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Old 02-25-2013, 06:45 AM   #1
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I can't eat that vs I'm allergic

Ok just curious about how many of you say that you low carb and can't eat certain foods or if you say I'm "allergic" or it makes me sick when it comes to foods that are a no no? So on Saturday night I went on a date and was a little nervous because we were going to a sushi and habachi grill; anyways he ended up ordering some sushi which had rice in it, then some tuna that was ok for me to eat, and something else that had a sweet sauce on top. So I ate the tuna, them hes like you have to try the sushi, it's ok you can cheat one night. He was being really sweet and I know people who don't low carb don't understand that cheating isn't like cheating on a normal diet; anyways I finally just looked at him and said I can't have rice it makes me really sick. Then he asked me about the meat with a sweet sauce and I said no I don't eat sugar, he's like it's ok this one time.... Finally I'm like no it really makes me violently I'll,I wish I could but after going so long not eating it I get sicker than a dog. After that he never asked again and it was like it was completely acceptable because it made me sick! Ok so ive only been on Atkins for 7 weeks and I don't knowif it makes me sick but I didn't want to cheat, didn't wanna find out if it makes me sick, wasn't worth the cheat, and hate that people are so pushy to make u cheat! Anyways saying it made me violently I'll seemed to be totally different and acceptable to someone rather than saying I low carb, so for those of you battling this, try saying this!

Anyways I was very careful and ate shrimp and steak, later had a vodka and soda....very nervous I'd gain weight but actually dropped a pound the next day! Do any of you go through this or get very anxious/apprehensive about eating out?
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Old 02-25-2013, 06:49 AM   #2
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Most restaurants must think I am a VERY sick girl because when I order, even if it is just steak and broccoli, I be sure to tell them I am a diabetic with celiac disease and various "starch allergies"-- no, I've never heard of anyone being allergic to starch in general, but no one has ever questioned me. Very, VERY rarely do restaurants mess up my order when I say I'm allergic to foods and I have diabetes.

They take you much more seriously when they're afraid you're gonna have a grand mal seizure in the middle of the restaurant if they screw up your order.
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Old 02-25-2013, 06:52 AM   #3
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My friend who has done Atkins for 7 years has told me to tell restaurants that you're allergic to it too because they take you more seriously rather than thinking "stupid skinny girl should just eat it" lol! I just thought it was funny that it's easier to just say that not only at restaurants but to whoever you are with as well!

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Old 02-25-2013, 06:59 AM   #4
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You weren't fibbing...it will make you sick too eat those things...maybe not right at that moment, but in a few years when overweight and on meds for BP or diabetes you will be very sick...so, imo you told the complete truth.
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Old 02-25-2013, 07:39 AM   #5
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I just say that I've learned that I feel better when I cut out starchy and sugary things.

I order sashimi and japanese style seaweed salad at sushi joints.

Searching back to long ago when I was dating, my suggestion would be to go online to look at the menu before the date, and then order for yourself. I understand that some guys want to do the ordering, but if they were with me, they'd have to get over it lol.
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Old 02-25-2013, 08:22 AM   #6
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you know the other thing? think about skinny people. how many of them just don't eat this or that because "I DON'T LIKE IT"? You know?

we are so used to not being "food fussies" as my mother used to call it when I was a little kid, maybe it's time to change. no one expects people to eat everything, especially if they don't like it.

now, this is different with people who have known your eating for years of course, and different from ORDERING where something like mizzcase suggests might be necessary to actually get what you want. but if you are willing to carry almonds in your purse and scarf a few in private moments, you really can eat very little in public places like this and be fine.
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Old 02-25-2013, 08:27 AM   #7
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I agree with the above, in that if you say the "A" word (Allergic) you will be taken seriously at resturants b/c the resturant staff is usually trained to beware of potential liability.
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Old 02-25-2013, 09:38 AM   #8
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I agree with the above, in that if you say the "A" word (Allergic) you will be taken seriously at resturants b/c the resturant staff is usually trained to beware of potential liability.
I have a different perspective than most on this issue. As a former restaurant owner our first and formost goal was taking care of our guests. Over the 25 years I owned my place we had many customers with every like and dislike you can imagine. We had one regular guest who was allergic to anything in the onion and garlic family and as long as they let us know ahead we could fix whatever he wanted within his guidelines. Can you imagine beans or salsa or sautéed veggies without onions?

This attitude has to be from the top down and all of my employees knew the happier the guest the better the tip. We did love the Atkins people though - the largest steak or the biggest order of ribs and don't bother with the potato.

