What's the worst comment you've received?

[Speck333]

Most of these stories are so gawdawful painful. I'm so sorry any of you have been treated so inhumanely. I was a chubby child from the 4th-8th grades. Then overweight again in college. And the last 10 years have been ups and downs, but mostly ups. I can't think of being teased much when I was a kid, there were a few girls (and boys) more overweight than me and I think they took the brunt of the brutality, sadly. I'm sure I've been slighted many times by people, I just can't think of any right now... except one. There was something about this situation that just really rubbed me the wrong way. It was about 3 years ago, I broke my foot over the summer and it healed just in time for me to go back to work in the fall (I teach college). I hobbled into the first few class sessions. One day, a student and I were talking, and she was telling me how her mother had also recently broken her foot. That the doctor said a major contributor to this happening was because her mother was so overweight. And the way she looked at me was like an admonishment or even what to her seemed like should be just an out in the open common knowledge fact that I was "fat too". It really stuck in my craw. Especially since I'd met her mother, and the woman was not what I would consider especially overweight.

[Mimosa23]

Sending hugs to everyone here!

I find it amazing how people feel the need to comment on other people's weight, whether they are thin or fat, etc... Just sad!

I have had comments in the past too, from family, friends, strangers... I have stopped caring and I try not to do the same in return. These people are just as insecure as we all are, they just think that making unpleasant comments about others will make them feel better about themselves.
Just know, that if someone makes a rude comment, it says more about them and how they feel about themselves than it does about how they feel about you.

One instance I still remember as being just weird and funny: I was in a club with some friends, dancing, having a drink, just enjoying myself. I weighed at my highest at the time, but I felt good and quite happy. This guy was following me around all night, offering to buy me drinks, wanting to dance, even trying to kiss me. In the end, I told him that I was not interested, that I was only there to have a good time with my friends, so thanks but no thanks. His response: well, nevermind, you are fat anyway!

WTH???? I did laugh about it, but it hurt me that he had to comment on my physique just because he was the one who got rejected...

[anipomoni]

Oh I have a few....

When I was in kindergarten I brought cupcakes in for my birthday, you know, like every other kid on earth. Well, my mom did anyway...I was 4!! I had apparently forgotten my homework or something and the teacher says to me "oh but you didn't forget your CUPCAKES did you!?" I don't even remember this, but at the time it must have hurt enough for me to go home and tell my mom.

When I was 19 (and a size 14) I went to Greece with my grandparents, who have always had a home there. Their neighbor comes by and my grandmother introduces us and her first comment..."ohhhhh she's even heavier than her mother was." My poor grandmother "oh no...she's not..." change of subject...

Eating dinner a few years ago (at my highest) with my husband's senile old grandmother, inlaws, his brothers, and their 2 skinny wives. The old lady starts yelling...."you're too fat!!! You need to stop eating! Only bread and water!! You're very heavy!!" UGH that was sooooo mortifying!!! Everyone just totally ignored her, thankfully, with my mother in law trying to "ok now hush" every so often.

Last summer, again in Greece (I think Greek people are just big mouths or something). My uncle, who is a notoriously huge jerk, asks me how I am losing weight. Then goes on this rant about how I have ONLY lost water, that HE knows all about this stuff, has read about it, and that he KNOWS with 100% certaintly, that I will absolutely gain it all back eventually, AND MORE! This one didn't hurt bc he's just a jack ass that I can't wait to prove wrong.

And this one isn't even about me, but it burns me to no end for some reason. My mother had gastric bypass over a year ago. Has lost like 150 lbs or something. Do you know every day my father interrogates her about what she ate!?!?! And while she is eating will tell her that she shouldn't be eating this or that. Uhhhh....what's the point of surgery then if you have the food police living with you!!

[DC12]

I'm sure there are more but these are the most memorable...

I went to the beach with my mom three years ago. Wore an actual bathing suit (usually I would just go in shorts and a tank top). She said I should be careful out in the water as someone might mistake me for a whale. Of course my mom is 85 pounds overweight as well, like she has room to talk but she has been verbally abused about her weight all her life. You would think she would know better.

