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Old 08-25-2011, 02:44 AM   #571
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Hello, I am not in the best of way at the moment. Over six weeks ago I found a lump in my neck. The rule is to wait at least that length of time before testing as mostly enlarged glands are due to an infection of some sort. Anyway, mine did not go down so I went to my GP who is concerned and has arranged for some tests to be done. Thing is my sister (we share the same father) had lymphoma when she was 29. She kept going to the doctors and they kept telling her that there was nothing wrong but she kept insisting that she did not feel right. Five doctors later and as many months they found that she did have cancer. By this time it had spread to most of her glands. She went through chemo and had the glands removed and so far the cancer has not returned. However, she has been told that because they got the cancer at a late stage and because she is so young it will, at some point in her life come back and when it does it will come back with a vengeance and there will be nothing they can do for her. My doc said lymphoma runs in families, so here I sit, a bag of nerves. Anyway, I screwed up my diet that day...I ate everything and anything naughty...even had a few shots of brandy...OK maybe more than a few...figured if I'm gonna go, I gonna go fat and happy. Today though, I'm back on track... lean meat, salad and a little light cheese and of course lots of water. Sorry for the depressing post... CC, DD has put a lot of stuff on Ebay for me...Think we have listed 17 items and counting.
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Old 08-25-2011, 02:49 AM   #572
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Originally Posted by CCGirl View Post
yep same thing, can ye not order them from Amazon??????


naw, the texture isn't close to real pasta, thank goodness for Dreamfields!



I would do faux ramen with the miracle shiritaki noodles........




well, it's almost movie time babes; I have the Bourne Trilogy stashed for himself, he's never seen them.

Tomorrow is a big hunter gatherer day as mum is coming and demands loads of fresh produce.....I will go to the chav Price Right where you bring your own bags.....so ghetto....but then again I am soooo cheeeeeeeeeap......I have to keep her on maintenance as she is now a 6 and can't afford to lose more weight. Please report any butt increasing excersizes as she has no caboose!

and please report any butt reducing ideas for myself
No, you can not get the ones mixed with tofu due to transportation probs. They need to be kept refrigerated.
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Old 08-25-2011, 02:55 AM   #573
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I made the shirataki noodles, soy sauce, EZ Sweets, and chicken... but added sriracha sauce... it was DELISH!!! YUM!

