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Old 06-10-2013, 04:47 AM   #31
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Glenn, that's a different thing from what the OP is talking about. Your coworker asked.
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Old 06-10-2013, 07:27 AM   #32
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Glenn, that's a different thing from what the OP is talking about. Your coworker asked.
Ntombi - I stand corrected. Then the asnwer is no - I would never just cold turkey approach someone I thought could use the benefits of LC and talk about it - I would never get home.
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Old 06-10-2013, 09:17 AM   #33
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lol yeah, I'd never just go up to someone and be like "Well, you're fat as anything, I think you could benefit from low carb!" I only bring it up when people say they want/need to lose weight. I will ask have they ever tried low carb, and when they ask about it I tell them the basics and offer to let them borrow my book. I kind of give up though because like I said nobody ever is serious about it. I don't think I helped one dang person, lol
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Old 06-10-2013, 09:26 AM   #34
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I do love to TALK about LC in general to my some of my co-workers (one in particular did lose about 70 lbs or so watching carbs) but I never ever push it off on anyone. I love being known as the "health nut" at work. If anyone ever has any questions about anything, they are usually directed to me
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Old 06-10-2013, 12:17 PM   #35
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Wow, this question has prompted some spirited debate. Apparently it is a widespread question with a variety of opinions. To be clear, the question I posed was not about trolling the aisles of WalMart to corner obese people to say, "Hay fattie, you wouldn't be such a porker if you'd stay outta the sweets and potato chips aisle."

You simply can not give random unsolicited advice, that is a given. 1) Its rude 2) its insulting and 3) it would NEVER be effective. It would be interpreted like the quote above.

I too now have people that can tell I have lost weight and often ask questions like, "was it intentional?" or "how did you do it?". I always tell them briefly something like, "Yes, I cut out sugar and starch". If they ask further questions I give them a bit more info, but I never preach to them or give unsolicited advice.

I have had folks say things like, "I could never do that." My reply is always something like, "Sure you could if you found a way to do it without being constantly hungry." If I get no further response I let it drop. If I get further questions I am prepared to offer to loan them "the book that changed my life" if they want to read it. But I won't force it on them and I don't care if I get it back. One thing I have learned is that advice without permission never works.

I do have a few folks that I am very close too that have struggled with the problem for a long time that have not specifically asked the question. I will approach them to attempt to solicit a question that indicates a readiness to seek help. I will not attempt to force such "help" without permission or give them more than they indicate they are ready to receive.
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Old 06-10-2013, 12:27 PM   #36
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But Chuck, don't you think they've noticed that you're losing? Unless they think you sold your soul to the devil, they have got to know that you're doing something that's working well for you. My thinking is that if they were ready to embrace a life change, they'd approach you, or at least mildly indicate that they're interested in information. If the people in my life steadfastly don't, I take that as a hint and keep my mouth shut.

Like Diana said upthread, I live my life as the example, leave myself open for questions, and let others make their choice.

Anyway, I hope your loved ones take it in the spirit you mean it.
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Old 06-10-2013, 12:56 PM   #37
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But Chuck, don't you think they've noticed that you're losing? Unless they think you sold your soul to the devil, they have got to know that you're doing something that's working well for you. My thinking is that if they were ready to embrace a life change, they'd approach you, or at least mildly indicate that they're interested in information. If the people in my life steadfastly don't, I take that as a hint and keep my mouth shut.

Like Diana said upthread, I live my life as the example, leave myself open for questions, and let others make their choice.

Anyway, I hope your loved ones take it in the spirit you mean it.
Gee, did you read my post? I don't recommend giving anyone advice when they didn't "at least mildly Iindicate that they are interested. . ." That would be dumb.
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Old 06-10-2013, 01:03 PM   #38
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Yes I did. I wasn't trying to be insulting, honestly. And I'm not even trying to argue with you. You asked for input, and we have different takes on it.

