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Old 03-12-2018, 09:24 AM   #181
GoBahnsen
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Hey GB! Sorry I disappeared. I didn't want you to worry...lol. If you ever visited my OTHER journals, you'd know why. LOL. Just kidding. I am doing my Lenten thing and said I was going to not be on the internet so much and devote time to prayer.. etc. Well, I have more or less been doing that however I am back to posting.. LOL

Still not drinking. LOL. I am missing coffee. I will probably go back on Easter.

I went to the prison in Moose Lake Friday to talk to the inmates in the chemical dependency program and share my story as well as to talk about 'success principles' for recovery. One of the guys there had the book I wrote in 2015- which is about my recovery. He said, "When's the next one coming out?" and suggested I write another book about life with 15 years of sobriety under my belt.

I felt like that guy spoke into my life, big time. I do want to write another book, but I procrastinate and let other things get in the way of that goal.

I thought of a title.. "Fifteen to Life - Staying Sober in Spite of Myself." What do you think?

I also would like to write about witnessing and sharing the gospel with others. That one will probably be called "Jesus Likes Journey" (as in the band). It's a long story.. lol

Anyway, I am glad to see you GB. Thanks for worrying about me!!
Hey DL glad you're still around. Certainly no need to post everyday. Do whatever you feel like. But do let us know you're ok from time to time.

I didn't know you are an author. That's pretty cool. I like the titles of your books. I can't improve on em.

Sounds like you're doing ok, but I'm sure the job situation is still unlovely.

The weather won't cooperate with our upcoming trip, so we have to postpone. Wouldn't matter anyway, my right hip area has gotten progressively worse, to the point that I'm on crutches.

Not sure what it is yet. CT scan tomorrow. Could be the chemo weakened the hip bone and I have a fracture? It's a whole new life on crutches. Can't carry a cup of coffee around. Everything is a big deal.

But I can still drive. Yay. Not sure what the plan will be for recovery, if any. A wheel chair may be in my near future. Not sure if they will want to stabilize the area somehow for less movement.

I doubt they can do surgery when I'm on chemo. Probably too risky. My main hope is to avoid the hospital at all costs. Let me recover at home please.

Well that's what's goin on friend. I'm glad you checked in. God's blessings on your possible new books.
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Old 03-12-2018, 06:13 PM   #182
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Hi GB! Sorry to hear about your hip. I'm glad you can still drive though. You help remind me to be grateful for the little things.

I am still weary with work. Always on Mondays I guess. But things get better as the week progresses...

I actually applied for a part-time job at Barnes and Noble. I haven't told anyone but DH. I just thought it would be fun. I only want to work a couple of shifts a week. DH feels bad and thinks it's unnecessary- wants me to be able to be home every evening. Well, I applied anyway. If they call me we will see. I think I'd like talking to people about books. I haven't worked in retail for years. It would be interesting to see how I do with it. If it made my student loan payment, that would be cool.

Well, I'd like to maybe plan a big party for my 15 year sobriety birthday this August. Maybe invite a bunch of people over. Yeah, I say that now, but probably won't want to when the time actually rolls around..lol

Hope you have a quick recovery. You're in my prayers. Maybe God will do a miraculous healing. I do believe in that.

My church has a healing cancer ministry. People come and get laying of hands. I know of stories where people have been healed and even a lady with M.S. who got out of her wheelchair and walked. Keep your hope alive, friend!!

There's this great book I have called 'PUSH' by a pastor called Jergen Mathesius. I really love that book. His motto is "Push! Pray Until Something Happens." I've read and re-read and highlighted and dog-eared that book. Maybe it would inspire you, too.
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Old 03-14-2018, 10:17 AM   #183
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Hi GB! Sorry to hear about your hip. I'm glad you can still drive though. You help remind me to be grateful for the little things.

I am still weary with work. Always on Mondays I guess. But things get better as the week progresses...