Are there different types of shirataki? Mine tasted soooo much like noodles... they were maybe a bit tougher after boiling, but other than that, I think it was a perfect noodle substitute.
Yes you can get ones that are made with tofu, they are said to be much like the real thing but we can't get them in the UK.
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Old 08-25-2011, 04:29 AM   #574
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Hi peeps! Quick hello. Don't really feel chatty. I'm really struggling. I'm not really eating that much off plan-but there are temptations everywhere. I've eaten bites of things-literally mouthfulls-nothing more. And I know I can't blow up with what I'm eating-really I do, it's just I feel completely and utterly out of control. I am working out most days-though again nowhere near as much as I'd like. Tonight I really struggled-dunno, I just feel huge-again I really do know I couldn't be. But it really is the thinner I get, the fatter I feel. It's the most pathetic thing-I was reading a celeb mag about how x and y had dropped like 30lbs in 6 weeks. Then I looked around and saw that 'everyone' was thinner than me. I just wanted to stick my fingers down my throat-the only thing that stopped me was my Mum was with me and I couldn't shake her off. I came home and my other half was there so I couldn't. Ye have no idea how badly I wanted it-i wanted the 'release' --even though I feel completely pathetic and a failure when I do. I just feel so stressed and wound up the whole time. I know it's stupid-I have no reason to at all. I find I just can't relax at all now-I can't sleep-in, I can't sit still and watch TV-I just keep thinking I'm burning no calories. I hear myself and know it's stupid-I just can't seem to stop-It's driving me crazy-and I know it's driving my family mad too. I just went to bed a while ago because I couldn't stick it any longer.
Going shopping tomorrow so that should chear me up----but what am I thinking???? No working out time and what will the restaurant that we're going to serve?? God, I know it's crazy!!! And I know I'm biting my Mum's head off the whole time/I can't even concentrate on what she's saying cos I'm thinking will she ever leave? I wanna work out. And that's not fair at all. It's totally and utterly selfish.
Sorry for the rant, I just really needed to let off steam.
Sorry to hear this GT... I can relate, I once weighed seven stone 10lbs which is crazy for someone of my height. I too worked out and the more people told me I was too thin the more I got a buzz...If I thought I was gaining I would chuck up. Then one day I was at a friends house and I caught a glimpse of myself in her mirror...I was wearing a long black dress. I looked so ridiculous, no backside at all and my bones were sticking out all over the place. Don't know why I never noticed before. I felt so embarrassed walking from her house to mine, really conscious. It took forever trying to put the weight back on...I remember I could not sleep on my side because the bones in my legs would dig in to each other, I even lost fat from the soles of my feet. Today I still sometimes throw up...not often, maybe as little as 4 or five times a year, then I realise what I am doing and where it will lead and I stop. I am not trying to make this about me, but just trying to make you know that I have been there and I know how you feel. It is a problem GT and it has the potential of spiraling way out of control...nip it in the bud before things get really bad. You are not fat GT, you just feel fat. If you want to be lighter fine but be realistic and don't go beyond it. Working out excessively is pretty much the same as throwing up if you know what I mean. If you over do it your body will go in to starvation mode and you know what happens then. You have done so well losing the weight, don't be afraid that you will put it all back on, I don't believe you will. I really don't believe that Stillman's is a diet forever and I also believe that when one stops Stillmans and starts eating a healthy balanced diet they will gain a little while the body gets use to eating carbs again (I'm talking healthy carbs here) and realises that it is no longer in starvation mode, coz let's face the fact, Stillman's can be pretty low in calories and was not designed for the long term. This is why I plan to lose 6 or 7lb below my goal weight. I hate that you are feeling bad especially because you have worked so hard...I hope you don't mind me saying this but you are showing all the signs of an eating disorder and like I said, I've been there, so I know. My advice (I know you did not ask for it) is to limit your exercise to a reasonable amount each week. Never throw up, no matter how bad you feel and make sure you get enough calories in, so that your body does not think its starving...might be worth thinking about some form of counselling. Hope you don't hate me for this.

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Old 08-25-2011, 04:47 AM   #575
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Just realised that the fur bag I put on Ebay is Springbock fur and retails close to two hundred pounds It was a present from South Africa and I have had messages from a buyer from France and other places to allow buyers from outside the UK to bid, now I know why!!! I was going to take it to the charity shop too!
CC, I have some kate Moss jean shorts...interested???

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Old 08-25-2011, 07:03 AM   #576
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Originally Posted by Getting there!!! View Post
Hi peeps! Quick hello. Don't really feel chatty. I'm really struggling. I'm not really eating that much off plan-but there are temptations everywhere. I've eaten bites of things-literally mouthfulls-nothing more. And I know I can't blow up with what I'm eating-really I do, it's just I feel completely and utterly out of control. I am working out most days-though again nowhere near as much as I'd like. Tonight I really struggled-dunno, I just feel huge-again I really do know I couldn't be. But it really is the thinner I get, the fatter I feel. It's the most pathetic thing-I was reading a celeb mag about how x and y had dropped like 30lbs in 6 weeks. Then I looked around and saw that 'everyone' was thinner than me. I just wanted to stick my fingers down my throat-the only thing that stopped me was my Mum was with me and I couldn't shake her off. I came home and my other half was there so I couldn't. Ye have no idea how badly I wanted it-i wanted the 'release' --even though I feel completely pathetic and a failure when I do. I just feel so stressed and wound up the whole time. I know it's stupid-I have no reason to at all. I find I just can't relax at all now-I can't sleep-in, I can't sit still and watch TV-I just keep thinking I'm burning no calories. I hear myself and know it's stupid-I just can't seem to stop-It's driving me crazy-and I know it's driving my family mad too. I just went to bed a while ago because I couldn't stick it any longer.
Going shopping tomorrow so that should chear me up----but what am I thinking???? No working out time and what will the restaurant that we're going to serve?? God, I know it's crazy!!! And I know I'm biting my Mum's head off the whole time/I can't even concentrate on what she's saying cos I'm thinking will she ever leave? I wanna work out. And that's not fair at all. It's totally and utterly selfish.
Sorry for the rant, I just really needed to let off steam.
GT
I understand how you feel, I remember us talking about this a few months back on the chat boards.
Last month I actually found myself face down after a couple of slices of pizza...in the restroom..I told myself I felt so full and sick that it wouldnt stay down...but I think I was lying to myself...slowly getting pulled back into that crazy way I used to be.I like to think I can turn it on and off, but of course thats not true... I think even if we recover it doesnt ever really ever go away...its gonna be a long road for you, for me and everyone else out there struggling with it...not to mention the exercise and weight loss obsession, I think in a way its worse than even drugs or alcohol...my mind is constantly thinking about calories, exercise, fat grams, you name it..there are no easy answers for this type of situation...

