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Old 03-02-2011, 07:34 AM   #1
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On Being Fat: Friendship and Weight Loss

Let me first say how happy I am to have found you all! This board has been incredibly supportive, offering great advice and tips for staying on this plan and finding success. I think this is why I've been so struck by how SOME (not all) of my friends over the years and right now, have reacted to my being overweight. To put it bluntly: They like me fat.

I find that my friends fall into two categories: Those who are also struggling to lose weight but who really enjoy having a fatty-friend to eat out with. They figure things can't be so bad if we are all having a big bowl of pasta together. And then I have some friends who are fairly slim and healthy but who right now are not all that supportive of my new journey.

At the end of the day, both groups want me to stay fat. The fellow fatties want me to taste their food--"Just one bite..." and really are offended and horrified when I say no. I can't tell you how many times I have been offered sweets by friends after I tell them I'm on a weight-loss plan. I had one friend literally shove a piece of strawberry cake in my face--even after I told her I really was trying to get this weight off. I took a piece of her cake in a Glad-ware container and gave it to my daughter when I got home. It was the only way to get her off my back. But she seemed really happy that she had "broken" me and that I took the cake. Another struggling friend sent me an email (unsolicited) about how to weigh myself correctly. WHO ASKED HER for that? See, I think she liked knowing she had someone else who was big and who she thought was just like her. But who wants to get an email like that? I realized at that moment that--no matter how helpful she may have trying to be--I really am perceived by others as being overweight and that my obesity means people can feel free to give me advice and that we're all in one BIG club together.

My healthier friends would also like me to stay plump. I have always been up for the big lunch out at work--complete with appetizers and dessert. They're a bit bummed these days that the party has ended. They say things like, "Wow...You're really trying to be good...Good for you...." (They don't mean it. They want to go out and eat.) Or, they'll also say, "You can still go out and EAT, can't you???" One friend said, "I'm trying to lose weight too. But I feel bad saying that to you since I don't have the problem that you do..." And just the other day, my really skinny friend who just is blessed with great metabolism said when I told her I couldn't join her for lunch at our favorite place, "But you always like to go..." And that has certainly been true, but again, it told me that I am the fat person that loves to eat and everybody knows it. However, she was disappointed that I can't just go to any restaurant right now and order the deep dish apple pie or the nachos. She can eat those things and not gain an ounce. That's really what we used to do and she misses it.

So I think that's why I like this place. You all get it. I've had to say to some of these friends..."That's not supportive..." and they back off in shame (but they are clearly bummed). My husband says I should say, "Doctor's orders. I'm on a special diet." That's what he does and people just shut up and leave him alone. But how are all of you doing with your friends and weight loss? I'd be interested to hear other people's stories. Thanks for listening!
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Old 03-02-2011, 08:50 AM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chocolatefan View Post
Let me first say how happy I am to have found you all! This board has been incredibly supportive, offering great advice and tips for staying on this plan and finding success. I think this is why I've been so struck by how SOME (not all) of my friends over the years and right now, have reacted to my being overweight. To put it bluntly: They like me fat.

I find that my friends fall into two categories: Those who are also struggling to lose weight but who really enjoy having a fatty-friend to eat out with. They figure things can't be so bad if we are all having a big bowl of pasta together. And then I have some friends who are fairly slim and healthy but who right now are not all that supportive of my new journey.

At the end of the day, both groups want me to stay fat. The fellow fatties want me to taste their food--"Just one bite..." and really are offended and horrified when I say no. I can't tell you how many times I have been offered sweets by friends after I tell them I'm on a weight-loss plan. I had one friend literally shove a piece of strawberry cake in my face--even after I told her I really was trying to get this weight off. I took a piece of her cake in a Glad-ware container and gave it to my daughter when I got home. It was the only way to get her off my back. But she seemed really happy that she had "broken" me and that I took the cake. Another struggling friend sent me an email (unsolicited) about how to weigh myself correctly. WHO ASKED HER for that? See, I think she liked knowing she had someone else who was big and who she thought was just like her. But who wants to get an email like that? I realized at that moment that--no matter how helpful she may have trying to be--I really am perceived by others as being overweight and that my obesity means people can feel free to give me advice and that we're all in one BIG club together.

