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Old 07-31-2013, 09:55 AM   #1
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Bingers- anyone binge-free more than few month?

I would love to hear from those who have been binge-free for more than few months. Is low-carb the answer??? I can't get my eating under control. I do great for 1 week and than the urge to binge comes back. I give in and you know the rest of the story. My question is, does this gets easier. Will the cravings go away the longer I stay LC?
I am losing my hopes

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Old 07-31-2013, 11:36 AM   #2
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It does get easier. The first couple of weeks are the hardest. I haven't completely lost my cravings but after about a month my appetite changed and I really don't think about it too much. I am on a plan that is less than 30 total carbs per day so I basically went cold turkey on my carbs and that helped.

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Old 07-31-2013, 12:20 PM   #3
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I've been on plan, no cheats since February 22. I know there are many others that have been on even longer than that.

I was the QUEEN of bingers. I could eat and eat and eat, all junk food. Once you get past the first couple of weeks, it really does get easier. I stick to induction, so I basically eat just meat, eggs, and cheese. I keep it simple and avoid processed foods for the most part and I rarely even have the urge to eat anything off plan.
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Old 07-31-2013, 12:31 PM   #4
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Lowcarber...could you give us a little more background info? I have seen your posts about binge issues before, mainly on the JUDDD board.

Is there a certain time of day that you binge? A certain trigger? Do you binge at home? In a restaurant?

What types of foods do you typically eat? Maybe a sample daily food plan?

I don't about bingeing per se, but I know if I have a full plate of food (what would be considered a "normal" SAD meal) I will usually eat it all before my satiety signal kicks in and then I am stuffed afterwards. I have been working on this and it has improved a lot since starting JUDDD. One thing that has helped has been realizing that hunger is NOT an emergency. I remember that I used to sometimes eat a meal (lunch at work, for example) just in case I might become hungry later! Now I know that UD or DD I can drink a cup of coffee with HWC and do just fine.
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Old 07-31-2013, 12:47 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by Familyvet View Post
Lowcarber...could you give us a little more background info? I have seen your posts about binge issues before, mainly on the JUDDD board.

Is there a certain time of day that you binge? A certain trigger? Do you binge at home? In a restaurant?

What types of foods do you typically eat? Maybe a sample daily food plan?

I don't about bingeing per se, but I know if I have a full plate of food (what would be considered a "normal" SAD meal) I will usually eat it all before my satiety signal kicks in and then I am stuffed afterwards. I have been working on this and it has improved a lot since starting JUDDD. One thing that has helped has been realizing that hunger is NOT an emergency. I remember that I used to sometimes eat a meal (lunch at work, for example) just in case I might become hungry later! Now I know that UD or DD I can drink a cup of coffee with HWC and do just fine.
I binge on yogurt, honey, fruits and nuts. I can eat 2 large containers of yogurt, few bananas, bag of nuts a day.
I can eat 4000 cal worth of the above a day. If I don't have these foods at home, I go buy it.

I stopped eating SAD many years ago. I don't eat any grains or sugar (except for honey- only during binges).
I eat meat, fish, eggs, CO, EVOO, ghee, veggies and fruits. All organic and grass-fed.

I binge mostly during PMS any time of the day. But lately I have been binging any time of the month. I binge at home and always in secret.

I binge weather I am on JUDDD or LC. I do better when I stay LC but eventually the cravings come back and I binge again.
It is not the question of hunger here. I can't tell myself that "hunger is not an emergency". The binging thoughts are so strong that I can't talked myself out of it.
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Old 07-31-2013, 02:06 PM   #6
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I used supplements initially to get me thru those anxiety fueled urges. The Diet Cure was helpful but if you are interested I used 500mg of GABA a day plus 5htp and glutamine. Could have been placebo response but I don't think so.
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Old 07-31-2013, 02:12 PM   #7
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Lisa- I am debating on starting l-glutamine. What dosage did you take?
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Old 07-31-2013, 02:55 PM   #8
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Thanks Mom2AandE and MtherGoos

Lisa- I am debating on starting l-glutamine. What dosage did you take?
I honestly don't remember. I think I took about 4g a day 2g am and 2 pm?? Not sure. Sorry
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Old 07-31-2013, 06:42 PM   #9
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Hi Everyone,

I am a lurker but joined up to answer this question. I struggled with infrequent, but persistant binging since high school. Years ago a therapist suggested I read a book called "Overcoming Overeating". The book presents some ideas that absolutely don't work for me but one idea that has changed my life is a technique to get rid of binging that absolutely does work for me. It sounds crazy but for me, it works.