I actually applied for a part-time job at Barnes and Noble. I haven't told anyone but DH. I just thought it would be fun. I only want to work a couple of shifts a week. DH feels bad and thinks it's unnecessary- wants me to be able to be home every evening. Well, I applied anyway. If they call me we will see. I think I'd like talking to people about books. I haven't worked in retail for years. It would be interesting to see how I do with it. If it made my student loan payment, that would be cool.

Well, I'd like to maybe plan a big party for my 15 year sobriety birthday this August. Maybe invite a bunch of people over. Yeah, I say that now, but probably won't want to when the time actually rolls around..lol

Hope you have a quick recovery. You're in my prayers. Maybe God will do a miraculous healing. I do believe in that.

My church has a healing cancer ministry. People come and get laying of hands. I know of stories where people have been healed and even a lady with M.S. who got out of her wheelchair and walked. Keep your hope alive, friend!!

There's this great book I have called 'PUSH' by a pastor called Jergen Mathesius. I really love that book. His motto is "Push! Pray Until Something Happens." I've read and re-read and highlighted and dog-eared that book. Maybe it would inspire you, too.
Hi DL Just wanted to start a response post, but don't have much time at the moment.

Let me know how the book store story develops. I can relate to your DH. My wife will talk about going back to work and my immediate thoughts are "oh no, that will take her away from me."

I already struggle with her busy volunteer life and her over-abundant female friendships. She is one busy lady. Gone a lot.

I used to not care so much. I'd just take off up North, go camping.

Will come back to this. Have some things to say about God and healings.
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Old 03-16-2018, 10:41 AM   #184
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GoBahnsen, so sorry to read about your health problems. I hope you are mending.

I am wanting to rejoin this thread. I started it with good intentions, but obviously wandered off the path. The beer tasted good, but my extra 20+ pounds are my reward.
Payoff is always short term with the booze.
Anyway, I am doing soul-searching this week and will be looking in here.

Be well and prosper.
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Old 03-16-2018, 12:47 PM   #185
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This is my biggest struggle. I can handle not having beer or harder drinks, but I truly miss my red wine. I have a real love affair with it... but I mustn't.
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Old 03-16-2018, 05:32 PM   #186
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Rob, what are you goals re not drinking?
Are you needing to avoid red wine because you drink too much or because it subtracts from weight goals, or what?
I used to drink too much red wine, but have lost my taste for it. Not sure why, but it's a small blessing.
My problem is beer, an old habit, ale especially (reading earlier posts, that's a craving GoBan and I share). Sometimes I think if I didn't gain weight, I would just keep drinking. But alas, I have gained an inner inner-tube around my waist in the last 8 months. Damn!
But I am aiming to get back on the wagon.
I can do it if I can keep my head in the right space.
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Old 03-16-2018, 05:57 PM   #187
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Rob, what are you goals re not drinking?
Are you needing to avoid red wine because you drink too much or because it subtracts from weight goals, or what?
I used to drink too much red wine, but have lost my taste for it. Not sure why, but it's a small blessing.
My problem is beer, an old habit, ale especially (reading earlier posts, that's a craving GoBan and I share). Sometimes I think if I didn't gain weight, I would just keep drinking. But alas, I have gained an inner inner-tube around my waist in the last 8 months. Damn!
But I am aiming to get back on the wagon.
I can do it if I can keep my head in the right space.
Well I love red wine so much that I do end up drinking too much of it. Nobody should be able to drink two bottles of it on a Friday night and be in decent shape Saturday morning. If I drank the equivalent amount of alcohol in beer or other drinks, I would have a bad hangover. But wine became something more to me - I can take or leave the others. And of course, switching to a low-carb lifestyle means cutting out the wine altogether (no, I can't enjoy one glass once in a while. I'm just not that kind of person)... so that's what I did. It's hard, but it's not impossible. I just have to focus on other things. A site like this is invaluable!
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Old 03-17-2018, 05:00 AM   #188
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I have difficulty with the one drink now and then, too. The amount will creep up.
So I come to the same conclusion that you do. It's better and easier to cut it out completely, even more so to drop some pounds. That said, it takes a some time for it to become easy. Sounds like I've been here before, and I have.

