I don't know how to get through this - Page 8

chipmunkis · 01-25-2007, 08:16 AM

I am so sorry for your loss...my best friend just lost her husband this past weekend and the grief is overwhelming...

as to your boss, she is wrong. Your husband was NOT selfish...thank God he let you know what he wanted, rather than leaving it to you. My best friend is so grateful right now that she hasn't had to make the decision with regard to what he "might" have wanted, because he had already told her, so she has been able to make the decisions based on HIS wishes. That is something that has taken such a load off her mind...

Your boss is an insensitive boor.

May God bless you and your family in this terrible time...

RedheadNJ · 01-25-2007, 06:06 PM

Words cannot express how bad I feel for you right now. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

LindaJ · 01-25-2007, 06:09 PM

I think your husband was incredibly thoughtful and UNselfish to convey his wishes to you and relieve you of that burden.

Pompom2 · 01-25-2007, 08:17 PM

Your boss is sad..

Kirara_the_Demon_Cat · 01-25-2007, 08:25 PM

I am so very sorry

ginger57 · 01-25-2007, 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doxielvr

We have a very small family - I was an only child and my father died in 1983, my husband had a sister who committed suicide several years ago, his father died in the late 70's. So it's just us 3, my mom and his mom.

I havesome very very wonderful friends who are there for me, which is something I am incredibly thankful for.

I hope no one minds if I insert a major vent about my supervisor here -- I had a friend notify her when my husband died and within hours she was on the phone with my friend to give her detailed information to relay to me about how I needed to account for my time out of the office (this was 3 hours after he died!) I was shocked beyond belief that she could possibly think this is a good time to discuss this. Then she went on to tell co-workers that "this was a blessing."

and that my husband was incredibly SELFISH because he told me exactly how he wanted his arrangements -- small and private with no obit in the paper. She felt that's inappropriate because he's not here and we who are left should decide. Yeah, that's her business

Doxie i'ts hard to believe that people like your supervisor exist but they do.

doxielvr · 01-26-2007, 04:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ginger57

Doxie i'ts hard to believe that people like your supervisor exist but they do.

I guess I shouldn't expect more from someone that once told me they'd be more upset if their dog died than if their father died.

Thank you to every one of you that sent me your kind thoughts. Your support touches my heart and truly helps.

CinnamonSpice · 01-26-2007, 07:30 AM

So, so sorry to hear of the loss of your husband...

for you and yours.

French · 01-26-2007, 11:01 AM

I'm very sorry for your loss, and having to deal with such an insensitive supervisor.

I don't know what you do, but if you have an HR department, please report your sup. My company would not tolerate that.

Sweeteater · 01-26-2007, 12:53 PM

So sorry for your loss.

Lisa Marie · 01-26-2007, 02:22 PM

I just saw this today, I'm so sorry to hear about your husband.

Melody · 01-26-2007, 02:24 PM

My deepest sympathies to you and your family. I'm so sorry.

soon2beskinny2 · 01-26-2007, 05:54 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Charski · 01-26-2007, 07:03 PM

I've just read this thread and would like to join in offering my most sincere condolences to you and your family - please be as kind to yourselves as you can be - hugs to you and yours.

Jessi · 01-27-2007, 11:46 AM

So sorry for your loss

Wife of a Vet · 01-28-2007, 11:57 AM

I'm a little late coming to this, but I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss.

Roni · 01-28-2007, 09:23 PM

I don't know how I missed this thread. Doxie, I am so sorry. Hugs and prayers being sent to you and your family.

DesertChris · 01-29-2007, 01:21 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss

webgrrl · 01-29-2007, 05:36 PM

LoveMontana · 01-29-2007, 08:56 PM

My thoughts and condolences to you and your family.

gentylwind · 01-30-2007, 05:34 AM

My heart goes out to you. There are not words to comfort the tremendous change this represents to your life nor to help you much with the huge adjustment as you learn to transition to a life without his physical form. Please know others are out here praying for you and thinking of you and that your grief will not be forgotten.

Di- · 01-30-2007, 02:34 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss.

mmam5 · 01-30-2007, 02:38 PM

Sorry to hear your news... Please know that prayers and hugs go out to you and your family!

Cyrano · 01-30-2007, 03:02 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss.

(((Doxie)))

Kimmie1178 · 01-31-2007, 10:29 AM

I am so very sorry for your loss.

lori121 · 01-31-2007, 05:33 PM

I'm so sorry. You & your family our in my thoughts & prayers.

PhillyDude · 02-03-2007, 03:14 PM

Praying for strength for you and the children

Going2 · 02-04-2007, 05:44 AM

Catching this sticky late--oh, you poor thing!

With deepest sympathy to you and your family.

CaroleKI61 · 02-04-2007, 06:52 AM

Hi my Dear! Our prayers remain with you and your children. I pray that you will allow yourself the pleasure of feeling your husband's love... You are always seen, understood, and loved by him. That love is flowing to you and through you. I know the load feels very heavy when you are forced to carry it alone...

Wish I could find the right words to tell you
To help you to understand-
You are not alone in your trouble-
Beside you is the spirit of your loving husband.

