Low Carb Friends  
Netrition.com - Tools - Reviews - Faces - Recipes - Home


Go Back   Low Carb Friends > Main Lowcarb Lobby
Register FAQ Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-02-2013, 04:20 PM   #1
Senior LCF Member
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 78
Gallery: Lucy1018
WOE: Paleolithic-no dairy, moderate amounts of fruit
Getting back on track after the holidays-afraid to weigh in, and obnoxious comments

Ok, so I fell off track a bit during the holidays and need to get back on track. I'm not sure if I've gained weight, but I probably have-at least a few pounds, anyway. My jeans are a little tighter but they still basically fit, so that's what I'm going by. But, I don't want to know, so I'm not weighing myself. That kind of frustrates me because I see that as another sign of me not being as committed as I was when I started, but I think that weighing myself right now would do more harm than good.

Sometimes my Mom or Dad will say things that they think are encouraging/neutral but are actually annoying/demeaning. For instance, I told my Mom that I was reading "How to lose the holiday weight" to help get me in the right mindset, and she said, 'Yes, you really seem to go in and out as far as commitments are concerned, I don't understand how your mind works.' Really, was that necessary? I understand what she means, but I still found her comment unhelpful. Basically, I needed to hear that everyone falls off track and just to jump right back on the horse; instead, she attributed my diet failure to mental pathology. I told her I didn't really appreciate that, and she said, "I know, but you weren't putting any of that in your mouth, and then you have been eating everything, so I don't get it." I don't really get it, either, but does she need to say that out loud? Give me a break.


Anyway, what are your best tips for getting remotivated after the holiday season? And, what do you do with comments that you find frustrating? Ie, how do you process them in a manner that allows you to see them as resulting from the other person's communication issues rather than as truisms that define your understanding of your abilities/willpower as a dieter/person?
Lucy1018 is offline   Reply With Quote

Sponsored Links
Old 01-02-2013, 04:33 PM   #2
Very Gabby LCF Member!!!
 
princessmommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: NW Arkansas
Posts: 4,247
Gallery: princessmommy
Stats: 207/176/140-145
WOE: Low Carb!
Start Date: May 21 Yet Again!
Ugh! Dontcha just Love those comments! Not! They never helped me either! The only thing I can tell you that worked for ME is realizing that i'm Worth more then food is bad for me. I remember how much Better I feel Mentally as well as physically when I eat LC!
princessmommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2013, 04:38 PM   #3
Major LCF Poster!
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 2,926
Gallery: svenskamae
Stats: 235/178/135 5'3"
WOE: Nutritional Ketosis/Primal/JUDDD
Start Date: January 15, 2012
Sorry that you are having to deal with those comments at home, Lucy. I suggest that you just stay away from the topic of weight loss, weight, and diet with your family. Come to this board and read and post instead. Join a challenge group and post and read there daily. The people here "get it"; they will be happy to tell you that almost everyone falls off track and need to get back on that lowcarb horse after forgiving yourself. Try to change the subject to something else--the weather, whatever--when you are around people who don't get it and won't give you the support you need. But you can get that kind of support here.

I suggest that you join a challenge group, that you get rid of the carby temptation food (or at least put it in a separate cupboard, if it has to be around for other people), that you make sure that you are well prepared with lowcarb foods on hand, and that you try out some tempting lowcarb recipes (like those here and on Linda Sue's website) as steps to take for getting remotivated and on-plan after the holidays.

Many people here are recommitting to a low carb lifestyle after a challenging holiday season, so know that you aren't alone. The important thing is what you do now and in the future, not what you did last week. Good luck!
svenskamae is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2013, 04:40 PM   #4
Senior LCF Member
 
jhbyrd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 613
Gallery: jhbyrd
Stats: 235/185/150
WOE: Low Carb
Start Date: Feb 2012
Just wanted to say sorry that your family does NOT get it, well I am a mom and totally GET IT!! SO SORRY just some and
jhbyrd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2013, 04:55 PM   #5
Junior LCF Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 2
Gallery: zestytx
Being a mother, I know I sometimes say things the wrong way... try to ignore mom and just concentrate on what YOU want to do! No discussion with her or anybody else in the family is worth getting upset and getting off track. Good for you for getting back to your eating plan for 2013!
zestytx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2013, 05:07 PM   #6
Major LCF Poster!
 
