Low Carb Friends  
Netrition.com - Tools - Reviews - Faces - Recipes - Home


Go Back   Low Carb Friends > Main Lowcarb Lobby
Register FAQ Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-24-2013, 03:30 AM   #1
Senior LCF Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 914
Gallery: Punkin
Stats: 160/95/100
WOE: NK or LC
The fat person identity.

I seem to have this "fat" girl identity that I can't seem to get away from and it bothers me even though I am not fat anymore. Does anyone else experience this?

I have always had a weight problem ever since I was a young child and in the last 5 years I have lost about a total of 55lbs, which is a lot for someone my size. And that is great for me but people still think of me as the fat girl. For example a women the other day commented on how good I looked recently after shedding my baby weight and this friend of my mothers said: "well she has always been a bit on the chunky side." I get other comments to like: "oh you are only eating a salad for lunch? That is not real food, there's no calories in that, no wonder your losing so much weight." Meanwhile I am dumping 300calories worth of dressing on it! I find people are either monitoring what I eat, or commenting on how I am too skinny now and it bothers me. I know that most people are generally getting fatter over time or maintaining their weight, where I as I am getting thinner so I stand out as being different. But it bothers me sometimes.

Does anyone else have this issue and how do you deal with it?
Punkin is offline   Reply With Quote

Sponsored Links
Old 04-24-2013, 04:17 AM   #2
Major LCF Poster!
 
RobbyC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Rochester, MN
Posts: 1,291
Gallery: RobbyC
Stats: 236.4/223/199 (First goal 1-derland!)
I had that issue and I dealt with it poorly... I gained all my weight back and then some. You have to do what makes you happy, living for others is no way to live.

My advice, either ignore it or talk to those you love on how you feel. Do not give in to thier temptations. They just see you changing and that makes them insecure.
RobbyC is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2013, 04:33 AM   #3
Major LCF Poster!
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 2,233
Gallery: Patience
Their comments are rude, but many are likely saying it without much thought or malice.
If you can, just "let it go." I sometimes tell them really what I think in a "thought bubble" like in the cartoons.
Patience is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2013, 04:55 AM   #4
Senior LCF member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 9,389
Gallery: Leo41
Stats: 340 then/145 now
WOE: Low carb/calorie cycling
Over the past few years, I've lost close to 200 lbs after a lifetime of morbid obesity (been maintaining for 2 years), and I must say that I've never had the experiences you describe. I guess I've been lucky--or I know more polite people.

Since I'm retired now, I will sometimes see people who last saw me at 300 lbs, and they will often simply say, "Gee, I hardly recognized you. You look great." I say, "Thank you," and that's the end of the 'comments.'

Throughout my weight loss--and now--I have had meals out with family or friends, and NO ONE ever commented on what I was eating--or not eating.
Leo41 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2013, 04:58 AM   #5
Senior LCF Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 403
Gallery: MargD
Stats: 134/127/<119 (Orig. 180)
WOE: Pescatarian/LC/5:2
Start Date: May, 2011
I guess I'm lucky, also. I've never experienced anything like the OP describes.

Even when I lost 50 lbs in 2004.
MargD is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2013, 05:21 AM   #6
A&F
Senior LCF Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 227
Gallery: A&F
Stats: 185/138.4/120
WOE: Atkins
Start Date: 7/12/11
For me, my "fat person identity" is all internal. I've been as heavy as 195 and as light as 130, but no matter what my weight I can't seem to shake it.

For me, it stems from being the daughter of a very morbidly obese father whose side of the family all are heavy. I loved my father very much, watched him struggle with his weight problems and was always very aware of the comments made about him and his weight and how hurtful they can be.

On more than one occasion I've called someone out (usually a friend or co-worker, but I wouldn't be opposed to doing so to a complete stranger) when I hear them ripping on someone who is heavy. I'm a big proponent of telling people directly when they say something that is inappropriate, hurtful (even without meaning to be), or rude.

The person who made the comment about the baby weight - use a sense of humor - "Well thank you, but I didn't have a baby. I was just fat."

The friend of your mother's - approach frankly and directly - "I appreciate that you have known me a very long time, and you have seen me struggle with my weight, but comments on my past are not appreciated or welcome. I am disappointed that you choose to focus on my size and not me as a whole person."

