Having a REALLY, REALLY, REALLY tough time with...

marieze · 03-06-2013, 05:11 PM

My TEENAGE son!!!!! This is pretty pathetic, but I'm writing this through tears and patting myself on the back at the same time

My son and I have hit a HUGE bump in our road and I have not once turned to my old friend....food. I'm a single mom and I now have two jobs. They both have flexibility in that I work from home and can still pick my son up after school and maintain all my mom stuff.

We had a full on blow out today when I picked him up for early release from school on the way to our favorite place for lunch. I hadn't eaten all day and was starving and he ordered a big batch of hot onion rings to start with covered in parmesan cheese....then he had chicken fried steak with french fries in gravy. No, we don't live in the south

I ordered the cobb salad with ranch dressing, hold the diced tomatoes please. I took half home for dinner.

It made me realize how committed I have been and despite all the stress I have been under the last 6 to 8 months, I haven't eaten off plan once.

For me, that is absolutely incredible as "stress or anxiety" has always been my reason/excuse for over eating, as if I had earned the food.

This really is a milestone for me and shows me that I, for once, am really taking care of myself. And it feels really, really good!

Ntombi · 03-06-2013, 05:22 PM

Congratulations, on both the perseverance and the revelation!

And I hope things get much better for you soon!

Julie1972 · 03-06-2013, 05:27 PM

Way to stay strong!! KUTGW!!

sillykimmie · 03-06-2013, 05:50 PM

First

I'm sorry you're having a rough time with your son.
Second, and very important, Way to go on making a responsible food choice!!

You are so worth it!

shelby'snana · 03-06-2013, 05:53 PM

You should be so proud of yourself !! And as the mother of 2 boys , grown now, I hope things get easier soon ...... I have lots of gray hair (haha). Kuddos on being a single parent with 2 jobs too...... that's amazing.

Chocolate Rose · 03-06-2013, 06:52 PM

Kudos to you!!!

I know how hard it is to deal with a teen daughter and I've heard that sons can be more difficult. Congratulations on making it through a tough afternoon.

Kimberli33 · 03-06-2013, 07:11 PM

It will get better

Survivor of 3 Beautiful,Stubborn,Fearless teen Dds

They had me looking like this more times than not

Now they are married and I get to hug and kiss the grandbabies while they tell me how WONDERFUL I am

so alls well.

marieze · 03-06-2013, 08:13 PM

Oh Kimberli.....it seems like a lifetime until I get there

svenskamae · 03-06-2013, 08:32 PM

Marieze, I'm sorry that you are going through a tough time,

but you should be so proud of yourself for staying on plan and eating healthy lowcarb food even during the most difficult days.

If you can do it now, you can do it anytime--and you can do it for the rest of a long, healthy, slim life, too. Congratulations on doing so well, and keep up the great work.

marieze · 03-06-2013, 08:58 PM

I'm not one to typically feel sorry for myself or see myself as a victim, but lately I want to stand on a mountaintop and scream, "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH ALREADY"

Strawberry · 03-06-2013, 09:41 PM

CONGRATS on sticking with your diet!!!

I just want to add... I butted heads with my mother NONSTOP around the ages of 16-18.... until I moved out. Just stand firm with your son and do what you know is right as a mother. I now appreciate my mom. Once your son matures a little more and gains a few more years, he will look back and appreciate all the love and discipline and rules and morals you gave him.

itzme91 · 03-06-2013, 09:46 PM

Congrats on staying strong! Prayers for you and your Son,as others have already saidit will get better! I raised 2 dd's

and survived!

Mimosa23 · 03-07-2013, 12:08 AM

Sending

and

at the same time! Congratulations on staying strong in difficult times! That is a great achievement!

Stardust · 03-07-2013, 01:40 AM

Oh well done you, that is fabulous! So sorry you are having trouble with your son though, we have a 15yr old lad too (my step son), can be challenging!

