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LiterateGriffin 01-21-2013 08:26 AM

Staying motivated to lose
 
Any of you obsessive enough to be following my weight will see that it is approximately where it was in August.

This isn't to say there's been no changes. I went off-plan in August, for our move. Didn't get back on-track till October, at which point I got down to around 182... and then in November, went back up to 195, and am now back down to 190.

Am I discouraged with THE PLAN, and looking to give up? NO WAY!! I hate how I feel when I eat high-carb, and enjoy eating this way.

I AM, however, starting to toy with the idea of moving myself -- at least mentally -- to "maintenance".

OK, pros and cons:
  • I'm technically only about 20 lbs overweight right now.
  • I look good. I have a recognizably female shape again, with all the right curves.
  • I have clothes that fit, right now. As I get smaller, I won't.
  • I'm exercising, and exercising to increase muscle-mass. This will continue to produce slow but long-term changes in my body size and composition.

On the other hand:
  • I'm still 20 lbs overweight.
  • My GOAL involved losing another 40 lbs, from here. (Which still has me in the "normal" range).
  • There's still detectable fat on my upper arms. And let's not even talk about my surgery-and-childbirth-ravaged belly.

I really need to buy a tape-measure again. (Haven't had one since the move.) I feel like some hard numbers there could really help sway me on this -- I'm that finely balanced in my decision.

One aspect that's been MISSING for me since we moved here in September has been the physical activity. Well, I'm getting back into the swing of things with that again... If I keep everything the same diet-wise, and don't lose another pound DUE TO DIETARY ISSUES, I should still reach a point where the increased muscle starts slowly eating away at my body-fat reserves.

Maybe, too, I just need to give myself a little time to get used to what I look like RIGHT NOW.

OR, maybe this is me just trying to 'give up when the going gets tough'. And rationalizing it. (I'm good at rationalizing!) Ugh!

rubidoux 01-21-2013 12:02 PM

Well, I had not been obsessing about YOUR weight. :cool: But you do look great in your new pic!

It sounds like your plan to hold steady and see what some more exercise will do for you is a sound one.

I'm also in a holding pattern, though I'm not nearly as far along as you are. I get a lot of benefits from staying on my plan other than weight loss and I'm really trying to focus on those. Like, the reason I'm doing this is to keep my blood sugar where it needs to be (impossible while eating carbs) and to feel energetic and lively (which I don't while eating carbs). I also feel terrible emotionally when I'm carbing it up, and it's wonderful to be free of that. I would of course love to lose some weight, as I'm still around 60 pounds from where I'll feel within a normal weight range.

But I am feeling better as time goes on about the prospect of losing little to no weight or losing it very slowly. When I was 20 pounds heavier than I am now, I was so, so scared of just continuing to gain over the years and ending up unable to move or take care of myself. Even just that 20 pounds has made a huge difference to me. And not having that fear of continuing to gain is huge, too.

Hopefully, you and I will check back in on this thread in six months to find that we're inches or pounds smaller, but without having stressed out about it too much, just going about our business and making healthy choices. :)

LiterateGriffin 01-21-2013 12:09 PM

Exactly.

This isn't about going back to eating high-carb -- not by ANY stretch!

It IS about wondering if I should just "pause" a little bit, and quit worrying about my loss as much.

svenskamae 01-21-2013 01:39 PM

Hi, Literate Griffin. I am in a somewhat similar position, in that I haven't been losing for a few weeks, but I am focusing more on exercising and getting stronger, instead of worrying about this mini-stall. If you keep up with a healthy low carb diet and exercise regularly, then your losses may pick up again; on the other hand, if you do that and stay in the same place on the scale for a while, that's no tragedy and you'll still be getting healthier. At least that's what I tell myself! It sounds like you are pretty comfortable in your own body and with your current wardrobe right now, so a period of maintenance would be fine, and maybe take off the pressure when the scale doesn't budge. :hugs:

Erin57 01-21-2013 02:18 PM

Take a break and maintain where you are for awhile and see how you feel about it? I'm
5'9" also and my original goal was 145. I can get down to 160 and feel good at that weight but I maintain easily at 170.