Those commenting on what you eat - approach frankly and directly - "Your concern is appreciated, but what I choose to put in my mouth is not up for discussion." Using a sense of humor here can backfire because snide "jokes" can then be seen as ok.
A&F is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2013, 05:29 AM   #7
Major LCF Poster!
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,758
Gallery: nolcjunk
Stats: Whole foods lc, 110, 5'6
WOE: Atkins - it's a diet
The only person that can internalize a fat person identity is you. I know it's hard when you finally lose the weight to see yourself differently and as someone who is no longer fat, and it takes time to work on it.

You know you are doing all the right things. Maintain your weight and just smile when people comment. A lot of people really do not think before they speak and don't get how an offhand comment by them will have you tossing and turning for nights.

Be happy with what you've achieved and let whatever comments they make slide off your back. For some reason, people think that commenting on food and weight is ok (especially if you are losing weight or are thin).
__________________
Just because you’re not sick doesn’t mean you’re healthy
nolcjunk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2013, 08:22 AM   #8
Major LCF Poster!
 
raindroproses's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Lansing, MI
Posts: 1,053
Gallery: raindroproses
Stats: 5'6" - 203/151/150 - Size 14/6/4
WOE: NK (less than 20 total carbs daily)
Start Date: January 25th 2013
I do have the same problem, and while some of it comes from external sources (namely my dad occasionally saying something, however well intentioned he might be) most of it does come from my own mind and the low self esteem I've always had my entire life practically.

I can't even remember a time when I didn't feel fat... whether I actually WAS fat or not. When I was a child, I was quite thin. But I was never well liked for some reason, and was rather shy in school... and whenever it came time to pick on me, that was one of their favorite things to say. "You're so fat!" Even when I was thin as a rail. I guess it just got pounded into my head for so many years I eventually BECAME what everyone was telling me I was... and instead of my mother trying to help me be healthier, she kept telling me I WASN'T fat and kept allowing me to make the same bad decisions I was making that contributed to my weight gain. Granted there's a LOT of medical crap going on associated with my weight too, and there has been all my life... but ignoring it was NOT the answer!

Anyway, I guess that just haunted me the rest of my life and here I am today still really struggling to remind myself that I'm not that fat kid anymore that people picked on... even though I still view myself that way sometimes, and feel like others see it too. That's been what I've been working on the most lately, I think: trying to detach myself from those old associations and false statements, and appreciate myself for who I REALLY am both inside and out. It's hard when you have self esteem issues, but being here has really helped me too whenever I felt like giving up

My dad does occasionally throw in the random, "Are you sure you're eating enough?" comment when he sees me after a long while away and he sees how I've shrunk. And he keeps on with his, "Well ONE piece of cake won't kill you. You're skinny!" comments too because he doesn't understand. But when he seems concerned about how well I'm eating I remind him that I just ate a steak bigger than his head that was smothered in butter and go on with my day

I am sorry the people in your life are making you feel that way though OP. I agree that if it continues to bother you, the right thing to do is to address it with them in a polite but stern manner. Something as easy as saying it's really none of their business to comment on the things you eat would be sufficient, and remind them that this is the best you've felt in a really long time and you're healthy as can be. Sometimes letting people get away with saying things without letting them know it was wrong makes them think it's okay to continue on with it... why people ever think it's okay to comment on what someone else is eating though is just beyond me. It's rude, and in some people it leads to eating disorders... others it simply hurts their feelings and makes them question themselves, which is bad enough and NOT okay. That's nothing to mess around with!

Last edited by raindroproses; 04-24-2013 at 08:26 AM..
raindroproses is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2013, 09:33 AM   #9
Major LCF Poster!
 
Demonica's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Eastern Indiana
Posts: 1,463
Gallery: Demonica
Stats: 210/164.9/150
WOE: Stillman's
Start Date: February 2010
I was fat for so long, all my life, that I still feel like a fat girl. I can still hear my dad's voice in my head when I was 10- 11 years old talking to my step mother (he didn't know I was in the next room listening to them talk about me) when he very plainly said, "well I'd have just brought her fat little (three letter word) right back home". And I have never liked male attention because all that came from it was fat jokes. I still feel like, when I do get males looking at me, they are thinking to themselves about how fat I am and making fun of me.