My healthier friends would also like me to stay plump. I have always been up for the big lunch out at work--complete with appetizers and dessert. They're a bit bummed these days that the party has ended. They say things like, "Wow...You're really trying to be good...Good for you...." (They don't mean it. They want to go out and eat.) Or, they'll also say, "You can still go out and EAT, can't you???" One friend said, "I'm trying to lose weight too. But I feel bad saying that to you since I don't have the problem that you do..." And just the other day, my really skinny friend who just is blessed with great metabolism said when I told her I couldn't join her for lunch at our favorite place, "But you always like to go..." And that has certainly been true, but again, it told me that I am the fat person that loves to eat and everybody knows it. However, she was disappointed that I can't just go to any restaurant right now and order the deep dish apple pie or the nachos. She can eat those things and not gain an ounce. That's really what we used to do and she misses it.

So I think that's why I like this place. You all get it. I've had to say to some of these friends..."That's not supportive..." and they back off in shame (but they are clearly bummed). My husband says I should say, "Doctor's orders. I'm on a special diet." That's what he does and people just shut up and leave him alone. But how are all of you doing with your friends and weight loss? I'd be interested to hear other people's stories. Thanks for listening!
Hi Chocolate ~ Oh yes! We had a similar discussion going on when I joined here in July. Your image not only changes to others as you lose weight, it also might change things in your head about yourself. In some cases, we have even been keeping the fat on as a sort of "shield" to keep people at a distance. So, I found out this program had a lot of psychological ramifications that I had never thought of before. It takes one time, and it will take your friends time, too, to adjust to the new you!
As far as your friends, it reminds me of smokers and drinkers who hate it when one of their "smokin buddies" or "drinkin buddies" quits... they almost don't know how to relate to the person who is trying to better him/herself. The other side is that some "friends" may not like feeling guilty about their own unhealthy choices, or perhaps they're even a little jealous of your strength. I liked your response, as well as your husband's ~ they're both true! And, as your play the "broken record" of responses like that, people will tire of tormenting you ... or, if they don't, you may have to avoid them, because they are not your friends at that point.
My humble suggestion? Put a big smile on your face, be proud of yourself, and get something new and pretty to wear as you lose inches... showing your happiness and pride may even encourage someone else to jump on the Medi bandwagon!! Hugs to you!!
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Old 03-02-2011, 09:49 AM   #3
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To be completely honest with you, I have not told many people about my diet. I started to at the beginning, but I was shocked at how many people told me I was not eating enough calories and how unhealthy this plan is because of that. They said I will just gain all the weight back, it's a waste of money, blah blah blah. My very close friends know and are very supportive. When we are around others I will simply say no thank you to something and if they ask I just say I am watching my calories and it ususally ends at that.

I was shocked that the most supportive person has been my ultra skinny assistant. She can eat anything and not gain a pound and if she does gain a little, she eats fruit for a day and any extra weight is gone. She is always so excited to hear I have lost. She actually monitores how much water I drink every day!! She knows I get busy and don't think about it so she shoves water in my face several times a day. Of everyone I know, I would have never expected that from her. It has been really nice.

The saying is true though... misery loves company. Maybe your friends who are overweight don't like the thought of being that way alone.
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Old 03-02-2011, 10:54 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chocolatefan View Post
Let me first say how happy I am to have found you all! This board has been incredibly supportive, offering great advice and tips for staying on this plan and finding success. I think this is why I've been so struck by how SOME (not all) of my friends over the years and right now, have reacted to my being overweight. To put it bluntly: They like me fat.

I find that my friends fall into two categories: Those who are also struggling to lose weight but who really enjoy having a fatty-friend to eat out with. They figure things can't be so bad if we are all having a big bowl of pasta together. And then I have some friends who are fairly slim and healthy but who right now are not all that supportive of my new journey.

