*~* Jazzed Up July with MWL *~*

[Charlene4]

Originally Posted by tydreamer

Okay, so just since I posted a bit ago, I have raided the cabinets. I HATE feeling this out of control. Healthy for the first part of the day. Chicken for breakfast. Chicken for lunch, 10 cherries, s/f jello, cottage cheese. Then a few almonds. Then a few more. Then the rest of the 100 calorie pack. Then 70 calories worth of this dark chocolate peanut butter that I found at Walmart yesterday. Yum. Then about 70 calories worth of the new mini turkey pepperonis crisped up in the microwave. THEN a few spoonfuls of peanut butter. I'm gonna guess about 300 calories worth. So I've already eaten about 1,000 calories so far today. 900 from protein. AND there're pork chops brining to be put on the grill for dinner. I HATE these moments of weakness. Healthy choices? Yes. Healthy amount of calories? Maybe, tho over the recommended. Healthy mindset? Absolutely not. I feel like crying.

Some days when I'm reading these posts and I see that others are struggling, I wonder why on that particular day, I feel so strong and my calories are right on target and I have energy and determination and 100% committment and am sure. And other days when I read about everyone else's successes and resistances, and accomplishments I wonder why I have to feel so weak and still so wrapped up in my eating disorders. And even tho I'm only SIX (6) pounds from goal and have lost almost an even 60 pounds, I'm still miles away from being "cured" in my head.

I saw on the wall at the clinic that there's some special counseling for those who feel they need some additional attention. Has anyone taken advantage of this at their clinic? Has it helped? What is wrong with me?

Thank you, friends, for all of your support.

I'm with Nance....I love what she wrote, all of it. As far as your eating today...I totally feel ya. I haven't been "doing this" for nearly as long as you either but I think it has something to do with getting close to the goal weight. I am 4 pounds from my original goal and decided I wanted to lose another 5-10 more...but I have a lot more confidence now. I cheated last friday (just a little) and I tend to, like you explain, graze, the last couple nights. I have a bite of this, a bite of that....especially today. My "normal" eating was:
B-CM yogurt (80)
S-String cheese (60)
L-Tofurky/soy cheese (140)
S-1/4 atkins bar (50 cals worth)
D-Protein pancake (110)
Sounds great so far and then I get settled in at home and have, a little peanut butter, a big bite of this mutant brownie thing I made that's made with medi friendly ingredients, then 2 cinnamon oopsies (50 cals each) and about a tbsp of ff cream cheese....I don't know what the deal is tonight....and I still want more. Anyway....my point is, it just seems like I have read similar posts from people who are less than or around 10 pounds from goal...maybe there's something to it.Sigh....

[tydreamer]

Originally Posted by Nance7

Oh, Lea. Nothing is wrong with you! You are human, that's all. We are all struggling with these same issues, or we wouldn't be here. I look at your picture and your "numbers" and see how far you've come, and I think you are just beautiful and strong, even if a tiny bit of the time, you feel weak and out of control.

Is there any way that you can get out of the house when you are feeling like this? Take a walk or a run or a bike ride, or just drive and/or walk around in stores? Maybe look at clothes that you can now fit into, that you never imagined yourself wearing? (Don't have to buy them, just feel really good about yourself because you can fit into them. Look in their mirrors a lot. )

What helps me (and realize that I've been doing this for only 7 weeks, not nearly as long as you have) is to realize that, no matter how much I could have of the foods that I love, it will never be enough. I could eat an entire vat of ice cream, a store full of cookies, etc., and I would still want more. Somehow, that keeps me from getting started.

I think that what you're going through is just a blip on the radar, a reminder of why you are doing this plan and how you got here. You're so, so close! Don't let this one day set you back. And that's all this is--JUST ONE BAD DAY.

No, I haven't heard of the counseling at my clinic. I think that, if they have it, you should definitely take advantage of it.

Wow - another beautiful, kind heart. I love having your picture with your information so I know who said these beautiful words to me. Thank you.