Instead of using BMI as a gage use your measurements. I'll look for some articles on hip to waist ratio and see if I can post. I don't remember but I think mine has to be under 31" to fall into the healthy guidelines.

cfine 01-21-2013 02:22 PM

Whatever you decide..you look awesome and I'm sure that the exercise is going to make you look even more awesome. Maintaining for a time is a good thing, imho.

reddarin 01-21-2013 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LiterateGriffin (Post 16210354)
Exactly.

This isn't about going back to eating high-carb -- not by ANY stretch!

It IS about wondering if I should just "pause" a little bit, and quit worrying about my loss as much.

Dr. Phinney endorses this in the Long Term Stalls podcast with Jimmy Moore. :)

Phranquie 01-21-2013 04:34 PM

I think you have to do what is right for you. You know your life, where you are, what your routine is. As long as you are committed to eating LC this is what is important, not so much the timing.

Personally I want to get as close as I can to my goal to know what it takes to maintain at that desired weight. I do not want to be comfortable and learn maintenance at a weight where I feel it is not the most healthy I can be. I know from the past that I have to get to goal and set a strict weight fluctuation window for myself or it is too easy to gain a little bit at a time and keep gaining until I am too far gone (in my mind) to even care.

Good luck with your journey!

Avy 01-21-2013 05:00 PM

I totally feel where you are. I'm determined not to go the carb way ever again, and am quite comfortable maintaining my current, no where near goal weight. Of course, I still want to lose and be thinner, but I understand and agree with how you feel. Sometimes we just need to stop worrying about the scale and just enjoy life. I did that for 3 months, and it was good. I'm sure you'll be successful in maintaining and eventually getting to your goals. :)

LiterateGriffin 01-22-2013 05:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by reddarin (Post 16210603)
Dr. Phinney endorses this in the Long Term Stalls podcast with Jimmy Moore. :)


Well, good to know I'm not the first to have this happen!

The "good" news is that I get to retain all the health-benefits I've gained -- INCLUDING no longer being high-risk for diabetes based on my age and weight. (In the screening for it, my only risk-factor now is my family history. And this meshes well with my personal experience of not wearing out my pancreas anymore.)

I should look for that podcast -- maybe it'll give me a little guidance, here.

I think partly, too, I feel like a few months focusing on the exercise portion will make renewed losses easier... Then again, I just tried to put on a slightly-too-small shirt I bought recently, and it's too small. Pretty, but won't stay buttoned.

You see my incredible ambivalence. :laugh:

Darkginger 01-22-2013 05:53 AM

I think I could easily be in your position, apart from one little thing - there's nothing 'extra' that I actually want to eat (well, apart from the occasional apricot, see my recent post!). I'm perfectly happy eating at losing levels, and in order to stop losing weight I'd have to deliberately find more carby things to consume. I'm relying on the weight loss slowing down as I approach goal - it better do, else this time next year I'll have wasted away!

I guess you have to ask yourself what it is you're going to eat in order to stop losing and start maintaining - I can see why you'd like to do it, I'm just a little unsure as to how - are you actually feeling deprived?

Am glad you posted, because I suppose I have to start thinking about how I'm going to get on in maintenance - which was my (eventual, after 3 years) failing last time. I was rather hoping the ol' body would just reach some kind of equilibrium, and I could carry on eating like this for ever!

avid 01-22-2013 05:57 AM

Taking a break from obsessing sounds like a great idea.
I mean, obsessing over anything isn't healthy. I "go there" from time to time
and it can be exhausting.
But for me "maintenance" is an illusion.
The minute I try to stop LOSING weight, I begin to start GAINING weight.
I'm in the 'normal' range according to the weight charts and continued weight loss is hard, but I keep at it.
Trying to lose more weight is the only thing that keeps me from gaining.
I envy those who can comfortably maintain.
Alas, tis not I. :sing:

NH_Free 01-22-2013 06:22 AM

It's the same for me, Avid. As soon as I eat extra, I go up 2 lbs. and then buckle down until I lose it again. Have a few drinks on the weekend... spend all week getting the extra water weight off. Maybe that's what maintenance is. :laugh:

reddarin 01-22-2013 07:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LiterateGriffin (Post 16211614)
I should look for that podcast -- maybe it'll give me a little guidance, here.

