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Old 07-12-2013, 07:09 PM   #1
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Not sure where to start...

Hi Everyone,

I could really use some advice, I'm feeling a bit discouraged and depressed. I've been trying to stick to a low carb way of eating but fail within a couple days and revert back to binge eating. In a previous post I mentioned that my mom passed away unexpectedly 3 weeks ago and ever since I've been falling into a deep depression. My anxiety is through the roof and the only thing that calms me is food. I just want to sleep and eat massive amounts of food.

I could really kick myself too, I lost over 100lbs with Weight Watchers and have gained a little over half of what I lost back. I KNOW a low carb diet works for ME, I had success on Atkins years ago. Unfortunately Weight Watchers or actually my leader has me terrified of eating a high fat diet. While I really enjoyed my weekly meetings, I realized I was wasting money. After all, Weight Watchers is a business and they need to make money in order to stay afloat. I've even heard a few people say it's a complete scam.

I'm not sure if I should choose a plan OR just do my own thing. I don't want to count anymore, it only makes my OCD worse. I want to be able to eat unlimited non-starchy vegetables without worrying whether or not I'm going to gain weight. Have any of you had luck not counting but sticking to the basic guidelines of eating fat, protein, and carbohydrate in the form of non-starchy vegetables?

Thanks so much in advance for all replies!
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Old 07-12-2013, 07:17 PM   #2
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I'm sorry for your loss. I lost a family member unexpectedly a few years ago, so I understand. Unfortunately, I gained a lot of weight afterwards.

You need to take care of yourself now, in every way. Sleep, find ways to enjoy yourself that don't involve food, talk to someone who can listen. Do what helps you. I found a few books that were helpful to me.

You can take control of your eating. If not now, then when you're through the worst of your grief. But you need to keep that goal in mind. I wish you all the best.
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Old 07-12-2013, 07:20 PM   #3
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I see that I didn't really answer your question! I have better weight loss when I track all my carbs, but I have been able to lose, although more slowly, just by limiting the types of foods I eat.

I don't know anything about weight watchers, but they are a business as you said, and want to keep people coming back. They're unlikely to encourage you to do something different. You shouldn't be afraid of eating fat. Do some reading on low carb. It will reassure you. There's good science behind this.
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Old 07-12-2013, 07:47 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hockeymom48183 View Post
Hi Everyone,

I could really use some advice, I'm feeling a bit discouraged and depressed. I've been trying to stick to a low carb way of eating but fail within a couple days and revert back to binge eating. In a previous post I mentioned that my mom passed away unexpectedly 3 weeks ago and ever since I've been falling into a deep depression. My anxiety is through the roof and the only thing that calms me is food. I just want to sleep and eat massive amounts of food.

I could really kick myself too, I lost over 100lbs with Weight Watchers and have gained a little over half of what I lost back. I KNOW a low carb diet works for ME, I had success on Atkins years ago. Unfortunately Weight Watchers or actually my leader has me terrified of eating a high fat diet. While I really enjoyed my weekly meetings, I realized I was wasting money. After all, Weight Watchers is a business and they need to make money in order to stay afloat. I've even heard a few people say it's a complete scam.

I'm not sure if I should choose a plan OR just do my own thing. I don't want to count anymore, it only makes my OCD worse. I want to be able to eat unlimited non-starchy vegetables without worrying whether or not I'm going to gain weight. Have any of you had luck not counting but sticking to the basic guidelines of eating fat, protein, and carbohydrate in the form of non-starchy vegetables?

Thanks so much in advance for all replies!
to you and so sorry for your loss. Give yourself a break right now. Trying to do anything right now is going to seem like a big mountain to climb. Be mindful of what you are eating, but don't stress about it. Stressing about food on top of everything else is only going to make you eat more, this I know for a fact.

I am having luck using the basic guidelines of eating the right percentages of fat, protein and carbs. You can find some good answers on this thread I started about it: Fat/Protein Numbers

Hope that thread may help and please take care of yourself.....
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Old 07-12-2013, 09:27 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hockeymom48183 View Post
Hi Everyone,

I could really use some advice, I'm feeling a bit discouraged and depressed. I've been trying to stick to a low carb way of eating but fail within a couple days and revert back to binge eating. In a previous post I mentioned that my mom passed away unexpectedly 3 weeks ago and ever since I've been falling into a deep depression. My anxiety is through the roof and the only thing that calms me is food. I just want to sleep and eat massive amounts of food.
Grief is pervasive. An unexpected death acts like trauma in your brain; literally hijacking it from being able to make and sustain even wanted changes.