This has been the worst day for me in the 6 months I've been on this plan. I did NOT eat on plan today. I blew it, blew it, blew it. And I don't mean just the calorie overload OR the frame of mind. I mean I ate OFF plan,ON purpose. I knew I was making a bad choice and I did it anyway. And it's like you said, a vat of ice cream or a store full of cookies wouldn't be enough. I always want more. And for 6 months, I've not given in to any of that because I know that about myself too. But today, that corn on the cob and Starbust candies were more than I could take.

I am going to try to forgive myself for this one and listen to your words - that's all this is -- just one bad day. Because it was horrible. And I know just what to do to get back on plan and get those last 6 (probably up to 10 by now!!!) pounds off and maintain. I just need to FORGIVE myself instead of telling myself how horrible I am or how I can't do anything right. My mind really needs some healing. I might read my Beck Diet stuff some more or start the one I just received about "It's Not About Food" or whatever the name of it is.

I have high hopes for tomorrow but don't want to set myself up for failure. I need to be realistic. I need to get back on track. I am so close. And I CAN do this. Right?

[irabeslim]

Nance, you said "What helps me (and realize that I've been doing this for only 7 weeks, not nearly as long as you have) is to realize that, no matter how much I could have of the foods that I love, it will never be enough. I could eat an entire vat of ice cream, a store full of cookies, etc., and I would still want more. Somehow, that keeps me from getting started". This is right on the money. In the moment of weakness I will be telling myself this.

Lea, I have those days too. We are not "cured" in our heads yet. I think it will take several years - I am sure that our brains have been rewired while we were abusing our bodies with all THAT JUNK. We can rewire it back but it will take a long time and lots of patience. I hope we will get there.

[Mrs. P]

Quick question for those of you that are going to the clinic weekly. I have been to my clinic now for three weigh ins. I have lost a total of 9.8 pounds. To date I have not seen a doctor I have only talked with the nurse. Is this what should be happening? Any direction would be helpful. Week one was a loss of 6.8. Week two was 2.2 and week three was only 8 ounces. All they said was good you are losing and just stick with the plan. 500 cal of protein and add back the vegs and fruit but not on the same days because I am already out of ketosis again. Does everyone else meet with a doctor or have you at least met one at you clinics.?

[tydreamer]

Originally Posted by Charlene4

I'm with Nance....I love what she wrote, all of it. As far as your eating today...I totally feel ya. I haven't been "doing this" for nearly as long as you either but I think it has something to do with getting close to the goal weight. I am 4 pounds from my original goal and decided I wanted to lose another 5-10 more...but I have a lot more confidence now. I cheated last friday (just a little) and I tend to, like you explain, graze, the last couple nights. I have a bite of this, a bite of that....especially today.

Charlene, I think there's something about being close to goal too. Especially since my original goal was 160. Then I changed it to 150. Then to 145. Part of me is thinking, I'm done with this strict phase and I would really like to be allowed a few more calories. I eat more calories than the recommended 500 and I'm still losing and it's healthy, legal stuff, so I probably think I can get away with it on some subconscious level. The other part of me says, Let's just DO THIS and lose the last few pounds in two weeks THEN we'll get to add the extra calories. I'm torn and I want to know that I can GET to goal.

But it's not a race and it's not like there's a true finish line. This will continue for me for the rest of my life. Which is the ONLY thing that brings me comfort after my horrible choices today. I'm SURE this won't be the only time I eat something that isn't the perfect choice. And I've already said I will allow myself indulgences occasionally. So really, the corn on the cob and handful of Starbursts could just be my first of my "monthly" indulgences. I'm just afraid I've opened the door and I won't be able to get it closed again.

[irabeslim]

Originally Posted by Mrs. P

Quick question for those of you that are going to the clinic weekly. I have been to my clinic now for three weigh ins. I have lost a total of 9.8 pounds. To date I have not seen a doctor I have only talked with the nurse. Is this what should be happening? Any direction would be helpful. Week one was a loss of 6.8. Week two was 2.2 and week three was only 8 ounces. All they said was good you are losing and just stick with the plan. 500 cal of protein and add back the vegs and fruit but not on the same days because I am already out of ketosis again. Does everyone else meet with a doctor or have you at least met one at you clinics.?