CarefreeGal · 03-07-2013, 05:27 AM

Congratulations for being strong and sticking to your plan! Teenage boys have a lot of hormones racing through their bodies (and they're hungry ALL the time) so sometimes they're incredibly hard to deal with. But, you're doing what he needs the most and that is being a mom and being there for him

.

You'll get through this and your efforts will be rewarded as you come out the other end having raised a fine young man!

Sending you good thoughts..

clackley · 03-07-2013, 05:58 AM

Good for you!! Teenagers are basically insane - literally. Their brains are still growing. Handle with care!!!

CBC -The Nature of Things with David Suzuki - - Surviving

The Teenage Brain

JMacB · 03-07-2013, 06:33 AM

...and this is why I plan to send my son to boarding school.

cathlaur · 03-07-2013, 12:14 PM

Oh man I feel your pain though mine is a 17 year old daughter. I sometimes want to scream and pull my hair out. BUT things are slowly starting to change and I hope once she moves out to College in the fall she will grow up a bit.
Though I am married with a great husband so hats off to you for doing it alone you rock!

We will one day look back at these years and laugh RIGHT LOL LOL LOL

natural_born_texan · 03-07-2013, 03:05 PM

[QUOTE=No, we don't live in the south[/QUOTE] <<<hey, hey now....living in the South is actually a very good thing!

I commend you on sticking with the salad at lunch, that is a big deal, particularly under stressful situations.

My heart goes out to you regarding the difficulties you're having with your teenager. Hang in there because it will surely pass.

(I have a 9 and 11 yr. old, and I'm already bracing myself for those rough times--I see them coming.)

babycakez · 03-07-2013, 07:43 PM

It takes a lot of courage to sit through that. You've done so well. Congrats.

kristina · 03-07-2013, 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marieze

I'm not one to typically feel sorry for myself or see myself as a victim, but lately I want to stand on a mountaintop and scream, "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH ALREADY"

it's been a few years since I've dealt with my own teenage son (and daughter too) but I wasn't single.That has to be so difficult

way to stay strong though with your food!!

baileygirl3 · 03-08-2013, 03:59 AM

Congrats on hanging in there! My son is 13. I feel your pain

marieze · 03-08-2013, 09:23 AM

You guys really are the BEST! I know we all have our challenges, but dang, kids can be a tough one!

Don't get me wrong; I couldn't ask for a better son....compassionate, loving, ethical, bright etc.....but then there is that other, hormonal, mouthy side to the guy that sends me into a tailspin

All your responses have warmed my heart....thanks again, friends!

Charski · 03-08-2013, 03:15 PM

Marieze, you did GREAT, woman!

Be proud, be very very proud of yourself for not caving and turning to food. Things like this always remind me of a quote my old WW leader liked - if hunger is not the problem, then food is not the answer. How right she was!

As for teenage sons - I got my stepson at age 12. DH had full custody of him. He was like yours - very bright, generally a good guy, great student, never a problem with drugs or anything - but the eyeroll, the sarcastic comments - oh man!! I thought I'd NEVER get through it.

Now here I am, he'll be 31 in a couple weeks, and I'm wondering where the HECK did all THAT time go?!

You'll make it - hang in there and keep up the fantastic work!

Maryposa · 03-08-2013, 03:29 PM

Now that is what I call a Non-Scale VICTORY! That is awesome. I am sorry to hear about the rough time you're having with your son, but I am glad you see the silver lining

DiamondDeb · 03-08-2013, 03:35 PM

WTG taking care of yourself!

No advice on your son; I don't have kids but I was a teen once and know it is tough for parents. You'll both get through this.

Janknitz · 03-08-2013, 10:27 PM

Congratulations on not eating your troubles.

I just survived one teenager (she's 20) and have a new one just starting (she's 12). What was I thinking???

