Anyone else who can't picture themselves "thin?"

[LumpySpacePrincess]

I just can't get the picture in my mind's eye of what I'll look like when I'm at a normal weight! I've been chubby my whole life, and started to develop a large fat apron at about the age of 9, even though the rest of me was wasn't as big in proportion. I started ballooning up as a teenager, so I really don't have any memories of being a normal size!

I even remember clothes shopping for school in the 3rd grade and having to shop in the grown ladies section. I had bigger breasts in the 5th grade than my mom did at the time in her 30's!

Is there anyone else who can't picture themselves at a normal weight?? Its almost scary for me!

[princessmommy]

Yep me too. I wasn't fat until after I got married and settled into "married life" i lost some weight before we had our son 15 yrs ago but when I got preg with him I was so thrilled to Finally be pregnant after 5 yrs of infertility that I gave myself liscence to eat anything and Everything! I gained so much weight he was a 9lb 3 oz baby! I didnt lose weight until he was 3 yrs old and after I did his sister was on the way lol. I've been fat ever since. I see pics of myself from 12 yrs ago when I lost weight and I don't remember what it was even like! I'm down 24 lbs and i'm finally seeing good changes in my body. But i'm scared i'll mess it up and never be fit again.

[MargeGunderson]

If you have an analog scale (dial with needle, not digital), after getting your accurate weight, move it enough out of calibration so it looks as if you're at your goal weight as you stand on it.

That hard-fought, much-missed, much-wanted 120 just seems so elusive, especially during the agonizing stalls we all suffer through. Dialing my scale far enough out of calibration so I can stand there, look down and see that 120 between my feet has been a huge boost and made it seem more realistic even when I couldn't drum up the mental image.

Just remember to set it back at zero before your next weigh in so you aren't wracked with disappointment when you suddenly realize why the number looks so good this morning...

[Mssarge]

Not only can I not picture myself thin, I just realized that I'm afraid that when I do lose the weight, my apron will be so large I'll never have a "normal" figure. I'm wondering if that is one of the reasons I can't lose weight. I guess I'll find out when I lose the next 60 pounds..

[A&F]

I can't picture myself thin. I've lost almost 35 pounds (still have a ways to go) and I still see the overweight girl when I look in the mirror.

[tiggy_oz]

I've been bigger than average since about age 9 and have never ever been 'thin' as an adult. Although, looking back at my teen years I wish I could go back and really explain to myself that being 190-220lbs as a 5'10 althletic Germanic built girl really isn't that damn bad kiddo! Hitting 190 is my current goal

It's going to be strange. Nope, I cannot picture it yet. Laying down and having a flat tummy, weird concept!

It is going to happen though! And I'm going to be pic ho'ing alllll over the darned place.

[drjlocarb]

I lost 87 lbs in 1999 and was frustrated at what I looked like. I wish now that I would have known then what I know now! I would never have gained it all back!

Now I am trying to lose it AGAIN!!


Ttust me!

[sweetpinky]

Here!!!

I cannot even FATHEM what "skinny me" would look like these days! I lost 100lbs when I was a senior in HS and know what a skinny teenager me looked like, but I don't know what skinny, adult me might look like. Its weird to even think about!

Funny story, though....the other night, after washing my face and applying moisturizer, I was feeling my cheeks and couldn't help but think they felt "different" but I couldn't put my finger on what was different. Literally a FULL DAY LATER I realized what it was (after much thought)- wait for it- my cheeks weren't as fat! Oddly enough, it wasn't until that moment that I really SAW my face and saw how drastically it had changed in two months.

Goes to show, it really does take your brain a long time to catch up!

[Key Tones]

I have never been thin. I am having some issues with my face looking odd to me recently due to weight loss. I am looking a lot more like my mother than I thought!

Body image has always been off. Pictures of me always look fatter to me than I think I am! Still, I can't picture myself thin.

I know I will need skin removal surgery. It is actually an accepted part of my goals.

I am fine with it; I just want to look good in clothes at this point!

[LumpySpacePrincess]

Glad I'm not the only one who has this going on!!

Funny story...I remember going sitting in a movie theater with a friend of mine years ago waiting for the movie to start and just looking at her and honestly asking "What does it feel like to be able to look down and see your thighs?" She totally didn't understand, being the lifetime skinny girl.

Key Tones, I have skin removal surgery as part of my goals as well. When I hit about 180, I'm going to look into it. I know I could do it at around 220, but for some reason I want to hit the 100's on my own, not because they removed a chunk of fat from me. lol

[Gibbs]

That would be me. I started gaining at puberty, not too much, just chubby the rest of my school years. Then it seems like I went from chubby to obese over night! I don't want to be thin, just less of me, lots less of me!!