Jaded62's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 2,552
Gallery: Jaded62
WOE: Low Carb
Start Date: 1/1/14
I am SORRY she said such hurtful things to you. Is she overweight?? If not she most likely just does not get how hard it is to lose weight. Most thin people don`t,unless they have been there.Try not to discuss weight or diet with her again.
I find a good way to jump back on the lc woe is to do an meat and egg fast for three days.It gets you back into ketosis fast,overnight for me. I started back today and can tell a big difference tonight and feel ketosis starting. Drink lots of water, it helps. Good Luck !!!!
Jaded62 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2013, 06:45 PM   #7
Blabbermouth!!!
 
ebonyeyz28's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Inland Empire, CA
Posts: 5,028
Gallery: ebonyeyz28
Stats: Then: 274.5, size 28 Now:173, Size 12!
WOE: Atkins Maintenance
Start Date: December 27, 2002
When it comes to frustrating comments - whether about weight, a new haircut, an outfit, etc - handling them can depend a lot on what's going on in your own head. If you're unsure of yourself or feeling frustrated, it's much easier to let those comments get to you or get you off track. What you think, you become, so start to tell yourself as many positive things as possible and surround yourself with positive thinkers - like folks here - and don't entertain negativity. I know that may seem idealistic and far-fetched but it works!
ebonyeyz28 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2013, 07:05 PM   #8
Major LCF Poster!
 
sfmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: North Central, Illinois
Posts: 1,053
Gallery: sfmom
Stats: 176/112.0/135 5'8" tall
WOE: Low carb
Do you have any siblings that you can vent to? My mom never had a weight problem in her life but she always made critical comments to me and my 2 sisters that had weight problems. The three of us would just roll our eyes at each other and have consolation in the fact that she would do it to all of us not just one of us. But never the less, it does hurt, you expect a parent to be supportive and being a mom myself I know sometimes things do come out wrong. I agree with the others, I would not discuss your diet or weight loss with her if you are only going to get negative feedback, that is not good for you. We would be more than happy to be your cheerleaders!!!
I don't know how many times I restarted until it finally clicked for me. Make sure you have low carb things in the house that you like to eat and don't let yourself get too hungry where your apt to just grab anything.
As someone mentioned lots of people are restarting, it's no big deal. Every day is a new day and a new opportunity to do better. Hang in there, post whenever you need support or just want to vent.

Audrey
sfmom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2013, 07:20 PM   #9
Senior LCF Member
 
limetwist's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 913
Gallery: limetwist
Stats: [5'8"] 230/IT IS A MYSTERY/135ish
WOE: Low carb - Intermittent fasting
Start Date: 01/2011, got lazy/married, rebooting FOR REAL 2014
Completely cut any and all food, diet, or health-related discussion with the offending party. Don't utter a word. Don't talk about your clothing size, don't discuss that article on America's obesity epidemic you read the other day, and don't talk about what you made for dinner that night. Really, just completely drop it.

And then kick some butt, drop the weight, and make your mom be the one to finally breach the topic again as she notices the amazing progress you have made. She'll be begging you for pointers in no time.

limetwist is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2013, 11:57 AM   #10
Guest
 
Passion68's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Excuselessville
Posts: 2,011
Gallery: Passion68
Stats: 294/268.8/145 5'5"
WOE: 20 carbs/Lcal
Start Date: 01/02/2012
Lucy, I am so sorry she said those things to you. My mom and I have a dysfunctional relationship when it comes to food and weight issues. In fact, it's so bad I stopped seeing her on Thanksgiving because its such a food centric holiday. She's of "normal weight" and always has been. The only time she's ever asked about my weight loss is when I mentioned at the beginning of last year how much I lost the first week, and that was only to ask how I was doing it. (She's competitive and everything is about her.)

Anyway, my solution is what others have mentioned: Stay away from the topic when it comes to her (and any other naysayers). If she, or anyone else does compliment you, simply smile, say thank you, and change the topic.

Passion68 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2013, 12:03 PM   #11
Very Gabby LCF Member!!!
 