You go to the store and proudly buy huge portions of all of your favorite binge food (for me oreos, cereal and ice cream) like I would buy at least 2 packs of Oreos and two different types of cereal and two gallons of ice cream, just huge amounts that you couldn't possibly eat in a day. Then you give yourself permission to eat, changing any negative thoughts about what you are doing to "I give myself permission to eat this food, I am glad that I know a way to comfort myself and that I have the means to do it. Making this choice doesn't mean that I will always make this choice but what I'm doing is absolutely a valid way to comfort myself" or some kind of similar self talk that validates and up lifts you. Then you go ahead and binge, making sure you say the positive things.

What I have found is that while I may go all out on day 1, by day 3 I am tired of those foods and no longer feel the urge to binge. I have repeated this three times in six years and it has been effective each time at stopping a binge. Probably much more effective since I actually read the book and I'm sure I'm not doing the technique much justice.

The first time I tried it I cannot express how wierd it felt to be doing the exact thing I wanted to stop doing but somehow like I said, by day 3 I was just like "Ugh, no more Oreos!" And I was ready to move on to another way of eating.

Good Luck
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Old 08-01-2013, 01:15 AM   #10
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It does get easier, I promise.
And yes, this does work, for me anyway, but also for a whole lot of other people here, to stop or at the very least, manage, your urge to binge.
Just get through the first couple of weeks until your appetite suppression sets in. And during those first couple of weeks, eat as much as you want, and stick to meat, eggs and fat.
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Old 08-01-2013, 01:30 AM   #11
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I used to be a terrible binger, I would literally diet for a few days and then have a massive binge feel really bad and vow to start my diet again the following Monday (whilst still eating so much junk in the interim period) then the cycle would start again. This went on for years. Not even low carb & being ketosis could control it.

In the end the thing that worked for me was actually giving up dieting & worrying about weight for about a year, I gave myself permission to eat anything and everything I wanted, in reality this lasted a couple of weeks before naturally I started picking 'healthier choices' - I didn't really gain much during that year and my impulse to binge disappeared. I have been back on the diet wagon now for about 6 months and I haven't binged at all neither have I felt the urge & finally I am losing weight

I think psychologically my head was really messed up, sometimes we get so caught up in the diet/binge cycle we just have to step of the wheel and get some perspective.

Good luck in your journey.

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Old 08-01-2013, 04:24 AM   #12
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I have my compulsion under control now.
For a sort of jounal about my road, here are some snips from another thread about my progress:

--------------6/17/13--------
Like I mentioned earlier, supplements help. The Diet Cure by Julia Ross might be a good read for you. For my NES, I try to do:
-- L-Glutamine 500 mg morning, midmorning, and afternoon
--Magnesium, 500 mg shortly after dinner
--5-HTP, 100 mg at dinner
--Chromium GTF, 500 mcg (that's micrograms) after dinner and in the late afternoon if I remember it.

If I forget to take my pills, a good quick fix is 500 mg L-Glutamine, 500 mcg Chromium GTF and 500 mg magnesium. And then I sip on flavored water, or delay/distract for 20 minutes.

And then I always have a planned, written down optional snack in a written-down quantity, and I can have that after supper. I try to wait 15 minutes when I think I want it, and sometimes the urge passes. But if I do eat it, I don't beat myself up about it.

------------6/23/13----------
agree 100% about not taking the weekend off. (talking about carb cheats).
Plus, every time I stray with carbs, it detracts from my body's ability to automatically go to fat stores for fuels--some experts say it takes 2-4 WEEKS to recover metabolically from a carb cheat (meaning that it interferes with the body's ability to remember that stored fat is its preferred fuel).

For weekend tips--- a lot of times I'll fix lunch plates from dinner leftovers right when I clean up from supper. Then the next day I can just microwave the portioned-out plate.

I keep a legal food to have as an optional snack and I try to really think whether I need it before I eat it. I write down the portion I am allowed to have, or I portion it out into servings in advance. Gone are the days of grabbing the whole box of snacks and munching mindlessly--- if I want a snack I put a portion into a bowl.