At the end of the day, both groups want me to stay fat. The fellow fatties want me to taste their food--"Just one bite..." and really are offended and horrified when I say no. I can't tell you how many times I have been offered sweets by friends after I tell them I'm on a weight-loss plan. I had one friend literally shove a piece of strawberry cake in my face--even after I told her I really was trying to get this weight off. I took a piece of her cake in a Glad-ware container and gave it to my daughter when I got home. It was the only way to get her off my back. But she seemed really happy that she had "broken" me and that I took the cake. Another struggling friend sent me an email (unsolicited) about how to weigh myself correctly. WHO ASKED HER for that? See, I think she liked knowing she had someone else who was big and who she thought was just like her. But who wants to get an email like that? I realized at that moment that--no matter how helpful she may have trying to be--I really am perceived by others as being overweight and that my obesity means people can feel free to give me advice and that we're all in one BIG club together.

My healthier friends would also like me to stay plump. I have always been up for the big lunch out at work--complete with appetizers and dessert. They're a bit bummed these days that the party has ended. They say things like, "Wow...You're really trying to be good...Good for you...." (They don't mean it. They want to go out and eat.) Or, they'll also say, "You can still go out and EAT, can't you???" One friend said, "I'm trying to lose weight too. But I feel bad saying that to you since I don't have the problem that you do..." And just the other day, my really skinny friend who just is blessed with great metabolism said when I told her I couldn't join her for lunch at our favorite place, "But you always like to go..." And that has certainly been true, but again, it told me that I am the fat person that loves to eat and everybody knows it. However, she was disappointed that I can't just go to any restaurant right now and order the deep dish apple pie or the nachos. She can eat those things and not gain an ounce. That's really what we used to do and she misses it.

So I think that's why I like this place. You all get it. I've had to say to some of these friends..."That's not supportive..." and they back off in shame (but they are clearly bummed). My husband says I should say, "Doctor's orders. I'm on a special diet." That's what he does and people just shut up and leave him alone. But how are all of you doing with your friends and weight loss? I'd be interested to hear other people's stories. Thanks for listening!
I didn't tell anyone at first that I was on a diet. I waited until it was noticeable that I was losing weight. Because I have lost before and gained it back on numerous occasions I just wanted to keep it to myself. I've been told that I look better heavy because I have a large frame. I've been told that if I lose too much then I'll start to look sick so family and friends are always trying to shove food at you. But the thing that keeps me going is that I started to hate being the biggest person that I know and just depressed with the way I looked. So, when I get the haters because that is what they are, making negative comments and trying to force me to eat something that is not good for me then I just take a mental picture of the me now and the me I want to be and walk away. This journey is personal. If I lose friends along the way then they were not my friends from the being and I'm better off without them. So, chocolatefan just remember it's all about you and the heck with everyone that is not supportive of what you are trying to do. Keep you head up and always be the person that you want to be.
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Old 03-02-2011, 11:26 AM   #5
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what i hate are the people who know you are/were on a diet policing the food i eat..after i lost 60 lbs i decided to have one (1) piece of cake at a party and i can not tell you how many people pointed out to me "whether or not i was supposed to eat THAT"......uugghhh! go away - when i was fat they didnt care what i ate when i lost the weight everyone pointed out anything they suspected was not "legal" to eat that is really really really annoying.
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Old 03-02-2011, 11:54 AM   #6
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I'm not usually one to post on any forum, and being a newbie here makes me feel like I"m really stepping out on a limb! But, this thread really hit home and I'd like to chime in. This time around, my diet is on a strict "need to know basis" only. My husband is the only one who knows and he is not allowed to tell anyone, not even our kids; they'll figure it out soon enough. All of our family is out of state and/or country, and while I would especially love to share with my fit & trim sisters, I'm going to keep it a surprise. They mean well, but being the youngest even as I approach the big 50, they still like to give unsolicited advice. And friends just don't need to know - yet.

AnnK really hit the nail on the head, "As far as your friends, it reminds me of smokers & drinkers who hate it when one of their smoking or drinking buddies quits...they almost don't know how to relate to the person who is trying to better himself/herself." That was me ten years ago. I have beaten alcohol and a 3 pack of day cigarette habit - none of those "buddies" are in my life anymore and that's o.k. I AM better off for it. Now, it's
the battle against the white stuff and taking off the 100+ pounds gained after those two victories. I am more determined than ever and nothing will stop me from achieving this goal. I wish I knew how to change my screen name - I think "Trifecta" would be very fitting!

