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Old 03-25-2012, 07:36 AM   #241
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you're not eating enough IMHO. And you need a bit more fat because you are working out. You should have eaten the salmon with the oil, salmon is a fatty fish anyway, and had the salad dressing. Your appetite would have been sated and you could have enjoyed yourself.
Sometimes it takes a lifetime to learn to love and forgive yourself.

I'm pretty much an optimist so not prone to bouts of depression. Although that corresponds directly in most people to their weight and self image.

Never wait on a man, unless he is on top or behind you! That will only feed your self loathing and poor self esteem.

Each day is a new beginning to be the best you can be. To YOURRSELF. Seeking approv al from others is a self fulfilling prophecy for failure.
When you can be good to yourself and like who you are only then can you be good to others.
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look in the mirror and smile at the hottie looking back!
Mim, we could use your help and wisdom here...........
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Old 03-25-2012, 07:50 AM   #242
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Do you treat yourself as well as you treat your friends and family?

That simple question is the basis for a burgeoning new area of psychological research called self-compassion — how kindly people view themselves. People who find it easy to be supportive and understanding to others, it turns out, often score surprisingly low on self-compassion tests, berating themselves for perceived failures like being overweight or not exercising.

The research suggests that giving ourselves a break and accepting our imperfections may be the first step toward better health. People who score high on tests of self-compassion have less depression and anxiety, and tend to be happier and more optimistic. Preliminary data suggest that self-compassion can even influence how much we eat and may help some people lose weight.

Go Easy on Yourself, a New Wave of Research Urges - NYTimes.com
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Old 03-25-2012, 07:51 AM   #243
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•Write down how much time in a 24-hour period you label yourself in a demeaning or derogatory way. Many people with binge eating problems refuse to nurture and respect their bodies and themselves until they lose the weight. However, beating yourself up and demeaning yourself is not the way to build up your self-esteem and confidence. What feels better, praise or criticism? If you think the way to lose weight is by criticizing yourself, look at who in your life taught you that. If you want something from other people, you need to start giving it to yourself first.




Stop Binge Eating The Solutions Weigh
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Old 03-25-2012, 10:22 AM   #244
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Thank u all for responding I'm going to take Each thing u have all said and be proactive in figuring out what exactly CC girl I appreciate all that u have said
And will look into my life and try and figure out what exactly deep
Within me has caused me to use food
This ways.

Danielle
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Old 03-25-2012, 11:14 AM   #245
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Old 03-25-2012, 11:29 AM   #246
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I agree so much with what CC said. So very much wisdom there. Self compassion is a difficult concept for some. It was harder for me when I was in my 20's and 30's. I was a perfectionist and could never forgive myself for any mistake.

No longer do I have "expiration dates" when it comes to goal setting.

Yes, I get specific and yes I have a plan. I work hard at it and then any reward I get is cause for celebration.

Last year I would have loved, loved, loved to lose 45 pounds in a year. Heck, I started out thinking 1 pound per week would be my goal and I would end up 52 pounds lighter. LOL. I actually thought that would heal me of my quick fix mentality. I used to say "I'm going to lose 5 pounds per week until I reach my goal."

Well, I ended up losing 28 pounds by the end of December, NOT 52!! Surprisingly I was thrilled with myself. It was a struggle and a learning process. I lost 10 pounds early in the year and then put 9 back on when my brother died and a whole bunch of other stuff caused stress and upheaval in my life. They don't call it "comfort food" for nothing!

Then at the end of July this burst of determination came from somewhere, I'm not sure where, and I knew I really, really needed to start fresh and be happy with whatever I could accomplish.

When I finally let go of unrealistic expectations and adopted a new "I will do what I can" attitude, success started to follow.

I'm becoming more of a student of my body and my soul now. I'm actually a bit self protective if you get what I mean.

Danielle, a little introspection is good but self-condemnation is not. There is a learning curve to this whole weight loss game. Think of it this way: when my kids were little, I did not beat them up when I was trying to teach them to tie their sneakers!!!

They tried and failed and tried and failed. But I patiently loved them through the process.

