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Old 01-21-2013, 10:42 AM   #31
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I wanted to start off by saying congratulations on hitting goal. Being able to stick to something and see your results is a very empowering feeling. My whole life I was very overweight, my heaviest being 270lbs. When I got down to 150lbs, I was more miserable than ever. I wasn’t sure if it was because, that was it; I was at goal and now what? All that energy that you put into hitting goal really keeps you busy but when you have finally hit your goal that feeling that you have been waiting for just isn’t always there. I ended up gaining half of the weight back due to surgery and some set backs so I am now on LC but either way I feel more beautiful now then I did when I was 150lbs. I wanted to share with you what finally made me happy and feel beautiful because I have a heavy heart when it comes to this subject. I feel like more than ever today there are millions of woman walking around hating on their bodies, comparing themselves to images that are false and not realistic. By false I mean airbrushed images and people starving them selves just to feel attractive. What happened to us woman?? This is a vicious cycle that unless we start to focus on the things that matter, it will always consume our thoughts.

First off I realized that although I was heavier than I wanted to be my body is a temple and functions the way I need it to. I am able to walk, use my arms, see, hear, smell, breath and do most things in life without giving it a 2nd thought. Do you know how many people don’t have these simple luxuries? Some people can’t walk, they can’t see or struggle with an illness or learning disability. That in it’s self is enough to stop verbally abusing our bodies. Next thing I did was study the behavior of woman around me that are heavy but beautiful. The winning key was confidence…they were all confident. You know why they were confident? Because they weren’t defined by their weight or clothing size but by their accomplishments and talents. So I sat down one day and made a list of all the things that I have accomplished not related to weight. In that list I made sure to add my talents as well as all the things that make me shine as an individual…you would be amazed at how great this made me feel about myself. I tend to be a personal cheerleader to all of my loved ones and family so I put that on my list, I have climbed to the very top in my carrier, my hobbies are writing and playing music in my band and people enjoy our music…these are all things that when I read my list to my self out loud, made me feel like a million bucks. Make a list, find all the reasons why you ROCK and let those reasons define you and then keep reminding yourself of these things daily until they are ingrained in your brain. You will find that in time your thoughts will change. I get more compliments now on my appearance then I ever have and the only thing that has changed is I stopped focusing all my energy on my looks and weight and I started focusing my energy on truly loving myself with flaws and all. Ultimately that is what people see now…not my size 14/16. Sorry for the long post but I wanted to share with you what helped me overcome my negative body issues. Hope this helps a little. You are a beautiful woman who just hit her goal, enjoy that feeling!!!
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Old 01-21-2013, 11:35 AM   #32
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congratulations. I once read a great article called "When I'm Thin I'll Be Perfect." I think that captures a lot of the trouble. Look around you. In general, thin people have all the same problems fat people do. a FEW less, but then some different ones too...

try looking at the self help books at your local library. there are tons of things on this general subject. I think you could find some help and inspiration. good luck!
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Old 01-21-2013, 01:33 PM   #33
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Congratulations on hitting your goal! I like the idea of keeping a picture of your "heavy" self with you. Then you can see how far you have come! Do you keep a diary? I have one and it is enlightening to go back and read through it. Try it!
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Old 01-21-2013, 02:30 PM   #34
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I still have a bad self image too. weight loss brought extra skin. even though I only lost 30 something, skin. (from babies I think). I know it must be bad because I still look fat to me but my BF calls be bony now. We can't both be right.

Now I actualy eat so I know Im not having an eating disorder, so I think that is body dysmorphic disorder. When you think you look like what you dont look like. But you dont actually do anything about it (anorexia, bulimia, act on there self image)
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Old 01-21-2013, 06:26 PM   #35
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Dezi your post reminded me of a youtube video I saw once that was titled something like "How you can be a size 4 and still feel fat" ... the woman had lost allot of weight and was showing the excess skin tucked in and hanging out of her size 4 jeans. Showing how from her own perspective looking down it bulged out.