And, as Betty said, this journey is personal. Be strong. Stay focused. You can do it!
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Old 03-02-2011, 12:43 PM   #7
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I just tell people "I am cutting out unhealthy carbs and "white foods", so that I can be healthier. And leave it at that. Yes there is way more to it than that, but they don't need to know everything. Then when I pass up a peice of cake they don't say anything to me. I still go out to eat with my friends, I just eat before I go, and then say "I'm not hungry" and just sip on some water. Or if I go somewhere I know the menu I just get grilled chicken and a veggie, and take small bites. No one has ever said anything to me about it. Soon enough they will see a physical difference in you and leave you alone.
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Old 03-02-2011, 01:06 PM   #8
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I actually had it pretty easy on this front! We live out in the country, and once DH lost his job (My business closed earlier ) we really didn't see too many people. Our kids both live about 3 hours away, and just roller their eyes when they found out, since we (mainly me) have been on MANY, MANY "diets" over the years, only to regain after each one. After I had lost about 40-50 pounds I went out to a fund raiser with several other female "friends", (several ranged from a few pounds overweight to quite large....one is really thin) and not one of them said a word about how good I was looking! or even seemed to notice at all......I'm only 5'2" so that much weight is noticable! I was crushed! I did hear from my neighbor (who knows about medi) that one of those women thought I "might" have cancer since I lost weight so fast........REALLY??? My neighbor told her I had lost weight on purpose, and that she thought I was looking GREAT.....at that time the first "friend" agreed, but said she felt uncomfortable saying anything to me that night! BS I certainly didn't look sick in any way, shape, or form!

I had lunch with other TRUE friends a couple weeks ago. Most of them had not seen me since my transformation, and they were thrilled! We went to Red Lobster and we ordered what we wanted, but they did not even offer me a biscuit......I ate my grilled shrimp, and a tiny bit of salad, but was having such a good time "catching up" with my friends I really didn't care if I ate or not. They are all the type that eat until they are full, then quit. When it came time for dessert they asked if I wanted to "share" with them, but when I said no that was it.......no badgering, no trying to tempt me. They all shared 1 dessert. As we left they all hugged me, and told me how proud of me they are. BTW These women are all slim and trim! Guess it takes all kinds!

While we were in Jacksonville over the last weekend, we went out to eat with DS and his family. As we were leaving Bill took a couple of the french fries left on our granddaughter's plate......we were barely in the car when I got a text message from DIL telling me that she caught Bill "cheating"!! I told her he was doing maintenance for a while. She seemed really disappointed!
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Old 03-02-2011, 02:20 PM   #9
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I also have not told anyone. In my line of work people would think I was CRAZY! (don't get me wrong, I still taste the food, because I have to). I have had to deal with this quite bit the last few years while going to culinary school (I quit my job and everyone thought I was nuts), when I started my own business (again, people thought I was crazy and had to point out all the pitfalls, and did I really know what I was getting into) I think we all have these people in our lives. I recently had to re evaluate who I was letting into my life and what I was letting them say to me. I don't need their fears and jealousies of my success to sabotage me. I don't have time for their reindeer games. Unfortunately it meant re-labeling some of my relationships. I found that that neighbor down the street is really just a great neighbor, the woman I walk with really just wants to talk about her problems, they weren't my friends, and some were actually frenimies. When I realized this I actually felt more free and it was then I joined medi-weight loss. AM I rambling???
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Old 03-03-2011, 05:39 AM   #10
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Aside from my mom, sisters and hubby, no one knows I am dieting. Oh, I forgot. MY PRIMARY DOCTOR LOL! He said go for it, but don't overdo it. Reasonable I think. On the other hand, his secretary, who I have know for a long time ranted and raved when I told her. "It's not healthy; you will lose muscle not just fat; 500 c is starvation mode, etc., etc. I had to listen to her ranting for a good solid 5 minutes and I am sure people in the waiting room were listening. THEN I noticed a pamphlet for a diet that a local doctor is promoting on the bookcase along with all the other prescription, high blood pressure, diabetes pamphlets. Guess what....I called...same diet, same prescription, MORE money...So Ok, tell me the diet sucks and then have reading material promoting it...LOL
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Old 03-03-2011, 06:34 AM   #11
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MARY:

Sometimes it just seems like people can't stand to be happy when good things happen to their friends. It is almost like life is a constant competition and people are only happy when they are in the lead!! I don't know you, but I can say almost every single post you has posted has helped me and your success is an inspiration!
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Old 03-03-2011, 07:16 AM   #12
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Believe it or not, my mother was my biggest hurdle. She swore I was dieing or something and even tho I told her that I was only eating proteins, she'd make a big ethic dinner and serve me a hot bed of rice with only a few pieces of meat. I go and dump back all rice and the arguments would start.

