Need help and advice from my great JUDDD budds

[brewstate]

Just to start off I just turned 31 and my DH and I have 3 great kids ages 7,4, and 2. After my daughter I just knew I was done with children. I felt complete and I didn't want anymore (I hope that doesn't sound bad). Anyway, I have been at my parents for a week and was supposed to start TOM while there. Long story short I got back yesterday and I still hadn't started which means I was 5 days late. I took a test this morning and there was a dark, dark line. So apparently and miraculously I'm pregnant with #4.

I know I should be happy, but I'm not (I'm sure I will be at some point). I have lost a lot of weight and finally felt in control of my body again. I love JUDDD and do not want to give it up. I know people will tell me its unhealthy but I cannot gain back up to 200 lbs again. Maybe a modified plan? I don't know yet.

I'm not ready to tell anyone in the real world yet (except DH of course, who is being wonderful about it) and I just don't know what to do Sorry if I sound crazy but I think I'm still in shock and I have a lot of decisions to make and you guys plain and simple make me feel better

So can anyone help me devise a healthy plan that will allow me to keep my rotations and my sanity or should I ditch it all and go grab a bag of chocolate?

[KeirasMom]

No need to ditch the plan and go for chocolate. First of all, I totally get where you're coming from. What a shock, when you have yourself all settled and a plan for the future.

Whatever you decide, we're here for you. I would not suggest ditching the plan altogether, but maybe going into the higher maintenance range, after discussing it with your doctor. The other option is to just figure out your TDEE and stick to that, so you don't gain a bunch, but still have enough nutrition for you and the baby. I have not dieted while pregnant, so I'm afraid I don't have the answers, just a shoulder if you need it.

[JMBM]

Originally Posted by brewstate

Just to start off I just turned 31 and we have my DH and I have 3 great kids ages 7,4, and 2. After my daughter I just knew I was done with children. I felt complete and I didn't want anymore (I hope that doesn't sound bad). Anyway, I have been at my parents for a week and was supposed to start TOM while there. Long story short I got back yesterday and I still hadn't started which means I was 5 days late. I took a test this morning and there was a dark, dark line. So apparently and miraculously I'm pregnant with #4.

I know I should be happy, but I'm not (I'm sure I will be at some point). I have lost a lot of weight and finally felt in control of my body again. I love JUDDD and do not want to give it up. I know people will tell me its unhealthy but I cannot gain back up to 200 lbs again. Maybe a modified plan? I don't know yet.

I'm not ready to tell anyone in the real world yet (except DH of course, who is being wonderful about it) and I just don't know what to do Sorry if I sound crazy but I think I'm still in shock and I have a lot of decision to make and you guys plain and simple make me feel better

So can anyone help me devise a healthy plan that will allow me to keep my rotations and my sanity or should I ditch it all and go grab a bag of chocolate?

Elise! I'm not prob the best one to give advice on the cal intake, however, I think if you just watch what you eat (health wise), drink lots of water, and try to maintain a steady exercise program that you will be fine. I'm sorry you're disappointed I can totally understand. Just when you feel like you're making progress, but just remember all things happen for a reason. My sister works out regularly and recently hurt her back to the point she cannot get around w/o assistance. She is so upset and miserable. Just try to take it day by day. Maybe another JB can offer more advice on your calorie intake. Or maybe ask your gyn? 4U

[Kimberli33]

Well a baby needs 200-300 extra calories but that is in the 2nd and 3rd trimester only(1st tri- babies require nothing unless mom is under weight).So maybe modified DDs (mainentance) cc and up days of your requirments ,plus300 to be safe.Seems workable to me...Oh,and congrats ,babies are such a wonderful thing and you will feel better when you come to terms with this unexpected surprise.

BTW-missed seeing your face on here,you are such a positive person and have made such great progress on this woe.

[brewstate]

Its just so crazy. We have given away everything we have babywise and I was just about to go back to work after being a SAHM for 7 years!!! Luckily my husband has a very good job and salary and our house is sufficient for our needs so I can't complain about that, it is just such as SUPRISE.

Obviously I don't want to diet per say as I would not be concerned with losing weight but I certainly don't want to pack on all those pounds again either.

Right now I eat about 380 calories on DD and around 2000 on UD which would average out to 1200 calories per day. I think this would be ok to keep (maybe go up to 500 for DD) for at least the first 2 trimesters as you don't really need any extra calories until much later. With a hope of gaining only about 15 lbs since I'm still about 10-15 pounds overweight.

As far as I know the alternate day eating shouldn't affect my general health, correct? as long as my total calories were within a good range.

[LoCarbGal]

Elise

I'm sorry you're not feeling happy about this. I know you will be later on, and will love your new little one so much. But I do understand that this was not in the plan, and it's a jolt.

