What's the worst comment you've received?

[eriksgirl]

So, I went to see my family over the 4th. We had a family reunion on Saturday and all everyone wanted to talk about was how "skinny" I was and how I needed to gain weight.

Seriously, my aunt told me that I was too thin and needed to gain weight immediately. My mom informed me that I had no boobs left. WTH!!!????? My dad asked if I had cancer that I wasn't telling anyone about and when I said no asked if I was depressed.

Grrrrrrrr, if I weighed 5 pounds more, I think they would say I was "chunky". LOL There's no making people happy.

So, what the worst thing people have said about your weight loss?? I'm sure I'm not the only one to get comments.

[PracticingMind]

I used to weigh more, then I lost it all, and then I gained it all back. But during the time that I had lost it, my mother would take the opportunity at every gathering with people that I hadn't known that long or hadn't seen in a while to explain to them, "She used to be a lot heavier."

It's because of stuff like that that I don't talk to her anymore.

[TaDa!]

I have a bunch ... not all 100% negative really once I cooled off and thought about it ...

Gyn Doctor: You look great, etc. But you should aim for 140 or so (25 bmi at my height), women our age need to carry a little more weight (she is a stick herself) <interpretation after I cooled off: She was just trying to be kind to me and not have me chasing a goal that might be too difficult).

Doctor: Have you had weightloss surgery? <I guess it's a valid question for a doctor when the patient has lost 100+ pounds since their last visit, lol! Still made me grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr>

Walmart CS Lady to other Walmart CS Lady: Omigosh, you see this woman here, she had weightloss surgery and lost an entire person in weight. My response: "Uhhhhhh, you must be thinking of someone else. I would never have weightloss surgery." <Again, I guess it's a logical assumption, but it really annoys me when people make it ..>

At least 6 different men at my gym (some of whom never had spoken a word to me before) came up to me, when I had reached 123, to tell me that they thought I had lost a little too much weight and should put some back on. <After I and I realized that these are people with no possible agenda at all and it made me take a step back, reevaluate and put on an extra 5 pounds to actual goal>

HOWEVER!!! You are getting some plain 'ol mean comments. In your position, I would just lay those aside and take a look at comments you might be getting from people who might be more objective and have no possible reason to feel threatened or affected by your amazing success.

I am really sorry you have to deal with that crap. If you look like the beautiful gal in your avatar, I'd say it's just a case of the green-eyed monster rearing its ugly head.



Pauline

ETA: Practicingmind: my mom used to make comments like that. A good dose of ignoring her comments, or embarrassing in front of that person when she made them has cured her ...

[eriksgirl]

My mom went out of her way to ask my sisters-in-law if they had noticed that I didn't have any boobs left. She did this right in front of me. I was mortified. Am I being too sensitive?? I guess I really don't have a whole lot left, but, common.

TaDa, you're a lot like me. I tend to get upset over people's comments, but then cool off and try to see the positive in what they said. Sometimes, it's hard. LOL

[lowcarbie]

Originally Posted by eriksgirl

So, I went to see my family over the 4th. We had a family reunion on Saturday and all everyone wanted to talk about was how "skinny" I was and how I needed to gain weight.

Seriously, my aunt told me that I was too thin and needed to gain weight immediately. My mom informed me that I had no boobs left. WTH!!!????? My dad asked if I had cancer that I wasn't telling anyone about and when I said no asked if I was depressed.

Grrrrrrrr, if I weighed 5 pounds more, I think they would say I was "chunky". LOL There's no making people happy.

So, what the worst thing people have said about your weight loss?? I'm sure I'm not the only one to get comments.

That is a very nice picture of you in your avatar, I don't understand those who want others to gain weight, unless your weight loss and your looking good makes them more aware that they should lose weight like you did, you look great!

[lowcarbie]

Originally Posted by TaDa!

I have a bunch ... not all 100% negative really once I cooled off and thought about it ...

