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Old 12-06-2012, 07:51 AM   #1
natural_born_texan
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People can be so discouraging...

I work in a small office with just a few other people, one of them being my mother. I came in this morning after being on induction for almost an entire week, and proudly announced that I was down 3lbs, and my husband is down 13lbs. Within two minutes, I got the following 3 responses:

1. "That's a good diet until you decide to eat regularly again, and then all the weight starts coming back..." to which I replied, "Why would I want to eat 'regularly' again?" and two of them laughed and almost simultaneously said, "Why wouldn't you??"

2. "Isn't eating all that fat bad for Jaysons heart?" And when I said "people actually get better numbers back on Atkins," she just looked blankly at me.

3. "What are you going to eat at the office Christmas dinner?" (Italian restaurant) And they proceeded to hand me a menu...as if to challenge me! (Note: I was going to avoid the office dinner because I haven't been in a real socializing mood, but now I think I ought to go, just so they don't think I skipped out because I was afraid to tackle the menu.)

Is it natural for people to want to sabotage others who are trying to do something good??

I sure am lucky to have this board!
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Old 12-06-2012, 08:00 AM   #2
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wow, how rude of them!
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Old 12-06-2012, 08:03 AM   #3
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Good for you for standing up for yourself! But at the same time, don't expect to change anyone's mind. Not that it's impossible (I used to be stubbornly anti-Atkins myself!) but it is unlikely. Just go on being yourself and doing what you know is best for you.

And, yeah, when people are in the midst of their addiction to bread, pasta, cookies, cake, etc. it is hard/impossible for them to imagine not wanting those things. You, on the other hand, have been set free!
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Old 12-06-2012, 08:04 AM   #4
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Yes, it's natural, especially when they don't understand it.

My stepmother thinks it's horrible that I eat this way; and my 15 year old daughter just this morning said she heard low carb is really bad for you. I asked her if she heard that from her classmates, and she said no, she heard it from other adults, so then I asked her if any of them have ever tried it, and she said she didn't think so.

I've done a lot of research about low carb, and almost everything I read is positive.

Don't let other people deter you. Let your results speak for themselves!
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Old 12-06-2012, 08:05 AM   #5
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Yes it is natural for some people, who are not educated in this woe, to be rude. I would definitly go to the dinner!!
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Old 12-06-2012, 08:09 AM   #6
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I think people are seriously jealous when you start to get healthy because they don't want to do it themselves. They probably do not intend to be difficult or to hurt you. I get very defensive sometimes and I have to step back and realize that they really don't understand what I am doing, so I try to answer questions as reasonably as possible without getting personal and have more of an "informing" attitude rather than a defensive attitude. If others get personally upset by your way of eating, it is a reflection on them, not you
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Old 12-06-2012, 08:13 AM   #7
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I love the implication of "normalcy" in the American diet. DON'T YOU SEE THE FOOD PYRAMID? It has bread on the bottom, the foundation of America! Take that away, and America crumbles! You don't want to be responsible for the downfall of our great nation, now, do you? Huh? H-Hey...put those vegetables down!

Shame on you, miss. You come from Texas, the land of Texas toast. How could you forsake normal food and lose weight like some sort of weirdo? Sheesh.

Okay, serious mode now. Congratulations on the first steps towards healthfulness. Both you and your husband's losses are great news to hear. Keep up the good work and don't let others attempt to discourage you. You will succeed if you stick to it, and you'll be laughing all the way to the bank.
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Old 12-06-2012, 08:17 AM   #8
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Some people are just b-holes. I agree that they're probably a little threatened by your efforts. Misery loves company. It shows a lot of courage to start a program like this smack in the middle of the holiday season. Let their derision be your ammo for success when you're feeling tempted!
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Old 12-06-2012, 08:21 AM   #9
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I am sorry! I know this makes it so uncomfortable for you.
If I have a feeling that someone is not going to be understanding about my WOE I just don't discuss it with them.
Believe me, the more you lose and the longer you are on LC the better it gets with the comments.
I did not tell anyone except my husband until I had lost 30 pounds.
By that time people could see that it was really working for me and that I was seriously committed.
I have also accepted the fact that some people are never going to support my WOE and that has to be OK with me.
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Old 12-06-2012, 08:23 AM   #10
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A lot of my cyclist/runner friends have actually been very curious about it--they admit to not knowing anything about nutrition, but they're really curious about how it works and whether it will work for athletes--mostly because there have been a lot of famous athletes talking about and doing LC.
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Old 12-06-2012, 08:32 AM   #11
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I love the implication of "normalcy" in the American diet. DON'T YOU SEE THE FOOD PYRAMID? It has bread on the bottom, the foundation of America! Take that away, and America crumbles! You don't want to be responsible for the downfall of our great nation, now, do you? Huh? H-Hey...put those vegetables down!

