CAD - a side thread - reflections on my weight loss journey

Tinkerloo · 07-19-2008, 12:40 PM

Our main Carbohydrate Addict's Diet Summer thread is here: Carbohydrate Addict's Diet ~*~ Summer

This is my rambling reflection of my weight loss so far after reaching a new point this week. I started it off as a post to all my friends on CAD/CALP but it's so long I didn't want to post it on our usual thread. So I decided to start this for anyone who was interested enough to come over and read it - and perhaps share their journey or weight loss reflections as well.

-Amy

Tinkerloo · 07-19-2008, 12:41 PM

Hi Ladies -

So I was sitting here pondering my weight loss this morning and made myself a little list of my weights over the past several years (basically the last 5 which included caring for and the passing of both of my parents, so lots of stress ups & downs). Basically, before that time - 2003 - I had never really had highs above 153 - and that had only been two or three times in my life and usually during really stressful periods of time. And I never stayed there long - it was usually the point where I realized I was out of control and just got my act together and got myself back down to my comfort zone of 124-136 - that 12lb window is where I have spent most of my adult life, except for those swells. I usually hovered in the 127-134 range the most - it was very hard for me to stay in the 120's for very long - usually required crazy diets to get there and once I would hit those weights, I'd feel skinny, go off plan, eat crazy stuff and go back up. But I felt good in the upper 120's - thin but not skinny and like I just wanted to tone it all up because I've never been one to exercise.

So I say all that because I'm realizing that I am now back in my 1st tier of "familiar territory"! Even though this weight of the low 150's was my former high weight - it's something I know how to deal with, I've been here before and I know I can get myself back down to my comfort zone- even though I haven't always stayed there in the past. The difference now is that I know so much more about healthy eating, and have actually found a way of eating (general healthy carbs as well as CAD) that have worked for me for extended periods of time - I never had that before, ever. Before it was slim-fast and salads and dry chicken breast or all out binges of whatever. I can actually say that it has been just about a year now that I have been eating what I call consistently healthily - with the exception of the holidays where I veered for a few week period - always with the intention of coming back - but really allowed myself to binge on some fast food, junk food and stuff I hadn't been having because I knew I was about to start Atkins. I haven't felt the desire for any of that stuff since to be honest -and I'm also not afraid that I'll go there again - I may have those things again at some point, but on CAD I feel that freedom - and have something to get me straight again. Big change, big progress.

While I have been above the low 150's I have been completely in unfamiliar territory and it has been during very stressful times - 2005 was the biggest weight gain year - I think I started it in the low 130's -may even have been high 120's and ended it seeing 161 on the scale going into the holiday season - I remember that day well and felt like I was in trouble. I stayed in the low to mid 160's through most of 2006 fearful of ever seeing 170's - I couldn't even believe I was in the 160's. I had a good loss spurt in the summer of 2006 and started eating well and exercising and got down to 147 for a brief time and then balanced out in the low 150's again. I know these numbers are some of your goals, but I am a very small framed 5' 3ish" - I was actually told by docs that I could stand to lose 10-15lbs when I was in the high 120's! (I was briefly 119 before my wedding and I felt completely uncurvy - don't feel the need to go back there) So I felt really fat and out of control. I started wondering if I just needed to accept that I was meant to be a "big girl" because I love food so much and I was so weary of the battle with weight that I had been on since I bought my first diet book at the age of 12. I started thinking perhaps I'll just surrender and find clothes that look good on this body and learn to love it.

The holidays of 2006 brought my Dad's sudden illness and then passing 2 months later and I ballooned up again - I saw 171 on the scale right after his death. I didn't even recognize myself in the video of his memorial. I came back down a few pounds fairly quickly - a lot of it was put on from major comfort eating during those last few weeks and so when I returned to my more normal eating, it came off - but it really freaked me out that I had seen over 170. I hung in the mid to high 160's until this time last year when I started a more natural approach to cutting out things that I was potentially allergic or sensitive to and found that I was feeling so much better, and although slower than I ever had considered a "diet" before, I dropped 12 pounds while not even focusing on it - over about 5 months. I realized I could eat this way forever and feel good. And then I found CAD, that showed me I could have the best of both - the healthy eating, and a way to have some of the treats and things I had always thought of as no-no's and so thought of them as bad which would lead me to crazy thinking and off on a bad path. Not anymore - there really is a way to keep control without being too rigid - and it feels good and easy! Not that I haven't deviated on vacation - and may do so again - but coming back was easy, not like dieting after being bad.

