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Old 04-29-2013, 02:11 AM   #1
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A concerned daughter I am

I wasn't sure where to post this, but I really need some advice. I'm always seeking advice from yall I moved back home after my time in the navy to help my parents with bills. Now it's become I'm taking care of them, which I don't mind, they're my parents this is what I'm supposed to do.

My dad got his blood results back this week (I got mine a while back). Nothing about his blood tests were good. None of it. High cholesterol, high sugar, HDL was a very low number, vitamin d was low, triglycerides through the roof (539). The lab couldn't get a LDL because of how high his triglycerides were. Some background on my dad he's a smoker and is 288lbs. Not healthy, eats whatever he can get his hands on. No medication but an inhaler (COPD) and a low dose aspirin. No other medical conditions before his numbers came back like this.

At the end of this paperwork it said they recommend him being a low fat, low cholesterol diet. The thing is my mom and I do LC and are happy with it. My dad doesn't want to do it because he feels it is too restrictive. In the back of my mind he can call a low cholesterol, low fat diet healthy all day and I won't believe it. I hate with numbers like this he's now on a low cholesterol low fat diet. I'm not the controlling type I just believe in health. AND Maybe I'm wrong maybe this is what's good for him right now.

Any insight? yall!
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Old 04-29-2013, 02:47 AM   #2
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You can't force him no matter how much you love him so just love him and continue to set a good example.

I think after seeing how good it is for you and he finds out just how restrictive a doctors 'health' diet can feel he may come to you all by himself later.

hugs.
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Old 04-29-2013, 02:50 AM   #3
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Considering his present diet, the best choice for him is the one he'll stick to. If he has it in his head that low fat, low cholesterol is best, or easier to stick to, so be it. At least he won't be eating whatever junk food in whatever quantities, like he is now.

I understand, believe me: my mother has Type II diabetes that could easily be controlled with diet alone, but she won't eat LC. She eats "healthy," and takes meds. I can't control it or convince her to switch ("it's too hard!"), I'm just glad she's not on insulin.
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Old 04-29-2013, 04:18 AM   #4
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I agree with everyone sweetie. And HI from a fellow Arkansan!! My Dad is Obese, he's gained about 75 lbs Or more since he retired 4 yrs ago. He has trouble getting up and down out of chairs etc but can walk fine. He would Live on crackers and bread if he could. His bloodwork comes back Great everytime so he takes that to mean he's "Healthy" I tried for awhile to get him and Mama on the LC track But he wouldn't go for it. So I quit bugging them about it. If the Low chol and low fat diet helps him And he will stick with it then I say let him. Maybe he will see how Great and UNrestrictive You are eatting and join you someday. Hugs! And Thank you for your service to our country!!!
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Old 04-29-2013, 04:35 AM   #5
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Sage advice from everyone. He might also surprise you. Men can restrict their meals to one a day if they get the bug and keep it up if motivated. If your father is a motivated guy motivate him more. His life on his diet will be harder because of the hunger factor. He might succeed with his diet or he might come round to the idea that restricted, but not hungry works for him after all. Lead by example. Hugzzz

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Old 04-29-2013, 06:09 AM   #6
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I agree with PP, if he can stick to a lower calorie, lower fat diet that it likely to be way better than he is eating now. My father has lost over 100 lbs. since October on a calorie-controlled diet. It's low fat becuase you can't eat too much fat and keep the calories down, and still have your carbs. He eats oatmeal for breakfast, snacks on veggies, and has reasonable amounts the rest of the time. I just smile and nod when he tells me the calorie counts of what he's eaten. He just visited last weekend and was very happy he could have my diet cran-grape drink becuase it only had 5 cal a cup. He ususally drinks one at home that is 50 cal a cup. I wouldn't drink the higher cal one because the extra calories come from sugar. But he IS eating much less sugar than he used to. My dad also keeps track of all his food. That's really helped him. Your dad needs to start somewhere, it sounds like anything is better than where he is now, health-wise.
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Old 04-29-2013, 07:31 AM   #7
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There is one commonality among the healthiest and fittest people I know. It's not that they are all low carb or low fat, but they all WATCH what they eat and are mindful of the nutritional content of what they ingest. Low fat IS healthy if done right. So if he will listen to his doctor so be it as others have nicely said. There are many ways to get healthy and if he can stick to a low fat, low calorie diet (which will automatically mean less refined sugar), then that's great. If you can get him to be mindful about what's in every single thing he puts on his mouth, that's the most important part I think.
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Old 04-29-2013, 08:06 AM   #8
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the trouble is triglycerides in particular are directly related to carb intake. he's going to have a hard time getting them down without controlling his carbs. perhaps you can figure out a LOWER carb plan for him?