Time to dust off those projects and spend more time outside. My dog agrees!
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Old 03-17-2018, 05:42 AM   #189
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Yeah, it's hard to break the habits we enjoy the most. I've been here before too. But this time I want to shed a few pounds and that gives me an extra incentive. I've put all the wine glasses, etc. away so they are out of sight and out of mind. I'll also be saving some bucks!

BTW Patience, I added you as a friend, although I don't know what exactly that does. LOL!
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Old 03-17-2018, 07:54 AM   #190
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Hi everyone! I'm glad you're still here on the nondrinking challenge! We can keep the thread alive til GB returns.

I will celebrate 15 years of sobriety this August. I know it's probably not a life or death thing for you guys, but I'm happy to support you however I can!
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Old 03-17-2018, 09:02 AM   #191
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Hi everyone! I'm glad you're still here on the nondrinking challenge! We can keep the thread alive til GB returns.

I will celebrate 15 years of sobriety this August. I know it's probably not a life or death thing for you guys, but I'm happy to support you however I can!
Thank you! It's not unreasonable to think that there will be times in the future when I could use a reassuring word or two.

I don't know what GB is?
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Old 03-17-2018, 10:03 AM   #192
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GB is GoBahnsen -- recent and longtime poster on this thread.

Thanks DL, I always welcome support, which is why I always find my way back to this forum.
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Old 03-17-2018, 10:12 AM   #193
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345 days here and going to enjoy a nice run on this St Pats day while social media is full of booze posts.
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Old 03-17-2018, 10:17 AM   #194
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345 days here and going to enjoy a nice run on this St Pats day while social media is full of booze posts.
That sounds like a great way to spend it. This morning I was reminiscing with DH about some past St Pats days and dumb things I’ve done. I live near St Paul and there will be a large drunken festival there today.
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Old 03-18-2018, 02:12 PM   #195
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GB, good to read that you are back home!
Sounds like an adventure, to put it mildly.

My St. Pat's Day was completely uneventful.

I have no drinking urges and sticking to my eating.
Hoping I don't lose focus as I go back to work after a few days off.
I am feeling determined, so knock wood.
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Old 03-19-2018, 08:48 AM   #196
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GB, good to read that you are back home!
Sounds like an adventure, to put it mildly.

My St. Pat's Day was completely uneventful.

I have no drinking urges and sticking to my eating.
Hoping I don't lose focus as I go back to work after a few days off.
I am feeling determined, so knock wood.
Good morning DL, Rob, Patience and Hayek. Nice goin on 345 days Hayek!
that's a really long time without alcohol.

I'm tempted to talk about how wonderful ale is with Patience, but that wouldn't be helpful now would it? My wife snuck me in a couple of ales on my discharge day. Such a bad boy I am.

I thought I was done with beer when I started my cancer battle. No doubt the slow progression of my tumors is NOT helped by feeding them beer sugar.

It's like having this cancer is a terrible thing, but the one bright thing in my life is the beer. My dad was a life long smoker. He just wasn't himself without a cig going. He'd have me bring him cigs while in the ER.

He'd get out of his bed and escape thru a side door for a smoke and then go back inside. It made him feel like a free man instead of a hospital prisoner.

I really don't belong in this thread, but since I have fought beer in the past and I have had some success, I decided to post in here just to hear how others handle it.

Then DL showed up and became a fast friend. But I am certainly not trying to quit the beer right now even if it is hampering my efforts to beat this cancer. Isn't that weird?

I don't know. Depression also plays it's part in dooming the cancer patient. I'm happy with my ales, and down in the dumps when I'm going straight. Those two dry days in the hospital were tough to handle.

I'm not like a hard core alcoholic with the shakes. I can't quit flat out and feel zero withdrawal symptoms. It's more of a boredom thing. It's like chips without salsa. Some people like their chips dry.

Well, should I stick around in here or go? I know I'm not very encouraging. I am proud of all you guys for being able to say no to something you once loved. Except for Hayek and DL who have both expressed the negative side of drinking that made it easier to quit.

It was a must for DL. And Hayek found alcohol to be a take it or leave it substance, so he left it.

