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Old 08-24-2017, 06:55 AM   #571
Deb294evr
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Izzy! Wow you are going through so much too! I pray for the best for your Brother. Cancer is such an awful thing and affects so many of our loved ones. Thinking of you and your family
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Old 08-24-2017, 07:01 AM   #572
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Izzy! Wow you are going through so much too! I pray for the best for your Brother. Cancer is such an awful thing and affects so many of our loved ones. Thinking of you and your family
Thank you Deb! Glad you and Shari are back here, I've missed everyone!
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Old 08-24-2017, 08:21 AM   #573
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Good morning ladies!

Deb-I'm so glad your mom is getting help! How scary!! But some good will come out of it and that's a blessing in disguise! Stopping the gaining is a good place to start! I'm right there with you!

Shari- glad things are smoothing out for you too! I need some structure or motivation! I'm willing but weak! Emotional eating has been bad for me all summer .

Izzy- how are you feeling? I'm so sorry about your brother! I will be praying for him
, and the family!

I'm doing well. Finally on a higher dose of thyroid med and feel more like me! Cleaned and organized my bedroom and our disaster of a laundry room the last few weeks...whew! Huge job! Tackling things one at a time, but I've let the house go so much this past year...
We moved our 2yo to a new family late Sunday night. She's doing well there and it's a good fresh start for her. We are trying to enjoy the last few weeks with baby Z, as she'll be moving to her grandparents in early September .

I need some suggestions on woe. Thinking about IF or 5:2? Not sure I want to give up carbs, and that hasn't helped me lose well in the past. I don't want to do the medifast again, the soy is bad for my thyroid but it did work and was relatively painless.

Let's set some goals? Maybe holiday ones? Thanksgiving or Christmas? What's do you think? Maybe a challenge?
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Old 08-24-2017, 08:28 AM   #574
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Good morning ladies!

Deb-I'm so glad your mom is getting help! How scary!! But some good will come out of it and that's a blessing in disguise! Stopping the gaining is a good place to start! I'm right there with you!

Shari- glad things are smoothing out for you too! I need some structure or motivation! I'm willing but weak! Emotional eating has been bad for me all summer .

Izzy- how are you feeling? I'm so sorry about your brother! I will be praying for him
, and the family!

I'm doing well. Finally on a higher dose of thyroid med and feel more like me! Cleaned and organized my bedroom and our disaster of a laundry room the last few weeks...whew! Huge job! Tackling things one at a time, but I've let the house go so much this past year...
We moved our 2yo to a new family late Sunday night. She's doing well there and it's a good fresh start for her. We are trying to enjoy the last few weeks with baby Z, as she'll be moving to her grandparents in early September .

I need some suggestions on woe. Thinking about IF or 5:2? Not sure I want to give up carbs, and that hasn't helped me lose well in the past. I don't want to do the medifast again, the soy is bad for my thyroid but it did work and was relatively painless.

Let's set some goals? Maybe holiday ones? Thanksgiving or Christmas? What's do you think? Maybe a challenge?
Yes! I'm up for a challenge. Either holiday works. My weight was 210, but down to 206 this morn with all the stress I guess. Food wasn't too bad until the past two days. Not having any pain at the moment (except for my pf in my feet), haven't had to increase prednisone! yay

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Old 08-25-2017, 03:45 AM   #575
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I've missed you all as well! So much happening, it's easy to forget ourselves and just focus on the immediate situation.

Deb, that is scary! I'm so glad that you were there to witness the seizure though so doctors would know and can help her. That does explain her falls...wow. I pray she continue to recover now with new meds. I'm with you on doing something, I really need to focus on getting this weight off, again.

Izzy~ I'm sorry to hear about your brother, prayers for him and your family. I pray he takes to treatment. Yes, I'm up for a challenge, I do best in challenges! Let's come up with something... Also, glad that you're pain free!!

Julie~ I read your journal to get an update. Glad to read that M has been placed with another family and is doing well, such a tough decision for you all to make I'm sure. You all are/have given so much love to Z, you're the reason she'll continue to do well thriving with bio family. I know it's going to extremely difficult when she's placed with grandparent, praying you all are comforted doing that time. I'm scheduled to see my doc Tuesday to get tested again. I've been having horrible foggy-brain, irregular sleep, moodiness and feeling tired some day. I feel your pain, glad you're feeling more like you! We have so much on our plates, when not feeling well it takes so much more of an effort to get through the day.