So if there is something you can't or won't eat just let the server know and they will usually do their best to see you get what you want.
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Old 02-25-2013, 09:54 AM   #9
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I am someone who does have several deadly food allergies. If there's something I can't eat for health reasons, because it's not on plan, or because I simply don't want it, I just ask for the item to be omitted. 95% of the time, it's not a problem.

If the food comes with that item, I'll send it back, reminding them that I asked not to have it, and then mention that I'm allergic (if true). But, really, they're there to feed us what we ask for (within reason), whatever the reason, so just be polite, be very clear with the server, and follow through.

I've been eating out with severe and numerous food allergies since I was 16. Nothing in a restaurant has sent me to the hospital yet. Unlike eating at someone's house or a dorm.


On a different note, it's absolutely none of my business, but I have to say this. If you have said no thanks to a food once, it's rude and controlling and setting off all kinds of red flags for me to read that your date kept trying you to eat it anyway. Whatever your reasons (and you don't owe him ANY explanations about what you choose to eat of not), you said no once. That should be the end of it. Beyond the fact that you shouldn't alter what you know to be healthy food choices for a someone else, I just find it incredibly controlling for someone else to decide that it's okay, or even optimal, for you to go against your own desires for them.

Okay, I just had to say it. I know it's none of my business.
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Old 02-25-2013, 10:35 AM   #10
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I totally agree! I'm the type that's so easy going and I hate making people feel they have to go out of their way to accommodate my needs. Ya it bugs me when men try and push you to eat something that isn't on your diet, but truthfully there are a bunch of people that are always trying to get you to break your diet which is really frustrating! This is the first diet where I'm eating plenty and not wanting to cheat, so people pushing to break my diet just bugs the heck out of me.... I have family that gets on my case too; seems never ending!
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Old 02-25-2013, 10:44 AM   #11
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At some point, I think you are going to have to explain your diet to your date... if its early on, I can sort of understand not getting into a lot of detail..... But that sounded like an ackward situation, where he is doing all the ordering, then you cant eat most of what he ordered, then he feels bad that you aren't eating most of the food he selected... If you just explained it to him, then perhaps you could order stuff that you CAN eat. I understand "making do" with whats available if you are in at someones house or having a catered meal with a large group of people... but not when you are in a restaurant where you can order what you want!

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Old 02-25-2013, 10:45 AM   #12
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I'll say "No thanks". If they keep it up, I'll say "It looks great."

While I wish people would cut it out, I do understand! Not long ago we had friends over for a party and ordered pizza (which I skipped ). One guy was a vegetarian, and when I offered to get one of the pizzas half-veggie, he said no - he'd just eat when we got home.

Then he was disappointed that I didn't order any veggie pizza! I guess he thought it was more polite to appear to refuse. I told him next time, he could just say "no thanks" or "yes please".

I personally don't like saying I'm allergic, because I think it contributes to the perception that people with food allergies can have a little of something, or are just making it up. I've known people with very serious food allergies who were constantly facing misperceptions, and I would hate to contribute.

If someone is really pushy, about this or anything, I'll say "This seems really important to you." They'll usually back down really fast once the conversation's about them making an unnecessarily big deal out of something.
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Old 02-25-2013, 10:54 AM   #13
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I'll addd this much in too... One of my Atkins friends told me if someone keeps pushing about them eating non low carb friends she tells them that she has food problems and was addicted to sugar (she really was and I was too) and that no one would push an alcoholic to drink,so please dont push me to put a food back in my diet that will cause me problems I've overcome. One of the biggest reasons I lve this diet and don't cheat is a was addicted badly to sugar and am now able to go through weeks without touching it.... Just another point to think about.
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Old 02-25-2013, 12:03 PM   #14
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OK... Devil's advocate, here:

There seems to be a perception among many men that if an attractive woman says, "I can't eat that -- I'm on a diet", he is supposed to convince her to eat it anyway. Basically, he's supposed to be her excuse to cheat.

They've often been trained this way by mothers and sisters who are continually dieting (and failing to stick to those diets).

Even my husband is unsure which way to go, at times. He knows there are a handful of foods (creme brulee) that I have a serious weakness for, and aren't readily available, so when we go someplace they are... Should he encourage me to cheat once and be good for a week, or encourage me to make (LC) cheesecake? (LC cheesecake is the universal temptation cure, around here. ~chuckles~)

It might be a good idea, in a dating situation, to discuss food-issues BEFORE dinner, and say something like, "I really feel awful after eating those things, so I need your help to stay away from it tonight. After all, I don't want to ruin our evening with me stuck in the lady's room!" (Not an exaggeration. My IBS flares SO bad if I eat starchy! No issues at all if I stick to LC. This is a pretty common pattern...)
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Old 02-25-2013, 12:57 PM   #15
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I personally don't like saying I'm allergic, because I think it contributes to the perception that people with food allergies can have a little of something, or are just making it up. I've known people with very serious food allergies who were constantly facing misperceptions, and I would hate to contribute.


