01:24 PM..
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