Low Carb Friends  
Netrition.com - Tools - Reviews - Faces - Recipes - Home


Go Back   Low Carb Friends > Main Lowcarb Lobby
Register FAQ Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-07-2013, 09:03 AM   #1
Blabbermouth!!!
 
Mimosa23's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Germany
Posts: 7,243
Gallery: Mimosa23
Stats: 227.2/185.5/160
WOE: Keto
... But it's WHOLE wheat!!!!


Really, I do not understand the stupidity or drive of some people forcing food on me. I am a terrible recipient of food, especially in our office. I only eat what I bring or buy myself. I don't partake in birthday cakes unless I made the cake. I don't eat chocolates that were brought into the office, etc etc. They still don't get it. I can explain every day. They STILL don't get it. I am seriously considering making a sign that says: NO CARBS, NO STARCH, NO SUGAR, NO GRAINS, DO NOT FEED THE CRAZY DUTCH HUMAN!!!

Especially something I cannot eat anyway! I was offered a cookie this afternoon, and said that I cannot eat it, as it contains wheat and sugar. The answer was actually: But it's WHOLE wheat!

Goes to show how indoctrinated people are into thinking if there are words like: whole, raw, organic, natural in front or behind it, it is absolutely perfectly normal to consider it a health food and thus it shoud be good for EVERYONE! (I so wish there was a smiley of doom right now) And of course it should then be eaten in LARGE quantities, because of the health, you know?

Sorry, another rant from me!
__________________
Do as I say, not do as I do... DEFINITELY not do as I do!!!

female, 38y/o, 5'10"

my blog:
http://crazybeautyhealth.blogspot.de/
Mimosa23 is offline   Reply With Quote

Sponsored Links
Old 03-07-2013, 09:14 AM   #2
Major LCF Poster!
 
theredhead's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Fort Worth, TX
Posts: 2,601
Gallery: theredhead
Stats: 229/152/150
WOE: Atkins/hCG/maintaining EASILY with JUDDD
Start Date: 09/04/03
I know what you mean. It makes me nuts, too!

Perhaps you could respond with, "yes, and whole wheat makes my blood sugar go crazy!" Of course, you don't really need to respond at all. People mean well, but they're really ignorant.
theredhead is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2013, 10:34 AM   #3
Major LCF Poster!
 
Low Carb Librarian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,901
WOE: Low Carb
Start Date: Restart: July 14,2014 Restart
I am not doing LC any more, but when I was I had the same problem.
It was like their memory was reset every day... One day they said they would slap my hand if they saw me pick up a cookie... The next day they offered me a cookie!
Low Carb Librarian is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2013, 11:01 AM   #4
.
 
ravenrose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: California
Posts: 9,664
Gallery: ravenrose
Stats: lost 130 lb so far, and miles to go before I sleep
WOE: low carb controlled calorie
Start Date: June, 2009
I'm one of those "can't keep her big mouth shut" types, so I acutally tell them that whole wheat is to refined wheat as light cigarettes are to regular cigarettes. They are BETTER, sure, but it's not like you would actually encourage someone not already set on using them to do it, you know?
ravenrose is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2013, 11:40 AM   #5
Senior LCF Member
 
biancasteeplechase's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Indianapolis
Posts: 248
Stats: 224/186/???
WOE: Nutritional Ketosis
Start Date: November 2012
I usually say "No thanks" in a friendly way. Too often, if you give a reason, people will start arguing with it. No reason = nothing to argue about.

(If they keep pushing it, I'll smile and say "It looks great.")
biancasteeplechase is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2013, 11:53 AM   #6
Senior LCF Member
 
fiddlejen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 157
Gallery: fiddlejen
Stats: 296 oh no!!/287/..a whole lot less!!..
WOE: Fast-5
Start Date: IF 2013->Atkins 2/20. 3/13 aiming for Atkins Again
"Awww, thank you so much, that's so kind of you!"
Take it on napkin, put it on desk where it's clearly visible.
Don't worry about temptation ... it's whole wheat? Yuck! Yucky Cookie.
Wait 5 or half-hour or however long, until they're not looking.
Break off half of cookie (or cake, or whatever it was) & throw it away. (Conceal it under a crumpled paper.)
Leave the other half visible on your desk for at least another hour before discarding it too.
When they ask if you liked it: "What a delicious cookie!"
Here, have another: "Oh, I'm not hungry / don't want to ruin my (lunch/dinner/etc)."
(This works for cakes too, and every other kind of office treats.)