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Old 12-06-2012, 08:32 AM   #12
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That too bad. I'm sorry that happened to you. When somebody announces they've lost three pounds, and is obviously happy about it, a nice thing to say would be, "Congratulations! What exciting news!".. so I'm saying that to you right now. You're off to a great start, and I know you will continue doing what it takes to lose even more and reach your goal.

Many of us just don't announce our lost weights because of comments like you received, and just quietly follow our plan and regularly make our appearance in smaller and smaller sizes. We make our glad announcements here where we know others understand and will support us.

But weight loss and following our various chosen eating plans isn't the only place where folks in the 'ourside' world don't give us the excited support we'd love to receive. If you want to turn a van into a camper, give up all the rest of your worldly possessions, and travel the United States, most of your friends and associates will think you're crazy as a loon. Those who will applaud what you're doing and be happy and excited for you are others who share your adventurous spirit like that.

And it's the same for a person who gets a ton of body tats, piercings, and body modifications. They are welcomed and admired and embraced by others who enjoy that, while some outside their base look askance.

Don't want to go to college like all your other graduating friends, but become a stable hand or a ditch digger or a simple lawn service provider? None of your peers will understand. They'll wonder why you don't want to live your life like they plan to live theirs. Or eat the diet they enjoy.

But you get to decide what you're going to do. Or eat. On whatever plan you want to follow. Pour over that Christmas Party dinner menu and decide what you can eat and enjoy. Eat beforehand so you don't go hungry. They'll certainly offer salad, right? You'll figure something out. Some plans are easier than others, but if you're determined, you can make a go of almost all of them! Good luck!
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Old 12-06-2012, 08:40 AM   #13
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Pour over that Christmas Party dinner menu and decide what you can eat and enjoy. Eat beforehand so you don't go hungry. Good luck!


Really good advice!!!!!
I always eat before I go to any of these type of things. I fill my plate with salad so that it looks like I am eating a lot.
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Old 12-06-2012, 08:46 AM   #14
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Old 12-06-2012, 08:55 AM   #15
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I just Love how people feel they have the right to comment with their stupid 2 cents on what others put in their mouths! No one Ever Ever said Anything to me when I was shoveling Cupcakes, pies and mashed potatoes in my mouth by the shovel full! But yet when I eat veggies, meats and almond flour muffins I get a shocked look like i'm smoking herion or something! Just keep doing what You are doing, get thinner and Healthier and show them That way!
Sorry I had to rant there! Lol
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Old 12-06-2012, 09:11 AM   #16
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For some reason people aren't happy unless they can throw their two cents in unfortunately most of the time it is not positive. People who are not happy with themselves become jealous of people who are doing something to make their lives better and happier by either sabatoge, rude comments or making that person feel less about themselves. It's their way of making themselves feel better by putting others down.
Can you call the restaurant where the Christmas party is being held and find out if they have any type of non-carb alternatives. We have an Italian restaurant here that makes the most amazing steaks!!

Keep your chin up and don't get suck in, the proof will be in your good health and amazing weight loss

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Old 12-06-2012, 09:11 AM   #17
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Originally Posted by princessmommy View Post
I just Love how people feel they have the right to comment with their stupid 2 cents on what others put in their mouths! No one Ever Ever said Anything to me when I was shoveling Cupcakes, pies and mashed potatoes in my mouth by the shovel full! But yet when I eat veggies, meats and almond flour muffins I get a shocked look like i'm smoking herion or something! Just keep doing what You are doing, get thinner and Healthier and show them That way!
Sorry I had to rant there! Lol


I'm sorry they were so rude to you! People react very strangely when you start losing weight - it's the rare person who is supportive. Maybe no one likes others to change.

When people ask me what I'm doing, I say I gave up flour and sugar. There really is no one who can argue that those things are good for you. Usually they are so repulsed by the idea of giving up flour and sugar that they back away. They can't imagine life without those items - and I understand because it was unthinkable to me before I got scared of my hypoglycemia.
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Old 12-06-2012, 09:18 AM   #18
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Good for you to stand up to them!!

They are "cranky" because they have too many carbs in the body and they are on an emotional roller-coaster

You go to that Christmas party just to show them that YOU can do anything that YOU want!!
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Old 12-06-2012, 09:18 AM   #19
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When people ask me what I'm doing, I say I gave up flour and sugar. There really is no one who can argue that those things are good for you. Usually they are so repulsed by the idea of giving up flour and sugar that they back away. They can't imagine life without those items - and I understand because it was unthinkable to me before I got scared of my hypoglycemia.
Yep. Atkins has a bad rap. People view it as a fad diet, and an unhealthy one at that.

