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Old 04-22-2014, 04:30 PM   #1
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Still fat in my head??

I've lost just a few pounds shy of 30. Maybe 30 or a bit more. (Don't know my exact weight when I started.) Everybody see's the weight loss and I'm getting compliments on how great I'm looking. All the good stuff.

Here's the thing. I see changes but not dramatic ones. Some days I don't see much at all. I've read about other people still seeing themselves as being over weight in their heads (even after goal.) and I'm wondering if maybe it's just in my head how do you rewire your brain to see the skinny you?
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Old 04-22-2014, 04:45 PM   #2
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Have you bought any new clothes? Wearing the same old baggy clothes does not help your self-image
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Old 04-22-2014, 04:47 PM   #3
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Yes. Some.
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Old 04-22-2014, 05:00 PM   #4
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I think when we've lost a certain amount of the weight we want to lose, it is noticeable to others and even to ourselves--but we're paying more attention than we did when we were gaining or had been heavier for a long while. You should start to see more of the dramatic changes in your last 25-35 pounds as you get closer to your goal weight. I can tell you that for me, the difference in my first 30 pounds felt pretty disappointing when I saw pictures. I mean, I was still very overweight. That was reality. But then once I got to the second half of my weight loss, I could start to see my progress with every new five pounds lost. (And especially with the final ten to fifteen, that really made the difference!)

So I don't think it's our eyes playing tricks on us as much as our standards and expectations have changed, and caught up with our reality. This isn't a terrible thing, it doesn't mean you haven't lost 30 pounds--and you should be proud of that. The good news is you are well on your way and should start to really see and feel those changes from here on out.
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Old 04-22-2014, 06:39 PM   #5
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I think a lot of us go through this. I know when I lost 80lbs I still saw myself at 240 lbs. I guess at some point I still do.
My family hates to go in public with me because I compare myself with everyone. My mind doesn't comprehend what I really look like.
When I was down to a sz 12, now I'm between 12 and 14, I was always freaked out about flying because I was afraid I wouldn't fit in the seat or the seat belt wouldn't fit around me. My family thought I was crazy, but I was so worried.
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Old 04-22-2014, 06:44 PM   #6
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I wish we had a "Like" button. Thank you
Half way there. Can't believe that actually because I've never actually made it to the half way point. I've given up in the past because I never saw the difference or just life getting in the way.

People are starting to tell me not to lose too much more weight
I still got a tummy and thighs that need to be put to rest. Looking forward to breaking into the 160's! I honestly don't remember the last time I was there
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Old 04-22-2014, 07:15 PM   #7
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Do you have any old photos of yourself that you could put next to a recent one? That might help a bit. Definitely wear clothes that fit. That makes a huge difference. It really helps.

Keep looking every day. It will happen. Tell yourself about the changes, the inches & sizes lost. Words are powerful.

I had over 100 lbs to lose when I started & it took a long time for me to see the changes in the mirror even though I saw the numbers on the tape measure & scale go down. I just kept looking and telling myself I was smaller & I would see it soon. One day I did & I have seen it every day since. It is kind of like magic once you see your hard work reflected back at you in the mirror. Very cool. I look in the mirror and always see how far I've come, never how far I have to go.

I think I have managed to keep up with my loss in my head pretty well. I only think positive thoughts about my body & loss. Affirmations, too. Sometimes I am smaller in my mind's eye than in real life. I'm fine with that. My mind knows where my body is going and is thinking ahead. My body will catch up and, in the meantime, my mind is happy. lol...
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Old 04-22-2014, 07:35 PM   #8
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I just played with an app where I could put pics next to each other. I did one the day after I started and one I took yesterday. Holy smokes. It's funny because I didn't realize I was that big and now I don't know I'm much smaller. Irony.
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Old 04-22-2014, 07:53 PM   #9
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I look at my before, during and after pictures and I still see myself as the before me. I honestly don't know if I can ever see me as what I really look like.
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Old 04-22-2014, 08:07 PM   #10
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In 2010, I got below 200 for the first time in my adult life. But I still felt like a whale, and still called myself names like that, and still compared myself to every single other woman I ever saw. I eventually gained back all the weight I lost, because I just couldn't handle it. Now, when I look back at the pictures taken of me at that time, I can't believe I couldn't see how much thinner I looked. I looked significantly different, and could not see it.

