Don't empower your scale and let it determine what your day will bring...

LadyBeloved · 01-04-2004, 03:29 PM

When I owned a scale, I would get on it whenever I thought about it, which was hourly. If I lost a pound, the world was bright and shiny. If I gained a pound, I was a failure. If the scale didn't move, the world was conspiring against me. And faced with that, what was the point having so much restraint and working so hard when the results refused to come to me?

What was I doing wrong? Most times, nothing other than giving the scale omnipotence. I allowed the scale to help me make value judgments. For my own sanity, I finally had to toss the scale out.

Not everyone is like I was. I couldn't walk past the bathroom without going in and weighing myself. There are those who can go days without weighing themselves. Others can go months. I could not. I am now weighed when I see my doctor. I don't even go near the scale at the gym.

I'm not experiencing dramatic results and with what I hope to lose, it isn't realistic to expect that. But it is hard to remain in reality when we are inundated with "miracle diets" that promise instant results. Since I had my low carb ephiphany, I have had at least one substantial change in dress size and many losses in inches, so I know this works. I now kind of think of this lifestyle as answers to prayers: you may not get what you want when you want it but you will get what you need when it is most needed.

This new lifestyle brought about multiple changes, but in layers. The layers fall off in different degrees and in different orders for everyone. Sometimes the layers unfold as pounds/inches and at other times, it's more subtle. But it's important to understand what happens to your body and mind when you make dramatic changes such as these.

The first layer for me was my outlook and attitude. I was much calmer and less high strung. I slept better and I awakened refreshed. I was a sugar addict and could have mainlined it. But once I got over it, I didn't crave it any longer. My clothing was looser. People noticed.

The next layer was emotional. Food is medicinal and once the sedative effect of comfort food is taken away, those "issues" from which we'd been hiding are now in your face, raw and demanding to be dealt with on ANY level. Instead of feeding the issue, we have to DEAL with the issue. And these layers do not peel off in coordination with each other, either. I hardly had time to recover from the sugar addiction before the emotional issues arose.

When you're reeling like that plus not seeing the scale move, your protective instincts take over (because "issues" = pain) and demand that you move on to something easier, better, stronger, faster so that you're back to your comfort level again. The process simply repeats itself until you give up completely.

I learned there must be an understanding of myself and my body before this (or any long term lifestyle change) will work.

We must turn our gazes inward and realize that this is for US, not husband/wife/significant-other/child and will only happen over time and it will be very hard work. Sometimes, the SCALE WILL NOT MOVE no matter what you do and no matter how hard you exercise.

But you must remember that this is NOT torture, it is a well-needed chance to assess, appreciate and acknowledge how far you've come and what you need to do to get to the next phase. If it's too easy, you will not appreciate what you have had to experience in order to get where you are.

This lifestyle is not a bandaid, it's a deep cleansing of all of the issues that have been holding you back for so very long. But when at last you look in the mirror and finally see someone who is worthy of all of the hard work, dedication and love you have to give to YOURSELF, you will soar. I promise.

(This post has been updated from my original posting as writerightaway/writingwithheart)

CheeseGrits · 01-04-2004, 03:43 PM

Amen. Bravo. Well-written as always, MissB.

OldSchoolGirl · 01-04-2004, 03:48 PM

Hmmmm.
I wonder if I have to wait a month or so before I can nominate this for the "Past Amazing Posts" forum?

Fabulous. =)

Bar10der · 01-04-2004, 04:17 PM

Excellent post LadyB.

It's amazing how obsessed we can get with weighing ourselves.

Thank you for reminding us.

junquedealer · 01-04-2004, 04:25 PM

Thank you!

That was a wonderful reminder.

momof6blessings · 01-04-2004, 04:27 PM

thank you so much. I am dealing with all of these issues today: scale not moving and emotional issues. I have been trying hard not to cave and eat to 'heal myself'.

Thanks again.