Trigger828's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 3,065
Gallery: Trigger828
WOE: LC my way
Start Date: ongoing lc lifestyle
ah, let it roll right off your back. because if you give it ANY MERIT then it weighs on your mind, monkeys with your re-commitment and gives you more usless things to think about

my mom says what she thinks is helpful. UGH. they are the strangest comments. "you don't need that food do you?' heck even if it is on plan food she might make a comment. I say---sure I can eat that and lose weight! then she might say, 'well if you cut back a bit more you could lose a bit faster'. UGH again. HAHA

I let it roll right off. I know my mom doesn't say one word to hurt me intentionally. it is helpful. does it help? NO but I don't care. I get along so great with my parents that when the stupid things are said I let them go. don't give them another thought. cause if I did think about those things I would do some stupid stuff. Like try to modify my menu more and more and screw up a good thing I have going LOL

let it go. only you can give those comments fire to burn you. douse them and forget it.
__________________
Gonna get this done
Trigger828 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2013, 02:18 PM   #12
Very Gabby LCF Member!!!
 
Phranquie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 3,462
Gallery: Phranquie
Stats: 325+/149/125/ (5'-3" & 52 yo)
WOE: Moderate Carb
Start Date: Restart: 7/16/12
You know why mothers can push our buttons so easily? Because they are the ones who installed them! Family, friends and total strangers will feel free to comment on what you eat, how you eat, how fast or slow you are losing, that they could never give up "x" carb laden food and a host of other comment without knowing how some comments may hit you. My mother had not seen me in several years and said that when she saw me last she did not recognize me and wanted to know what fat monster had swallowed me. Nice huh?

As others have advised don't bring up your way of eating or weight loss with your mom or other insensitive individuals. If they ask questions just say you are doing good and you
feel good.

To get motivated I pull out clothes that don't fit and try them on every few weeks. This makes me feel successful when I cannot actually see the loss in the mirror. Also make sure you are stocked up on LC foods you love so you do not feel deprived. If I feel deprived by what I am eating I know I need some bacon to get back in the groove of LC eating.
__________________
Frankie
Nothing right now can possibly taste as good as thin will feel!!!
Phranquie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2013, 02:56 PM   #13
Major LCF Poster!
 
Erin57's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 2,353
Gallery: Erin57
Stats: 220/150/145 5'9"
WOE: Moderate Carb/IF
Start Date: April 2010
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phranquie View Post
You know why mothers can push our buttons so easily? Because they are the ones who installed them! Family, friends and total strangers will feel free to comment on what you eat, how you eat, how fast or slow you are losing, that they could never give up "x" carb laden food and a host of other comment without knowing how some comments may hit you. My mother had not seen me in several years and said that when she saw me last she did not recognize me and wanted to know what fat monster had swallowed me. Nice huh?

As others have advised don't bring up your way of eating or weight loss with your mom or other insensitive individuals. If they ask questions just say you are doing good and you
feel good.

To get motivated I pull out clothes that don't fit and try them on every few weeks. This makes me feel successful when I cannot actually see the loss in the mirror. Also make sure you are stocked up on LC foods you love so you do not feel deprived. If I feel deprived by what I am eating I know I need some bacon to get back in the groove of LC eating.
My mom lives with me now, so I can't just walk away or politely make my excuses and hang up. We have had a few run ins with this. I finally told her that my poor body image is a direct response to hers and the comments she has made to me since about age 12. She is not allowed to comment on the size of my hips, etc......
Erin57 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2013, 03:50 PM   #14
Fat Burning Machine Extraordinaire!
 
DiamondDeb's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 74,464
Gallery: DiamondDeb
Stats: 125+ lbs lost
If you don't want comments you need to not talk about the subject at all. I know that can be difficult but it is the best way to avoid them.
DiamondDeb is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2013, 08:15 PM   #15
Senior LCF Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Montana
Posts: 285
Gallery: enna1477
Stats: 255/145/160
WOE: Self designed LC
Start Date: November 2010
Sometimes I think the comments that sting the most are the ones that have a grain of truth. Unless the comment is completely false, I've found it easier (and almost therapeutic) to agree to meet in the middle:

"Yes, mom, I sometimes struggle to be perfect in my habits. But I always resolve to get back on track and I think reading these advice articles helps me keep my focus."