[Vilya]

I've been fat my whole life (I'm 39). Even if I get down to my goal, I will never have a "normal" figure unless I get surgery. Don't know if that will happen, but I would dearly love to look at my body and not be grossed out.

I will never be a stick figure anyway; I've got broad shoulders and huge hands and feet. 150 is probably the lowest I could ever be, and that would be pushing it.

[leeloo]

I've never been skinny, but I got into the high end of the normal BMI range back in 2002-ish. I looked good! . But I didn't look like I'd imagined or hoped - my tummy will never be flat, I'll always have droopy boobs and extra little wobbly bits here and there.

I realized when I lost the weight last time that I'll always have parts about my looks that don't please me, but I also realized that I still felt and looked 1000% better at a smaller size. A supportive bra and flattering clothes work wonders .

[countrycookinmama]

I can't imagine what I'll look like either. I've been overweight since I was 6. 200 lbs at the age of 12, so I really have no idea. It will be new to me. I think I'll always have big thighs and a big butt. I'll always have a flabby stomach because of all of the years of it being so big. I will never be able to afford skin surgery, so I'll just have to be happy with the smaller me, even with all of the imperfections.

[ravenrose]

to be honest, most people who have been obese their whole lives will never be thin, so this is not a real issue. I don't mean to be a downer, but it's true. some are remarkably successful, but most of us MAY get down halfway from our high weight to our goal weight, and if we can maintain that through the years, it's a miracle and far far better than any amount of loss and climbing back up to where you started, which is our usual pattern with losing, right?

and most of us have distorted body images so that we don't realize how big we are. so honestly, we will probably end up looking about like we think we look now! LOL

I know some will say I am being pessimistic, but I don't think so. I think this is real. And I think we should thank the stars that we have this wonderful tool to lose even HALF what we wish we could!

After losing 120 lb two years ago, I struggle to maintain that weight, even though I am still far from any "goal" weight. I try to be grateful for what I have accomplished, proud even, rather than seeing it as a failure. I regained as much as 15 lb at one time, but am back to my lowest weight. but it requires constant vigilance. It is the same as when I was losing, I can't eat any more, still about 1500 cal a day and 20 grams carbs, but I don't have the reinforcement of seeing the scale drop.

I have a friend who is a lot shorter than me who lost nearly 100 lb and she has gained back 20 lb since Christmas. I feel like crying every time I see her eat something that will cause more gain. It is terrible seeing someone in that stage!

good luck to all

[AngelMurray]

I feel like I have always been fat, but I realize now that that isn't true. I look at my daughter who is in awesome shape and I think back to when I weighed the same she does now, and feeling like I was grossly overweight. I remember when I weighed 130 lbs thinking people were looking at me thinking "wow, is she fat!"
So no, I guess I really can't imagine myself thin, because I don't really know what that is anymore... but dang it, I'm gonna get there!

Angel
271/267/140

[Ryiena]

I've been overweight pretty much my whole life. I was a little chubby when I was younger and remember by kindergarten I felt out of place. Kids didn't tease me then, but would ask me "why are you big?" My response was "cause I am!" I remember trying a low fat diet when I was still in elementary school. My aunt at the time was doing the low fat dieting and I thought it was soooo cool. When I visited her she made me a care package with stuff that was part of the diet and I thought I was a cool kid! The diet didn't last long, but I kept trying multiple diets over the years. It wasn't until I was an adult that I felt pity for myself. A young kid trying to put herself on a diet.

I have dreamed of being thin like folks around me but I've NEVER been able to picture myself as thin. I think I can achieve it (or get reasonably close to my goal weight) with LC where I haven't with low fat/low cal. My mom and diabetes are the main reasons that are driving me to lose weight. I know I can get there now, mostly because I'm very strict with my WoE (I love good BG numbers and diving into carbs only brings those numbers waaaay up!) and I know one slip up just sets me farther into the path my mother has taken. She is a renal dialysis patient who has been through multiple eye surgeries, foot surgeries, and a whole mess of other surgeries that all related to her diabetes and her eating habits. I don't want to be in that same situation. I'm taking care of myself!

[Deb34]

I remember when I weighed 130 lbs thinking people were looking at me thinking "wow, is she fat!"

this is precisely what I have burned in my brain, one moment in time when I was 14, standing with my cousins having our picture taken on a hot summer day and trying desperately to tug my t-shirt down to hide my belly! I still feel the anguish and despair and humilation of that girl who was also trying to disguise her DD breasts. I can feel the heat and even smell the hot grass and soil, that's how deeply engrained this memory is for me.

I know I will never FEEL thin even if I miraculously reach my goal of 140....it just won't happen.