LadyBeloved · 01-04-2004, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by momof6blessings
I am dealing with all of these issues today: scale not moving and emotional issues. I have been trying hard not to cave and eat to 'heal myself'.

No, don't cave, sweetie. Eating the bad stuff will make issues worse, not better. There is support here. ((((hugs))))

Stevie Renee · 01-04-2004, 04:38 PM

[COLOR=green]Excellant reading. Enjoy the journey and know thy self. I like this post. The scale can reak havoc on a persons spirit - it takes knowing yourself and your body to understand the ups and down. Thank you for taking the time to write this.[/COLOR]

Sharon · 01-04-2004, 04:42 PM

This is an amazing post and should be put into that sticky. Thank you very much for posting it.

momof6blessings · 01-04-2004, 04:45 PM

Thanks for the hugs LadyBeloved. They mean more than you can know.

VisionQuest220 · 01-04-2004, 04:49 PM

Blasphamy! The bathroom scale is the god of all that is important in the world of weight loss. To proclaim it as a demon is the most unkind cut of all.

Where would we all be if not for the hourly ups and downs that occur not to mention the daily fluctuations of 3 pounds or more? Do you honestly expect me to just trust that eating a low carb food plan will actually result in weight loss? I surely must track my progress on a moment to moment basis lest I miss the excitement of losing that half pound.

And don't even get me started on testing for ketosis! (I've been testing myself all day, sometimes twice in the same "stream"!)

LadyBeloved · 01-04-2004, 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by VisionQuest220
Blasphamy! The bathroom scale is the god of all that is important in the world of weight loss. To proclaim it as a demon is the most unkind cut of all.

Where would we all be if not for the hourly ups and downs that occur not to mention the daily fluctuations of 3 pounds or more? Do you honestly expect me to just trust that eating a low carb food plan will actually result in weight loss? I surely must track my progress on a moment to moment basis lest I miss the excitement of losing that half pound.

And don't even get me started on testing for ketosis! (I've been testing myself all day, sometimes twice in the same "stream"!)

I forgot about the dreaded ketosis stix, VQ.

sweetgrl4764 · 01-04-2004, 08:24 PM

Thank you for such an inspiring post. I am guilty of getting on the scale and letting that number, up or down, set the pace for my entire day. It's hard to take a big breath, relax, and realize that I'm doing something for myself...but I'm getting a little better. And I've already given up on those ketostix! I was getting a little OCD.

Denise

babykinz · 01-04-2004, 08:35 PM

Every word VERY inspiring.

I tried copy/paste it to my signature but it was too big. Perhaps I'll just print it out and hand it on the wall.

You have a gift of wonderful writing....bless you.

portcitykitty · 01-04-2004, 09:34 PM

When I finally realized this myself, it was so freeing. I would do all of the things you described, it would rule my day, did I gain 1/2 lb, my whole day would be wrecked, is this WOE working? I would question all of these things. Now I know to ask myself, do I feel better? Do I have eating under control? Those are the real things that should and do rule my life now. I did have issues with food, which I was in total denial about.
Thank you for you true words of wisdom, the last paragraph was awesome!

LadyBeloved · 01-05-2004, 07:26 AM

DivaHerself · 01-05-2004, 01:11 PM

B, you already know I love you. That stickie-worthy post is gravy.

One of the greatest gifts of lowcarb is clarity, which often doesn't look like a gift when you first get it. Weight loss is only the tip of the iceberg -- somehow, a lot more changes than just what's on your plate. There's a person or two on these boards that might tell you that.

Bozo · 01-05-2004, 02:21 PM

Love it, B. Thanks for posting it. Since I've weighed myself every single day since New Years, I could stand to read this.

Catrin · 01-05-2004, 04:10 PM

Thank you ... Thank you!

Did you write this post for ME???? This is the BEST post I have read... hit the nail on the head for me.

I have been on the Scale EVERY SINGLE DAY since I started October 29th. In the morning, in the afternoon, at night... it is a game.. can I guess what I wiegh before I step??

My official weight is in the AM .. right before I leap in the shower.