My sister in law is a vegitarian and my mother insist on feeding her stew... "but it has vegestables in it!"

She doesnt get it, and we all understand that. We just had to learn to work around her desires for us to eat the way she does. When I achieved goal weight, I received soo many "you look soo unhealthy" comments... meanwhile, this was the weight I was at many years ago and no one said anything back then.

These are challenges we all face, and these boards help me get through it.
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Old 03-03-2011, 10:34 AM   #13
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I have told all my friends and family and they all are really happy for me and are encouraging me. They all know that I needed a life change and this is it.
My daughter Renee saw ad for Medi Weight Loss on tv and told me about it. we looked it up online and found there was an office close to us and asked for info. someone called that day and I said "sign me up" My hubby thinks that I will get to obsessive with this diet. I have asked him to join me and he does eat what I eat at night but ads in other things too like bread. He says he has lost 5 lbs. I am not sure.
Anyway he says he is supporting me. My daughters are my biggest supporters tho and I can't wait til I reach my goal. Good luck everyone. Hugs,Lynn
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Old 03-03-2011, 11:51 AM   #14
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Originally Posted by DreamWarrior View Post

She doesnt get it, and we all understand that. We just had to learn to work around her desires for us to eat the way she does. When I achieved goal weight, I received soo many "you look soo unhealthy" comments... meanwhile, this was the weight I was at many years ago and no one said anything back then.

These are challenges we all face, and these boards help me get through it.
YOU look UNHEALTHY???? What a bunch of ****! You look great! I really think people overall don't like change. If that means we have to stay heavy so things don't change--they're thrilled. Meanwhile we're fighting high blood pressure and diabetes, but life's a dream for them because we haven't changed a bit. So excited to be here and working on this life plan with everyone.
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Old 03-03-2011, 12:00 PM   #15
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I got the "you'll loose muscle" from one friend who guessed what I was doing (I didn't tell her). She is overweight herself, and has struggled for years and tried several different diets. I have lost 45lbs, and last weekend I ran a half marathon (13.1 miles). I think my muscles are just fine.
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Old 03-03-2011, 04:51 PM   #16
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My husband, parents, and brother are the only ones who know I did Medi. Whenever I was asked how I was losing the weight (after being told several times how high-protein low-carb diets were no good, 500 cal would kill me, etc) I began just saying I was losing weight the old-fashioned way with diet and exercise. My friends really haven't been a problem, the closest friends have complimented on my success, while the rest haven't mentioned it at all.

My biggest obstacle is my mother-in-law who a few years ago lost over 75 lbs after being diagnosed borderline diabetic and being told she needed to begin monitoring her levels several times throughout the day. She begin eating very carefully and walking each day. Once she got the all-clear from her dr that she wasn't in danger anymore, she went right back to where she was and has since gained the weight back and then some. But she is one of those overweight woman who feels the need to preach the "right" ways to lose weight (her biggest thing is to not eat all day to "save" calories! and she has very skewed perceptions about what is ok to eat and what isn't - like snacking on an entire bag of carrots doesn't count towards your daily carb intake because they are a good carb and anything labeled sugar free doesn't count either). During our vacation she kept giving me advice on how I should eat and telling me how bad it was that I trained my body to eat every few hours because I am constantly eating and FINALLY DH said that maybe she should follow my lead because I am the one who just lost 100 lbs whereas she just about gained that. She stopped after that!