All, I'm up for a challenge and setting a goal through Christmas or heck, the NY LOL. I'm going on a cruise with sis and mom at the end of September and normally that alone would motivate me to do something, but I think I have diet fatigue after an emotional whirlwind of decisions and changes. I don't do well with change, but I understand and know it's a part of life and personal growth. I am trying to reign in the carbs and sugar because I have come to terms that I feel best without it in my diet daily, but realize that I'll never completely give it up totally for life...moderation is key. I've thought of JUDDD, WW-type eating, and of course hhcg...nothing has 'stuck' mentally to make me start. However if I have support of you all, it'll be easier to do.

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Old 08-25-2017, 04:50 AM   #576
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Izzy glad you are pain free! I am also up for a challenge of some sort. Still praying for your brother. Your weight is not bad at all to me.. I am about in the same place.

Julie, I also have been keeping up with your journal also and am so amazed how things worked out for M. I know handing over Z is something you don't even want to think about. I hope you have peace and take some time for you and your family.

Shari, I hope they figure out your thyroid meds also. Those symptoms are very telling!! Another cruise? NICE!! I would be in for a New Years Challenge also. All these changes in my life also put me in a strange place.. I need stability in my life and now my DD and DGS are moving out next weekend. Luckily not very far away..

Mom is doing better today. The long time mystery is now solved we hope and she is on her anti seizure meds for the rest of her life. She is mentally back to normal now, thank god..

Wishing you all a wonderful Friday!!! I am staying home with her today and will just have a long weekend. Time to put a plan into action soon. Reading and watching videos again for motivation.
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Old 08-25-2017, 06:44 AM   #577
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Julie~ I read your journal to get an update. Glad to read that M has been placed with another family and is doing well, such a tough decision for you all to make I'm sure. You all are/have given so much love to Z, you're the reason she'll continue to do well thriving with bio family. I know it's going to extremely difficult when she's placed with grandparent, praying you all are comforted doing that time.
I did too Julie!
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Old 08-25-2017, 06:48 AM   #578
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We are having an early 4th birthday party for my brothers Grandson Tyler at my Dads on Sunday. His big bash is next Saturday and don't know what shape my brother will be in then. I tried ordering a spiderman birthday cake without much luck for Sunday. Sams could get it by 3:00 pm but the party is at 1:00. When I told the woman my brother was very ill and we had to move his grandson's birthday up, she said she could have it done at 11:00. Yay! I woke up after 4 hours of sleep this morn, thinking about my brother (like every morning since I found out last Saturday). Had a bit of a cry. So glad it's Friday. Going to help my Dad out tomorrow and see my brother if he it up for it. Just saying prayers he's well enough to go to the party on Sunday.
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Old 08-25-2017, 06:51 AM   #579
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Wow Deb! That is so wonderful!! (Odd to say, right?) so great she is back to herself and will be much better going forward! I'm really glad you're home today with her. Enjoy the end of summer and your lovely weather, some quieter time and love that you're building up some motivation! I should do that too!

Shari-we could do a few waves of a challenge. I need some kind of deadline to get my mind back in it. I'm with you, diet fatigue is rough! I just don't wanna deny myself anymore!!! I'm so glad things are settling down for you! Change is so hard! I hope your Dr listens to your symptoms...it's a real fight to actually get help these days!

Izzy-good! Im glad you're up for a challenge and so glad you're doing better! What a year you've had!!

I looked back at photos from a year or so ago, before my thyroid tanked and my weight went up. I now just want to be back where I was. I even looked good earlier this year after losing 20 lbs on that medifast plan, but couldn't keep it off. I'm in a self indulgent time and it just has to stop!! I can't keep rationalizing snacks and crappy foods because I'm in an emotional season...I need to just say no!

Ok, lets do a Thanksgiving challenge first! I need a faster deadline to get cracking. Then a Christmas/NY one!

Let's set a few goals-daily, weekly, monthly whatever works for you. I need to think about it and decide what I can do and am willing to do.

Have a great weekend all!
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Old 08-25-2017, 06:52 AM   #580
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Oh izzy, I'm so sorry! Praying for him, and you!
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Old 08-25-2017, 06:58 AM   #581
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Ok, lets do a Thanksgiving challenge first! I need a faster deadline to get cracking. Then a Christmas/NY one!

Let's set a few goals-daily, weekly, monthly whatever works for you. I need to think about it and decide what I can do and am willing to do.