My logical mind KNOWS I am not fat or overweight anymore, but I still feel that way. As far as eating, no one has said anything to me about what I am or am not eating. People (friends and co workers) know I eat low carb so when I don't eat cookies or chips, no one asks anything or makes comments about why I am not eating the goodies. I guess I lucked out there. *knock on wood*
__________________
As of 5/19/2014, No longer "overweight"!
~~~
Can now see my xylophone
~~~
Do not reward yourself with food, you're not a dog
~~~
Your great granny's granny had a term for healthy food...she called it food
Demonica is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2013, 10:51 AM   #10
Major LCF Poster!
 
avid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: treasure coast
Posts: 1,131
Gallery: avid
Stats: 180/134/131...
WOE: Lotsa veggies and LC
I know about the fat person who lives inside.
I was the fattest kid in my elementary school in 5th and 6th grade, and have had fluctuating weight issues ever since.
But I also think that people sometimes pick up on signals we send out.
If your uneasy with your slim figure and in some deep part of your mind a voice
is saying "this slim beautiful woman is not really me" then believe me, people can
sense that and shoot it like a bullet right back at you.
May I suggest that you buy some clothes that really make you feel attractive.
Wear them with your head held high and an attitude that says "I'm gorgeous and I know it"
Try it and see what comments you get.
__________________
Health conscious sixty something since September '12
avid is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2013, 01:24 PM   #11
Major LCF Poster!
 
raindroproses's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Lansing, MI
Posts: 1,053
Gallery: raindroproses
Stats: 5'6" - 203/151/150 - Size 14/6/4
WOE: NK (less than 20 total carbs daily)
Start Date: January 25th 2013
Quote:
Originally Posted by Demonica View Post
And I have never liked male attention because all that came from it was fat jokes. I still feel like, when I do get males looking at me, they are thinking to themselves about how fat I am and making fun of me.
Same way here! That's why I always wanted to dress in the baggiest, ugliest clothes I could find a majority of the time... I wanted to dress so that NO ONE would look at me. Because it never occurred to me that someone might be looking because they LIKED what they saw. To me, because of past experiences, it was always that someone was looking because they saw an imperfection and were thinking about how fat I looked in whatever I was wearing... or how I had a giant pimple on my face... or something similar. I still struggle with that to this day, but I'm working on it! It's definitely a work in progress sort of thing, and I hope we all get past that in our own minds some day entirely

It's like my SO always reminds me... we are our worst critics, and it's VERY likely no one's looking that closely at you except yourself!
raindroproses is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2013, 01:28 PM   #12
Major LCF Poster!
 
raindroproses's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Lansing, MI
Posts: 1,053
Gallery: raindroproses
Stats: 5'6" - 203/151/150 - Size 14/6/4
WOE: NK (less than 20 total carbs daily)
Start Date: January 25th 2013
Quote:
Originally Posted by avid View Post
I know about the fat person who lives inside.
I was the fattest kid in my elementary school in 5th and 6th grade, and have had fluctuating weight issues ever since.
But I also think that people sometimes pick up on signals we send out.
If your uneasy with your slim figure and in some deep part of your mind a voice
is saying "this slim beautiful woman is not really me" then believe me, people can
sense that and shoot it like a bullet right back at you.
May I suggest that you buy some clothes that really make you feel attractive.
Wear them with your head held high and an attitude that says "I'm gorgeous and I know it"
Try it and see what comments you get.
I think I've spent a fortune on clothes this past month or two trying to do just that! It really DOES help sometimes though to wear something that makes you FEEL as beautiful and as slim as you really are instead of that old negative image you still carry around.

I know when I wear a t-shirt around my apartment (like right now) that's fairly baggy, I find myself feeling a lot less confident now than I do when I wear something that's actually form fitting and flatters my figure. Compare THAT to before my transformation when I felt COMPLETELY uncomfortable with anything that even HINTED at the fact that my body had shape, and only felt comfortable with things that hung on me like a drape (so I could blame my clothes for why I looked so big, basically ) and I can see I've come a long way already
raindroproses is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2013, 02:04 PM   #13
Major LCF Poster!
 
marieze's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Lake Oswego, Oregon
Posts: 2,023
Gallery: marieze
Stats: 376/199/180
WOE: My way low carb!
Start Date: July 11th 2003
I've lost a lot of weight but had still been wearing large clothing. Recently, when I took off the last 65 pounds and started wearing form fitting clothes I started getting LOTS OF ATTENTION AND COMMENTS that while flattering, made me really uncomfortable.