You need to teach yourself to make better choices and not think that one slip will send you rolling down the hill you are trying to climb.
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Old 03-25-2012, 11:32 AM   #247
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PsychDoc where are you..........

for years I had on fat goggles b/c my father and step father would call me fat and harp on weight loss........only to look at old pictures and gasp 'who is that skinny kid?'

no loss of baggage here, runn, the sooner you can forgive those responsible for your apparent lack of self esteem the better.....

but ultimately we have to forgive ourselves and find the love
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Old 03-25-2012, 11:34 AM   #248
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wow Yam you rock the inspiration

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Old 03-25-2012, 11:37 AM   #249
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overcast and raw today, in the 40Fs today, so I decided it is a good soup day. Literally have a cauldron on the stove of chicken soup. I could fit a small dog in the pot, seriously



HEY!
Runn, not knowing how to cook is going to be part of a failed plan. You have to know what is in your food! You must start cooking! Processed and premade is why nations are abound with the obese.
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Old 03-25-2012, 11:40 AM   #250
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I remember one of the many times I was doing Stillman's diet and I had been perfect 100% for 9 days. I was making dinner for DH and I had steamed some fresh brussel sprouts to go with his steak.

They looked soooooo good but I had it in my brain that if I ate any, it would be "cheating" on the diet.

I ate my steak and cottage cheese. Later when I was cleaning the kitchen, there were the leftover brussel sprouts. I could not resist and popped one in my mouth.

That night I could hardly sleep because I was so mad at myself. Stillman is so strict in his book that he says one miner cheat, even a stick of gum, will set you back days and stop your weight loss.

The next morning after not sleeping (in fact I think I stayed up late exercising) the scale did not go down. I blamed it on the cheat with one brussel sprout and got totally derailed. I ate junk all day and that was the end of my diet for quite a while.

Knowing what I know now about nutrition, that craving was my body telling me about something it needed! Non-starchy, green veggies. I should have had a whole plate full of those brussel sprouts! And, it would have kept me on track. If I had only given myself permission for that very healthy "cheat" I could have gone back to eating protein until my body needed more veggies.

These days I don't beat myself much if I have a meal that is off plan. Especially if it's a celebration or holiday or something. I just consider it a break from climbing the hill. I'll get to the top and the view will be grand.

I just don't have to reach the top by a certain date. And one meal off my plan does not have to send me rolling back down the hill, eating up all the progress I've already made.

Please try to be as gentle with yourself as you would be with someone else, OK?? Big hugs to you!
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Old 03-25-2012, 12:00 PM   #251
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Old 03-25-2012, 12:02 PM   #252
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hey I'm another NYer, I'm from S. Westchester I'm starting Stillman's tomorrow, I've been doing great on my exercise plan and I just want to make sure I drop some serious lbs/inches for the final 30 days I'm kind of afraid to weigh in tho, lol, I might wait until after I stick to it for a week, although I'm curious to know if it's as effective for me as it's been for the others. dilemma dilemma.

Does anyone know if you can have MCT oil? I know it's a no no since it's not on the list, but it really helps with energy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by runnah262 View Post
HEYYYY everyone! Can i say that i freakin LOVE this board?? and all of you are awesome!!!!!!!!!

CCGirl: I'm from NY too!! i Live on Long Island...btw today was HOT they had to turn the AC on in our office building hahaha...

Yam Yam: what you are saying about jeans is SO TRUE the cutest jeans are always in sizes that aren't plus i dont know what is up with that???? but thats awesome that you are down to a size 12 you defintely have inspired me to stick it out and make life style changes!!

My bag: is also a robin egg / turquoise blue color its a blingy kathy vanzland bag...

Ok so i'm such a newbie on here and such a newbie to this diet.heres a question since the weekend is approaching..how do you guys NOT fall into a trap of falling off the bandwagon?? Eating out isnt so much my problem its more eating when bored/ watching tv/computer...any suggestions?? should i just boil ike a dozen eggs for emergencies???

all of your help is greatly apperciated!!!!!

xoxoxox

danielle
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Old 03-25-2012, 02:01 PM   #253
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Does anyone know if you're allowed to have lemon in your water? I'm trying to quite Diet Dr. Pepper, and I figure this would be a safe compromise. I know diet drinks are okay, but I heard fake sugars can cause issues. I was thinking of transitioning to Crystal Light, but I feel like isn't the same thing, or is it better since it's not carbonated?
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Old 03-25-2012, 03:56 PM   #254
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CCGirl View Post
overcast and raw today, in the 40Fs today, so I decided it is a good soup day. Literally have a cauldron on the stove of chicken soup. I could fit a small dog in the pot, seriously