Then I take off my shoe and hit her in the face with it.
enna1477 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2013, 09:24 PM   #16
Major LCF Poster!
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 2,926
Gallery: svenskamae
Stats: 235/178/135 5'3"
WOE: Nutritional Ketosis/Primal/JUDDD
Start Date: January 15, 2012
Quote:
Originally Posted by enna1477 View Post
Sometimes I think the comments that sting the most are the ones that have a grain of truth. Unless the comment is completely false, I've found it easier (and almost therapeutic) to agree to meet in the middle:

"Yes, mom, I sometimes struggle to be perfect in my habits. But I always resolve to get back on track and I think reading these advice articles helps me keep my focus."

Then I take off my shoe and hit her in the face with it.
I imagine that mental image must help sometimes, when one has said a super reasonable response like the one you quote (through gritted teeth).
svenskamae is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2013, 10:09 PM   #17
Senior LCF Member
 
gladee88er's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Goldfield, NV
Posts: 291
Gallery: gladee88er
Stats: 240 / 173.1 / 165
WOE: modified Atkins
Start Date: April 2011
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucy1018 View Post
Ok, so I fell off track a bit during the holidays and need to get back on track. I'm not sure if I've gained weight, but I probably have-at least a few pounds, anyway. My jeans are a little tighter but they still basically fit, so that's what I'm going by. But, I don't want to know, so I'm not weighing myself. That kind of frustrates me because I see that as another sign of me not being as committed as I was when I started, but I think that weighing myself right now would do more harm than good.

Anyway, what are your best tips for getting remotivated after the holiday season? And, what do you do with comments that you find frustrating? Ie, how do you process them in a manner that allows you to see them as resulting from the other person's communication issues rather than as truisms that define your understanding of your abilities/willpower as a dieter/person?
I went ballistic the last couple weeks too. I ate ice cream, pound cake, tons of fudge, chocolate covered everything, jars of peanut butter, etc...etc. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and ate anything I wanted. Even had some pasta and rice here and there.

Thankfully I only gained about 5 pounds. I resolved I would start hardcore LC for awhile to get the extra pounds off. Most of it is gone already. I feel empowered that I can now seize control back and lose the weight quickly. I have also noticed that for the first time ever...I am very concious of the 5 pounds now. Never used to be until I had put on 20 or 30 extra pounds after a bender.

You have to remember that the sooner you get back on track, the sooner you'll be back where you was before the holidays. I like the meat and eggs idea for a week or so. Drink a gallon of water a day too if you can. You'll feel better after you're back on track.

As far as your mother goes...I wouldn't give it a second thought. I learned some time ago that there is no sense wasting even a minute worrying about things and people you have no control over. Happy New Year and good luck!
gladee88er is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2013, 11:13 PM   #18
Major LCF Poster!
 
LoriWants2Lose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Anywhere my imagination takes me
Posts: 2,452
Gallery: LoriWants2Lose
Stats: 228.6/192/155
WOE: Atkins
Start Date: October 12, 2012
First, getting off-track during the holidays is probably pretty normal and good for you that you are recommitting.

I'm a mom, too, and sometimes my 19 year old takes what I say the wrong way. I can walk on eggshells in the way I word things and she still hears it in a different way than I meant it. I agree with others that you should probably just avoid this topic with her. Either she doesn't understand or the two of you aren't communicating well about this topic. Maybe both things are going on. Whatever the problem, you aren't likely to find support there. Seek it from others you know are supportive.

Hang in there. You can do this.
__________________
Lori

"We're all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." ~ Oscar Wilde

First goal: Onederland - reached Dec. 2012
Next goal: 180s (not been there in 15 years!)
Final goal: 155 (within the healthy range for 5'7")
LoriWants2Lose is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-04-2013, 08:52 AM   #19
Guest
 
Passion68's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Excuselessville
Posts: 2,011
Gallery: Passion68
Stats: 294/268.8/145 5'5"
WOE: 20 carbs/Lcal
Start Date: 01/02/2012
Quote:
Originally Posted by enna1477 View Post
Sometimes I think the comments that sting the most are the ones that have a grain of truth. Unless the comment is completely false, I've found it easier (and almost therapeutic) to agree to meet in the middle:

"Yes, mom, I sometimes struggle to be perfect in my habits. But I always resolve to get back on track and I think reading these advice articles helps me keep my focus."