BUT>> I realize that this post is right. It is another thing that is controlling my happiness. I need to do this for ME. I need to feel better about the way I look and the way I feel.

SO>> Starting tomorrow... (after my first weigh in)... I am putting away the scale for one week.

Thank you!
Catrin

LadyBeloved · 01-05-2004, 07:16 PM

Diva...

junquedealer · 01-05-2004, 09:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bozo
Love it, B. Thanks for posting it. Since I've weighed myself every single day since New Years, I could stand to read this.

do you weigh only once a day?

I'll see your once and raise you 3 more.

shimmerfly1 · 01-05-2004, 09:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by LadyBeloved
I hardly had time to recover from the sugar addiction before the emotional issues arose.

Oh so true, LadyB. Great post.

Livnlow · 01-06-2004, 05:07 AM

The scale can affect us all differently. It used to be if the number went up or stayed the same, I got p*ssed off and the day was all downhill from there. Today, I think back as to what I ate or did the day before and try to determine what the problem is. For me, the scale sorta tells me what works and doesn't work and therefore helps me correct things instead of maybe going a week or two before I find out there is a problem.

LadyBeloved · 01-06-2004, 05:31 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by portcitykitty
...

Now I know to ask myself, do I feel better? Do I have eating under control? Those are the real things that should and do rule my life now. I did have issues with food, which I was in total denial about.

...

So did I. Reality was bracing but quite liberating, too.

kristina · 01-06-2004, 06:08 AM

What a wonderful post!! I've just realized that it might not come off as fast as I thought it might...but it WILL come off. I will accept that this is a new lifestyle and WOE, and will be patient. I will be gentle with my body, not depriving it, and the weight will come off. I'm feeling well...losing weight (albeit slowly)and what more could someone ask for?

junquedealer · 01-06-2004, 08:27 AM

Bumping because my scale made me sad today.

Bonnie · 01-06-2004, 08:36 AM

I weigh every morning to keep me on track. But I also don't get obsessed over the number, nor do I weigh at any other time of day. But I suppose if you have issues with the scale, then you shouldn't weigh everyday.

LadyBeloved · 01-06-2004, 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by junquedealer

Bumping because my scale made me sad today.

Lisa, please repeat after me: "The scale will be my compass, not my pilot."

LadyBeloved · 07-10-2004, 11:02 AM

Bumping 'cos I resisted buying a scale today. *sigh*

GwnStfni · 07-10-2004, 12:06 PM

I love my scale... I weigh in every day and it does not determine what mood I will be in for the day, i.e. sad or happy... If I'm up, it makes me eat more cleanly, cut out the sodium, drink more water. If i'm down, I feel a great sense of (nearing) accomplishment and it helps to keep me more focused. Weighing daily isn't necessarily a bad thing.

