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Old 10-19-2017, 07:33 AM   #901
GoBahnsen
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,877
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Stats: Have lost 42 lbs since Nov.19, 2013
WOE: Low carb my way
Start Date: 188 as of March 5, 2014 6'2"
Quote:
Originally Posted by schaferk View Post
I hear ya GB. Maybe don't understand all the feelings you are having since I don't have much of a church background but I have always believed in GOD and talked to him/prayed all my life. I believe he has listened to me at times. But then other times I say "how can there be a God that lets this happen"? Not trying to get into a big religion discussion or anything, we know each other well enough to know what each other believes in. Just sometimes I'm not sure which side of the fence I'm believing - I go back and forth. But always believe God is here and will take care of us. Mom was always making the old comment "All things happen for a reason, it's God's way". I think I do some wrong things tho - like sometimes I find myself bargaining with God, saying if you fix XXXXX for me I promise to be XXXXX forever. That is not right I know. I and KNOW it would be so petty to ask God to help me lose weight with all the other problems people have so I have not done that. But I have wanted to

I believe that miracles happen every day so I'm not giving up on anything even if I'm not doing that well right now on what I'd like to do for myself. Things will get better.

I got a chuckle out of hearing you talk about your helper. Sounds like you have a lot of fun on the job to an outsider but when the truth is some of it's annoying and you are just stuck with it, that's not the best. Ya gotta just hang I guess.
Good morning Kris We do know each other on certain levels. I have a general feel for what kind of life you have. But this morning I learned a lot more about your spiritual side. Or your faith side of you.

I'd love to converse with you more, about what it is exactly that you believe.
I guess it will come out in bits and pieces over time, We both know that this forum is not the place for trying to persuade another person of ulitmate truth.

But even as I'm dying (and we all are from the day we are born), the dross is coming to the surface and must be purified further. Not purified in the sense of qualifying myself for entry into heaven. Someone else has already qualified me for that based on His perfect life and death on my behalf.

But purified in the sense of hopefully hearing someday " well done thou good and faithful servant, enter into the joy of your Lord."

I think you should pray to God for help with your weight loss efforts. One ought never to think that God is too busy with bigger fish to fry. Remember, He steers all the stars in the sky, keeping each one in it's course. Nothing is too big or too small to involve His action.

So why would I not give up the beer, even after the cancer diagnosis (tho I did for a few weeks before I let it come back at sauna time)? A short answer is "because I could."

If we have a certain kind of stroke (like my dad's), we would come away without the ability to swallow. That would certainly solve the beer problem and all of the bad foods we eat.

Thankfully that is currently not what's helping me stop beer. But I am so close to that kind of reason, that it feels like a "cannot." With the metastasis to my left buttock and severe discomfort in my liver area, it's all I can do to put as much in my mouth as possible that will help (not harm) my last ditch effort to win the fight with cancer.

I discovered the probable "why" the tumor in my buttock is growing so fast (tho hopefully I am slowing it now). I learned that inside a tumor the cancer cells are always mutating. The ones that are the strongest and multiply the fastest sort of take over.

If these escape the tumor sack and enter the blood (and they do) and if they can form a colony and get a tumor going, it will be a faster growing tumor than the primary tumor.

Anyway, so as I go thru each day, without my old props to buoy me up, I am forced into a new world. And I am forced to stay in it, which is exactly what I needed. And for me, because of my religious background, I enter into that new world to find God in deeper and more profound ways.

That's why I said the suffering is worth more than gold. Isn't it obvious? If any human being gets closer to their Maker, that has to be more valuable than earthly treasures. Jesus put it this way "For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his own soul?"

I listened to guy on the internet last night (not a Christian) and he was telling his story with cancer. At one point in the hospital a man with cancer across the room asked him "do you know what my greatest wish is?" The other guy said no, how should i? Then he told him "to die in peace."

I already have peace with God, but since my life as largely been a charade before God, I'm excited to discover Him in a more real way. You don't find that when life is going along swimmingly. God isn't that important to you. At best He's an "add on" of some kind. And that's a place in the heart He will not settle for in anyone.
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Old 10-19-2017, 09:08 AM   #902
MSNLA
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Central VA
Posts: 45
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Stats: 174/169.8/135
WOE: Atkins '72
Start Date: restart 9/5/2017
I'm so glad you all are still here and haven't given up! I, too, would like to be a day 1-er with you again. I just don't have the same motivation I had in the early 2000's. I know when I am away for a long period of time, I'm shunning accountability.

Thanks for still be here to encourage me. We can do this!!!
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