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Old 07-04-2013, 07:00 AM   #1
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I'm a perfectionist

And I get so frustrated because I am not perfect at losing weight. I work really hard to become good at the things I do - school, work, I'm too organized, etc.. and I seriously struggle with the fact that I am not good at weight loss. If I can work so hard and be good at most things, why can't I get this right? Does anyone else have the same frustrations?
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Old 07-04-2013, 07:28 AM   #2
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Ive struggled with perfectionist tendencies most of my life. I hated to be labeled a perfectionist because I was only too aware of how far I was from being perfect. Well there is no such thing as perfect, and freedom, such as it is, comes from recognizing that while we are not perfect that is just fine. I relate to your impatience. No great advice. Seems recognizing this about yourself is a good thing, though. Then maybe acceptance is the next step. I am sure your post will resonate with lots of people.
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Old 07-04-2013, 07:36 AM   #3
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Yes, I have the same issue.

I learned about 251 days ago that being a perfectionist and losing weight are opposing forces. You just can't be "perfect" at weight loss.

I've decided that I'd rather be imperfect or a "failure" at weight loss but be LOSING than to be a perfectionist and fall off the wagon.

Why bother beating yourself up? Just keep calm and keto on.
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Old 07-04-2013, 08:12 AM   #4
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You can strive for perfection in your food plan, but you can't MAKE the weight come off--- the body is going to do what it 'thinks' is the right thing to do, and maybe that means holding on to weight for a while despite how perfect your plan is.

Could you change the way you set your goals? Instead of saying "I will lose 2 pounds this week" could you say, "I will make a good daily plan and follow it, and I will read and learn about nutrition, low-carbing, and how my body might react to its fuel source"?
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Old 07-04-2013, 08:23 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by emel View Post
You can strive for perfection in your food plan, but you can't MAKE the weight come off...

Could you change the way you set your goals? Instead of saying "I will lose 2 pounds this week" could you say, "I will make a good daily plan and follow it, and I will read and learn about nutrition, low-carbing, and how my body might react to its fuel source"?
and some very helpful advice there.

I listened to a talk by Layne Norton recently, and part of the title was: "Your body is smarter than you are". Our bodies think we're ludicrous for trying to squander the fat stores they've so diligently and carefully built up. We can tweak some of the processes to try and persuade them to give up some of the stores but there are tens of thousands of processes, some of which are still unknown to us, and we can only influence a few of them.

We are not input/output devices that operate in a constant environment, if we were, then weight management wouldn't be quite the task that it is. We can only control what we can and designing and following through on a good plan is part of that.
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Old 07-04-2013, 09:42 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by emel View Post
You can strive for perfection in your food plan, but you can't MAKE the weight come off--- the body is going to do what it 'thinks' is the right thing to do, and maybe that means holding on to weight for a while despite how perfect your plan is.

Could you change the way you set your goals? Instead of saying "I will lose 2 pounds this week" could you say, "I will make a good daily plan and follow it, and I will read and learn about nutrition, low-carbing, and how my body might react to its fuel source"?


Honestly, if you worship the scale you can't really be a perfectionist, IMO. A perfectionist would know that the scale is not a reflection of fat loss, and no matter what we do we cannot make the scale move by our actions.

Goals need to be achievable by our actions. Scale-based goals are not realistic. They set one up for failure & disappointment.

Goals related to what we eat and to exercise are best. All we have to do is eat the right things and do our planned workouts and we've accomplished our goals. Accomplishing those goals will lead to fat loss and that will lead to losing in he's, being smaller and looking better. The scale may or may not move but, honestly, who cares what the scale says when you look & feel great?!
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Old 07-04-2013, 09:49 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SlowSure View Post

We are not input/output devices that operate in a constant environment, if we were, then weight management wouldn't be quite the task that it is. We can only control what we can and designing and following through on a good plan is part of that.
Very good and enlightening statement
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Old 07-04-2013, 10:21 AM   #8
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Yup. I know.

I also strive for perfection in everything I do and I love total control.

and weight loss just isn't an easy thing to control or have perfection. I get frustrated also. I am with ya

I do the best I can.
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Old 07-04-2013, 02:02 PM   #9
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Yes, I understand your frustrations. In my experience, my perfectionism is the root cause of my overeating to begin with. If I couldn't eat perfectly, I might as well binge.