Then I take off my shoe and hit her in the face with it.
Passion68 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-04-2013, 09:02 AM   #20
Major LCF Poster!
 
juliekaboolie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Bellingham, WA
Posts: 1,375
Gallery: juliekaboolie
WOE: Whole30
Start Date: 1/7/11
I can relate. I also agree with those who posted above: avoid the topic with her completely. If she brings it up, change the subject.

As for you and weighing, etc: don't weigh yourself if it freaks you out. Really, all of this 'diet' stuff isn't about the number as much as it's about health! Just get back on track and monitor your progress through your clothes and how you feel. No pressure! My husband is like this...the scale completely freaks him out (and his very fit and thin). He maybe weighs himself once every 3 months or so. Me? I'm 2-3 times daily weigher and have been since the age of 10! It doesn't seem to emotionally affect me. I use the scale to monitor myself, otherwise I go into 'blocking' and 'denial' mode. LOL! Do what is right for YOU! (((HUGS)))
__________________
~ "Before"- 227lbs (2008)
~ "Current"-185lbs (April, 2013)

**My goal has changed from mere weight loss to health, quality of life, and longevity. This is no longer a diet but a way of life.**

"NEVER, NEVER, NEVER GIVE UP!"~Winston Churchill
juliekaboolie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-04-2013, 11:20 AM   #21
Major LCF Poster!
 
hockey_gal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: West Coast of Canada
Posts: 1,255
Gallery: hockey_gal
Stats: 172/156/150 5'7.5 Goal met: Aug 19/11
WOE: Moderate LC
Start Date: Aug 2010
This is what you should have said to your mother: I certainly enjoyed my holiday with all these treats and good meals - but it is time to get back to my plan.

Take control of your choices and don't beat yourself up about it. You decided to enjoy your holidays and not worry about your WOE. No big deal - you gained a little weight and it going to come off in the next week or two. Instead of "building it up" and making into something (example - having to get into the mindset again like you don't know what you need to do when you do know ), just start the VERY next time you put something in your mouth by making it on plan. Then you are officially back on plan.

I often go off plan. I had a piece of regular apple pie on xmas day - then nothing else as I felt bloated (ugh!!). Woke up boxing day and went RIGHT back to plan w/no guilt. Because this is MY life and MY choice. I don't FAIL myself when I follow through on my OWN decisions. My "commitment" to my WOE is still, over the long term, there - but it doesn't have to express itself in every morsel of food. It is JUST food.

((HUGS))
__________________
Deanne

Goal weight met: Aug 19/11

I played in the Longest Game for CF. We broke the Guinness record for longest hockey game.
hockey_gal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-04-2013, 06:20 PM   #22
Senior LCF Member
 
zombiegoat2000's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 766
Gallery: zombiegoat2000
Stats: Start 296.0#/258/150# 5'8" Female
WOE: Low Carb
Start Date: January2012
Sorry, sometimes people who don't have weight issues (and sometimes those who do) don't realize what they say can be the straw that breaks the camel's back! However, you need to get on that scale and break out the tape measure to find out what your stats are so you can get back on track. Denying that you have put on weight will not help you get back on track sooner, and could set you up to not going back on it at all!
zombiegoat2000 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-05-2013, 07:31 PM   #23
Senior LCF Member
 
Serenity_Rose's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 70
Gallery: Serenity_Rose
Stats: 290/290/130
WOE: South Beach
Start Date: January 2013
It's always hard when someone who SHOULD be supporting you says something that hurts, instead. Sometimes all you can do is let it roll, hang in there, and use it as motivation to prove them wrong.
Serenity_Rose is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-09-2013, 05:20 PM   #24
Senior LCF Member
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 78
Gallery: Lucy1018
WOE: Paleolithic-no dairy, moderate amounts of fruit
Thanks, everyone. Your support really helps. I am happy to report that I've been back on my diet for three days-so far, so good. I decided to do the egg/meat fast that people suggested with a little cheese here and there. I'm hopeful that if I wait until Monday or so, my weight will be back to a point that whatever I do have as a leftover gain won't freak me out too much. Or, I might wait until Jan 16th, since I have my first meeting with a personal trainer and I think that she's weighing me then.
Lucy1018 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:11 AM.


Copyright ©1999-2014 Friends Forums LLC. All rights reserved. - Terms of Service | Privacy Policy
LowCarbFriends® is a registered mark of Friends Forums, LLC.