I have been purchasing new clothes and underwear etc. and end up taking it back because everything I am buying is still 2 sizes larger than I really am. My mind has not really adjusted to my new size.

I have started wearing more form fitted clothing and am feeling good about it. But dang....or minds seem to want to REALLY want to hang on to our old heavy selves!!!
__________________
376/199/180
I've got a new attitude 12/04/06
And an even newer UPDATED attitude 9/1/2012
marieze is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2013, 03:23 PM   #14
Major LCF Poster!
 
Trillex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Ann Arbor, MI
Posts: 1,202
Gallery: Trillex
Stats: 235/135/135
WOE: Atkins
Start Date: 11 May 2012
I really don't have any insight into this situation. But I know you from the forum and think you are just a BEAUTIFUL person -- you're definitely one of my favorite people -- so I hope you can appreciate how sincerely lovely you are. Because you really are a lovely person!
Trillex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2013, 04:36 PM   #15
Senior LCF Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 383
Gallery: Rhubarb
Stats: 195/126/140
WOE: Atkins
Start Date: July 2012
Ditto what Trillex said.

I don't know how old you are, but I would just beg you and all the rest of you younger gals and guys who have these issues to work hard to get rid of them because it's a waste of your life to carry around a negative self-image. I did and I regret it so much. These days I look at pictures of myself when I was younger (both fat and thin) and all I see is a vital, healthy girl with shiny hair and nice skin and a sparkle in her eyes and I wish so much that I could have seen that girl then as I see her now.

Don't let other people or your own insecurities define you. Be kind to yourself. Life is short.
Rhubarb is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2013, 07:00 PM   #16
Major LCF Poster!
 
avid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: treasure coast
Posts: 1,131
Gallery: avid
Stats: 180/134/131...
WOE: Lotsa veggies and LC
avid is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2013, 03:57 AM   #17
Major LCF Poster!
 
baileygirl3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Where The Green Grass Grows
Posts: 1,690
Gallery: baileygirl3
Stats: 177/135/135
WOE: Low Carb
When I was younger I suffered from what you are talking about. This time around with my weight loss, I am taking it slow so hopefully my mind has time to catch up with everything that is going on. I am trying to realize that I am no longer that "fat" girl...arghh, hate that word "fat". Now when I look in the mirror, I try to see new thinner me looking at back at me. I know its hard sometimes. Good luck to you!
baileygirl3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2013, 05:00 AM   #18
A&F
Senior LCF Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 227
Gallery: A&F
Stats: 185/138.4/120
WOE: Atkins
Start Date: 7/12/11
Quote:
Originally Posted by avid View Post
May I suggest that you buy some clothes that really make you feel attractive.
Wear them with your head held high and an attitude that says "I'm gorgeous and I know it"
Try it and see what comments you get.


I noticed last year when I initially lost a bunch of weight, as it came off I was wearing the same clothes I always was. Thankfully, at the time I worked with a bunch of great girls that noticed my weight loss and encouraged (forced) me to go shopping for new clothes to show off, as they put it, my new rockin' bod. They would even go with me to help me pick out pieces and help break through the fat girl mindset that I couldn't wear smaller or more revealing clothes. If you don't have a fantastic group like this, I would highly recommend contacting one of the major department stores to see if they have personal shopping services.

When I would wear the new clothes, I got a TON of compliments on not only the clothes and how I looked in them, but more people noticed the weight loss (I was a bartender and was in front of the public every day). It helped chip away at the fat girl identity.

This time around, I work in an office with a bunch of guys. The first few months of the new job I put back on around 20 pounds and am working on getting them back off. This time around no one has noticed (or at least commented on) the weight coming off, but that's ok. This time around I don't need them to as much.

I do hope that you are able to find a way to deal with those external forces that keep giving you those messages. Know that you are beautiful and the universe loves you no matter what!
A&F is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2013, 08:45 AM   #19
Senior LCF Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 914
Gallery: Punkin
Stats: 160/95/100
WOE: NK or LC
Wow, to everyone who responded so far, I can't thank you enough! I have a completely new outlook on the situation. The truth is that I love being skinny, in fact I love the way I look in clothes now as compared to the way I used to look when I was overweight and self-conscious, which has been all my life. I didn't realize that these negative internal feelings were created by other people who were projecting their own negative feelings onto me, and making me not like my new look. It is so nice to be able to walk into a clothing store and be able to try on anything, and look reasonable good in it. It is my time for this experience! Other people will just have to buzz off! LOL.