So I'm feeling on track and pretty good this morning! Reflecting has helped me see my journey here - and to lighten up on myself because I really do believe, after what I've experienced the past year, that food has such an effect on us that we are never taught - the insulin effect and how easy it is to become "addicted" and feel out of control without even realizing we're doing something to fuel that. I never thought that I could be at this weight (151) and be able to acknowledge that things are good and not feel fixated on getting to 125 - I know it's possible now and I'll get there - or wherever it is I decide is comfortable. And I can now put the past 3 years of feeling horrible and fearful about my weight behind me - not because I'm at goal, but because I feel hopeful and knowledgable that I don't "have" to go back there.

I'm sorry to have rambled on and on – it feels good to have taken a look though.
-Amy

Christie777 · 07-19-2008, 02:04 PM

Tinkerloo, (((HUGS))) So sorry to hear about your parents passing. I am happy to hear you are healing and that your weight is coming off more easily and that you don't feel stressed about it anymore.

Thanks for sharing. CAD and CALP are great parameters for many people. I'm surprised more people have not found it. Perhaps it is the restrictive one hour of eating that puts some people off.

Hoppinn · 07-21-2008, 11:08 AM

Tink,

I think this is a wonderful thread for those that want to tell their story.

I am looking forward to reading how many of us got here and where we are all going.

I will not be posting my story here since I have already started a blog and have been writing my story there. If anyone is interested in my story, you can view it by clicking on the link that is included in my signature.

I wish everyone the utmost success in your journey!

07-19-2008, 12:40 PM	#1
Tinkerloo Senior LCF Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Bay Area, California Posts: 429 Gallery: Tinkerloo Stats: 171/151/125 WOE: CAD Start Date: April 2008	CAD - a side thread - reflections on my weight loss journey Our main Carbohydrate Addict's Diet Summer thread is here: Carbohydrate Addict's Diet ~*~ Summer This is my rambling reflection of my weight loss so far after reaching a new point this week. I started it off as a post to all my friends on CAD/CALP but it's so long I didn't want to post it on our usual thread. So I decided to start this for anyone who was interested enough to come over and read it - and perhaps share their journey or weight loss reflections as well. -Amy __________________ 10/17 Pregnant at 158.5!