I'm in therapy now. One of the things I'm working on is my body image problem, and why it ever came to this. And also why I hold on to this fat like a suit of armor.
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Old 04-23-2014, 04:56 PM   #11
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Luckily, I have a past experience to go off of. When joined the Navy, I was 24% body fat. Barely made the cutoff. During boot camp, I didn't notice any physical change other than getting in shape. Even after 3 months, when my BF was down to 18%, I couldn't see it. But when I got home afterwards and saw pictures from the day I left, I was blown away.
I wish we could all do that. See what we will look like in a year. For now, I'll just trust the baggy clothes and compliments of my coworkers.
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Old 04-23-2014, 05:06 PM   #12
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I've been in maintenance for 6 months now, and even though I can wear a size 8 Levis, I still sometimes feel "fat"! Not sure what triggers it, or even what to do to fix it. It does help to compare your before and after pics. One thing I've noticed is that sometimes if I'm walking down the street and catch a glimpse of "someone" in the window, I think Oh, she looks nice, and then realize it's me. LOL But it is hard to get rid of that "fat" mentality.
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Old 04-24-2014, 12:08 PM   #13
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I lost a lot of weight about 15 years ago, well over 100 pounds, the last small jeans I bought was a size 0 (I still have them as if I'm ever going to fit into them again...not that I even want to) and I still thought I was fat. I can see how easy it is to fall into an eating disorder. My sister finally shook me and asked "how can you possibly be fat if you're wearing a size 0?" Then she took a picture of me and showed it to me. That is when I realized I wasn't fat anymore. I was actually underweight. It wasn't until I saw it in a picture, not in the mirror, that I acknowledged and recognized it.

Pictures are key. Mirrors are reversed, you're not seeing the you everyone else sees. I heard somewhere that you have to split your body in half in a mirror to see the real you. It's hard to explain. Anyway, pictures, pictures, pictures!

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Old 04-24-2014, 01:33 PM   #14
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I agree with everyone about taking pictures. The funny thing is, that when my weight ballooned up, I didn't realize how big I had gotten. It took a picture for me to see just how much weight I had put on. Now that I've lost weight, it still takes a picture for me to see a change.
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Old 04-24-2014, 01:46 PM   #15
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When you get that "wow look at me" moment, you will know that you are where you want to be. Yes take pix - best advice. Pictures don't lie!
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Old 04-25-2014, 02:59 AM   #16
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This is very interesting. I don't think we see ourselves when we look in the mirror...or at least I done. I see the clothes, or my face in segments as I apply makeup but I never really look at the whole me. I have to consciously take the time to SEE myself. It's an odd thing
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Old 04-27-2014, 07:28 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by astribling View Post
I've been in maintenance for 6 months now, and even though I can wear a size 8 Levis, I still sometimes feel "fat"! Not sure what triggers it, or even what to do to fix it. It does help to compare your before and after pics. One thing I've noticed is that sometimes if I'm walking down the street and catch a glimpse of "someone" in the window, I think Oh, she looks nice, and then realize it's me. LOL But it is hard to get rid of that "fat" mentality.

I'm the same way. If somebody would have told me that they thought they were fat in a size 8 when I was at my heaviest a few years and 95 pounds ago, I would have wanted to smack them upside the head. Yet now I am a size 8 and I still feel chubby. My friend and I took a picture together yesterday while we were wearing matching tee shirts. Ugh...I looked heavier than him. For what its worth, he wears a men's small/medium and also complains that he needs to lose weight. I think that we are all just harder on ourselves.
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Old 04-27-2014, 07:36 PM   #18
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Definitely know what you are talking about.

There are some days I look in the mirror and think "Wow, I'm getting skinny and looking good!" And there are just as many days where I cannot see any progress at all and can only see the fat that is still there. Perception is a complicated mental mechanism!
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Old 04-27-2014, 09:31 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by afurrything View Post
I look at my before, during and after pictures and I still see myself as the before me. I honestly don't know if I can ever see me as what I really look like.
This is me!! I have always been heavy in my head. I have a hard time seeing the me at size 20 and the me at size 12. I broke down the other day when my beautiful, athletic, slender 5'11" daughter jokingly tried on a dress I had worn in high school - me being 5'10" I was always bigger than my tiny friends, so I thought I was Fat... well, my daughter wears an 8/10 and she is stunning had to squeeze into my dress. I can't believe that I ever looked like her! It dawned on my how many years I had wasted worrying about how I looked. Well, I know it will be a hard road for me to change those internal thoughts and try to see in the mirror that I actually look good.
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Old 04-28-2014, 10:17 AM   #20
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Sadly, this is the result of society. If we are not 6' tall and 100 pounds soaked and wet, we have been programed to feel fat. I was 5' 6" a size 11 in high school and I went down to a size 3 after I graduated. Well, this was back in the day before vanity sizes, so by today's standards I would have been an 8/10 in high school and a size 0 or smaller after. I had no hips they were a 33 and I had a 24" waist! And I still saw my self as fat! One day walking past a department store I caught a side view of my self, I was disappearing before my own eyes! I took a good look at myself that day, I had no shape at all. People kept telling me I was too thin and I just thought they were jealous So I started eating more and gained 15 pounds went up to a size 5, then I felt fat again!! But I was younger then, I am hoping to be in a size 6 by November, and hope that I can come to terms with my self image.
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Old 04-30-2014, 11:12 AM   #21
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It's taken me almost 5 years to realize how small I am. Seriously. In my head I was still really fat, uncomfortable, have had to deal with a lot of excess skin that people (in my head people were thinking and saying these things) could think is fat or they can look at me and still think I'm fat because I'm 220lbs and in a size 18.