I guess since beer is contributing to my cancer, it should be a MUST quit, right? But I kind of hate life without it. The question is, which is worse for the cancer? A bummed out patient with no beer or a happy patient with beer?
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Old 03-19-2018, 09:50 AM   #197
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^^^ Tough questions GB. I totally understand what you mean when you say you can quit with no withdrawal symptoms, but it's more of a boredom thing. I relate to that (it's wine with me, not beer, but still...) - it had become such a part of my life that it was intertwined with various activities. I miss it terribly. I did not give it up because it was destroying my life on an alcoholic level. It's just impossible to lose weight and drink several bottles of wine per week. One thing this has shown me is that I am not an alcoholic if I can just give it up like this - even though it's tough. So I'm glad about that, because to be honest, I did wonder from time to time.

I wish you all the best.
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Old 03-20-2018, 08:02 AM   #198
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^^^ Tough questions GB. I totally understand what you mean when you say you can quit with no withdrawal symptoms, but it's more of a boredom thing. I relate to that (it's wine with me, not beer, but still...) - it had become such a part of my life that it was intertwined with various activities. I miss it terribly. I did not give it up because it was destroying my life on an alcoholic level. It's just impossible to lose weight and drink several bottles of wine per week. One thing this has shown me is that I am not an alcoholic if I can just give it up like this - even though it's tough. So I'm glad about that, because to be honest, I did wonder from time to time.

I wish you all the best.
Hi Rob Thanks for sharing. I'm wondering how old you are. I'm 62 and when I was younger it used to scare me that I might become an alcoholic.

Sometimes I'd quit out of fear of that. As I got older I became less concerned. Add to that the fact that I'm so convinced of the reality of heaven, that I don't really fear death.

I know that sounds like a cop out and I'm sure that God isn't impressed with my lack of self control, but then that brings us to all the things people do that involve a lack of self control that will result in a shortened life.

For me it's good ale. For others it's too much red meat. Or non organic foods full of junk that causes cancer. But people eat it because they like the price. Some just cannot afford quality food.

Anyway, I can relate to being young, not overly convinced of the existence of God and fearing death as a result, I'd get scared and quit the beer. At times for years at a stretch.

I loved life and girls and I certainly did not want to kill myself. My love of girls was also a powerful motivator. So I'd often cut way back on beer to get buff and go girl shopping.

It was like a no choice kind of thing. You want a cute girlfriend? You better have money or be in shape. But those days are long gone, never to return.

Even up until recently, before the cancer diagnosis, I got into the best shape of my entire life in my 50's. But that was because of a shaky marriage. I thought I might have to girl shop again and I didn't have money.

But I could quit the beer to get in shape. I do not have any of that motivation anymore. Beer is my fun... period. Take it away and I feel lost. And in this cancer battle, which has it's own unique depression that goes with it, beer is an escape from my nightmare.

Why is it a nightmare GB? I thought you didn't fear death? I fear the process of dying, just like anyone else. Pain, suffering, the tears of loved ones who don't want to lose you.

I've gone on long enough. I hope you stay strong and healthy my friend. And giving up the wine is a smart thing to do. Keep it up
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Old 03-20-2018, 11:32 AM   #199
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Thanks GB. I am 40, and I appreciate this thread... I've found it a bit tough to "fit in" on this forum so far, but I find stories like this interesting and helpful. All we can both do is stay as strong as we can, right?

And yes, we all have our crutches that lead to a shorter life. I've just given up several of mine at once and still going strong with them all, so I feel pretty good about that.

Thanks for responding, have a great day!
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Old 03-21-2018, 06:38 AM   #200
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Wow, lots of good thoughts here. Glad for the input of everyone at various places with alcohol.

So yeah. I don’t really think of myself as an “alcoholic” either or really prefer to use that word- except in the rare circumstance where I might find myself in an AA meeting and feel the pressure to conform to the group think.

I’ve been working in the CD field for 12 years. GB knows my angst and conflicting feelings about it, lol. We now categorize drug and alcohol dependency as ‘substance use disorders’ of varying severities- mild, moderate or severe. They can change with life circumstances- not necessarily this thing you are labeled with for a lifetime.