Personally I have had all my excess skin removed, but I can really relate... the excess skin and connective tissues can really make you feel like you are heavier (fatter) than you are.
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Old 01-21-2013, 07:30 PM   #36
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I think you look awesome !! congrats on reaching goal........adjust as needed, but enjoy !
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Old 01-21-2013, 09:33 PM   #37
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First, congratulations. You made your goal. You are beautiful.
Second, the folks here who tell you that it could be in your head-- are right. I have gotten down to 120, 115, 105 pounds in my life, and those weights were actually too low. People told me that I looked too thin, and, looking back at photos, they were right. But I DID NOT SEE THAT. Now, on the other hand, the person who said she goes by size -- has something there. I was always happiest when I was a 4-6 size. Now, I know that sizes have changed over the years and now we have size 2 and 0. really!???
But...sometimes...a number CAN make one happy. It makes me happy to wear size 6s, it really does. 4? It all depends on what the garment is. I LIKE to be very thin. I'm most comfortable in a size 4-6 body. I'm at ease in it, I'm confident in it, I never have to suck in my gut or be self-conscious. I look good from all angles. I'm HAPPY in that body!! I am nearly there, too! I'm a 6 now (but i also like and wear 8s -- oh you know how varied sizes are between labels) and you know what? In the sizes department, I'm the happiest I've been in years. JUST BE CAREFUL and listen to people when they say that you are too thin, because sometimes they are right.
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First started Atkins April 1, 2002.
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Old 01-21-2013, 11:29 PM   #38
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First of all, you are gorgeous! However, I have noticed that a lot of really attractive people have a hard time seeing themselves that way. I have a 16-year-old battling that demon right now.

I don't know if you are a believer or this will help you, but one thing I tell her is to try to look at herself through God's eyes. He created each of us very specifically and he loves her so much, just the way she is. To Him she is the most beautiful thing in the world. If you can learn to look at yourself that way, then you won't worry about any tiny flaws.

Congrats on reaching your goal, too.
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"We're all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." ~ Oscar Wilde

First goal: Onederland - reached Dec. 2012
Next goal: 180s (not been there in 15 years!)
Final goal: 155 (within the healthy range for 5'7")
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Old 01-22-2013, 05:36 AM   #39
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Again, thank you all for the encougement!! LCF is such an amazing place and I truly appreciate all of you that have taken the time to respond to me.

Lori...actually I am a believer and the Lord really taught me something yesterday through my 17 year old DD. She is beautiful (I know all mothers say that, but she really is!) but came to me crying yesterday struggling with exactly what I posted! The Lord showed me a couple of things but most importantly that while we should strive to be healthy and be the best me I can be, as women this is not our only value. We are bombarded from so many directions on perfection, but perfection comes in all shapes and sizes.

I believe that I am in a better place mentally today then on Saturday when I posted. This has been an issue my ENTIRE life! As far back as I can remember I have felt not good enough in so many areas. Life is a journey and I believe that we all have areas that have been a consistant stronghold in our lives. This is mine and it's time to get over it!! When I take a step back away from myself I see how ridiculous I'm being, but when I get all self-consumed I am so hard on myself and mean to myself. Why? I really don't know.
I've always admired people that may be a little heavy but feel so comfortable with themselves. Wish I knew the secret. I will work on all the great advice given in this thread!!
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Old 01-22-2013, 06:21 AM   #40
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jandjsmom View Post
I hit 127 today and while I'm so proud of myself for not giving up and finally, for a rarity, finished something in my life!

I thought that once I hit my goal that I would finally be happy with myself. I know there are so many people that would be ecstatic if they were in the 120's but I still look in the mirror and am not happy. I look in the mirror and say this or that looks awful. Now I think I need to re-adjust my goal to 120 and then I will be happy. But in the back of my mind I know that's not the case. I've had such poor body image my whole life and I'm reallly tired of it!

I want to be happy, I want to feel good about myself, I want to be proud of what I have accomplished but for some reason I still am so critical of myself.

How do you fix this kind of thinking???
i didn't read al the replies....i am the same heghit as you. i too got to, what in retrospect, was goal, fall of 2011. i have pics to prove it. i too remember not feeling satisfied...what i would give to be that weight now...don't let that happen to you. i regret so fiercely my ungrateful attitude i had back then. today i am up 20 lbs and i hate it. i beg you to be happy right where you are...you don't want to feel like i do now.