I wish you could find a doctor that actually is familiar with and knowledgable about IF and could advise you properly. Most doctors will probably knee-jerk and say DON'T.

That said, I'm sure normal JUDDD would not be appropriate. Your body is going to need calories to feed you and the baby. My understanding is that your body will give the baby what it needs, and your body will suffer if you're not getting all the nutrition you need. That's comforting in the sense that the baby will be fine, but we need you to be fine too!

Please stick with us, whatever you decide to do. We want to be here for you! That's what is so great about this board. Mostly it's food and weight loss, but it's also sharing of life's struggles and celebrations. A real circle of friends.

[Kimberli33]

Originally Posted by LoCarbGal

Elise

I'm sorry you're not feeling happy about this. I know you will be later on, and will love your new little one so much. But I do understand that this was not in the plan, and it's a jolt.

I wish you could find a doctor that actually is familiar with and knowledgable about IF and could advise you properly. Most doctors will probably knee-jerk and say DON'T.

That said, I'm sure normal JUDDD would not be appropriate. Your body is going to need calories to feed you and the baby. My understanding is that your body will give the baby what it needs, and your body will suffer if you're not getting all the nutrition you need. That's comforting in the sense that the baby will be fine, but we need you to be fine .Please stick with us, whatever you decide to do. We want to be here for you! That's what is so great about this board. Mostly it's food and weight loss, but it's also sharing of life's struggles and celebrations. A real circle of friends.

[Jbinme]

I lost my appetite when I was pregnant so I ate less during that time so it was almost like calorie restriction but not on purpose? I would think it would be ok to do maintenance level JUDDD? I'm just guessing though.
We are here for you

[hot-in-texas]

I too understand where you're coming from We had 4 children in my family growing up, and to me, that is the perfect number of siblings(but I'm biased!) When i was pregnant with both of mine, I lost weight in the first tri-mester and then only gained 20 with each, and they were both 8 1/2 pound babies. The only thing I would be cautious about is-does the baby need to have cetrtain nutrients daily? I would *think* daily rotations would be ok, but just a higher percentage. Take your pre-natals, and eat the healthy stuff.

[Whitlin']

I am remembering seeing some "perfect" schedules of weight gain during pregnancy somewhere on the net. They showed how to decide how much you intended to gain (maybe a calculator for this), and how to place the correct percentages of that planned gain in each month. (found this one with a quick search)

That way, if you could discipline yourself to calorie counting (and you certainly are good at it, Elise) you could have a healthy, sufficient weight gain but never go overboard in any given month. Then, that amount of weight would be easier to lose than a pregnancy gain that went too far.

Your body has allowed you to begin a pregnancy while alternating calories, so it must have decided the calorie-alternating Elise is a good candidate for a healthy pregnancy. That's affirming and reassuring! Congratulations!

[Flossyliz]

Elise, congratulations!

Babies need nutrients, rather than calories at first. I'm sure if you concentrate on eating as healthily as possible, you can carry on as normal with JUDDD for now and increase your DD allowance as you get bigger.

[deborahlh]

Congrats!
I understand how you feel...I was 36 when I had my son and my DH and I had already decided on no children. it was a shock that turned into a wonderful blessing.
I also had gestational diabetes and a very strict OB who put me on a lower carb diet and I only gained about 15lbs. My son was a healthy 6lb5oz baby and the greatest blessing of my life
take good care of you right now! Talk all this over with your OB and the rest will fall into place accordingly.

[mom23kids]

Congratulations I'd just focus on healthy foods, taking your prenstal vitamins, drinking lots of water, and cutting back on soda right now (if you drink it), and not worry so much about calories right now. I actually weighed less on my delivery days, than what I did at my first prenatal visits, courtesy of non-stop morning sickness

[mom23kids]

Oh, and you definitley deserve some chocolate right now

[zipp2play]

I wouldn't think 300c on DD's during any part of the pregnancy would be wise. I'm no DR, but I just can't wrap my head around it. Maybe do a Mid day Up day thing. Using 1000 md and 2000 ud. I pray for you to have a happy healthy pregnancy!

[Librarygirl]

I can't give advice on pregnancy, but it seems like you've gotten some really good, thoughtful replies so far! I know you said that you are shocked and a little upset about this new "development" (I couldn't resist!), but I still want to give you my congratulations. Once you get over this initial surprise, I think everything will be fine.