Went to Portugal to visit family and I decided to stay a little longer and had to find new flights. I told my uncle that I would need to take two airplanes (no non-stop available) to come back and he said "yeah, you *would* need two airplanes".

Same Portugal trip, I meet some people that were neighbors of my mom when she was growing up there and they say "she looks just like her mom, just fatter". Yeah, right in front of me! Yes, I do speak Portuguese morons, I know what you're saying!

And the worst one of all...that probably is what really set off my life long struggle with weight...I was only 12 yrs old, maybe 10 or 15 pounds overweight and a car full of teen guys (one of which I had a huge crush on) drove by and oinked at me. I remember sitting there on the front porch, holding my new kitten and crying as they sped off down the street.

[DC12]

Originally Posted by anipomoni

When I was 19 (and a size 14) I went to Greece with my grandparents, who have always had a home there. Their neighbor comes by and my grandmother introduces us and her first comment..."ohhhhh she's even heavier than her mother was." My poor grandmother "oh no...she's not..." change of subject...

I can relate, almost the same thing happened to me...see my post above...I had forgotten about it until I read your post.

[lisaerinqt04]

I remember being as young as 8 years old.

My Mother would always say, "You're ridiculously fat." and "Don't you do anything besides eat?"

I was NOT fat as a child. I was active and thin. If you hear that from the people closest to you regularly, it's almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy that you do get 'fat'. My grandmother used to fill my plate to the brim with southern style cooking, force me to eat (If I didn't it was breakfast the next day) and then would tell me,"I can't believe you ate all that! You're so big!" That kind of passive aggressive behavior wouldn't suit anyone well, let alone a 10 year old just starting to learn eating habits.

Ps. Grandma was NEVER a thin person either. Never did make sense on how critical she was of other people's weights when she was usually bigger than the one she was talking about.

[charlielou]

I stayed at 293 +/-2lbs for about 15 years. During that time my marriage broke up. It was during the very end days of the marriage that I went alone to a family wedding on the other side of the country and bought a new dress to wear to the wedding. I felt really good in it and everyone said it was 'slimmimg'. When I got home and tried it on for my now ex, he informed me that nothing could be 'slimming' on my body.

The other one was from a friend, "you're brilliant and have a pretty face, but you'll never get a job if you don't lose weight. This too was in the 293 lb years before I got sick and gained 40-50 lbs.

[camel?]

When I was at my skinniest: "Wow, your thighs look almost like a normal person's!"

[JustCallMeAmy]

Originally Posted by camel?

When I was at my skinniest: "Wow, your thighs look almost like a normal person's!"

i would die if someone said that to me!!!

[laranda]

I'm not sure how long it took me, but I read the whole thread. I wish we could toss these memories in a box and set it on fire or something. We hold onto the hurt and it sabotages our weight loss, our confidence, self-worth...etc

Reading some comments made me remember why I don't like to visit my dad's family. Every time we went, first thing out of their mouthes was something about my weight. I think I purposely forgot their exact comments but I remember every year since I was FIVE trying to lose weight before Christmas so that I could make a big reveal or something. It hasn't happened yet...

I could go on and on because I didn't have a positive relationship with my mother as a child. I remember we went to one of her friend's parties and their was one of those bouncy castle things. I was very young because I remember not being able to read (and I learned early) and I asked her what it said on the castle because I was about to go in there. She assumed the other kids would pick on me I guess because she taught me "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." I didn't understand until much later, but it did hurt.

I lost about 20 lbs on Atkins last year and I looked really good (even though I never reached goal). My dad would tell me I was being unhealthy (blah blah blah). I started gaining again when I started my current relationship (I guess I gain when I'm happy) and he told me "You know, your face looks really round, you're gaining weight". My sister came to my defense (she's really thin and she gets the opposite criticism) and he said "What? I just wanted to make sure she noticed." I freaking noticed alright...

As I said I could go on and on...I was always overweight. I think I've been told that I was an average sized infant but that's about it. About 90% of my family struggles with their weight, but most of them were thin when they were young "like me". It sickens me that they're so judgmental because I can already hear their criticism towards my niece...she's not even a year old yet.

