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Old 07-22-2013, 11:19 PM   #31
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Old 07-23-2013, 02:53 AM   #32
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If she doesn't want to give up bread, try to get some Alvarado Street Bakery Flax bread. Non-GMO, 13 net carbs for 2 pieces. I just checked their site and it looks like they ship all over the U.S. Their plant is in the town next to me (used to be in my town but they moved to a larger plant about 5-6 years ago or so). Trader Joes has it for less than any other store if you have TJ's.
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Old 07-23-2013, 03:12 AM   #33
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Or, make some of Buttoni's foccacia that's in the recipe and help section and use that for a sandwich.
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Old 07-23-2013, 05:54 AM   #34
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When I made the meatloaf tonight she gave me a hard time. She told me to make my part of the meatloaf low carb, but leave everybody else' part alone..... Meaning she wanted her bread crumbs binder, I guess.

The longer I stay on plan the less she seems tolerant of my WOE.

I do 95% of all the cooking for my family, and I am making some dishes we had never eaten before LC.... Plus, even though she hasn't actually complained yet, I think I am about to hear about the higher cost of eating LC.
If anybody in my house complained about the way I cooked something, I'd calmly go to the cupboard and grab a jar of peanut butter and some bread and stick it in front of them.

When she gets to the higher cost of eating, I would explain to her that the higher cost of the medical insurance and bills will far outstrip the cost of the food if you don't get your weight under control.

You have my sympathies. I know for a fact that I could not have reached my goal if my husband had not supported me. He outright asked, "How can I help you be healthier?" and then did what I asked (which was to eliminate everything I couldn't eat from our home).
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Old 07-23-2013, 06:27 AM   #35
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Old 07-23-2013, 07:36 AM   #36
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"partial commitment" is an odd term, yet I completely understand it.
She is demonstrating an awareness of high carb dangers, but is not yet ready to give up the foods she loves....I don't think that makes her unique.
Sad to see that she's ok giving up vegetables so as to keep her pasta.
My wife loves milk chocolate and salty snacks. She eats like a teenager, but is neither obese nor are her blood pressure and lipid levels in the danger zone.
So, it's not for me to say what is good for her.
If you stay the course, the time may come when she chooses to change her woe as a lifestyle change. If not, then I say let it be.
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Old 07-23-2013, 08:11 AM   #37
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I wouldn't say anything but, "Great Honey!"

I am of the opinion that cutting back any carbs is a good idea. Wheat carbs are the worst, but that is her call not yours. Maybe she is warming up to the idea and this is her step one.
^^This!

And I would be careful about talking up the low carb woe and how you have adjusted recipes to fit your woe. Adults need to feel in control of their food even if someone else is cooking it. I would suggest offering to replace the bread crumbs (for instance) with something of her choice and not comment further.
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Old 07-23-2013, 08:43 AM   #38
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I would LOVE to support her, but I don't feel like I can if she is only making a partial commitment.
Yes, you should be supportive of your wife. (What exactly would being "not supportive" entail?)
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Old 07-23-2013, 09:20 AM   #39
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My husband has zero interest in low carb. I never once pushed him. I have told him he is on his own if he gets sickly due to his diet. I am not wasting my golden years caring for a person who brought it on himself. I want to travel and be active.
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Old 07-23-2013, 11:04 AM   #40
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The Eades say (or used to say via Protein Power) that saturated fat is only harmful when eaten with a high carb diet. I think it has to do with a couple of hormones, insulin among them, that when raised with a high carb diet, allow plaque to form readily on the arterial wall.
I don't think it's good to eat a HCHF diet.

That said, how many is too many? Who knows? Prob somewhere between 50-100. I'm just pulling that last part out of my butt. Idk.

Dw doesn't want your advice. I used to think I couldn't live without wheat either . That was the wheat addiction talking. Let yourself hopefully inspire her when she's ready, if you push, she will be resentful & feel judged.