the red flag I see here is that often the people in a family where the cook(s) low carb end up eating a lot more fat in ADDITION to carbs. the low carb cook uses more fat, more saturated fat, more meat, more eggs, etc.

if someone is not going to low carb, this can be dangerous. you have to be careful he isn't eating your high fat low carb food PLUS his carbs. that might be why the numbers are so bad.

good luck.
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Old 04-29-2013, 08:15 AM   #9
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Quote:
My dad doesn't want to do it because he feels it is too restrictive.
I convinced my dad otherwise by cooking him all sorts of wonderful LC things. Stuff I don't normally eat, but I wanted him to see just how many things could be make low carb! Coconut cream cheesecake, rich sauces over cauliflower "rice," casseroles, cheese crisps with dip, LC mixed drinks, etc. The last time I made him dinner I had a regular cake for the kids (birthday party) and a LC cheesecake for the adults. He tried both and said that the LC cheesecake was much better.

Good luck with this, I know it's frustrating.
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Old 04-29-2013, 08:53 AM   #10
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He needs to lose weight using whatever WORKS! If he can do a low fat diet, great... get the weight off!! I would just support him with buying whatever foods he wants that fit with his recommended diet. Its not worth arguing over, he's an adult.

He also desparately needs to stop smoking if he already has COPD.
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Old 04-29-2013, 08:56 AM   #11
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Well, he is right. LC is restrictive if you are a carb addict. No doubt about that.

Is it possible to get him to educate himself about LC? A big part of getting past the restrictive nature of low carb is knowing the hidden evil of carbs and the healthy nature of living low carb. Why We Get Fat or Good Calories Bad Calories probably does the best job of explaining the situation. Wheat Belly is another good read to help get past the idea of 'healthy whole grains'.

He could probably benefit greatly from just reducing carbs to, say, 150 grams a day. At that level and at his current weight I bet he'd see big improvements that might spur him on to a true LC woe.
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Old 04-29-2013, 07:13 PM   #12
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Thank you all for the advice and insight about this. We sat down tonight and made a grocery list (low cholesterol) for tomorrow based on some educating of myself I did the past few days. I'm glad he's letting me help him at least with the food purchasing process because that means he values my input which I'm glad. I'd just like him to be healthy and have a better quality of life. As for smoking he's trying to quit and has been trying for a long time. It's hard for him but he's doing better really. He was recently diagnosed with COPD at this same dr. visit where the blood work was done.

Again, thanks yall! Yall always put my mind at ease
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Old 04-29-2013, 07:24 PM   #13
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A good intro to Good Calories, Bad Calories is the documentary Fat Head. It might at least piqué his interest.

If you can tweak his diet to be under 100g of carbs a day, you'll be going a long way towards helping him get more healthy. That would let him have a few more carbish items while still significantly reducing the insulin spikes.

There is evidence that a lot of the improvement seen in studies when people were put on low-fat, low-calorie diets actually came from the reduction in carbs. That can help your father, too.

And if you can keep what carbs he does eat away from wheat, the more the better.

