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Old 07-24-2013, 09:23 AM   #1
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Someone eating "your" food

Ok. I have a problem.

Dh is lowER carb, but by no means VLC. He has two slices of bread per day, as well as chips etc.

I feel like I have limited foods I eat and look forward to. In particular, I asked him to take me to the US where Atkins bars are half the price. He did so. While I was buying them. I bought relatively few bc I didn't want a huge schwack if I was going to be using them for emergencies only and TOM. I asked him multiple times if he wanted to pick out any flavors, if he wanted more boxes, if he planned to eat some. He said no.

Fast forward to today when I had ONE box of triple chocolate. They are now gone. All of them. I had 3 earlier. He ate the last 2. I was saving them. His comment was- I only had 2. So I guess the logic is he didn't have more than his "share". I didn't know he had a share.

I hid them behind 2 boxes of his favorites, including peanut butter cups. He went behind and ate mine.

I know this is stupid and I am embarrassed at how angry and sad I feel. It's not just the cost- there is no place locally I can replenish them. My only option is to order online and wait 5 days, or go back to the US (which isn't gonna happen).

I don't want to have to hide them, and want to be supportive of his healthier eating too. But when he has 2 bowls of chips and finishes with one of my Atkins bars , I m left thinking of what a waste it was.

Please someone, give me some perspective!
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Old 07-24-2013, 09:24 AM   #2
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Just want to add we didn't eat the entire box today! Lol I ate 3 a few weeks ago.
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Old 07-24-2013, 09:50 AM   #3
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I would stick them in the freezer ! And I would be MAD too ! They are pricey and I keep one in my fridge door at all times and 1 at work ~~ I would hide them under some frozen veggies
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Old 07-24-2013, 09:59 AM   #4
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I would be mad too. When I first started low carb, I bought pork rinds for myself. My husband had potato chips and cheetos but grabbed my bag of pork rinds one day. I very firmly said no, those are mine, you have other snacks that I can't have. The next day he came home with several bags of pork rinds. I totally understand how you feel!
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Old 07-24-2013, 10:02 AM   #5
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The freezer is an excellent spot but I would take them out of the box so the bars aren't so recognizable. I would be angry too esp since you asked him in the store if he wanted any and he told you, "no".
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Old 07-24-2013, 10:02 AM   #6
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Yeah...uh...I'd order them from online and I would find a new hiding place for 'your' share and put 'his' share out in the open. When they're gone...they're gone, but at least you'll still have 'your' share.

I'm going to a family reunion this Saturday and bringing deviled eggs. They're eating at noon and I don't eat until 2 p.m. (part of keeping my BG stable is eating at the same time each day) and I know the locusts will clear the deviled eggs out in the first 5 minutes. Mainly because the parents do not monitor the children and the children will put 5 eggs on their plate and not care (and they are old enough to know better) that there are other people still to eat. Anyway, I'm taking my food, including my deviled eggs for my lunch, in a separate cooler and my mom thinks it's going to cause bad feelings. HUH?! They will already have had their share of 4 dozen eggs (that's 8 dozen deviled!).
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Old 07-24-2013, 10:13 AM   #7
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You're not crazy, first of all.

Yeah this used to happen to me all the time. I got mad a lot and explained I can only have certain things, I don't get to pick and choose, and you get all this crap, please stay out of my stuff.

I didn't say it quite that nicely and there were a lot of curse words involved, but he left my food alone.
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Old 07-24-2013, 10:20 AM   #8
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I can relate! I eat hamburgers, three times a day. There are a million things to eat in our house. But, what did he last night after soccer? My ground beef! Really? Why eat the one food that belongs to me?
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Old 07-24-2013, 10:27 AM   #9
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Thanks, guys

The freezer won't work, he makes supper half the time and notices EVERYTHING in there. But, there are a few places in my room I can store them.

