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Old 02-09-2018, 07:56 AM   #1231
GoBahnsen
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Hi guys. Got back yesterday from our trip. It was a very good trip over-all. Not without some drama.

We took off a little late at 4:45 am. Believe me, every minute matters as Southern Californians wake up and begin to fill up the freeways. But with only a 15 minute delay I felt confident as I was doing 80 mph on a pretty wide open freeway.

After 20 minutes of progress I was running thru a mental checklist of what we brought and to my horror, I had forgotten the electric bike battery!!! That made the e-bike virtually useless.

My wife said to turn around. I said "no way". But I finally listened to her. All said, the traffic thickened quickly and we had to eat some slow and go. Not super horrible getting out of LA and I felt we had dodged a bullet.

Little did I know that the 101 going thru Santa Barbara was still jacked up from the mudslides. We crawled thru SB for the longest time. It's good that I had no idea it was coming or I would have been sick inside just waiting to get nailed. The extra time lost on the battery mistake did not help.

The bed and breakfast was new to us. It was charming, but had a learning curve that took more than day one to master. Like how to light the wood bring stove. So we froze on night one.

Day two I picked the perfect bike ride for us. It was so far, my battery ran out. But I got a lot of great cardio, which I haven't gotten in months.

The whole trip my stomach was not cooperating as it turned everything into indigestion. I smoked some medical cannabis on evening two and took a chance on going to an old favorite restaurant.

I ordered a rib-eye steak. Bottom line is that everything worked out well and we had a great night there.

On day three we normally try to take advantage of one more day in paradise and head home tired into a monster drive that ends in bumper to bumper traffic thru LA. This trip We left in the morning for a pretty smooth drive home in the day-light and without being tired from riding bikes all day.

Currently I'm fighting with DW for a third night so we can have that third day and drive home on the forth day. That's more than she wants, but hopefully I can charm her into seeing it my way.

The whole trip I was mindful that my eyes were seeing things that without the chemo I probably wouldn't be. Like not even here anymore at all. So that kind of perspective is really different. Only those of us who have gone thru it, know it. Everyone else has to simply guess what it's like.

Have a great LC day friends.
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Old 02-09-2018, 10:21 AM   #1232
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hi, GB. That sounds like an awesome trip. I enjoyed your descriptions of it all - and I Hope you get that extra night next time.

My dad is being discharged today and he's feeling ready to get going on recovering.
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Old 02-09-2018, 11:45 AM   #1233
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The whole trip I was mindful that my eyes were seeing things that without the chemo I probably wouldn't be. Like not even here anymore at all. So that kind of perspective is really different. Only those of us who have gone thru it, know it. Everyone else has to simply guess what it's like.

Have a great LC day friends.
Oh yes, I can appreciate what it's like. My brother got his shot and hopefully will have chemo on Monday. He's excitedly making plans to a trip to Costa Rica with his girlfriend (according to my Dad).
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Old 02-10-2018, 08:17 AM   #1234
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hi, GB. That sounds like an awesome trip. I enjoyed your descriptions of it all - and I Hope you get that extra night next time.

My dad is being discharged today and he's feeling ready to get going on recovering.
Very cool Casey Remember the swallowing aspect. Take it easy.
Prayers for a solid recovery and that mom will be supportive.

How's brother doing?

Thnx for liking my vacation post. I try to keep em brief. I didn't mention seeing the deer. Or that DW fell into a cattle crossing. She just failed to look down. She sure was thanking the Lord that she didn't break her ankle.
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Old 02-10-2018, 08:38 AM   #1235
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Oh yes, I can appreciate what it's like. My brother got his shot and hopefully will have chemo on Monday. He's excitedly making plans to a trip to Costa Rica with his girlfriend (according to my Dad).
Thanks for the update Izzy I know he isn't open to it, but when I was reading up on alternative methods, I'd see the ones where pancreatic cancer was beaten.

But I will never recommend alternative alone. So I'm glad he's getting chemo.

