Tyler's Battle

[tyler43836]

I've never done a public type journal...or even a private type journal, come to think of it. I guess now is as good a time as any. Somehow I need to keep myself accountable--to myself.

I always seem to be struggling, yo-yo-ing, gaining and losing the same weight over and over again. Most people don't understand the struggle. They look at me and think I look fine. (of course they don't see me naked! HA!) Having been overweight, I think I'll always feel overweight. A fat person in a now thin person's body. I'll always fear the creeping pounds.

I always manage to get within a few pounds of goal and then 'something' happens. An indulgance here and dinner out there and I start to put the pounds back on. Then I feel horrible, both physically and emotionally. I get so angry at myself for 'letting it happen' again. So-I eat clean, don't cheat, all that for days until the pounds start dropping and then I'll be danged if I don't do it again! As I get older the gaining part gets easier and the losing part gets harder.

So here I am. Maybe a daily posting-whether good, bad or indifferent-well help keep me in line or at least help me find the 'triggers' that keep me in the vicious cycle.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day. One of the biggest carbfest days of the year. That's the day I've chosen to begin again for the bazillionth time. So here I go again.....

ETA: Ooops! Tomorrow is the day before one of the biggest carbfest days...
Losing track of time...Is that an age thing?

[tyler43836]

Starting over...again.....is always kindof depressing. When I 'start over' it's because I know I've 'slacked off'. Hopefully this is the last time I'll ever have to use the words 'starting over'!!

Guess it's a good day for it. Feeling pretty crappy. I have a cold, sinus thing going on and really don't have much of an appetite. There will be a lot of low sodium chicken broth going on today.

Thanksgiving at my daughter's house tommorrow. She's very supportive and 'checked' her menu with me to make sure there would be enough for me to eat! What a sweetie. She's baking a ham, but foregoing the brown sugar glaze for my benefit. In addition to her DH's beloved candied yams with marshmellows, she's doing steamed brocolli with melted cheddar. A big salad alongside the mashed potatoes (and she proudly announced her purchase of Carbwell Ranch Dressing!) I'm bringing over LindaSue's just like twice baked potatoes. So the meal is covered for me with plenty of LC choices. My indulgance will be the Crockpot Pumpkin pudding I'm bringing to enjoy whilst they consume the pumkin and dutch apple pies. So I'm all set for a yummy turkeyless turkey day!

Hope you all have a great one!!

[tyler43836]

I love the holidays! Getting ready to go to my DD's in Brooklyn. I put the pumpkin pudding in the crockpot last night and my apartment smelled so 'spicy' when I woke up this morning!
Frying the bacon now for the Just like twice baked potatoes. Pumpkin spices and frying bacon! Wow. Too bad you can't get that combination in an air freshener.
Now if only I had the smell of pine needles from the Christmas tree to go with it!!
Happy Thanksgiving!

[tyler43836]

I made it through Thanksgiving! Had plenty of LC stuff to eat, so I got through the day with no problem. The only temptation was the cornbread stuffing. I did have a bite. HAD to taste it! But that was enough.

Here's my next challenge. Going to Atlantic City for 3 days. DBF is playing in a poker tournament. Leaving Sunday afternoon and coming back Tuesday night. I plan on taking so LC snacks along and I can usually do pretty well if I stick to the buffet type eateries so I can load up on the meat and salads.

My goal for today is to up my water intake. I really haven't been drinking near enough water.

[tyler43836]

Guess I missed a day...
Didn't do bad yesterday, stayed on plan but I over ate. Really grumpy too!

I'm off to Atlantic City today. I'll work hard at not cheating with food. Not having a drink or two? Well...I wish I could say I won't but I'd be lying to myself.