I've been the recipient of well-meaning hints and nudges when I really wasn't in the mindset to listen, and it did nothing but make me resentful of people I love. I hope you have different results.
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Old 06-10-2013, 02:32 PM   #39
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Old 06-10-2013, 06:48 PM   #40
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I do have a few folks that I am very close too that have struggled with the problem for a long time that have not specifically asked the question. I will approach them to attempt to solicit a question that indicates a readiness to seek help. I will not attempt to force such "help" without permission or give them more than they indicate they are ready to receive.
No I would never just mail someone a copy of Atkins and be like "do it or else chubbs" Many of my loved ones, friends and family, are interested in improving their health and we all talk to each A LOT. So when they see me doing well with something, it is easier for them to make the leap and try it too. But I'm sorry, if someone I love is killing themselves with food I am going to say something. I wouldn't ignore them if they were using drugs either. Of course in either situation you can't be their personal savior, just a supportive friend.

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I've been the recipient of well-meaning hints and nudges when I really wasn't in the mindset to listen, and it did nothing but make me resentful of people I love. I hope you have different results.
I have felt this in the past as well. In fact, I feel now sometimes talking to my dad, who thinks I should be following a specific juicing plan and making my own tofu Luckily dad and I like to debate things, so in the end it is okay for us. This thread has also made me really think about my approach. Everyone I know, knows I had to go gluten free and they all saw the improvements to my various health issues ( I was unable to work or go to college for over a year). They all also know I lost 80ish pounds on Atkins years ago, and so when I sing the praises on lc, maybe it is easier for them to listen because I have been so unwell and am now feeling 100 times better and they can all see it. I am also not confrontational and I don't drop hints. I speak plainly that I love and care for them and I only want what is best. If they tell me no, then I don't bring it up again, of course. If I get questions though, I answer them and try to be supportive.
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Old 06-13-2013, 06:15 AM   #41
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You guys are smart not to approach people. I, on the other hand, am not so smart.

1. People I love: I will march up to them and tell them in no uncertain terms that they will have diabetes if they keep going this way. My mom and sister specifically. They are both on south beach now for quite some time and doing well.

2. Patients: well I suppose this is a unique group since I'm their doctor but I say the same thing. You are carrying too much fat and it's in the middle, which will make it very likely you have insulin resistance and will develop diabetes. Then I try to assess how likely they are to stick to Atkins (or Protein Power). Most people I put on South Beach because it's easier to wrap their heads around.

3. Complete strangers or casual friends: I carry a before/after picture on my phone. I show it to them. I tell them I understand what they're going through. Then I invite them to talk to me if they wish.
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Old 06-13-2013, 06:41 AM   #42
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You guys are smart not to approach people. I, on the other hand, am not so smart.

1. People I love: I will march up to them and tell them in no uncertain terms that they will have diabetes if they keep going this way. My mom and sister specifically. They are both on south beach now for quite some time and doing well.

2. Patients: well I suppose this is a unique group since I'm their doctor but I say the same thing. You are carrying too much fat and it's in the middle, which will make it very likely you have insulin resistance and will develop diabetes. Then I try to assess how likely they are to stick to Atkins (or Protein Power). Most people I put on South Beach because it's easier to wrap their heads around.

3. Complete strangers or casual friends: I carry a before/after picture on my phone. I show it to them. I tell them I understand what they're going through. Then I invite them to talk to me if they wish.
The fear of diabetes is what finally moved me to act. Doctors had encouraged me to lose weight for years and wanted me to go on statins to control the slightly elevated cholesterol. It fell of deaf ears. Then when my blood glucose and triglycerides took a sudden leap I instantly got the message. Tired of playing pallbearer for diabetic friends.
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Old 06-13-2013, 11:59 AM   #43
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1. People I love: I will march up to them and tell them in no uncertain terms that they will have diabetes if they keep going this way. My mom and sister specifically. They are both on south beach now for quite some time and doing well.

2. Patients: well I suppose this is a unique group since I'm their doctor but I say the same thing. You are carrying too much fat and it's in the middle, which will make it very likely you have insulin resistance and will develop diabetes. Then I try to assess how likely they are to stick to Atkins (or Protein Power). Most people I put on South Beach because it's easier to wrap their heads around.