I didn’t customarily drink daily either- and i could quit anytime. I quit from various timeframes of up to 18 months. The problem was, I never “stayed stopped.” When I went back, it inevitably caused unwanted consequences and chaos.

I think the test for determining a problem is relatively simple. Do you enjoy it, and does it create pleasure and satisfaction- or do you constantly regret and it and it brings unwanted things into your life?

For me it was blackouts. I blacked out from a very young age and was like a Jeckyl Hyde. I could never predict what would happen once I started. Maybe nothing bad would happen, or maybe I’d wake up in some strange place. I never knew so I took that risk every time I drank.

I didn’t have a ton of the symptoms people typically use to determine alcoholism, or the things people rule out to tell themselves they’re ok. I could go weeks and not drink- but then have a bad binge. I had a good job. Stable housing. My daughter was taken care of. I did get 2 DUIs 19 years ago but even that is relatively mild by today’s standards.

For me, alcohol continued to take away from my life so I’ve stayed completely abstinent for almost 15 years. But some people can moderate and enjoy its benefits.

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Old 03-21-2018, 07:57 AM   #201
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Wow, great post deanslist. I really relate to a lot of what you say. Congrats on 15 years of sobriety, that's an achievement to be proud of!

I always considered the fact that I had a different kind of 'drinking problem' than what is normally associated with that term. I didn't need to drink every day, I had no hidden bottles in secret drawers. I generally drank twice a week, but when I did, I couldn't stop. I was only happy if there was always enough wine to last until I had to fall into bed. If it ran out too early in the night, I got miserable and childish. This is what led to the increase in quantity when I would go wine shopping. "Gee, I'd better buy three bottles this time. Not that I need three full bottles but I might need a little more than two.".... "Gee, I should get a tall can of beer to kick off the night before I even open the wine, just to unwind..." etc. etc. The realization eventually came to me that I couldn't drink a little bit, or enjoy a glass of wine with dinner. Or even drink a decent amount. I could only drink a lot.

For me, there were never any physical withdrawal symptoms when I would take a break from drinking. But I'd find myself on a Friday night wondering what to do with myself... I just worked all week and now I don't have the reward I always looked forward to. And that level of boredom or feeling I was missing out would inevitably lead to only a week or two 'off the bottle'. This time around, I made the firm decision to improve my life on various levels, and the mindset is completely different. It's like quitting smoking: you gt cravings for it now and then, but you push past them and remind yourself why you are doing what you're doing. I miss it, I still love it, but I don't pine for it the way I did the other times. I've accepted that I just can't have it. I can't have Scarlett Johansson either, but life goes on once you accept that.
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Old 03-21-2018, 03:44 PM   #202
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Wow, great post deanslist. I really relate to a lot of what you say. Congrats on 15 years of sobriety, that's an achievement to be proud of!

I always considered the fact that I had a different kind of 'drinking problem' than what is normally associated with that term. I didn't need to drink every day, I had no hidden bottles in secret drawers. I generally drank twice a week, but when I did, I couldn't stop. I was only happy if there was always enough wine to last until I had to fall into bed. If it ran out too early in the night, I got miserable and childish. This is what led to the increase in quantity when I would go wine shopping. "Gee, I'd better buy three bottles this time. Not that I need three full bottles but I might need a little more than two.".... "Gee, I should get a tall can of beer to kick off the night before I even open the wine, just to unwind..." etc. etc. The realization eventually came to me that I couldn't drink a little bit, or enjoy a glass of wine with dinner. Or even drink a decent amount. I could only drink a lot.