01-04-2004, 03:29 PM	#1
LadyBeloved And stay away from my beloved: Lenny Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Sparkling & glittering in serene light Posts: 27,494 Gallery: LadyBeloved Stats: GOAL is a perfect fit in sz 26 True Religions WOE: Casual ~ I no longer need a commitment from food.	Don't empower your scale and let it determine what your day will bring... When I owned a scale, I would get on it whenever I thought about it, which was hourly. If I lost a pound, the world was bright and shiny. If I gained a pound, I was a failure. If the scale didn't move, the world was conspiring against me. And faced with that, what was the point having so much restraint and working so hard when the results refused to come to me? What was I doing wrong? Most times, nothing other than giving the scale omnipotence. I allowed the scale to help me make value judgments. For my own sanity, I finally had to toss the scale out. Not everyone is like I was. I couldn't walk past the bathroom without going in and weighing myself. There are those who can go days without weighing themselves. Others can go months. I could not. I am now weighed when I see my doctor. I don't even go near the scale at the gym. I'm not experiencing dramatic results and with what I hope to lose, it isn't realistic to expect that. But it is hard to remain in reality when we are inundated with "miracle diets" that promise instant results. Since I had my low carb ephiphany, I have had at least one substantial change in dress size and many losses in inches, so I know this works. I now kind of think of this lifestyle as answers to prayers: you may not get what you want when you want it but you will get what you need when it is most needed. This new lifestyle brought about multiple changes, but in layers. The layers fall off in different degrees and in different orders for everyone. Sometimes the layers unfold as pounds/inches and at other times, it's more subtle. But it's important to understand what happens to your body and mind when you make dramatic changes such as these. The first layer for me was my outlook and attitude. I was much calmer and less high strung. I slept better and I awakened refreshed. I was a sugar addict and could have mainlined it. But once I got over it, I didn't crave it any longer. My clothing was looser. People noticed. The next layer was emotional. Food is medicinal and once the sedative effect of comfort food is taken away, those "issues" from which we'd been hiding are now in your face, raw and demanding to be dealt with on ANY level. Instead of feeding the issue, we have to DEAL with the issue. And these layers do not peel off in coordination with each other, either. I hardly had time to recover from the sugar addiction before the emotional issues arose. When you're reeling like that plus not seeing the scale move, your protective instincts take over (because "issues" = pain) and demand that you move on to something easier, better, stronger, faster so that you're back to your comfort level again. The process simply repeats itself until you give up completely. I learned there must be an understanding of myself and my body before this (or any long term lifestyle change) will work. We must turn our gazes inward and realize that this is for US, not husband/wife/significant-other/child and will only happen over time and it will be very hard work. Sometimes, the SCALE WILL NOT MOVE no matter what you do and no matter how hard you exercise. But you must remember that this is NOT torture, it is a well-needed chance to assess, appreciate and acknowledge how far you've come and what you need to do to get to the next phase. If it's too easy, you will not appreciate what you have had to experience in order to get where you are. This lifestyle is not a bandaid, it's a deep cleansing of all of the issues that have been holding you back for so very long. But when at last you look in the mirror and finally see someone who is worthy of all of the hard work, dedication and love you have to give to YOURSELF, you will soar. I promise. (This post has been updated from my original posting as writerightaway/writingwithheart)

01-04-2004, 04:49 PM	#11
VisionQuest220 Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Mesmerized By Fish Posts: 4,468 Gallery: VisionQuest220 Stats: XXXL/XXL/XL WOE: No treat would be complete w/o a little dead meat! Start Date: They Just Keep Going Around & Around & Around...	Blasphamy! The bathroom scale is the god of all that is important in the world of weight loss. To proclaim it as a demon is the most unkind cut of all. Where would we all be if not for the hourly ups and downs that occur not to mention the daily fluctuations of 3 pounds or more? Do you honestly expect me to just trust that eating a low carb food plan will actually result in weight loss? I surely must track my progress on a moment to moment basis lest I miss the excitement of losing that half pound. And don't even get me started on testing for ketosis! (I've been testing myself all day, sometimes twice in the same "stream"!) __________________ Ladies & Gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice.

01-05-2004, 04:10 PM	#19
Catrin Senior LCF Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Rhode Island Posts: 375 Gallery: Catrin Stats: 278/269/175 WOE: Atkins Start Date: 7/30/06 (again!)	Thank you ... Thank you! Did you write this post for ME???? This is the BEST post I have read... hit the nail on the head for me. I have been on the Scale EVERY SINGLE DAY since I started October 29th. In the morning, in the afternoon, at night... it is a game.. can I guess what I wiegh before I step?? My official weight is in the AM .. right before I leap in the shower. BUT>> I realize that this post is right. It is another thing that is controlling my happiness. I need to do this for ME. I need to feel better about the way I look and the way I feel. SO>> Starting tomorrow... (after my first weigh in)... I am putting away the scale for one week. Thank you! Catrin __________________ Catrin Taking one day at a time! LC Success! 80lbs lost 2003-2004 Baby 2005 Starting again 2006 My name is Cathy, I am a Carb Addict.

