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raindroproses 04-05-2013 06:51 PM

Question for larger framed women...
 
So according to the charts you use to figure that sort of thing out, I have a rather large body frame (which honestly doesn't come as a surprise to me at all... it's not like my bone structure HIDES or something :laugh:) and I'm right at the bottom range of the "large" section. I also have bigger arms (mostly flab unfortunately right now on the upper ones, a bit of muscle on the lower) and rather large legs (again mostly the same, but I have a LOT of muscle in my legs!).

I guess my question to you other larger framed women is... do any of you really ever feel comfortable/think you look good in a dress? :o

I've always kind of figured maybe my aversion to them had something to do with how large my frame is/my weight or something... but as the weight is starting to come off, I just tried on a sundress at the store earlier today and :sick: I don't know. I wonder if I'll EVER enjoy the way I look in a dress? I don't own a single one! Every time I put one on I think I just look like a man in a dress (unless you look at my chest and face of course! LOL)

I'm wondering if this is a common aversion larger framed women have? Or if maybe it's just some sort of identity thing I have with myself, and maybe dresses will just never be for me :confused:

Ntombi 04-05-2013 08:14 PM

I wear dresses now, and at smaller weights. I look good in some, not in others. Like anyone else, you have to get the right style.

Like, spaghetti straps? No. They don't work for me, I need wider straps if I'm going sleeveless (I know some women won't, but I do sometimes). Belt? Not now. That doesn't work on my body type. V-necks look better on me than boats, as they elongate the neck, and show my cleavage. Wrap dresses tend to be flattering, but I like maxi dresses too. I prefer a little bit of flare on the skirt, but not a lot of volume. Pencil skirts look fab on some, but not on me. Like that, you just have to figure out what styles and shapes flatter you.

ravenrose 04-05-2013 08:16 PM

all of us look better in some things than others. if you can see that your proportions are not flattered by dresses as much as what you usually wear, just don't wear dresses!

it's hard when the fashion is for something that doesn't suit us, but heck, people wear every sort of thing every year, so it's not too hard to find something that looks great AND expresses your personality.

look at the bright side and wear those things. let someone else struggle with finding a flattering dress! LOL

Vilya 04-05-2013 08:16 PM

I'm a big-framed gal. Even after losing 100 lbs., I still wear a size 11 ring. I have size 10W feet.

I think I look GREAT in a dress! Especially now that the stomach fat is gone. When I was at my heaviest, I looked terrible, because I was totally ball-shaped, and a dress does not hang well on a ball. I looked much better in a skirt and top at that weight.

But in the 180's, with my body shape much more proportional, I love the way I look in a dress. In fact, I've bought 4 of them in the past year. :)

jazills 04-05-2013 08:28 PM

1 Attachment(s)
I'm very broad shouldered and I have musclar legs (thighs and calfs). I've never worn shorts and I feel I look terrible in a dress. Although I did find one dress this past christmas that i LOVED and it fit perfectly.

At my highest weight of 206. Picture is attached :)

raindroproses 04-05-2013 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jazills (Post 16357510)
I'm very broad shouldered and I have musclar legs (thighs and calfs). I've never worn shorts and I feel I look terrible in a dress. Although I did find one dress this past christmas that i LOVED and it fit perfectly.

At my highest weight of 206. Picture is attached :)

Oh my goodness that's adorable!! It does look fantastic on you :)

I'm almost wondering if I would be okay with something like that, a dress with some sort of thinner jacket type thing over top of it or something? Part of it is seeing my legs, but like you said... you have muscular legs and you rocked that dress! Maybe if I was able to cover my arms a little I'd feel better about it. I can't stand my arms being exposed in dresses (even in high school, I'd always wear a jacket!) even though I'm perfectly fine with tank tops for the most part. Very strange!

raindroproses 04-05-2013 08:51 PM

Thank you for your input everyone! I'm really thinking it's either just a matter of finding the right style, or dresses just not being "me" then :) I was just wondering if that was a common issue with larger framed women or just me being weird... although then again I always was a tomboy growing up, and I remain that way even today. Heck, I don't even like makeup :laugh:

It's just one of those things where every once in a while I start to think it might be nice to at least wear a dress once in a blue moon, just to shock everyone and show off a little! I'm sure people would fall out of their seats if I ever did, considering they see me in jeans/track pants and t-shirts/tank tops with or without a hoodie on day in and day out... it's like I don't own anything else (and I kinda sorta don't!) :hyst:

kiwistars 04-05-2013 08:56 PM

I have always had the same worries as I am straight up and down when skinny and a bigger blockier rectangle with a gut when heavy.I used to wear jeans as soon as I was old enough to take off my dresses and throw a fuss mind you so they were never my favourite.I have started to find the odd style now but it has taken most of my four decades to do so.:)

raindroproses 04-05-2013 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kiwistars (Post 16357536)
I have always had the same worries as I am straight up and down when skinny and a bigger blockier rectangle with a gut when heavy.I used to wear jeans as soon as I was old enough to take off my dresses and throw a fuss mind you so they were never my favourite.I have started to find the odd style now but it has taken most of my four decades to do so.:)

See, that's where I'm so weird I think... I'm kind of an hourglass I think! An hourglass with a belly anyway :laugh: But I actually HAVE curves, so I'm not sure where I get that "man in a dress" idea from. Maybe it's just that tomboy image I have for myself, or that uncomfortableness I still have with wearing the dresses that makes me cringe like that or something, I don't know. I do think my arms have a lot to do with it though :o

But seriously, here's a picture for reference (ignore the "before" image, LOL)... I think I'm hourglass? I really don't know, but I know I'm not rectangle so I have no idea where my self criticism comes from other than hating my legs/arms and thinking my big frame makes me mannish (and well, I WAS teased and called a man throughout school because of that and my lower toned voice, so that could be it too :cry:)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...ps600bc4e2.jpg

kiwistars 04-05-2013 09:07 PM

I think a vintage style dress would suit you.Tiny little nipped in waist(you have a great waist!) and a choice of cap sleeves,3/4 sleeves or a little bolero jacket depending on how you felt.
You would look so cute.

kiwistars 04-05-2013 09:08 PM

and they are really girly:)
Nothing makes you feel more girly than the swish of a crinoline or petticoat:)

raindroproses 04-05-2013 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kiwistars (Post 16357551)
I think a vintage style dress would suit you.Tiny little nipped in waist(you have a great waist!) and a choice of cap sleeves,3/4 sleeves or a little bolero jacket depending on how you felt.
You would look so cute.

Awww thank you! Oddly enough, my waistline has ALWAYS been one of the things that I've hated the most... although now that I'm losing I'm actually starting to discover that I actually HAVE a shape. I'm just not sure what it is yet :)

I'd have to look into something like that! I do love jackets though, and the bolero jackets are super cute with the right dress imo... I've actually never tried on a dress that had longer sleeves either, so if I could find one to try on that'd be something to look into too :)

I know back in the day I used to be stuck on wearing blazers, so I'm definitely no stranger to jackets as you can see in my "before" picture :laugh:

domesticbliss 04-05-2013 09:21 PM

I thought I was the only one! The only time I've ever felt comfortable in a dress is when it's tailored to me by a seamstress and can hide my lumpier zones, like a maxi for a pool coverup.
Generally I feel much more comfortable in a skirt, you can get the same ladylikeness and drape with the ability to add a top that is flattering, and have some movement room in your middle.

Your after picture is amazing- honestly you'd look great in a dress!

kiwistars 04-05-2013 09:27 PM

Actually I would love to see you all vintaged up.
Big thick curls,red lippy,cats eye eyeliner,Pin up dress.You would look too cute:)

jazills 04-05-2013 10:26 PM

I believe you and i hold the same self image and are built very similar. Ive fought for years to get out of my tomboy self image and love my curves as a woman. Im self concious about a lot of things about my body but its a uphill battle to try to do what works best for my body and my self talk.

You have a cute figure btw. Dresses are fun, especially with some cute heels :)

A&F 04-06-2013 05:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kiwistars (Post 16357551)
I think a vintage style dress would suit you.Tiny little nipped in waist(you have a great waist!) and a choice of cap sleeves,3/4 sleeves or a little bolero jacket depending on how you felt.
You would look so cute.

I had the exact same thought as soon as I saw your photo.

This style would look FANTASTIC on you!