I'm all about supporting low carb (I am, in fact, all about supporting what WORKS for individual bodies).

But I'd encourage you to make small, slow changes and allow the acute grief to process.
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Old 07-13-2013, 02:45 AM   #6
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I was very distraught after my father died. It is very hard to lose a parent you love.
I also do not track my food. I eat three meals a day. Higher fat meats, that is my trick to keeping the cravings away. Do you walk? That might help motivate you too. I love my daily walks.
Can you post a typical menu for a day?
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Old 07-13-2013, 03:29 AM   #7
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I am so sorry for your loss.

Maybe you can think of nourishing yourself with good foods as nutritional support during your grieving. I understand that you may not have the energy for counting your foods during this time of loss.

Dr Eric Westman is one of the authors of the newest Atkins books.
He has a program that needs very little counting (he says to stay under 20 g carbs). but you could eat freely of his veggie list instead.

Quote:
WHEN YOU ARE HUNGRY,
EAT YOUR CHOICE OF THE FOLLOWING FOODS:

Meat: Beef (including hamburger and steak), pork, ham (unglazed), bacon, lamb, veal, or other meats. For processed meats (sausage, pepperoni, hot dogs), check the label carbohydrate count should be about 1 gram per serving (and be organic if able and nitrate free).

Poultry: Chicken, turkey, duck, or other fowl.

Fish and Shellfish: Any fish, including tuna, salmon, catfish, bass, trout, shrimp, scallops, crab, and lobster (no farmed seafood, there are to many toxins in them).

Eggs: Whole eggs are permitted without restrictions.

You do not have to avoid the fat that comes with the above foods.
You do not have to limit quantities deliberately, but you should stop eating when you feel full.

FOODS THAT MUST BE EATEN EVERY DAY:

Salad Greens: 2 cups a day. Includes arugula, bok choy, cabbage (all varieties), chard, chives, endive, greens (all varieties, including beet, collards, mustard, and turnip), kale, lettuce (all varieties), parsley, spinach, radicchio, radishes, scallions, and watercress. (If it is a leaf, you may eat it.)

Vegetables: 1 cup (measured uncooked) a day. Includes artichokes, asparagus, broccoli, Brussels sprouts, cauliflower, celery, cucumber, eggplant, green beans (string beans), jicama, leeks, mushrooms, okra, onions, pepper pumpkin, shallots, snow peas, sprouts (bean and alfalfa) sugar snap peas, summer squash, tomatoes, rhubarb, wax beans, zucchini.

Bouillon: 2 cups daily—as needed for sodium replenishment. Clear broth (consommé) is strongly recommended, unless you are on a sodium-restricted diet for hypertension or heart failure.

FOODS ALLOWED IN LIMITED QUANTITIES:

Cheese: up to 4 ounces a day. Includes hard, aged cheeses such as Swiss and Cheddar, as well as Brie, Camembert blue, mozzarella, Gruyere, cream cheese, goat cheeses. Avoid processed cheeses, such as Velveeta. Check the label; carbohydrate count should be less than 1 gram per serving.

Cream: up to 4 tablespoonfuls a day. Includes heavy, light, or sour cream (not half and half).

Mayonnaise: up to 4 tablespoons a day. Duke's and Hellmann's are low-carb. Check the labels of other brands.

Olives (Black or Green): up to 6 a day. Avocado: up to 1/2 of a fruit a day.

Lemon/Lime Juice: up to 4 teaspoonfuls a day.

Soy Sauces: up to 4 tablespoons a day. Kikkoman is a low carb brand. Check the labels of other brands.

Pickles, Dill or Sugar-Free: up to 2 a servings a day. Mt. Olive makes sugar-free pickles. Check the labels for carbohydrates and serving size.