[motivatedMomma4]

I know exactly how you feel!! My husband and I had decided 3 was enough for us. I had finally gotten BELOW my goal weight,I even had the IUD, my daughter was only 14 months old when I found out I was preggo with #4!! I cried and cried for days...and then I felt guilty for feeling the way I felt..lol, so Id cry some more..lol! Now.. I coldnt see my life ay other way...4 seems absolutely perfect to me ( a wild crazy zoo, but a perfect zoo..haha) BUT it took me a while to wrap my head around the whole thing!! She ended up coming really early, so it kind of felt like as soon as I decided, ok, I guess this is how its going to be, i should just enjoy it, she decided to say..ummmm too late!! Anyway, I am here if you want to talk..I have SOOOO been there :-) As far as Juddding, I would think that you should probably up you calories to maintenance amounts. You dont want to be in weight loss mode while preggo a healthy diet is sooo important during pregnancy for babys developement.. but it should be safe to still do rotations I would think :-) good luck with everything!!!!

[Carly]

I know you are somewhat shocked/ suprised, but it's such a blessing really. I'm praying that I may be able to afford to try to get AI this year as DW and I have wanted a baby for a very, very, long time. I hope you will speak with your ob/gyn about how to proceed with your eating plan.

[TryingJudd]

Just wanted to add my congratulations and best wishes!!

[Flutter]

Oh oh oh!!! A baby!!!!!!!!!!!!! How exciting!!!!!!!!!!!

I hear you, though. I totally get that you're feeling less than exuberant about the news right now. Just be kind to you right now...I was so emotional with each of my pregnancies, but especially my last one. There's an age gap between my teens & then my last baby because we felt like we were done, too. She has been the best thing for our family, though. XOXO it'll be ok! As for the diet, if you really want to stick with rotations, I would bump cals on both UD & DDs. Of course, all that would go out the window for me because I get horribly sick during the 1st tri. I pray you will have a wonderful, calm and perfect pg hun!!!!!!!

[JMBM]

Wish we could give you a shower!!! We'll just have to shower you with encouragement!! How about that?

[brewstate]

Thank you all so much The words of encouragement mean more to me than anything. I'll admit I've cried A LOT but that is probably just hormones and will pass.

Part of my fear is that my 2 boys were dream to have as babies and toddlers but I swear my daughter has been in the terrible 2's since she was born! Hopefully they really do have such different personalities because I'm not sure I can take another one like her I'm still not sure where this will lead my life but I am not leaving JUDDD. It is the best thing that has ever happened to me so if you ladies don't mind I'm going to stick around, hang out, encourage, and generally get in everybody's hair I had a 500 calorie DD yesterday because I was just not hungry. I think I will try increased calorie DD's but instead of sticking to a strict number, try to lower calories but if I get really hungry I will eat. Luckily I have have never really had morning sickness with any of my other 3 (please don't throw rocks at me) so sticking to basically what I am doing now will not hurt. My body will tell me when it wants more.

Also a big shout out and thank you to Kim who was so sweet to bump all those posts for me I read them all and really appreciated the advice.

[hot-in-texas]

Elise, I am secretly envious of you, have always wanted four children, but only could have 2. My youngest child was very easy, my oldest was harder. Look at it this way, if this one is difficult like your daughter, at least you have experience with it now!!

[Luna Loca]

No advice to add, it seems like you've gotten great advice so far, but wanted to add my warm congratulations. I am sending good thoughts for your family and know that all will turn out just fine. May you have a very happy and healthy pregnancy and a healthy and happy baby.

[Kissa]

I have been away Elise and am only just reading this.

First of all my congratulations. You know in your heart that you will love, welcome and be grateful for this new little life. It has naturally thrown you out, because you didn't expect it. But as we all know, 'Life happens while we are making other plans'.

SecondlyI don't think you need to totally stop JUDDDing. As Flossyliz says, very wisely,

Babies need nutrients, rather than calories at first. I'm sure if you concentrate on eating as healthily as possible, you can carry on as normal with JUDDD for now and increase your DD allowance as you get bigger.

Thirdly, I really hope this is a calm, healthy and happy pregnancy for you and your family.

As for child number 3 being a challenge, my parents always said that if I had been the first child I'd have been the last!

[zipp2play]

Elsie once the shock wears off only good feelings will be felt!!!!

[deborahlh]

Originally Posted by zipp2play

Elsie once the shock wears off only good feelings will be felt!!!!

i totally agree!

[brewstate]

UPDATE: I've been on computer hiatus for a while but am still loosely following my JUDDD rotations. I'm up 12 lbs at 23 weeks but I'm ok with that (it is ALL in my belly and chest ). Just had an ultrasound last week and its another BOY!!! Anyway, I ran across this old post and had to check to see how my JUDDD buds were doing.

[SlowSure]

It's so thoughtful of you to give an update.

I hope that the morning sickness abated and is now a distant memory.

[Kissa]

Elise, I am delighted to read how well you are managing your weight. Brilliant job.

Another boy hey? well that ensures that your daughter will remain your princess!

Lovely to see you dropping by.