I just use eggs for binder in my meatballs and it works beautifully.
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Old 07-23-2013, 04:33 PM   #41
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Be supportive of her because she wants to try....but do not add extra fat to her foods as you do to yours, imo I think that would just amount to weight gain. Maybe she could research south beach as opposed to traditional low carb, as it incorporates more grains and nuts.
Good luck as my husband still doesn't get why it works but he lets me be as I have lost weight and am not hungry and cranky all the time.
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Old 07-23-2013, 04:38 PM   #42
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She doesn't have to give up bread or pasta, just make them a lesser part of the meal.
Instead of a big pasta dish, add a little cooked pasta to a salad or something. Or toss an ounce of cooked pasta with zucchini ribbons and sauce instead of all pasta.
There are ways to compromise and have the best of both worlds (though she'll need to be more cautious about adding fats than a "pure" low-carber would).
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Old 07-23-2013, 05:01 PM   #43
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"The longer I stay on plan the less she seems tolerant of my WOE. "

One other thing, she may be a little threatened by you losing so much weight. This can be a scary time for some spouses. It is nor unusual for a spouse to sabotage weight lose when their insecurities take over. This can really upset a marriage. It will take love, and communication from you to help her. This is a huge change for her too.
Possibly, but just the change in eating habits is a change to the family dynamic that has nothing to do with insecurity.

When I started getting my health in order there were a lot of changes. We stopped doing things that centered around food, like festivals. We stopped eating out several times a week. We stopped going to the movies as much. We stopped ordering pizza on Friday night as often. We stopped having giant Sunday morning pancake breakfasts followed by naps. Yes, I could do any and all of those things even being low carb, but it just wasn't as fun anymore.

Fortunately my husband "followed" me into the LC world soon after and was on board with all the changes.
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Old 07-23-2013, 05:19 PM   #44
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Garlic, forgive me if I'm missing something, but I have not seen you say whether or not she is somewhat interested in making a change to lose weight. Is she overweight or just expressing interest in cutting back on certain types of carbs?
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Old 07-23-2013, 06:54 PM   #45
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You might like to get the book 'Nourishing Traditions'. It is based on Weston Price's work, and while not low-carb, it has some information on how to make grains easier on the body( soaking, etc.). If she's not going to give them up, maybe she would be willing to at least make them as wholesome as possible.

I think that if she were giving up higher GI fruits and veg in preference to giving up grains it would be the wrong choice, but people will only do what they will do. Be the best example you can, and DON'T NAG. Hopefully she will come around.
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Old 07-23-2013, 08:55 PM   #46
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Garlic, forgive me if I'm missing something, but I have not seen you say whether or not she is somewhat interested in making a change to lose weight. Is she overweight or just expressing interest in cutting back on certain types of carbs?
Sorry, all about weight loss.
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Old 07-23-2013, 08:57 PM   #47
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You might like to get the book 'Nourishing Traditions'. It is based on Weston Price's work, and while not low-carb, it has some information on how to make grains easier on the body( soaking, etc.). If she's not going to give them up, maybe she would be willing to at least make them as wholesome as possible.

I think that if she were giving up higher GI fruits and veg in preference to giving up grains it would be the wrong choice, but people will only do what they will do. Be the best example you can, and DON'T NAG. Hopefully she will come around.
As I have said, I don't care if she wants to do it or not. That is on her, and she came to me.... I just think it is bad to do it halfway. All in or not in at all is the way I see it. Don't have any idea why you felt to write NAG, as if I was doing that.
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Old 07-23-2013, 08:58 PM   #48
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Its extremely difficult when some of the family members aren't interested in the low carb way. Its quite the balancing act between serving foods that are healthy and still are family favorites. I can't even remember the last time I made a potato of any kind.

I have to admit, I'm gulty of making "two meals".
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Old 07-23-2013, 09:38 PM   #49
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Well, if she lowers her carbs and doesn't add fat, she'll be eating less calories in general by subbing lower carb volume for high carb volume. that's in essence low calorie.

