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Old 06-09-2014, 08:47 AM   #1
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Is anyone experiencing negative people since you've lost weight?

And how do you handle them?

I have a couple of co-worker type people who were complimentary when I first started losing. However, the past couple of weeks I have gotten the following comments:

You look like a bug in those sunglasses
OMG what year is that skirt from?
Why are you smiling like a psycho in your staff picture!!???

Can't ya just be happy for me?

Anyone else have "friends" like this?
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Old 06-09-2014, 08:51 AM   #2
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sounds like jealousy rearing it's ugly head....
just smile cuz it is quite funny

keep up the good work!
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Old 06-09-2014, 09:03 AM   #3
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yeah they are so jealous. When she comments on the skirt just say "Yes I know but I never thought I would get into this again and I feel so great words can not describe it !"
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Old 06-09-2014, 09:25 AM   #4
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Thats exactly why I wore the skirt lol, and actually, most of these are from a man! lol

I did call him on it a bit, I told him his comments lately could use some work, so then of course he says "Oh you know im just kidding!"

but sometimes even though I know where it might come from it can still hurt a little.

I thought I looked good in these sunglasses
lol
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Old 06-09-2014, 09:41 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by where's_kyla? View Post
Thats exactly why I wore the skirt lol, and actually, most of these are from a man! lol
This really surprises me...I just assumed it was a woman!
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Old 06-09-2014, 09:47 AM   #6
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I don't take 'that kind of kidding' from anyone EXCEPT my bestest friend....got 2 of those and they can say ANYTHING to me and I roll with it easily and give it right back.

See---i am the type that doesn't go for this one bit!!! your co-workers? are they true friends? cause if they are just co workers then by gosh I would put them in their place as fast as they could blink. I don't go for that. being 'kidding' mean for no darn reason other than jealousy and boredom etc.

tell them to get back to work! Believe me you do not have to take it.
Pull each aside and tell them they are going to far and you don't appreciate their commenting to you like that one bit. Then look at them UP AND DOWN real serious, and say, cause if ya give it to me, I sure as shooting am going to make some comments about your clothes, your body and character They probably are toting around alot of ammo you can hit with. bet they stop
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Old 06-09-2014, 09:51 AM   #7
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I don't take 'that kind of kidding' from anyone EXCEPT my bestest friend....got 2 of those and they can say ANYTHING to me and I roll with it easily and give it right back.

See---i am the type that doesn't go for this one bit!!! your co-workers? are they true friends? cause if they are just co workers then by gosh I would put them in their place as fast as they could blink. I don't go for that. being 'kidding' mean for no darn reason other than jealousy and boredom etc.

tell them to get back to work! Believe me you do not have to take it.
Pull each aside and tell them they are going to far and you don't appreciate their commenting to you like that one bit. Then look at them UP AND DOWN real serious, and say, cause if ya give it to me, I sure as shooting am going to make some comments about your clothes, your body and character They probably are toting around alot of ammo you can hit with. bet they stop
hooo boy! heheh thank you!
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Old 06-09-2014, 10:01 AM   #8
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go for it girl!!! this junk shouldn stop after we get out of school...heck shouldn't happen even then....but we are WAY into adults now. this is BS to that max
time to grow up tell them LOL
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Old 06-09-2014, 10:02 AM   #9
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You probably DO look good in those sunglasses. I'd be pretty quick to respond to that too. Maybe next time, just tell him/they, "your jealously is showing, you might wanna tuck that back in". You are doing awesome, don't let those snarky remarks bring you down.
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Old 06-09-2014, 10:08 AM   #10
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Old 06-09-2014, 10:08 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by where's_kyla? View Post
And how do you handle them?

I have a couple of co-worker type people who were complimentary when I first started losing. However, the past couple of weeks I have gotten the following comments:

You look like a bug in those sunglasses
OMG what year is that skirt from?
Why are you smiling like a psycho in your staff picture!!???

Can't ya just be happy for me?

