The Old Me vs. The New Me

zeraspride · 01-27-2006, 10:31 AM

Just thought I'd share something I was thinking about last night and get a bit of feedback from you all. I had to give a short speech in front of about 150 people last night and I was really nervous but it went very well and I was so pleased with myself (and relieved) when it was over that I kept thinking I should "reward" myself. I had this thought of going home and eating some of my husband's 100% whole wheat chocolate chip cookies. Three cookies have 150 calories and then if I have some skim milk, we'd be talking about over 200 calories at the end of the day. The calories though were only the secondary issue.

The bigger issue was that I was reverting back to the "old fat Lisa" (OFL for short). When I was OFL I would use food for everything but it's intended purpose of fueling my body. I would use it as a rewarder (like after a good presentation or if I was in a particularly good mood) or as a punisher (like if someone said something hurtful to me and I wanted to hurt myself for being so fat and unlovable). Anyway, the dialogue I had with myself was a back and forth mental shoving match. OFL trying to justify why I should go home and "reward" myself with cookies and milk and "new thin Lisa" (NTL) assuring myself I could find a nice non-food way to reward myself. NTL reminded me that I had a killer work out that afternoon and that I didn't want to mess up all my hard work. NTL also reminded me that I no longer need to abuse food. I am the one in control.

I'm happy to say that NTL won out and I went home and treated myself to a nice steamy bubble bath and some good reading material. Then I used this new Vaseline Intensive Care lotion on my body that is a firming and rejuvinating formula (fabulous by the way). I put on my favorite pjs and watched a bit of tv while enjoying a small bowl of cherries. It was a perfect end to my day and best of all I woke up this morning with gloriously soft skin and no guilt!

I was just wondering as you all go thorugh your own individual weight loss journey, do you find yourself battling with old habits versus new healthy habits you're trying to form for yourself or am I the only one struggling to do the right thing? Maybe it just comes to easy to some but I have a feeling I'll have many more of these battles - and ladies this is one war I'm determined to win!

Shalbrihil · 01-27-2006, 12:46 PM

Oh yes Lisa the OFS keeps knockin' but I just won't let that OFS in! It's a challenge in itself but it gets easier the more you let NTS take control. Great post Lisa! You know how to put into words what we all are feeling.

Yankee Belle · 01-27-2006, 01:01 PM

Lisa, I am CONTSTANTLY battling my old habits. Last night for instance... I wasn't feeling well and called Jeff with a list of things to pick up from the store for me. He called me back a bit later and asked if the boys had eaten dinner yet. When I said 'no' he decided to stop at Checkers to pick something up for the 3 of them. So what did I do? I used my sore throat as an excuse to ask for a MILKSHAKE!!! "Oh honey, I know it's off of my eating plan but it would feel *so* good on my throat". Ugh. Right away I wanted to call him back and cancel....but did I? Nope. Thank heavens Checkers was OUT OF SHAKES! I was actually pretty glad about that...but the point is, I reverted into old behaviors as soon as a 'situation' came up.

Same with today...nothing I have stocked in the fridge here sounded good to my sick stomach. I *almost* mentioned going to pick up something from a fast food place but fought that one off and managed to eat Garden Burgers & mushrooms.

OFL will always be there hun. There's going to be times that NTL will have to beat OFL down with a stick...but I know NTL will win out in the end!

Msmbrad · 01-27-2006, 02:41 PM

I honestly believe that unless you go into a weight loss plan with your mind made up that you are going to change your lifestyle you won't be successful. You may temporarily lose weight but as soon as you let those old habits creep back in you are starting a down hill battle with yourself. You are living proof that weight loss is mind over matter. If you have your mind made up to succeed then the temptations won't matter because NTL will beat them down with her new found inner strength.

justmarvi · 01-27-2006, 06:06 PM

Lisa, great post. All you guys are awesome.

I wish I could say, wow, I've won that battle but can't. I still have those days and nights and sometimes mishaps. It sure is nice to be able to share.

rose1 · 01-27-2006, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yankee Belle

Thank heavens Checkers was OUT OF SHAKES!

God works in mysterious ways.