I never met the doctor. I only met Physician Assitant the first 2 times. All my visits are just weigh-ins by a medical assistant/nurse aid. They told me I can see PA if I have questions but they never offered to me to see a doctor. Again, I have never even seen him/her. I was a little disappointed about that - for $85 they could offer some more service but then I was losing so much that I did not care.

[Sunflower531]

Originally Posted by tydreamer

Hi all. I'm getting really eager to hit goal and get into maintenance now. I'm about 6 pounds away and I REALLY want to get there soon so I can start learning it before school starts and it gets crazy again. I read the posts about starches and I feel lost. I'm SO good at this Medi acute stuff and know calorie totals and portions, etc., but then we add more veggies, more fruit, x amount of starches, and we need to stay under y amount of fat grams, and on and on. I want to be planning NOW what I'm going to be eating in a few weeks. I'm kinda anal that way.

I hear you Lea, I want to know how I am going to make this thing stick!
Going on week 4 and I already want to know how I am suppose to be planning for the maintenance stage. I know that I will have to eat around 1350 cal. 40% will be protein and 40% carbs and 20% fats. So now I am worrying how I can eat a whopper and still stay in the boundaries....I think I'll just cut it in half!!!

Week 3 -2.4 lbs. That's 10 lbs. down in 3 weeks. Everyone is telling me this is real good...but I want it to go much faster!!!

I'm reading everyone's posts...your all doing great. Press on!

[Mrs. P]

Irabeslim thank you for responding, and I looked at your numbers to date WOW congrats to you. I too thought with the amount I am paying every week I would be seen by the doctor at least once. Well I am just going to continue this and see how it works out. I have to say my weight loss of 8oz was no ones fault but my own. I was out of town for 5 days and was not in a position to cook or shop for myself. Back home now so it is back to the basics.

[tydreamer]

Originally Posted by irabeslim

Nance, you said "What helps me (and realize that I've been doing this for only 7 weeks, not nearly as long as you have) is to realize that, no matter how much I could have of the foods that I love, it will never be enough. I could eat an entire vat of ice cream, a store full of cookies, etc., and I would still want more. Somehow, that keeps me from getting started". This is right on the money. In the moment of weakness I will be telling myself this.

Lea, I have those days too. We are not "cured" in our heads yet. I think it will take several years - I am sure that our brains have been rewired while we were abusing our bodies with all THAT JUNK. We can rewire it back but it will take a long time and lots of patience. I hope we will get there.

Thank you. When I read your words of wisdom it makes me feel more patient with myself. I've always been an all or nothing kind of person. I'd like to lose that mentality because we ARE making progress. Every single day. Every choice can't be perfect, but our journey can still lead to success.

[eptexy]

Lea, I was just on reading posts and not intending to comment but I saw your struggles and wanted to add that it's entirely possible to continue to lose in maintenance. When I was at 130 (my goal weight was 125 originally) I decided I was done. I just couldn't do acute anymore. I was cheating here and there and it was bringing me nothing but stress and guilt. Now that I'm on maintenance, I'm still losing a few. I'm down to 124. That's a 6 lb loss from "goal" at 1400 (and sometimes more) calories and I'm much more comfortable hunger-wise.

Now I'm not encouraging anyone to cheat or quit before they're ready. I'm just saying that if you're close and finding it difficult to get down to a lower weight, maybe adding in calories will help your body reboot.

Hope that makes sense. I'm exhausted and not thinking straight these days.

[Fit2010]

Lea - You wrote: "Thank you. When I read your words of wisdom it makes me feel more patient with myself. I've always been an all or nothing kind of person. I'd like to lose that mentality because we ARE making progress. Every single day. Every choice can't be perfect, but our journey can still lead to success."