Have a great weekend all!
I would be up to posting a daily goal. With my bad feet, even walking around a block would be a major thing for me right now. LOL. Plus for me it doesn't have to be just food/exercise it can be self care acts like meditation, affirmations etc....also
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Old 08-26-2017, 05:26 AM   #582
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Okay, I'm down for an initial Thanksgiving challenge. Izzy, I like the idea of a daily accountability post to state if we are meeting our personal goals. For me, I know one of my personal goals is to get back into yoga or some type of exercise regimen (even looking into taking a yoga class near me). I'm still deciding on what plan to follow for WOE, need to think about it more this weekend; I'll be ready by Monday to post it.

Also Izzy, wonderful that the baker could accommodate and get the bday cake ready earlier. I hope the party goes well and your brother is up to it...I know it's a bittersweet moment.

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Old 08-28-2017, 09:49 AM   #583
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Hi ladies!
The party went well. One of the many presents my brother John got his grandson was a toy fishing pole. They spent some time with my brother showing him how to cast in the front yard. His daughter was on the verge of tears throughout the party. This is such a difficult time. He is in his first chemo treatment as I type. He will do that for 5 hours and do a pump at home for 3 days. Im praying he doesn't get too sick (he said he would forgo chemo if he got sick). I only slept 4 hours last night the past two nights, so it will be challenging today. I can do my walk in the neighborhood right after work and make a 7:30 meeting. I do 12 step meetings and have hardly made any since medical leave. They really help my "head" so I need to get back. By Thanksgiving I'd love to be 190 again.

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Old 08-28-2017, 10:34 AM   #584
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Hi ladies!
The party went well. One of the many presents my brother John got his grandson was a toy fishing pole. They spent some time with my brother showing him how to cast in the front yard. His daughter was on the verge of tears throughout the party. This is such a difficult time. He is in his first chemo treatment as I type. He will do that for 5 hours and do a pump at home for 3 days. Im praying he doesn't get too sick (he said he would forgo chemo if he got sick). I only slept 4 hours last night the past two nights, so it will be challenging today. I can do my walk in the neighborhood right after work and make a 7:30 meeting. I do 12 step meetings and have hardly made any since medical leave. They really help my "head" so I need to get back. By Thanksgiving I'd love to be 190 again.
Praying for you, your brother and family. THIS IS ROUGH!!! no 2 ways around it, and I hope you all get some relief, some rest and the best outcome possible!
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Old 08-28-2017, 01:19 PM   #585
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Izzy- glad the party went well! We'll be praying for your brother...it's got to be so hard! Daily goals are good, I should have more time in the next few weeks to check in. Self care is something I'm bad at keeping up with, but I need to work on that too!

Shari-I'm with you, exercise needs to be a goal too! I'm still on the fence with a woe...I'm going to shoot for a calorie goal for now, and reduce or eliminate sugar too! Sigh, still not motivated but want to shoot for something!

Weighted in at 176 this morning!! definitely need to change!

Goals:
Reduce or eliminate sugar (once a week allowed a treat)
Try for more salads and veggies
Meal replacements when possible
Shoot for about 1500 cals/day initially
Join a gym and go 3x/week!! (At least to walk, but need to get back into lifting too)

Day 1-510 cals so far...should be a light day. Away game for dd(17) tonight, at 6, so dinner will be a protein bar!

Not sure what I want to see by thanksgiving...low 160's should be attainable. I was mid 150's in early May, which is my ultimate goal again. Not sure I could get there by end of November, but as close to the 150's as I can would be lovely!
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Old 08-29-2017, 02:48 AM   #586
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Izzy I was thinking about you, glad the party went well, but know it's extremely difficult right now for you and your family...of course for him too. I'm still praying, power in numbers!! Great goal number!

Julie, it's simply unbelievable how fast the gain happens! It takes weeks for it to come off then only a matter of half that time (or less) to return. Your goals should help with you getting back into the 160's.

Deb~ how's your mom? I know you're going through transitions too, hope it all turns out for the best for everyone.

I have a doctor appt. today; not looking forward to the scale. Isn't that sad, I'm more focused on the scale than the actual reason I need to go....test thyroid numbers. Just noticed that while typing my thoughts out. Nothing to do but move on.... I did well over the weekend except for last night. My oldest son treated me to Cold Stone Creamery yesterday It was a special time, I didn't resist the treat...again, moving on.
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Old 08-29-2017, 06:04 AM   #587
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Julie, I love your goals! Attainable and realistic! Good luck, one day at a time!!