------------6/24/13------
I don't know what's going on with me, but last night I did not wake with nighttime food cravings. At all. Not once. Can it be true that I'm getting a handle on this stupid eating disorder???? Wish me luck.


----------6/25/13-------
Okay-- last night was Day 2 that I didn't wake wanting a snack.
I woke, but I didn't get that compulsion to eat (Night Eating Syndrome symptom).

I didn't eat. I went back to sleep. This is HUGE for me.

I put the weight back on in large part due to my nighttime eating troubles/disorder. My sleep troubles started with menopause, and the eating compulsion came when I was stressed out and travelling a lot when my mother was dying in 2010. I have felt compelled to eat at night since then, every night, and have very rarely slept through the night in that time period.

And now I've had two days in a row of sleeping pretty well and not eating once during sleep time. I'm amazed and I'm hopeful that it is a lasting change.

I am tracking my food so I can hopefully figure out what is doing it.

--------6/27/13---------
Last night was Day 3 I'm counting as a success.

We ate dinner out.
After I was ready for bed, I was a tiny bit hungry. I ate one 1-carb candy thing from Linda Sue's site (56 calories, if that matters). I drank a glass of fizzy water because I was thirsty, and I went to bed and ate no more until breakfast time.

I think it is a combo of staying on plan LC, keeping up with my magnesium supplements, and practicing being peaceful and unstressed as best as I can. And I suspect cutting way down on artificial sugars has helped too, for my own struggle.

-------7/3/13----------
I just got back from a 6-day camping trip with good friends.
I stayed on plan, which included venturing into eating tiny portions of blueberry, cantaloupe, and once I had 3 cherries. Other than that, the only other food I ate that wasn't good was Dutch Oven Meatloaf with steel-cut oats as a minimal filler.

I did great with not eating at night except on the meatloaf night. That night I woke twice and had too many little chocolate candies I made (1 carb each but I ate 6 of them). And then the next night I had a nice fatty steak and a small portion of zucchini/mushroom/tomato/onion medley (hobo veggie pack over the fire--- it was great!) And that put me right back on track and I didn't eat at night that night.

I really really think that staying low carb but well fed throughout the day, plus the magnesium supplements, is what's doing the trick for me. Seems like even the smallest bit of off-plan food (like the steel cut oats in my friend's delicious meat loaf) is enough to cause a nighttime episode. Very interesting, and I'm really proud of myself for doing well while camping.

and
Therapy didn't help me either (CBT, along with "chew gum" and "just use willpower". For $120 an hour, I want more than a suggestion to pick up some gum. )
I think nutrition is healing me. I think I was lacking nutrients and minerals and stuff, and now that I am eating a carefully crafted LC diet, I'm doing much better.

and
Calcium and magnesium are used to regulate muscles including the heart.
I knew a dose in the evening could help with sleep.
And I read that sweets cravings could be helped by taking magnesium.

Recently, while searching the web for ideas about NES help, it kept coming up, with several people claiming that it helped them. I also read that sweets deplete magnesium from the body. Since my issue includes eating sweets, I figured I was low on magnesium. And also, once a body begins to burn fat due to being on a LC diet, magnesium needs are increased because a lot of it is excreted in urine (at least at the first month or so).

So I just lucked into it--- I supplemented magnesium, then changed the timing of my dosage after I read anecdotes which claimed that magnesium helped with NES. And it helped.

------7/8/13-------
I patterned my recovery after the recommendations in Julia Ross' "The Diet Cure". My night eating issues are different from yours --I wake and eat in middle of the night, but I did enjoy a dessert 1-2 hrs after my 7 pm dinner. I'm doing very, very well with it now.

Here's some snips from "The Diet Cure":
If your cravings are triggered by a drop in blood sugar (hypoglycemia), the L-glutamine should alleviate them in just a day. Two 500-milligram capsules three times a day between meals is usually sufficient. For fast, emergency relief of carbohydrate cravings (and/ or alcohol cravings), take 500 milligrams of L-glutamine or more, if needed, by opening a capsule under your tongue. As L-glutamine stabilizes your brain’s blood sugar level, your mood will stabilize as well.
(Ross suggests 3 doses--- early morning, mid-morning, and mid-afternoon Best if NOT taken with food.)