CONGRATS on getting to goal!
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Old 01-22-2013, 10:07 AM   #41
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dazygyrl View Post
i didn't read al the replies....i am the same heghit as you. i too got to, what in retrospect, was goal, fall of 2011. i have pics to prove it. i too remember not feeling satisfied...what i would give to be that weight now...don't let that happen to you. i regret so fiercely my ungrateful attitude i had back then. today i am up 20 lbs and i hate it. i beg you to be happy right where you are...you don't want to feel like i do now.

CONGRATS on getting to goal!
You are right!! I'm definitly glad I'm where I am. I'm working on it. Don't beat yourself up about gaining the weight back, you know how to lose it and now you know how easy it is to put it back on. Take it as a lesson learned and be proud of yourself that you are back on track and didn't let it get too far gone. I'm sure you can lose that weight back again and now you are armed with wisdom to help others....
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Old 01-22-2013, 10:12 AM   #42
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haha that's diana rigg as emma peel (both the actress and character are my idols)
this is moi - December 2011 and December 2012
I have about 10 more pounds to go

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Old 01-22-2013, 11:47 AM   #43
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Congratulations on reaching goal! You are gorgeous!
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Old 01-22-2013, 11:53 AM   #44
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Congratulations on reaching your goal!

I think it is perfectly reasonable for feeling a major sense of accomplishment after reaching a number goal. I think you have every right to feel good about hitting your number.

And look at how far you've come! Imagine how you'd look if you walked around with 18 lbs of butter tucked around you. Now look at yourself for real, and then see how you feel about things.

I hope you can feel proud of your accomplishment. I'm proud of you.
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Old 01-22-2013, 12:43 PM   #45
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Congratulations! I have no advice because I have never reached my goal but I'm still trying. I think you are beautiful and you should be so very proud of yourself. It's hard work and 127 lbs is a huge accomplishment!

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Old 01-22-2013, 02:25 PM   #46
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DiamondDeb View Post
I never understand why anyone thinks a number is going to make them happy. Numbers do not have much to do with how one actually looks or feels.

What do you want to see when you look in the mirror? How do you want to feel physically? Focus on those things and think about how you have met those goals - if you have. You need to stop focusing on the way you looked and felt in the past. Think positively all the time. If you do this while losing you are more likely to be happy and realize it when you get where you want to go. After the fact it may take more time to adjust.
While this sounds great, it's not that helpful in a practical or encouraging way IMO. If it were this easy, no one would have issues with body image.

Last edited by Jennyl; 01-22-2013 at 02:32 PM..
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Old 01-22-2013, 02:26 PM   #47
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Congratulations on meeting your goal! That is a huge accomplishment. Many of us have body image issues and its not always easy to deal with. Don't give up though, you have done wonderfully and don't you forget it.
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Old 01-22-2013, 03:19 PM   #48
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Originally Posted by Jennyl View Post
While this sounds great, it's not that helpful in a practical or encouraging way IMO. If it were this easy, no one would have issues with body image.
I never said it was easy. This may sound easy but it is not. It takes consistant effort - but it works.

Last edited by DiamondDeb; 01-22-2013 at 03:20 PM..
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Old 01-22-2013, 06:14 PM   #49
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First, CONGRATULATIONS on getting to your goal! You should be very proud of yourself!

You're very beautiful -- that's what everyone else sees. Body image issues are tough, as so many of us know from experience.

Maybe it will just take some time to let your brain catch up with your body, so to speak.

Stay positive and hopefully soon you'll see what we do!
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Old 01-22-2013, 07:18 PM   #50
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Congratulations. Listen to your husband, you look great.
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Old 01-23-2013, 01:24 PM   #51
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Congrats on reaching your goal! You deserve huge props.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Psmileyf View Post
It takes a long time to change your body image. I imagine when you gained weight it took a while until you saw yourself as heavier...it will take a while for your brain to catch up with your body again!

I carry around 2 pictures of me at my worst. They remind me that I don't want to go back there, but they also remind me how far I have come.
I agree totally. It does take a long time for your mind to catch up. Back in the 1980's, I lost about 40 pounds from being sick. I remember walking into a store with a camera and monitor set up at the entry. When you walked in, you could see yourself from behind on the monitor. If I hadn't recognized the clothes, I wouldn't have known it was me.
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