Snacks: Pork rinds/skins; pepperoni slices; ham, beef, turkey, and other meat roll-ups; deviled eggs.
There's more, but that's the jist of it.
Dr. Westman speaks about No Sugar No Starch
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Old 07-13-2013, 03:48 AM   #8
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So sorry for your loss. Grief is tough and certainly impacts us all differently. My mom died at age 53 of a heart attack. She was very overweight. My grief went through all the normal stages of denial, anger and then finally acceptance (took me about 10 years to come to terms with it but I still miss her every day). I now use her death as one of my primary reminders that my old eating habits would eventually kill me. I turned 40 last December and started this WOE on 1 January. When I am feeling weak, I think of my mom and what she would want me to do. I also look to my beautiful boys for motivation since I want to be there for them for a long time. Use whatever motivates you!

I don't count carbs or calories, but I do limit my portions. My vegetable consumption tends to vary and I do make the occasional LC treat like SF cheesecake. I also keep SF chocolate on hand for when I have a terrible sweet tooth. That may have slowed down my weight loss, but it has kept me on plan.

One of the biggest helps for me is reading this forum every day and participating in the monthly induction challenge. Sharing this journey with my LC friends and having a safe place to discuss everything has made this a lot easier for me.

I hope you find what works for you! We are here for you so keep sharing!!!
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Last edited by Julie1972; 07-13-2013 at 03:50 AM..
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Old 07-13-2013, 05:22 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hockeymom48183 View Post
Hi Everyone,
My anxiety is through the roof and the only thing that calms me is food. I just want to sleep and eat massive amounts of food.

Unfortunately Weight Watchers or actually my leader has me terrified of eating a high fat diet. While I really enjoyed my weekly meetings, I realized I was wasting money.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I can relate to food being used as a comfort. At some point you'll need to deal with this, but in the meantime...go for it. Just choose low carb choices. If you stick to the non-starchy green vegies (salad, green beans, broccoli, etc.), I'd say not to worry about the carbs because I think by the time you eat enough for those carbs to really pile up, you're gonna be living in the bathroom or stuffed. Where you might get into trouble is if you pile on the fats to those vegies as the fat will add up quickly depending on what else you're eating.

At some point, you will want to log your food in one of the online food logs so you can keep an eye on your fats, proteins and carbs just so you have somewhere to start to tweak if you stall. For now, though, keep it simple. You have enough on your plate (no pun intended) dealing with the loss of your mom.

Just a side note...eating low carb will also help with the depression from your grief. Carbs will only aggravate it.

WW and other detractors of low carb/mod-high fat are the reason I went from a slightly overweight teen to 330 pounds. I listened and *believed* what they said despite knowing that Atkins worked for me. When I gained 12 pounds my first month on WW, they belittled me in front of the entire group, saying I was a liar and closet eater. I never went back.

.
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Old 07-13-2013, 05:36 AM   #10
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You are in a place of hurt, so I agree with everyone that it will take you time to get through this. But since you posted asking where to start, I'd say just start where you are. Sounds like you like your non-starchy veggies, so go for it.

You mentioned that My anxiety is through the roof and the only thing that calms me is food. I just want to sleep and eat massive amounts of food. Not sure about you, but sometimes it is only that first bite of two of food that is comforting. Most of us here get the idea of "comfort food," but maybe for now you can just try for smaller portions. I believe sleep is healing so sleep when you can.

I agree with Aomiel that eating low carb will also help with the depression from your grief. Carbs will only aggravate it.

I am sure I am not saying anything you don't know. Sending you a hug.

Last edited by Patience; 07-13-2013 at 05:38 AM..
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Old 07-13-2013, 06:06 AM   #11
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I am so sorry for your loss. Please keep coming back to this forum for support. If you are able to make good food choices now, you will be thankful later when your grief isn't so acute that you didn't overindulge. You can have very satisfying, comforting, yet low carb food because you can include foods with fat. The warnings that many of the diet businesses give about fat are valid because they are pushing a high carb diet as well. The combination of high carb and fat is a bad thing. You can lose weight on a low carb or a low fat diet. Many of us on this site believe that it is easier to do so following low carb. You might want to look at maintaining your weight right now with healthy foods, so as not to give you additional stress. Take care of yourself.
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Old 07-13-2013, 06:59 AM   #12
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Thankyou so much for all the wonderful and uplifting replies, I truly appreciate it. This is the most difficult thing I've ever had to deal with and everything still seems so unreal at the moment. I really haven't had time to grieve because I've been so busy taking care of my mom's house, belongings, bills, etc. Everything was just thrown at me and on top of that, she didn't have any money or even a life insurance policy. My husband and I had to dip into his 401k to pay for the funeral. I have an older brother but he's been no help. He'd rather do drugs than offer any sort of assistance. All of this combined with my 3 kiddos (Summer break is tough, they constantly FIGHT!) has me stressed and wanting to eat!

