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-   -   Feeling terrible about myself... (http://www.lowcarbfriends.com/bbs/medi-weightloss/671764-feeling-terrible-about-myself.html)

elanzer 04-22-2010 03:31 PM

Feeling terrible about myself...
 
I've been on the program about four weeks now and have lost ten pounds. My goal is to lose ten more. However, this is a very hard diet for me. I try to look at it as a way of life, not a diet, but I can't see myself living life not eating cookies and cake anymore! I feel deprived. And when tempation is present, I give in. Not all the time, but about once a week or so. Tonight was really bad. I had this craving for chocolate that I couldn't ignore, so my kids' cake that has been sitting on the counter called to me. Then it was the Oreos in the cabinet. So yes, I got my chocoloate fix, but now I feel horrible. How can I keep from binging and feeling deprived? Any words of advice would be greatly appreciated... :cry:

kristenb 04-22-2010 04:27 PM

Hey there! I feel you on the chocolate, that is a big weakness for me too! What I have been doing is finding things that fit in with the Medi diet but fix my cravings. For example, Russell Stover and other big brand names have TONS of sugar free candy that has 1-2 net carbs per piece, most times 1-2 net carbs per 3-4 pieces. If I get a chocolate craving I just eat one. And I mean JUST one. That way, I am not having this internal battle with myself of whether I should or shouldn't and I don't feel guilty afterward.

There are recipes out there for a low carb version of just about everything. I even made low carb lemon poppy seed cake and it was really good! Tasted like cake, just didn't have all the carbs.

Bottom line, I try to make it so that I can eat whatever I want, just a little differently than I used to. I've kind of made this diet work for me. There are people that follow it to a "T" and it works amazing for them. And that's great. But everyone is different and everyone has their limits. I know what mine are. Yes, I am losing weight more slowly, but I am also able to lose weight every week. I started January 6th and have lost every single week. I've never gained and I've never even stayed the same. Some weeks have not been very big losses, like 0.5 pound, but it's still a loss. I am ok with losing a little slower because I feel I am keeping my sanity.

Sorry this turned into a novel! Find ways to satisfy your cravings without going off diet and keep them around the house. Also, ask yourself if you are actually hungry, or just bored. That was a big one for me! Best of luck, you're doing great and are halfway there!

elanzer 04-22-2010 04:57 PM

Oh I know all about those sugar free candies! I try not to eat an entire serving. Any more than two pieces really messes with my insides. I was trying to let myself have a break every now and then, but only on special occasions. ie. birthdays, a night out with friends, etc. But those "breaks" started becoming more frequent. I just seem to lose control sometimes, and yes, I eat when I'm bored or just because it's there. Even the phentermine didn't help me with that, which I was really disappointed about.

Anyway, thanks for the words of wisom, and continued good luck to you!

:hugs:

eptexy 04-22-2010 06:39 PM

Me too!!! I love chocolate!!! I LOVE the low carb russell stover candies that are a little less in calories than the sugar free (although not quite the variety!) I have one a day in the evening and it is such a treat! Definitely worth the 50 calories for their chocolate turtle thing! lol

I also LOVE love love the Atkins Endulge caramel nut chew bars. 130 calories and 1g net carbs. Some people here don't count net carbs - just carbs - but I have eaten these from the beginning and have always stayed in ketosis. My clinic says DO count net carbs so I do.

Don't worry about what you've done. Just look forward. You're paying A LOT of money to do this program. Don't waste it all!

GirlInJersey 04-23-2010 05:21 AM

Just wanted to add something to this becaue it's something I struggle with often. I'm in my 7th week and there are SO many times I wanted to give up and just eat whatever I wanted. For me, (and I'm not trying to speak for anyone else) I can't even have a little bit of sweets or I know it will derail all of my progress so far. I don't keep it in the house. And if I'm at someone else's house and they are having dessert or snacks I can't have, I politely leave the room until they are done. This has been working well for me. And now that I'm in week 7, my cravings are so infrequent that when they do happen, I just try to do something else to distract myself and before I know it, it's gone. Also something that helps for me, after dinner I get as far away from the kitchen as possible! I go walk, or I go in another room and read or watch tv. Anything to stay away from the dreaded food. I have had really good losses so far and I think that also keeps me motivated. I don't know if this will help any, but it's worked for me so maybe it will for you too.