Google 'jimmy moore long term stalls phinney' and it should be the first hit :)

LiterateGriffin 01-22-2013 08:26 AM

That's just it: I'm not going to be eating much different. I'm stalled, so "maintaining" means just going on like I am, rather than going thru the work of trying to figure out why I'm stalling and breaking thru that.

It also means that on my upcoming Birthday-trip down to see relatives (who I haven't seen in around 10 years) I don't have to deal with the awkwardness of turning down the inevitable Birthday Desert when we go out to dinner. (Which, given these relatives, would be at a nice restaurant that served some desert I would really hate refusing, PARTICULARLY if it's being pressed on my by a cousin.) See? I'm not even talking about blowing an entire MEAL -- just about having the creme brulee ONCE. lol

I guess it comes down to definitions of maintenance.

When I'm losing, I expect steady, perceptible progress. Anything else (allowing for "bounce") means I'm not doing it right.

To "maintain" means I can flat-line my loss-graph and still be "on target". I might occasionally consider eating foods that are beyond what I think of as my current "rung", as long as I'm willing to be extra-restricted the next day. (And let's face it, I'm willing to be restrictive!)

Maybe I'm pulling "sour grapes"? I don't seem to be budging much right now, so... quit trying to budge?

Rhubarb 01-22-2013 09:17 AM

It's not just Phinney, but a lot of weight loss experts, including Taubes, who say that it's not a bad idea to allow your body some time to rest and just maintain a weight for a while. Both Beck and Rolls say the same thing. It's hard for many of us to wrap our minds around doing that and so we end up eating more out of frustration, but it sounds as though you are exactly in the right mind frame to try this. After all, it's not as though you can't decide to lose more later if you want to.

This seems like common sense to me because I know for a fact that I have set points. In fact, what used to be my high set point when I was younger is now my desired ideal weight. I'm hoping my body will remember that weight and be happy with it instead of the much higher weights I carried in recent years. :dunno:

Anyway, perhaps this is one of your set points in which case your weight will be fairly easy to maintain as long as you stay conscious and don't go back to your unhealthy ways. That alone would be a huge accomplishment. And later if you want to take off a few more, you'll be starting from this lower set point, which I think may make it easier. At least that's the thinking of those who suggest a "break" from losing.

Good luck. I hope if you decide to do it that you'll share what the experience is like. I'd love to know more about how this theory would work in practice.

Arctic_Mama 01-22-2013 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NH_Free (Post 16211720)
It's the same for me, Avid. As soon as I eat extra, I go up 2 lbs. and then buckle down until I lose it again. Have a few drinks on the weekend... spend all week getting the extra water weight off. Maybe that's what maintenance is. :laugh:

It is! Maintenance is keeping your normal weight swings in a tighter pattern, correcting when needed to stay in a range. There will always be ups and downs, and once folks come to terms with that and don't let it defeat or discourage them, the maintenance battle is won (except for the daily accountability work, of course).

LiterateGriffin 01-22-2013 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rhubarb (Post 16212225)
It's not just Phinney, but a lot of weight loss experts, including Taubes, who say that it's not a bad idea to allow your body some time to rest and just maintain a weight for a while. Both Beck and Rolls say the same thing. It's hard for many of us to wrap our minds around doing that and so we end up eating more out of frustration, but it sounds as though you are exactly in the right mind frame to try this. After all, it's not as though you can't decide to lose more later if you want to.

This seems like common sense to me because I know for a fact that I have set points. In fact, what used to be my high set point when I was younger is now my desired ideal weight. I'm hoping my body will remember that weight and be happy with it instead of the much higher weights I carried in recent years. :dunno:

Anyway, perhaps this is one of your set points in which case your weight will be fairly easy to maintain as long as you stay conscious and don't go back to your unhealthy ways. That alone would be a huge accomplishment. And later if you want to take off a few more, you'll be starting from this lower set point, which I think may make it easier. At least that's the thinking of those who suggest a "break" from losing.

Good luck. I hope if you decide to do it that you'll share what the experience is like. I'd love to know more about how this theory would work in practice.