3. Complete strangers or casual friends: I carry a before/after picture on my phone. I show it to them. I tell them I understand what they're going through. Then I invite them to talk to me if they wish.
How Awesome !!!
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Old 06-13-2013, 12:45 PM   #44
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Like most of the others here, I don't. If they ask, I will tell them. Most of my employees know I low carb because of the way I order food off the menu at my restaurant (tuna salad sandwich without the bread, no croutons, garlic shrimp without the pasta, etc.)

And frankly, I would be insulted and hurt if someone came up to me unsolicited to tell me about a diet of any kind.
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Old 06-13-2013, 02:03 PM   #45
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You guys are smart not to approach people. I, on the other hand, am not so smart.

1. People I love: I will march up to them and tell them in no uncertain terms that they will have diabetes if they keep going this way. My mom and sister specifically. They are both on south beach now for quite some time and doing well.

2. Patients: well I suppose this is a unique group since I'm their doctor but I say the same thing. You are carrying too much fat and it's in the middle, which will make it very likely you have insulin resistance and will develop diabetes. Then I try to assess how likely they are to stick to Atkins (or Protein Power). Most people I put on South Beach because it's easier to wrap their heads around.

3. Complete strangers or casual friends: I carry a before/after picture on my phone. I show it to them. I tell them I understand what they're going through. Then I invite them to talk to me if they wish.
I wish you were practicing here.
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Old 06-14-2013, 11:39 AM   #46
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Today's society is experiencing an epidemic of obesity, overweight, and diabetes. Just look around yourself at WalMart, the mall, or fast food joints. I am 71 years old and on this woe because I lost three close friends to diabetes. Like many of you I had tried a number of other weight control programs that just don't work. I have many other friends and loved ones who are at risk just as I was.

How do you approach folks to encourage them? I carry copies of Taubes' WWGF book to give to folks that seriously want to improve their life and health. If they are at the point of being ready to do something about it I want to equip them with the tool that changed my life, but I don't want to embarass or insult them in the process.

How would you aproach an overwright struggling person you love?
I have a strict policy of not approaching anyone about LC, but it seems I get approached, so then I open the flood gates haha.

I figure if they ask they are interested, then I will take my time to explain, otherwise let them keep doing what they are doing.

I believe there are people out there that do not care to be obese and do not want to change.

To each their own.
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Old 06-14-2013, 11:43 AM   #47
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I don't.

If they express interest, I'll happily share, but I never approach anyone about it. I don't hide it, so they can certainly ask if they want.

I feed my dog a whole prey model raw diet, and I take the same attitude: if it comes up in the course of conversation, I'll share the fact; if you're interested and have questions, I'll answer them to any degree of specificity you like. But I won't try to push it on anyone, nor will I debate my choices with you or anyone.

I don't like other people giving me their unsolicited advice, so I extend them the same courtesy.

Completely agree
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Old 06-15-2013, 12:33 PM   #48
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Complete strangers or casual friends: I carry a before/after picture on my phone. I show it to them. I tell them I understand what they're going through. Then I invite them to talk to me if they wish.
As a matter of interest, how over-fat/obese/morbidly obese would someone need to seem to be before you'd make such an approach?

Do people respond well to you once the initial surprise wears off?

ETA: I would never comment to anyone. If people ask, I'll respond with the type of information they're requesting.

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Old 06-16-2013, 09:25 AM   #49
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As a matter of interest, how over-fat/obese/morbidly obese would someone need to seem to be before you'd make such an approach?

Do people respond well to you once the initial surprise wears off?

ETA: I would never comment to anyone. If people ask, I'll respond with the type of information they're requesting.
Never approached anyone who expressed surprise. You seem to assume this is a mall troling trip looking for fatties. Not so. People who are overweight to the point of threatening their health already know it. Folks I don't know well are on their own.

Those I know well I will approach privately, and then only if I know they are struggling with the issue. I simply state what getting the "carb monkey" off my back has done for me. If they don't express interest I drop it, if they do I ask them if they are open to help. It does work if you are considerate to their feelings and discrete.
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Old 06-16-2013, 09:39 AM   #50
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I made no such assumption and I apologise if that's the way it came across. It really was directed as an enquiry to RDBhan in the context of the part that I quoted from his message.