Shari, good luck with your DR. APPT and yes, I can relate to worrying about the number on the scale rather than what you are going in for!!! The mind is a powerful thing!!! I hope you can get some help with your Thyroid numbers if there are problems.

My Mom is doing better, but we have 4 followup specialists to see in the next month and she is so OVER IT! Over being probed and all that at 82 years old. She just wants to get on with her life and now that we know about the seizures she can rest easier. She is on more meds now than she has ever been in her life, so she doesn't want anything else. I can understand.

I need to get something going for the weight loss challenge but I have been so overwhelmed with basically handling this all alone, although I do have 4 sisters!!!! I am tired. I need more help and they better start pitching in!..
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Old 08-29-2017, 06:53 AM   #588
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Morning Julie, Shari and Deb! My brother did well with chemo yesterday! I went to a meeting but the time was posted wrong, so I called a friend and walked in the park last night. Sleeping is really bad right now. Slept from 5am to 7am this morn. Feel sick at work from lack of sleep. It was bad before brain surgery, but seems even worse now for some reason. Thankfully, I live a mile away so I don't have to drive far. I too need to clean up my food. 3 birthdays in the past week and way too much cake. I'm aiming to detox from sugar/wheat this coming 3 day weekend.
Deb, hope your sisters start to pitch in and help with your Mom.
Shari, glad you spent some special time with your son. Good luck today at the doctor!
Julie, I keep thinking that this fall will be time to focus on you. You give to so many others.

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Old 08-29-2017, 07:42 AM   #589
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Thanks Izzy! Good job on walking!! Glad your brother did well. Will keep praying!

Shari-if your numbers aren't good ask the dr to listen to your symptoms too!! It's a hard thing to get the meds right and I am only a year into it and still not optimized!! You are doing great, and taking those opportunities to enjoy our kids is huge! I'd have enjoyed that too!

Deb- on the mom support. So glad she's doing better but I understand the stress and weight of managing that! Hang in there. you're in survival mode right now...teh challenge will be here when things quiet down a bit for you!

I'm down to 174.4 this morning. Came in at 1200 cals yesterday. Better. Not sure how low I'll stay today but trying to reign in my hunger is a challenge!!

I am going for a job interview today. It's a work from home customer service job for Norwegian cruise lines. Not sure I even want it, but worth a visit .

Take care all! I'm off to find something somewhat professional looking that actually fits right now
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Old 08-29-2017, 10:17 AM   #590
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Deb~ I totally understand being very overwhelmed right now, just do the best you can. You're looking out for everyone and it's emotionally (plus physically) draining. I see with my mother having my grandmother living with her that once it seems one sibling takes on most of the responsibility, every one else just falls back. I hope you're able to relay to them effectively that you need help. Take care of you too!!

Izzy~ oh wow, I know you're tired!! I hope today passes quickly so you're able to get home and rest. Wonderful that you were able to call on a friend and take a walk instead---I'm with you on needing to clean up the food. Glad your brother did well with chemo yesterday.

Julie~ Congrats on the scale going down. Good luck with job interview today---I should look into that too, love talking about cruises! I've never been on Norwegian, but am going on one next month...looking forward to it. This is a new doctor that replaced the previous one(she retired--was very good). So far, she seem good and will do a complete panel for thyroid and other levels. She mentioned maybe doing a sleep study to make sure I don't have sleep apnea; she want to rule out everything. I told her to my knowledge I don't stop breathing while sleeping, but she said my symptoms could mimic this too. They now do this at home, so I'll take it if recommended.

Wow, something about getting on the scale and seeing a number to help jumpstart...I weighed 204.5, might as well say 205. I haven't been this high in a looong time. I'm feeling desperate now (not enough quit for hhcg), but to have more control. For now, going to try calorie counting, exercise with low carb. I'll see what it looks like by Saturday and decide if I need to go more strict.