My grandma gives me BS everyday about what I eat, but I don't take it personally because she gives everyone crap about SOMETHING. I've really learned to disregard their comments but looking back at them and remembering really brought the sting back.

BUT, I am doing well. I am losing and becoming healthy...I feel better than ever and actually feeling GOOD about how I look.

You're all doing a wonderful job, Keep it Up!


-elle

[Pork Chop]

Originally Posted by laranda

I lost about 20 lbs on Atkins last year and I looked really good (even though I never reached goal). My dad would tell me I was being unhealthy (blah blah blah).

A couple of months after I hit goal weight, I went out to dinner with my dad and stepmother. My stepmom was horrified at my refusal to eat bread, pasta, potatoes, desert, etc... I normally just let that stuff run right off me but when my dad started in, I just snapped. I said... 19 years ago, you had a Quadruple bypass. I'm eating like this so I don't have to take a shoebox full of prescriptions every day. I'm healthier than either of you were at my age so I'd appreciate it if you both spent more time worrying about what you eat and less about what I eat. Needless to say, I don't go out to eat with them anymore and the subject has never come up again.

[DC12]

Originally Posted by Pork Chop

19 years ago, you had a Quadruple bypass. I'm eating like this so I don't have to take a shoebox full of prescriptions every day. I'm healthier than either of you were at my age so I'd appreciate it if you both spent more time worrying about what you eat and less about what I eat.

Wow! Good for you!!!

[lizzybme]

Originally Posted by DC12

Wow! Good for you!!!

I just said the same thing right before I scrolled down!
I never seem to get to have those moments!
Oh well.

[timing is evrythng]

I get the "dude, you got cancer?" question every once and a while. I used to get mad but now i think its funny.

[susique333]

Originally Posted by timing is evrythng

I get the "dude, you got cancer?" question every once and a while. I used to get mad but now i think its funny.

OMG Im guilty of this one. My orthopedic surgeon who replaced my knee was quite heavy. I had an appointment about 6 months after a last one and didnt recognize him when I walked into his office! I kept my mouth shut until the verrrry end of the visit when I asked him was he ill? He laughed and said no "Atkins!" I was certain he had cancer, I had no clue a person would get that skinny in 6 months.

[DC12]

Originally Posted by timing is evrythng

I get the "dude, you got cancer?" question every once and a while. I used to get mad but now i think its funny.

With those guns, I don't see how anyone could think you are sick

[atcgirl42]

These stories are really sad. I'm very sorry for those who've been hurt by the rudeness of others.

[micheleredit]

Originally Posted by Pork Chop

A couple of months after I hit goal weight, I went out to dinner with my dad and stepmother. My stepmom was horrified at my refusal to eat bread, pasta, potatoes, desert, etc... I normally just let that stuff run right off me but when my dad started in, I just snapped. I said... 19 years ago, you had a Quadruple bypass. I'm eating like this so I don't have to take a shoebox full of prescriptions every day. I'm healthier than either of you were at my age so I'd appreciate it if you both spent more time worrying about what you eat and less about what I eat. Needless to say, I don't go out to eat with them anymore and the subject has never come up again.

Good job, one day I am going to be gutsy enough to say stuff like that too!!

[Hamish's Mum]

I was asked by a coworker if I was pregnant, when I so was not.

An older cousin I had not seen for years looked at me and said ' you're piling the beef on'

[CindyCRNA]

Originally Posted by timing is evrythng

I get the "dude, you got cancer?" question every once and a while. I used to get mad but now i think its funny.

Well, dude, if that is you in your Avi, you ain't got cancer!!

[Ikki]

DC12 :
"And the worst one of all...that probably is what really set off my life long struggle with weight...I was only 12 yrs old, maybe 10 or 15 pounds overweight and a car full of teen guys (one of which I had a huge crush on) drove by and oinked at me. I remember sitting there on the front porch, holding my new kitten and crying as they sped off down the street."