-T
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Old 08-25-2011, 07:26 AM   #577
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Hello, I am not in the best of way at the moment. Over six weeks ago I found a lump in my neck. The rule is to wait at least that length of time before testing as mostly enlarged glands are due to an infection of some sort. Anyway, mine did not go down so I went to my GP who is concerned and has arranged for some tests to be done. Thing is my sister (we share the same father) had lymphoma when she was 29. She kept going to the doctors and they kept telling her that there was nothing wrong but she kept insisting that she did not feel right. Five doctors later and as many months they found that she did have cancer. By this time it had spread to most of her glands. She went through chemo and had the glands removed and so far the cancer has not returned. However, she has been told that because they got the cancer at a late stage and because she is so young it will, at some point in her life come back and when it does it will come back with a vengeance and there will be nothing they can do for her. My doc said lymphoma runs in families, so here I sit, a bag of nerves. Anyway, I screwed up my diet that day...I ate everything and anything naughty...even had a few shots of brandy...OK maybe more than a few...figured if I'm gonna go, I gonna go fat and happy. Today though, I'm back on track... lean meat, salad and a little light cheese and of course lots of water. Sorry for the depressing post... CC, DD has put a lot of stuff on Ebay for me...Think we have listed 17 items and counting.
I hope it turns out to be nothing serious. "You have cancer" is the scariest thing a person can hear. I hope you never have to hear it.

I had cervical cancer 5 years ago. I told my husband if it ever comes back I am going to start smoking again and eat anything and everything I want, whenever I want.
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Old 08-25-2011, 07:31 AM   #578
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wow, it must be the moon phase, all of us are so bummed out there.......

it's almost crazy, I've been trying not to worry about health issues a lot lately.....a pain here, paranoia there.........
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Old 08-25-2011, 08:00 AM   #579
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I hope it turns out to be nothing serious. "You have cancer" is the scariest thing a person can hear. I hope you never have to hear it.