HEY!
Runn, not knowing how to cook is going to be part of a failed plan. You have to know what is in your food! You must start cooking! Processed and premade is why nations are abound with the obese.
CCGIRL---

I usually eat just Boarshead low salt turkey & chicken breast, hard boiled eggs, and omlets (thats the only thing i know how to cook)...i know Boarshead has no fillers or nitrates, in teh summmers i usually have 90% lean burgers (my parents buy teh burgers - i cant afford that expensive of meat) i thought that it would be okay to eat boarshead meats???

i usually have 1/4 lb for lunch, sometimes 1/4 for breakfast and than 1/2 lb for dinner of either turkey/chicken...
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Old 03-25-2012, 04:06 PM   #255
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PsychDoc where are you..........

for years I had on fat goggles b/c my father and step father would call me fat and harp on weight loss........only to look at old pictures and gasp 'who is that skinny kid?'

no loss of baggage here, runn, the sooner you can forgive those responsible for your apparent lack of self esteem the better.....

but ultimately we have to forgive ourselves and find the love
Thank you for your help i greatly apperciate your words i have done better today and will continue on strict stillmans i have reliezed that i need to remove myself from my triggers (peanut butter==well i threw it out last time i caved, and junkfoods i have decided since i can't throw them out that i will eat somewhere other than my kitchen b/c thats where all the junk is!) I want to be a success story like all of you, i want to love myself and feel confident like i once was and so now i will pick myself up from bootstraps and carry on...and lose this weight once and for all and live a healthy lifestyle......


I will lose 30 pounds by this wedding and if not 30 pounds i 'll lose inches and feel absoutly amazing...i am going to give up all diet drink as well, drinking only water, eating only proteins (obviously follow stillmans by the book), i'm going to literally eat just eggs and meat, maybe the occasional powerade zero (when i run i need soem sort of electrolytes)

I am ready to feel good about myself, lose this weight and never let a man determine myself worth....


i will be posting a lot ...keeping you guys informed multiple times a day


THANK YOU AGAIN!
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Old 03-25-2012, 04:30 PM   #256
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I agree so much with what CC said. So very much wisdom there. Self compassion is a difficult concept for some. It was harder for me when I was in my 20's and 30's. I was a perfectionist and could never forgive myself for any mistake.

No longer do I have "expiration dates" when it comes to goal setting.

Yes, I get specific and yes I have a plan. I work hard at it and then any reward I get is cause for celebration.

Last year I would have loved, loved, loved to lose 45 pounds in a year. Heck, I started out thinking 1 pound per week would be my goal and I would end up 52 pounds lighter. LOL. I actually thought that would heal me of my quick fix mentality. I used to say "I'm going to lose 5 pounds per week until I reach my goal."

Well, I ended up losing 28 pounds by the end of December, NOT 52!! Surprisingly I was thrilled with myself. It was a struggle and a learning process. I lost 10 pounds early in the year and then put 9 back on when my brother died and a whole bunch of other stuff caused stress and upheaval in my life. They don't call it "comfort food" for nothing!

Then at the end of July this burst of determination came from somewhere, I'm not sure where, and I knew I really, really needed to start fresh and be happy with whatever I could accomplish.

When I finally let go of unrealistic expectations and adopted a new "I will do what I can" attitude, success started to follow.

I'm becoming more of a student of my body and my soul now. I'm actually a bit self protective if you get what I mean.

Danielle, a little introspection is good but self-condemnation is not. There is a learning curve to this whole weight loss game. Think of it this way: when my kids were little, I did not beat them up when I was trying to teach them to tie their sneakers!!!

They tried and failed and tried and failed. But I patiently loved them through the process.

You need to teach yourself to make better choices and not think that one slip will send you rolling down the hill you are trying to climb.

Thank you for your words of wisdom, and for really helping me feel like i'm not alone in this. From this point forward i will begin to adjust my attitude and stop this black/white thinking that i have going on. Hey 28 pounds is a lot of weight so don't you dare sell yourself short!~!!!

What you had mentioned about the deadline goal setting thing defintely applies to me i feel like i know i only have 1 month and i think its making me nervous and when i get nervous i tend to binge and say to myself "ugh i'll never make it so whatever" .. ok danielle now i need to stop with the negative tell myself to just stop, and relax LOL

From here on out Yam Yam, CCgirl, Mim.... i will follow strict stillmans and i will lose this weight and i will adjust my attitude , b/c all of you have proven to me that anything you put ur mind to you can do ... I'm ready, i'm motivated i'm going to stay motivated & i am going to do this...now lets fill up our water bottles....and i now vow to lose the weight & keep it off all with a big smile on my face.



thank you ALL!