For me, there were never any physical withdrawal symptoms when I would take a break from drinking. But I'd find myself on a Friday night wondering what to do with myself... I just worked all week and now I don't have the reward I always looked forward to. And that level of boredom or feeling I was missing out would inevitably lead to only a week or two 'off the bottle'. This time around, I made the firm decision to improve my life on various levels, and the mindset is completely different. It's like quitting smoking: you gt cravings for it now and then, but you push past them and remind yourself why you are doing what you're doing. I miss it, I still love it, but I don't pine for it the way I did the other times. I've accepted that I just can't have it. I can't have Scarlett Johansson either, but life goes on once you accept that.
I'm glad the not drinking is going well for you! I know what you mean about looking forward to the reward, feeling like you're missing out, etc. I definitely felt that way during the first time I quit for 18 months in 1999-2001. I felt like i was being cheated of all the fun, was very resentful, and full of self-pity. So after many months of feeling that way, I decided to resume 'controlled drinking' only it was pretty unmanageable from the get-go: i.e. drinking and driving, etc. I decided to make myself miserable for two more years.. lol. Anyway, I think that process was necessary and worthwhile because it enabled me to see the progression and that it was getting continually worse. It's not a problem unless it's a problem for you, until you internalize that and decide what you want to do...ya know what i mean? I mean everyone else can think it's an issue, or the law can tell you that, but until it hits you (the gravity of what the chemical is doing) it's meaningless. I'm not sure if I'm making sense..lol. It's like there's this growing discrepancy within about the way you're living and after a while it compromises your values in such a strong way that you can't continue doing the behavior. At least that's what happened for me.

Ok, I've rambled on enough. I hope you keep checking in and letting us know how you're doing! And LOL at the Scarlett comment..
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Old 03-21-2018, 04:09 PM   #203
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I'm glad the not drinking is going well for you! I know what you mean about looking forward to the reward, feeling like you're missing out, etc. I definitely felt that way during the first time I quit for 18 months in 1999-2001. I felt like i was being cheated of all the fun, was very resentful, and full of self-pity. So after many months of feeling that way, I decided to resume 'controlled drinking' only it was pretty unmanageable from the get-go: i.e. drinking and driving, etc. I decided to make myself miserable for two more years.. lol. Anyway, I think that process was necessary and worthwhile because it enabled me to see the progression and that it was getting continually worse. It's not a problem unless it's a problem for you, until you internalize that and decide what you want to do...ya know what i mean? I mean everyone else can think it's an issue, or the law can tell you that, but until it hits you (the gravity of what the chemical is doing) it's meaningless. I'm not sure if I'm making sense..lol. It's like there's this growing discrepancy within about the way you're living and after a while it compromises your values in such a strong way that you can't continue doing the behavior. At least that's what happened for me.

Ok, I've rambled on enough. I hope you keep checking in and letting us know how you're doing! And LOL at the Scarlett comment..
You are making perfect sense actually. I completely understand, and while I was careful enough to never drink and drive, I certainly did allow drinking to negatively effect other aspects of life, particularly with friendships... which, while repaired, are never quite the same. For me, part of letting go of all of that is to accept that some of the damage you've done cannot be 100% fixed.

One thing that I'll never miss is that dreadful feeling of waking up in the morning, foggy on the details of the night before, and wondering what you might have said or done. Most of the time if I was with people (I drank alone mostly), I would hear stories the next day that were "you were hilarious" etc. etc... but I never felt comfortable hearing about something I had said or done, but didn't remember. Even if it wasn't seen negatively by those around me. I always felt like I was the only one who didn't remember everything that happened the night before. Awful feeling, I love being clear in the mornings now.

Thanks for listening, this stuff kind of spills out when you have someone who understands on the other end.
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Old 03-21-2018, 07:25 PM   #204
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Hey Rob and DL, good posts. I think you are both making a lot of sense. You are inspiring me to almost think about quitting myself.

This is a complicated one for me right now. Talk about "rewards', going thru this chemo and now recovering from femur surgery, I feel like I must be rewarded.

It's like what is happening to me is so awful, that if I can get my hands on some beer and actually enjoy it, then everyone get out of my way. Lol.

I'm going to the men's retreat this Friday thru Sunday. My leg has been such a painful recovery that at times I wondered if I wanted to venture away from familiar surroundings. Like navigating a new bed.

I had a good day tho. Took a big dose of ibuprofen today and got some relief for a couple of hours. But the dose is a real liver buster, so I don't want to keep it going.