The second time in a day that anyone offers you sweets, "Oh doesn't that look delicious... I don't really want any more treats today, but, thanks so much for offering."
fiddlejen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2013, 11:57 AM   #7
Major LCF Poster!
 
marieze's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Lake Oswego, Oregon
Posts: 2,030
Gallery: marieze
Stats: 376/199/180
WOE: My way low carb!
Start Date: July 11th 2003
Quote:
Originally Posted by biancasteeplechase View Post
I usually say "No thanks" in a friendly way. Too often, if you give a reason, people will start arguing with it. No reason = nothing to argue about.

(If they keep pushing it, I'll smile and say "It looks great.")
This.....And I just say I'm not hungry....worst case scenario if they keep pushing....I'd take it and throw it in the trash.

Explaining your eating to them just encourages them further, I believe. Or just say, I'm diabetic!
marieze is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2013, 12:01 PM   #8
Senior LCF Member
 
fiddlejen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 157
Gallery: fiddlejen
Stats: 296 oh no!!/287/..a whole lot less!!..
WOE: Fast-5
Start Date: IF 2013->Atkins 2/20. 3/13 aiming for Atkins Again
It helps to realize, the reason people push sweets & treats, is because it gives them permission to have some too. Even people at their own desks. We've all been taught as children that we can't eat special treats (except at lunchtime) unless we share it. That's why people keep trying to push their treats on other people.

You can actually have more of a positive influence on other people by leaving your cookie or cake--uneaten, or with a bit broken off (faux-bite)--on your desk for a while. Then they will not be upset at you for not participating. Instead our human psychology will see that as friendly and participatory, while the natural copycat-mechanism of our psychology will encourage others to copy You in indulging Less. You won't see this effect right away, but over time if you consistently accept but don't indulge, or else refuse with compliments, other people will start doing the same. And/or, they will stop offering, which is just as good!
fiddlejen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2013, 12:07 PM   #9
Senior LCF Member
 
Just Beachy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 72
Gallery: Just Beachy
Stats: 226.5/166/145
WOE: LC/MP/HF (NK)
Start Date: July, 29, 2012
Quote:
Originally Posted by biancasteeplechase View Post
I usually say "No thanks" in a friendly way. Too often, if you give a reason, people will start arguing with it. No reason = nothing to argue about.

(If they keep pushing it, I'll smile and say "It looks great.")
This. They may have even gone to extra trouble to use the whole grain specifically for you. If they pursue it, just repeat, in a friendly way, that you do not eat any kind of wheat -- even whole wheat, but thank you for thinking of me.

Eventually, people will learn. I also don't use the word "can't." I say I don't eat any grains or sugars. I feel "can't" implies that you would like to, but well...., can't for some reason beyond your control. Therefore perhaps if it was whole wheat (or gluten free or whatever) you could eat it and would want to.

It took awhile, but people no longer offer me things they know I don't want. Usually, they will bring things out and say something along the lines of, "I'd offer you some, but I know you don't eat this."

Beachy
Just Beachy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2013, 12:18 PM   #10
Major LCF Poster!
 
synger's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,412
Gallery: synger
Stats: Start: 310 Current: 259
WOE: Calorie and carb counting, IR Diet framework
Start Date: IR/PCOS: Dx pre-diabetic 3/2010
Quote:
Originally Posted by fiddlejen View Post
It helps to realize, the reason people push sweets & treats, is because it gives them permission to have some too. Even people at their own desks. We've all been taught as children that we can't eat special treats (except at lunchtime) unless we share it. That's why people keep trying to push their treats on other people.

You can actually have more of a positive influence on other people by leaving your cookie or cake--uneaten, or with a bit broken off (faux-bite)--on your desk for a while. Then they will not be upset at you for not participating. Instead our human psychology will see that as friendly and participatory, while the natural copycat-mechanism of our psychology will encourage others to copy You in indulging Less. You won't see this effect right away, but over time if you consistently accept but don't indulge, or else refuse with compliments, other people will start doing the same. And/or, they will stop offering, which is just as good!
Very good points. And easy to forget. Thank you!
synger is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2013, 02:20 AM   #11
Blabbermouth!!!
 