Yes, 190 is one of my old "set-points"! So is 150, which is why it's my goal (even though 170 will have me in "normal BMI" range). Does this mean that when I eventually get down to 150, I'll have an easier time staying there, because my body naturally hung out there for so long?

Rhubarb 01-22-2013 03:31 PM

Does this mean that when I eventually get down to 150, I'll have an easier time staying there, because my body naturally hung out there for so long?

I don't know that for sure but it seems logical to me. I suspect that there really is some kind of body "memory" that makes it easier for it to stay at certain weights. And I also suspect that means it's not a bad idea to let it do that for a while when it reaches one of those weights so that if and when you decide to lose more, it feels ready to make the move.

I'm not expert in the science of set points, but I do know that my body naturally has them. Depending on my level of activity I can hold at those weights with a rather large range of caloric intake. The scale just doesn't move. If I keep working at it, I can go below (and if I really start eating I'll definitely go above) but whether I'm on the way up or down the scale, my loss or gain stops at those weights for a while and I have an easier time staying there.

It sounds like you might be that way too. If you're not hungry and you're feeling good energy and health, why not?

svenskamae 01-22-2013 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LiterateGriffin (Post 16212082)
That's just it: I'm not going to be eating much different. I'm stalled, so "maintaining" means just going on like I am, rather than going thru the work of trying to figure out why I'm stalling and breaking thru that.

It also means that on my upcoming Birthday-trip down to see relatives (who I haven't seen in around 10 years) I don't have to deal with the awkwardness of turning down the inevitable Birthday Desert when we go out to dinner. (Which, given these relatives, would be at a nice restaurant that served some desert I would really hate refusing, PARTICULARLY if it's being pressed on my by a cousin.) See? I'm not even talking about blowing an entire MEAL -- just about having the creme brulee ONCE. lol

I guess it comes down to definitions of maintenance.

When I'm losing, I expect steady, perceptible progress. Anything else (allowing for "bounce") means I'm not doing it right.

To "maintain" means I can flat-line my loss-graph and still be "on target". I might occasionally consider eating foods that are beyond what I think of as my current "rung", as long as I'm willing to be extra-restricted the next day. (And let's face it, I'm willing to be restrictive!)

Maybe I'm pulling "sour grapes"? I don't seem to be budging much right now, so... quit trying to budge?

I personally think of what you describe--and what I'm experiencing--as "involuntary maintenance." Yes, I'd like to keep losing and am eating the same way that I was when I was losing (even cutting calories further in accordance with being a smaller size now). But if I stall here (and I too am at least at a plateau, for now), I don't feel frantic about it and wrack my brain about how to get the scale moving right away. I can enjoy being healthy, focus on some other goals (like exercising, which tends to stop my weight loss dead), and maintain without despair for a while. Of course, I'll be happy if the "involuntary maintenance" turns into losses again, but I will try to be at peace with where I am for at least a few weeks, if needed. Oh, as Rhubarb's post suggests, I am staying stuck at a place where I maintained my weight for several years, so it's not surprising that my current plateau happened right at THIS point.

This :goodpost: is for you, Rhubarb. Good points! And good attitude--the same one I'm trying to cultivate--Literate Griffin. :shake:

Michalea 01-22-2013 05:55 PM

I'll bet if ya all just shift your focus to how good you feel and wonderful it is that you've made it as far as you have from telling yourselves "I'm stuck, I can't lose the weight, I'll never get there ... blah blah blah" It will happen naturally. I've said and will continue to say, this is as much a head game as diet. Where you focus is where you will go, think about staying overweight and you're there! Redirect to I can do this, I'm perfectly fine where I'm at, I feel good, I don't have to do this all right now and it will happen :) Get your head in the right space and watch what happens. Find every and any excuse to feel good, then good things (ie things you want to have happen) will. :sing:

sya_unit 01-22-2013 06:26 PM

I have to tell you, LG, that you are one of my favorites on the boards over the last year that I have been on here doing the LC WOE. You always seem to have great advice for everyone and I have to tell you that I hit -70 and have taken a maintain break for three months. It is relatively awesome, I'd say. I know I need to lose some more weight, but I was at a need to just be. And Now that I've just been for a few months, I'm getting back into the groove. It had nothing to do with low carb and that whole part of dieting...it was a stress factor that I didn't want to deal with NOT losing weight. I'm at a size 14, which is average nowdays...although I am still, like you, wanting to lose another 40 lbs. Whatever way you go, good luck!