Me : *Hugs*

[DC12]

Originally Posted by Ikki

DC12 :
"And the worst one of all...that probably is what really set off my life long struggle with weight...I was only 12 yrs old, maybe 10 or 15 pounds overweight and a car full of teen guys (one of which I had a huge crush on) drove by and oinked at me. I remember sitting there on the front porch, holding my new kitten and crying as they sped off down the street."

Me : *Hugs*

Thanks Ikki

[Ikki]

Originally Posted by Mimosa23

Sending hugs to everyone here!

I find it amazing how people feel the need to comment on other people's weight, whether they are thin or fat, etc... Just sad!

I have had comments in the past too, from family, friends, strangers... I have stopped caring and I try not to do the same in return. These people are just as insecure as we all are, they just think that making unpleasant comments about others will make them feel better about themselves.
Just know, that if someone makes a rude comment, it says more about them and how they feel about themselves than it does about how they feel about you.

One instance I still remember as being just weird and funny: I was in a club with some friends, dancing, having a drink, just enjoying myself. I weighed at my highest at the time, but I felt good and quite happy. This guy was following me around all night, offering to buy me drinks, wanting to dance, even trying to kiss me. In the end, I told him that I was not interested, that I was only there to have a good time with my friends, so thanks but no thanks. His response: well, nevermind, you are fat anyway!

WTH???? I did laugh about it, but it hurt me that he had to comment on my physique just because he was the one who got rejected...

gawd i don't know what i would've done if i were in ur shoes... throw my drink on his face maybe ? ...... but good for you... i think you showed maturity...

[lizzybme]

Originally Posted by Ikki

DC12 :
"And the worst one of all...that probably is what really set off my life long struggle with weight...I was only 12 yrs old, maybe 10 or 15 pounds overweight and a car full of teen guys (one of which I had a huge crush on) drove by and oinked at me. I remember sitting there on the front porch, holding my new kitten and crying as they sped off down the street."

Me : *Hugs*

I think these guys visited my town too! they moo'ed here

[cleochatra]

Originally Posted by lizzybme

I think these guys visited my town too! they moo'ed here

That's when I say, "See? I told you some men were raised in barns!"

[ViolaVixen]

Originally Posted by anipomoni

(I think Greek people are just big mouths or something)

Ohhhhh yes, and the Italians aren't much better in that department either. I have both in my family

[Dreams]

During the weight loss process "Wow, you're starting to look like a real human being".

[unixfairy]

When I weighed 128 lbs after my divorce the ob/gyn told me not to put on any more pounds because I was "pushing it" - I am 5'5" and at 128 I am a real size 2 and wear size 26 jeans
I was like ummm wth? Did you even look at me -she said that 5 more lbs would put me at overweight - ummm ok?

When my Korean sister in law found out that I weighed 125 she said "Wow you do not look like you weigh that much - wow that is a big number"

When I got married I was the skinniest of my life at full growth and weighed 117 - my MIL thought I had cancer

but you know what hurts the most - is when people say "Well you still look pretty" about me since I have gained weight. It seems condescending.

When I am at my "me" weight (130) I not only feel fabulous I exude lots of confidence and men turn around. I am in a very happy relationship with a guy who could care less what I weigh as long as I am happy but it never hurts when men turn to stare lol - and he just eats it up lol lol lol

[Emily-D]

Originally Posted by MarcyDarcy

I just want to throw something out there... I've heard a few folks (not in this thread) make a comment that they don't realize could hurt... "I heard you've lost a TON of weight." Um, there might be a better way to state that.

I think if anyone ever said that to me I would reply, "No, it was less than a ton."

[Ramblinrose]

Originally Posted by JustCallMeAmy

ugh, that sucks eriksgirl!! i hear that a lot too lately and i am NO where near too thin for my height.

i think one of the meanest comments i've had about my physical appearance was from my mother...she said my body was getting too skinny for how big my head is and that i looked like a bobblehead

OMG Amy!!!! What a thing to say! Sounds like something my mother would come up with! LOL! I think you look fantastic and you are such an inspiration to me!!!
Lynn
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