Hopefully Costa Rica with all the monkeys will lift his spirit and help to send some good chemicals to fight the cancer.
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Old 02-10-2018, 02:42 PM   #1236
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Hi, GB and All! Dad went home from the hospital yesterday - just 3 days!!! And my brother is doing great after detached retina surgery. I picked up my brother this morning and took him for groceries, then we drive out to mom and dads to visit and take some groceries to them. It was a nice get together.
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Old 02-11-2018, 06:44 AM   #1237
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Hi, GB and All! Dad went home from the hospital yesterday - just 3 days!!! And my brother is doing great after detached retina surgery. I picked up my brother this morning and took him for groceries, then we drive out to mom and dads to visit and take some groceries to them. It was a nice get together.
continuing to join with you in thanks giving. I remember the grocery days.

Before my parents passed away they both stopped driving. They had plenty of money for the rest of their lives, but didn't want to hire any help. So my wife and I became their care givers.

In looking back I wish I had been more cheerful about it, but I struggled a little that everything fell on me as the only offspring that lived nearby. If dad fell, I'd get the call to come pick him up off the floor.

We'd mention hiring some help, but that just wasn't their style. Dad was always saying "when you gonna bring over some more BBQ chicken?" So I'd BBQ again and again, and again.

You really don't know how long you will have this job, so it can wear on one.

Now that they have been gone several years, I could wish I had been more Christ-like to them. I did ok. I give myself a c+. Now I wish it was a b+.
But it was all new to me and I was learning the ropes of having parents depend on me.

The final years can seem long, but they're not. Once they're gone, you want so bad to say hello again. Express more thanks to them for all they did to bring you thru life.

Hang in there Casey and do your best to show them love.
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Old 02-11-2018, 07:02 AM   #1238
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thanks, GB - my frustration is more that they don't want or let me help very much... I'm so glad that I retired and have the time and energy to help, but I offer to clean, to shop or just take them out somewhere, but they don't take me up on it, but then my mom will make snide comments about us not doing anything. Plus, we know that any help we give will be criticized - it hard to do things right in my moms eyes, but I can't change that and I just try to be patient and not take anything personally - and help,when I'm asked to. At the hospital last week I heard my mom tell a neighbor who was visiting "the kids are busy and don't help much." It hurts when she says that. When I offer to make a meal or come over she says, "no, you're too busy." I walk a fine line to help without being intrusive. If I do too much they feel like I'm trying to control or take over. They can both drive, and as long as they have each other, I have to respect their boundaries. My brother put it well: they want us to be involved until we are!" I won't have regrets when they're gone and I'm glad I can be there for them, as needed. I was feeling a bit blue yesterday afternoon, feeling alone and unappreciated. I jump when my friends are feeling needy, but I couldn't get anyone to just get with me for a little while... I even offered to work on my best friend's Lego Millenium Falcon, but he wanted to do it by himself and then was going out with other friends. He said, "uh, you're welcome to come along...." Well, that's an afterthought. I was probably just being overly sensitive, but that's where I was mentally. Sorry for venting!

This morning I'm going to meet a guy who adopted a golden retriever and could use my dog sitting services... He lives next door to the three labs that I "nanny" - he's a pilot for an air ambulance so I feed, walk and spend the night as needed.

I hope you all have a blessed Sunday!!!
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Old 02-11-2018, 07:19 AM   #1239
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thanks, GB - my frustration is more that they don't want or let me help very much... I'm so glad that I retired and have the time and energy to help, but I offer to clean, to shop or just take them out somewhere, but they don't take me up on it, but then my mom will make snide comments about us not doing anything. Plus, we know that any help we give will be criticized - it hard to do things right in my moms eyes, but I can't change that and I just try to be patient and not take anything personally - and help,when I'm asked to. At the hospital last week I heard my mom tell a neighbor who was visiting "the kids are busy and don't help much." It hurts when she says that. When I offer to make a meal or come over she says, "no, you're too busy." I walk a fine line to help without being intrusive. If I do too much they feel like I'm trying to control or take over. They can both drive, and as long as they have each other, I have to respect their boundaries. My brother put it well: they want us to be involved until we are!" I won't have regrets when they're gone and I'm glad I can be there for them, as needed. I was feeling a bit blue yesterday afternoon, feeling alone and unappreciated. I jump when my friends are feeling needy, but I couldn't get anyone to just get with me for a little while... I even offered to work on my best friend's Lego Millenium Falcon, but he wanted to do it by himself and then was going out with other friends. He said, "uh, you're welcome to come along...." Well, that's an afterthought. I was probably just being overly sensitive, but that's where I was mentally. Sorry for venting!