She can eat less pasta, as Dottie mentioned, and she can try Dreamfields pasta instead, and she can try lower carb breads if it's the simple types like sandwich, buns and english muffins. Healthy life has these common breads that taste just like normal bread but with less carbs, no fructose or sugar added and more fiber.

If she wants to lose weight, she can eat less of everything and just be low calorie.
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:10 PM   #50
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Garlic, you've read all the good stuff and you know the answers. Put it to her straight. Give her the facts and explain the science. No, she cannot have pasta and bread if she has metabolic syndrome and wants to lose weight. The other option is to go on a starvation diet and go into starvation ketosis, which is very bad for many reasons, but it will help her lose weight for sure. So, the healthy way is high fat/low carb, unhealthy way is starvation. I find that once someone comes to you with questions like that, they are on their way to doing it. A lot of people can lose weight just by dropping the soda and high sugar items, but a lot of people cannot without quitting entirely because of their level of insulin resistance. Again, since she came to you, she's ready for the tough answers, even though she may say she can't do it or won't try. She'll come around.
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:12 PM   #51
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Halfway is better than nothing, in my opinion. I've fed my family in a lower carb/better carb way of eating for a long time, and have eaten so myself... I guess kind of like eating in phase 3 of South Beach, or maintenance. It's better to eat less of the carby stuff anyway.
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Old 07-24-2013, 01:15 PM   #52
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I agree with Gordita - "halfway is better than nothing." It might not seem acceptable to you because it sounds like you're trying to go truly low carb, but different people need and want different things, and you can't force her to eat a certain way if she's not willing to do it. Whether she's doing it "right" or "wrong" isn't really your call, it is her personal opinion and her personal choice.

Also, if she doesn't like the way you cook than perhaps she should be cooking her own meal and vice versa. Yes, it's simpler to cook one meal for you both but if it's going to cause problems between the two of you then it's not really making your life easier, it's making it harder.
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Old 07-25-2013, 02:15 AM   #53
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Garlic,,
I live in a family of 4 people. I am the only one low carbing. I have learned to sneak the low carb in when they are not paying attention. I have used real butter, and olive oil in their foods. They didn't notice a difference. If they had seen me use it, they would have pitched a fit. Which one of mine loads his food down with black pepper anyway. I'm not real sure he actually tastes anything, but the others never tell a difference. My point here is to fix her food low carb, in a way in which she can't tell.
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Old 07-25-2013, 07:13 AM   #54
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Halfway is better than nothing, in my opinion. I've fed my family in a lower carb/better carb way of eating for a long time, and have eaten so myself... I guess kind of like eating in phase 3 of South Beach, or maintenance. It's better to eat less of the carby stuff anyway.
At least half way is a little further along than she would be if not doing anything!
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Old 07-25-2013, 07:55 AM   #55
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I'm not sure if it is a good thing. Depends on how she's going to eat. What's she wants to do is give up veggies and fruits, the things she doesn't care about. Now, if she were to cut out HALF of the bread, or switch to low carb bread, that would be okay. She wants to give up nothing and still lose weight. She is not ready yet, but I feel that she is jealous that you are and are committed. It's hard to get to that place. Haven't we all been there? Creating road blocks? My Mom was there for years. I would tell her she needs to MOVE to help her keep her weight steady. "Exercise won't help" she tells me. *sigh* Now she walks everyday and tells me how "without walking, her weight would skyrocket!". Huh? Didn't I say that? But until she was ready and it became HER idea, she wasn't having any of it.
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Old 07-25-2013, 08:00 AM   #56
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I'm not sure if it is a good thing. Depends on how she's going to eat. What's she wants to do is give up veggies and fruits, the things she doesn't care about. Now, if she were to cut out HALF of the bread, or switch to low carb bread, that would be okay. She wants to give up nothing and still lose weight. She is not ready yet, but I feel that she is jealous that you are and are committed. It's hard to get to that place. Haven't we all been there? Creating road blocks? My Mom was there for years. I would tell her she needs to MOVE to help her keep her weight steady. "Exercise won't help" she tells me. *sigh* Now she walks everyday and tells me how "without walking, her weight would skyrocket!". Huh? Didn't I say that? But until she was ready and it became HER idea, she wasn't having any of it.
The bolded statement is so true ....people told me aboutthe evils of sugar for years but I had to find the one thing that gave me that light bulb moment and made it my own idea.
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Old 07-25-2013, 08:10 AM   #57
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Hi Garlic