Danielle
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Old 03-25-2012, 04:54 PM   #257
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Quote:
Originally Posted by runnah262 View Post
Thank you for your words of wisdom, and for really helping me feel like i'm not alone in this. From this point forward i will begin to adjust my attitude and stop this black/white thinking that i have going on. Hey 28 pounds is a lot of weight so don't you dare sell yourself short!~!!!

What you had mentioned about the deadline goal setting thing defintely applies to me i feel like i know i only have 1 month and i think its making me nervous and when i get nervous i tend to binge and say to myself "ugh i'll never make it so whatever" .. ok danielle now i need to stop with the negative tell myself to just stop, and relax LOL

From here on out Yam Yam, CCgirl, Mim.... i will follow strict stillmans and i will lose this weight and i will adjust my attitude , b/c all of you have proven to me that anything you put ur mind to you can do ... I'm ready, i'm motivated i'm going to stay motivated & i am going to do this...now lets fill up our water bottles....and i now vow to lose the weight & keep it off all with a big smile on my face.



thank you ALL!


Danielle
Here's the thing - our bodies, even on strict Stills will loose at the rate they lose. Setting a date goal is not good. Be happy with any loss when you are doing your best. Remember this - the bride wants you in her wedding. YOU as you are. She didn't pick you because of the way you look, she picked you because of you! Learn to cook. It seems to me that having some cooking skills will help you in many ways. As you build self-confidence, being able to take care of yourself by cooking for yourself is a good thing! You can't live your life on lunchmeat, no matter how pure it is. And remember that you are loved.
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Old 03-25-2012, 04:58 PM   #258
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krissakris View Post
hey I'm another NYer, I'm from S. Westchester I'm starting Stillman's tomorrow, I've been doing great on my exercise plan and I just want to make sure I drop some serious lbs/inches for the final 30 days I'm kind of afraid to weigh in tho, lol, I might wait until after I stick to it for a week, although I'm curious to know if it's as effective for me as it's been for the others. dilemma dilemma.

Does anyone know if you can have MCT oil? I know it's a no no since it's not on the list, but it really helps with energy.


You will love it here! I don't know anything about MCT oil so can't answer that, but I sometimes have a slice of lemon in my water and it doesn't affect me.
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Old 03-25-2012, 05:28 PM   #259
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Thanks! and I love all the positive self-talk, I remember when I tried to do Stillman's a few years ago I just wasn't in the best place mentally and didn't last a few days. I'm so pumped now, I slowly kicked the bad stuff so I won't have to worry about the cravings. I have the book, so I'm going to speed read it again, but I can't wait to get started. I'm going to miss my fats, but I can stick with anything for a month. The first goal is to get back in my jeans, I'm in them now, but they feel like they could split at any moment, haha.

Is anyone else working out??
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Old 03-25-2012, 05:41 PM   #260
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Thanks mim!

I am not only doing
It to look good as a bridesmaid I
Want to do this for myself and be happy
With my relflection
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Old 03-25-2012, 05:42 PM   #261
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krissakris View Post
Thanks! and I love all the positive self-talk, I remember when I tried to do Stillman's a few years ago I just wasn't in the best place mentally and didn't last a few days. I'm so pumped now, I slowly kicked the bad stuff so I won't have to worry about the cravings. I have the book, so I'm going to speed read it again, but I can't wait to get started. I'm going to miss my fats, but I can stick with anything for a month. The first goal is to get back in my jeans, I'm in them now, but they feel like they could split at any moment, haha.

Is anyone else working out??


What is MCT oil?? (feeling dumb!)

I had been working out with a personal trainer for about 4 months until my second brother died in February and that kind of blew me out of the water. I maintained my weight loss and did not gain at all during February which I thought was a major accomplishment with traveling to the other side of the country and all the tempting comfort food.

but I did pull back on the exercise. I think I've been grieving big time and just needed to let my body, heart and brain heal. Plus, the pounds have started dropping again and I know when I start lifting weights I always see the number on the scale go up.

I keep telling myself I can't handle that right now 'cos I'm so friggin' happy with the numbers going down!

but I have also decided that I'm going to start working out again and it will either be the end of this week or the beginning of next and I will just dive in with cardio and weights. I'll probably workout on my own the first week and then get back with my trainer for a few brush up sessions because she is amazing.