If you mention losing weight and people ask "how", I would just say that you've cut out sugar and grains and leave it at that.

And, btw, YES I do think there is a tendency for others who are overweight (and female. Sorry.) to view someone (ie another overweight female) going on a diet as a challenge and a set up for failure. Usually it's because they have failed so many times themselves and are projecting those feelings onto you. Don't listen to them and don't engage them.
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Old 12-06-2012, 09:21 AM   #20
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The truth is most people fail at weight loss (if we all succeeded easily we would not be an obese nation, now would we?) Sad fact, but it is what it is. That said, the next point is human nature being what it is, we all feel like we KNOW the answer to other people's problems. And if it's weight loss, we tend to project our own experience onto others...sooooo, assuming these folks have tried & failed at weight loss, they are going to project try-and-fail at you...and that is true no matter how you lose the weight. My sister lost 50+ on weight watchers, and relatives did the same thing to her (telling her "as soon as you quit working out and go back to regular eating you'll gain it all back") She was doing the widely acceptable Weight Watchers, yet still heard the negatives.

Which brings us to the issue of not getting discouraged by others...the solution is: DON'T DISCUSS YOUR WEIGHT LOSS OR YOUR METHODS. Or how & what you eat. As the Nike folks said, Just Do It.

If you don't give people ammunition to sabotage you, they will not be able to sabotage you.

If pressed, just say you're cutting back on starch & sweets (not a lie...you ARE cutting back on starch & sweets.) And you can always claim to not be hungry (which you are not hungry for starch & sweets, right?) Worst come to worst, you can say you have a tummy upset (which you would have if you stuffed it full of starch & sweets, so even that is not a lie)

At the Italian restaurant, just order salad & meat. We have often eaten at Italian restaurants on low carb, and you can do just fine there (both national chain places like Olive Garden, as well as local "real" Italian places.) Even if the meat comes with pasta, ask for veggies instead...if it's no substitutions, just push the pasta to the side.

And here's the reward for your perservance...once you have lost an appreciable amount of weight...people's attitude changes. When they can see you have had a lot of success then they tend to be a lot more positive about what you have done & how. I find that the only negative I get now is "wow, you've lost a lot of weight. Atkins? Well good for you, but I could never eat that way. I love my pasta too much." So they're patting me on the back, but negative on their own self.
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Old 12-06-2012, 09:26 AM   #21
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Food is such a social minefield. I have come to realize that it's right up there with religion and politics. Many people are judgmental and defensive and seem to take it personally if someone eats differently from them. (I've watched my poor vegetarian husband go through it for years...) There's nothing to be done but just shrug it off and move on. It obviously represents deeper issues than just diet.

*I do have to say that the one comment that makes it hard for me not to roll my eyes is the one in which they say that the problem with low carb dieting is that when you go back to your regular eating you'll gain all the weight back. Well, duh. If you go back to "regular" eating on any diet you'll gain the weight back --- as almost all of us on this board can testify. Are they really claiming that people who lose weight with other plans are more successful long term? That's ridiculous.

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Old 12-06-2012, 09:54 AM   #22
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Italian restaurants offer tons of great low carb meals. chicken picata, chicken marsala and tons more. appetizers with mozz. cheese and more.

geez, no challenge that menu LOL


personally, socializing wtih those people doesn't sound fun anyway

I like to spend time with people I like. why waste time with them? lol
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Old 12-06-2012, 09:55 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by natural_born_texan View Post
I work in a small office with just a few other people, one of them being my mother. I came in this morning after being on induction for almost an entire week, and proudly announced that I was down 3lbs, and my husband is down 13lbs. Within two minutes, I got the following 3 responses:

1. "That's a good diet until you decide to eat regularly again, and then all the weight starts coming back..." to which I replied, "Why would I want to eat 'regularly' again?" and two of them laughed and almost simultaneously said, "Why wouldn't you??"

2. "Isn't eating all that fat bad for Jaysons heart?" And when I said "people actually get better numbers back on Atkins," she just looked blankly at me.

3. "What are you going to eat at the office Christmas dinner?" (Italian restaurant) And they proceeded to hand me a menu...as if to challenge me! (Note: I was going to avoid the office dinner because I haven't been in a real socializing mood, but now I think I ought to go, just so they don't think I skipped out because I was afraid to tackle the menu.)