it is not bad to do it halfway. any big carbs cut down in a standard diet is a good thing but she isn't ready.

she came to you BECAUSE you are changing. do things differently. she is curious and then says something like, --well I want to cut down carbs also. half baked really. kinda trying to fit in wtih you.

hubby hunts. I hate hunting. I ask about his hunting all the time. told him I would maybe love to learn to duck hunt (and eat those suckers ) but I really am not interested in it. I just say it to join him in his hobby. Then HE gets excited like I will hunt with him and then if he asks about it again I just say, nah, not interested. I can drive him nutso with that and sounds like your wife is kinda doing that to you with carbs LOL

so take what she says half to heart. it isn't a full commitment by any means to her. she is just joining you in what you are doing and saying things. but hey, if she cuts some carbs down that is a good thing. and slowly she might change more and more.


favorite foods. it is hard to see someone change a good you love to eat and mess it up with flax meal etc I make 2 meatloafs. hubby loves his loaded with ketchup and crumbs and I make mine with my spices and lc. meatloaf is simple to use 2 pans and bake.


engage her a bit different. maybe a hand holding romantic walk in the evening and stroll and laugh and have fun and don't talk one word about carbs. get her moving and into activity that might move her to think more about what goes in her mouth.

cutting entire food groups out is hard unless you make that diehard commitment and join the lc way. so she isn't there yet but is interested a bit in your changes.

roll with the punches
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Old 07-25-2013, 09:26 AM   #58
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If she wants to cut carbs to lose weight but isn't willing to give up her bread, then she is not ready.

I can not say I am low carb (I eat potatoes. *gasp*!). Other than that, it is fairly low carb. I have tried, with mixed results, to "cut back" on eating bread and bread products. But until I committed to losing weight and realized that eating those products made me feel bloated and icky, was I able to eliminate them completely.

It's very freeing to not let the food have control over you.
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Old 07-25-2013, 06:47 PM   #59
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Ready for What? The Label is not the thing, and people can eat healthier without any particular diet's name on it. So what if it's not real "low carb" . If Mrs. Garlic wants to cut down on carbs there is no rule that says we can't help her to do that without slapping a label on her or telling her "no you cannot cut down on carbs because you aren't ready". Small steps lead to small changes, Any change leads to change. No change leads to nothing. If she wants to make a small change, there is no need to tell her it's all or nothing or she might just choose nothing at all.

If she's doing it to be part of the in group then it's okay to humor her. Only she knows why she really asked about cutting back on carbs, and all you can really do is point her in the right direction and let her go. Cook dinner , if she doesn't like it, then a gentle reminder that this is the direction she asked to go and she can choose to go that way or retreat or go a different path.

I think Labels are one of the destroyers of compliance sometimes. I know a dude who thought he wanted to try "low carb" but then read somewhere on line that low carb was BS unhealthy diet, so now he avoids anything called low carb. But then he discovered "Paleo", or what he thinks is a good diet. He doesn't realize that it's not the label but the lifestyle. He's eating low carb but is offended by the label "low carb". So, I don't talk to him about Low carb, but I do share recipes and tips, that just happen to be low carb, and good tasting and he has his lifestyle that he thinks he wants.
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Old 07-25-2013, 06:55 PM   #60
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I agree.
Not everyone processes the same way.
Not everyone can do the "all or nothing" way, some people do better taking it small steps at a time.
Support should be the #1 thing, not the label.
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