Finally, if he gets to the point of quitting the diet because he's hungry all the time (or whatever reason), that is the time to apply pressure on the low-carb. "You can eat all you want!" Good Calories, Bad Calories will give you some scientific evidence to help convince him as well.
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Old 05-03-2013, 03:59 AM   #14
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First off I want to say that you sound like a great daughter to be concerned like you are! Very caring indeed. I don't really have a lot to add, but I did want to say that if you all live together maybe you can eat some meals together and show him what it is you eat, keep it simple maybe, like some grilled meat or even do some chicken thighs in butter on the stove (I sometimes do this) with some light seasoning and maybe some lc coleslaw or lc squash casserole or even just a salad. I think when people first think of lc they get scared...it sounds too complicated. Keep it simple. Even get some lc wraps for him just to see if he likes them. I know some people can't eat them, but to start with if it gets him going, I say go for it! Try it over the weekend if you are all together, that way you can do it all together starting with a nice breakfast. Good luck!
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Old 05-03-2013, 05:54 AM   #15
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He has been sticking to this low cholesterol low fat diet and seems to enjoy it. The thing is I do all the cooking in the house and be extra careful to not use any sort of fatty things out of habit while cooking his meal. I fix all his meals so when i went grocery shopping instead of buying some whole wheat bread i bought some of that healthy life lc bread and bought some lc wraps. He loves them!! So im keeping this at moderate carbs. I track his food as well and its usually about 100g net carbs. He told me hes feeling better than before. Im proud of him for sticking to his healthy way of eating coming from a high amount of junk food and sweets.

I consider myself a caring daughter because they deserve it after making sacrifices for me growing up.
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Old 05-03-2013, 07:23 AM   #16
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Originally Posted by jazills View Post
He has been sticking to this low cholesterol low fat diet and seems to enjoy it. The thing is I do all the cooking in the house and be extra careful to not use any sort of fatty things out of habit while cooking his meal. I fix all his meals so when i went grocery shopping instead of buying some whole wheat bread i bought some of that healthy life lc bread and bought some lc wraps. He loves them!! So im keeping this at moderate carbs. I track his food as well and its usually about 100g net carbs. He told me hes feeling better than before. Im proud of him for sticking to his healthy way of eating coming from a high amount of junk food and sweets.

I consider myself a caring daughter because they deserve it after making sacrifices for me growing up.
Sounds like you are both doing great! WTG!
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Old 05-04-2013, 02:45 AM   #17
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I don't know if this would help at all since he sounds like he's doing pretty well so far. Show him some of the fantastic recipes in Induction Food Porn threads. There's certainly enough recipes in them. Or any of the recipes for that matter.

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Old 05-04-2013, 04:33 AM   #18
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There are ways to hide a low fat low cholesterol diet. I eat approx 100 total carbs a day and have for the last 10 years while enjoying meat (bacon,eggs, steak, chicken etc) and even a piece of fruit a day. The secret is to get the carbs from fruit & vegetables and an occasional serving of rice or potato. I pass on the latter but hubby doesn't. I package my morning protein with a fruit. For a guy he could have 2 eggs or egg whites with an oz of cheese and an oz of bacon. Add some salsa to it if he likes that. And an apple or bowl of mixed fruit or half cantelope. You get the idea. At lunch, a serving size of meat, fish, chicken or beans & rice. Serving size for a guy is 6 oz. Give him his favorite salad with dressing and a large serving of cooked veggies, you even even add a 1/2 cup rice or small potato. Something similar for dinner and a snack later at night, like protein & fruit but half the size of morning. This will cut his fat and calories and even cholesterol. My husband did something like this and lost 60 lbs over a 6-7 month period. His tryglycerides are in the 60 range and his sugars are normal. And tell him to take it real easy on himself. If he is an active guy, that's great,,,if nit, try to go for a walk in the morning and night. Two 10 or 15 minute walks a day will do wonders.

And you don't need to label it. It is just healthy eating and there is so much food, your dad will say I can't eat all this. You can always cut out the late night snack or the size of the protein to 4 oz if it is too much for him to finish.

Try to get him to help prepare it. After all it is what he wants to do, right? Follow his doctor's adivce?
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Old 05-04-2013, 06:35 AM   #19
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I'm glad your dad has found a somewhat healthier diet that he can stick with,
Clearly, he had to change SOMETHING...and if low fat helps him start a weight loss journey then so be it. If he loses some weight and begins to feel better, you might then start introducing some info as to the benefits of low carb.
There is one thing that at this stage is even more important than his diet (did I really say that?) and that is the fact that he absolutley must quit smoking.
Many health concerns are debatable, including low fat vs. low carb but not smoking.
It is a potent killer.
If I thought I could get him to quit smoking I would do that first. When he has gotten past the withdrawl effects I would then encourage him with some kind of diet he might stick to.
I smoked for many years, so I understand that he has to reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaallllllly want to quit before being successful, but I don't know of any health discipline that would not put quitting smoking at the very top of his 'to do' list for improving health.
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Old 05-04-2013, 07:38 AM   #20
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@marymary thats some excellent guidance. I feel like for him that is doable in time. Right now we are trying to create habit of eating healthy and getting on the right track. Thank you!!