I really don't "need" any but I like having a few on hand for emergencies. The 2 yo in me wants to order some cases online. Lol

I know since the flavor is new I can't get these ones local, but sometimes I can find those chocolate caramel crisp ones which are similar. I'll just have to get an overpriced box here.. And forget to put them in the pantry
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Old 07-24-2013, 10:52 AM   #10
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I would be mad too, so don't feel guilty about your feelins. I now hide anything that is strictly mine.
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Old 07-24-2013, 11:01 AM   #11
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It's ok to feel mad, I would too

However, I don't think hiding them is the right course of action, TALK to him instead! You shouldn't have to hide things from your husband, you should be able to discuss it and he should be able to understand that they aren't for him (unless he really wants to eat them, in which case he should buy more, and enough for the both of you).
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Old 07-24-2013, 11:24 AM   #12
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Of course you should talk to him/make your frustrations known, as part of a healthy relationship. but if his default reasoning of "i only had 2!" is as ingrained as it is for the guys in my life, then also: better hiding! once you take them out of the box, they are easy to stash anywhere...like, say...

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Old 07-24-2013, 11:36 AM   #13
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Haha...this made me laugh.
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Old 07-24-2013, 11:38 AM   #14
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The only reason I get annoyed at DH over it is because I know he's not going to like whatever-it-is and will take 1 bite then throw it away.
I put my foot down and told him "If you open it, you eat it ALL" and that's put an end to a lot of it
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Old 07-24-2013, 12:07 PM   #15
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Please don't think you are alone! Mine doesn't bother my bars...it's my 'real' food that he digs into. I can have breaded okra for him and unbreaded for me..he's gonna want the unbreaded..but he tells me before I cook that he wants his breaded. I can have peas and string beans..he gonna want the string beans..any other time he wants peas. Ughhh. Making me angry just thinking about it ! lol
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Old 07-24-2013, 12:47 PM   #16
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Yep...all this is my life! My kids and husband will eat everything that I have for me and leave the higher carb stuff UNLESS all I make is low-carb stuff, in which case they look around all dejectedly like, "Oh wow, this is all you made?" You have talked to him and asked him! I'd get some and hide, hide, HIDE it! I love the female packaging plan! I personally hide a lot of my items in the freezer in other bags of stuff (like I hide my sf fudge pops from my kids by putting them in a bag of frozen veggies). I let them have some, just not all! I'm all about the hiding - and if it doesn't need refrigeration I'll put it in my room somewhere, too. All is fair in love and low-carb!
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Old 07-24-2013, 12:56 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by llisarray View Post
Please don't think you are alone! Mine doesn't bother my bars...it's my 'real' food that he digs into. I can have breaded okra for him and unbreaded for me..he's gonna want the unbreaded..but he tells me before I cook that he wants his breaded. I can have peas and string beans..he gonna want the string beans..any other time he wants peas. Ughhh. Making me angry just thinking about it ! lol
That's when you ONLY buy healthy next time. When he wonders aloud where his breaded crap and starchy veg is I would say Youve been preferring the green beans ( or whatever) so I decided to get extra and just roast them! No sense buying that starchy corn if no ones going to eat it!
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Old 07-24-2013, 01:23 PM   #18
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Am I the only one here that thinks it's absolutely ridiculous that you have to hide your specialty food? He's an adult! Tell him it's not his and he should be able to control himself! I understand how it can happen once or twice (because it has happened to me with the people I live with) but all you should have to do is tell him! If one of my roommates told me not to eat a specific food I would never touch it, no matter how hungry I was. Off limits is off limits. Maybe that's just me

