Dropping in December on Stillman’s Snowy Sleigh Ride!

[Getting there!!!]

Originally Posted by aleriaaa

Very interesting points to ponder. I dont think I have this emotional side with food. Im just a big eater. I love to eat! Its very physical. Love to chew! Love to smell! Everything tastes too good! I dont know when Im hungry and when I stop being hungry. I am missing that part of my brain! I dont like to stop until I feel full (or stuffed) Maybe I should ask myself, is this good for me before I bite, but the answer will always be who gives a crap! as I stuff it in my face!

Oh Al, I'm actually laughing out loud!!!!!!!!! Not at you, you know I'm not but that was funny!!!!!!!!
You know what as weird as it sounds I don't actually enjoy food---I know if I didn't how come I became 250lbs!!! I dunno. It's always been a guilt thing. It's always been about control-even as a teenager it was the only thing I could control. It's always been about not being good or perfect enough--small enough, pretty enough, whatever enough, and when I put weight on I think I just gave up thought yeah everyone is right, so I just didn't care anymore. I just couldn't cope with getting fatter and the more unhappy I bevcaame the more I ate.
I've never eaten because I was happy. I don't like to eat in front of people . I hate going to restaurants. I can tell you the cals and fat content-and now the carbs- of anything! I'm obsessed, seriously!! I know it!! Even now. Even with the exercise. I don't feel in control until I have done what I wanted to do in a day. If I'm working really long hours and then we're going out after or something my first thought is when will I exercise or will I have to eat something off plan. I would give anything to have a healthy relationship with food and see it as a good thing--and that is the God's honest truth. It's like I can get a grip on everything else in life (well kinda!!) why can't I get this!!!!!! I'm nearly 30 and why haven't I got it under control!!

[Getting there!!!]

Ok now I've just been rambling!! But ya know it kills me, it kills me every day to work out this much and to eat the tuna and the chicken and blah--and still not to be stick thin...yes I want to be stick thin. And because I can't achieve that it is a struggle to not eat everything in site and then go and stick my fingers down my throat. And then ya know what we're back to why QWL works the best---because of the control!!Now I'm gonna shut up.

[Getting there!!!]

Originally Posted by becky123abc

I'm going to be referring back to these posts for reinforcement!! It is fascinating to me to read your thoughts, struggles, accomplishments...so very helpful!

Oh gosh--don't refer back to me. I wish I had the answers!!

[aleriaaa]

Originally Posted by Getting there!!!

Oh Al, I'm actually laughing out loud!!!!!!!!! Not at you, you know I'm not but that was funny!!!!!!!!
You know what as weird as it sounds I don't actually enjoy food---I know if I didn't how come I became 250lbs!!! I dunno. It's always been a guilt thing. It's always been about control-even as a teenager it was the only thing I could control. It's always been about not being good or perfect enough--small enough, pretty enough, whatever enough, and when I put weight on I think I just gave up thought yeah everyone is right, so I just didn't care anymore. I just couldn't cope with getting fatter and the more unhappy I bevcaame the more I ate.
I've never eaten because I was happy. I don't like to eat in front of people . I hate going to restaurants. I can tell you the cals and fat content-and now the carbs- of anything! I'm obsessed, seriously!! I know it!! Even now. Even with the exercise. I don't feel in control until I have done what I wanted to do in a day. If I'm working really long hours and then we're going out after or something my first thought is when will I exercise or will I have to eat something off plan. I would give anything to have a healthy relationship with food and see it as a good thing--and that is the God's honest truth. It's like I can get a grip on everything else in life (well kinda!!) why can't I get this!!!!!! I'm nearly 30 and why haven't I got it under control!!

Yes it does sound weird to say you dont like food that much but I love you anyway!!!

I can relate a bit. But not to the exercise! (oh I wish I could though) If I were still going out a lot and getting together with friends, it would be much more difficult to maintain this lifestyle. Ansering the questions of what kind of diet are you on this time, or so what are you allowed to eat? Im sick of those questions but its the truth. How many diets have I been on?!? I only like to eat in front of people when Im skinny because Im embarrassed to eat when Im fat! (Like coworkers might say..look at her stuffing her face, does she really need that?!) This is really odd for me to think because I dont look at others this way so why would they think of me like that?

And the gotta be perfect, why cant I look like a celebrity, yup. thats me. Always wanting to look best, work the best, be the best. Always needed the "A"!!! Dont want anyone to think badly of me, and Im sensitve and get my feelings hurt way to easily. Oh. and Im a worrier to top all that!

I have to say, in all my crazy years of dieting and juggling the pounds, eliminating the carbs was the easiest plan for me to follow and it truly eliminated a lot of my possibly whacky thoughts. Some of these things I just mentioned are starting to come to the surface again, so I have to nip it in the bud!!!

I wish you could find your secret, GT.