Actually I have great kids, but that doesn't mean they are not obnoxious, jekyll and hyde style. I had to keep reminding myself that it's the teens job to pull away from the parents to be able to grow into an independent human being. It's a painful process for all involved, but if you stay connected (as your post clearly shows) they eventually become human again.

Deep breaths, and be good to yourself. You will survive, and so will he.

flagman1776 · 03-09-2013, 05:48 AM

I survived 2 step children... both of which make us proud today. It was not always this way.

debstin · 03-09-2013, 09:47 AM

I remember those teen age years,was on my knees alot. It sounds like you are making a lot of good decisions. And unfortunately, you can't always be your teenagers friend as you have to be their parent. Tough job some days. When how hard it is begins to fade in memory, you will actually long for those days back at times. I have a friend who says,"And this too shall pass..........and something worse will happen." Lol I imagine someday, your son will thank you for his raising and you will see him become an awesome young man. Sounds like you are making a lot of good decisions and doing okay!!! Hang in there,rewards will follow.

enna1477 · 03-09-2013, 04:12 PM

Having gone through those teenage years myself and (as my own mother decreed) suffered through two teens that were easily twice as cheeky and disrespectful as I was, I have a theory. Many kids pick fights with their parents because it makes saying goodbye when it's time to go out and start their own less painful for them.

Hang tight. Kids give you a wild ride and then one day they end up being perfectly nice people that you want to be around. I always loved my kids but there were plenty of times I didn't like them very much!

03-06-2013, 05:11 PM	#1
marieze Major LCF Poster! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Lake Oswego, Oregon Posts: 1,887 Gallery: marieze Stats: 370/220/180 WOE: My way low carb! Start Date: July 11th 2003	Having a REALLY, REALLY, REALLY tough time with... My TEENAGE son!!!!! This is pretty pathetic, but I'm writing this through tears and patting myself on the back at the same time My son and I have hit a HUGE bump in our road and I have not once turned to my old friend....food. I'm a single mom and I now have two jobs. They both have flexibility in that I work from home and can still pick my son up after school and maintain all my mom stuff. We had a full on blow out today when I picked him up for early release from school on the way to our favorite place for lunch. I hadn't eaten all day and was starving and he ordered a big batch of hot onion rings to start with covered in parmesan cheese....then he had chicken fried steak with french fries in gravy. No, we don't live in the south I ordered the cobb salad with ranch dressing, hold the diced tomatoes please. I took half home for dinner. It made me realize how committed I have been and despite all the stress I have been under the last 6 to 8 months, I haven't eaten off plan once. For me, that is absolutely incredible as "stress or anxiety" has always been my reason/excuse for over eating, as if I had earned the food. This really is a milestone for me and shows me that I, for once, am really taking care of myself. And it feels really, really good! __________________ 370/220/180 I've got a new attitude 12/04/06 And an even newer UPDATED attitude 9/1/2012

03-06-2013, 07:11 PM	#7
Kimberli33 Blabbermouth!!! Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Montana Posts: 7,497 Gallery: Kimberli33 Stats: 200 /166/149? 5ft 6 1/2 in. Age 42 WOE: LC-My Way start 1/27 then JUDDD on 3/12 2 171.5lbs Start Date: Jan 27,2013 at 199 for the LAST time!	It will get betterSurvivor of 3 Beautiful,Stubborn,Fearless teen Dds They had me looking like this more times than notNow they are married and I get to hug and kiss the grandbabies while they tell me how WONDERFUL I am so alls well.

