Troubling times

[momov2boys]

Hi Ladies,

I just had an all-out binge which began with 1C sunflower seeds and ended in lots of sugar.

That darn "I blew it" mentality...
I had already blown my calories for the day, so why not go all out and eat anything?

It seems this has become a pattern for me.
I eat really well for most of the week and then I overeat or binge.

I don't know whether it's related to my stress, my weight, my woe...
I just don't know.

I do know that I'm tired.
I feel sad, disappointed in myself, and quite angry.

When will I learn?
I'm truly not as stupid as my eating indicates.

I realize that sugar screws me, and then I choose to eat poorly, anyway.

I need a break.
Somehow I must try to focus less on my woe.

I'll probably not post much during the next week.

*I'm going to make every effort to not weigh-in until next Friday.
(This will be extremely hard for me because I weigh twice daily).

I'm going to get back to the basics and keep my carbs low.

I hope to come back refreshed and feeling in control.
Today was disgusting. I'll make all subsequent days better.

Be well, my friends!!!

[LaurieRobo]

Rebecca - take care of YOU!

[Loretta V]

Rebecca

We all fall off the wagon once in a while. No need to beat yourself up. We are just humans and give in to temptation. Just forget today and put it behind you.

You certainly seem to have talked youself back into negativity. How about all of the positives. You have done a wonderful job with your weight loss and maintaining. You are healthy and have chosen a healthy woe. Sometimes we need a break.

I have a scheduled break every Sunday and eat some foods that I really enjoy. It helps me maintain control and also be satisfied.

yourself.

[momov2boys]

Originally Posted by LaurieRobo

Rebecca - take care of YOU!

Originally Posted by Loretta V

Rebecca

You have done a wonderful job with your weight loss and maintaining. You are healthy and have chosen a healthy woe.
Sometimes we need a break.

yourself.

Thank you Laurie and Loretta for listening and for your kind support.

I feel much better today.

I think that the most important for me for me to do is let go of the "all or nothing" mentality.

What must stop is this "last suppering" that's occurring each time I eat something "off-plan," as if "it's the last time I'll ever eat it..."

I'm thrilled that almost all of my eating consists only of healthy, LC foods.

But, if I choose to eat something I don't normally eat, that's okay too.

Not bingeing and getting right back to my healthy, LC foods is what matters.

There's no need for me to be so hard on myself.

I am just fine.

[girl81]

Something that helps me sometimes.... imagining I am looking at someone else's life with my struggles; what would I advise them to do?

[JuliaL]

Rebecca - I hear a lot of healing going on in your posts. I hope you don't stop coming here (unless you truly think it might be triggering bad eating) because you seem to really be getting a handle on your eating issues. Personally I think you're doing great!

[hhhmom74]

Rebecca

Hang in there girl!!!

[steady]

Originally Posted by momov2boys

Thank you Laurie and Loretta for listening and for your kind support.

I feel much better today.

I think that the most important for me for me to do is let go of the "all or nothing" mentality.

What must stop is this "last suppering" that's occurring each time I eat something "off-plan," as if "it's the last time I'll ever eat it..."

I'm thrilled that almost all of my eating consists only of healthy, LC foods.

But, if I choose to eat something I don't normally eat, that's okay too.

Not bingeing and getting right back to my healthy, LC foods is what matters.

There's no need for me to be so hard on myself.

I am just fine.

You got the right frame of mind now! We all have been there, take each day at time. Rebecca, IMHO-I think you need to take a break from the scale, because to me it seem like the number on the scale bugs you more then you let us know. It seems like you are in conflict between sensibly knowing you should be in maintenance, but still wanting to see your weight go down to that magical number 98. As a result, the conflict manifest itself in a binge due to fatigue from the extreme effort/restriction required to be eating LC for weightloss versus just focusing on eating LC for maintenance. Again, this is just me giving you a viewpoint from the outside. Please don't take offense if I am completely off.

Please take care and realize that burnout is a natural feeling...you are not alone. Bingeing is a symptom of a diet that is too restrictive. LCing is about healthful eating long-term...any WOE that results in a binge is not healthful eating and needs some personal tweaking whether it be tweaking you mindset or your diet in order for the WOE to work for a lifetime. For all this effort/hard work to pay off, maintenance must be about finding and sustaining a feasible WOE. Do you feel like your WOE is feasible? If not, you need to find what is feasible even if that means that your diet not fit a definition of LC. Bingeing is a sign that a diet that is too restrictive to be considered maintenance. The cycle will end when you find a "diet" you can follow everyday of your life that doesn't feel like a diet or take the effort/time of a diet.

[momov2boys]

Thank you girl81, Julia, Rachel and steady!

Originally Posted by steady

Rebecca, IMHO-I think you need to take a break from the scale, because to me it seem like the number on the scale bugs you more then you let us know. It seems like you are in conflict between sensibly knowing you should be in maintenance, but still wanting to see your weight go down to that magical number 98. As a result, the conflict manifest itself in a binge due to fatigue from the extreme effort/restriction required to be eating LC for weightloss versus just focusing on eating LC for maintenance.

Bingeing is a symptom of a diet that is too restrictive.

LCing is about healthful eating long-term...any WOE that results in a binge is not healthful eating and needs some personal tweaking whether it be tweaking you mindset or your diet in order for the WOE to work for a lifetime.

For all this effort/hard work to pay off, maintenance must be about finding and sustaining a feasible WOE.

Wow, steady...you're spot-on here, in so many ways...

I do need a break from the scale because (unfortunately) the number has become way too important to me.