Anyone else have "friends" like this?
What would drive them crazy is if you did not appear defeated or insulted by these comments. You look like a bug in those sunglasses -- "Oh yes, I love these sunglases!" OMG what year is that skirt from? -- "I'm so happy I've lost enough weight to fit into my old favorite clothes!" Why are you smiling like a psycho in your staff picture!!??? -- "Things are going so well for me right now!" You don't owe them any answers to their insulting questions, but sometimes I find that appearing happy and contented is the best reply.
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Old 06-09-2014, 01:25 PM   #12
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You look like a Bug in those sunglasses
--thanks, I'll take that as a compliment

OMG what year is that skirt from?
--thanks, I'll take that as a compliment

Why are you smiling like a psycho in your staff picture!!???
Practicing for Bates Motel - I want to be an extra

So, when you leave it as: I'll take that as a compliment - what else can they say - that it is NOT a compliment.

What better way to piss off annoying people than not to be annoyed.

For Bates Motel - being Psycho is a good thing!
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Old 06-09-2014, 01:31 PM   #13
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why would anyone take a 'slight' with a smile and make it a compliment.

get some cahoonies and tell it like it is

never say what they said is OK. cause it is NOT. tell them that.
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Old 06-09-2014, 02:57 PM   #14
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Sometimes the best thing to do is just smile & say nothing. Otherwise, try to take what they said & turn it into a compliment. That way they will get the point without your getting noticeably upset. Don't let people push your buttons.

Buggy Sunglasses - I know, isn't it a fun look?

Dated clothes - Yes! It is vintage & that is oh, so trendy right now! Thanks for noticing!

Psycho Photo - I know...I was thinking about you...


I haven't gotten negative comments this time around. That may be because I eliminated a few toxic people from my life a while back. When I lost a lot of weight years ago I did get negative comments from someone I considered a very close friend. That person is no longer in my life (not because of said comments).

Or I have forgotten the comments. I refuse to let others ruin my day & work at letting negativity roll off my back and onto the floor where I squash it.
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Old 06-09-2014, 03:35 PM   #15
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comments followed by "just kidding" are insults in disguise. This person is just being rude IMO
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Old 06-09-2014, 04:36 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by where's_kyla? View Post

I did call him on it a bit, I told him his comments lately could use some work, so then of course he says "Oh you know im just kidding!"
I'm glad you said something - has that helped? Isn't it "funny" that we can receive a gazillion compliments and that's great, but it's comments like what he made that will stick with us the most. I haven't had any bad remarks, but I've been ostracized a bit. People that used to be a bit more friendly seem to be pointedly ignoring me. Used to think it was my imagination, but DH has noticed it too.

Anyway, hugs to you. Sounds like you've got it handled! Hopefully there won't be a next time.
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Old 06-09-2014, 04:56 PM   #17
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I'm getting to the stage where people are starting to notice. I'm very tall and gain and lose weight all over. My weightloss is kind of like someone takes an apple peeler to me and so it can take a while to be really obvious, particularly under clothes.

Recently, I went and met up with a few friends who I hadn't seen in a few months. They were surprised but went through the 'you look great' social obligation but later during lunch I noticed a certain... chill from two of them.

Both are slightly chubby (middle age is upon us) but nowhere near to my excessive weight. They are both attractive, outgoing and successful. There is no earthly reason for them to be threatened but both of them just *had* to mention I really needed some more fashionable clothes and how they never managed to lose weight or keep it off. All of this was said subtly but the tone alone spoke volumes.

Very catty.

The other two ladies were as shocked as I. With nothing being said directly it made for an awkward situation. After lunch, one friend approached me and said she would have slapped the other two. I thanked her and said that my revenge would be proving them wrong.

Still... their comments hurt and are still echoing today. I know that these comments come from their own insecurity but darn, these are supposed to be friends, even if we haven't been as close in the last few years.
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Old 06-09-2014, 04:59 PM   #18
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Just out of curiosity, do these people have more fat on their bodies than you?

But yes often it's jealousy. I haven't gotten comments like that but I have plenty of "worried" people, who are against "extremism". None of them of course showed any concern when I was living mostly on bread and noodles and was gaining weight.
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Old 06-09-2014, 05:02 PM   #19
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I really don't think it is jealousy most of the time. Most people are too self-absorbed to bother.
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Old 06-09-2014, 05:36 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by where's_kyla? View Post
And how do you handle them?

I have a couple of co-worker type people who were complimentary when I first started losing. However, the past couple of weeks I have gotten the following comments:

You look like a bug in those sunglasses
OMG what year is that skirt from?
Why are you smiling like a psycho in your staff picture!!???

Can't ya just be happy for me?

Anyone else have "friends" like this?
Good grief...what ..uhhh..witches..geeshh..Id look at them dumbfounded..."did you really mean to be so incredibly rude and inappropriate?" shuts um down in seconds....I have a few other lines..

