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Old 09-10-2013, 04:05 PM   #1
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Anxiety over Age?

I guess my question is for anyone who started their weight loss journey after their twenties or in their late twenties. Do you struggle with regret over not doing it earlier? Did you have any underlying medical problems that causerd the weight gain? In my case it was clinical depression. My apologies in advance if this isn't "diet based" enough, but no one seems to frequent the emotional support sub-forum and I thought I might get more answers here. I am going to be 31 in October. I didn't want to turn 30, either, but lately I've been feeling really bad about it. I have two fine lines on my forehead and they're really bothering me. I guess I just thought I'd be farther along in my life by now, and I'm not. I'm in grad school but I've been in grad school since 2009. It took me six years to finish college, and it's been about 4 years in grad school. I haven't even had a steady job, just transitory work. I did loose 100 pounds recently, which is great. But I guess I feel sad because I can see myself aging and I know I'm just going to get older and older. I would appreciate any words of encouragement. I guess I feel sad that it took me so long to get my life together-I feel like the weight loss was part of getting on the right track, but I feel kind of lost otherwise.
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Old 09-10-2013, 04:18 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucy1018 View Post
I guess my question is for anyone who started their weight loss journey after their twenties or in their late twenties. Do you struggle with regret over not doing it earlier? Did you have any underlying medical problems that causerd the weight gain? In my case it was clinical depression. My apologies in advance if this isn't "diet based" enough, but no one seems to frequent the emotional support sub-forum and I thought I might get more answers here. I am going to be 31 in October. I didn't want to turn 30, either, but lately I've been feeling really bad about it. I have two fine lines on my forehead and they're really bothering me. I guess I just thought I'd be farther along in my life by now, and I'm not. I'm in grad school but I've been in grad school since 2009. It took me six years to finish college, and it's been about 4 years in grad school. I haven't even had a steady job, just transitory work. I did loose 100 pounds recently, which is great. But I guess I feel sad because I can see myself aging and I know I'm just going to get older and older. I would appreciate any words of encouragement. I guess I feel sad that it took me so long to get my life together-I feel like the weight loss was part of getting on the right track, but I feel kind of lost otherwise.

I don't have any words of encouragement.. just that I felt pretty much the same. I got fat in my late 20's. Those years sucked and I didn't give a damn if I lived or died..in some ways I still don't..so the weight was the least of my concern. One benefit at the time of being that fat was it kept guys from hitting on me and I used it as an excuse to push others away because I didn't want them seeing what a fat blob I turned into. And no, I do not have "depression" because pills can't fix the problems I had. If I had any idea that getting fat would've ruined my body physically even more then maybe just maybe I wouldn't have done it but again..I hid behind being fat and unappealing.

Last edited by UghNowWhat; 09-10-2013 at 04:20 PM..
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Old 09-10-2013, 05:00 PM   #3
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Lucy, I just want to hug you and tell you, you are young with a great future ahead of you. 31 is a baby...lol, I'm 62. When I was 34, I decided to go back to school and finish my nursing degree. I found myself thinking, I'm getting older and I still haven't accomplished a major life goal.
Write down your goals and be proactive. You must be smart to get as far as you have. You can have it all like getting your Master's, getting a job that you love, losing weight, etc. It is all at your finger tips.
I want you to say, at my age, you did it and are content with your choices. BTW, congratulations on you weight loss thus far.
Best wishes, honey.
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Old 09-10-2013, 05:07 PM   #4
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Believe those of us older than you (41 here,) that the your best years are ahead of you- you couldn't pay me to be in my 20s/ early 30s again! have you considered talking to a professional about your self esteem issues?

By the way, losing 100 pounds is better than great, it's an amazing accomplishment that took strength and perseverance and you should be proud of that. Every. Day.
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Old 09-10-2013, 05:46 PM   #5
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I wish I discovered low carb as a teenager, but I am lucky I found it at 31. Some people spend their whole lives battling food.
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Old 09-10-2013, 07:32 PM   #6
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yes, 31 is so similar to 21 as to be almost indistinguishable by the time you get to be 60. you have almost your whole life ahead. stop regretting the past and just do your best every day!

the one thing I will say is that almost everyone gets happier as they get older. we are less self absorbed, just naturally, and it's a good thing!

hug yourself and go get 'em!
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Old 09-10-2013, 08:55 PM   #7
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Of course I wish I had discovered LC sooner, but judging by most young women I know, I'd have still thought I was too fat, anyway.

I can't dwell on past regrets. There are too many of them!! All you can do is move forward. My thirties (even though I spent the first half of them fat) were WAY better than my twenties anyway. You start to care less about what other people think, IMO, and that means more confidence.