I'm British and depending on where you are, it can be quite tricky to chat to people aside from general imprecations about the weather. Some people are genuinely surprised that somebody that they don't know is talking to them at all which is what prompted my phrasing when posting my enquiry to RDBhan.
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Old 06-16-2013, 10:34 AM   #51
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I don't.

If they express interest, I'll happily share, but I never approach anyone about it. I don't hide it, so they can certainly ask if they want.

I feed my dog a whole prey model raw diet, and I take the same attitude: if it comes up in the course of conversation, I'll share the fact; if you're interested and have questions, I'll answer them to any degree of specificity you like. But I won't try to push it on anyone, nor will I debate my choices with you or anyone.

I don't like other people giving me their unsolicited advice, so I extend them the same courtesy.
I agree wholeheartedly!
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Old 06-16-2013, 10:43 AM   #52
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Ironically this came up recently with my older brother. He got up to 350 and had a heart attack last year. Since then, he has lost about 100 lbs. but he starting to put weight back on again. He lost the weight due to just feeling lousy, not because he was trying.

Anyway, he said he gained 20 lbs since Jan. I just encouraged him to try to keep his weight down without outlining any specifics. He told me his nemesis is mashed potatoes. Can't give them up he said. His daughter is the same way and she has a tendency to gain weight.

I bit my lip, but I wanted to say LAY OFF THE POTATOES GUY!!! YOU JUST HAD A FLIPPIN' HEART ATTACK!!!

He did not ask me for help, so I refrained. It was hard to do though!
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Old 06-16-2013, 10:55 AM   #53
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Ironically this came up recently with my older brother. He got up to 350 and had a heart attack last year. Since then, he has lost about 100 lbs. but he starting to put weight back on again. He lost the weight due to just feeling lousy, not because he was trying.

Anyway, he said he gained 20 lbs since Jan. I just encouraged him to try to keep his weight down without outlining any specifics. He told me his nemesis is mashed potatoes. Can't give them up he said. His daughter is the same way and she has a tendency to gain weight.

I bit my lip, but I wanted to say LAY OFF THE POTATOES GUY!!! YOU JUST HAD A FLIPPIN' HEART ATTACK!!!

He did not ask me for help, so I refrained. It was hard to do though!
In this situation, or perhaps if he mentions potatoes again, maybe giving him a recipe (or ten!) for mashed cauliflower would be helpful. Or just mention there are a lot of great recipes for it & let him decide if he wants to look for some. Many who love mashed potatoes swear by them. Your brother is obviously motivated.
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Old 06-16-2013, 11:10 AM   #54
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I love mashed taters too! That is a good idea about the recipes. I think I will wait until he asks me however... he is very sensitive about his weight.
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Old 06-16-2013, 11:41 AM   #55
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I do not say anything but rather set an example by how I live myself. I do not hide what I'm doing - it comes up often and everyone around me knows I'm living a low carb lifestyle.

It's funny that by just sharing what I do when the right times come up in conversation - people start to get curious and will ask me questions .. and next thing I know, some of those people are trying to eat low carb as well.
Samers, C'sMom. I regularly eat out w/colleagues for lunch, some of them often. And since I was a total carb hound before beginning this woe, it was pretty hard for them not to notice. They ask about it, and are very curious. If the door is opened, I walk through it. Always recommend "Why We Get fat." Several people have bought it, a couple have gotten back to me to say how much it informed them.

I love to talk about it if someone wants to hear about it. Like any journey we're on, it's a part of our lives, and often we want to share. People let you know pretty fast how much they want to hear, and I pay attention to those signals.

I do agree w/a poster above who said "saying you're doing LC is one thing, talking about high fat is another." That part inevitably causes looks of worry and skepticism. Forty years of low fat recommendation isn't going away easily and most are still fat-phobic.

People don't realize that most of us are either eating high carb, or high fat. IOW, they don't see themselves as high carb eaters, which they would agree is not a good thing, particularly if those carbs are sugars and starches. But
high fat is a scary thought for many. Then there are those who absolutely believe in a "balanced" diet. And there's nothing wrong w/that either, unless you are carb intolerant and then that doesn't work so well.