[aleriaaa]

Are your legs muscular or squishy?

[Getting there!!!]

Originally Posted by aleriaaa

Yes it does sound weird to say you dont like food that much but I love you anyway!!!

Well now admittedly I do like .....chocolate!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's not really that i don't like food really--it's what it represents!

[aleriaaa]

and just so your not the only one answering the question, my calves have a big muscle surrounded by squishy, and my thighs are all droopping squish.

I dont know why Im asking, but maybe the muscles from the exercise are keeping you from the look you want? I dont know anything about this topic though, I just want to try to help.

[Getting there!!!]

Originally Posted by aleriaaa

(Like coworkers might say..look at her stuffing her face, does she really need that?!) This is really odd for me to think because I dont look at others this way so why would they think of me like that?

I agree! I think that about myself but not really of others. I mostly think....look at that skinny bee eating that---the world is ill divided!!!!!!!

[Getting there!!!]

Originally Posted by aleriaaa

And the gotta be perfect, why cant I look like a celebrity, yup. thats me. Always wanting to look best, work the best, be the best. Always needed the "A"!!! Dont want anyone to think badly of me, and Im sensitve and get my feelings hurt way to easily. Oh. and Im a worrier to top all that!

Me me me me me!!!!!!!!!!!! (except in Maths--I never cared that I never could get an A!!)

[Getting there!!!]

Originally Posted by aleriaaa

Some of these things I just mentioned are starting to come to the surface again, so I have to nip it in the bud!!!

Me too---teenage things and thoughts.....it has to be stopped!!

[Getting there!!!]

I wish I could multi-quote in a message---as in comment in the middle of it! I thought that's what multi-quote was!!

[Getting there!!!]

Originally Posted by aleriaaa

Are your legs muscular or squishy?

Em---I'm looking at them cos I'm wrapped in a towel cos I've just had a shower!! A bit of both and neither really!!! I wouldn't say they're muscular, when I move them I can see the muscles but I'd say that's because they're thinner now. Def more squishy tho!! Like if I lost the fat off them they'd be thin. I don't think I'm a very muscular person!!
Backs of my thighs would have a lot more fat on them than the front or sides!

[Getting there!!!]

My E keeps kinda pinging when I type---well sh....t---I wonder is it gonna go!!

[aleriaaa]

Originally Posted by Getting there!!!

Ok now I've just been rambling!! But ya know it kills me, it kills me every day to work out this much and to eat the tuna and the chicken and blah--and still not to be stick thin...yes I want to be stick thin. And because I can't achieve that it is a struggle to not eat everything in site and then go and stick my fingers down my throat. And then ya know what we're back to why QWL works the best---because of the control!!Now I'm gonna shut up.

Meat can really cure so many things. People dont typically purge meat. Meat doesnt make anyone go out of control. Meat keeps us in check. I know its a struggle, and you are doing everything you can and you do have the wonderful results to prove it! Keep holding it together and try not go down this path.

You have come farther than any of us and I am so proud of you. I know you have come a long way because you even posted pics! I want to take my pics down everytime I look at them but I know its helping me in baby steps to let others into my life and try real hard not to be embarrassed all the time. We have to be more accepting of ourselves and love us the way everyone else does. Cause arent we just a lovable bunch?

[aleriaaa]

Originally Posted by Getting there!!!

I agree! I think that about myself but not really of others. I mostly think....look at that skinny bee eating that---the world is ill divided!!!!!!!

come to think of it... i dont even look at others cause Im afraid they might be looking at me!!!

[Getting there!!!]

Originally Posted by aleriaaa

and just so your not the only one answering the question, my calves have a big muscle surrounded by squishy, and my thighs are all droopping squish.

I dont know why Im asking, but maybe the muscles from the exercise are keeping you from the look you want? I dont know anything about this topic though, I just want to try to help.

No it's too much fat that's keepin me from the look I want!!!!
No I def don't have muscular legs, when I think about it--I don't have calve muscles---like Irish dancers oe people who walk a lot in high heels!!

Gotta say tho I do build muscles in my arms easily enough..and I really hate built arms---I only like stick thin ones. I now have both---muscles (in the front!)and fat (at the back!)!! Now they're not huge by any means, it's just I want them thinner!!
I suppose in a way I don't mind muscles for a little while--I see it as the lesser of 2 evils--it's either muscles or lose skin so my plan is to take the muscles for a while and then try and lose it after I've maintained for a while.
And on the skin front I've been lucky!

[Getting there!!!]

Originally Posted by aleriaaa

Meat can really cure so many things. People dont typically purge meat. Meat doesnt make anyone go out of control. Meat keeps us in check. I know its a struggle, and you are doing everything you can and you do have the wonderful results to prove it! Keep holding it together and try not go down this path.