It is freeing, in ways, to not step on the evil metal box.
Yet, at the same time, it's really hard for me not to do so.

A HUGE struggle for me is a healthy mindest b/w losing and maintenance.
I feel that I should be happy maintaining.
But, I still have the constant worry/concern/fear about calories and carbs.

I know what foods to eat and which foods to avoid.
The knowledge is there, I'll continue to apply it to my WOE.

My concentration on eating only when hungry, stopping when satisfied, and not weighing myself are all important steps in the right direction for me toward a better relationship with food.

I truly appreciate all of you seeing me through this.
What terrific friends I have made here.

[girl81]

[BellaHMB]

Rebecca,

I just read your post from Friday..... I had thought something was going on!
How are you doing today? (its Sunday).

I really do feel that counseling would be very helpful for you. And if not that, then what about Food Addicts Anonymous? You could participate and have a sponsor.

Im very concerned about you and want you to find health and happiness! But it does seem that you are in a binge cycle- you try to abstain, then binge, then regret/remorse/negative and then it all repeats. This is a common cycle for an addiction, whether it is food, sex, alcohol, you name it. So please consider getting some support
off these boards too.

With love
Bella

[Kissa]

Just read this Rebecca, you will be fine lady. You are still learning and this is the right lace to do it.

Counselling may be a good idea if you are really worried, but I think you are finding your own path.

We are all with you here.

[momov2boys]

Originally Posted by BellaHMB

How are you doing today? (its Sunday).

I really do feel that counseling would be very helpful for you.

Im very concerned about you and want you to find health and happiness!

But it does seem that you are in a binge cycle- you try to abstain, then binge, then regret/remorse/negative and then it all repeats.
This is a common cycle for an addiction...

It's Sunday evening, and I'm doing great.
Thanks for asking, Bella.

I do realize a lot about my food addiction.
And, right now, abstaining is not the answer.
Abstinence of PB is restriction and it has only fueled my binges.
I will work hard to incorporate it, in moderation.
That will be the process through which I will find balance and continue to heal.

I feel confident about finding wellness from within and through the support of my wonderful friends.

Thanks to all of you!

Originally Posted by Kissa

Just read this Rebecca, you will be fine lady.
You are still learning and this is the right lace to do it.

Counselling may be a good idea if you are really worried, but I think you are finding your own path.

We are all with you here.

Cindy, this posts means so very much to me.
Thank you!!!

I am finding my own path, and all will be well.

[evern83]

Rebecca,
I would like to offer an opinion and I hope you don't get offended.

You sound as though you spend every waking moment trying not to spin out of control in any aspect of your life ;whether it be eating, calories, carbs or peanut butter. Should I weigh myself should I not? I was floored when I read you were 102lbs trying to get to 98. WOW! Its not really about the numbers, but I am a nurse and those numbers combined with the easily activated binges set off an alarm in my head.
I may be totally wrong about this. I just wanted to offer some support and let you know that I hope you are able to find some peace in all of your accomplishments. (esp. those cute little boys)
You are beautiful and deserve happiness in all you do. Troubling times always end.
I hope you are getting help with your food issues and anxiety. We all need a helping hand sometimes.
Good Luck!!! Stay strong

[momov2boys]

Originally Posted by evern83

You sound as though you spend every waking moment trying not to spin out of control in any aspect of your life ;whether it be eating, calories, carbs or peanut butter. Should I weigh myself should I not?

I was floored when I read you were 102lbs trying to get to 98. WOW! Its not really about the numbers, but I am a nurse and those numbers combined with the easily activated binges set off an alarm in my head.

I just wanted to offer some support and let you know that I hope you are able to find some peace in all of your accomplishments.

You are beautiful and deserve happiness in all you do.
Troubling times always end.

Good Luck!!! Stay strong

evern83!

I am not at all offended by your posts.
I have put myself out there and I welcome all responses.
Thank you for your concern.

My goal is not to weigh 98 pounds.
My goal is to maintain at or around 102.
That is a healthy, maintainable weight for me.

I too am a nurse by training (have my BSN, anyway), and DH is a physician.
Both he and I low-carb.

I do not feel as out of control as you have perceived.

I do need to stop focusing so much of my time and life on my woe, though.

I think I'm getting there!

Thank you for your thoughts and well wishes!

[girl81]

Originally Posted by momov2boys

I do need to stop focusing so much of my time and life on my woe, though.

I think I'm getting there!

Thank you for your thoughts and well wishes!

You are not alone Rebecca. And, yes, you are getting there!

[telemetrynurse]

Rebecca

I can relate to SO much of what you've written. I struggle with many of the same issues you mentioned. I really do appreciate your willingness to share your struggles and your insights.

I was really glad to read your subsequent posts

It's Sunday evening, and I'm doing great

I feel confident about finding wellness from within and through the support of my wonderful friends.

I feel much better today.

I think that the most important for me for me to do is let go of the "all or nothing" mentality.

What must stop is this "last suppering" that's occurring each time I eat something "off-plan," as if "it's the last time I'll ever eat it..."

I'm thrilled that almost all of my eating consists only of healthy, LC foods.

But, if I choose to eat something I don't normally eat, that's okay too.

Not bingeing and getting right back to my healthy, LC foods is what matters.

There's no need for me to be so hard on myself

I'm really glad to see you are continuing to post....I've always enjoyed your posts. Wishing you many better days!

[momov2boys]

Thanks so much girl81 and telemetrynurse for your posts and support!
I'm quite lucky to have you gals in my days!