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01-04-2004, 03:43 PM	#2
CheeseGrits MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: May 2003 Location: Trying to catch up to kip's post count... Posts: 2,612 Gallery: CheeseGrits	Amen. Bravo. Well-written as always, MissB.

01-04-2004, 03:48 PM	#3
OldSchoolGirl Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 10,215 Gallery: OldSchoolGirl	Hmmmm. I wonder if I have to wait a month or so before I can nominate this for the "Past Amazing Posts" forum? Fabulous. =)

01-04-2004, 04:17 PM	#4
Bar10der Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: forsaken desert Posts: 12,549 Gallery: Bar10der Stats: 143/137/125 WOE: low carb beer Start Date: on and off and on and off	Excellent post LadyB. It's amazing how obsessed we can get with weighing ourselves. Thank you for reminding us.

01-04-2004, 04:25 PM	#5
junquedealer Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: lost Posts: 11,160 Gallery: junquedealer WOE: Who the heck knows anymore? Start Date: January 6, 2003	Thank you! That was a wonderful reminder.

01-04-2004, 04:27 PM	#6
momof6blessings Senior LCF Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: MI Posts: 169 Gallery: momof6blessings WOE: Atkins all the way!	thank you so much. I am dealing with all of these issues today: scale not moving and emotional issues. I have been trying hard not to cave and eat to 'heal myself'. Thanks again.

01-04-2004, 04:38 PM	#8
Stevie Renee Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 13,582 Gallery: Stevie Renee Start Date: July 2000	[COLOR=green]Excellant reading. Enjoy the journey and know thy self. I like this post. The scale can reak havoc on a persons spirit - it takes knowing yourself and your body to understand the ups and down. Thank you for taking the time to write this.[/COLOR]

01-04-2004, 04:42 PM	#9
Sharon Come join us on the Game Board Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: retired now - I ski 40+ days annually and do marathons. 1st TIME GRANDMOTHER 6/18/07 Posts: 109,090 Gallery: Sharon Stats: GO UCLA - BEAT USC ALWAYS STAY POSITIVE WOE: No. Calif & Mammoth Lakes (Ski area), Ca	This is an amazing post and should be put into that sticky. Thank you very much for posting it.

01-04-2004, 04:45 PM	#10
momof6blessings Senior LCF Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: MI Posts: 169 Gallery: momof6blessings WOE: Atkins all the way!	Thanks for the hugs LadyBeloved. They mean more than you can know.

01-04-2004, 08:24 PM	#13
sweetgrl4764 Junior LCF Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Madison, WI Posts: 53 Gallery: sweetgrl4764 Stats: 234/211.5/160 WOE: Atkins Start Date: August 2003	Thank you for such an inspiring post. I am guilty of getting on the scale and letting that number, up or down, set the pace for my entire day. It's hard to take a big breath, relax, and realize that I'm doing something for myself...but I'm getting a little better. And I've already given up on those ketostix! I was getting a little OCD. Denise

01-04-2004, 08:35 PM	#14
babykinz Major LCF Poster! Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Pensacola FL Posts: 1,711 Gallery: babykinz Stats: 244/212/145--5'2 49yo WOE: JUDDD Start Date: 2/28/12-----Name ~Pia~	Every word VERY inspiring. I tried copy/paste it to my signature but it was too big. Perhaps I'll just print it out and hand it on the wall. You have a gift of wonderful writing....bless you.

01-04-2004, 09:34 PM	#15
portcitykitty Junior LCF Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Germany Posts: 23 Gallery: portcitykitty Stats: 281/240/150 WOE: Atkins Start Date: Sept 15 2003	When I finally realized this myself, it was so freeing. I would do all of the things you described, it would rule my day, did I gain 1/2 lb, my whole day would be wrecked, is this WOE working? I would question all of these things. Now I know to ask myself, do I feel better? Do I have eating under control? Those are the real things that should and do rule my life now. I did have issues with food, which I was in total denial about. Thank you for you true words of wisdom, the last paragraph was awesome!