I hate reading that you are pointing your finger at yourself and talking negatively to yourself. Hey, be nice to my friend! Remember, we ARE making progress....our journey can still lead to success...!" Do you think you're also giving yourself a "vacation" because you didn't go away? Just a thought. Darned Cipro (for you!)

Just finished schoolwork assignment....off to bed after EI/EO update!

[Ortal]

Originally Posted by tydreamer

Thank you. When I read your words of wisdom it makes me feel more patient with myself. I've always been an all or nothing kind of person. I'd like to lose that mentality because we ARE making progress. Every single day. Every choice can't be perfect, but our journey can still lead to success.

And also, every day that we are losing/maintaining we are also not gaining! I just think of the damage I could have done to my body in the past 12 weeks had I not been doing this. Id probably be at around 200 lbs.

As I get closer to goal and my weight loss slows down I have to remind myself that not every week is a 3 lbs week, not every day is perfect.

My goal for today is to stick to week 1.... no south beach bars and crap like that. Its kicked me out of ketosis and I want to continue to burn fat not water. Im also going to start (FINALLY) Jillians 30 day shred today. My thighs are super-jiggly.

Ive developed (well, resurfaced) an issue with chewing and spitting. Im trying not to make this a habit because I know its gross/unnatural/not good for you. Anyone ever deal with this?

[SonoRoo]

Very tired. Very sad. Taking Kaiso to the vet this morning for his final visit.

[tydreamer]

Originally Posted by SonoRoo

Very tired. Very sad. Taking Kaiso to the vet this morning for his final visit.

Love and hugs and prayers, Shelley.

[tydreamer]

Originally Posted by eptexy

Lea, I was just on reading posts and not intending to comment but I saw your struggles and wanted to add that it's entirely possible to continue to lose in maintenance. When I was at 130 (my goal weight was 125 originally) I decided I was done. I just couldn't do acute anymore. I was cheating here and there and it was bringing me nothing but stress and guilt. Now that I'm on maintenance, I'm still losing a few. I'm down to 124. That's a 6 lb loss from "goal" at 1400 (and sometimes more) calories and I'm much more comfortable hunger-wise.

Now I'm not encouraging anyone to cheat or quit before they're ready. I'm just saying that if you're close and finding it difficult to get down to a lower weight, maybe adding in calories will help your body reboot.

Hope that makes sense. I'm exhausted and not thinking straight these days.

Erin, thanks for the insight. I've gone back to week one eating for today and maybe tomorrow. Lots of water. I feel so much better already. My stomach was killing me after all that yesterday. Anyway, I may decide on Wednesday when I go to the clinic that I AM going to start mainenance after all and hope I'll still lose a few more pounds. I'm going back and forth with it in my head and I think the lack of a firm decision is half of my problem.

THANK YOU, FRIEND!

[Nance7]

Originally Posted by irabeslim

Lea, I have those days too. We are not "cured" in our heads yet. I think it will take several years - I am sure that our brains have been rewired while we were abusing our bodies with all THAT JUNK. We can rewire it back but it will take a long time and lots of patience. I hope we will get there.

I think that it helps me to think that I will never really be "cured" of my sugar addiction, and that I will need to be diligent for the rest of my life. I won't allow myself to think that I could get to a place where I could have what I want and be able to control myself. Maybe that day will come, but I have had so many years of relapses, that I just don't believe it's in the cards for me.

Lea and everybody, I hope you've had a better day. My heart aches for Shelley and her son and their precious dog, such a treasured member of the family. and

[Fit2010]

Shelley ~ You've been on our hearts for a week....I bet you ARE tired, my friend. Be at rest, be at peace, you've done well by Kaiso and your family. Take care of yourself. I too send and

[mommy2princesses]

Shelley - our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, take comfort in the wonderful life you gave Kaiso.

Just want to thank all of you for the inspiration you give me- just got home from doing my 4 mile walk, and want you to know that 4 different times I was able to jog for a full 3 minutes! (When I started Medi, I was struggling to jog 1 minute at a time!). I did a few smaller increments too, chose to do a very HILLY walk tonight and the hills were hard enough pushing a stroller up!