This morning I'm going to meet a guy who adopted a golden retriever and could use my dog sitting services... He lives next door to the three labs that I "nanny" - he's a pilot for an air ambulance so I feed, walk and spend the night as needed.

I hope you all have a blessed Sunday!!!
wow Casey you really do have it differently from my situation. Kind of darned if you do, darned if you don't.

Yuck! I don't know what I would have done. It is horrible to be misunderstood. I don't suppose it would do any good to ask your mom just exactly how she'd like to be treated?

Pride is definitely involved in this. She wants help, but she's too prideful to accept it. So she pushes you away and then blames you for being too busy. But she has to vilify you or she has to take responsibility for her behavior. And it's just easier to vilify you and hang on to her pride.

That's one guess.
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Old 02-11-2018, 07:40 AM   #1240
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GB, when I was a kid growing up, back in the 50s, so many of my friends had older grandparents living in the home with them. Either their family lived in the grandparents home, or the grandparents were brought to live with them after they got too old to care for a home themselves. That isn't done anymore and I don't know why.

Casey, my DH is the same way. He is getting to the point where he has difficulty with things like mowing the lawn, clearing the snow from the driveway. I am unable to help and he refuses to pay someone. His children offer to come over to help, but he tells them no and they let it go at that. I wish they would just come over and do it instead of asking. He is never going to say yes, but he truly needs help. I say, if your parents need the help, don't ask. Just do it. Take a meal over without offering. Your mother might get nasty about it, but she will get nasty if you don't, also. At least then she can't say you don't help out. I don't mean to be preachy. I also did not do right by my mother before she passed away. Now that I am the elderly person, I understand more about it.

Also, I am not allowed to tell his children when he isn't feeling well. (my step-children.) I do sometimes tell them and tell them not to tell him I told them. So then they call him. "How are you doing, Dad?" "Oh, I'm doing good!" And that's the end of the conversation. One of these days they will get a call that their Dad is gone and wonder what happened.
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Old 02-11-2018, 09:00 AM   #1241
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Good Morning Everyone! I've been lazy all weekend, didn't even turn on computer Saturday. That's really lazy!! I didn't eat a lot either, stayed home and watched it snow We have about 11 inches on the ground / has snowed for the last 6 consecutive days. I've had a headache so just laying around. Gotta get up and do something today.

I've cut back on food the last couple days but don't know what today will bring. Hopefully I can stay on track and get losing a few pounds.

Hard being a caregiver to our aging parents. Both DH's and mine died fairly young and didn't require that. I miss them a lot. DH & I are still in pretty good shape and don't require help with anything yet & I hope we are moved away to a warmer climate when that time does come. Hopefully in a retirement type community where the harder things are covered in association fees! Right now we don't want to go that route but it will be the easiest in the soon coming years. It's hard right now for us helping with grandkids sometimes, but mostly we can do it. These four days in a row without the baby have seemed weird.

Wishing everyone a happy Sunday!!
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Old 02-11-2018, 02:07 PM   #1242
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Thanks for your thoughts, GB, Carol and Kris. I have done those things - just showing up to help or with meals... the result wasn't positive. Early last year my dad had back surgery and subsequently got an ulcer. I was making meals based on what he could have for recovery and mom said please stop, we are gaining weight. I was cooking low sodium, low sugar, lean protein. I eat clean/low carb, so I was spending a lot on groceries for meals just for them. My mom gets really stressed if I clean or do things without being asked - she takes it very personally, as me saying that she's not keeping up with things. My dad has told me not to visit as much, because she stresses out about cleaning the house when she knows I'm coming over. GB said it best - darned if you do, darned if you don't. Luckily my brother will be able to drive this week and he can help out, too. They relate to us differently, so we communicate about everything and take the heat off each other. Some things need to come from him and some things need to come from me. But on their terms. I'm very close to my dad, and my mom didn't have that with her dad, so she very much resents the relationship I have with him. It's complicated, but I never give up, never stop praying, and never stop trying. I know our challenges will increase as they get older and continue to have health issues and I will be there for them.

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Old 02-12-2018, 05:19 AM   #1243
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Good morning everyone. Any improvement at all Kris? I think I already wrote (but maybe not) about being denied treatment last Friday due to "super low" white cell counts.