Dream warrior is right - these ARE challenges we all face, and I am so thankful for having this board and a group of people who truly get it!
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Old 03-03-2011, 05:05 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KellyInVenice View Post
MARY:

Sometimes it just seems like people can't stand to be happy when good things happen to their friends. It is almost like life is a constant competition and people are only happy when they are in the lead!! I don't know you, but I can say almost every single post you has posted has helped me and your success is an inspiration!
THANKS Kelly.....I hope I can support people the way I was supported (and still am every day)! It really is wonderful to "talk" to people who really understand!
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Old 03-03-2011, 07:32 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by lins View Post
I got the "you'll loose muscle" from one friend who guessed what I was doing (I didn't tell her). She is overweight herself, and has struggled for years and tried several different diets. I have lost 45lbs, and last weekend I ran a half marathon (13.1 miles). I think my muscles are just fine.
Nice!!! Love this!!!!
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Old 03-03-2011, 07:39 PM   #19
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[QUOTE=mommy2princesses;14433740FINALLY DH said that maybe she should follow my lead because I am the one who just lost 100 lbs whereas she just about gained that. She stopped after that!

[/QUOTE]

That's what it takes sometimes... I haven't told ANYBODY except my physician husband about Medi. He's very supportive of this plan and is impressed by how quickly it works. Also had dinner with another physician last weekend and only mentioned I was trying to "cut back." Never mentioned Medi. He had just lost about 20 pounds himself and said, "The only way to do it is with a high-protein, low-carb diet and exercise." I have to say that was very reassuring!
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Old 03-03-2011, 09:57 PM   #20
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Like has been said above, it's funny how all our stories are parallel. I haven't told anyone the past 2 weeks what I am doing other than my wife. I hear, though, people say those who do diets such as this will waste away to nothing and we'll lose muscle..and we'll all put it back on after we "go back to the way we ate". Well, yeah...we will. This is a great method and the gradual way food is incorporated back into our routine is not going to allow us to revert to where we were.
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Old 03-04-2011, 05:00 AM   #21
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Originally Posted by WichitaLoser View Post
Like has been said above, it's funny how all our stories are parallel. I haven't told anyone the past 2 weeks what I am doing other than my wife. I hear, though, people say those who do diets such as this will waste away to nothing and we'll lose muscle..and we'll all put it back on after we "go back to the way we ate". Well, yeah...we will. This is a great method and the gradual way food is incorporated back into our routine is not going to allow us to revert to where we were.
You are right! We can't go back to our old ways. I have found that as I continue through the weeks, I find new and exciting foods and alternatives that I would have never looked at if I had not started MWL. I spend most of my time in the organic, produce and vegan sections of my grocery store. Even if I can't eat some of it right now, I know I can in the future. I don't want to go back to big portions, fast and FATTY foods.
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Old 03-04-2011, 05:31 AM   #22
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I was sharing some of these posts with my DH (who is also doing Medi.....all tho right now he's doing more of a maintenance program.....he's lost close to 100 pounds) and he asked me to post that over the past weekend while helping DS (and family) move......he (DH) was able to lift heavier pieces of furniture MUCH easier than the two 33 yr old guys also helping. He laughed right out loud at the two "boys" when they were trying to lift their side of a VERY heavy 8 ft sofa! DS moved into a two story house, and we were zipping up, and down the stairs while everyone else was huffing and puffing! I wanted to post a pic of DH's "GUNS" as he likes to call his biceps, but he wouldn't let me Muscle loss??? I THINK NOT!
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Old 03-04-2011, 09:56 PM   #23
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Yes, It does seem like we are in constant competition with our "friends" . I think doing this we really need to re evaluate who our friends are and who we need in our lives and what "voices" we are listening to. Doing this has been a hug wake up call to me. I have found so many are "threatened" by this...I think it comes out in ways that sound like concern but are really different ways of saying 'don't do this, don't change...I can't handle or deal with you changing in my life". but it's our lives, not theirs.
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Old 03-05-2011, 05:58 AM   #24
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Yes, It does seem like we are in constant competition with our "friends" . I think doing this we really need to re evaluate who our friends are and who we need in our lives and what "voices" we are listening to. Doing this has been a hug wake up call to me. I have found so many are "threatened" by this...I think it comes out in ways that sound like concern but are really different ways of saying 'don't do this, don't change...I can't handle or deal with you changing in my life". but it's our lives, not theirs.
I've been surprised (and sometimes NOT) by who your real friends turn out to be.......People come and go from our lives. They fill a need at a certain time, then go. I try to remind myself to feel grateful that each was in my life to fill a need.....but then I TRY to let go
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Old 03-05-2011, 06:06 AM   #25
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Thanks Mary- that's a good way of looking at it!
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Old 03-05-2011, 01:38 PM   #26
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Thanks Mary- that's a good way of looking at it!
Bill and I ran into an acquaintance today who just raved about how wonderful we both look! She's not someone we know very well at all, yet she remembers us, and really "made" our day! I love it when people are truly happy for your success!
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Old 03-09-2011, 11:21 AM   #27
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Just wanted to say how grateful I am to everyone on this board (and this seemed like the most appropriate place to put it). So far I have lost 17.2 lbs in 5 weeks!!!! I have really relied on everyone here and on other threads for support-and everyone has been so generous with advice, wisdom, or a shoulder to cry on. When I lost weight today I texted my husband, my sister and then LCF's because I knew you would be happy for me and would celebrate with me (just like I knew if I didn't lose I would get that boost to go on). I only hope I can be as much of a support to others as you all have been to me.