Mimosa23's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Germany
Posts: 7,243
Gallery: Mimosa23
Stats: 227.2/185.5/160
WOE: Keto
I have been saying no thanks for ages. They usually ask why not. So I patiently explain. I think people withouth allergies and intolerances to food items forget that even just this once, or even just a little bit will do a lot of harm. They don't know, and I know I should be patient, but it's getting a little old. I mean, it's not as if this has been an issue since last week.

And I will not be taking food and not eating it to either set an example by not eating it, or to be polite. We are in a very small office (8 people) and I am the only real fattie here, so it's not as if they are doing it to make themselves feel better for indulging. They are doing it out of ignorance and disinterest.

I think this is a common problem in our society. I would really like to make a mark and help people be healthier, etc. But apart from being annoyingly meddlesome, I see no way. I am trying to lead by example and hopefully the interest in my WOE will grow, and people may be willing to try it out. I am not one of those people who talk about their WOE unasked. I would find that annoying when other people do that to me.

I just wanted to rant a little as it gets so tiring and old to have the same conversation again and again and again. Anyway, I guess I am going to have to show them by getting healthy and lose this weight, maybe then they will understand better, LOL!
Mimosa23 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2013, 08:16 AM   #12
Chatty Cathy
 
clackley's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Ontario
Posts: 17,234
Gallery: clackley
Stats: 228.5/168/125
WOE: N.K.=vlc/hf/moderate protein & organic/pastured
Start Date: Restart Oct 18 2009
As long as the 'conventional wisdom' keeps pushing 'whole grain, healthy grains' as a healthful foods, the belief will be that it is healthy (despite the fact that it also has SUGAR).

It feels like finger nails on a chalkboard everytime I hear it in the media (which is daily in one form or another). Just keep your answer simple and direct.
clackley is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2013, 10:11 AM   #13
Senior LCF Member
 
fiddlejen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 157
Gallery: fiddlejen
Stats: 296 oh no!!/287/..a whole lot less!!..
WOE: Fast-5
Start Date: IF 2013->Atkins 2/20. 3/13 aiming for Atkins Again
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mimosa23 View Post
And I will not be taking food and not eating it to either set an example by not eating it, or to be polite. We are in a very small office (8 people) and I am the only real fattie here, so it's not as if they are doing it to make themselves feel better for indulging. They are doing it out of ignorance and disinterest.
...
Anyway, I guess I am going to have to show them by getting healthy and lose this weight, maybe then they will understand better, LOL!
Thirteen years ago when I did Atkins the first time (the strict way) and lost a lot of weight, I worked in a small office (about 5 people). My "take & don't eat" procedure is what I did then. It worked there, and more recently when I was getting back to low-carb in an office with 50+ folks, it worked there too.

I did it for politeness, and on the principle that I would only explain myself if someone asked who was genuinely interested in learning what I was doing. My goal was not to have an influence on anyone, but, I did.

Of course, there's no reason for you to do that if you don't want to. It's absolutely true that when people see you lose weight they will want to understand better!*

But, anyone in an office will find any diet is much less stressful for themself and for others by getting in the habit of at least saying, "Oh yes that looks wonderful, thank you, however I don't really want any right now."

*(Of course, even after you've become a skinny-minny, some people will still not be genuinely interested. That's also human nature, because you will have lost weight by giving up something that they don't want to give up. And you'll be the example right in front of them, so they will still tell you why you were wrong.)

Last edited by fiddlejen; 03-08-2013 at 10:22 AM.. Reason: clarity
fiddlejen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2013, 10:24 AM   #14
Way too much time on my hands!
 
kristina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Washington State
Posts: 28,788
Gallery: kristina
Stats: 250/238.5/140
WOE: Weight Watchers online along with Atkins
Start Date: September 12 2014
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mimosa23 View Post

Really, I do not understand the stupidity or drive of some people forcing food on me. I am a terrible recipient of food, especially in our office. I only eat what I bring or buy myself. I don't partake in birthday cakes unless I made the cake. I don't eat chocolates that were brought into the office, etc etc. They still don't get it. I can explain every day. They STILL don't get it. I am seriously considering making a sign that says: NO CARBS, NO STARCH, NO SUGAR, NO GRAINS, DO NOT FEED THE CRAZY DUTCH HUMAN!!!

Especially something I cannot eat anyway! I was offered a cookie this afternoon, and said that I cannot eat it, as it contains wheat and sugar. The answer was actually: But it's WHOLE wheat!