Is it natural for people to want to sabotage others who are trying to do something good??

I sure am lucky to have this board!

Yup...happened to me when I was losing the weight, and even now that Im maintaining, i still get comments on my woe...ignore it. You'll have the last laugh.
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Old 12-06-2012, 09:59 AM   #24
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..........ove on. It obviously represents deeper issues than just diet. *I do ha...........
I think it's because food is such an major part of human social group interaction. All cultures through all times seemed to share the meal, offer others their food, holding feasts that marked special events, had celebrations that involved courses of food weighing down banquet tables. Holidays have special menus, families have special treasured recipes. Friendly, loving, happy human social interaction historically has so often included food and eating together and everyone sharing in the foods that were involved.

So when somebody declines to participate, to taste, to share in it, to do the 'bonding and mending fences' over the communal feast, there seems to be a subconscious affront to the other folks in the social circle.

That as close as I can think of why this seems to happen sometimes initially at a gut reaction level.
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Old 12-06-2012, 10:17 AM   #25
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I'm sorry you had to go through that. I echo those that say that discussing weight loss and methods is just ammunition we give to those less kind /rude people to attack us by. Let the weight loss speak for itsself. Wishing you and your husband lots and lots of success!
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Old 12-06-2012, 10:21 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by HappyHappyJoyJoy View Post
When people ask me what I'm doing, I say I gave up flour and sugar. There really is no one who can argue that those things are good for you. Usually they are so repulsed by the idea of giving up flour and sugar that they back away. They can't imagine life without those items - and I understand because it was unthinkable to me before I got scared of my hypoglycemia.
I agree. When I first started with LCHF, I was so excited about how easily I was losing weight that I told everybody. Soon I stopped saying anything all because of the comments I got about my new woe. As people started asking I just started saying that I gave up all grains and sugars (even natural ones). That usually was enough to satisfy them. I've lost over 30 lbs now though, and a couple of people have really asked for more details about what I am doing -- not to be critical though but because they are becoming more open to this from my results eventhough I still have a long way to go.

Oh, and congratulations!!!

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Old 12-06-2012, 10:47 AM   #27
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The social-outcast aspect is caught me by surprise--I wasn't expecting that to be the greatest challenge with a diet.

My family knows exactly what I eat, and when I visit they constantly hand me servings of (very generic) juice, chips, and fried food and put on a befuddled act if I decline. My work supervisor who provides everyone with a candy dish and orders pizza on Fridays has become openly hostile. I guess the only solution is to not let it get under your skin--if they see you won't bend then they'll stop trying.
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Old 12-06-2012, 11:36 AM   #28
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The social-outcast aspect is caught me by surprise--I wasn't expecting that to be the greatest challenge with a diet.

My family knows exactly what I eat, and when I visit they constantly hand me servings of (very generic) juice, chips, and fried food and put on a befuddled act if I decline. My work supervisor who provides everyone with a candy dish and orders pizza on Fridays has become openly hostile. I guess the only solution is to not let it get under your skin--if they see you won't bend then they'll stop trying.
I love that the stuff they try and hand off to you is the run-of-the-mill generic "foodstuffs," hah. I mean, c'mon guys! You could at least offer the organic apple juice instead of the Capri-Sun...

I can't help but fixate on your use of the term "openly hostile." You're serious? Good grief, the mind boggles. I've just gotta hear more about this one. The concept of hostility over one's decision to not eat pizza and candy is just...WHAT
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Old 12-06-2012, 11:43 AM   #29
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i do not believe they are being deliberately rude....

(i hope your mom isn't), they just do not know any better. The advantages of low carb are not widely spread throughout our fair land. I never bother to explain,. Life is too short. Kudos for working with your mom. I could not last a minute working with kinfolk, on this world or the others. Love & Profits: FLATFERENGHI
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Old 12-06-2012, 11:49 AM   #30
Melle's_Sweetheart
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Is it natural for people to want to sabotage others who are trying to do something good??
Not sure, but I do know that it is natural for people to act like lemmings.

How many people actually question the American Heart Association? Everyone takes their word as gospel, even though everything they advocate goes against the experiences of so many that have been successful on low carb diets. Much of the reason for this stems from the GOVERNMENT advocating the AHA themselves (terrible, IMHO)....

How many people question their doctor? I'm lucky to have a doctor who says "use any diet that works", but some have doctors that read them the riot act when they're on low carb.

When I first started low carbing, I remember people from England complaining that the pharmacy wouldn't sell them ketostix FOR FEAR that they were advocating low carb dieting.

It's a SICK world we live in when people don't question and do their own research.
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