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Old 03-09-2011, 01:44 PM   #28
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Just wanted to say how grateful I am to everyone on this board (and this seemed like the most appropriate place to put it). So far I have lost 17.2 lbs in 5 weeks!!!! I have really relied on everyone here and on other threads for support-and everyone has been so generous with advice, wisdom, or a shoulder to cry on. When I lost weight today I texted my husband, my sister and then LCF's because I knew you would be happy for me and would celebrate with me (just like I knew if I didn't lose I would get that boost to go on). I only hope I can be as much of a support to others as you all have been to me.
Wooot!!!! This is FANTASTIC!!! Start thinking about your new summer wardrobe and celebrate the fabulousness that is you!!! Good job!!!
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Old 03-10-2011, 02:09 PM   #29
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In the beginning I didn't really tell anyone. but as I got used to it I got proud of how well I was doing and liked talking about it. Now, I will tell anyone who is interested (and some who aren't! )

My friends are all pretty great and are supportive, they don't shove food down my throat. My boyfriend recently has been starting to do the P90x program and basically watches what I eat, and eats the same. He will indulge in a few more things than me (like a few more drinks when we go out...meaning he loves the fact that I am the DD by default these days, lol)

My family can be the biggest hurdle something, but they are 200 miles away at the closest so that helps. My mom thinks I am depriving myself and constantly tries to find a way to reassure herself that I am not by saying things like "but you can have as much as you of (insert random "healthy" thing here)". And I have to come back and say "NO! you can NEVER EVER have as much as you want of ANYTHING dammit*!" It drives me nuts! She has been trying to lose weight for a while. I was hoping that my success would help inspire her, but no such luck. She keeps trying to start weight watchers (she is convinced that she can't do Medi... that would be too hard) but then decides to go out for mexican and margaritas with the neighbors as a treat for following the plan for a day or two. I have also tried to talk her in to some excercise thing or another, but her response is that she "plays tennis" 2-3 times per week. I have watched these matches.... there isn't alot of running or moving in seniors doubles tennis, at least not until you get to more skilled levels. I have tried to at least get her to drink more water when we are together.... she drinks diet coke.... even during matches... all day long. The latest excuse was that it was the fault of the medication she is now weaning herself off of... When she is off the medication, she will drop 20 pounds in a snap...

It is a bit more than frustrating to have someone try to tell you (maybe not outright... but with a strong cut of passive aggresivness) how to take care of yourself. If she was just a friend, I would give up and worry about myself. But, she is my mom.. I want her to be healthy (right now it is kind of scary... there are times where I have to ask if she is ok because she is breathing heavy walking through a parking lot) but I am at my wits end. I know what it is like to want to lose weight but to not seem to have the will power to do it (flash back to myself before MEDI) and to make excuses for everything and anything as to why I was still huge. And I know she is at that point... Its just......aggravating. For gods sake, shut up and do something about it and stop trying to tell me what to do.

Whew. Now that I have hijacked the topic and vented and whined like 5 year old about my mom (my bad!)...

Friends and my weightloss...

Oh yeah, supportive friends are great! I am still learning how to respond to their compliments though.

example...

Friend: You look skinny!
Me: Thanks!
.....
.....(Awkward Silence)
....
Me: how 'bout them Dolphins?

I don't know if it just me being a socially awkward individual or what... but I just don't know how to react.