Gyn Doctor: You look great, etc. But you should aim for 140 or so (25 bmi at my height), women our age need to carry a little more weight (she is a stick herself) <interpretation after I cooled off: She was just trying to be kind to me and not have me chasing a goal that might be too difficult).

Doctor: Have you had weightloss surgery? <I guess it's a valid question for a doctor when the patient has lost 100+ pounds since their last visit, lol! Still made me grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr>

Walmart CS Lady to other Walmart CS Lady: Omigosh, you see this woman here, she had weightloss surgery and lost an entire person in weight. My response: "Uhhhhhh, you must be thinking of someone else. I would never have weightloss surgery." <Again, I guess it's a logical assumption, but it really annoys me when people make it ..>

At least 6 different men at my gym (some of whom never had spoken a word to me before) came up to me, when I had reached 123, to tell me that they thought I had lost a little too much weight and should put some back on. <After I and I realized that these are people with no possible agenda at all and it made me take a step back, reevaluate and put on an extra 5 pounds to actual goal>

HOWEVER!!! You are getting some plain 'ol mean comments. In your position, I would just lay those aside and take a look at comments you might be getting from people who might be more objective and have no possible reason to feel threatened or affected by your amazing success.

I am really sorry you have to deal with that crap. If you look like the beautiful gal in your avatar, I'd say it's just a case of the green-eyed monster rearing its ugly head.



Pauline

ETA: Practicingmind: my mom used to make comments like that. A good dose of ignoring her comments, or embarrassing in front of that person when she made them has cured her ...

Now I would expect the doctor to know better than to tell a patient that she should gain weight especially when they are in the guidelines for their weight and height. I wish my doctor would tell me I needed to gain weight, once I reach goal weight or become skinnier I am going to stay that way!!! When I was obese the majority of my life the doctors' supported that and fortunately I am working on losing weight, being overweight is unhealthy but that is how doctors keep patients so I guess that is why some of them want the patients to stay overweight!!!

[Rachelocity]

Seriously, my aunt told me that I was too thin and needed to gain weight immediately. My mom informed me that I had no boobs left. WTH!!!????? My dad asked if I had cancer that I wasn't telling anyone about and when I said no asked if I was depressed.

That's the exact type of comment that my cardiologist told me I should hear when I asked him when I'd know I was at my goal weight! So, according to Dr. K., you're doing good!

My weirdest comment was from a former boss, who asked me if I was anorexic. Of course, she's a psychiatrist with an academic interest in eating disorders, so maybe she saw me as "fresh meat" for a yet-to-be-developed research study!

[mirchi]

I ignore negative comments, always have.

I am happy with my body. I find it attractive with it's flaws and all. Everybody has a different sense of beauty, and to each his own. I quite like small chested figures, and I like well endowed women....it is all in the package. When somebody makes a rude or uncouth comment, it reflects more on them than me. I do not give rude people the time of day. I am quite thrilled to be exactly who I am.

My parents always tell me I need to put on weight. But that's a cultural thing....since I moved out of th ehouse, they think I am uncared for and am perishing. When they say that I just say "why would I try to put on weight intentioanlly? I am healthy and fit, and will be the best looking 80yr old on the block."

[Minnas]

I tend to not put much stock in the comments of others. When someone says something inappropriate just know that it's about them and not you. When I hear anything like that my brain immediately goes to "wow, that is one messed up person" LOL! It's true. People who say or do inappropriate things are usually acting out there own stuff. Don't take it on as your own. Let it go and be thankful you don't have to live inside their little pea head.

[sfmama123]

Originally Posted by eriksgirl

My mom went out of her way to ask my sisters-in-law if they had noticed that I didn't have any boobs left. She did this right in front of me. I was mortified. Am I being too sensitive?? I guess I really don't have a whole lot left, but, common.