Love Carole

kaelenp · 02-05-2007, 06:41 AM

Doxie - I am so sorry for what you are going through. I had a similar experience with work when my DH died (he had been sick for years with Alzheimers but losing him was still a great loss). My boss suggested that I come back to work the day after the funeral "so that life could get back to normal". No way I could explain to someone like that (who had never suffered a loss) that life would never be normal again. I just took vacation time off for the remainder of the week so I could be with my daughters.

My youngest who was only 12 chose to go to school the day he died. I called the school counselor to let her know what had happened so that she could keep an eye on her during the day. Instead they announced it over the loudspeaker along with the day's menus!!!!

Sadly there are stupid, inconsiderate people out there.

I'm sending hugs to you and your children.

01-25-2007, 08:16 AM	#211
chipmunkis Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: I AM CANADIAN! Posts: 22,317 Gallery: chipmunkis Stats: splooging flub/flub reducing/ no more splooging Start Date: Sept.11, 2003	I am so sorry for your loss...my best friend just lost her husband this past weekend and the grief is overwhelming... as to your boss, she is wrong. Your husband was NOT selfish...thank God he let you know what he wanted, rather than leaving it to you. My best friend is so grateful right now that she hasn't had to make the decision with regard to what he "might" have wanted, because he had already told her, so she has been able to make the decisions based on HIS wishes. That is something that has taken such a load off her mind... Your boss is an insensitive boor. May God bless you and your family in this terrible time... __________________ I feel that where there's love, there's always a miracle...CarbyCurse Wisdom is knowing the path you should take INTEGRITY is choosing to take it.Author unknown no excuses, no BS...just do it or shut up about it ...Bluqq's mom Those we love never leave us but rather they live in our hearts forever msmoon

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01-25-2007, 06:06 PM	#212
RedheadNJ Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Belleville, NJ Posts: 8,287 Gallery: RedheadNJ WOE: Atkins Start Date: Restart May 28, 2008	Words cannot express how bad I feel for you right now. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

01-25-2007, 06:09 PM	#213
LindaJ Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Oregon coast Posts: 23,291 Gallery: LindaJ Stats: 172/162/140 5'7" age 60! WOE: Atkins lifestyle Start Date: August 2000	I think your husband was incredibly thoughtful and UNselfish to convey his wishes to you and relieve you of that burden.

01-25-2007, 08:17 PM	#214
Pompom2 Blabbermouth!!! Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 7,313 Gallery: Pompom2 WOE: Lower Carb	Your boss is sad..

01-25-2007, 08:25 PM	#215
Kirara_the_Demon_Cat two tailed demon Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Kissimmee, FL Posts: 8,448 Gallery: Kirara_the_Demon_Cat Stats: 293.6/247.8/199 WOE: whatever Start Date: on off plans since 2004	I am so very sorry

01-26-2007, 07:30 AM	#218
CinnamonSpice Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Southern California Posts: 3,321 Gallery: CinnamonSpice	So, so sorry to hear of the loss of your husband... for you and yours.

01-26-2007, 11:01 AM	#219
French MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Maryland Posts: 2,477 Gallery: French Stats: 198/179.5/150 (5'4") WOE: Calorie Counting (via Sparkpeople) Start Date: 09/03/2008	I'm very sorry for your loss, and having to deal with such an insensitive supervisor. I don't know what you do, but if you have an HR department, please report your sup. My company would not tolerate that.

01-26-2007, 12:53 PM	#220
Sweeteater Blabbermouth!!! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Volunteer State Posts: 7,241 Gallery: Sweeteater Stats: Starting over 01.08 WOE: Lower Carb Start Date: February 15, 2001	So sorry for your loss.

01-26-2007, 02:22 PM	#221
Lisa Marie Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 8,232 Gallery: Lisa Marie Start Date: Restart 6/26/07	I just saw this today, I'm so sorry to hear about your husband.

01-26-2007, 02:24 PM	#222
Melody Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Southeast Alaska Posts: 9,044 Gallery: Melody Stats: oh no WOE: Atkins Start Date: 2/19/01-Goal 7/6/02	My deepest sympathies to you and your family. I'm so sorry.

01-26-2007, 05:54 PM	#223
soon2beskinny2 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 131 Gallery: soon2beskinny2 Stats: 180/176.25/125.0 Start Date: May 19, 2008	I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

01-29-2007, 01:21 PM	#228
DesertChris Blabbermouth!!! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Southern California Posts: 5,506 Gallery: DesertChris Stats: Was 224/158/125 Now 206/125 :( WOE: Own custom/Most closely related to Protein Power Start Date: Arrrrghhh! Reality check starting again 19 Aug 07	I'm so sorry for your loss

01-29-2007, 05:36 PM	#229
webgrrl Blabbermouth!!! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Cincinnati, OH Posts: 5,765 Gallery: webgrrl Stats: 225.5/206.2/154 WOE: South Beach Start Date: Jan. 24th, 2002 (Atkins) Jun. 23rd, 2007 (S.Beach)

01-26-2007, 07:03 PM	#224
Charski Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Central Coastal CA Posts: 10,311 Gallery: Charski Stats: 174 (WW)/130/150 goal 5'5" 54 years young WOE: ATKINS! now and always.... Start Date: 5/03	I've just read this thread and would like to join in offering my most sincere condolences to you and your family - please be as kind to yourselves as you can be - hugs to you and yours.