Even more awkward is when I see someone I work with (but talk to more via email at my desk than face to face) that I haven't actually run into in a while:

Coworker: Hey, have you lost weight?
Me: Yes.
....
....(Awkward Silence)
...
Me: I should get back to work...


Keep in mind that I work with ALOT of male engineers (meaning I work with some REALLY nerdy people...I am myself quite nerdy ). To some of them... that is a stretch for a conversation, lol.

I just don't know how to respond. I am happy they noticed but do I say "Yes, I was huge wasn't I?"

Someone please send me to charm school....


*unless it is water
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Old 03-10-2011, 02:58 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GatorEng2007 View Post
My family can be the biggest hurdle something, but they are 200 miles away at the closest so that helps. My mom thinks I am depriving myself and constantly tries to find a way to reassure herself that I am not by saying things like "but you can have as much as you of (insert random "healthy" thing here)". And I have to come back and say "NO! you can NEVER EVER have as much as you want of ANYTHING dammit*!" It drives me nuts! She has been trying to lose weight for a while. I was hoping that my success would help inspire her, but no such luck. She keeps trying to start weight watchers (she is convinced that she can't do Medi... that would be too hard) but then decides to go out for mexican and margaritas with the neighbors as a treat for following the plan for a day or two. I have also tried to talk her in to some excercise thing or another, but her response is that she "plays tennis" 2-3 times per week. I have watched these matches.... there isn't alot of running or moving in seniors doubles tennis, at least not until you get to more skilled levels. I have tried to at least get her to drink more water when we are together.... she drinks diet coke.... even during matches... all day long. The latest excuse was that it was the fault of the medication she is now weaning herself off of... When she is off the medication, she will drop 20 pounds in a snap...

It is a bit more than frustrating to have someone try to tell you (maybe not outright... but with a strong cut of passive aggresivness) how to take care of yourself. If she was just a friend, I would give up and worry about myself. But, she is my mom.. I want her to be healthy (right now it is kind of scary... there are times where I have to ask if she is ok because she is breathing heavy walking through a parking lot) but I am at my wits end. I know what it is like to want to lose weight but to not seem to have the will power to do it (flash back to myself before MEDI) and to make excuses for everything and anything as to why I was still huge. And I know she is at that point... Its just......aggravating. For gods sake, shut up and do something about it and stop trying to tell me what to do.

Whew. Now that I have hijacked the topic and vented and whined like 5 year old about my mom (my bad!)...

Friends and my weightloss...

Oh yeah, supportive friends are great! I am still learning how to respond to their compliments though.

example...

Friend: You look skinny!
Me: Thanks!
.....
.....(Awkward Silence)
....
Me: how 'bout them Dolphins?

I don't know if it just me being a socially awkward individual or what... but I just don't know how to react.

Even more awkward is when I see someone I work with (but talk to more via email at my desk than face to face) that I haven't actually run into in a while:

Coworker: Hey, have you lost weight?
Me: Yes.
....
....(Awkward Silence)
...
Me: I should get back to work...


Keep in mind that I work with ALOT of male engineers (meaning I work with some REALLY nerdy people...I am myself quite nerdy ). To some of them... that is a stretch for a conversation, lol.

I just don't know how to respond. I am happy they noticed but do I say "Yes, I was huge wasn't I?"

Someone please send me to charm school....


*unless it is water
Charlie, You're GREAT! I LOVE your posts!

When you write about your Mom, I want to just cut and paste, and change "Mom" to "daughter" and post it as my own! My DD used to run cross country track, and even did hurdles (is that the way it's spelled? it looks odd) for a while in HS. NOW she is huge (I'm not being mean, just honest) She has stopped taking the offending meds "that made her fat" and she hasn't lost an ounce! She doesn't want to even TRY anything I would suggest, so I don't yet when her DR told her she'd probably gain weight on this one med.....she LISTENED to him!

I'm getting much better at taking compliments as they come. It's getting a little easier to smile and thank them for noticing! It was really hard at first when you're not used to genuine compliments! I still tend to say too much. When someone compliments me on how nice I look, I want to explain that I bought this outfit at Goodwill, or on sale, instead of just saying thanks

Last edited by Mary T8M; 03-10-2011 at 03:00 PM..
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