Big Stevie 01-22-2013 06:56 PM

I started in July. I have lost around 60 pounds. I kinda feel the same way. I need to lose another 40. I feel so much better than I did when I started. I am tired of obsessing about this stuff as well. I put my scale away last month. I don't plan to pull it out for awhile. I am eating on plan and just enjoying my new found health and look. I have plenty of indicators to tell me that I am on pace, with my pants and belt being the two best. I am still losing and don't plan to ever go back to carb filled life, but if I have a few extra nuts, or vegetables today, I am not going to worry so much about it. I am still not ready to try deserts yet, probably won't ever. I am content with the foods I am eating and am very comfortable low carbing. I am thinking of this as a settling in point on my journey and the end of the beginning phase. The commitment is still there, but I don't think it needs to be such a large focus. I can and will do this and I am comfortable and unafraid to say so. Maybe that is it, the fear part is gone.

Trillex 01-22-2013 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LiterateGriffin (Post 16209789)
Any of you obsessive enough to be following my weight will see that it is approximately where it was in August.

I *am* that obsessive person who has been following your progress! HaHa! But seriously, I really am that person... Here's my $0.02, based on what I have observed, please feel free to disregard it:

I get the feeling, from reading your posts, that you genuinely enjoy low-carb as a way of life and that you're a lot like me in that you're pursuing this eating plan primarily to improve your health, rather than to achieve a specific clothing size or image in the mirror. My perception of your goals makes me wonder *why* birthday treats or "occasional" other foods that are off-plan would be a temptation to you, since they go against a lifestyle that you clearly advocate and enjoy, and that has been beneficial to your life and overall health and fitness.

I've also noticed, it seems to me, that in times when you are the proudest and most enthusiastic about your progress -- and happy about the benefits that have accrued along with that progress -- you seem to pull yourself back and go off-plan for a bit. I think I understand what you're saying about being frustrated by a stall. But it also sounds to me as if there is some sort of additional pressure on you -- or perhaps pressure that you're putting on yourself in some way -- that I don't quite understand, and I feel as if I'm missing some underlying information about *why* you feel it would be better to pause at this particular point rather than stay comfortably on your plan to see when your body will decide to move forward.

I don't want to sound judgmental -- because I think it's absolutely FABULOUS for you to pause wherever and whenever the heck you feel like it! As noted in your original post, you're happy with your shape and your size and the clothes you can currently wear so I don't think anyone in that situation should drive herself crazy about going to a lower point on the scale. The point of any lifestyle change, I think, is to be happy and healthy -- not scale-obsessed and insecure. And if you're in a place where you haven't had to pay attention to calories in the past, but will need to cut back in order to lose more pounds, then I can certainly see why you might not want to take that step. Yet -- and it's absolutely none of my business -- in reading your post, I wonder if you are actually content where you are or if there is something else going on that has made you decide to halt your progress.

As I've said, it's absolutely none of my business. These are just the thoughts of a random person who has never met you...

Punkin 01-23-2013 03:41 AM

With a history of being a yoyo dieter myself the first time I ever "intentionally" went on maintenance I started receiving a lot of new information. I knew I probably still need to lose a bit more weight, but its how I learned that I couldn't just be on a "regular" diet. By regular meaning a diet that everyone else around me was eating. Duh. Isn't that how I got overweight in the first place? But I needed to figure out that on my own I guess. Of course in my case I started experimenting like mad and eventually wound up at LCFs. :)

At least for you, you've already found that you need LC, if you are going to maintain. So for you it will be all about developing a diet which can work for the long term. Ie. fit your lifestyle, the right amount of carbs, etc. Once you found a diet that can work within reason then if you want you can go back to a diet that allows you to lose. But I know for me the maintenance diet seemed a lot harder to develop that the diet that allows me to lose weight. I guess I was better at starving myself than eating to satiety without over-eating. I also found on maintenance that it was the time to also reduce all the disordered behaviour I had developed over the years with respect to eating. Ie. hoarding food, making my husband keep his evil carbs in his car, eating my daughters leftover sandwiches etc.