I do suspect jealousy...some women!!!
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Old 06-09-2014, 05:38 PM   #21
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comments followed by "just kidding" are insults in disguise. This person is just being rude IMO
I agree
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Old 06-09-2014, 05:39 PM   #22
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I'm not sure jealousy is quite it but I think it's close. Your co-workers see you taking charge of your life. You set a goal and you are working it. Not just giving it lip service. I think it boils down to the ole misery loves company. You're reminding them that they aren't taking care of their own "whatever".

Don't let them bring you down.
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Old 06-09-2014, 05:59 PM   #23
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umm... Was thinking about this post while I was doing some chores and got to wondering... Are you single and is this other guy single? I ask only because I know some (immature) guys who only know how to show affection by teasing. Maybe he's trying to get your attention. ?
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Old 06-09-2014, 06:03 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by Mr_Geiri View Post
Just out of curiosity, do these people have more fat on their bodies than you?

But yes often it's jealousy. I haven't gotten comments like that but I have plenty of "worried" people, who are against "extremism". None of them of course showed any concern when I was living mostly on bread and noodles and was gaining weight.
Yep. I've had a lot of comments like this, "You're not going to lose any more weight are you??!" Before, no one ever asked if I was going to gain any more weight tho. I haven't come up with a satisfactory reply that doesn't get into me justifying myself.
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Old 06-09-2014, 07:32 PM   #25
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No, Kyla, I'm lucky. Well, I had one person make the "don't lose TOO much" comment and sometimes those type of comments can do a number on your psyche and it was meant well. It's hard to let this stuff roll off our backs, but I try to just focus on my own mindset.
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Old 06-10-2014, 05:20 AM   #26
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A freind told me "you look like an aids victim"

Another person where I work said "Are you losing weight? you look like a reed blowing in the wind"

Personally, I've always been thin with high metabolisim, and switched to a LCHF diet to lower triglycerides, raise hdl as well as lower small particles and fasting glucose. I never wanted to lose weight but alas I have. I'm 51 years old and wearing the same size clothes I did senior year of high school.
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Old 06-10-2014, 05:30 AM   #27
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Amazing!
Generally I'd say take the high road and not respond.
I know how some of this depends of the person and the situation. If it is a comment out of character, I'd try to give the person a pass. Most of us on occasion say things we wish we had not.

At some point in my little journey, I welcomed a few comments about having lost weight. But these have all been supportive/positive comments.

It's a bit of a mine field commenting about the weight of others. Many of the comments cited here seem out of bounds, to me, as if the commenters just "couldn't help themselves," and ending up revealing much about themselves.

Last edited by Patience; 06-10-2014 at 05:32 AM..
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Old 06-10-2014, 06:08 AM   #28
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I've heard of this response and have always wanted to use it, but haven't found just the right situation.

Look at the person, surprised and very concerned. As if they're ill and you are asking if they're okay.

"Wow... did you really just say that out loud?"
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Old 06-10-2014, 06:29 AM   #29
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I've heard of this response and have always wanted to use it, but haven't found just the right situation.

Look at the person, surprised and very concerned. As if they're ill and you are asking if they're okay.

"Wow... did you really just say that out loud?"
ROFLMBO..ok I love this one!!!!
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Old 06-10-2014, 06:31 AM   #30
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Originally Posted by werkn'it View Post
umm... Was thinking about this post while I was doing some chores and got to wondering... Are you single and is this other guy single? I ask only because I know some (immature) guys who only know how to show affection by teasing. Maybe he's trying to get your attention. ?

This was one of my thoughts as well. Since it's been revealed that it was a man who made these comments, I wonder the same thing. To be honest, the average man isn't going to notice a woman's wardrobe or style. Unless he has "eyes" for that woman, and takes notice of what she looks like every day. Maybe this guy is just clumsy with words? Most days, if I were asked at the end of the day what certain women I regularly encountered were wearing, I'd probably not have a clue. I know very few guys who would comment on a woman's clothes, even to other guys, unless there was a really good reason, such as horribly ill fitting, too revealing, etc.

My guess is this guy may "like" the OP, or he may just be a bully. The bully thing would have been obvious well before now though. That doesn't come and go. A bullying personality rears it's head daily. A shy or insecure man attempting to flirt, may seem much more random and awkward.
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