Goes to show how indoctrinated people are into thinking if there are words like: whole, raw, organic, natural in front or behind it, it is absolutely perfectly normal to consider it a health food and thus it shoud be good for EVERYONE! (I so wish there was a smiley of doom right now) And of course it should then be eaten in LARGE quantities, because of the health, you know?

Sorry, another rant from me!
I hear ya!! I was at a picnic once. A lady made a dish that I couldn't eat. "But, it has TOMATOES!! Tomatoes are GOOD for you!!!" and then, proceeded to tell me how I should lose weight. people
kristina is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2013, 01:15 PM   #15
Senior LCF Member
 
Just Russ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Southern New England
Posts: 272
Gallery: Just Russ
Stats: Restart 7.2.14 * 249#
WOE: Atkins 72, controlled portions
Start Date: Original start 2000, 252/168
I'm retired so I don't encounter this as much... but even my much beloved ATKINS bars... are modified carbs... but they are STILL carbs! Atkins bars will trigger cravings for me. That's why "NO, I can't eat just one!" is in my signature.

For years my doctor has encouraged me to lose weight... he was very pleased back in 2000. I'd already been on Atkins & lost substantial weight when I was him. He kind of rolled his eyes when I told him I was on Atkins... but in the end, he said ok if that works for you.
This time he is much more supportive. I think he's probably seen other success's in the interviening years.

I would not encourage others to offer you treats. I don't know what you say? I might just say I'm following doctor's instructions.
__________________
"Eat all you need to not be hungry, eat only what you need to not be hungry... eat on plan." Dr Atkins Diet Revolution @1972

"NO, I CAN'T EAT JUST ONE!" "Lead me not into carb temptation!"

Multiple Sclerosis Dx 2001 *a lot of meds* now SP * Able to stand & shuffle a few steps with support: does not = meaningful exercise. Harder to do by just WOE... but gotta stay ON it.
Just Russ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2013, 02:13 PM   #16
Senior LCF Member
 
Jakelilydad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: New York's Hudson Valley
Posts: 429
Gallery: Jakelilydad
WOE: low carbs
Start Date: Feb 2012
Wow, I like the "I'm following Doctor's instructions" line. But I, too, am tired of people offering me food that they know I don't eat. I think that most people know that "treats" are bad for you (especially if loaded with flour and sugar), and, as said above, if you eat it it gives them permission to eat it too. If you say you can't eat it, that either means something like an allergy or because it is not on your diet, although the not on the diet can't is usually interpreted as you can cheat "just this once". So the Dr.'s Orders line may make people think twice (assuming they think at all), and has the added benefit of passing the buck of responsibility. Frustrating? Yes!
Jakelilydad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2013, 03:22 PM   #17
Fat Burning Machine Extraordinaire!
 
DiamondDeb's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 74,792
Gallery: DiamondDeb
Stats: 125+ lbs lost
No reason should be necessary but if "no thanks" doesn't work "I'm not hungry" usually does.

Lies tend to come back & hit one in the face so that is not a good idea.

If they don't know my reasons already they don't know me well enough to be told.
DiamondDeb is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2013, 04:04 PM   #18
Gadget Gal
 
Charski's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Mostly in the kitchen!
Posts: 39,824
Gallery: Charski
Stats: 174 (WW)/145/150 goal 5'5"
WOE: ATKINS, or a slight variation thereof
Start Date: May 2003
Accepting it and pretending you ate part of it is just further invitation for that person, and any others who witnessed it, to push further carbage on you.

I've always found that "No, thanks!" with a smile generally does the trick. Further push gets from me, "NO. Thanks." No smile this time. One MORE push gets the icy stare and NO comment. Usually gets the point across.

I also use "don't" instead of "can't" if someone I really care about wants to know why. "I don't eat any form of wheat or sugar" usually is all they care to know. Saying "I CAN'T eat any form or wheat or sugar" gets the same result as above - "Oh, just try ONE. It won't hurt you!" Or "I made this special - just have a bite!"

It IS annoying but you can't expect other people to "get it" and yes, they DO forget - I can't count the times I've told my Dad what we don't eat but every time he asks us over for dinner, I hear, "Can YOU PEOPLE eat potatoes?" or whatever. Cracks me up. Who the heck are "YOU PEOPLE" anyway?!
__________________
It's easy to be miserable. Being happy takes more work. ~~from Ondine, the movie~~

Veni, vidi, velcro - I came, I saw, I stuck.