That was my 2nd walk today - met up with a really good friend this afternoon who wants to start walking with her 2 kids. At first the plan was to go to the bike path I love and do my 4 mile walk there. She calls and asks if we can go to our local highschool track instead (which I agree to - even though I HATE walking the track!). We get there - she's wearing flip flops! We did 2 miles in an hour, it was such a stroll....she's definitely not a power walker! Love her to death, we've been friends since HS - but she's definitely not meant to be my exercising buddy! I just think of it as an extra hour where I was active (rather than sitting on my behind!).

[Fit2010]

Goodness Keri, I cannot imagine pushing a stroller AND jogging and doing that intermittently for 4 miles, and THEN adding another stroll later in the day. You are dedicated! I remember pushing my daughters in a double stroller (starting at ages 6 mos and 3yo) and roller skating, using the stroller for balance (lived in San Diego at the time)--great glut exercise! It was fun for all 3 of us. Moved to KS, and when oldest got to be 4 1/2 she refused to get in stroller any longer. When youngest got to be 5 she too refused to be pushed in stroller....and it was tough for me to make myself leave them to go exercise. (Well, that was my excuse anyway). I've got a pair of roller blades and think about getting out there....perhaps with those walking poles they sell at Walmart. Would you laugh if you saw me on the sidewalk? At this age?! Now I remember, roller blades kind of hurt my lower leg/ankle where the boot ends. So rigid.

[Desert-Rose7]

Kind thoughts and prayers for you and your family,Shelley. Do visit the Rainbow Bridge, I think it will help you.

Remember everyone, you did not get to your starting weights in one day or one week or one month. This program works but it does take time. If you follow the plan faithfully, without going off plan, and drinking the water and journaling every single thing that goes in your mouth, you will be successful. But you do have to commit 100%. And that will make all the difference.

I began this plan during the holidays in 2008, ended up being "displaced" from my job of 10 years with a company I loved and respected, was looking for a new position and working the program, plus dealing with the final illness and death of a family member. Stress is part of daily life. It is how you deal with it and with your attitude toward food that will make the difference. I made the plan primary in my life and it worked. Commitment is so essential. If you can look at yourself in the mirror at the end of the day and tell yourself truthfully that you have done your very best, then you will be successful. The old adage: "To thine own self be true" is so very important.

Jo

[mommy2princesses]

Debbie - I definitely would not laugh at anyone on rollerblades...because no one can look worse than me on any time of roller blade or ice skate or ski! Let's just say I am not the most coordinated individual!!! My 4 1/2 yr old refuses the stroller and is pretty much too big for one (don't think I really want to add her 50 lbs to push around anyways!). The 2 yr old LOVES going for walks in it - she actually napped today in it! (Just don't try to put her in it when doing errands!). My oldest is having a sleepover at my mom's tonight...so it was the perfect excuse to go out walking with the little one. That's why I usually opt for the bike path when I have both of them - so the oldest can ride along!

I feel as if jogging will get easier the more I lose - not only endurance wise - but (and this may sound silly) I feel as if I can feel my belly/hips/thighs jiggle! Not even sure if its all in my head, which it very well could be! Wish I knew a way to tone my calfs more though - I have always had very muscular calfs, and the more I lose and the more I walk/jog...the bigger they are getting. Granted, it is a defined muscle - but I don't like them!

I made the "foldover pizza thingy's" for lunch today - let's just say I need to tweak my microwave times! It was quite crispy! Hmmm...perhaps lunch again tomorrow! It was so nice having something different! Or hotdogs - bought those too!

[SonoRoo]

You guys are so sweet and amazing. I can't even begin to tell you how therapeutic this board has been for me. I appreciate all your caring and encouragement!

