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MollyGoRound 09-04-2013 09:27 PM

Maintaining a WHOLE new ballgame with new problems??
Hi all!

I am fairly new, so forgive me if this has been discussed umpteen times before.

I went from 198 pounds to my current 147 that I have been maintaining for about 3 years.

I'm finding it super ironic that there is a social obesity stigma, but no one really talks about the healthier stigma. I am now in a different 'class' socially with a whole new set of problems. I feel like somehow I've lost common ground I'm used to having with old friends and with potential would be friends-- there's an extra level of distance that wasn't there before. People seem to really easily get jealous of me, which is super annoying because I really could care less about competitiveness; I never give anyone a reason, but nonetheless, I have useless gossip and cliques to contend with at an alarming rate. Even the kind of gossip that wrecks marriages and is hard to fight once it's 'out there'.

Plus, I am an introvert and, like I said, *married* (I wear both my rings every day), so I don't understand why just recently I've been approached and even propositioned in public more frequently than I even thought was normal for anyone. Wearing more conservative clothes than I used to.

Then I have people in my life who love to make a big deal about what I eat all the time-- even though I don't. Sometimes I even start dreading lunchtime or family get togethers because I know someone is going to be freaking out that I'm eating tuna AGAIN, or someone is going to loudly proclaim (again) "Molly, you just eat so healthy all the time!" ...and stare at me. Expecting... what response, exactly? "Oh, really?!? Whoops! I guess I just keep forgetting to bring my pan of brownies and lasagna, would that make you feel more comfortable??"

Ok, so I know average person reading this would be all "Blah blah blah, I wish I had skinnier problems." But I'm hoping that someone here knows what I'm talking about--- has anyone else experienced the downsides of the healthy stigma? Does it ever get better?

shipshemom 09-05-2013 03:04 PM

Yes, I know exactly how you feel. It has become expected that every time there's any kind of gathering, there HAS to be food. It really turns me off, especially when I'm expected to bring a snack too. It's almost always unhealthy junk food. When we eat healthy, those around us think we are putting them down because they continue to eat junk food. If everyone else is indulging, then it seems to make it OK. But as soon as someone refuses to eat it, they get defensive because they know they shouldn't eat it either. Those same people who criticize our WOE are constantly complaining how they can't seem to lose weight though. People like to think it's easy for us to maintain our smaller figures, but they don't realize that we struggle every day & work hard at it. I just continue to eat the way I do because it works for me. I don't try to justify it to anyone. I never expect anyone to change the menu for me. I either eat before I go, bring my own, or eat when I get home. It's a constant struggle when there is so much high carb food around though.

KeirasMom 09-09-2013 12:20 PM

I must be really lucky or completely blind to it. I never get rude comments or anything but respect from my friends and coworkers. :dunno:

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