TaDa, you're a lot like me. I tend to get upset over people's comments, but then cool off and try to see the positive in what they said. Sometimes, it's hard. LOL

Your boobs are nobody's business but yours, lol!!! Seriously, whether we're overweight, or normal weight, or whatever, it's no one's place to make such brazen public comments. My family always felt free to comment on my size/weight, whether it was "you look great! you've lost so much weight!" or "Wow. You really need to do something..." Those in glass houses...kwim?

[Knittering]

I think you look fantastic and very healthy.

The only negative thing I've been told about my weight loss is that I've been losing "mostly water and muscle." Which someone could totally tell just by looking at my clothed body, right? The "mostly water" thing irks me to no end because I was *not* carrying almost eighty pounds of water!

[JustCallMeAmy]

ugh, that sucks eriksgirl!! i hear that a lot too lately and i am NO where near too thin for my height.

i think one of the meanest comments i've had about my physical appearance was from my mother...she said my body was getting too skinny for how big my head is and that i looked like a bobblehead

[TaDa!]

Originally Posted by eriksgirl

My mom went out of her way to ask my sisters-in-law if they had noticed that I didn't have any boobs left. She did this right in front of me. I was mortified. Am I being too sensitive?? I guess I really don't have a whole lot left, but, common ....

Not too sensitive!!!! that is so way out of line -- just very disrespectful. I think parents sometimes lose their sense of propriety with children and cross boundaries that are just not acceptable.

Originally Posted by lowcarbie

Now I would expect the doctor to know better than to tell a patient that she should gain weight especially when they are in the guidelines for their weight and height ....

oops -- I guess I was not clear ... that was before I had reached my goal (which originally was 135) and at the time I guess I was probably around 160 .. so a 75 pound weightloss or something... she was just trying to be nice I think!

Originally Posted by Violet Skye

..... My weirdest comment was from a former boss, who asked me if I was anorexic. Of course, she's a psychiatrist with an academic interest in eating disorders, so maybe she saw me as "fresh meat" for a yet-to-be-developed research study!

Ohmigosh, lol!!! I have a friend who is a psychiatrist too and I also have to sometimes control myself from bursting into laughter at some of her questions ... I swear she studies me a lot

Originally Posted by mirchi

...... When somebody makes a rude or uncouth comment, it reflects more on them than me .....

EXACTLY .. even when, especially when they are family members who are really out of line - and I have one of those myself!

[sugarless4life]

From an obese sisterinlaw:

'YOU ARE ANOREXIC!!!'

And you, honeychild, have lost sight of what normal weight people look like.

Betty

[KajunDC]

Weight loss can be a tricky thing. We are the worst judge of our own size, especially simply going by the scale. If the collar bones start becoming overly prominent or our ribs start becoming visible or our shoulder blades become pronounced or excess muscle is lost then we can actually look quite emaciated. I now feel I got there myself before I began to build muscle.

Also the clothes we wear can have a ton to do with it. If you get thin and are still wearing clothes that are for someone heavier than you presently are, that can definitely make you look sickly as opposed to healthy.

You also have to remember that the people you are talking about have had different life experiences than you. They may have had a friend or family member develop cancer and shrink up before they were aware of the problems or may have tried to hide the fact they were sick. That may have nothing to do with you, of course, but the emotions can come flooding back at the sight of a drastic weight change. I had a friend who saw me for the first time in over a year right at the end of my weight loss and his initial look was shock and fear... because he lost his father to cancer. His first questions was if I did it "on purpose." When I assured him I did, I could see the relief in his face. It was all simply care and concern and I was touched that I meant more to him than I even realized.

So I know it can be frustrating sometimes, and some people do simply say things to be mean, but most are well intentioned, even if tact is thrown out the window.

[kat819]

Eriksgirl, your mom was just incredibly and inexcusably rude. Way, way, way over the top rude. That would be an inexcusable comment from a stranger, from your own mother it's way beyond the pale.