You have come farther than any of us and I am so proud of you. I know you have come a long way because you even posted pics! I want to take my pics down everytime I look at them but I know its helping me in baby steps to let others into my life and try real hard not to be embarrassed all the time. We have to be more accepting of ourselves and love us the way everyone else does. Cause arent we just a lovable bunch?

You're right Al about the meat. It's one of the things I like about QWL. I shouldn't admit this cos it's so wrong to throw away food--but I've even bought stuff in the supermarket--thought better of it on the way home and just dumped it in the bin so tat I wouldn't eat it.
Your picks are lovely. I hate mine too. Gosh they're not even full picks!!! And Ive never posted the before one. I will sometime. I don't even have any myself, I'll have to get hem off friends!!
We are the best bunch tho!!!!!!!!

[Getting there!!!]

Originally Posted by aleriaaa

come to think of it... i dont even look at others cause Im afraid they might be looking at me!!!

Oh I love you!!!!!!!!

[Getting there!!!]

Oh girl you have to come and live in Germany for a while!!!!! I mean they stare All The Time---it's like the national pasttime!!! No seriously it is!!!!!!!!!!!

[aleriaaa]

Originally Posted by Getting there!!!

You're right Al about the meat. It's one of the things I like about QWL. I shouldn't admit this cos it's so wrong to throw away food--but I've even bought stuff in the supermarket--thought better of it on the way home and just dumped it in the bin so tat I wouldn't eat it.
Your picks are lovely. I hate mine too. Gosh they're not even full picks!!! And Ive never posted the before one. I will sometime. I don't even have any myself, I'll have to get hem off friends!!
We are the best bunch tho!!!!!!!!

and again, you have come so far. Dont ever worry about throwing away food, because your not doing it to be wasteful, you're making an effort to lead a healthier life!! I so need to take this advice. Im the one that makes sure I eat everthing up so I dont throw it out. (even when its peanut butter and jelly crusts!!!) the kids these days dont know what their missing!!

We need IM2 to knock some sense into us!! Calling IM2, Come in!!

Post your befores when you're ready. Ive got some other doosies to put up. I still need to post my before and after nose, and some of the kids.

[aleriaaa]

Originally Posted by Getting there!!!

Oh girl you have to come and live in Germany for a while!!!!! I mean they stare All The Time---it's like the national pasttime!!! No seriously it is!!!!!!!!!!!

if thats the case, then that just means I need to be drunk when I come to visit. Stoli and Cranberrys are my "I dont Care" elixer!

[aleriaaa]

and one more thing about me... I eat very fast. Like one second the steak is there, the next *poof*

maybe if I slowed down I would get bored and just stop.....

[aleriaaa]

what happens after "very gabby LCF member"?

[aleriaaa]

Becky- Hope you are having a ball at the party!!!!

[aleriaaa]

Vee, Milo? Check in! We dont always hog the thread like this, promise!!

GWN- Missing you!!!

CC- stop shopping and tell us whats up!!

[IM2fat]

Guys! I'm here.

thank goodness you've come back, Al! We need to get serious. . I've been very, very good.. for the most part went to dinner with the family and I ordered a burger. tossed the bun. . had a side salad and cabbage soup. . I think I'm still good

Had a surprise visitor today (TOM) which makes me feel all the better about my weight loss last week. .(and my mood!). .It is amazing how that can throw one so far out of whack! I'll be glad when its all over next week. .

You guys and your leg talk. . you crack me up. . of course. . I'm known as chicken legs so I cant' talk. . but I do want humongus boobs, too. . How does one get those without gaining weight?

I just thought I'd check in real quick (kids are waiting to put up the tree). . I'll check in later when I have more stuff to say. . I'm out of stuff today. . running around and working wore me out!

[IM2fat]

I love Christina. . Awesome avi

[Getting there!!!]

Originally Posted by aleriaaa

and again, you have come so far. Dont ever worry about throwing away food, because your not doing it to be wasteful, you're making an effort to lead a healthier life!! I so need to take this advice. Im the one that makes sure I eat everthing up so I dont throw it out. (even when its peanut butter and jelly crusts!!!) the kids these days dont know what their missing!!

We need IM2 to knock some sense into us!! Calling IM2, Come in!!

Post your befores when you're ready. Ive got some other doosies to put up. I still need to post my before and after nose, and some of the kids.

I've so never got that about Americans and heir peanut butter and jelly sandwiches----we just don't do it----one or the other---and actually peanut butter is not really that popular!!


before and after nose!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Hope Im2 comes to keep you company cos I'm gonna have to toddle to bed------I wish we were in the same time zone!!

[Getting there!!!]

You saw her light on!!!!!!!!!!

[Getting there!!!]

Originally Posted by aleriaaa

and one more thing about me... I eat very fast. Like one second the steak is there, the next *poof*

maybe if I slowed down I would get bored and just stop.....