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Old 07-08-2013, 01:22 AM   #31
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I think when parents deliberately try to sabotage us, they are feeling guilty about their own choices (you said, I think, that your mom is overweight and diabetic) and that if you say nothing and enjoy the food you are somehow acknowledging that their own choices are ok.

Some Parents somehow feel threatened by their adult children's choices when they are very different from their own--rightly or wrongly.

I would not be able to let it go, but at the same time I'd try to be gentle about it (my mom would have been the type to do this too, except only one cake as she never would have spent so much on me!).

Just remember, it's about your mom (it's ALWAYS about these moms!) and you can't win the battle. But telling her what your expectations are will put the burden on her to respect your wishes in your home.
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Old 07-08-2013, 04:56 AM   #32
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Originally Posted by Trigger828 View Post
WHY doesn't she care about her health anymore? It is a shame when people give up on health.
Poor health overall. She falls quite often, and has to wait for someone to pick her up.... either the police or me, and I live 20 minutes away by car.... she doesn't have Alzheimer's, but she says she does...... I think she is just "ready" to pass on.

BTW, she doesn't drive, as her license was taken away.... she got to my house when someone else drove her. I think that may be part of it too. She has lost here independence.
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Old 07-08-2013, 08:07 AM   #33
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Originally Posted by Bella View Post
although as I am getting older I don't care for the sentiment that at 72 we can't change.
It's not a sentiment I hold either. I said she most likely *will not* change. I believe, unless someone is mentally impaired, they have the ability to *choose* to change until the day they die. My mother drives me crazy because she's 76 years old and has been saying for 20 years that she's 'too old' to change so we'd just better accept her rude behavior. She hasn't changed and we tend to avoid her because she's so offensive. That also was her choice (even though she doesn't see it that way).
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Old 07-08-2013, 10:08 AM   #34
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Yep, you gotta want to change before you will. My sister is very difficult and only 42 and I have accepted the fact that she probably will never change, and certainly not for me. And you know, why should she, really? She's doing her best, like the rest of us are, I'm sure.

It is frustrating to have a raft of food that you can't or won't eat forced on you like that, though. But you handled it perfectly.
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Old 07-08-2013, 03:48 PM   #35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Garlic View Post
Poor health overall. She falls quite often, and has to wait for someone to pick her up.... either the police or me, and I live 20 minutes away by car.... she doesn't have Alzheimer's, but she says she does...... I think she is just "ready" to pass on.

BTW, she doesn't drive, as her license was taken away.... she got to my house when someone else drove her. I think that may be part of it too. She has lost here independence.
Lost her independence. I know that must be very hard. it would be extremely difficult for me, so I bet she is questioning many things in her life right now.

So sorry to hear of her hard times. one thing I hope for elderly is that they have an active older life. being housebound and med problems just adds a stress level the elderly don't need. I hope all works out ok for her!!!
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