03-06-2013, 08:58 PM	#10
marieze Major LCF Poster! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Lake Oswego, Oregon Posts: 1,887 Gallery: marieze Stats: 370/220/180 WOE: My way low carb! Start Date: July 11th 2003	I really appreciate everyone's feedback.... I'm not one to typically feel sorry for myself or see myself as a victim, but lately I want to stand on a mountaintop and scream, "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH ALREADY"

03-08-2013, 03:15 PM	#24
Charski Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Mostly in the kitchen! Posts: 34,187 Gallery: Charski Stats: 174 (WW)/139/150 goal 5'5" 59 years YOUNG! WOE: ATKINS always Start Date: May 2003	Marieze, you did GREAT, woman! Be proud, be very very proud of yourself for not caving and turning to food. Things like this always remind me of a quote my old WW leader liked - if hunger is not the problem, then food is not the answer. How right she was! As for teenage sons - I got my stepson at age 12. DH had full custody of him. He was like yours - very bright, generally a good guy, great student, never a problem with drugs or anything - but the eyeroll, the sarcastic comments - oh man!! I thought I'd NEVER get through it. Now here I am, he'll be 31 in a couple weeks, and I'm wondering where the HECK did all THAT time go?! You'll make it - hang in there and keep up the fantastic work! __________________ It's easy to be miserable. Being happy takes more work. ~~from Ondine, the movie~~ Veni, vidi, velcro - I came, I saw, I stuck. I reject your reality and substitute my own! ~~ Adam on Mythbusters

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03-06-2013, 05:22 PM	#2
Ntombi Blabbermouth!!! Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Boston, then OH, then NYC, now SoCal. Whew! Posts: 35,161 Gallery: Ntombi Stats: Restart: 360/321/185 WOE: Atkins works when I work it. Start Date: Restarted: 1-3-13 Original: 8-23-02	Congratulations, on both the perseverance and the revelation! And I hope things get much better for you soon!

03-06-2013, 05:27 PM	#3
Julie1972 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Washington, DC Posts: 425 Gallery: Julie1972 Stats: 220/174/160 WOE: Atkins Start Date: 1/1/2013	Way to stay strong!! KUTGW!!

03-06-2013, 05:50 PM	#4
sillykimmie Major LCF Poster! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: The Evergreen state Posts: 2,617 Gallery: sillykimmie Stats: 223/192/140 WOE: Atkins induction!!! Start Date: Re restart date 8-14-12	First I'm sorry you're having a rough time with your son. Second, and very important, Way to go on making a responsible food choice!! You are so worth it!

03-06-2013, 05:53 PM	#5
shelby'snana Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: middle of nowhere, Tx Posts: 3,534 Gallery: shelby'snana Stats: 173.5/140.4/122-127 5'2" WOE: Low Carb Start Date: 7/28/2011	You should be so proud of yourself !! And as the mother of 2 boys , grown now, I hope things get easier soon ...... I have lots of gray hair (haha). Kuddos on being a single parent with 2 jobs too...... that's amazing.

03-06-2013, 06:52 PM	#6
Chocolate Rose Senior LCF Member Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: WA Posts: 298 Gallery: Chocolate Rose WOE: LCHF Start Date: February 2012	Kudos to you!!! I know how hard it is to deal with a teen daughter and I've heard that sons can be more difficult. Congratulations on making it through a tough afternoon.

03-06-2013, 08:13 PM	#8
marieze Major LCF Poster! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Lake Oswego, Oregon Posts: 1,887 Gallery: marieze Stats: 370/220/180 WOE: My way low carb! Start Date: July 11th 2003	Oh Kimberli.....it seems like a lifetime until I get there

03-06-2013, 08:32 PM	#9
svenskamae Major LCF Poster! Join Date: May 2012 Location: Minneapolis Posts: 2,926 Gallery: svenskamae Stats: 235/178/135 5'3" WOE: Nutritional Ketosis/Primal/JUDDD Start Date: January 15, 2012	Marieze, I'm sorry that you are going through a tough time, but you should be so proud of yourself for staying on plan and eating healthy lowcarb food even during the most difficult days. If you can do it now, you can do it anytime--and you can do it for the rest of a long, healthy, slim life, too. Congratulations on doing so well, and keep up the great work.