I didn't realize how quickly they can disappear during chemo. I was doing so well on a Sunday that with the doctor's ok, we left on a Tuesday last week for that trip.

I think I even began to develop a chest cold on the trip. Then last Friday almost no white cells. The nurse made sure she struck fear into my heart by telling me that getting sick could lead to death.

But I've gone thru three rounds of a shot designed to cause the bone marrow to mass produce white cells. That and the doc put me on antibiotics. I think I'm gonna be ok.

I'm still symptomatic of a chest cold with lots of clear snot breaking up and being expelled. Sorry for the gross out. Plus I knew a lot on how to kick but_ on a cold. Did you know olive leaf extract is very good for colds and flu?
It has been known to help when antibiotics fail.

So order some if you want to shorten your cold/flu experience this season.

I go in for the targeted drug again today, but may not qualify again. Although the cold seems to be drying up nicely. I got a little spooked last night with thoughts of pneumonia and fever and hospitalization. Because you just don't know when your body lacks white cells.

That basically IS your immune system. Don't leave home without it.

Ok, that's my update since no one gave me a post to respond to. I though PAC had some good advice for Casey. But then Casey has already tried to help without being asked

Have a great LC day my friends.
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Old 02-12-2018, 06:46 AM   #1244
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Good Morning! Thanks for asking GB - Still no improvement. I just didn't talk about it the last couple of post because I was starting to feel like a big complainer, always whining about it. It's the same, no better no matter what I try. I've been icing, sleeping in brace, Ibufrofin twice a day and the ortho inserts for a really long time now. My life is changed - I'm used to sitting on my butt getting absolutely no exercise now; it's my way of life. I just got tired of saying the same thing about it over and over. But again, thanks. Everyone says it takes a long time to get better. If it's not gone in another month I will go to a different foot specialist and see if they something different. It seems like EVERYONE you talk to has had it so maybe I just have to wait.

I don't think I knew they denied you treatment last Friday - what happens now, when can you try again?
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Old 02-12-2018, 09:12 AM   #1245
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I didn't really think my suggestions for Casey would make her mother happy, but just stop her from saying that her kids are "too busy to help." I guess nothing will make her happy, sadly.

Kris, I developed heel pain when my employer changed our workstations from sitting to standing. 8 hours of standing did me in. Changing shoes to one with a slightly elevated wedge heel helped. Mine was probably from the change of position of my foot. Yours sounds like it's more complicated. I'm sorry that nothing is helping you. It's terrible to have foot pain. Have you gone to physical therapy? That helped tremendously with my bad shoulder.
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Old 02-12-2018, 02:03 PM   #1246
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hi, all!. I didn't know that you'd been denied treatment last week either, GB, so you must not have mentioned it. And I really appreciate everyone's input on my "mom issue" - it helps to be reminded that they won't be around forever and when they're gone, I'll miss the harassment - ha. Dad is doing awesome and we see the surgeon on Thursday for follow up and plan for going for forward - I hope he gets the "all clear" and that radiation and chemo are NOT part of the plan! My brother is also doing well - his eye will heal gradually and we'll see if he gets 100% vision back. I hope delaying treatment didn't impact his vision.

Kris I hope you start to see improvement soon - it's so frustrating to be sidelined and not able to get out and do things. I agree with the physical therapy idea - even if just to get ideas for speeding up the recovery.

GB - I've used oregano oil, but had not heard of olive leaf extract. I'm looking into it. I've also used elderberry syrup for immune system and allergies. I'm always on the lookout for natural things to support the immune system and shorten colds. And I rarely get sick. (Knock wood - haha)
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Old 02-13-2018, 05:58 AM   #1247
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Thank you CASEY & PAC & everyone. I appreciate all advice. The sad thing for me is I'm used to sitting doing nothing now day after day all day and it's become my life (hence the weightgain). I used to be the first one to jump up and got things for everyone, run the errands, get the mail, change the channel in the old days, etc. But now I ask DH to bring me this, bring me that, & I'm lazy and don't walk on the heel unless I HAVE to. I do get up to change diapers a lot with baby being on anitibiotics What a mess