This is an important issue for you to be reflecting on for your long term, life long success at managing a healthy weight.

Once you can allow yourself to consider progress a success, you can stop beating yourself with the perfectionist stick. (much easier said than done)
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Old 07-04-2013, 02:09 PM   #10
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Oh sweetie I have no advice to give you but I am sending hugs your way. You can do this!!!
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Old 07-04-2013, 03:20 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by emel View Post
You can strive for perfection in your food plan, but you can't MAKE the weight come off--- the body is going to do what it 'thinks' is the right thing to do, and maybe that means holding on to weight for a while despite how perfect your plan is.

Could you change the way you set your goals? Instead of saying "I will lose 2 pounds this week" could you say, "I will make a good daily plan and follow it, and I will read and learn about nutrition, low-carbing, and how my body might react to its fuel source"?
That's what I do. I have learned that I can't will the weight away, I can only make good choices, and trust that my weight will go down long-term. And it absolutely does go down, I am losing weight, just not in the consistent and quick way that I would like.

I stopped making weight goals, and focus on only what I can control: what I put in my body.

Last edited by Ntombi; 07-04-2013 at 03:21 PM..
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Old 07-04-2013, 03:30 PM   #12
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I hear ya. I'm not really a perfectionist, but I am pretty good at everything I care about doing (home, family, career) except keeping my weight down. There is nothing else, in my control anyway (not like winning the lottery), that I have really wanted and not achieved.
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Old 07-05-2013, 05:24 AM   #13
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Remember this: never let perfect get in the way of great.
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Old 07-05-2013, 05:47 AM   #14
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Or even "good enough"
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Old 07-05-2013, 06:46 AM   #15
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It's great to see that I'm not alone in this line of thinking. I know in theory the numbers on the scale shouldn't matter but they do to all of us more than I think we'd like to admit. I know it's a process, and I know it will be never ending for me. Maybe I am successful with it in ways and just need to find a way to look at it with that spin
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Old 07-05-2013, 07:10 AM   #16
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You are successful! You're losing weight, your bathing suit is hanging off, you're doing what you need to do!

Maybe you need a dose of non-scale victories. What are you proud of lately?
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Old 07-05-2013, 02:03 PM   #17
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Last edited by SuzanneM; 07-05-2013 at 02:09 PM..
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Old 07-05-2013, 08:29 PM   #18
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Don't look at it as where you are. Think about how far you have come. Sure you aren't where you want to be, but you are a whole lot closer than you were when you started this journey.
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Old 07-06-2013, 10:24 AM   #19
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Remember this: never let perfect get in the way of great.
LOVE this!!!

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Old 07-07-2013, 12:39 PM   #20
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Focus on progress over perfection. Perfection will do more harm than good. Also I agree with getting off the scale. I'm a perfectionist too but the best thing I did was not focus on the scale. I've been at weight loss since the beginning of the year and I have no idea how much I weigh-I know myself and nothing would ever be good enough and I'd sabotage myself chasing after 'perfection'. Now, I just focus on how I feel awesome all the time, less bloated, my fitness progress an the way I look in clothes, et al. Find what woks for you
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Old 07-08-2013, 10:44 AM   #21
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Separate from the 'mental' aspect of trying to do dieting 'right', have you looked at JUDDD? It has really changed how I view 'falling off the wagon' and 'getting back on the wagon' and I would be interested to see if it helped with the desire to lose weight perfectly.
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Old 07-08-2013, 11:00 AM   #22
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I used perfectionism for years as an excuse to binge and gain weight since there was no way I could follow a diet perfectly. Then I used it as a way to stick perfectly to the first three phases of Atkins and lose the weight. Then I used it again as an excuse to binge - I "blew" maintenance by not doing it perfectly, so what the heck? - and gain back the weight.

I am sort of bad at being a perfectionist, .

So now I focus on progress. I get frustrated because I'm not doing this "fast" enough but then I remind myself that the time is passing anyway, might as well pass it losing weight and feeling good. And the only way I'll maintain this long term is to accept that this is the way I need to eat from now on, so there really is no rush.
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Old 07-08-2013, 11:59 AM   #23
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My cycling coach always says, if you can't get something this time, by just trying you are one try closer to getting it right the next time. If you stop trying, you will never get it right. All things in life are very different--school, work, diet, relationships. They all have one thing in common--if you give up, you will never see success.
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