03-06-2013, 09:41 PM	#11
Strawberry Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 3,350 Gallery: Strawberry	CONGRATS on sticking with your diet!!! I just want to add... I butted heads with my mother NONSTOP around the ages of 16-18.... until I moved out. Just stand firm with your son and do what you know is right as a mother. I now appreciate my mom. Once your son matures a little more and gains a few more years, he will look back and appreciate all the love and discipline and rules and morals you gave him.

03-06-2013, 09:46 PM	#12
itzme91 Major LCF Poster! Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: SE Kentucky Posts: 1,810 Gallery: itzme91 Stats: 198/138/125 WOE: just watching my carbs	Congrats on staying strong! Prayers for you and your Son,as others have already saidit will get better! I raised 2 dd's and survived!

03-07-2013, 12:08 AM	#13
Mimosa23 Blabbermouth!!! Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Germany Posts: 5,930 Gallery: Mimosa23 Stats: 220/206/150 WOE: Nourishing Traditions without grains/IF	Sending and at the same time! Congratulations on staying strong in difficult times! That is a great achievement!

03-07-2013, 01:40 AM	#14
Stardust Senior LCF Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 200 Gallery: Stardust	Oh well done you, that is fabulous! So sorry you are having trouble with your son though, we have a 15yr old lad too (my step son), can be challenging!

03-07-2013, 05:27 AM	#15
CarefreeGal Junior LCF Member Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Ohio Posts: 3 Gallery: CarefreeGal WOE: My own low carb Start Date: September 2012	Congratulations for being strong and sticking to your plan! Teenage boys have a lot of hormones racing through their bodies (and they're hungry ALL the time) so sometimes they're incredibly hard to deal with. But, you're doing what he needs the most and that is being a mom and being there for him . You'll get through this and your efforts will be rewarded as you come out the other end having raised a fine young man! Sending you good thoughts..

03-07-2013, 05:58 AM	#16
clackley Chatty Cathy Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Toronto Posts: 13,221 Gallery: clackley Stats: 228.5/168/125 WOE: N.K.=vlc/hf/moderate protein & organic/pastured Start Date: Restart Oct 18 2009	Good for you!! Teenagers are basically insane - literally. Their brains are still growing. Handle with care!!! CBC -The Nature of Things with David Suzuki - - Surviving The Teenage Brain

03-07-2013, 06:33 AM	#17
JMacB Senior LCF Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Alabama Posts: 606 Gallery: JMacB Stats: 275/210/160 WOE: Modified Atkins/general low carb Start Date: Feb 2012	...and this is why I plan to send my son to boarding school.

03-07-2013, 12:14 PM	#18
cathlaur Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Ontario Canada Posts: 3,978 Gallery: cathlaur Stats: 225/202/175 5"10 WOE: Atkins. Start Date: Restarted Feb 5, 2013. Weighing once a month!	Oh man I feel your pain though mine is a 17 year old daughter. I sometimes want to scream and pull my hair out. BUT things are slowly starting to change and I hope once she moves out to College in the fall she will grow up a bit. Though I am married with a great husband so hats off to you for doing it alone you rock! We will one day look back at these years and laugh RIGHT LOL LOL LOL

03-07-2013, 03:05 PM	#19
natural_born_texan Senior LCF Member Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 211 Gallery: natural_born_texan Stats: 215/205/150 WOE: Atkins Induction	[QUOTE=No, we don't live in the south[/QUOTE] <<<hey, hey now....living in the South is actually a very good thing! I commend you on sticking with the salad at lunch, that is a big deal, particularly under stressful situations. My heart goes out to you regarding the difficulties you're having with your teenager. Hang in there because it will surely pass. (I have a 9 and 11 yr. old, and I'm already bracing myself for those rough times--I see them coming.)

03-07-2013, 07:43 PM	#20
babycakez Major LCF Poster! Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Bay Area Posts: 1,034 Gallery: babycakez Stats: 267/188/160 WOE: Low Carbin' it! RESTART#3: JAN.31.2013 Start Date: 11/02/11	It takes a lot of courage to sit through that. You've done so well. Congrats.

