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#1 |
Senior LCF Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 390
Gallery: tinamanni
Stats: 250/192/150
WOE: 80% fat
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I'm a perfectionist
And I get so frustrated because I am not perfect at losing weight. I work really hard to become good at the things I do - school, work, I'm too organized, etc.. and I seriously struggle with the fact that I am not good at weight loss. If I can work so hard and be good at most things, why can't I get this right? Does anyone else have the same frustrations?
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#2 |
Very Gabby LCF Member!!!
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Ive struggled with perfectionist tendencies most of my life. I hated to be labeled a perfectionist because I was only too aware of how far I was from being perfect. Well there is no such thing as perfect, and freedom, such as it is, comes from recognizing that while we are not perfect that is just fine. I relate to your impatience. No great advice. Seems recognizing this about yourself is a good thing, though. Then maybe acceptance is the next step. I am sure your post will resonate with lots of people.
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#3 |
Senior LCF Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 862
Gallery: Melle's_Sweetheart
Stats: 355/185/150
WOE: Low Carb/Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy
Start Date: Dec 1, 2003 (first time) 10/18/12 (last time)
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Yes, I have the same issue.
I learned about 251 days ago that being a perfectionist and losing weight are opposing forces. You just can't be "perfect" at weight loss. I've decided that I'd rather be imperfect or a "failure" at weight loss but be LOSING than to be a perfectionist and fall off the wagon. Why bother beating yourself up? Just keep calm and keto on. ![]()
__________________
Read about my 365 day blogging commitment: http://www.lowcarbfriends.com/bbs/we...vengeance.html ![]() ![]() October 27, 2013 :: ONE YEAR BINGE free! November 23, 2016 :: Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Follow me on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/shrinking_teena/ |
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#4 |
Major LCF Poster!
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: VA
Posts: 1,389
Gallery: emel
Stats: 179.4/158.8/130ish
WOE: Atkins OWL/NK hybrid
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You can strive for perfection in your food plan, but you can't MAKE the weight come off--- the body is going to do what it 'thinks' is the right thing to do, and maybe that means holding on to weight for a while despite how perfect your plan is.
Could you change the way you set your goals? Instead of saying "I will lose 2 pounds this week" could you say, "I will make a good daily plan and follow it, and I will read and learn about nutrition, low-carbing, and how my body might react to its fuel source"?
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Keep calm and carry on. |
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#5 | |
Blabbermouth!!!
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: London/Herts UK
Posts: 6,833
Gallery: SlowSure
Stats: 157/103/100-110
WOE: JUDDD Maintenance.
Start Date: 2011
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Quote:
![]() I listened to a talk by Layne Norton recently, and part of the title was: "Your body is smarter than you are". Our bodies think we're ludicrous for trying to squander the fat stores they've so diligently and carefully built up. We can tweak some of the processes to try and persuade them to give up some of the stores but there are tens of thousands of processes, some of which are still unknown to us, and we can only influence a few of them. We are not input/output devices that operate in a constant environment, if we were, then weight management wouldn't be quite the task that it is. We can only control what we can and designing and following through on a good plan is part of that. |
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#6 | |
Fat Burning Machine Extraordinaire!
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Quote:
![]() Honestly, if you worship the scale you can't really be a perfectionist, IMO. A perfectionist would know that the scale is not a reflection of fat loss, and no matter what we do we cannot make the scale move by our actions. Goals need to be achievable by our actions. Scale-based goals are not realistic. They set one up for failure & disappointment. Goals related to what we eat and to exercise are best. All we have to do is eat the right things and do our planned workouts and we've accomplished our goals. Accomplishing those goals will lead to fat loss and that will lead to losing in he's, being smaller and looking better. The scale may or may not move but, honestly, who cares what the scale says when you look & feel great?!
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Living by Faith
Get the right perspective. When Goliath came against the Israelites, the soldiers all thought, He is so big. We can never kill him." David looked at the same giant and thought, "He is so big. I can't miss." ~ Russell Johnston |
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#7 | |
Senior LCF Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 369
Gallery: thatphdguy
WOE: South Beach
Start Date: 9/18/17
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#8 |
Blabbermouth!!!
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Yup. I know.
I also strive for perfection in everything I do and I love total control. and weight loss just isn't an easy thing to control or have perfection. I get frustrated also. I am with ya I do the best I can.
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I DO whatever it takes for me ![]() |
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#9 |
Major LCF Poster!
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,922
Gallery: trishthedish
Stats: 282/165/141
WOE: LC & IF
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Yes, I understand your frustrations. In my experience, my perfectionism is the root cause of my overeating to begin with. If I couldn't eat perfectly, I might as well binge.
This is an important issue for you to be reflecting on for your long term, life long success at managing a healthy weight. ![]() Once you can allow yourself to consider progress a success, you can stop beating yourself with the perfectionist stick. (much easier said than done)
__________________
Proud member of the 115 Pound Club "Life is what happens to you while your busy making other plans."- John Lennon |
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#10 |
Senior LCF Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Where The Green Grass Grows
Posts: 827
Gallery: baileygirl3
Stats: 177/137/135
WOE: Low Carb
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__________________
You will never be happier than you expect. To change your happiness, change your expectation. - Bette Davis |
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#11 | |
Blabbermouth!!!