I tried to be good yesterday, I even did Zumba and Kettlebell Training at the gym, THEN Mexican Food happened! I workout a lot and figured since I burned over 1,000 calories, I could eat what I wanted, HUGE MISTAKE. Today is a new day and I'm going to do my best to stay on track but keep it simple. This morning I started with coffee and added 1T Heavy Whipping Cream, 2T Butter, and 2 Splenda. Did I add too much fat? I didn't think I'd enjoy having butter in my coffee but it was awesome!
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Old 07-13-2013, 07:01 AM   #13
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Old 07-13-2013, 09:57 AM   #14
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Old 07-13-2013, 10:13 AM   #15
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I'd say don't worry about the fat right, now. You have plenty of time to adjust downward. And to jump into ongoing discussion about that hereabouts.
The fat is filling and may help you not over eat carby stuff in the short term.

Sorry to hear the bro is no help. How old are the kids? I can understand that they are overwhelmed too right now, and fighting may be how they deal with. Of course, some kids need no reason to fight, it's just what they do.

Keeping it simple sounds awesome!
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Old 07-13-2013, 10:37 AM   #16
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Linda's Low Carb Menus & Recipes - Induction Menus

Try this. I use her recipes all the time, and I don't count anything, because she has done it all for me. My snacks are nuts, chopped veggies dipped in something, meats and cheeses. She doesn't have those, but with her carb count being so low daily, it's ok if I add a few. I am sorry about your mom. I can't even fathom how I will be when that time comes in my life. But for now, Linda Sue is an easy goto to keep you less stressed about your diet. Good luck.
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Old 07-13-2013, 01:06 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by suzanneyea View Post
Read Gary taubes, Why We Get Fat.
I second this. In fact, read as much as you can on how a LC woe works. Taubes
book is a great one to start with, and it might get your mind off things, although I know grief can make it hard to focus. Still, if you take it in small portions, a chapter at a time, you'll be surprised how inspiring it is. It's not too sciencey but just skim over the parts you can't focus on. There's SO MUCH good information there, it leaves you feeling like you can't wait to eat Low carb!

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, and so suddenly, so you have the shock on top of the grief to deal with. Add to that all the work of closing down someone's life, and the kiddos out of school w/all that lack of structure, drop out brother, and it's pretty easy to see why you're feeling so overwhelmed, numb, sad, etc.

Baby steps are what's needed here, imo. Maybe buy that book and read a chapter a day. Or make a list of small things you could do for yourself, w/the goal of just doing one a day. The way these things work, imo, is they start gathering momentum via their reward, and soon you're doing a couple to several nice things for yourself, including making healthy choices in foods.

No one just pops out of this kind of grief. It's a process that must be respected. But from my experience, it does take a bit of push back on it too, in the way that signals to yourself that your life is now, worth living to the best you can, every day. And I just know that's exactly what your mom would want for you too.
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Old 07-13-2013, 01:23 PM   #18
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Sorry for your loss...
It is hard to transition from a low fat to a high fat WOE. I was really terrified. I read a lot and I had a lot of support from the members of this forum. I feel much better, I lost some weight and it has helped my anxiety.
Give it another try...It is worth it!
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Old 07-14-2013, 06:29 AM   #19
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Thanks so much for all of the wonderful replies! Surprisingly I did great yesterday! I took my kiddos out to dinner to a steakhouse and ordered a chicken ceasar salad. I did however indulge in peanuts but stayed away from the basket full of sweet bread the waitress kept refilling. I'm still focusing on keeping it simple so I didn't beat myself up over the nuts.
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Old 07-14-2013, 08:26 AM   #20
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that's great news!
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