We did the best we could for him. The last few days he couldn't get up on his own, but when he was up he would walk around with no problem. He started struggling badly yesterday and this morning he wouldn't get up at all. We helped him up and he went outside and pee'd and then he just laid down in the grass and couldn't get up. He was having a hard time breathing and we could see in his eyes how difficult it was for him. So I called the vet and they worked us in. It was quick and peaceful. He took one deep breath and sighed and that was it. I am sad he is gone, but I am happy that he is not in any more pain.

When we got in the car to go to the vet Sea of Love was playing and that was horrible. I cried so hard, but it makes sense. I loved him and he knew it and that is what matters.

Come with me, my love
To the sea, the sea of love
I want to tell you oh how much I love you

Do you remember when we met?
That's the day I knew you were my pet
I want to tell you how much I love you

[txntv]

I searched the threads for Tanita scales. OK, the results were just too much -- but I did browse some. I know some of you own a scale. I'm looking into getting one and there are too many choices -- even with a comparison chart available on the Tanita site.

Questions:

1. Is it worth getting a personal scale that shows all the different details? Accuracy is the concern. I'd love to have the info we get on the print outs -- but I've heard Body Fat and maybe other numbers aren't very accurate especially on home scales. Tried reading up on reviews, but it's all over the place.

2. A specific model recommended?

Thanks for any feedback or point to a post if I missed it.

[suzanna1]

Shelley ~ I am sending you a giant virtual hug right now with tears in my eyes. You absolutely did the very best that you could for Kaiso. I know that he appreciates the wonderful life you gave him.

[Fit2010]

S..h..e..l..l..e..y! You made me cry with that song...that's an OLD song. Isn't it great that we can KNOW love, have sentimental moments, care about pets and family members and friends...isn't it great to be given these gifts? We are blessed. I know it's still going to be a sad time without him, but man, what a beautiful time it's been for all of you.

[Fit2010]

Keri - I have mitral valve prolapse and when overweight was just TOO winded to try to walk fast, let alone jog! It wasn't until a little over a month ago (after I'd lost 35 lbs) that I was able to try to jog 45 seconds, walk 60 seconds and do that pattern over and over again without terrible panting! Now my endurance is so much better and I'm up to 2 mins 45 seconds jog/ 60 seconds walking for 2 miles. Could go farther but I haven't tried that yet. You'll get there!

[Nance7]

Shelley, posting through tears here. Kaiso's last little while sounds so much like my precious beagle's. Your last act for him was a huge act of love. You were so lucky to love and be loved by him. Be kind to yourself now and rest.

[Ortal]

Originally Posted by txntv

I searched the threads for Tanita scales. OK, the results were just too much -- but I did browse some. I know some of you own a scale. I'm looking into getting one and there are too many choices -- even with a comparison chart available on the Tanita site.

Questions:

1. Is it worth getting a personal scale that shows all the different details? Accuracy is the concern. I'd love to have the info we get on the print outs -- but I've heard Body Fat and maybe other numbers aren't very accurate especially on home scales. Tried reading up on reviews, but it's all over the place.

2. A specific model recommended?

Thanks for any feedback or point to a post if I missed it.

I also am interested in feedback on this. I dont really care about thefat% reading, i just want a scale accurate like my medi scale so Im not seeing 45 different results. I know at my center they take off 2 lbs for clothes.


PS I changed my avatar

[Rochelle91214]

Shelley I am so sad for you! Sending good thoughts your way!


I have a question for everyone. I woke up today really not feeling well. I have an excruciating sore throat, sick to my stomach and have a 101 fever I have a dr. appointment at 11:15 thank goodness!

Does anyone have any suggestions on what to eat when you're "under the weather?" Usually the only things that I can keep down and make me feel better are saltine crackers and ginger ale. I have diet ginger ale but am trying so hard to not eat the crackers. Just thinking of eating chicken or eggs right now is making me even more nauseus so I don't really know what to do?

Any suggestions would be much appreciated right now!!

[Azurro]

Hi all-
Went in for my weigh in today.lost 1.6 this week..for a total of 30lbs since May6th...so far so good..
Rochelle--how about the oopsie rolls?? that might help...