And it can be quick-acting, too. So if you get twitchy cravings-wise, pop another one (within reason--- I think 3-4 total daily doses is fine)

Ross says:
Don’t leave the house without our other stellar blood sugar stabilizer, the amino acid L-glutamine. It can stop cravings for sweets, starches, and alcohol instantly (as I mention in chapters one and nine), by preventing the brain from dropping into the low blood sugar, code red, must-eat-candy-or-have-a-beer-or-hit-someone state. How? When the brain is low in glucose (blood sugar), it can burn glutamine instead. L-glutamine was first synthesized by a biochemist who quickly discovered how remarkable it was in eliminating alcoholics’ cravings for alcohol. It can have the same miraculous effect on cravings for sweets and starches. It has many other health benefits as well. It works fastest when used as a powder. (Open a capsule in your mouth. It’s great tasting.)


For other supplements, Ross suggests aminos, particularly D-phenylalanine or DLPA (for comfort food cravings), GABA (stress eating), and
"If you have low serotonin levels, try a 500- to 1,000-milligram dose of tryptophan midmorning, midafternoon, and two hours after dinner (or at bedtime, if sleep is a problem)"

A few last thoughts-- Ross also advocates getting enough light--she suggests tanning beds and high lux artificial sources, but I'm gonna try natural sunlight because I always sleep better when we go to the beach.

And she emphasises getting complete proteins by emphasizing meat products, and moderate exercise.

I have back issues so I can't do much, but I intend to be mindful about trying to do what I can, preferably in the sunlight.

I hope this helps give you ideas on what you can try. I hope you do well. I'm not cured yet, but I am SO much better than I was, and it feels very empowering.
While I'm in here, I'd like to report on my progress.
I've had NES issues for a couple of years, with a 30-lb weight gain.

-Jun 23 was the first night with no nighttime eating.
-Jun 24/25 no night eating.
-Jun 26 I had a small nighttime snack and then stopped eating and returned to sleep.
-Then camping Jun 27-Jul 2, with unexpected carbs at dinner one night followed by an inappropriate amount of LC/legal food in the middle of the night.
-Since then, I have had one night where I ate an appropriate amount of legal food. And I was honestly actually hungry when I awoke at night. I have noticed more desire for eating at breakfast time (new to me). And I think I had restricted dinner food too much to 'make up' for the calories I had at breakfast. I'm not doing that anymore.

All the other nights, I have not eaten at night.

My sleep is still broken, and I'm investigating ways to help that (sunlight, vitamin D3, possibly Ashwagandha, which is one ingredient in Cortisol Control). I feel much better. Weight loss is slow, but not truly a stall. I think I'll stay satisfied with feeling better and getting better, and letting any future weight loss serve as a signal that I AM getting better with my sleep/nutrition/metabolic issues.
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Old 08-01-2013, 04:26 AM   #13
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And another thing that isn't emphasized much in that post is that I think D3 supplementation and daily walks in the sunshine, along with good sleep hygeine, was important for my recovery. Sleep is essential for any kind of healing.

ETA and I mentioned 500 mg magnesium as part of a quick fix. I now think that 250 mg would do it.

and the first step to get this all rolling was that I ate all low carb stuff. I didn't worry about quantity too much, but I tried very hard not to go with an off-plan food. My night eating foods were low carb too. I had to plan ahead and make recipes to cover the compulsion eating.

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Old 08-01-2013, 05:55 AM   #14
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Water is part of the answer. I made myself drink a full glass before eating something when I felt like snacking. i now drink a lot more by habit than I used to. I cut down on protein portions, and increased fat. I can now be satisfied with 3 oz. of chicken dipped in a mustard/mayo mixture and 1 oz of cheese for lunch. No more huge salads, just 1-2 cups of lettuce, and only occaisionally. I usually only have veggies once a day for my evening meal.
And no tastes of off plan foods. None at all.
It works for me.
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Old 08-01-2013, 06:57 AM   #15
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dmburk: you are doing really well with your weight loss.
I grew up in southcentral PA. Little town called Greencastle.
Where are you?
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Old 08-01-2013, 07:04 AM   #16
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I haven't binged...or wanted to...since around Jan. 1 when I went back to low carb *consistently*. I have not had one cheat (not even a bite) since then. My carbs are always below 25gm and only from non-starchy vegies (or those hidden in things like eggs). So I think my binges were directly related to the carbs.