Punkin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2013, 08:47 AM   #20
Senior LCF Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 914
Gallery: Punkin
Stats: 160/95/100
WOE: NK or LC
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trillex View Post
I really don't have any insight into this situation. But I know you from the forum and think you are just a BEAUTIFUL person -- you're definitely one of my favorite people -- so I hope you can appreciate how sincerely lovely you are. Because you really are a lovely person!
That's such a nice thing to say, thanks so much!
Punkin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2013, 05:17 PM   #21
Blabbermouth!!!
 
Hot Tamale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Chaos Ave. & Stress Blvd.
Posts: 5,827
Gallery: Hot Tamale
Stats: 389/183/174 (-206)
WOE: LowCarb & WLS (11/10)
Start Date: every 24 hours...
This thread was so interesting to read. I go back and forth from feeling pretty good one day to feeling like I'm still huge the next. Nice clothes help - and form-fitting clothes make me think twice about what is going in my mouth. I find my closest friends are very positive and, once the initial excitement of me losing the weight wore off, they have quietly learned to accept this is the new me. Other people, who watched me lose the weight, but didn't know me as well, have been odd. Some suddenly wanted to be my friend - suddenly I was not only thinner, I was also smarter, funnier, and did my job better. Other people make sarcastic (I guess) comments about it. For example, at a work potluck breakfast a while back, I walked in with a big tray of apples and bananas (versus donuts and danish...) and one lady called out, "Oh no, look, its Miss Healthy! Hide the sugary stuff!" I think things like this are said because people are actually feeling pretty self-conscious about themselves. People will also talk to me and almost immediately start explaining why they aren't "eating right," exercising, or they tell me about the new diet they are about to start. I put on a few pounds lately and so I'm currently doing what I need to do to lose them again. I am amazed at how many people try to disuade me from eating right and/or exercising! I am not judging them! They seem to be doing a good job judging me though! Bottom line? Answer to yourself and listen to yourself - and then be true to yourself and what you know you want.
__________________
The big question is: How badly do you want this!?!
"If it was easy everybody would be doing it." --Me!
“All that we are is the result of what we have thought...What we think we become.” Buddha
"No matter who you are, no matter what you do, you absolutely, positively do have the power to change." -Bill Phillips
The "easy way out" is the toughest thing I've ever done.
208 / 188 / 174 (-20)

Last edited by Hot Tamale; 04-25-2013 at 05:19 PM..
Hot Tamale is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2013, 06:33 PM   #22
Major LCF Poster!
 
Trillex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Ann Arbor, MI
Posts: 1,202
Gallery: Trillex
Stats: 235/135/135
WOE: Atkins
Start Date: 11 May 2012
Quote:
Originally Posted by avid View Post
I know about the fat person who lives inside.
I was the fattest kid in my elementary school in 5th and 6th grade, and have had fluctuating weight issues ever since.
But I also think that people sometimes pick up on signals we send out.
If your uneasy with your slim figure and in some deep part of your mind a voice
is saying "this slim beautiful woman is not really me" then believe me, people can
sense that and shoot it like a bullet right back at you.
May I suggest that you buy some clothes that really make you feel attractive.
Wear them with your head held high and an attitude that says "I'm gorgeous and I know it"
Try it and see what comments you get.
I actually thought of this post today because I saw one of my aunts, who always has old quotes for every situation, and I remembered a saying that we often use in Spanish, "Si no ensenas, no vendes." It basically translates to, "If you don't put it on display, nobody will buy it."

This "dicho" (saying) means different things in different contexts but one of the things it means is that for other people to see how beautiful you are as a person, you have to wear that beauty on your face and give the world a big, gorgeous smile even on days when you aren't feeling beautiful and happy.

I guess it's not really relevant, but I just wanted to mention it because it's one of my favorite quotes.
Trillex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2013, 04:41 AM   #23
A&F
Senior LCF Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 227
Gallery: A&F
Stats: 185/138.4/120
WOE: Atkins
Start Date: 7/12/11
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trillex View Post
I actually thought of this post today because I saw one of my aunts, who always has old quotes for every situation, and I remembered a saying that we often use in Spanish, "Si no ensenas, no vendes." It basically translates to, "If you don't put it on display, nobody will buy it."

This "dicho" (saying) means different things in different contexts but one of the things it means is that for other people to see how beautiful you are as a person, you have to wear that beauty on your face and give the world a big, gorgeous smile even on days when you aren't feeling beautiful and happy.