Just don't get discouraged!! Any loss is a good loss! And if it's coming off slower and you still want your chocolate fixes, then be ok with that. Don't beat yourself up!

lins 04-23-2010 07:30 AM

Hang in there! I'm only 2 weeks in, and I know that I will have harder days but I think everyone has given you some great suggestions. Try to find low carb chocolate options. Look through the recipes on this board for example. Or get the chocolate whey protein shake and drink one of those. I find that when I am having a craving if I just eat something else quickly (even if it doesn't sound good at the moment), and then leave the house, the craving passes. I am a stay at home mom, so sometimes that is challanging. If it happens during nap time, I go outside and throw a ball for my dog. Sometimes I just put everyone in the car and go for a drive. Or take a bath, or shower, and shave your legs, paint your toe nails ect... I've just learned that the craving typically doesn't last all that long. Just take a deep breath, give yourself a pep talk and distarct yourself.

But if you do happen to cave, don't beat yourself up. If you are out of ketosis the next day then just follow week 1 again, until you are back in and go from there.

fatbgone72 04-23-2010 08:06 AM

I love chocolate too. I baked brownies last night for my family. I didn't indulge though. But when you figure out a way to lose 10 or so pounds a :month AND you can still indulge in real chocolate once a week please let me know.:) Hang in there you will figure this thing out. We are all in this together:hugs:

cjbee 04-23-2010 09:52 AM

when I want to binge it typically is pms or a bad mood I am trying to fix with chocolate or some other carb rich food. Carbs do elevate your moods ...at first and then crash ...Not to mention the "what have I done" after effect. I am trying to find things I can turn to that make me happy that are not food. I also try not to expect others to make me feel good i.e. my husband. Lets face it men can really suck at that--sorry guys sometimes we speak different languages. I told my husband today that ignoring me when I am in a bad mood is not what girls want---That is however what men want. see the challenges we have ...sigh... I came to this site to try to make me feel better instead of hoping he does because it is not fair to him and I definately wont get what I want from food. I guess it is important to 1) check our emotions before giving into the cravings, 2)find alternative chocolate cravings and plan for limitation, 3)take a small piece then go for a walk, come to this site or call a close friend and see if you still want more when you are done.

UGGGG-giving in to my emotional cravings is how I got here and I don't want to undo all my hard work! I actually feel better then I have in 3 years!! I guess my body is happy to not have to carry around those extra 20lbs (45 more to go) and my blood sugar is stable. I want to keep feeling good on a day to day basis so I can't give in to my momentary cravings. I have been assured by my counselor that I will be able to have the things I love again on maintanance in moderation ---so I can wait.

Take it 1 day at a time (like an addict :laugh:) and forgive yourself for yesterday because it is already over and just do it right today.

SDC2 04-23-2010 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elanzer (Post 13401510)
I've been on the program about four weeks now and have lost ten pounds. My goal is to lose ten more. However, this is a very hard diet for me. I try to look at it as a way of life, not a diet, but I can't see myself living life not eating cookies and cake anymore! I feel deprived. And when tempation is present, I give in. Not all the time, but about once a week or so. Tonight was really bad. I had this craving for chocolate that I couldn't ignore, so my kids' cake that has been sitting on the counter called to me. Then it was the Oreos in the cabinet. So yes, I got my chocoloate fix, but now I feel horrible. How can I keep from binging and feeling deprived? Any words of advice would be greatly appreciated... :cry:

Have you tried the cocoa dusted almonds?

Jaqleen 04-23-2010 03:48 PM

I'm on week 2 now and have had moments when I didn't think I was going to be able to stick with this.Like you I have a family and they want to eat the way they're use to,which is me baking all the time,goodies in the house,pizza,etc...This is a "life change",not a "diet".Looking at it that way is what gets me through a craving.The recipe threads are AWESOME!I made a few things off it and they help so much.There is so much you can have that is good for you and will keep you on track.I can't believe some of it is low calorie because it's so good!Don't give up on yourself!If I can do this,you can do this,trust me.:up::up:

Desert-Rose7 04-23-2010 03:50 PM

Okay, I finally have to say something here. CRAVE = WANT. This is not a NEED it is a WANT. Decide what is important to you and go from there. We cannot always have we WANT. But it is easy to find what we NEED. HUNGRY does not mean you are starving. Ask people who really are starving what it is truly like.

And how did you get to that heavy weight in the first place? Examine those issues first. Macauley has a great saying she uses as her signature: "Don't stuff your face, face your stuff". Very very true. Food is a true addiction. And emotional eating is a symptom of that addiction.

The main tenet of this program is commitment. Commit to be healthy, to better your life, and better yourself. Commitment is key. If you cannot commit fully, then you will not be successful. Very simple. Ask any of us who are in maintenance and any of us who are successful in this program, and you will find that commitment is the key to success.

And really, who are you cheating except yourself. Is it really worth it?

All of us have come up against this at some point, and persevered through it. You can either decide to help yourself, or not. To be healthy or not. This is YOUR life, your health, your money, and most importantly, your choice. It is great to find support with family and friends, but if that is missing, then dig down deep and find the resolve within yourself.

Jo

McBoo 04-23-2010 07:05 PM

Well said Jo.