In fact, gotta go change 2nd diaper in 10 minutes, More later....
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Old 02-13-2018, 07:08 AM   #1248
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Thank you CASEY & PAC & everyone. I appreciate all advice. The sad thing for me is I'm used to sitting doing nothing now day after day all day and it's become my life (hence the weightgain). I used to be the first one to jump up and got things for everyone, run the errands, get the mail, change the channel in the old days, etc. But now I ask DH to bring me this, bring me that, & I'm lazy and don't walk on the heel unless I HAVE to. I do get up to change diapers a lot with baby being on anitibiotics What a mess

In fact, gotta go change 2nd diaper in 10 minutes, More later....
Hi Kris I want to encourage you. I can relate in a way that might help. It got to the point with the cancer where I took time off of work and slept a lot. I didn't exercise and I was sort of preparing to die.

With no exercise and the cancer taking it's share of nutrients I was in atrophy and lost a lot of muscle. Then the chemo started and I quickly developed bad edema in my legs.

Whether fact or fiction I took it that I might have angioedema, like my heart wasn't getting the job done anymore. At that point something flipped, like a switch in my thinking. I wanted to take my life back.

Getting up early wasn't a problem, so early in the morning I started to bounce on the mini trampoline (which I hate). I wanted to get my heart and lymph system moving. I introduced my light weights back in along with a handful of push ups. I used to do 100 in a row, now I was down to three in a row.

But I was trying. I began to jog the length of my front yard. My heart would pound at that distance. I have kept this up for the past couple of months and my edema has slowly improved. The blood transfusion helped give me some breath back.

I realize your situation takes you off your feet. Ok, so the feet don't work. What does work still? I want to encourage you to take what does work and just start doing it. Sit down and lift light arm weights. Yes, it's boring, just like my re-bounder.

Lay on your back and do a few crunches. Don't start with a huge time commitment (unless you want to), but just start. No need to break a sweat. Just start something. I will go out to my front yard in a minute, as the sun rises, and do my little routine.

It's not much. I will never turn heads again. I'm bald with a nerf ball sticking out of my leg and my left buttock. I'm just trying to be smarter. Why should I die from cancer and a weak heart on top of it?

I know you're really down right now. You were a runner and a walker. That's gone for a season. It will come back. It's time to start doing something. You have a whole lot of body that can still move. Move it then, don't stay on the couch too much.

Keep the heart pumping blood beyond a resting rate. You can do this. You won't see any big results, but you will be doing it! Forget results, although I can do 20 push ups in a row now (no more only three). I'm still skinny and ugly, but I'm trying. I want you to get back to trying.

Maybe I have something wrong about my encouragement, but I just know that we can lose the "trying" part. That's too much to lose my friend. I hope you have a better day today.
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Old 02-14-2018, 04:47 AM   #1249
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Good Morning All!! Up early waiting for baby to come & icing my foot. Not much new here.

GB Reading your advice to me did help. I got on the stationary bike for 5 mins (still hate it pretty much) and then got on the floor for some back stretches, sit ups, arm lifts with small weights, etc. I've always done that a couple of times per week but had gotten lax in my newfound 'laziness'. While peddling the bike I do arm lifts with 3 lb weights and I do counter push ups. But I have really been in a funk lately, not wanting to do anything. I can't let this take over tho. I guess I kinda gave up and was eating more too, weight keeps inching up. It's really really hard for me if I can't run. Running was my answer for everything I guess - it always helped with getting weight off AND put me in diet mode to eat less. I've just got to accept I cant do it anymore and live with it. I also took the baby to the mall and walked around one lap. First time in a long while. So far foot no worse because of it, but no better either. But anyhow thanks, maybe your words got me off the couch anyway!!

Hope everyone is doing well.
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Old 02-14-2018, 06:08 AM   #1250
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good job, Kris - I think that breaking the pattern you were in was the best thing you could have done. We can do ourselves in mentally. We can think ourselves into defeat. Plus we need fresh air and sunshine. When I'm not feeling perky, I know that even a walk around the block, or just sitting outside in the sun will make me feel more positive.
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Old 02-14-2018, 08:03 AM   #1251
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Good Morning All!! Up early waiting for baby to come & icing my foot. Not much new here.