Honestly, I'm not fat, though. I have got so much skin I have to tuck in my pants, it has to go somewhere, and my size 18 pants hold it all in. There's nothing I can do about it besides get surgery. I'm still losing weight, slowly, but I'm pretty small when you look at me. Every now and then I will walk by a reflective window or mirror and look over and not recognize who that person is.

Over time, though, I've finally come to accept that I'm pretty small. I'll never say skinny, because I'll never be skinny nor do I want to be. I love my curves, but the excess skin I could do without.
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Old 05-02-2014, 01:53 AM   #22
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I heard it called "Fat Head Syndrome" I suffer from it as well. The pro is that "Fat Jo" keeps me focused. I know I suffer from FHS because I've been Fat Jo way longer then Thin Jo.

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Old 05-02-2014, 05:44 AM   #23
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I always see myself as heavier than I am probably.
when thin, I get flashes of being thin and happy with that image, but a minute later I can turn just right, catch a glimpse in a mirror or something and see myself as HUGE!
I can't win
Now I am going by size. when a 10-12 everyone said I looked great. I sure didn't think so, but now I am going to just hit a 10-12 and be done. hold there. get on with my life after that!
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Old 05-03-2014, 08:33 PM   #24
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My size 12's are getting too big and I can get into a size 10
Ok, first of all how did that happen? I still have thighs and a butt and a gut. So a size 10 I tell myself it's vanity size. BUT..I don't remember the last time I was shopping that size. 12/14/16's yes.

The pictures are helping that is for sure
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Old 05-04-2014, 07:20 AM   #25
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I actually had the opposite problem- I thought I was thin when I was fat. So for the longest time in my mind I was all well I still look pretty good, I'm not fat or anything, just a little bigger...

I only realized how big I had gotten when I started losing weight and at goal I see myself accurately (what I see/think corresponds with how I look in pictures and what other people think).
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Old 05-04-2014, 09:51 AM   #26
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The first pic was me in August. 4 months before I restarted this journey. The next pic was me last week. It's a more dramatic difference when I put half clothed pictures next to each other, but I'm not posting those

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Old 05-04-2014, 09:53 AM   #27
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Why isn't it showing...
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Old 05-06-2014, 08:54 AM   #28
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Angel, I think that if you have been overweight for an extended period of time, psychologically we have berated ourselves, been ashamed/embarrassed, avoided pictures etc. to the point that our body image is so bad that we are convinced we could never be a normal size. I have gained and lost 50-70 pounds in a cycle for years, every time I still saw myself as fat, I am 5'9" and at the time I was in a size 8 jean. One thing that amazed me is no one, weight watchers, Jenny Craig, addresses this.
When I started Medi in 2013 I read what I could find and found that weight loss isn't generally noticed by others for 2 months, this seems to be pretty true, longer if you have a bunch to lose, like someone else said the second half of weight loss is more noticeable.
My advice is to look at yourself, we tend to "segment our bodies" like someone else posted earlier when looking in the mirror. Really look at yourself, dressed, undressed, and keep your "big" pants, and as you buy new ones for your shrinking body look at the difference, put on the fat ones if you have too. I think the point is to really see yourself for the first time as you are, I know I avoided for so long that it took time to accept and see who I was/am and to accept that it really was me.
Talk to a counselor if you have trouble with it, it is a real issue and one that most people avoid; maybe because they all think you lost 20,40,100 pounds and should be happy. Good luck with it - take this time to get to know yourself, your triggers etc. This is the first time in my life that I have done that and the first time that I truly feel in control of all aspects of my life.
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