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Boston, then OH, then NYC, now SoCal. Whew!
Posts: 3,249
Gallery: Ntombi
Stats: Restart: 360/284.4/190
WOE: Atkins for weight loss, NK for maintenance.
Start Date: Restarted: 1-3-13 Original: 8-23-02
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Quote:
I stopped making weight goals, and focus on only what I can control: what I put in my body.
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Ntombi: 5'6˝" 40 years old Started Atkins 8-23-02 325+ bought scale 9-7-02: 318/259.6/180? Diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (and other conditions) Summer 2005 after years of misdiagnoses--> food plan went out the window! Restarted--again--January 3, 2013.
Last edited by Ntombi; 07-04-2013 at 03:21 PM.. |
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#12 |
Big Yapper!!!!
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: CA Coast
Posts: 9,001
Gallery: GME
Stats: 250/217/not sure 5'7
WOE: IF/NK
Start Date: April 2000 (the first time)
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I hear ya. I'm not really a perfectionist, but I am pretty good at everything I care about doing (home, family, career) except keeping my weight down. There is nothing else, in my control anyway (not like winning the lottery), that I have really wanted and not achieved.
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#13 |
Major LCF Poster!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,097
Gallery: JMacB
Stats: 275/185/160
WOE: Modified Atkins/general low carb
Start Date: Feb 2012
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Remember this: never let perfect get in the way of great.
__________________
my low-carb journey, sixty days at a time |
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#15 |
Senior LCF Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 390
Gallery: tinamanni
Stats: 250/192/150
WOE: 80% fat
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It's great to see that I'm not alone in this line of thinking. I know in theory the numbers on the scale shouldn't matter but they do to all of us more than I think we'd like to admit. I know it's a process, and I know it will be never ending for me. Maybe I am successful with it in ways and just need to find a way to look at it with that spin
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#16 |
Blabbermouth!!!
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Boston, then OH, then NYC, now SoCal. Whew!
Posts: 3,249
Gallery: Ntombi
Stats: Restart: 360/284.4/190
WOE: Atkins for weight loss, NK for maintenance.
Start Date: Restarted: 1-3-13 Original: 8-23-02
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You are successful! You're losing weight, your bathing suit is hanging off, you're doing what you need to do!
Maybe you need a dose of non-scale victories. ![]() |
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#18 |
Senior LCF Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 746
Gallery: Ocean
Stats: 240/144/ Below 145 5'1.5"
WOE: General Low Carb
Start Date: June 2010
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Don't look at it as where you are. Think about how far you have come. Sure you aren't where you want to be, but you are a whole lot closer than you were when you started this journey.
__________________
Falling down along the way doesn't keep you from getting to your destination. Failure to get back up and keep going does. |
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#19 |
Senior LCF Member
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#20 |
Senior LCF Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: NY, NY
Posts: 383
Gallery: krissakris
WOE: Low-Carb Something of Another...
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Focus on progress over perfection. Perfection will do more harm than good. Also I agree with getting off the scale. I'm a perfectionist too but the best thing I did was not focus on the scale. I've been at weight loss since the beginning of the year and I have no idea how much I weigh-I know myself and nothing would ever be good enough and I'd sabotage myself chasing after 'perfection'. Now, I just focus on how I feel awesome all the time, less bloated, my fitness progress an the way I look in clothes, et al. Find what woks for you
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...Not a major Betty, but a vast improvement... |
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#21 |
Major LCF Poster!
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: DFW area
Posts: 1,844
Gallery: Sirtain
Stats: 202then/154March/Xnow/140soon
WOE: Paleo+JUDDD
Start Date: March 2013
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Separate from the 'mental' aspect of trying to do dieting 'right', have you looked at JUDDD? It has really changed how I view 'falling off the wagon' and 'getting back on the wagon' and I would be interested to see if it helped with the desire to lose weight perfectly.
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#22 |
Senior LCF Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Northwest NJ
Posts: 235
Gallery: Aquarius
Stats: 190/135/125
WOE: Atkins-ish
Start Date: 3/3/2012
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I used perfectionism for years as an excuse to binge and gain weight since there was no way I could follow a diet perfectly. Then I used it as a way to stick perfectly to the first three phases of Atkins and lose the weight. Then I used it again as an excuse to binge - I "blew" maintenance by not doing it perfectly, so what the heck? - and gain back the weight.
I am sort of bad at being a perfectionist, ![]() So now I focus on progress. I get frustrated because I'm not doing this "fast" enough but then I remind myself that the time is passing anyway, might as well pass it losing weight and feeling good. And the only way I'll maintain this long term is to accept that this is the way I need to eat from now on, so there really is no rush. |
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#23 |
Senior LCF Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Ancramdale, NY
Posts: 770
Gallery: creseis
Stats: 157/156/135
WOE: Atkins/Eades's/Volek and Phinney/Attia.. Ketogenic
Start Date: Jan 4, 2014
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My cycling coach always says, if you can't get something this time, by just trying you are one try closer to getting it right the next time. If you stop trying, you will never get it right. All things in life are very different--school, work, diet, relationships. They all have one thing in common--if you give up, you will never see success.
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