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Old 09-13-2012, 08:47 AM   #1
KeirasMom
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DH is having WLS in November

. . . and I'm wondering if there's any sort of support system for spouses? I will be attending one of his nutritionist appointments, but other than that, I'm trying to find ways to be the best support I can be for him. I'm also looking for any resources you good people might recommend for family members.

Any advice? TIA!
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Old 09-13-2012, 10:32 AM   #2
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There's an ObesityHelp website that is good. I believe it also has a family/support forum.

His hospital (or a nearby) should have a support group list for your area as well.

And then here! We can answer all types of questions! Which type of surgery?
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Old 09-13-2012, 10:54 AM   #3
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I'm afraid I'm not terribly knowledgeable about all the different kinds. He opted for the traditional (?) gastric bypass. I know he didn't want the sleeve. Thanks for the info. He did mention that there's a support group for him and family members through his surgeon's office.
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Old 09-13-2012, 11:22 AM   #4
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Okay, so that's going to be the RNY. That's what I had, and there are a few others here that did as well. There are a few more dietary/nutritional concerns for the RNY patient than there are for some of the other types of surgery. The RNY forum at OH is a good place to learn and ask questions about dumping, vitamin and protein supplements.
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Old 09-13-2012, 07:28 PM   #5
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Welcome, Dawn! I also had RNY... Let me tell you, Heather is an amazing source of information and advice about WLS generally and RNY in particular. I second everything she said. If your husband is at all into these boards he may want to join us on some of the other threads to get used to everything he'll be doing very soon. I am really happy for him; losing weight changes your entire life. It is the best thing I ever did for myself and my family. I wish you both the best!
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Old 09-14-2012, 06:01 AM   #6
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Thank you Heather and Hot Tamale! I will definitely direct him this way and check out the OH site. DH isn't one to really post much on boards, but I may be able to convince him to poke around and read a bit. He's done his homework and has jumped through all the hoops to get the surgery approved, so he's already leaps and bounds beyond where I am in terms of knowledge.
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Old 09-14-2012, 06:31 AM   #7
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I would strongly encourage him to frequent some sort of board and/or support group for questions.

In my personal experience pre-op homework and research *barely* prepared me for post-op life, and I did a LOT of it. It's night and day, a whole different world. At least for the first many months!
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Old 09-14-2012, 09:15 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by myyellowstang View Post
I would strongly encourage him to frequent some sort of board and/or support group for questions.

In my personal experience pre-op homework and research *barely* prepared me for post-op life, and I did a LOT of it. It's night and day, a whole different world. At least for the first many months!
soooo true.
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Old 09-18-2012, 01:59 PM   #9
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I don't know if all support groups allow a support person (spouse, adult children) but the one I attend, does. I think it makes a huge difference for the support person to be knowledgeable. The number one complaint/stressor that married people who come alone vent about is the spouse watching their eating like a hawk and saying "are you allowed to have that?" in a sarcastic tone. That is not support, that is baby sitting. Not saying you'd do that, just letting you know that is generally very ill received and often the wls post-op says comments like that make them want to eat MORE stuff they are "not supposed to" as a big f-you to the person making them to feel like a child. Most people who get WLS want to feel like they can eat like a "normal", balanced person... just in smaller portions.
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Old 09-18-2012, 02:04 PM   #10
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Good point Maryposa. Thank you for your input. I do JUDDD which is a form of IF so I don't think I would be critical of what he's eating (I eat very little one day, and normal portions the next). It's definitely something to be aware of though.
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Old 06-06-2013, 08:59 AM   #11
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Just a quick update in case anyone is looking into WLS and finds this thread. DH had the surgery last November and had no complications. He's done really, really well. He's not quite 7 months post-op and has lost around 145 pounds! He still has a bit more to go, but he looks and feels GREAT!

He never went to any of the support groups, so I didn't either. I wish he would, if only to support others, but it's his choice.
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Old 06-06-2013, 10:34 AM   #12
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Wow! Sounds like he's having fantastic success! Great!
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Old 06-07-2013, 04:38 AM   #13
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That's great, Dawn! My hospital has 2 WLS support group meetings a month, one in the evening and one on a Saturday morning. Our group welcomes spouses and other support people. My sister and niece attended the May meeting with me, and even participated in the discussion. I highly recommend attending a few times, if only to meet other WLS patients. I learn alot from other people's successes and struggles - both here on this site and at my monthly meetings.
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