Now I'm 45, and I still have many dreams to accomplish and many years ahead of me to do so. You truly are only as old as you feel. My mom is the type who has felt like she was old since she was my age. She lived her life accordingly and I feel she has wasted decades when she could have been out setting goals, meeting people, learning things, etc.
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Old 09-10-2013, 09:14 PM   #8
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I turned 31 last month, have a line between my eyes, two on my forehead and the beginnings of crows feet when I smile... I'm not exactly stoked about these things... But... I would never ever ever ever go back to my twenties, and fully believe the best years lay ahead. I still feel young ( ish) I plan on being in the best shape of my life by my next birthday ... Life is unpredictable that's what makes it interesting... You never know what lies ahead... Google people who became successful after 30 you will be amazed and inspire by the stories and I promise you will recognize the names !
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Old 09-10-2013, 09:51 PM   #9
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Don't you fret over those lines, and not being further along. You are not alone in the least. I'm 40. Aging...still fat...trying to get into grad school. Our journeys are all different. Sometimes I look at folks my age who seem to have it all together in every aspect of life. But many of them look bored and unhappy. They ask my husband and me all the time (he's in school too) why in the world we are doing what we are. All I can say is that the sacrifice is worth it. It's scary, and it's hard...but it's never boring. Live life to the fullest! Never stop trying to improve yourself. I know folks that went to law school in advanced years (well beyond middle age) and had a second career. Don't worry that you aren't "there" yet. "There" is a state of mind.
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Old 09-11-2013, 12:27 AM   #10
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Lucy,
I grew up with a mother who lived (still lives) with nothing but regrets for just about every aspect of her life and it has done nothing but make her miserable. I made a conscious decision to not live my life full of regrets. Do I wish I had not listened to the so-called experts back in the 70's (when I was in my teens) who said Atkins was a quack and his diet would have devastating health consequences? Sure because I would not have ended up at 330 pounds as a result of a carb addiction or a diabetic because my body couldn't handle those carbs, but I also realize that all of my life experiences make me who I am today...and I really do like who I am. So I accept every life experience that made me this way.

Of course you're going to get older and older, that's life...and you can choose to fight it tooth and nail as many do with their endless face lifts, botox, collagen injections, etc...or embrace it. I embrace it and accept that I have 'laugh' lines around my eyes and mouth and that gravity has taken its toll on the 'girls'.

I'm 57 years old and have to say that every decade has gotten better. Occasionally, I'll look in the mirror and think "who are you?" because inside I still feel like I'm 25...but maybe wiser. Some people look at 57 as 'old', but you know...based on my family history, I probably have a good 30-40 years still ahead of me and now that I've taken off the weight, I can actually enjoy them!

You're 31? You're just a baby, honey, with your whole life still ahead of you! 31 is a great age! You're still at the beginning of life, but old enough for people to take you seriously.

Congratulations on taking off the 100 pounds! That certainly will help in your enjoyment over the next 50-60 years!
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Old 09-11-2013, 03:53 AM   #11
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Great post and advice Melody! Lucy, congratulations on your amazing weight loss and I think you have accomplished alot for 31 years old. A 100 pound weight loss and a graduate degree is pretty darn awesome.
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Old 09-11-2013, 04:37 AM   #12
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I am 60.... my mind does not say that I am... but my body does. Regrets...... loads of them. You will always have those regrets that you didnt do this or that... or that you did and opps.... should not have.
You are young with lots of time to "fix things". But I guess my anwser would be "YES"
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Old 09-11-2013, 11:34 AM   #13
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Lucy, your post touched me. I am 44 years old and I have to tell you that my 30s were the best decade of my life so far. Every single person on the face of this planet has a regret or 10 and a case or 20 of "what ifs" ~ that's just how life is. You are so far ahead of the game with your education and the perseverence (sp?) it took to lose 100 pounds! You should be looking proudly at yourself in the mirror and giving yourself a serious high-five! As for the lines on your forehead, those are from various forms of expression brought on by living life! Every one of us gets them at some point and I consider them beautiful ~ a vision of a life with a story to tell...each line carved by years of laughter, sorrow, happiness, worry, excitement, etc. When my age bothered me (probabaly in my late 20's, nearing 30), I looked at all of my friends and was comforted to see that we were all in the same boat and I didn't see them any differently. I didn't see the wrinkles, though they were there. We are our own worst critics. Always remember that. Love yourself and live each day as if tomorrow was not promised.
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Old 09-11-2013, 11:59 AM   #14
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You are not alone in feeling like this. I'm going to be 30 in October and have a very similar story. We can never really plan for the path life takes us on. Everyone has similar thoughts as they get older. Hope it helps to know your not alone!
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