03-08-2013, 03:59 AM	#22
baileygirl3 Major LCF Poster! Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: VA Posts: 1,516 Gallery: baileygirl3 Stats: 177/139.8/135 WOE: Low Carb	Congrats on hanging in there! My son is 13. I feel your pain

03-08-2013, 09:23 AM	#23
marieze Major LCF Poster! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Lake Oswego, Oregon Posts: 1,887 Gallery: marieze Stats: 370/220/180 WOE: My way low carb! Start Date: July 11th 2003	You guys really are the BEST! I know we all have our challenges, but dang, kids can be a tough one! Don't get me wrong; I couldn't ask for a better son....compassionate, loving, ethical, bright etc.....but then there is that other, hormonal, mouthy side to the guy that sends me into a tailspin All your responses have warmed my heart....thanks again, friends!

03-08-2013, 03:29 PM	#25
Maryposa Moderator Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Orange County, CA Posts: 6,774 Gallery: Maryposa Stats: 355/181.0/155 169.4 VFT! WOE: Weight loss surgery (VSG) + Low Carb + Exercise Start Date: 1998; Restart May 2007 @355; WLS March 2010	Now that is what I call a Non-Scale VICTORY! That is awesome. I am sorry to hear about the rough time you're having with your son, but I am glad you see the silver lining

03-08-2013, 03:35 PM	#26
DiamondDeb Fat Burning Machine Extraordinaire! Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 69,998 Gallery: DiamondDeb	WTG taking care of yourself! No advice on your son; I don't have kids but I was a teen once and know it is tough for parents. You'll both get through this.

03-08-2013, 10:27 PM	#27
Janknitz Major LCF Poster! Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 1,775 Gallery: Janknitz Stats: 254/190/150 WOE: Low Carb High Fat, Primal Start Date: June 16, 2011	Congratulations on not eating your troubles. I just survived one teenager (she's 20) and have a new one just starting (she's 12). What was I thinking??? Actually I have great kids, but that doesn't mean they are not obnoxious, jekyll and hyde style. I had to keep reminding myself that it's the teens job to pull away from the parents to be able to grow into an independent human being. It's a painful process for all involved, but if you stay connected (as your post clearly shows) they eventually become human again. Deep breaths, and be good to yourself. You will survive, and so will he.

03-09-2013, 05:48 AM	#28
flagman1776 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: New England Posts: 166 Gallery: flagman1776 Stats: restart 241, WOE: Atkins 72, measured portions Start Date: Originally started 2000, 252/168	I survived 2 step children... both of which make us proud today. It was not always this way.

03-09-2013, 09:47 AM	#29
debstin Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 116 Gallery: debstin Stats: 175/144/130 WOE: Atkins Start Date: June 2012	I remember those teen age years,was on my knees alot. It sounds like you are making a lot of good decisions. And unfortunately, you can't always be your teenagers friend as you have to be their parent. Tough job some days. When how hard it is begins to fade in memory, you will actually long for those days back at times. I have a friend who says,"And this too shall pass..........and something worse will happen." Lol I imagine someday, your son will thank you for his raising and you will see him become an awesome young man. Sounds like you are making a lot of good decisions and doing okay!!! Hang in there,rewards will follow.

03-09-2013, 04:12 PM	#30
enna1477 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Montana Posts: 272 Gallery: enna1477 Stats: 255/145/160 WOE: Self designed LC Start Date: November 2010	Having gone through those teenage years myself and (as my own mother decreed) suffered through two teens that were easily twice as cheeky and disrespectful as I was, I have a theory. Many kids pick fights with their parents because it makes saying goodbye when it's time to go out and start their own less painful for them. Hang tight. Kids give you a wild ride and then one day they end up being perfectly nice people that you want to be around. I always loved my kids but there were plenty of times I didn't like them very much!