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

07-19-2008, 12:41 PM	#2
Tinkerloo Senior LCF Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Bay Area, California Posts: 429 Gallery: Tinkerloo Stats: 171/151/125 WOE: CAD Start Date: April 2008	Hi Ladies - So I was sitting here pondering my weight loss this morning and made myself a little list of my weights over the past several years (basically the last 5 which included caring for and the passing of both of my parents, so lots of stress ups & downs). Basically, before that time - 2003 - I had never really had highs above 153 - and that had only been two or three times in my life and usually during really stressful periods of time. And I never stayed there long - it was usually the point where I realized I was out of control and just got my act together and got myself back down to my comfort zone of 124-136 - that 12lb window is where I have spent most of my adult life, except for those swells. I usually hovered in the 127-134 range the most - it was very hard for me to stay in the 120's for very long - usually required crazy diets to get there and once I would hit those weights, I'd feel skinny, go off plan, eat crazy stuff and go back up. But I felt good in the upper 120's - thin but not skinny and like I just wanted to tone it all up because I've never been one to exercise. So I say all that because I'm realizing that I am now back in my 1st tier of "familiar territory"! Even though this weight of the low 150's was my former high weight - it's something I know how to deal with, I've been here before and I know I can get myself back down to my comfort zone- even though I haven't always stayed there in the past. The difference now is that I know so much more about healthy eating, and have actually found a way of eating (general healthy carbs as well as CAD) that have worked for me for extended periods of time - I never had that before, ever. Before it was slim-fast and salads and dry chicken breast or all out binges of whatever. I can actually say that it has been just about a year now that I have been eating what I call consistently healthily - with the exception of the holidays where I veered for a few week period - always with the intention of coming back - but really allowed myself to binge on some fast food, junk food and stuff I hadn't been having because I knew I was about to start Atkins. I haven't felt the desire for any of that stuff since to be honest -and I'm also not afraid that I'll go there again - I may have those things again at some point, but on CAD I feel that freedom - and have something to get me straight again. Big change, big progress. While I have been above the low 150's I have been completely in unfamiliar territory and it has been during very stressful times - 2005 was the biggest weight gain year - I think I started it in the low 130's -may even have been high 120's and ended it seeing 161 on the scale going into the holiday season - I remember that day well and felt like I was in trouble. I stayed in the low to mid 160's through most of 2006 fearful of ever seeing 170's - I couldn't even believe I was in the 160's. I had a good loss spurt in the summer of 2006 and started eating well and exercising and got down to 147 for a brief time and then balanced out in the low 150's again. I know these numbers are some of your goals, but I am a very small framed 5' 3ish" - I was actually told by docs that I could stand to lose 10-15lbs when I was in the high 120's! (I was briefly 119 before my wedding and I felt completely uncurvy - don't feel the need to go back there) So I felt really fat and out of control. I started wondering if I just needed to accept that I was meant to be a "big girl" because I love food so much and I was so weary of the battle with weight that I had been on since I bought my first diet book at the age of 12. I started thinking perhaps I'll just surrender and find clothes that look good on this body and learn to love it. The holidays of 2006 brought my Dad's sudden illness and then passing 2 months later and I ballooned up again - I saw 171 on the scale right after his death. I didn't even recognize myself in the video of his memorial. I came back down a few pounds fairly quickly - a lot of it was put on from major comfort eating during those last few weeks and so when I returned to my more normal eating, it came off - but it really freaked me out that I had seen over 170. I hung in the mid to high 160's until this time last year when I started a more natural approach to cutting out things that I was potentially allergic or sensitive to and found that I was feeling so much better, and although slower than I ever had considered a "diet" before, I dropped 12 pounds while not even focusing on it - over about 5 months. I realized I could eat this way forever and feel good. And then I found CAD, that showed me I could have the best of both - the healthy eating, and a way to have some of the treats and things I had always thought of as no-no's and so thought of them as bad which would lead me to crazy thinking and off on a bad path. Not anymore - there really is a way to keep control without being too rigid - and it feels good and easy! Not that I haven't deviated on vacation - and may do so again - but coming back was easy, not like dieting after being bad. So I'm feeling on track and pretty good this morning! Reflecting has helped me see my journey here - and to lighten up on myself because I really do believe, after what I've experienced the past year, that food has such an effect on us that we are never taught - the insulin effect and how easy it is to become "addicted" and feel out of control without even realizing we're doing something to fuel that. I never thought that I could be at this weight (151) and be able to acknowledge that things are good and not feel fixated on getting to 125 - I know it's possible now and I'll get there - or wherever it is I decide is comfortable. And I can now put the past 3 years of feeling horrible and fearful about my weight behind me - not because I'm at goal, but because I feel hopeful and knowledgable that I don't "have" to go back there. I'm sorry to have rambled on and on – it feels good to have taken a look though. -Amy

07-19-2008, 02:04 PM	#3
Christie777 Junior LCF Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 10 Gallery: Christie777 Stats: 138/138/128 5'3" WOE: CALP Start Date: September 2008	Tinkerloo, (((HUGS))) So sorry to hear about your parents passing. I am happy to hear you are healing and that your weight is coming off more easily and that you don't feel stressed about it anymore. Thanks for sharing. CAD and CALP are great parameters for many people. I'm surprised more people have not found it. Perhaps it is the restrictive one hour of eating that puts some people off.

07-21-2008, 11:08 AM	#4
Hoppinn Senior LCF Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: California Posts: 343 Gallery: Hoppinn Stats: 236/188/140 WOE: CALP Start Date: March 3, 2008	Tink, I think this is a wonderful thread for those that want to tell their story. I am looking forward to reading how many of us got here and where we are all going. I will not be posting my story here since I have already started a blog and have been writing my story there. If anyone is interested in my story, you can view it by clicking on the link that is included in my signature. I wish everyone the utmost success in your journey!