GB Reading your advice to me did help. I got on the stationary bike for 5 mins (still hate it pretty much) and then got on the floor for some back stretches, sit ups, arm lifts with small weights, etc. I've always done that a couple of times per week but had gotten lax in my newfound 'laziness'. While peddling the bike I do arm lifts with 3 lb weights and I do counter push ups. But I have really been in a funk lately, not wanting to do anything. I can't let this take over tho. I guess I kinda gave up and was eating more too, weight keeps inching up. It's really really hard for me if I can't run. Running was my answer for everything I guess - it always helped with getting weight off AND put me in diet mode to eat less. I've just got to accept I cant do it anymore and live with it. I also took the baby to the mall and walked around one lap. First time in a long while. So far foot no worse because of it, but no better either. But anyhow thanks, maybe your words got me off the couch anyway!!

Hope everyone is doing well.
Yay Kris Nice going to get off that couch. I agree with Casey
, it can be about small things. Of course I know that where you live can make it hard to sit in the sun. But when it's there, go get it.

There's a nasty cold going around this area. And looks like I found it too. Today I go in to get my white cell count checked out. It's weird to think that a cold can kill me.

Thankfully they have a shot that makes your bone marrow rapidly produce white cells. All chemo patients need it or chemo wouldn't be possible.

Anyway, I have just been a snot producing machine the last couple of days. My upper lip is sore from all the nose blowing. Fortunately I'm not blowing out green stuff.

I think I have this lion by the tail. Thank God for all the natural stuff he gave man in plants to fight off infection.

I can't wait to go on another vacation. But it's complicated with chemo and blood counts. You become a prisoner of these shots I talked about. I'm involved with the doctor's office or a clinic 5 to 6 days a week. I'm either getting an infusion or a shot.

So how do I go away for 3 nights? I came back from this last trip with almost no white cells! They do have an arm band that somehow medicates you, so that might be the answer.

I used to see these commercials (before I was a chemo patient) advertising it. I'd just shake my head when they rattled off the possible side effects. I'd be like "I will never take that stuff." But now it's take that stuff or die.

And the truth be told, I have found that the drugs I'm taking are not as freaky as they sound. So far my eyes aren't bleeding and I have no suicidal thoughts.

Drugs are saving my life right now. I was out in the country last week musing on vineyards with a cold beer in my hand. Without drugs I'd be in heaven instead.

Which of course is far better than cold beer and beautiful countryside, but it's that process of actually dying that freaks us all out, right? You should see my face when I feel threatened with eminent death!

When I swelled up after my blood transfusion and before my wife called the doctor to find out that is normal, you should have seen and heard me. I was sooooo serious.

I don't mind moving to heaven, but I do mind dying first. If you think it might happen any minute, all joking around goes out the window real fast.

Kris Keep up the good job.
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Old 02-15-2018, 08:04 AM   #1252
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An Update: Went in yesterday for blood work. My white cells were very high No shot needed. Last night I turned the corner on this nasty cold. I feel much better this morning, thank you.

I meet with the doctor tomorrow. Still trying to figure out how I'm not going to let myself hit bottom again on white cell count. Kind of tricky. Have a great LC day my friends.
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Old 02-15-2018, 08:11 AM   #1253
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That's good news, GB!. We have a follow-up appointment with my dad's surgeon this morning... Will hear his recommendation for path forward. I'm optimistic, based on how the surgery went and how recovery is going. I don't think he's walking enough, but I can't be the exercise police!
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Old 02-15-2018, 04:34 PM   #1254
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glad your cold is easing and you got your white blood cells up there GB

CASEY I hope your dad's appointment went well today.

I had a pretty good day, nothing going on really. I got on the bike for 10 minutes this morning and even got outside and walked 2 miles slowly. Took 45 mins but it was a start. Today was the most steps I've had on the fitbit since October. It was nowhere near my usual but its in the right direction. My foot still hurt some but seemed a little better so I dug out my old round bottom Sketcher shape up shoes and gave it a try. They are really old and very worn but in thinking back I realized I started having the Plantar Fis problem when I Stopped wearing them and they are really rounded in the center of my foot like a rocker. I know it's probably just a coincidence because these shoes are really in bad shape plus you can't even buy them anywhere anymore I don't think. The company was sued for false advertising and everybody returned them for a refund but I liked mine so I kept them. This walk today was less painful than everytime I tried to walk a couple of months ago Anyhow, we will see how it feels tomorrow but at least I was able to walk for 45 minutes without having to turn back in pain so I'll take it

PAC I went to Walmart to buy the turmeric but didn't see any with pepperine in it. It just said turmeric curcumin or something like that. How many mg do you take per day? Someone suggested magnesium and Vitamine B5 as a treatment too. I am so confused about supplements. Maybe I should order some on line. I am icing the foot now & keeping fingers crossed but I sure was happy to get moving a little!!!