But I know the muscles hold on to water when they are repairing, so I just gotta get ready to see a gradual 5 pound gain after the first week. Oh well. Once the muscles are firm and built back up, it will start going back down.

And I know it's not fat, just water! Stupid scale!

Last edited by Yam-Yam; 03-25-2012 at 05:43 PM..
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Old 03-25-2012, 05:46 PM   #262
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Krissa: Is the avatar you before and after????? If so, that's amazing and I'm so proud of you!
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Old 03-25-2012, 06:17 PM   #263
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welvome Krisaa! your avi is amazing! I am up near Lake George!

IMHO any oil is good energy for those of you working out. Remember, strict Stills does not require excersize, the pounds really do just fall off.

I osed to walk/run 2 miles a day during the weekdays but with DH being semi retired and winter I don't until it's at least 38F in the mornings.

O MIM good post!

Runn, your attitude is not a switch you can turn on and off, it's a learning process. Take the first steps into really seeing what bashing yourself is really doing to you and maybe you can forgive that someone who led you to loathing.
Hope, faith and learning to see the glass half full are things you need to learn. Nobody got thin beating themselves up and cursing their existance. Each day is a new one and sweep the bad days into the past. We are here for you, but only the cheering section. You can do it. We've all been there and we pulled out of it. There is hope and there is a light at the end.
So here's to finding and being light! (raises glass)
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Old 03-25-2012, 08:46 PM   #264
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Hope, faith and learning to see the glass half full are things you need to learn. Nobody got thin beating themselves up and cursing their existance. Each day is a new one and sweep the bad days into the past. We are here for you, but only the cheering section. You can do it. We've all been there and we pulled out of it. There is hope and there is a light at the end.
So here's to finding and being light! (raises glass)
bottoms up!!!!! Fer sure!!!!!!!!!: goodpost:

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Old 03-25-2012, 08:49 PM   #265
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Ha!!!!! Still trying the picture thingie. Still not working!!!!!!!!

[IMG]picture champagne glasses clip art[/IMG]

Last edited by Yam-Yam; 03-25-2012 at 08:51 PM..
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Old 03-25-2012, 08:51 PM   #266
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[IMG]picture champagne glasses clip art[/IMG]
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Old 03-25-2012, 08:53 PM   #267
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CC!!!!! Click on that link and do it for me pleeeeeeeeaaaaasssseeee!!!!!
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Old 03-26-2012, 02:46 AM   #268
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Thanks
Ladies !!!!!!!!!!!!

Here we go time to do this hardcore this is
My day Plan:

I did some weight lifting , I feel pretty bottom heavy and now have like a belly from that weekend binge mess so I am not going to run bc I don't like the feeling of things jiggling I have to give it a day. I will be kickboxing tonight which also makes me feel fat but the caloric burn I need so I'll deal!!!!!


Breakfast: 1 hardboiled Egg @ 6:30am

7aM: Go to work and seat all day I'll just sip water until lunch

Lunch (1PM): eat 1/4 lb turkey breast + 2 Hardboiled Egg whites

Leave work at 5;30 get to kickboxing at 6 and kickbox from 6pm-7pm

Than I will go to the deli and get 1/2 on chicken breast,
Go home shower, eat chicken , guzzle water.. So dinner is at like 8ish

How about that!!!
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Old 03-26-2012, 12:17 PM   #269
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Danielle: Just make sure you have lots of good back up food in case you need it. You definitely don't want to be hungry and get tempted by anything off plan. Why don't you pick up some lean beef?? You can get some in the deli I would imagine. For me, I lose really well when I include lean beef like a sirloin steak now and then.

If you buy a nice fresh lean sirloin, you could grill it. Do you have a George Foreman grill? If not, you should buy yourself a small one. I have the small one and it's perfect for me. I bought it at CVS pharmacy.

You just heat it up and when the red light goes off, toss the steak on and close it. Set your timer for about 7 to 8 minutes. Take the steak off and put it on a plate and let it set for a few minutes before you slice it. This will definitely keep you happy for a while.

I don't even put any seasoning or steak rub on mine. It tastes great just as is.
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Old 03-26-2012, 04:51 PM   #270
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Yam, that ype of image you would have to download then attach as a thumbnail.

use Google image search

click on the one you liike

click on full size image

copy and paste the web address of the full size image when it loads
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