Sometimes bingeing is an emotional thing set off by stress or other causes. Will low carb help...or will it just be bingeing on low carb stuff where the damage may not be as noticeable re: weight? Dunno...but it can't hurt to try. In all fairness to low carb, though, you'd have to be strict about those carbs. Every cheat may just set you up with enough carbs to create the binge urge again.
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Old 08-01-2013, 07:31 AM   #17
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I have not bingedin years and it was out of control prior to lc. I cannot have fruit. Totally sets me off. I would be careful about vegetables too. My last binge was on green beans!
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Old 08-01-2013, 08:06 AM   #18
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Old 08-01-2013, 08:18 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by formyhealth View Post
Hi Everyone,

I am a lurker but joined up to answer this question. I struggled with infrequent, but persistant binging since high school. Years ago a therapist suggested I read a book called "Overcoming Overeating". The book presents some ideas that absolutely don't work for me but one idea that has changed my life is a technique to get rid of binging that absolutely does work for me. It sounds crazy but for me, it works.

You go to the store and proudly buy huge portions of all of your favorite binge food (for me oreos, cereal and ice cream) like I would buy at least 2 packs of Oreos and two different types of cereal and two gallons of ice cream, just huge amounts that you couldn't possibly eat in a day. Then you give yourself permission to eat, changing any negative thoughts about what you are doing to "I give myself permission to eat this food, I am glad that I know a way to comfort myself and that I have the means to do it. Making this choice doesn't mean that I will always make this choice but what I'm doing is absolutely a valid way to comfort myself" or some kind of similar self talk that validates and up lifts you. Then you go ahead and binge, making sure you say the positive things.

What I have found is that while I may go all out on day 1, by day 3 I am tired of those foods and no longer feel the urge to binge. I have repeated this three times in six years and it has been effective each time at stopping a binge. Probably much more effective since I actually read the book and I'm sure I'm not doing the technique much justice.

The first time I tried it I cannot express how wierd it felt to be doing the exact thing I wanted to stop doing but somehow like I said, by day 3 I was just like "Ugh, no more Oreos!" And I was ready to move on to another way of eating.

Good Luck
I was a terrible binger, too, and unfortunately, this book changed my life for the worse. Giving myself permission to have a binge and bring those foods into my house was the catalyst for a large weight gain that took me up to 230 pounds. I wasn't able to discipline myself to use the tools it suggested, although they made sense. I'm sure it can be very helpful to some people who have the right mental attitude, but it was a disaster for me.

I started low carbing almost twelve years ago and stopped binging almost immediately. My cravings for large amounts of sugar went away, and as I educated myself more and more on WHY I needed to do this (for my health), the less I wanted to go back to my old ways.

That said, I have been maintaining with JUDDD for a year and a half, and while I do eat some sugar and junk on my up days now, I have the ability to stop eating when I have had my calorie limit. For ME, the combo of long-term low carbing and education has given me the ability to utilize JUDDD for long-term maintenance. I'm very, very happy now.
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Old 08-01-2013, 08:55 AM   #20
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Omg! I I went out and bought all my favorite binge foods, it would be such a disaster. I do the opposite. I stay away from trigger foods and eating those foods is not allowed.
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Old 08-01-2013, 09:17 AM   #21
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I kind of get what the author is trying to achieve, if I allow myself binge foods I will eventually tire of them and crave healthy food, but breaking away from the residual cravings is not easy and giving in to the binges only reinforces the pattern.
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Old 08-01-2013, 09:27 AM   #22
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If I were you, I wouldn't buy yogurt, honey, or nuts and I wouldn't allow others to bring them in the house.

Also, I personally didn't do well on JUDDD, even though it works for many. JUDDD triggered the worst binges in me. I don't know if it was the deprivation days or the higher level of carbs I was allowing myself and which were not right for my body, or both.......My suggestion would be, as banal as it sounds, to carb detox, stay at induction level carbs for a while, and up your fat levels. Also, keep a food journal to see exactly what goes into your body. See how it works for you.
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Old 08-01-2013, 09:37 AM   #23
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Originally Posted by suzanneyea View Post
Omg! I I went out and bought all my favorite binge foods, it would be such a disaster. I do the opposite. I stay away from trigger foods and eating those foods is not allowed.
Me too! Abstinence is the only way for me to succeed.
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Old 08-01-2013, 09:59 AM   #24
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I also believe that abstinence is the only way for me. I have been stuffing myself with binge foods for 2 days and while this is making me sick and full beyond belief, this horrible feeling will be erased from my memory by tomorrow and will not prevent me form another binge. I know that for a fact.