I had cervical cancer 5 years ago. I told my husband if it ever comes back I am going to start smoking again and eat anything and everything I want, whenever I want.
Thanks BrattyS. Wow that must have been scary for you, so glad you beat it. These things certainly make you see things differently don't they.
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Old 08-25-2011, 08:25 AM   #580
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Thanks BrattyS. Wow that must have been scary for you, so glad you beat it. These things certainly make you see things differently don't they.
Amen to that.........the big C is a big life changer.......blessings to us all today, seems we're all a bit low.........
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Old 08-25-2011, 09:34 AM   #581
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Thanks BrattyS. Wow that must have been scary for you, so glad you beat it. These things certainly make you see things differently don't they.
I was very very lucky. They caught it in the very early stages. I was pregnant and getting the work-up, pap etc. We did a couple procedures to try and slow it down that was safe for the pregnancy. Then it was a waiting game till the baby was born. 2 months after I delivered I had a hysterectomy. No chemo or radiation needed.
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Old 08-25-2011, 11:49 AM   #582
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I was very very lucky. They caught it in the very early stages. I was pregnant and getting the work-up, pap etc. We did a couple procedures to try and slow it down that was safe for the pregnancy. Then it was a waiting game till the baby was born. 2 months after I delivered I had a hysterectomy. No chemo or radiation needed.
wow, you were so brave and your baby sure was a blessing. I can't imagine what it must of been like having to wait so long. I had a parotid tumour removed in 2000, it was benign but had to come out as it was deep behind my ear. I had a fantastic surgeon who literally cut around my ear, lifted it up and went in that way and you would struggle to see the scar. There was a risk of facial paralysis but I was lucky as the nerve lay over the tumour so I only suffered temporary paralysis, which I did not mind coz I could only lift one eyebrow and I could never do that before. Thought it looked kind of sexy. I remember the waiting and the worrying before the surgery but I had my surgery soon after the biopsy, so I can only imagine what you must have gone through. You are one strong lady and proof that cancer is not necessarily a death sentence.
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Old 08-25-2011, 01:11 PM   #583
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whew......these stories are scary but inspiring......

on a scarier note I am trying to 'dry out' these days.......tired of feeling like he[[ each morning....

MMS nice action on that bag! your auctions look good. I see you may have overdone yourself on duvet covers........... can't stand the same old decor, eh?
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Old 08-25-2011, 02:09 PM   #584
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whew......these stories are scary but inspiring......

on a scarier note I am trying to 'dry out' these days.......tired of feeling like he[[ each morning....

MMS nice action on that bag! your auctions look good. I see you may have overdone yourself on duvet covers........... can't stand the same old decor, eh?
I know, I know! Daughter wrote all the listings...beautiful this and high quality that. Hope the bids go up soon...would hate to have to sell that bag for £2.50. Got lots of watchers...18 on the Cath Kidston sleeping bag but only one bid...hope they all come in at the last minute. I have a Cath Kidston hoodie and a A and F jean skirt to list tomorrow. Got the bug.
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Old 08-25-2011, 02:15 PM   #585
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whew......these stories are scary but inspiring......

on a scarier note I am trying to 'dry out' these days.......tired of feeling like he[[ each morning....

MMS nice action on that bag! your auctions look good. I see you may have overdone yourself on duvet covers........... can't stand the same old decor, eh?
I'm seriously thinking of quitting alcohol and going TT... it makes me feel crap the next day when I drink and like A K said, I'm allergic to alcohol, I break out in hand cuffs.
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Old 08-25-2011, 04:13 PM   #586
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I know, I know! Daughter wrote all the listings...beautiful this and high quality that. Hope the bids go up soon...would hate to have to sell that bag for £2.50. Got lots of watchers...18 on the Cath Kidston sleeping bag but only one bid...hope they all come in at the last minute. I have a Cath Kidston hoodie and a A and F jean skirt to list tomorrow. Got the bug.
If you want me to throw L50 at the bag I gladly will, it's L109 at the Africa works website.......
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Old 08-25-2011, 04:14 PM   #587
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I'm seriously thinking of quitting alcohol and going TT... it makes me feel crap the next day when I drink and like A K said, I'm allergic to alcohol, I break out in hand cuffs.
going TT.......translation? O and hancuffs I do my teetotaling safely at home
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Old 08-26-2011, 08:09 AM   #588
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happy Friday to all! In better spirit today I hope!
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Old 08-27-2011, 01:47 AM   #589
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Hello... Bank holiday weekend, weathers not looking that great but so far its dry, so that's a positive. Good news... DD got A*, B, B ( very high B's only a couple of marks of A's, sorry gotta brag a little) and got in to the uni of her choice. Also, God son made the GB Olympic boxing team.
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Old 08-27-2011, 08:04 AM   #590
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Feeling depressed today because hubby and I got into a fight yesterday. It was short-lived but painful. We are still not talking to each other; this almost never happens, and I don't know what to do except give him his space (???). Don't feel like eating, but I know I have to before I go to work today at 2. Hope you are all well, and I hope those of you along the east coast are safe and dry. So far, no rain from the hurrican yet, but the skies look ominous.
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Old 08-27-2011, 08:46 AM   #591
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Feeling depressed today because hubby and I got into a fight yesterday. It was short-lived but painful. We are still not talking to each other; this almost never happens, and I don't know what to do except give him his space (???). Don't feel like eating, but I know I have to before I go to work today at 2. Hope you are all well, and I hope those of you along the east coast are safe and dry. So far, no rain from the hurrican yet, but the skies look ominous.
Hi Vee... sorry you are down. I'm sure it will blow over soon. We all have our ups and downs... our house is a mad house. I've got a friend who has been married for about 14 years and they go through periods where they don't talk...I think they hold out to see who can go the longest...now I just can't do that...I have a problem with keeping my mouth shut, can't make it for even an hour. Hope everyone in the east coast are safe and dry too, we are thinking of you here in the UK.
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Old 08-27-2011, 09:33 AM   #592
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Hugs all around!! Hope everyone is safe and dry!
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Old 08-27-2011, 06:47 PM   #593
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1 42am... can't sleep... wondering when I become a blabber mouth. 803 posts to date, think I've got a way to go.
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Old 08-27-2011, 06:58 PM   #594
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Just read Hurricane Irene is due to hit New York in the early hours of Sunday...Think its a bit after 6pm Saturday there now. Also heard that it is showing signs of weakening. Keep Safe CC, thinking of you.