Last edited by evas; 07-24-2013 at 01:24 PM..
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Old 07-24-2013, 01:33 PM   #19
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Well, a roommate is different. I would tell them hands off.
But with hub, idk I guess I don't want to turn it into a Big Deal.
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Old 07-24-2013, 01:35 PM   #20
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The real kicker is that both the other kinds still have one or more left. He has done this before. Almost like he goes for the one I am enjoying because he doesn't want to miss out and them be all gone.
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Old 07-24-2013, 01:39 PM   #21
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I can totally understand. I would be angry too! You shouldn't HAVE to hide them, but I would. And I have. :-). Put them in a tampon box. Lol or in a box in the freezer marked "Liver".
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Old 07-24-2013, 04:10 PM   #22
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Hiding is easier than talking about. I always go the path of least resistance :-)
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Old 07-24-2013, 04:18 PM   #23
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Out of sight, out of mind is the name of the game with my DH. So I hide stuff around and I don't feel bad about it. He doesn't LC, so he has many more options that I do.

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Old 07-24-2013, 04:20 PM   #24
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I would only be angry if I specifically told my wife not to eat "my" food, and in no uncertain terms.
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Old 07-24-2013, 05:06 PM   #25
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It's just food. I don't own anything in this house, and neither does my husband. We share EVERYTHING. A silly diet candy bar is not worth sinning against my God and husband - which is what anger is. That's my perspective, and usually works me out of the huff I've gotten myself into when things like this happen in our house

Our solution is that something hits the grocery list as soon as the last package is opened or the quantity is half gone, whichever is more logical. That way we have several days of warning that the item is running low and time to appropriately plan our shopping so we don't completely run out. That, and a chill pill (figuratively speaking) have managed 90% or so of the food issues we might have. When something is usually consumed by me (a chicken) or my husband (rice, Rockstars, etc) and for some reason the other spouse wants some, we're pretty good about asking one another first. Just a quick iMessage or something similar. That way it isn't a surprise.

As with all things in marriage, more communication is better in the realm of food
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Old 07-24-2013, 05:06 PM   #26
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I know exactly what you mean and I know it makes you angry, that's why sometimes I deal with adults the way I would deal with children. You know if you ask a kid in the store they will say "No I don't want any, really I don't." Then get home and suddenly that's the very thing they can't live without. Next time just buy them as if he's going to eat some because you know he's gonna want some. That's how it is living with other people, it's almost impossible to have something that someone else won't eat. Period. That goes for kids, husbands, cousins, siblings, in-laws you name it. But I know what you mean and I know why it upset you.
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Old 07-24-2013, 05:09 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arctic_Mama View Post
It's just food. I don't own anything in this house, and neither does my husband. We share EVERYTHING. A silly diet candy bar is not worth sinning against my God and husband - which is what anger is. That's my perspective, and usually works me out of the huff I've gotten myself into when things like this happen in our house

Our solution is that something hits the grocery list as soon as the last package is opened or the quantity is half gone, whichever is more logical. That way we have several days of warning that the item is running low and time to appropriately plan our shopping so we don't completely run out. That, and a chill pill (figuratively speaking) have managed 90% or so of the food issues we might have. When something is usually consumed by me (a chicken) or my husband (rice, Rockstars, etc) and for some reason the other spouse wants some, we're pretty good about asking one another first. Just a quick iMessage or something similar. That way it isn't a surprise.

As with all things in marriage, more communication is better in the realm of food
Yeah I've given up on the idea of some food being mine only, it causes too much anger and frustration and getting yourself worked up over nothing. It's just easier to buy enough for everyone and then if no one eats any it's a nice bonus.
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Old 07-24-2013, 05:15 PM   #28
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I do think a lot of the "my food" and "hiding food" comes from childhood behaviors where we knew we weren't supposed to eat something and we did it anyway
My DH was the youngest of 3 kids and he knew that, if he didn't eat it quickly, the older 2 would have it. Especially "treats".
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Old 07-24-2013, 06:13 PM   #29
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I don't have this problem because everyone eats the way I do...and I don't do the low carb goodies. Then again, my son will fight me over the last brussel sprout or asparagus.
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Old 07-24-2013, 06:57 PM   #30
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One time my husband ate my last chocolate/coconut Atkins bar that I was REALLY craving a sweet and I almost cried.....
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