ETA: I'm so on the fence about doing low carb for the umpteenth time because it seems to not work well anymore and any little treat, I blow up! I'm going to research and see... (typing my thoughts out LOL)

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Old 08-30-2017, 11:00 AM   #591
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Good afternoon ladies! I was pretty much good for nothing yesterday, but I didn't succumb to the cupcakes and chocolates on the counter in front of my desk. My body collapsed and I slept 10 hours last night and was a half hour late to work. I will definitely walk today, I was aiming to go to the Y and dog paddle but the pool is closed for rehab until Sept 17th.
Shari, we are about the same weight (I may be more now with cake week, need to weigh) it really sucks. I'm still trying to figure what plan to get on. Last August after doing low carb for 3 weeks and losing 11 pounds, I developed this autoimmune disorder. I'm still nervous about losing weight and exposing who knows what in my body. I was thinking kidney/liver cleanse with dandelion tea a couple of times a day to start....
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Old 09-01-2017, 06:58 AM   #592
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Good afternoon ladies! I was pretty much good for nothing yesterday, but I didn't succumb to the cupcakes and chocolates on the counter in front of my desk. My body collapsed and I slept 10 hours last night and was a half hour late to work. I will definitely walk today, I was aiming to go to the Y and dog paddle but the pool is closed for rehab until Sept 17th.
Shari, we are about the same weight (I may be more now with cake week, need to weigh) it really sucks. I'm still trying to figure what plan to get on. Last August after doing low carb for 3 weeks and losing 11 pounds, I developed this autoimmune disorder. I'm still nervous about losing weight and exposing who knows what in my body. I was thinking kidney/liver cleanse with dandelion tea a couple of times a day to start....
Izzy~ it does suck, big time! I totally understand why you'd feel nervous, maybe drinking the cleanse could help throughout the weight loss process...never thought about that--good idea! Because I'll be going out for a few more events too, I decided to do OMAD for now until I can settle things down a bit and hibernate more at home. I tend to lose better in colder months because of this. How's your brother, hope he's continuing to do well with treatments.

Julie~ All I can do is ....seems to not be words to help comfort you right now (I read your journal). I pray you're able to get through this tough spot with having to transfer Z to Grandmother.

Deb~ how's it going with you and your mom? I hope you're able to have some down time over this holiday weekend.

I started OMAD (one meal a day) Wednesday after just not knowing what to do...I eat whatever I want, but only once a day. I'm telling you I've been stuffing my face and enjoying (thus far) the mental freedom. Just taking it one day at a time for now; so far, down 3lbs so it's start. I'm drinking a lot of water which is good.
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Old 09-01-2017, 07:22 AM   #593
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Thanks shari! I'm taking it a day at a time and bought waterproof mascara...it's been a hard few days already and we still have Z!!

I'm going to try to be somewhat good (diet wise) over the weekend. We're doing a staycation at a Marriott villas nearby and will be swimming a lot and loving on baby Z. I'm definitely an emotional eater which will be bad ... but I'm planning to finally join a gym and hope to drown my sorrows in exercise.

You guys are doing well reigning yourselves in...so hard!

The job was full time a bit unrealistic for me so I left the interview. I'm not desperate and don't want to be full time without a day off for 6 months!! I'll look for something seasonal...

Take care all! Have a fun weekend!
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Old 09-01-2017, 09:46 AM   #594
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Hi ladies! I am on the run, but wanted to just check in. I am doing ok, no eating plan formally. Just trying not to eat too much! I am still leaning towards Weight Watchers Simply Filling or Core plan, because there is no counting and I don't want that right now!.. I will attempt to stick to whole real foods and see how that goes..

Izzy congrats on NOT eating the good stuff.... Sounds like your body needed to crash! Good luck and still praying for your family!

Shari, one meal a day sounds good for you, I know you did well in the past on it, so go for it!!! One day at a time!!!

Julie, I can't even imagine what you are going through with Z...... my heart hurts. YOU are her Mom in every way that counts, and she is getting such a great start in life because of you and your family... I know that is not going to help right away, but remember that...

Drown your thoughts in exercise!! Great plan!!

Thanks for asking ladies, my Mom is doing so much better!!! One day at a time for her too!..
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Old 09-13-2017, 08:24 AM   #595
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Thanks Deb. It sucks, but nothing I can do to change it. I pray and trust that God is protecting her and that's about all I can do . I'm trusting that her grandparents will love her well and that God has another little one who needs our love and care now.

I lifted yesterday, second time, which is good. My knee and back are still a problem so I may try a few classes instead to see if my body prefers that. Straight cardio is too boring, which is why I love lifting, but my body may not be able to do the heavy stuff I like. Taking it slowly.