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Old 08-27-2011, 09:49 PM   #595
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whew......these stories are scary but inspiring......

on a scarier note I am trying to 'dry out' these days.......tired of feeling like he[[ each morning....

MMS nice action on that bag! your auctions look good. I see you may have overdone yourself on duvet covers........... can't stand the same old decor, eh?
Me, too. CC,. .Me, too. . .. .I've been actually pretty successful and think I have to finally face my demons. and figure out what I want. . I definately want a clear head in the morning. .


Makeme .I can't say anything . . except send huggs your way. . and prayers!! . Life is a scary thing. . I find myself feeling every lump and questioning every pain. . . Ugg. .

WOW. . the moon must be doing some stuff up there. . mis -aligning or something. .
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Old 08-27-2011, 09:50 PM   #596
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GT. . It is a crazy cycle. I wish I had some advice for you. . I struggle too. I do "bad" things and then beat myself up. and then start all over. . stupid cycle. .
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Old 08-27-2011, 09:54 PM   #597
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You guys are the best.. thank you for being there. . (even when I'm not)
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Old 08-28-2011, 02:08 AM   #598
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Me, too. CC,. .Me, too. . .. .I've been actually pretty successful and think I have to finally face my demons. and figure out what I want. . I definately want a clear head in the morning. .


Makeme .I can't say anything . . except send huggs your way. . and prayers!! . Life is a scary thing. . I find myself feeling every lump and questioning every pain. . . Ugg. .

WOW. . the moon must be doing some stuff up there. . mis -aligning or something. .
Sure must be! Thanks I'm 2.
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Old 08-28-2011, 06:32 AM   #599
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VeeH View Post
Feeling depressed today because hubby and I got into a fight yesterday. It was short-lived but painful. We are still not talking to each other; this almost never happens, and I don't know what to do except give him his space (???). Don't feel like eating, but I know I have to before I go to work today at 2. Hope you are all well, and I hope those of you along the east coast are safe and dry. So far, no rain from the hurricane yet, but the skies look ominous.
hang in there babe, like the hurricane, this too shall pass........
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Originally Posted by makemeslim View Post
Hi Vee... sorry you are down. I'm sure it will blow over soon. We all have our ups and downs... our house is a mad house. I've got a friend who has been married for about 14 years and they go through periods where they don't talk...I think they hold out to see who can go the longest...now I just can't do that...I have a problem with keeping my mouth shut, can't make it for even an hour. Hope everyone in the east coast are safe and dry too, we are thinking of you here in the UK.