I've never heard that because I haven't been thin in my adult life, but my mom was the person who told me, back when I weighed 175 that I "only needed to lose another 100 pounds." This from the woman who at 82 years old still has an eating disorder and starves herself for Weight Watchers by eating nothing but sugar (I mean "Slim Fast") until weigh-in day.

[AngieCakes]

Two people who have commented on my weightloss have said, almost whispering...

"Angie, you've lost so much weight... was it on purpose?"

I think they thought I had contracted some terminal disease. You should have seen the look of worry on their face when they asked me, and then the relief and congrats after I explained that it was indeed on purpose...

Weird.

[jezzie]

Originally Posted by eriksgirl

So, what the worst thing people have said about your weight loss??
I'm sure I'm not the only one to get comments.

Can't think of any negative comments about my weight loss in real life.

The negative ones online ... usually went in one ear and out the other.
.

[sarah134]

You know? thinking about this, it seems that you can get negative comments no matter what your weight or figure. I was a huge baby and a chunky kid. But I was relatively thin my whole young adult life and people can say things that are either just mean or back-handed compliments....(and as the saying goes, it's not what you say, it's HOW you say it)

I was always fairly vigilant about my weight because obesity runs in my family. So watching my intake when my clothes were getting snug and getting some exercise were things I did to watch my weight since my late teens. (mom's snide comment? "there she goes again to 'WORK OUT'!")

I put on the college Freshman 15+, very quickly in fact. I got the "amazon women" comment from my then boyfriend's friend. None of my clothes fit and I remember my whole second semester going to classes in my sweat pants (no money to buy a bigger size). I had had it and cut back and worked out till I got back in my size 8/10 wardrobe.

Junior year in college: "must be nice to have a Barbie-doll figure!"--said in a snide tone by a heavier roommate. (that's funny, I don't remember Barbie having a 32A chest and size 8/10 hips..... )

In my 20s I kept a close eye on my weight and heard over and over again (even to this day (I'm 42))--"you're so lucky to be so thin"....Um, LUCK has nothing to do with it, I wanted to yell; but I'm relatively shy and wouldn't want to sound rude....

After I had braces slapped on at ~28 yrs old, I lost ~10-12 pounds because I couldn't eat much of anything for 3-4 weeks (from wisdom teeth pulled, spacers put in, palate spacer put in--all that equals pain and not being able to chew)--I got "down to" 130 and a size 6 and my mom saw me and freaked. "look at her! she's anorexic! you're not doing drugs are you?!!!" WTH? My aunt looked at me and said, "leave her alone, she looks fine!"
I mean really? a size 6 / 130 pounds and I look anorexic?

Mid/Late 30s: I didn't go to lunch with a group of gals because I had some errands to run. The comment? "Well, that's how she stays so thin! What are you, a size 2?!" Again, WTH? I was 145 and a size 10!--my right leg might be a size 2!

Later 30s, put on ~25 pounds (into the 160s) from stress eating. Mom's comment? "Wow, you're getting a big ass!" (by the way, she's 80 pounds overweight); I said, look who's talking"---her response, "Well, I'm old--you're still a young lady"
Nice.

Since then, I've lost the weight and "maintained" within a 5-8 pound window with a few blips up here and there. It goes up, I cut back until I'm in the lower part of the "window". My most favorite weight being 136 so I'm still "working at it" (136 is more of a vanity weight--I have some great jeans in my closet that look wonderful at 134-136! , but I digress :blush

I guess, I'm commenting on this because just today a lab technician at my gyno appointment today said, "Oh, you're so little! You're so lucky to be so thin" This time I said, "luck has nothing to do with it. I put on weight just like everyone else. I work hard at maintaining my weight."