SBGirl · 01-29-2006, 05:46 PM

Oh, I battle with this too and the longer I instill these new principles to my way of life, the more I am able to take control of the choices I make. I still make booboo's; however, each day I start over and try to keep myself from dwelling on what I cannot change.

It was so rewarding to your reward of bubble bath and reading material. And now I want to go out and look for that lotion you speak of. It sounds great! Thanks for sharing this with us here at the forum. These types of stories inspire me to that I can do this and gives me encouragement.

zeraspride · 01-30-2006, 10:49 AM

Thanks to everyone that responded to my post. I've had a rough weekend but it was all my doing. Everytime I feel like I'm ready to call goal, I find myself sabotaging my efforts. I know I'm scared. "Dieting" is such a safe place for me. "Goal" seems to evoke feelings of anxiety and then I find myself picking up treats from the store that I know I shouldn't have. I mean who in their right mind would eats popcorn and sugar free sundae for dinner? Well, I did this weekend. Sigh. My weight is stable, thank goodness but I attribute that to all the exercise I do during the week at the gym.

I'm determined to get this under control. I may not have a whole lot of perfect days but I'm going to deal with this issue head on, see it for what it is, accept what I cannot change about, make appropriate changes where it's practical and most important forgive myself so I don't start setting myself up for a big fall down the road.

Thanks for being here for me. I truly and really don't know what I would do without this support group! I don't know how some people can be successful on their own but I'm glad I don't have to find out!

and

01-27-2006, 10:31 AM	#1
zeraspride Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Ohio Posts: 3,075 Gallery: zeraspride Stats: Highest 282.5 CW: 227.8 GW: 160 WOE: South Beach Start Date: 12/01/03 - restart 11/01/08 (down 6.2!)	The Old Me vs. The New Me Just thought I'd share something I was thinking about last night and get a bit of feedback from you all. I had to give a short speech in front of about 150 people last night and I was really nervous but it went very well and I was so pleased with myself (and relieved) when it was over that I kept thinking I should "reward" myself. I had this thought of going home and eating some of my husband's 100% whole wheat chocolate chip cookies. Three cookies have 150 calories and then if I have some skim milk, we'd be talking about over 200 calories at the end of the day. The calories though were only the secondary issue. The bigger issue was that I was reverting back to the "old fat Lisa" (OFL for short). When I was OFL I would use food for everything but it's intended purpose of fueling my body. I would use it as a rewarder (like after a good presentation or if I was in a particularly good mood) or as a punisher (like if someone said something hurtful to me and I wanted to hurt myself for being so fat and unlovable). Anyway, the dialogue I had with myself was a back and forth mental shoving match. OFL trying to justify why I should go home and "reward" myself with cookies and milk and "new thin Lisa" (NTL) assuring myself I could find a nice non-food way to reward myself. NTL reminded me that I had a killer work out that afternoon and that I didn't want to mess up all my hard work. NTL also reminded me that I no longer need to abuse food. I am the one in control. I'm happy to say that NTL won out and I went home and treated myself to a nice steamy bubble bath and some good reading material. Then I used this new Vaseline Intensive Care lotion on my body that is a firming and rejuvinating formula (fabulous by the way). I put on my favorite pjs and watched a bit of tv while enjoying a small bowl of cherries. It was a perfect end to my day and best of all I woke up this morning with gloriously soft skin and no guilt! I was just wondering as you all go thorugh your own individual weight loss journey, do you find yourself battling with old habits versus new healthy habits you're trying to form for yourself or am I the only one struggling to do the right thing? Maybe it just comes to easy to some but I have a feeling I'll have many more of these battles - and ladies this is one war I'm determined to win! __________________ Lisa My story: Lost 109 pounds on SBD (2003); gained 60pounds back - restarted SBD 11/1/08 Minigoals: 207 199 174 GOAL: 160 What about now? What about today? What if you're making me all that I was meant to be? . . . Baby, before it's too late; What about now? Daughtry