I know my weight is still up but I'm afraid to get on the scale
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Old 02-15-2018, 07:19 PM   #1255
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glad your cold is easing and you got your white blood cells up there GB

CASEY I hope your dad's appointment went well today.

I had a pretty good day, nothing going on really. I got on the bike for 10 minutes this morning and even got outside and walked 2 miles slowly. Took 45 mins but it was a start. Today was the most steps I've had on the fitbit since October. It was nowhere near my usual but its in the right direction. My foot still hurt some but seemed a little better so I dug out my old round bottom Sketcher shape up shoes and gave it a try. They are really old and very worn but in thinking back I realized I started having the Plantar Fis problem when I Stopped wearing them and they are really rounded in the center of my foot like a rocker. I know it's probably just a coincidence because these shoes are really in bad shape plus you can't even buy them anywhere anymore I don't think. The company was sued for false advertising and everybody returned them for a refund but I liked mine so I kept them. This walk today was less painful than everytime I tried to walk a couple of months ago Anyhow, we will see how it feels tomorrow but at least I was able to walk for 45 minutes without having to turn back in pain so I'll take it

PAC I went to Walmart to buy the turmeric but didn't see any with pepperine in it. It just said turmeric curcumin or something like that. How many mg do you take per day? Someone suggested magnesium and Vitamine B5 as a treatment too. I am so confused about supplements. Maybe I should order some on line. I am icing the foot now & keeping fingers crossed but I sure was happy to get moving a little!!!

I know my weight is still up but I'm afraid to get on the scale
Don't even think about your weight right now. You can walk!!! Take your small victories and enjoy your senior years.

Keep us posted Casey on daddy.
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Old 02-16-2018, 07:27 AM   #1256
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hi, GB and Kris! I went into the appointment cautiously optimistic, and the news could not have been better: they categorized the squamous cell cancer as Stage 1A, margins are clear, lymph nodes are clear, not radiation or chemo, he can tape off the oxygen whenever he is ready, he sees the doc again in 3 months, then every six months for a couple of years! He hasn't taken ANY pain meds since leaving the hospital. Staples came out yesterday, too - 9 days post surgery! And he's free to resume all activities, except "heavy lifting," which he doesn't do much of anyway (at 82) - ha.

Thank you all for your encouragement and prayers.
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Old 02-16-2018, 08:13 AM   #1257
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hi, GB and Kris! I went into the appointment cautiously optimistic, and the news could not have been better: they categorized the squamous cell cancer as Stage 1A, margins are clear, lymph nodes are clear, not radiation or chemo, he can tape off the oxygen whenever he is ready, he sees the doc again in 3 months, then every six months for a couple of years! He hasn't taken ANY pain meds since leaving the hospital. Staples came out yesterday, too - 9 days post surgery! And he's free to resume all activities, except "heavy lifting," which he doesn't do much of anyway (at 82) - ha.

Thank you all for your encouragement and prayers.
Hi Casey That is great news. So much different than my cancer situation. It sounds strange to my ears that he doesn't see the doctor again for 3 months!

It's like I am starting to forget life before cancer. Where I NEVER saw the doctor for anything. Now it's 5 days a week for something. And this will probably never end for the rest of my one, two or three years I have left to live.

I'm not sure of my own feelings about it all anymore. You get so used to that "forever" feeling we all kind of have, where you just don't really see yourself coming to that day of actually dying.

And before cancer my DW could never quite get past the times I hurt her over the years. She was stuck in resentment. I knew it and I was always planning my escape from prison.

Then the cancer diagnosis and she just melted. It's like I got a "get out of jail card" for free. Suddenly I was wanted again. I became important again. She sees me and I can tell she is happy to see me.

We are really starting to enjoy each other's company after years of apathy and feeling like a piece of furniture.