What was really weird was that this woman was a tiny little peanut!!
She agreed and said, "I know, I can't eat icecream like I used to either." And hers was the only "you're lucky to be so thin" comment that I've ever heard that had nothing mean behind it. It was more like a compliment I guess.:blush:

So what's the point here? Like I said at the top, it doesn't seem to matter what weight you are, you're going to get some rude comments. So best to just shrug it off (easier said than done) and just be happy at your new weight. The only person that has to be happy with you is YOU. And remember, opinions are like a$$holes, everybody has one!

By the way, congratulations, eriksgirl!!!! Your avatar looks great! Don't let anyone bring you down!

Sarah

[AngieCakes]

Originally Posted by KajunDC

You also have to remember that the people you are talking about have had different life experiences than you. They may have had a friend or family member develop cancer and shrink up before they were aware of the problems or may have tried to hide the fact they were sick. That may have nothing to do with you, of course, but the emotions can come flooding back at the sight of a drastic weight change.

That makes sense. The people who commented on whether or not the weight loss was "on purpose" have been around the office a lot longer than I have and I know for a fact there are a few cancer survivors in my building.

I guess I was just shocked at myself really. Of course I don't see the differences as a "drastic" change, however it's like most of the people in my office noticed it all at once and not a gradual decline as it had been for me.

[Beeb]

And the ? I always ask myself when someone says I'm too thin, too young looking, too etc. is:

Does it really matter WHAT they think? Not at all. They have their own reality and I have mine and MINE is ACTUALLY the only one that matters.

So, I just smile, say thanks for the concern and change the subject..............PERIOD!!

[Joy-FL]

Originally Posted by eriksgirl

My mom went out of her way to ask my sisters-in-law if they had noticed that I didn't have any boobs left. She did this right in front of me. I was mortified. Am I being too sensitive??

"What, you can't see them? You want a better look? I can prove I still have them... what? No?"

The only negative comments I've gotten were all about being too fat. Guess I have this to look forward to.

[daisyHair]

I didn't want to post in this thread at first because remembering these things always makes me upset then angry then sad.

The very first thing I ever remember anyone saying to me that was derogatory happened when I was only 10# overweight, in my late 20's. A friend of a boyfriend told me I would look so much better if I lost 15 or so pounds. I never forgot that comment, I think it lead to my years of ED, I vividly remember I decided that day to start "eating much more lite".

The most painful comment EVER was actually made to me at my highest weight by my granny. She said she thought I had crammed as much fat into my body as my "poor skin would hold".. I loved her dearly and I have always wondered why she would say such a hurtful thing.

One other time a group of kids drove past me while I was walking into a store from my car.. and told me to "keep on pulling".. because I was tugging at the front of my shirt.

Also at my heaviest my husband said something that to this day we still fight about when I am feeling like stiring up stuff.. he told me when I was meeting a good friend of his for the first time that this guy "hated fat and might not overlook my "fat" the way he does because he loves me so much" basically trying to warm me this guy might be put off by my body.. It was the most horrid thing he ever said to me and I have never let him forget it.

[sarah134]

Oh daisyhair! You reminded me of a incident in college (during my Freshman 15+ phase), a group of us girls were walking on campus one evening (we were all between 145-165lbs) and we got "MOOO-ed" at by a car full of guys!!!!
We all just brushed it off but I bet we all remember that 25 years later!!! You never get over being moo-ed at....

[MarcellaSF]

Originally Posted by daisyHair

The very first thing I ever remember anyone saying to me that was derogatory happened when I was only 10# overweight, in my late 20's. A friend of a boyfriend told me I would look so much better if I lost 15 or so pounds. I never forgot that comment, I think it lead to my years of ED, I vividly remember I decided that day to start "eating much more lite".

When I was in my early 20s I had a boyfriend who told me one day as we were swimming in his parents' pool "You could stand to lose some weight." I put my clothes on and left, and dumped him very shortly after (he wasn't really my type anyway--pretty but stupid). The funny thing is that I was actually very thin--I just ran across some photos from that summer. I was performing the lead in a musical, in fact. (Though of course I thought my thighs were too fat.) I was just so annoyed that he would say something like that.