[dsalazar4]

I have always been a big person as well. I thought I was fat as a teen, but looking back wasn't really. I was just not as thin as my peers. I can't picture myself thin. I don't want stick thin. I would like to be 170. I started off at 246.8 on 6/25 and this is bigger than I have ever been. I will be 53 next month and will never be a super model since everything is going south. Like most I will always have a belly because of my apron. I just want to be healthy

[Janknitz]

I was always very thin until infertility hormone treatments and my first pregnancy packed on the pounds. My problem is the opposite--with over 45 pounds lost, I keep expecting to see a thin person in the mirror and all I can think of when I look is "Damn, I'm STILL fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[Hot Tamale]

Originally Posted by Deb34

this is precisely what I have burned in my brain, one moment in time when I was 14, standing with my cousins having our picture taken on a hot summer day and trying desperately to tug my t-shirt down to hide my belly! I still feel the anguish and despair and humilation of that girl who was also trying to disguise her DD breasts. I can feel the heat and even smell the hot grass and soil, that's how deeply engrained this memory is for me.

I know I will never FEEL thin even if I miraculously reach my goal of 140....it just won't happen.

I have so many of these moments as memories. My whole life, really. Every big event I can remember is overshadowed by the thoughts I had about my size and appearance. Even the few times I had been at a somewhat normal weight...it was still my focus because I was so self-conscious. I feel like, by being heavy, I robbed myself of a big part of my life. Like looking at things through glasses that aren't yours... I am still not at my goal, but I have begun to be able to (sometimes) not be focused on my weight like I used to be. It is hard for me to imagine some people always being able to feel like this... It keeps me going - maintaining and trying to lose more. My brain has not caught up to how far I've come; it is a very odd situation.

[MargeGunderson]

Originally Posted by LumpySpacePrincess

I know I could do it at around 220, but for some reason I want to hit the 100's on my own, not because they removed a chunk of fat from me. lol

That's not removing a chunk of fat; it's throwing away the wrapper when you're done with what WAS inside of it.

And congrats for such a great accomplishment!

[Jennifer]

My DH and those who knew me "when" (I have lost 207 lbs) all tell me how skinny I am, and I was starting to believe them. I don't cringe when I look in the mirror, but I obviously know how to pose myself just right, because I was appalled when I saw this picture that DH took yesterday. (He took it as a joke to prove that I got home from work while it was still light outside) I really thought I was getting close to maintenance, but after seeing the picture I realize just how much further I have to go.

[LumpySpacePrincess]

Originally Posted by Jennifer

My DH and those who knew me "when" (I have lost 207 lbs) all tell me how skinny I am, and I was starting to believe them. I don't cringe when I look in the mirror, but I obviously know how to pose myself just right, because I was appalled when I saw this picture that DH took yesterday. (He took it as a joke to prove that I got home from work while it was still light outside) I really thought I was getting close to maintenance, but after seeing the picture I realize just how much further I have to go.

Jennifer, you look amazing!!

[tundrasusie]

I have been fat, thin, too fat, too thin and everything in between. But most of my adult life I have just been overweight always keeping my weight down to the high end so that I could still fit into the largest sizes of women clothes. Living where I do, Plus sizes are not really an option in the local stores (at least 10 years ago).

I still look at myself every day and feel fat I can honestly say that I was happier naked being over weight than I am now thinner. Its a weird feeling. I want to hide my body now. I should be happy I don't have a lot of loose skin, but I feel deflated and not pretty any more.

Body image is such a hard thing to get right in your head. You never see what is really there, but only what you silly head thinks it sees. Its been sooo many years that I have been at this stabilized normal weight, you would think my brain would have caught up by now.

[Jennifer]

LumpySpacePrincess - Thank you! You're doing great! I am a binger too, so know how hard it is to stay binge free for any length of time. I love your name!

Susie - Congrats on your stats!! I look deflated too, plus have a ton of hanging skin; surgery is definitely in my future. I'm glad you were able to avoid it, but I've been the human yo-yo for 25 years, including losing 150+ lbs twice No way was my skin gonna bounce back again! You are lovely!

[AngelMurray]

Originally Posted by tundrasusie

Body image is such a hard thing to get right in your head. You never see what is really there, but only what you silly head thinks it sees.

I completely agree. I have tried so hard to help my little girl develop a healthy body image. My husband tends to make a lot of jokes and kid people he knows about all kinds of things. I threatened him often after our daughter was born that if he ever made derogatory remark about her weight or shape, I would go midevil on him. He never has, but he tells her every day how beautiful and smart she is and you can tell how that has effected her self image.

[Kimberli33]

Originally Posted by Janknitz

I was always very thin until infertility hormone treatments and my first pregnancy packed on the pounds. My problem is the opposite--with over 45 pounds lost, I keep expecting to see a thin person in the mirror and all I can think of when I look is "Damn, I'm STILL fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

^me too.Sooo skinny for years I forget I'm not anymore,then the mirror reminds me