It's almost like I appreciate my cancer. It made me special. Everyone loves you so much more when they don't know how long they have you.

And then there are those like your mom who apparently don't love more, even when faced with what was looking scary for your dad.

But as I continue to survive I do see less texts coming in from friends wondering how I am feeling. People are like "I thought he was dying so I took more of an interest in him, but look....he keeps living, so never-mind."

Well, sorry for the ramble. Life. The bible says it's a vapor that appears for a while and then vanishes away. I'm finding each day stranger than the day before. I get to the end of a day and I don't know what to do with myself.

Go to bed? Get up and do it all over again? I should try to help people more. Do some good before I depart. Heaven will be so different. No more boredom. No more waiting to die.
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Old 02-16-2018, 02:15 PM   #1258
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I had many of those same thoughts, GB - it's so unusual to hear a "happy ending" to a cancer story... And I wondered how many were taking more of an interest because he might be gone soon. And his attitude was different - he was making more of an effort with my brother, and trying to help my mom out more. I wonder too if a DIFFERENT diagnosis would have softened my mom, like you and your wife. You are so right - we have that "forever" feeling when we aren't faced with actually dying - which makes it easier for me to say that I'm excited to see heaven and to have bodies that are perfect and never fail us.

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Old 02-18-2018, 07:48 AM   #1259
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I had many of those same thoughts, GB - it's so unusual to hear a "happy ending" to a cancer story... And I wondered how many were taking more of an interest because he might be gone soon. And his attitude was different - he was making more of an effort with my brother, and trying to help my mom out more. I wonder too if a DIFFERENT diagnosis would have softened my mom, like you and your wife. You are so right - we have that "forever" feeling when we aren't faced with actually dying - which makes it easier for me to say that I'm excited to see heaven and to have bodies that are perfect and never fail us.
We think a lot alike. Good morning Casey and all the friends on this thread. How's dad doing so far?

And for that matter, your brother's eye?

I had a good Saturday. The sun was out here in California and I washed my new truck on the front lawn. Good exercise. Rode my e-bike quite a bit and sat in the sun a lot. Washed Dw's car too.

So I felt productive and yet made time for pure enjoyment as well. I was a good way to get thru a nice day.

I sure wish I had something going in my life that really interested me. In times past my main interest was getting up to the Santa Barbara area, whether with my wife and children or by myself (mostly by myself).

It was a real passion. I'd scheme about what method of camping I'd do. I'd tent camp, take our RV, sleep in my truck, built a camper on another truck. It was my life outside of work. I went some 300 times over a 15 year plus stretch.

Towards the end I got really buff and rode around without a shirt, looking for attention. And I got some. I thought I had arrived at the reason for living.

Tho all along I knew God was not pleased with my vain spirit. That's why, when the cancer diagnosis came I felt a sense of relief. I knew my days of being tempted to be seen, to be admired... were OVER.

I love having my wife back. But I am a bit stuck because I built so much of my life on sand, that now in my old age I am struggling for purpose, for meaning.

Like a man who is building an invention that will help millions of people have a better life and just so happen to make him rich at the same time. No more money worries.

As it stands I will paint houses until I can't move anymore. I want to go on these vacations with my wife, but she is a normal person who just can't run off and play every other week.

So I feel stuck. I am heaven bound, but again...since death is the gateway, most of us are like "can we just put heaven off a while longer please?"

Even Christian friends express their sorrow that I have cancer and will most likely die soon. Why? I'm going to heaven. That's infinitely better than going to Tahiti. Yet death remains an enemy.

So here I am on another day. I will go to church, but otherwise I will struggle some to fill the hours. My wife will go to a small group bible meeting this afternoon. I used to go but they spend so much time in "small talk." It drove me crazy.

So I will miss her for a couple of hours. I don't like that anymore. Life.

Sorry if I sound like a bummer. Have a great Sunday.
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Old 02-18-2018, 01:31 PM   #1260
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You're never a bummer, GB - you make me think deeper than I'd normally go. I think that even as Christians, we struggle for the "appropriate response" to cancer, or any sad event or diagnosis. I went on a hike yesterday with a group, I knew we are meeting at the church but I didn't know it was a church group… It was awesome. We stopped Occasionally for prayer and to discuss being in the wilderness and that the turnaround point we had communion. It was a unique experience.
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