@avid yes smoking beyond anything is a huge concern. You can eat healthy all day but smoking isn't going to make you any healthier. Nearly hindering the process. He is giving an honest effort to quit, im not a smoker so i dont know how hard it is, but he tries to put it into perspective for me. I know its an addiction just like sugar was for me. I understand the craving but its different with food than completely removing something out of your life and not replacing it with anything. Hes been smoking for 40 years. I wish I knew soke techniques to make him want to quit.
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Old 05-04-2013, 08:00 AM   #21
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From what I understand your father is trying to give up cigarettes and eating at the same time.That is very hard as the smoker usually turns to some other oral satisfaction and we are also used to a high level of endorphins.(reason why we want to eat if not hungry ?) Don't despair if he does not make the two at first go. If he cannot give up the cigarettes just yet, it will come. Think of a strategy to fill the gap. If he can't give up all at once maybe he could consider smoking a pipe. He could try it first empty and if it does not do with tobacco .Note I am not endorsing not giving up smoking,just trying to address some reality issues. If he makes it first go applause!
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Old 05-04-2013, 10:13 AM   #22
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He has been chewing tobacco in place of it at work and working out in the yard. I'm not sure that is a good alternative but like you said it's a realistic gradual move.
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Old 05-04-2013, 01:17 PM   #23
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Jana, it shows he is trying. Dr Phil always said, you can't remove something without replacing the behavior with something else. So he needs to help you come up with a list of healthy alternatives to smoking or eating off plan. Sounds like he enjoys yard work and gardening. Getting your hands in the dirt can't be any healthier. It is a great place to start. He needs to keep busy. Most likely his first reaction to life is to light up or grab a snack. Part of finding a new behavior is to help change his first reaction to life. Could it become, read a book, dig in the dirt, go for a walk, play a game with you like checkers or such? What do you think?
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Old 05-04-2013, 01:38 PM   #24
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Those electronic cigarettes are a step..Yes, they contain nicotene which is the addictive substance, but there are literally hundreds of toxic chemicals in cigarette smoke that he wouldn't get with the electric.
I tried quitting for many years ..off a while then going back. I kept trying everything. What finally worked for me was the nicorette gum....this was before the electric cigarettes, but even with the gum it took me a couple of years.
I agree that unless he is highly motivated, quitting cigs, while changing eating habits may be too much. I personally know people who have done it. but they had a real health scare and changed many long standing habits...a lifestyle makeover if you will....
If dad is at that point then yes he can quit cigs, eat healthier, get into a regular exercise routine, and do other healthy things, like meditation or yoga for stress reduction.
It all depends on how desperate one is for change.
Good luck to him and your whole family
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Old 05-04-2013, 03:25 PM   #25
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I second the electronic cigarette idea. Apparently, they've helped lots of people quit altogether--and even if you continue to use them, you're not getting searing smoke and tons of chemicals with your nicotine.
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Old 05-04-2013, 03:50 PM   #26
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Wellbutrin is also used to help folks quit smoking. It affects the dopamine levels in the brain. Some believe the oerson with an addiction to whatever have reduced levels of dopamine. I started taking it 10 years ago and haven't looked back it gives me a little lift in the morning. I don't drink coffee so this really helps. I came off it once for six months but my depression returned, so I will take it for the rest of my life.
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Old 05-04-2013, 05:02 PM   #27
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As a COPD patient myself, the number one thing that needs to be done above all else is to quit smoking. According to my lung doctor, a normal person who smokes is equal to an additional 75lbs in weight for a non smoker as far as health goes. A person with COPD much much higher. Lung function declines very rapidly for COPD patients that continue to smoke.