01-05-2004, 07:26 AM	#16
LadyBeloved And stay away from my beloved: Lenny Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Sparkling & glittering in serene light Posts: 27,494 Gallery: LadyBeloved Stats: GOAL is a perfect fit in sz 26 True Religions WOE: Casual ~ I no longer need a commitment from food.

01-05-2004, 01:11 PM	#17
DivaHerself Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: The Ninth Ring of Hell, cleverly disguised as Phoenix Posts: 37,559 Gallery: DivaHerself Stats: My ass is still big enough to kick yours WOE: Wedding Cake Martinis, Darvocet & frozen Twinkies Start Date: As if. Fix your own damn dinner.	B, you already know I love you. That stickie-worthy post is gravy. One of the greatest gifts of lowcarb is clarity, which often doesn't look like a gift when you first get it. Weight loss is only the tip of the iceberg -- somehow, a lot more changes than just what's on your plate. There's a person or two on these boards that might tell you that.

01-05-2004, 02:21 PM	#18
Bozo Living Vicarbiously Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 9,914 Gallery: Bozo Stats: At goal WOE: Low Carb/Low Cal/Exercise Start Date: February 2002	Love it, B. Thanks for posting it. Since I've weighed myself every single day since New Years, I could stand to read this.

01-05-2004, 07:16 PM	#20
LadyBeloved And stay away from my beloved: Lenny Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Sparkling & glittering in serene light Posts: 27,494 Gallery: LadyBeloved Stats: GOAL is a perfect fit in sz 26 True Religions WOE: Casual ~ I no longer need a commitment from food.	Diva...

01-06-2004, 05:07 AM	#23
Livnlow Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: King George, VA Posts: 70 Gallery: Livnlow Stats: 326.8 Start Date: 5/10/10	The scale can affect us all differently. It used to be if the number went up or stayed the same, I got p*ssed off and the day was all downhill from there. Today, I think back as to what I ate or did the day before and try to determine what the problem is. For me, the scale sorta tells me what works and doesn't work and therefore helps me correct things instead of maybe going a week or two before I find out there is a problem.

01-06-2004, 06:08 AM	#25
kristina Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: back home in Washington Posts: 26,058 Gallery: kristina	What a wonderful post!! I've just realized that it might not come off as fast as I thought it might...but it WILL come off. I will accept that this is a new lifestyle and WOE, and will be patient. I will be gentle with my body, not depriving it, and the weight will come off. I'm feeling well...losing weight (albeit slowly)and what more could someone ask for?

01-06-2004, 08:27 AM	#26
junquedealer Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: lost Posts: 11,160 Gallery: junquedealer WOE: Who the heck knows anymore? Start Date: January 6, 2003	Bumping because my scale made me sad today.

01-06-2004, 08:36 AM	#27
Bonnie _catzy_ Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 22,583 Gallery: Bonnie WOE: Low Carb Maintenance	I weigh every morning to keep me on track. But I also don't get obsessed over the number, nor do I weigh at any other time of day. But I suppose if you have issues with the scale, then you shouldn't weigh everyday.

07-10-2004, 11:02 AM	#29
LadyBeloved And stay away from my beloved: Lenny Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Sparkling & glittering in serene light Posts: 27,494 Gallery: LadyBeloved Stats: GOAL is a perfect fit in sz 26 True Religions WOE: Casual ~ I no longer need a commitment from food.	Bumping 'cos I resisted buying a scale today. sigh

07-10-2004, 12:06 PM	#30
GwnStfni Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Tragic Kingdom Posts: 3,651 Gallery: GwnStfni Stats: 231/168.4/131 WOE: Atkins & Stillman's Start Date: Restart 02/13/2010	I love my scale... I weigh in every day and it does not determine what mood I will be in for the day, i.e. sad or happy... If I'm up, it makes me eat more cleanly, cut out the sodium, drink more water. If i'm down, I feel a great sense of (nearing) accomplishment and it helps to keep me more focused. Weighing daily isn't necessarily a bad thing.