JMacB 04-06-2013 05:51 AM

Have you ever worked with someone at a shop who could really help you find clothes for your body shape? Last time I was at a lower weight I needed a dress, and like you I wear jeans 99% of the time. I went to Belk's and had an appointment with a personal shopper. There was no extra charge and it was fantastic. She found things that I never would have found, and she also knew when sizes ran small or large, and brought me the right one. I highly recommend finding someone who can help you - makes all the difference in the world.

dariasen 04-06-2013 06:12 AM

For me it's not that I think I don't look good in a dress...it's the fact that I don't feel comfortable in one. It started with my weight self consciousness, and once I stopped worrying about that when I wear a dress I can't be me (Tomboy syndrome).
I looked good last year for my brother's wedding, down 40lbs and getting toned. I could have worn a dress, but I fought to wear a woman's tux (I was the best man). I was able to relax and be myself then worry about "being a lady".

avid 04-06-2013 06:21 AM

If I may...
When I first read your post I thought that you would be directed to some of the fashion catalogues for larger women, but seeing your photo i have to tell you that you have a great figure and look great in the jeans and tee shirt.
One thing that I have noticed over the years is that when women look in the mirror what they mostly see is their flaws.
I don't know if it's a cultural thing (being conditioned this way so ergo the 'need' to buy products) or if it's a lady thing everywhere. But I do know that for certain, women can be unfairly and unrealistically critical of themselves.
You look great.

Becky 04-06-2013 06:27 AM

I got down to 140 last year and looked OKAY in skirts and dresses but I also have a rather large frame (my thighs are big, my upper arms are big and I have no waist to speak of even though my stomach is flat)! Ugh! I'm back up hanging around 170 and look horrible in dresses and skirts, I think my shortness and long torso have something to do with it too but the extra weight doesn't help at all. I look okay in shorts though so that is a plus....:laugh:

mimivac 04-06-2013 06:29 AM

You have an ideal hourglass figure. Rock it, girl!

Becky 04-06-2013 06:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by avid (Post 16357823)
If I may...
When I first read your post I thought that you would be directed to some of the fashion catalogues for larger women, but seeing your photo i have to tell you that you have a great figure and look great in the jeans and tee shirt.
One thing that I have noticed over the years is that when women look in the mirror what they mostly see is their flaws.
I don't know if it's a cultural thing (being conditioned this way so ergo the 'need' to buy products) or if it's a lady thing everywhere. But I do know that for certain, women can be unfairly and unrealistically critical of themselves.
You look great.

You are a true gentleman! :heart:

I think it is true that we females look in the mirror and only see the lumps and bumps, we really should be less critical. I also thinks she looks GREAT!! :hugs:

raindroproses 04-06-2013 09:40 AM

@domesticbliss Aww thank you so much! :) And nope, you're definitely not the only one!

@kiwistars Oh my gosh, my SO probably wouldn't even know who I was! I don't think ANYONE would... although that might be fun for a night :laugh:

@jazills Aww thank you :)

@JMacB I never have, but I might have to consider that! I've always stayed SO far away from dresses ever since I was old enough to tell my mom "no" as a child... always always always pants and a t-shirt. My mom used to grumble all the time and tell me, "I wanted a girl!" :laugh:

@dariasen I'm seriously thinking that might be me! I do KNOW I have a certain way I carry myself and a certain image I have for myself, and it definitely is the sort that has me wearing jeans or blazers over dresses pretty much... it's just one of those things where I've ALWAYS wanted to "fit in" with other women on occasion and feel like I look good in feminine clothing. But like I said earlier, I don't even really like makeup or doing much with my hair so... :laugh: I always figured some of my body image had to do with my weight, but as that's coming off and I'm still feeling mostly the same I'm guessing it has a lot to do with identity too and my own personal style just skewing a bit more toward the masculine side of clothing a majority of the time!

@avid Oh my gosh, thank you so much for saying that... that honestly made my entire day :o I definitely do that all the time, nitpicking and searching for my flaws and letting them shine more than my assets. If I think something looks good at first glance, I usually sit there and analyze whether or not you can see ANYTHING I don't want you to see when I wear whatever it is and then try to find a way to talk myself out of wearing it if there's something there. It's like my SO and others always tell me... chances are, no one's even LOOKING as closely as I am when I'm self conscious about something and they probably don't even see what I'm seeing at all. I really appreciate the compliment and the perspective. It's easy to shrug it off when it comes from a family member or a SO because you oftentimes wonder if they're just saying those things to make you feel better... but it meant a lot coming from you, and everyone else on here so thank you! I really appreciate it :hugs:

@mimivac Awww and here I never knew I had a shape before! Thank you! :o

@Becky Thank you!! I definitely didn't expect to get any compliments when I asked about the dress issue, but it's really made me feel a lot better about things and I really appreciate it! Sometimes I don't always FEEL like I look great, but today I definitely do :) :hugs:

dariasen 04-06-2013 10:02 AM

There are many ways to "fit in" with a more feminine look without having to go the dress/skirt route. I feel sexier and more comfortable with myself in a nice fitting pair of jeans, heels and a nice top then I do in any form of skirt or dress (and trust me I've tried almost all styles of dresses and skirts in all sizes). When I go out with my "fancy girlfriends" (I live in worn-in jeans and graphic tees normally) I do the hair/makeup find what I feel sexy in and hit the town. I feel I fit in with them better feeling like me than I would trying to feel like them.
It's all about my confidence. Personally I feel when I try to copy them I look like a 8yo playing dress up in her mommy's clothes and it will ruin my girly time.

Demonica 04-06-2013 11:19 AM

I have a large frame. I HATE dresses!! I think my legs look like tree trunks! Even after losing 50 lbs I still hate the way I look in a dress. Which is kind of funny because when I was a young kid, you couldn't get me out of dresses even though I looked even more horrible in them back then.

raindroproses 04-06-2013 12:11 PM

Okay... I think I have to go back to the store tomorrow and buy this blazer to go with the skirt I bought. YES, I went shopping and bought myself a dress today (no pictures of that yet :laugh:) that I thought looked cute, AND a skirt! And best of all, I think I look cute in them even if I'm not 100% comfortable in them yet... I figure that'll come in time :)

I bought the skirt, and I have identical black v-necks at home so I didn't pick that up yet... but I thought the skirt was adorable, and really versatile! But I left the blazer behind because I was already spending about $100 in clothes and at the time I didn't think it looked that good on me (maybe it was the LOUD teal color?) but now that I look at the picture I took of myself in it, I actually can't stop thinking about the darn thing :laugh:

I don't know everyone... yay, or nay? I have no idea why I'm asking for fashion advice on here, but I figure everyone was so nice suggesting styles that might work for me that maybe someone would have some input :)

...I just hope they'd have it in my size if I went back tomorrow!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...ps2e122135.jpg

kiwistars 04-06-2013 12:50 PM

wow that looks amazing!The colour really pops and you have the best figure!

dariasen 04-06-2013 12:58 PM

I like the blazer just fine..... but that skirt look amazing on you!
Not to turn this into a fashion thread or sound like a criticizing fashionista because I'm far from it...but invest in some good bras too. Lifting "the girls" up a little will do wonders for a silhouette (actually will make you appear even slimmer) and may help your mental comfort rocking your new awesome outfits.

raindroproses 04-06-2013 01:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kiwistars (Post 16358379)
wow that looks amazing!The colour really pops and you have the best figure!

Awww thank you! :o I think I'm just about sold on buying it now, LOL. Reminds me of the last time I went to Victoria's Secret... I was told about a dozen times "No, that bra looks GREAT on you!" and I couldn't help but buy it at that point! :laugh:

raindroproses 04-06-2013 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dariasen (Post 16358386)
I like the blazer just fine..... but that skirt look amazing on you!
Not to turn this into a fashion thread or sound like a criticizing fashionista because I'm far from it...but invest in some good bras too. Lifting "the girls" up a little will do wonders for a silhouette (actually will make you appear even slimmer) and may help your mental comfort rocking your new awesome outfits.

Awww thank you!! I seriously LOVED the skirt, which is rare for me because I usually dislike skirts about as much as I dislike dresses... I thought it looked great too though :o

And yeah actually, I don't even HAVE a bra on in that picture :laugh: I'm usually so lazy I don't wear them when I'm just wandering around in a t-shirt and hoodie, but I definitely just bought a couple from Victoria's Secret a couple weeks ago and I LOVE them! I at least try to wear one whenever I dress nicer (i.e. when I'm not hiding my chest under layers of sweat clothes :laugh:) but you can probably get a picture of how girly I usually am NOT when I say that, LOL. I generally hate bras, hate makeup, don't do much with my hair, and don't usually wear skirts/dresses... I actually refused to carry a purse growing up too until I started driving and had too much to put in my pockets :hyst:


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