I reject your reality and substitute my own! ~~ Adam on Mythbusters
Charski is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2013, 04:52 PM   #19
Blabbermouth!!!
 
Ntombi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Boston, then OH, then NYC, now SoCal. Whew!
Posts: 38,397
Gallery: Ntombi
Stats: Restart: 360/284.4/190
WOE: Atkins for weight loss, NK for maintenance.
Start Date: Restarted: 1-3-13 Original: 8-23-02
I'm constantly amazed at the stories of food pushing I hear on this board. I don't know why it's so different for me, but I get offered food, I say no thanks, and that's the end of it. I would not take kindly to someone trying to insist that I eat something, anything.

I have several potentially deadly food allergies, and sometimes even my close family members forget what I can't eat. If they offer something that's on my CAN'T, not don't, list, I remind them why I'm turning it down, but that's the only time I offer any explanation at all.
__________________
<-- Buddy
Ntombi: 5'6˝" 40 years old
Started Atkins 8-23-02 325+
bought scale 9-7-02: 318/259.6/180?

Diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (and other conditions) Summer 2005 after years of misdiagnoses--> food plan went out the window!
Restarted--again--January 3, 2013.
Ntombi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2013, 04:55 PM   #20
Chatty Cathy
 
clackley's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Ontario
Posts: 17,234
Gallery: clackley
Stats: 228.5/168/125
WOE: N.K.=vlc/hf/moderate protein & organic/pastured
Start Date: Restart Oct 18 2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ntombi View Post
I'm constantly amazed at the stories of food pushing I hear on this board. I don't know why it's so different for me, but I get offered food, I say no thanks, and that's the end of it. I would not take kindly to someone trying to insist that I eat something, anything.

I have several potentially deadly food allergies, and sometimes even my close family members forget what I can't eat. If they offer something that's on my CAN'T, not don't, list, I remind them why I'm turning it down, but that's the only time I offer any explanation at all.
I have a branch of my family that it seems that food = love. It is hard for those to understand. It is also useful to remember that a lot of people from the older generation don't understand that 'health foods' like whole grains are actually unhealthy or a problem of any type.
clackley is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2013, 04:58 PM   #21
Blabbermouth!!!
 
Ntombi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Boston, then OH, then NYC, now SoCal. Whew!
Posts: 38,397
Gallery: Ntombi
Stats: Restart: 360/284.4/190
WOE: Atkins for weight loss, NK for maintenance.
Start Date: Restarted: 1-3-13 Original: 8-23-02
I definitely get the food=love thing, but not going beyond offering it.

For instance, I've been going through some health stuff, and got some bad news this week. I updated my stepmom via e-mail as I was leaving the doctor, and her response was "Oh my god. Do you want ice cream?"



I just sent a reply saying nope, but thanks, and that was it. Her go-to response to big news, good or bad, is food. I try to take her support it in the spirit in which its offered, but still turn down the food.
Ntombi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2013, 05:05 PM   #22
Chatty Cathy
 
clackley's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Ontario
Posts: 17,234
Gallery: clackley
Stats: 228.5/168/125
WOE: N.K.=vlc/hf/moderate protein & organic/pastured
Start Date: Restart Oct 18 2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ntombi View Post
I definitely get the food=love thing, but not going beyond offering it.

For instance, I've been going through some health stuff, and got some bad news this week. I updated my stepmom via e-mail as I was leaving the doctor, and her response was "Oh my god. Do you want ice cream?"



I just sent a reply saying nope, but thanks, and that was it. Her go-to response to big news, good or bad, is food. I try to take her support it in the spirit in which its offered, but still turn down the food.
Sorry you got bad news. You are on a path that can help a lot of health issues and hopefully that is the case for you now.
clackley is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2013, 06:56 AM   #23
Senior LCF Member
 
Just Russ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Southern New England
Posts: 272
Gallery: Just Russ
Stats: Restart 7.2.14 * 249#
WOE: Atkins 72, controlled portions
Start Date: Original start 2000, 252/168
My last Dr's appointment, we talked about my weight & need to lose it. And several failed diets most recent over the last 2 years. The Dr put it in my chart & I got a print out. "Low Carb diet which he has success with in the past". So if it's not in my LC plan, it is against my Dr's instructions.
Just Russ is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:48 PM.


Copyright ©1999-2014 Friends Forums LLC. All rights reserved. - Terms of Service | Privacy Policy
LowCarbFriends® is a registered mark of Friends Forums, LLC.