Sadly, it's the ones who clearly probably have metabolic syndrome who ask the least questions. So you just hope they'll come to it in their own ways.
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Old 06-16-2013, 02:31 PM   #56
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I made no such assumption and I apologise if that's the way it came across. It really was directed as an enquiry to RDBhan in the context of the part that I quoted from his message.

I'm British and depending on where you are, it can be quite tricky to chat to people aside from general imprecations about the weather. Some people are genuinely surprised that somebody that they don't know is talking to them at all which is what prompted my phrasing when posting my enquiry to RDBhan.
Apparently I failed to notice your statement was directed to RDBhan. Sorry if it seemed I was jumping on you.

Being a physician, RDBahn is a bit of a different case than the rest of us. In that capacity he likely talks to patients daily about their health. I know mine did for years, but about cholesteral results, not the very real possiblity of diabetes. When I saw diabetes in the near future future my eyes suddenly opened.

As my new lifestyle has progressed it has become a point of discussion at our gatherings with friends. I readily discuss it, especially the point that it is relatively hunger free. Interestingly, the ones that are already diabetic and in the most need of it are the least responsive.
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Old 06-16-2013, 06:53 PM   #57
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Originally Posted by Chuck41 View Post
Apparently I failed to notice your statement was directed to RDBhan. Sorry if it seemed I was jumping on you.

Being a physician, RDBahn is a bit of a different case than the rest of us. In that capacity he likely talks to patients daily about their health. I know mine did for years, but about cholesteral results, not the very real possiblity of diabetes. When I saw diabetes in the near future future my eyes suddenly opened.

As my new lifestyle has progressed it has become a point of discussion at our gatherings with friends. I readily discuss it, especially the point that it is relatively hunger free. Interestingly, the ones that are already diabetic and in the most need of it are the least responsive.
re: highlighted area. i agree, people are more likely/willing to listen to someone who has these types of credentials.

to the op: no, i don't talk to people unless they ask me directly how i'm losing weight ... even then it's just the "no processed foods/ no sugars/no flours etc" answer. for those who express interest, i go into a little more detail if they want, but most people don't want details. however, i did have to give an impromptu lecture on cholesterol when someone made a negative comment on the amount of eggs i ate. thank goodness i was prepared for it having just read the cholesterol primer on lcf! i even gave a number of printed pages about cholesterol to them the next day! this person has not asked me anymore questions.
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Old 06-18-2013, 12:27 PM   #58
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Originally Posted by clackley View Post
I wish you were practicing here.
Aww, thanks Cathy.
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Old 06-18-2013, 12:36 PM   #59
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Originally Posted by SlowSure View Post
As a matter of interest, how over-fat/obese/morbidly obese would someone need to seem to be before you'd make such an approach?

Do people respond well to you once the initial surprise wears off?

ETA: I would never comment to anyone. If people ask, I'll respond with the type of information they're requesting.
Sorry, I was away for a few days. I was certainly not ignoring your question. The truth is, it's not so much how overfat someone is, but more an issue of where they are carrying the weight. If it's around the middle, even if it's a mildly overweight person, I would approach them. Obviously this varies depending on much of a stranger the person is. But there's almost always an opportunity to get the conversation steered in the right direction. My most recent encounter with a complete stranger: We were in a shoe store, and he was trying on dress shoes. I noticed he kept trying shoes that were too big. "You look like my size, buddy. I usually wear a 9 - those look huge! (both of us laughing)."
"Yeah, I just can't find the right fit."

"y'know it's funny. When I was heavy, my shoes fit fine. But I've lost a lot of weight recently and I feel like I'm in between sizes. It's like a big joke."

"Really? How much weight have you lost?" And off I go. You don't have to walk up to someone and say "Geez you're fat." Although I would say that to my family.
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Old 06-18-2013, 12:36 PM   #60
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Someone giving me "hints" or "suggestions" would be nothing less than ghastly and would completely de-rail my weight loss efforts. I'm an adult, I have doctorate, and I can read and talk. If I want advice, I'll ask for it.

Unsolicited advice is about the needs of/payoff for the advice-giver, imo, and not really about the recipient.

Any advice from a Dr. is at least tacitly solicited, since I'm their patient.
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