As someone who grew up on the other end of the spoon, I don't believe anyone should ever claim to be allergic to someone unless they are.

My mother has lots of food Sensitivities (migraine-inducing, etc), but No real Allergies. The thing about Sensitivities, is that unlike allergies they are (1) manageable, and (2) NOt life-threatening. But mom would constantly say she was "allergic" to this or that, and then, after making a big deal & demanding special accomodations & etc, would go ahead and eat the very thing off someone else's plate (often mine). Is it any surprise everyone around her tended to downplay food allergies?

Whereas, aside from lots of things that I should avoid, I do have two actual food allergies. Strawberries (which I used to love!), and Hops. (By the way, guess what people think it means when you say you're allergic to beer.. ) You can't manage-away a tongue-swelling reaction, and it doesn't go away just because you've gone off your diet.

Of course, thanks to our litigious society, nowadays everyone does know about food allergies. Which is great, because it actually means there's usually No reason to lie. Most places now take the statement, "I need to avoid" some food, quite seriously. Which is a great thing!
But seeing too many people come in, claiming to be "allergic" to substances like sugar but then a few months or a year later, going ahead an eating them, is bound to result in some servers poo-pooing the whole concept of food allergies, not taking it seriously & going the easy route, and then people wind up hospitalized that didn't need to be.

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Old 02-25-2013, 01:00 PM   #16
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Haha yes this was our second date and he knew I low carbed but many who don't eat that way don't really understand it. I never thought about it that way, that they were trying to give you a break or a treat in a loving way, but that makes sense. We were going to the movies after so I told him unless he wanted to see me barf on the second date or have me holding my stomach In serious pain that I wouldn't be eating the sugar or rice!
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Old 02-25-2013, 01:03 PM   #17
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I personally don't like saying I'm allergic, because I think it contributes to the perception that people with food allergies can have a little of something, or are just making it up. I've known people with very serious food allergies who were constantly facing misperceptions, and I would hate to contribute.
That's part of the reason I don't like saying it when it's not true. I have enough times where it is absolutely true, and my life depends on them believing me, I don't need to muddy the waters.
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Old 02-25-2013, 01:17 PM   #18
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I agree with Ntombi about not claiming any allergy that I don't have.

However, I also never say, "I can't eat . . . ." Instead, I say (firmly) "I don't eat. . . ." And I don't provide any explanation.

I never mention 'diet' or weight issues, and no one has ever questioned why I don't eat certain foods. In my experience, it's only when you put your food choice specifically in terms of weight or diet that you are encouraged to 'Try a little" or "Just this once."
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Old 02-25-2013, 01:19 PM   #19
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To me, there is a difference in how you phrase this - "I can't" vs. "I don't" - it seems like "I can't" eat this or that seems to invite people to try to change your mind, where I've had very few problems with "I don't eat...." If they push it, I state, "No, thanks!" with a smile. One more push gets a very firm "NO - thanks." Another push gets the steely-eyed stare! I seldom get past the second phase of this one, most people will leave it alone if it looks like you're not wavering.
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Old 02-25-2013, 01:20 PM   #20
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when eating out and there's an element of the meal I prefer not to have, I just explain to the server, "I'll have the steak..without the (mashed potato, bread etc). I know a lot of food must be wasted by going back to the kitchen and then in the trash so it'll save the restaurant money if you don't bring it in the first place." I've never had a server argue that....
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Old 02-25-2013, 01:21 PM   #21
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I agree with Ntombi about not claiming any allergy that I don't have.

However, I also never say, "I can't eat . . . ." Instead, I say (firmly) "I don't eat. . . ." And I don't provide any explanation.

I never mention 'diet' or weight issues, and no one has ever questioned why I don't eat certain foods. In my experience, it's only when you put your food choice specifically in terms of weight or diet that you are encouraged to 'Try a little" or "Just this once."

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Old 02-25-2013, 02:25 PM   #22
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I never had a food allergy proven by test but I certainly have a touchy system. Initially Dx'd as IBS, the thinking is that is has something to do with my MS. I have had too many close calls to count & some accidents. It is humiliating. The worst incident, the children took the woife & myself to a fancy grill place in Providence. You picked out the items & they grilled them in front of you. We left & I was sick as soon as I got to the car. It would have been a 40 minute drive home if we hadn't stopped so many times to try to help me... I have no idea what caused the incident but I believe the cooking oil was peanut oil. But I can eat peanuts... I detest peanut butter, even the smell makes me ill (trying not to be graphic here!)