I just have to go cold turkey and stop the carbs.

I binged this morning but threw what ever I had left in the garbage and will not be buying it anymore. I am sick and tired of this!!!!! I am ready to get rid of this binging monster once and for all!!!
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Old 08-01-2013, 10:02 AM   #25
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I strongly strongly suggest you stop eating fruit at least until you get your binging under control.
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Old 08-01-2013, 11:39 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by tobelowcarber View Post

I binged this morning but threw what ever I had left in the garbage and will not be buying it anymore. I am sick and tired of this!!!!! I am ready to get rid of this binging monster once and for all!!!
Yes! Clean house and get serious, get pissed off! Say enough is enough!! This addiction robs us of so many things. Fight back. Fight like your life depends on it.
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Old 08-01-2013, 12:26 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by theredhead View Post
I was a terrible binger, too, and unfortunately, this book changed my life for the worse. Giving myself permission to have a binge and bring those foods into my house was the catalyst for a large weight gain that took me up to 230 pounds. I wasn't able to discipline myself to use the tools it suggested, although they made sense. I'm sure it can be very helpful to some people who have the right mental attitude, but it was a disaster for me.

I started low carbing almost twelve years ago and stopped binging almost immediately. My cravings for large amounts of sugar went away, and as I educated myself more and more on WHY I needed to do this (for my health), the less I wanted to go back to my old ways.

That said, I have been maintaining with JUDDD for a year and a half, and while I do eat some sugar and junk on my up days now, I have the ability to stop eating when I have had my calorie limit. For ME, the combo of long-term low carbing and education has given me the ability to utilize JUDDD for long-term maintenance. I'm very, very happy now.
Wow! I'm sorry to hear you had such a bad experience. Just proof that everything is not for everybody. I've already learned a lot through this thread. I had no idea vitamins/minerals were effective at stopping binges. They do nothing like that for me.

Low carbing is quite effective at helping me keep my eating under control, but all out binging is something I can only curb using what I described higher up in the thread. Oreos and cereal are completely unacceptable foods and I have low carb ice cream bars every now and then just before bed. They don't seem to set me off if I'm in ketosis.

Best of luck, OP
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Old 08-01-2013, 04:18 PM   #28
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Not much to add, except I didn't do well with JUDD. I'm better off just staying away from sugar and grains.

Best of luck tobelowcarber, keep us posted.

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Old 08-01-2013, 04:40 PM   #29
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IT's all well and good to clean house, but I could not do it on willpower alone.

I urge you to research supplements that can help.
I firmly believe that this problem is an insulin resistance thing, not a willpower thing.

Julia Ross' The Diet Cure is an excellent resource. It's complicated, but if you just read the chapters that apply to you, you can get help for the compulsion. I want to shout it from the rooftops-- it can be done, because I've done it.

I wish everyone struggling with this the best, and please please don't feel badly about yourself--it isn't a character flaw or a moral issue. It's a glitch in how the body is working. It is very possible that the troubles stem from a nutritional deficiency.
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Old 08-01-2013, 08:34 PM   #30
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I tell you what, I didn't get to 364 by snacking on chicken toes and belly button lint. I ingested massive quantities of food ala binging... Full-on, cray cray food ingesting moments that spanned for years.

I can only speak for me, but Dr. Julia Ross' book The Diet Cure was the major player in my recovery. Through her use of reasonably-priced amino acids and supplements available in most stores, she righted the wrongs wrought from years of ingesting grasses/grains and damaging my blood/brain barrier.

But most importantly? The binging (for me) ceased with the use of aminos. The skeptic in me still punches myself in the throat for taking so long to act on her advice.

What has also helped? Nixing all foods to which I'm allergic. It really does make a difference. When I eat wheat (I'm allergic to it), I crave more wheat. When I eat snap peas, my body's like, "Hey. A snap pea. Hello snap pea. Let's hang out and be friends in a not bizarre person-snack kind of way."

I no longer molest the Little Debbie snack cakes or lament the demise of Ding Dongs. It's not who I am anymore. I'm free from that--and I'm thankful.

It's like I'm totally living in Awesomeland--and I'm the mayor. In really cool shoes.
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