01-27-2007, 11:46 AM	#225
Jessi LCF Game Room Groupie Join Date: Nov 2000 Posts: 40,358 Gallery: Jessi	So sorry for your loss

01-28-2007, 11:57 AM	#226
Wife of a Vet Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Having Fun in Killeen/CopperasCove/Kempner - ish (TX) Posts: 13,190 Gallery: Wife of a Vet Stats: Highest 280/LC start-222/210 (grr)/145 5'8" WOE: Low Carb (Diabetic) Start Date: 8/26/03	I'm a little late coming to this, but I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss.

01-28-2007, 09:23 PM	#227
Roni Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Ohio Posts: 15,310 Gallery: Roni Stats: 5'2" - 154/140.5/120 WOE: Generic Low Carb Start Date: August, 2003	I don't know how I missed this thread. Doxie, I am so sorry. Hugs and prayers being sent to you and your family.

01-29-2007, 08:56 PM	#230
LoveMontana Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: NY/PA border Posts: 26,336 Gallery: LoveMontana Stats: 5'1" 155/100/110 WOE: Atkins Start Date: Dec.1997	My thoughts and condolences to you and your family.

01-30-2007, 05:34 AM	#231
gentylwind Blabbermouth!!! Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: south Posts: 7,238 Gallery: gentylwind Stats: 274/228.5/135 WOE: Atkins Start Date: Jan 2004	My heart goes out to you. There are not words to comfort the tremendous change this represents to your life nor to help you much with the huge adjustment as you learn to transition to a life without his physical form. Please know others are out here praying for you and thinking of you and that your grief will not be forgotten.

01-30-2007, 02:34 PM	#232
Di- MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 2,079 Gallery: Di- Stats: yikes/getting there/alrighty then WOE: Atkins Start Date: May 2000	I'm so sorry for your loss.

01-30-2007, 02:38 PM	#233
mmam5 Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: NE Wisconsin Posts: 3,703 Gallery: mmam5 Stats: 150/125 Healthy, 5'4" 45 My REALage=35.6! WOE: whole foods	Sorry to hear your news... Please know that prayers and hugs go out to you and your family!

01-30-2007, 03:02 PM	#234
Cyrano Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Hurricane country! Posts: 21,727 Gallery: Cyrano WOE: Atkins Start Date: January 2000	I'm so sorry for your loss. (((Doxie)))

01-31-2007, 10:29 AM	#235
Kimmie1178 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Georgia Posts: 502 Gallery: Kimmie1178 Stats: 268.5/238/150 Start Date: 9/4/07	I am so very sorry for your loss.

01-31-2007, 05:33 PM	#236
lori121 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 1,669 Gallery: lori121 Stats: 189.5/-/145 WOE: Atkins Start Date: Restart Aug 11, 2008	I'm so sorry. You & your family our in my thoughts & prayers.

02-03-2007, 03:14 PM	#237
PhillyDude Senior LCF Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Lehigh Valley, PA Posts: 817 Gallery: PhillyDude WOE: Atkins Start Date: Started seriously on November 1st, 2006	Praying for strength for you and the children

02-04-2007, 05:44 AM	#238
Going2 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Alexandria, VA Posts: 498 Gallery: Going2 Stats: 205/186(166)/150 5'8" WOE: Atkins Start Date: January 2003	Catching this sticky late--oh, you poor thing! With deepest sympathy to you and your family.

02-04-2007, 06:52 AM	#239
CaroleKI61 Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada Posts: 14,719 Blog Entries: 1 Gallery: CaroleKI61 Stats: 414/now 280 /goal weight 199 WOE: Dr. Atkins- I love you! Start Date: February 14 2003	Hi my Dear! Our prayers remain with you and your children. I pray that you will allow yourself the pleasure of feeling your husband's love... You are always seen, understood, and loved by him. That love is flowing to you and through you. I know the load feels very heavy when you are forced to carry it alone... Wish I could find the right words to tell you To help you to understand- You are not alone in your trouble- Beside you is the spirit of your loving husband. Love Carole

02-05-2007, 06:41 AM	#240
kaelenp MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 2,612 Gallery: kaelenp Stats: 192/167/149 WOE: Atkins Start Date: May 2000	Doxie - I am so sorry for what you are going through. I had a similar experience with work when my DH died (he had been sick for years with Alzheimers but losing him was still a great loss). My boss suggested that I come back to work the day after the funeral "so that life could get back to normal". No way I could explain to someone like that (who had never suffered a loss) that life would never be normal again. I just took vacation time off for the remainder of the week so I could be with my daughters. My youngest who was only 12 chose to go to school the day he died. I called the school counselor to let her know what had happened so that she could keep an eye on her during the day. Instead they announced it over the loudspeaker along with the day's menus!!!! Sadly there are stupid, inconsiderate people out there. I'm sending hugs to you and your children.