The other funny thing is that I ran into him about 25 years later at a reunion and he rushed up to me to tell me that he wanted me to know he had really, really loved me. Maybe he remembered it too!

[BPM]

Originally Posted by eriksgirl

So, I went to see my family over the 4th. We had a family reunion on Saturday and all everyone wanted to talk about was how "skinny" I was and how I needed to gain weight.

Seriously, my aunt told me that I was too thin and needed to gain weight immediately. My mom informed me that I had no boobs left. WTH!!!????? My dad asked if I had cancer that I wasn't telling anyone about and when I said no asked if I was depressed.

Grrrrrrrr, if I weighed 5 pounds more, I think they would say I was "chunky". LOL There's no making people happy.

So, what the worst thing people have said about your weight loss?? I'm sure I'm not the only one to get comments.

Geez. that is harsh! I am sorry. Just remember you are doing this for you and family are going to be bold, blunt and rude.

I think the worst comment I recieved was from my best friend/roomies mom. She was here at the house and I came in and she asked if I was "sick". The look on her face was of disgust. I had went from 230 down to about 170 when she saw me.
Had to edit because I remembered she DID ask me if I was sick!

Some people just shouldn't be allowed to be rude unless they want a rude comment back.

[AngieCakes]

Oh man... I don't even want to go there about the mean and hurtful comments. But this one stung especially bad considering who it was coming from, and I haven't forgotten it although it has been years and i'm over it (no really I am, it just kinda pops up every now and then).

"You've let yourself go..."


Ugh..

[BPM]

Originally Posted by KajunDC

Weight loss can be a tricky thing. We are the worst judge of our own size, especially simply going by the scale. If the collar bones start becoming overly prominent or our ribs start becoming visible or our shoulder blades become pronounced or excess muscle is lost then we can actually look quite emaciated. I now feel I got there myself before I began to build muscle.

Also the clothes we wear can have a ton to do with it. If you get thin and are still wearing clothes that are for someone heavier than you presently are, that can definitely make you look sickly as opposed to healthy.

You also have to remember that the people you are talking about have had different life experiences than you. They may have had a friend or family member develop cancer and shrink up before they were aware of the problems or may have tried to hide the fact they were sick. That may have nothing to do with you, of course, but the emotions can come flooding back at the sight of a drastic weight change. I had a friend who saw me for the first time in over a year right at the end of my weight loss and his initial look was shock and fear... because he lost his father to cancer. His first questions was if I did it "on purpose." When I assured him I did, I could see the relief in his face. It was all simply care and concern and I was touched that I meant more to him than I even realized.

So I know it can be frustrating sometimes, and some people do simply say things to be mean, but most are well intentioned, even if tact is thrown out the window.

All of this is true, but there is no excuse for a grown adult to say rude things to someone else, especially in public.

Intentions do not matter at all in these type of situations, IMO.

[peachy]

When I was at my thinnest a few years back, everyone kept telling me I was too thin. I couldn't see it. Like TaDa, I think if I had put on five more pounds they would have been okay. My face was way too thin -- although my body rocked! After some health issues, I am back up again in weight and people have been very supportive in my quest to lose it again. I do get "don't get too thin again" by everyone though. I think it's all from a caring place, however, and I don't look too deeply into it.

[susique333]

Originally Posted by eriksgirl

My mom went out of her way to ask my sisters-in-law if they had noticed that I didn't have any boobs left. She did this right in front of me. I was mortified. Am I being too sensitive?? I guess I really don't have a whole lot left, but, common.

TaDa, you're a lot like me. I tend to get upset over people's comments, but then cool off and try to see the positive in what they said. Sometimes, it's hard. LOL

If my mom would have said that, I would have pointed to my husband and said "HE ate em off!" Im part Irish and part Cherokee and love snappy come backs!