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Originally Posted by Macc0021 View Post
Hugs all around!! Hope everyone is safe and dry!
safe so far, dry, not really.got soaked going out after the newspaper
Quote:
Originally Posted by makemeslim View Post
Just read Hurricane Irene is due to hit New York in the early hours of Sunday...Think its a bit after 6pm Saturday there now. Also heard that it is showing signs of weakening. Keep Safe CC, thinking of you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by IM2fat View Post
Me, too. CC,. .Me, too. . .. .I've been actually pretty successful and think I have to finally face my demons. and figure out what I want. . I definately want a clear head in the morning. .


Makeme .I can't say anything . . except send huggs your way. . and prayers!! . Life is a scary thing. . I find myself feeling every lump and questioning every pain. . . Ugg. .

WOW. . the moon must be doing some stuff up there. . mis -aligning or something. .
any advice would be appreciated......dinner is a new concept here with Mom around, it seems to be a good deterrent and I think I lost another pound to boot





Well, the power is still on, the rain is steady but not that heavy. Sustained winds in Albany are up to 25 MPH with gusts up to 40. We are about an hour and a half north of Albany, just west of Lake George. We are expecting higher gusts and winds because we're higher elevation. So the hurricane party has officially begun!
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Old 08-28-2011, 11:38 AM   #600
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Well, the power is still on.............HA HA AHAaaaaaaaa famous last words, it went out around an hour ago...we're on generator power.

upstate New York outages by county...


This screen provides a list of customers served, customers affected by power outage, and an estimate of
when power will be restored for each service area. Customers are encouraged to report an outage or to
check your status of a previously reported electric service problem.

Customers Affected /Customers Served /Estimated Restoration
ALBANY (NY) 18,851 135,067 Assessing Condition


ALLEGANY (NY) 19 7,121 Aug 28, 2:15 PM


CATTARAUGUS (NY) <5 31,532 Aug 28, 4:00 PM


CAYUGA (NY) 28 925 Aug 28, 3:00 PM


CHAUTAUQUA (NY) 0 40,779


CHENANGO (NY) 0 200


CLINTON (NY) 0 941


COLUMBIA (NY) 75 20,490 Assessing Condition


CORTLAND (NY) 5 18,177 Aug 28, 6:00 PM


ERIE (NY) 0 277,280


ESSEX (NY) 2,091 11,607 Assessing Condition


FRANKLIN (NY) <5 19,018 Assessing Condition


FULTON (NY) 6,626 28,713 Assessing Condition


GENESEE (NY) 0 26,580


HAMILTON (NY) 4,319 6,393 Assessing Condition


HERKIMER (NY) 3,665 24,145 Assessing Condition


JEFFERSON (NY) <5 55,254 Aug 28, 3:45 PM


LEWIS (NY) 237 14,132 Assessing Condition


LIVINGSTON (NY) 0 15,572


MADISON (NY) 0 23,429


MONROE (NY) 0 19,637


MONTGOMERY (NY) 4,324 23,468 Assessing Condition


NIAGARA (NY) <5 81,153 Assessing Condition


ONEIDA (NY) 306 96,931 Assessing Condition


ONONDAGA (NY) 143 191,575 Assessing Condition


ONTARIO (NY) 0 4,172


ORLEANS (NY) 99 18,241 Aug 28, 3:15 PM


OSWEGO (NY) 487 56,198 Assessing Condition


OTSEGO (NY) 1,170 3,720 Assessing Condition


RENSSELAER (NY) 1,799 63,109 Assessing Condition


SARATOGA (NY) 21,634 90,422 Assessing Condition


SCHENECTADY (NY) 18,458 69,266 Assessing Condition


SCHOHARIE (NY) 3,567 13,799 Assessing Condition


ST. LAWRENCE (NY) 127 43,096 Aug 28, 4:15 PM


WARREN (NY) 11,213 41,794 Assessing Condition


WASHINGTON (NY) 3,941 24,650 Assessing Condition


WYOMING (NY) 0 3,444

TOTAL 103,193 customers out of 1,602,030 served
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