01-27-2006, 01:01 PM	#3
Yankee Belle Senior LCF Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Mobile, AL Posts: 619 Gallery: Yankee Belle Stats: 293/275/170 Height 5'10" WOE: My Way Start Date: January 2, 2006	Lisa, I am CONTSTANTLY battling my old habits. Last night for instance... I wasn't feeling well and called Jeff with a list of things to pick up from the store for me. He called me back a bit later and asked if the boys had eaten dinner yet. When I said 'no' he decided to stop at Checkers to pick something up for the 3 of them. So what did I do? I used my sore throat as an excuse to ask for a MILKSHAKE!!! "Oh honey, I know it's off of my eating plan but it would feel so good on my throat". Ugh. Right away I wanted to call him back and cancel....but did I? Nope. Thank heavens Checkers was OUT OF SHAKES! I was actually pretty glad about that...but the point is, I reverted into old behaviors as soon as a 'situation' came up. Same with today...nothing I have stocked in the fridge here sounded good to my sick stomach. I almost mentioned going to pick up something from a fast food place but fought that one off and managed to eat Garden Burgers & mushrooms. OFL will always be there hun. There's going to be times that NTL will have to beat OFL down with a stick...but I know NTL will win out in the end! __________________ Theresa 1/2/06---293 1/24/06--280 1/7/06---285 2/2/06---275 1/13/06--283 Honesty with myself will be the key to my success!! Miles walked since January 23, 2006: 25.8

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01-27-2006, 12:46 PM	#2
Shalbrihil MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: California Posts: 1,875 Gallery: Shalbrihil Stats: maintaining my loss since 2005 WOE: SBD Phase 3 Start Date: June 2003	Oh yes Lisa the OFS keeps knockin' but I just won't let that OFS in! It's a challenge in itself but it gets easier the more you let NTS take control. Great post Lisa! You know how to put into words what we all are feeling.

01-27-2006, 02:41 PM	#4
Msmbrad Junior LCF Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Camp Lejeune NC Posts: 24 Gallery: Msmbrad Stats: 241.6/232/150 WOE: SB Start Date: Jan 9th,2006	I honestly believe that unless you go into a weight loss plan with your mind made up that you are going to change your lifestyle you won't be successful. You may temporarily lose weight but as soon as you let those old habits creep back in you are starting a down hill battle with yourself. You are living proof that weight loss is mind over matter. If you have your mind made up to succeed then the temptations won't matter because NTL will beat them down with her new found inner strength.

01-27-2006, 06:06 PM	#5
justmarvi Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 3,218 Gallery: justmarvi	Lisa, great post. All you guys are awesome. I wish I could say, wow, I've won that battle but can't. I still have those days and nights and sometimes mishaps. It sure is nice to be able to share.

01-29-2006, 05:46 PM	#7
SBGirl Junior LCF Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 39 Gallery: SBGirl Stats: 216/182.1/150 WOE: South Beach Start Date: May 20, 2005	Oh, I battle with this too and the longer I instill these new principles to my way of life, the more I am able to take control of the choices I make. I still make booboo's; however, each day I start over and try to keep myself from dwelling on what I cannot change. It was so rewarding to your reward of bubble bath and reading material. And now I want to go out and look for that lotion you speak of. It sounds great! Thanks for sharing this with us here at the forum. These types of stories inspire me to that I can do this and gives me encouragement.

01-30-2006, 10:49 AM	#8
zeraspride Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Ohio Posts: 3,075 Gallery: zeraspride Stats: Highest 282.5 CW: 227.8 GW: 160 WOE: South Beach Start Date: 12/01/03 - restart 11/01/08 (down 6.2!)	Thanks to everyone that responded to my post. I've had a rough weekend but it was all my doing. Everytime I feel like I'm ready to call goal, I find myself sabotaging my efforts. I know I'm scared. "Dieting" is such a safe place for me. "Goal" seems to evoke feelings of anxiety and then I find myself picking up treats from the store that I know I shouldn't have. I mean who in their right mind would eats popcorn and sugar free sundae for dinner? Well, I did this weekend. Sigh. My weight is stable, thank goodness but I attribute that to all the exercise I do during the week at the gym. I'm determined to get this under control. I may not have a whole lot of perfect days but I'm going to deal with this issue head on, see it for what it is, accept what I cannot change about, make appropriate changes where it's practical and most important forgive myself so I don't start setting myself up for a big fall down the road. Thanks for being here for me. I truly and really don't know what I would do without this support group! I don't know how some people can be successful on their own but I'm glad I don't have to find out! and