In my case, sensitivity is probably the right word. The concept of sugar addiction is a good explanation... I will get sucked in by even the natural sugars of a party fruit assortment. NO, I can't eat just one! I might even expand it to other foods that convert quickly to sugars.

Were I in the company of a new friend, I would impress on him to respect what you say. If he doesn't respect your wishes with food, then how is he going to respect your wishes in other things.
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Old 02-25-2013, 03:08 PM   #23
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I generally say nothing. If pressured about my food choices I tell the truth. I have food sensitivities.

I also do not use the word "can't" because I choose to eat the way I do. "Can't" also gives people the impression that you are deprived & want to be rescued. I never, ever say diet. I'm not on a diet. This is the way I eat.

Allergies are generally severe reactions; most people have food sensitivities.
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Old 02-25-2013, 03:18 PM   #24
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Haha yes this was our second date and he knew I low carbed but many who don't eat that way don't really understand it. I never thought about it that way, that they were trying to give you a break or a treat in a loving way, but that makes sense. We were going to the movies after so I told him unless he wanted to see me barf on the second date or have me holding my stomach In serious pain that I wouldn't be eating the sugar or rice!
You should have just been honest about it. I would have looked on-line at the menu before hand and had a plan for what I could eat. You don't want to start off your relationship being dishonest with each other.
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Old 02-25-2013, 03:32 PM   #25
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You should have just been honest about it. I would have looked on-line at the menu before hand and had a plan for what I could eat. You don't want to start off your relationship being dishonest with each other.
I almost always check out the menu prior to going and have a plan before i get there. Sushi places are great for LC. But feeding your date is a sweet, intimate ritual of courtship. I would take a bite of what was offered then go back to devouring my own plate. Don't appear too high maintenance. But only one bite then always have your fork full of what you ordered. But that's just me...
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Old 02-25-2013, 04:15 PM   #26
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I have used a few responses in different situations:

- That is not part of my nutrition plan.
- I avoid eating sugar/ processed/refined foods.
- I have a bad reaction to that food (it's true, I swell up...with fat!)
- I'm happy with what I'm eating, thanks!

It kind of irks me when I abstain from a high carb or high sugar offering at the office and hear comments like, "you are so disciplined" or "I don't know how you can resist" or "you are doing so good". I know it might seem petty, but it makes me feel like it puts so much more pressure on my decision making knowing people are paying attention and have opinions about it... Even if they are positive. How a person eats is kind of intimate, you know? Leave me alone!

Sorry for the rant!
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Old 02-25-2013, 04:36 PM   #27
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I can sympathize - it can be tricky to date and be low carb. When they ask where I like to eat, I list my low carb favorites. Also I know the low carb options at most restaurants. If you don't already know you can go on line and check the menu ahead of time. After a couple of dates the best option of all is to make dinner for your date! I've been single and low carb for more than 10 years - it's great if you can have a relationship with someone who is also low carb! In have that now and we both enjoy cooking and eating at home or going to steak places.
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Old 02-25-2013, 06:34 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by trishthedish View Post
...
It kind of irks me when I abstain from a high carb or high sugar offering at the office and hear comments like, "you are so disciplined" or "I don't know how you can resist" or "you are doing so good". I know it might seem petty, but it makes me feel like it puts so much more pressure on my decision making knowing people are paying attention and have opinions about it... Even if they are positive...
I feel this way exactly!
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Old 02-25-2013, 07:56 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trishthedish View Post
It kind of irks me when I abstain from a high carb or high sugar offering at the office and hear comments like, "you are so disciplined" or "I don't know how you can resist" or "you are doing so good". I know it might seem petty, but it makes me feel like it puts so much more pressure on my decision making knowing people are paying attention and have opinions about it... Even if they are positive. How a person eats is kind of intimate, you know? Leave me alone!

Sorry for the rant!
This is why I make fairly neutral responses (like sticking with "no, thanks") - they don't open the door as much to further discussion.
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Old 02-25-2013, 08:34 PM   #30
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Nope, I refuse to lie to someone, especially over something so trivial. I emphasize that I don't eat sugar or starch and poke and prod for the ingredients to sauces that might be suspect, but I know what menu items are safe and which might be borderline. A 1/4 tsp of cornstarch aren't going to throw me out of ketosis or damage my health to the point I must sin for the sake of my health!

And yes, I do have food sensitivities and avoid things on that count, too. But one grain of rice in my fajita plate won't harm me one bit and I'm not going to be melodramatic about it, either. This is coming from a long term maintainer and abstainer - I will always say no and lobby for myself, and it isn't even that hard. Lying just doesn't have to enter into it.
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