I guess it's not really relevant, but I just wanted to mention it because it's one of my favorite quotes.
Totally stole the quote as my Facebook status today.

Thanks!
A&F is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2013, 06:45 AM   #24
Major LCF Poster!
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,758
Gallery: nolcjunk
Stats: Whole foods lc, 110, 5'6
WOE: Atkins - it's a diet
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hot Tamale View Post
T I think things like this are said because people are actually feeling pretty self-conscious about themselves. People will also talk to me and almost immediately start explaining why they aren't "eating right," exercising, or they tell me about the new diet they are about to start. I put on a few pounds lately and so I'm currently doing what I need to do to lose them again. I am amazed at how many people try to disuade me from eating right and/or exercising! I am not judging them! They seem to be doing a good job judging me though! Bottom line? Answer to yourself and listen to yourself - and then be true to yourself and what you know you want.
That is so true- all of a sudden you making healthy choices for yourself becomes somehow a way that you are judging other people (according to them).

The best line has to be- but, you're so skinny, you don't need to be on a diet. Uh hello, how do you think I got and stay skinny?
nolcjunk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2013, 09:04 AM   #25
Senior LCF Member
 
Chuck41's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Hot Springs, AR
Posts: 254
Gallery: Chuck41
Stats: 6'2"-250/213.5/195
WOE: General Low Carb
Start Date: Dec, 31, 2012
Have you noticed how many people around you are obese today? It, and the accompanying diabetes and heart trouble are epidemic! Many of them are just jealous because they haven't found the courage to do what you have done.
Then there are the thin folks that think everyone with a weight problem is a fat lazy slob and those who used to have a weight problem are just in temporary remission before their inevitable reballooning. If they are commenting negatively, they either don't like the competition of the new beautiful you, or felt more secure in their own insecurities when they had a fat girl to wag their finger at.
I went to an Olive Garden with friends recently and told the waitress I was on low carb and asked for her suggestion. She said, "Honey, you are in the wrong restaurant! Did these people drag you here?" When I said yes she added "You need to find some new friends." I got a salad and she got a big tip! Since then my friends have been very supportive and I didn't have to say a word! Sweet.
There are lots of folks around that will love the new you. Don't let a few folks that want to build themselves up by tearing someone else down ruin your day. "Smart remarks" have never worked well for me, maybe because I am not smart enough. A simple statement of how their remark makes you feel tends to work wonders when delivered privately. If that doesn't work, follow that OG waitress' s advice.
Chuck41 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2013, 01:08 PM   #26
Junior LCF Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 41
Gallery: 46&2
Stats: 188/181/140
WOE: Low carb, high fat
Start Date: April 22nd 2013
As difficult as it is for people like us - who have been overweight for most of our lives - to stop identifying ourselves as being "a fat person" after we lose weight, I think it's even more difficult for the people around us, for some reason.

People who knew you when you were overweight, will keep seeing you as that same person even though you've lost weight, they might even subconciously be annoyed at you for changing, hence the comments.
46&2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2013, 01:23 PM   #27
Senior LCF Member
 
GAVIV's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 909
Gallery: GAVIV
Stats: RNY 12/26/12 234.4/148/125-130?
WOE: Trying to stay low carb as possible
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chuck41 View Post
Have you noticed how many people around you are obese today? It, and the accompanying diabetes and heart trouble are epidemic! Many of them are just jealous because they haven't found the courage to do what you have done.
Then there are the thin folks that think everyone with a weight problem is a fat lazy slob and those who used to have a weight problem are just in temporary remission before their inevitable reballooning. If they are commenting negatively, they either don't like the competition of the new beautiful you, or felt more secure in their own insecurities when they had a fat girl to wag their finger at.
I went to an Olive Garden with friends recently and told the waitress I was on low carb and asked for her suggestion. She said, "Honey, you are in the wrong restaurant! Did these people drag you here?" When I said yes she added "You need to find some new friends." I got a salad and she got a big tip! Since then my friends have been very supportive and I didn't have to say a word! Sweet.

There are lots of folks around that will love the new you. Don't let a few folks that want to build themselves up by tearing someone else down ruin your day. "Smart remarks" have never worked well for me, maybe because I am not smart enough. A simple statement of how their remark makes you feel tends to work wonders when delivered privately. If that doesn't work, follow that OG waitress' s advice.