It is difficult but not impossible, I quit after smoking for almost 35 years, and I smoked like a chimney. I used all the aids, Chantix, Wellbutrin(helps with weight loss too), patches and an e-cig. For me, I got a 0 nicotine e-cig and only used it a few times, I wanted to be free from the nicotine addiction, but even with no nicotine, it somehow satisfied cravings when needed. I think it was the hand to mouth habit it soothed.

If he can kick it, he will feel better. Exercise is also very important for COPD, I know it sounds overwhelming. I started an exercise plan 3 or 4 months after I quit and I was so out of shape, i had to move in 5 minute increments in the beginning. I never exercised in my life. I guess my point is, the more I achieved after never even considering these things, the better I felt. I felt that I had gotten to the point of no return, after decades of torturing my body. That is what I would want your Dad to know, it is not a waste. I am still fat, but I feel healthy and that is a major difference.

Hope this info helps.
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Old 05-04-2013, 05:58 PM   #28
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Those electronic cigarettes are a step..Yes, they contain nicotene which is the addictive substance, but there are literally hundreds of toxic chemicals in cigarette smoke that he wouldn't get with the electric.
I tried quitting for many years ..off a while then going back. I kept trying everything. What finally worked for me was the nicorette gum....this was before the electric cigarettes, but even with the gum it took me a couple of years.
I agree that unless he is highly motivated, quitting cigs, while changing eating habits may be too much. I personally know people who have done it. but they had a real health scare and changed many long standing habits...a lifestyle makeover if you will....
If dad is at that point then yes he can quit cigs, eat healthier, get into a regular exercise routine, and do other healthy things, like meditation or yoga for stress reduction.
It all depends on how desperate one is for change.
Good luck to him and your whole family
I've been using an e-cig for 2 years, and have cut the amount of nicotine I use in half. I also use it less often now, and can go for days without if I run out of supplies.

For some of us, smoking was more than just a physical addiction to nicotine. I really enjoyed smoking cigarettes but knew it was terrible for my health. I know people who use zero nicotine liquid in their e-cig because they enjoy vaping even after kicking their addiction.
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Old 05-04-2013, 10:29 PM   #29
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Arkansas
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Thanks for all the information!! I will surely pass it on to him. We discuss this health issue everyday as I learn something new about his situation. When my mother was sick I used to do DAYS of reading until we got her to the point she is now. Hospital free for 6 years, I've really tried to help her get healthy and stay healthy. At one time she was having to go to the ER every year due to strokes and high blood pressure. Now my dad is the concern and WE will get there!!

My dad is a carpenter so when I say outdoor work he's usually out in the shop making something out of wood when he's not at work. The habit he has is really bad, even keeping busy doesn't matter because he will still light it up when he's working in the wood shop. He has tried the e-cig and didn't like it. He did try Chantix when i was on deployment but didn't like that either. A long time ago (when I was 5...20 years ago) he tried the patch and I remember him and my mother doing gum. My mother quit smoking cold turkey after she had her heart attack, she was also in the hospital for 2 weeks. I'm praying that doesn't happen to him for him to wake up and realize this is terrible for him. The drs have been telling him and telling him for years to quit and he's had a Aortic aneurism that had to be patched last year. When I was 12 he had a blood clot in the main artery of his leg that had to be removed and the dr. told him it was all caused by smoking. He almost had to have his leg removed. I feel we need a miracle and I know it's gradual and I know he's trying. It just all really scares me when talking about how bad his health is, his dad died from lung cancer from smoking. My dad is only 53 years old, that's too young. He's got a lot of life left to live and I'd like for him to stick around to see me get married one day and have children (I'm the only child.) Well this post turned into a pity party real quick but that's just how I feel about the whole situation.

I have a terrible line of genes here as far as health goes. I am doing EVERYTHING I can possible to prevent what health issues my parents have coming down to me. I know that some things are genetic but other things can be avoided. Thank yall for listening and being so supportive when I need it.
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Old 05-04-2013, 11:00 PM   #30
Way too much time on my hands!
 
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Join Date: Jun 2002
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What a wonderful daughter you are, but don't neglect your own life, get out and have some fun too!
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