Well guys, keep up the good posting. Talk to you later
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Old 03-22-2018, 08:10 AM   #205
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GB, I feel you are deserving of a reward too for going through what you've been going through. If beer brings you some pleasure, maybe you should enjoy it. I'm just thinking out loud, certainly not giving advice. You know what's best for you.

Stay strong. I'll do my best to do likewise.
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Old 03-22-2018, 12:18 PM   #206
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"BTW Patience, I added you as a friend, although I don't know what exactly that does. LOL!"

Haha! I don't know either, but happy to have you as a friend.

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Old 03-22-2018, 12:37 PM   #207
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GB, medically speaking, have your doctors said anything about drinking?
I can understand being tempted by some relief, however temporary.
At least, that is how I would likely react to anything near to what you are facing.

I am doing fine without, but early days.
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Old 03-22-2018, 12:43 PM   #208
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"BTW Patience, I added you as a friend, although I don't know what exactly that does. LOL!"

Haha! I don't know either, but happy to have you as a friend.
Well, so far it shows you as a friend in my friend list. YAY! Now we know.
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Old 03-22-2018, 12:52 PM   #209
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So I'm at 350 days and I just received some awesome news - I accepted a job at a place I have long wanted to work and plan to be a lifer at.

One of my friends was like "out of all days to drink, this is one of them!"

While I'm not going to do that and am normally not one for "treats," I think I am going to get a celebratory pint of Halo Top.
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Old 03-23-2018, 02:50 AM   #210
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Hi everyone! Just chiming in here to stay active, lol. It's great to hear all the success stories and positive things that not drinking has brought to people's lives. I kinda agree with Rob GB- if a couple of beers make you happy and don't cause unwanted consequences- I don't see the problem with it.

That reminds me of a funny story. My DH went to see a doctor because of feeling like crap- they were trying to figure out what was wrong. He mentioned that he likes to have some coffee and chocolate during the day and also maybe a can of soda in the evening (if I could be so lucky to get away with that, lol). Anyway, at first they were trying to push him to get off all that, but after he spent a hour telling them about his extremely high-stress job, they were like, 'um, why don't you keep your coffee and chocolate if you enjoy it.' and they totally backed down.. LOL

Congrats on the new job, Hayek. I know for a fact that quitting drinking caused a lot of blessings to start rolling into my life.

It's like I've had two lives... the life 'with alcohol' and Life After Alcohol. WA and AA. lol. Like BC and AD. When I was drinking, I had drama, chaos, repo man at my door- lol. That's a true story that happened to me one time, of course I was able to sweet talk them and get caught up on my car payments, but I digress. Anyway, I had one terrible marriage with alcohol forced by my own stubborn will, however I have a wonderful 23 year old daughter from that. When I got serious about quitting and surrendered to a sober life, I was blessed with a wonderful marriage and two more sweet daughters.

I guess I have a good career as well...but the CD counseling really wears on me. I got my masters in physiology and biochemistry in 2011 and always thought I'd go do something else- cardiac rehab, I don't know... but that hasn't happened. It's not that I'm lazy or haven't tried. My job search waxes and wanes and I have been putting out a few applications per week, but nothing has come my way.

It continues to feel like God has me where he wants me right now, so I'm trying not to fight his plan.

Yesterday in group, one of my clients was graduating and we were going around passing her medallion and giving her words of encouragement. Almost every person was pushing meetings on her and saying things like, "you need to get into meetings, you're going to slip" blah blah blah. It was hard for me not to 'have an expression' over that- I just hate it when people push some blanket approach for everyone. Anyway, when my client had a chance to speak, she shared that she didn't like meetings because they made her depressed and she felt as though she was carrying all this baggage of problems and negativity and I was like YES YES YES! (in my head, of course) because that is the main reason why I don't do meetings. I get enough of all that in my work life, and I just could not see myself going out in the evening to get more of the same.

I know not ALL meetings are that way, and that some people do find a great group that works for them. It's just that my primary experience has been a lot of people very new to recovery, going in an out of the meetings, in crisis.

Ok, I've veered all over with this post. Hope you all have a great day!
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