McBoo

txntv 04-24-2010 06:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eptexy (Post 13402085)
I also LOVE love love the Atkins Endulge caramel nut chew bars. 130 calories and 1g net carbs. Some people here don't count net carbs - just carbs - but I have eaten these from the beginning and have always stayed in ketosis. My clinic says DO count net carbs so I do.

Me, too! They remind me of Payday. I talked to my center about carbs vs net carbs and they say do subtract the fiber and sugar alcohols (but read up on the sugar alcohols -- very interesting). I've stayed in ketosis daily.

NOT2fat4fun 04-24-2010 07:32 AM

Although I support what people have said to you - I think this WOE isn't for everyone. Perhaps you don't have an issue with carbs - which I think this WOE works best for. I would suggest that you really look at what you think your diet issues are... this program demands commitment and I don't think it should be a continued struggle (some days - yes - but then you have to think like Jo). Good luck with it.

Sshals 04-24-2010 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desert-Rose7 (Post 13405377)
All of us have come up against this at some point, and persevered through it. You can either decide to help yourself, or not. To be healthy or not. This is YOUR life, your health, your money, and most importantly, your choice. It is great to find support with family and friends, but if that is missing, then dig down deep and find the resolve within yourself.

Jo

I agree with everything in Jo's post, and I want to highlight her point about deciding. When we give into a craving or temptation, it's not really a decision - it's an impulse. Usually followed by horrible guilt, which makes us feel like we've failed, perpetuating the bad relationship we have with food. To take control, you need to set yourself up to make decisions. There is power in choosing.

Everyone has different food demons to face. I've come to realize that I have this fear of not being able to eat when I am hungry and am comforted by knowing I can eat as much as I want. Obviously, this does not go well with this plan. However, I have chosen to commit myself. So I'm left with how to resolve my food issues. Resolution is slow in coming (and it really is coming!), so I have a plan B in the meantime: iceburg lettuce. I cut it up into potato chip size pieces and sprinkle it with salt and vinegar. It has the flavor and crispness of my favorite kind of chip, but a quarter of a head is only 11 calories and 2.4g of carbs. I allow myself to have as much iceburg lettuce as I want - which usually isn't that much. But just knowing that, if I get hungry or snacky, I can have that lettuce, makes it much easier for me to stick to the rest of the plan. Technically, this is cheating as we are limited to 2 cups of veggies a day. However, I have made a choice to allow myself this single cheat and only this cheat. I've told my counselors that I eat too much lettuce some days. They try to laugh sternly. No one gets fat eating lettuce.

As for the chocolate addiction, you need to make a plan. Stock your kitchen with items you can have. Get rid of items you can't. Never keep things that you KNOW will make you lose control. Honestly, your kids don't need Oreos or cake any more than you do.

No one has willpower 100% of the time. This is not a sign of weakness. Recognize that you will have weak moments, and then set yourself up so you can handle them successfully.

cjbee 04-30-2010 06:43 AM

perfectionism is a trait among addicts and codependants and can lead them to failure in their endeavors. If we except that we do not have control over all our issues and we are not perfect, we can more easily forgive our own mistakes.

Women tend to be care givers taking care of everyone but themselves. Healthy eating habits are a must for taking care of ourselves and lets face it without us being well we can't take care of those who need us like our children. Focus on you and let others take care of themselves who can (expecially the adults in our lives). I could run around all day trying to "help" others intead of focusing on myself. It is very convenient to have the distractions so I don't have to deal with my self. It leads to me stuffing myself with unhealthy options and justifying it with I don't have time to plan etc.

The truth is we have to take care of ouselves first because no one is coming around to fix this for us. We will not be perfect, but we are perfect in our imperfections. I know ..what the heck does that mean. Basically without struggle there is no growth-we need our mistakes and trials to learn and grow. Focus on youself today and try not to think about not eating a cookie forever, just for today. If an addict is told you can never have another drink they panic and head for the nearest bar. If the addict decides i won't drink today, each day it is easier to face. don't try to take on the rest of your life now. just do it for today.

CJ

elanzer 05-01-2010 05:27 AM

Thanks for all your help, everyone! I'm so glad I found this site!

julesrnc 05-02-2010 08:30 AM

Just focus on today
 
This is the best advice ever. I tend to look at the end goal and get discouraged. Just focussing on today is a very achievable goal and really helps me get to where I ultimately need to be.

Ortal 05-10-2010 07:05 AM

hey... wanted to chime in... I see your profile says you are from CT. where abouts in CT are ya? I go to the clinic in Orange.

Good luck though... when I crave sweets I eat Jello or suck on a sugar free butterscotch candy. I know its not the same but if I didnt have a problem with sweets I wouldnt be 45# overweight. I just remind myself that.


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