LiterateGriffin 01-23-2013 04:52 AM

Trillex,

lol Well, we always knew you were obsessive! ;) ~laughter~

You may be right. Self-sabotage? Usually, when I see myself going off-plan, it's due to something where I've got very little control over what's available to eat, and I end up making "lesser evil" choices.

I HAVE "cheated" in the past for social pressure. A friend's baby-shower last spring, that was thrown by her inlaws and a high-stress event for her (ie: not the kind of shower she wanted AT ALL, and she didn't even want to go). When sis-in-law handed me cake -- that was clearly her pride and she'd be offended if I didn't eat it... I ate the cake. (Another woman tried to refuse, and they made her feel awful until she, too, gave in.) I ate it without murmur, as a favor to my friend. (She appreciated what it meant, too.)

Birthday is going to be... a lot like that. Family who haven't seen me in years will be hurt if I don't have dessert on my birthday. (I already saw ONE of these cousins last month, and had trouble getting out of desert at a late brunch with him when I was genuinely stuffed from my chicken satay.) The irony is that all these folks -- except that first cousin -- are extremely thin. That first one isn't THIN, because he's taken up body-building in his 40's. He's LARGE... just not fat. :)

When I went "off-plan" for 2 months, I actually maintained just fine -- this way of eating is a reflex. As I said, I don't plan to really change how I eat, even now. BUT, as you say -- lately, at least, a lot of my success has been followed by... disappointment. Self-induced or otherwise.

I don't know. I know that RIGHT NOW, my back is out, and I've been in a lot of pain from it, since Friday. I've not really been weighing, because I had immediate swelling there, and I hate it when swelling shows up on my scale.

I'm also very happy with my gym-routine right now. The software I'm using is giving me some really CHALLENGING workouts, which I'm enjoying greatly (and feeling for days afterwards). I deeply miss my old (pre-move) gym partner, but recently bought myself an MP3 player. No, it's not the same as someone I love to chat with between sets or during cardio, but at least it's distracting. (My next "pending workout" is all shoulders & back... which means I'm not going in till next week, probably, to give this injury a chance to be truly better. Maybe get some swimming in between now & then, as that seems to HELP, by taking the pressure off.)

Then, there's head-space.

I've got these "ideas" about myself... For a long time, my large-framed self was BIG, but not fat/obese/overweight. I'm just LARGE -- I take up SPACE, always have. I was stunning. :D

Then my metabolism changed -- pretty much overnight when I was 26. I started the slow gain. Eventually, I had to recognize that I wasn't that girl anymore. I didn't look stunning in a strapless gown. In fact, it would be better if I never showed my arms in public.

Then, last winter, I woke up and was OBESE. Heavily. Started Atkins the next day.

But yes, I think there may be some sort of hidden mental block over losing my "overweight" status.

SO... If I'm no longer trying to change that -- just eating healthy (and maybe not feeling guilty over my birthday that's still weeks away), and continuing to get my BODY back in shape (still recovering from the months off when I had no gym!) -- and going about "business as usual"... while still generally keeping to <20g carbs, and increasingly challenging workouts.

Also? While I love how I feel and what I'm eating... I'm beyond depressed at how my scale has flat-lined.


(And out the door, to take hubby to work.)

LiterateGriffin 01-23-2013 06:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trillex (Post 16213458)
I've also noticed, it seems to me, that in times when you are the proudest and most enthusiastic about your progress -- and happy about the benefits that have accrued along with that progress -- you seem to pull yourself back and go off-plan for a bit. ... I feel as if I'm missing some underlying information about *why* you feel it would be better to pause at this particular point rather than stay comfortably on your plan...

See? There's the rub. I plan to stay exactly where I am -- which includes eating the same way.

What's changing is my "goal" for right now. If I declare "I'm doing Maintenance for a bit", then if my weight flat-lines... I've reached goal! I've done what I set out to do.

EVERY SINGLE time I join or start any kind of "challenge", I hit a brick wall. Either my loss just STOPS for no apparent reason, or I get trapped at the zoo not once but TWICE in one week, or my back/knee goes out or some Kansas farmgirl drops a house on me, I SWEAR!