I miss Z, don't like "me" time and am at a bit of a loss. Dh and my Dd's still have their regular lives, but mine moved away . I know I need some self care, but I also fear filling my life up again making it really hard to take care of a new baby who will need us. It could take 3-6 months for a new placement so I went ahead and added our name to the list. Dh thinks it's too soon, and I agree, but in 3-6 months we'll be ready.

I'm following CAD/CALP. well, I'm going to fast today then do it tomorrow. It's easy and healthy and I think I can sustain it. I'll be adding in more exercise with it and hope to slowly lose 20lbs and comfortably wear all my clothes again! Still in the 170's, sigh.

hope you're all doing well! Check in when you can.
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Old 09-14-2017, 02:55 AM   #596
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Julie~ I think it's great that you're deciding to focus on yourself again, as hard as it may be, it's an area of control for you that's needed after feeling helpless about Z's circumstances...and the bonus is that it help your physically and mentally! I really feel for you...can't imagine my baby going somewhere else in one day, the adjustment period has to suck. I hope she adjust well with new family; what a blessing that you're able to visit and still have some contact with her. Your input to grands hopefully is well received since you are her first mom she knows. I hope you get a great placement soon. I'm with you, needing to lose at least 20lbs now to even feel somewhat comfortable again. One day at a time....

Deb~ my job is offering WW again with reduced prices. I'm actually considering it again and really giving it a 100% go. I think I'll find a community meeting though because the last WW instructor wasn't that helpful and motivating. The other members were great, but don't know if anyone from then will be there now. I have to make a decision today; I'm thinking what do I have to lose...but FAT, nothing else seems to stick with me mentally.

Izzy~ how are you doing? How's your brother? I pray he has taken to treatment well.

I'm going on a cruise next Saturday!! It sucks that I haven't lost any weight but I'm going to just focus on not gaining anymore weight and try to make the best of it. We're going to Bermuda; I've never been there or on a Norwegian cruise line so it's new for me all around.
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Old 09-14-2017, 05:19 AM   #597
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Good to see you ladies!! I read, but have no time..... booo... Anyway, I wanted to do a quick check in. Nothing has changed on the weight front for me in some time now. Still doing WW loosely but that does not work.

I agree Shari, I need to do it 100% for it to work. I hope you find a meeting you like if you decide to join! HAVE FUN on your cruise!!!

My Daughter and Grandson have been moved out for 2 weeks now, and I miss them so much!!!! Especially my Grandson.. So I make it a point to pick him up from Daycare a few times a week to spend time with him. He misses us too!!

My Mom is doing ok but sucking the life out of me....... She is so needy and it is not the fun kind of needy. We are adjusting, but I still think my Sisters should be sharing her. Not sure what to do on that.

Julie, you may not think so, but you really do need some ME TIME! I know how hard this is for you, but it is so important for you mental and physical health! I read your journal so know Z is not having the best time so far, praying for her and everyone!!! I pray you find peace.

Izzy, thinking of you and your Brother also.
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Old 09-14-2017, 07:58 AM   #598
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Thanks Deb and shari! Taking it a day at a time and trying not to worry. It's just really hard .

Deb-I'm sorry your mom is draining and your sisters aren't helping! I can commiserate there! Hope they chip in and she regains more independence. Glad you get to see your little cutie a few times a week still!

Shari-you'll have an amazing time on your cruise! Consider it loading befor hitting WW hard!

I fasted yesterday and am at 173 this morning. Now to get to work wth cad and stick with it. It'll be slow but doable. Like ww, slow and steady and healthier. We're used to hcg losses so anything less is disappointing, . Since none of those losses stuck we need to find a better way to lose it and still live our lives.

Taking it a day at a time...
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Old 09-19-2017, 07:52 AM   #599
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Still stuck in the mid 170's, sigh. Stupid body and hormones. I'm sure I would do better if I worked out but I just don't feel like it. I'll try to hit the gym today.
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Old 09-19-2017, 07:58 AM   #600
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Originally Posted by julieboolie View Post
Still stuck in the mid 170's, sigh. Stupid body and hormones. I'm sure I would do better if I worked out but I just don't feel like it. I'll try to hit the gym today.
You have alot on your plate emotionally. It's hard to move through depression.
Maybe force yourself to go there and once you are there you will get that motivation. I can't speak. I bought a new swimsuit to go back to the Y once the pool reopened (last week) and I haven't pushed myself to go. Regressing instead of resetting.

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