Really love this!
GAVIV is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2013, 03:48 PM   #28
Senior LCF Member
 
Hooligan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Indiana
Posts: 636
Gallery: Hooligan
Stats: 245/210/145
WOE: Low Carb
Start Date: Restart: August 2, 2012
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhubarb View Post
Ditto what Trillex said.

I don't know how old you are, but I would just beg you and all the rest of you younger gals and guys who have these issues to work hard to get rid of them because it's a waste of your life to carry around a negative self-image. I did and I regret it so much. These days I look at pictures of myself when I was younger (both fat and thin) and all I see is a vital, healthy girl with shiny hair and nice skin and a sparkle in her eyes and I wish so much that I could have seen that girl then as I see her now.

Don't let other people or your own insecurities define you. Be kind to yourself. Life is short.
I cannot agree more with this post!!! When I was in high school I thought I was fat. Sure, I wasn't as skinny as my friends, but I was strong and muscular and shapely for a girl my age. Not stick thin. I look back at pictures of myself now and I want to cry for that girl. I can't help but think that if I knew then what I know now I wouldn't have spent those years yo-yoing with different low fat diets and feeling like a failure because I was always hungry. I think I wouldn't have the weight issues I have now if I didn't think I was fat back then. I recently showed some of my high school students pictures of me when I was younger and they all said "Wow! You were beautiful!" They were absolutely shocked that I thought I was fat.
__________________
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

~Robert Frost

My Journal...such as it is
245 240 235 230 225 220 215 210 205 200 195 190 185 180 175 170 165 160 155 150 145
Hooligan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2013, 04:32 PM   #29
Senior LCF Member
 
CTIgrad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: The wet-side of WA
Posts: 951
Gallery: CTIgrad
Stats: Hi:317.5 Current:255.8
WOE: Paleo
Start Date: 12/26/2012
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chuck41 View Post
Have you noticed how many people around you are obese today? It, and the accompanying diabetes and heart trouble are epidemic! Many of them are just jealous because they haven't found the courage to do what you have done.
Then there are the thin folks that think everyone with a weight problem is a fat lazy slob and those who used to have a weight problem are just in temporary remission before their inevitable reballooning. If they are commenting negatively, they either don't like the competition of the new beautiful you, or felt more secure in their own insecurities when they had a fat girl to wag their finger at.
I went to an Olive Garden with friends recently and told the waitress I was on low carb and asked for her suggestion. She said, "Honey, you are in the wrong restaurant! Did these people drag you here?" When I said yes she added "You need to find some new friends." I got a salad and she got a big tip! Since then my friends have been very supportive and I didn't have to say a word! Sweet.
There are lots of folks around that will love the new you. Don't let a few folks that want to build themselves up by tearing someone else down ruin your day. "Smart remarks" have never worked well for me, maybe because I am not smart enough. A simple statement of how their remark makes you feel tends to work wonders when delivered privately. If that doesn't work, follow that OG waitress' s advice.

That's awesome. I think I lol'd, or at least giggled.

At work we call it growing a thick skin. In my profession you have to have the don't give a S attitude or you won't make it. I've carried this into my life, and it helps with those people.

Tell it like it is, lay it out on the table. Those that support you will be by your side, and those that don't will continue to throw stones. Leave those people behind and forget about em. They weren't your friends to begin with anyway.
__________________
No beard?! NO REP!!!

My Weight Loss/Triathlon Training Blog: Or Die Trying...
CTIgrad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-28-2013, 05:28 AM   #30
Junior LCF Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: CO
Posts: 55
Gallery: PeeVee
Stats: started 280 down to 256 on WW now 253
WOE: atkins
Quote:
Originally Posted by CTIgrad View Post
That's awesome. I think I lol'd, or at least giggled.

At work we call it growing a thick skin. In my profession you have to have the don't give a S attitude or you won't make it. I've carried this into my life, and it helps with those people.

Tell it like it is, lay it out on the table. Those that support you will be by your side, and those that don't will continue to throw stones. Leave those people behind and forget about em. They weren't your friends to begin with anyway.
its interesting, in our line of work people go either really unhealthy and embrace it or go the polar opposite and run in the gym on every break. Not much middle ground.
PeeVee is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:31 AM.


Copyright ©1999-2014 Friends Forums LLC. All rights reserved. - Terms of Service | Privacy Policy
LowCarbFriends® is a registered mark of Friends Forums, LLC.