A related trend? 100% of the time when I start up a new physical-activity routine (whether going to the gym, to physical therapy, or taking a martial arts class) I'll first get injured (usually back going out -- and NOT related to the exercise) and then get sick. Every. Single. Time. I've learned to just stick it out, and keep ATTEMPTING to go... After the second "obstacle", things clear up and I'm able to enjoy smooth sailing.

So with this, I'm going to stick with LC. On my birthday, if I'm in "Maintenance", I can allow myself to indulge in desert without feeling guilty and resorting to self-flagellation. Instead, I can handle it gracefully, and use the advice I've practiced and given others so many times. (Eat high-fat first, so you're less hungry. Be extra-restrictive with carbs before and after, and get in some extra exercise to help deplete the glycogen you're going to store up).

And all this time that I'm basically giving myself permission to not-stress, I'll be sneakily working on changing my body-composition. Which means that in a couple months, it should be somewhat easier to resume my downward trend.

But, well, I AM a woman obsessed right now. And I think it's hurting me.


(And I've taken nothing you said as an attack. I have, however, taken it as thought-provoking. And provoking thoughts is exactly why I posted about this in the first place!)

avid 01-23-2013 07:38 AM

Very insightful

Trillex 01-23-2013 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LiterateGriffin (Post 16213911)
So with this, I'm going to stick with LC. On my birthday, if I'm in "Maintenance", I can allow myself to indulge in desert without feeling guilty and resorting to self-flagellation. Instead, I can handle it gracefully, and use the advice I've practiced and given others so many times. (Eat high-fat first, so you're less hungry. Be extra-restrictive with carbs before and after, and get in some extra exercise to help deplete the glycogen you're going to store up).

And all this time that I'm basically giving myself permission to not-stress, I'll be sneakily working on changing my body-composition. Which means that in a couple months, it should be somewhat easier to resume my downward trend.

But, well, I AM a woman obsessed right now. And I think it's hurting me.

The image I have of you is of a *stunning* woman. You are bright and funny. You generously give your support and assistance to everyone in this community. These traits are what make you such a beautiful person. In that vein, I get the impression that you derive pleasure from pleasing other people. And that making an eating decision, which goes against your personal health choices, pleases you when you know that your decision will make another person happy -- as at your friend's baby shower. I think the motivation to make someone happy is as good a reason to have creme brulee as your initial reason for choosing to eat low-carb. Watching your actions make someone else happy is emotionally fulfilling, and enjoying that pleasure is the sign of a generous character.

I don't know that I have the *right* to have any concerns in this matter, but my main concern was that you might regret your choices to eat off-plan -- phrases like "sour grapes" and "depression" that the scale has "flat-lined" made me think that you might have some underlying discomfort. As you've just said, though, you are quite comfortable with this choice and it's simply what you want to do right now. I think that's a great thing! I just don't want to ultimately see you beat yourself up, and I'm glad that isn't what you're doing.

LiterateGriffin 01-23-2013 11:10 AM

Depression is an ongoing problem for me. Always has been.

One of the things that's helped me stay focused in the past -- even when I'd have a "blip" -- is that my graph was going down. Well, it's stopped. Pretty adamantly.

For a year straight, I've been focused -- to the point of obsession -- on losing. Well, I've STOPPED losing (though haven't stopped having the other incredible benefits of improved diet).

And yes, I like to please, in general. In addition, I have special "issue" when it comes to avoiding conflict around food. Let's say we're roommates, and you tell me you don't like mushrooms. Not ONLY will I never serve you mushrooms -- I'll never buy them, have them in the house or eat them in your presence, even if we're eating out. (This whole issue actually caused some early problems in my marriage! Hubby would declare, "I don't like X. Never serve it again!", and then be shocked at how literally I took this.)

All of this doesn't mean I'll never make it to goal. Heck -- I made it this far, didn't I? Even my family eats this way now, though the others aren't as "strict" as I am. (After all, the kids need to GAIN weight, not loose, and hubby is more or less AT a healthy weight. They have more leeway.)

What it means is that I'm not going to focus on or worry about loss, right now. A little mental mis-direction, maybe.


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