Really discourage

BeThin · 07-03-2009, 06:28 AM

I have battled with my weight for several years and it is the same story with me.. I will get to around 175 and then GO back up. Stress, family life, funerals you name it... IT always seems to hit all at once and just destroys my plans and my exercise routines.

Presently I weigh in around 180, not far from my lowest 174 however I feel BIGGER this time than usually...

I get up every morning with the plan of starting over, Exercising every day and all I can say it that my MOTIVATION IS GONE!!!!!!

I have another funeral on SATURDAY this makes 5 since March, Family members or really close friends.

I really need help getting out of this rut.. I need some encouragement, support... Saying that I am going to exercise, finally make it through induction is just not working.

I said July was my month... I would exercise, I would stick to the plan, then my uncle passes away on the 1st. Funeral is on July 4th at 10:00. I am singing at the funeral.

How do you get yourself out of a rut... MY thoughts of "just do it" are not working for me. I need some encouraging words, something that will make me want to continue or advice that will pull me out of this RUT!!!!!

KellBell1234 · 07-03-2009, 06:33 AM

I am in the same rut! Gaining weight (not alot, but I don't like the pattern) I really need encouragement and a kick too!

My condolences on your Uncle!

OurLuvsFromAbove · 07-03-2009, 06:33 AM

I'm very sorry sweetie.. I can't imagine what you are going through right now, but I am trying to empathize the best I know how.. (HUGS)

Food doesn't make you feel better, it just doesnt if you are depressed and eating a cupcake, or a steak slatered with butter.

Have you thought about writing? I see that you sing. When I am depressed or upset I write my best. and usually feel better shortly after.

You're family and friends are watching you from heavin, and they wouldnt want you to self sabatoge over them.

I believe you can do this!

LustfortheMoment · 07-03-2009, 06:39 AM

I'm truly sorry for your losses. I know what it's like to lose family, friends, and others whom you care so much for. My life is surrounded by death.

Nevertheless, I try to view my WOE as autonomous of all that. I've had the privilege to be asked to give out medallions to friends on their AA anniversaries and have sat through many meetings. The thrust of the commentaries is that you can always find a reason to drink: bad life, bad job, deaths, financial setbacks, bad marriage, bad weather, sickeness, etc.

The task for all of us is to not let our addictions (carbs, etoh, drugs, smoking) to get in the way of our self-care. In other words, you have to focus on stopping the behavior REGARDLESS of the happenings in your life.

Good Luck, and PEACE be with you,

Teresa123 · 07-03-2009, 06:42 AM

I might not be understanding exactly what you're saying, but if I'm reading this right, it sounds like for you eating right and exercising is a package deal...? If so--that might be the place to start. If it's a package deal--then when one falls off the other is likely to follow, and if you're finding that you aren't staying up with both---maybe it's time to just focus on one thing for right now. For me I had to focus on eating right, and learning to do that no matter what the situation or circumstance. Once that was 2nd nature I could build on that by adding in other things, but again keeping them separate. I think the 'all or nothing' personality in me doesn't work very well with the 'package deal' concept. Don't know if that applies to you or not, just thought I'd throw that out there.

BeThin · 07-03-2009, 07:04 AM

I will eighter start off well with the diet and then STRESS is what starts the WRONG way of eating again.

The exercise is all about time for me. I get up think I will do it first thing and then the morning starts. IT seems to be all about others and never about ME...

I guess I need to make it more about me and stop worrying about everyone else.

Being a Homeschoooling mother of 2, 11th and 12th grade, I guess it has been for years about everyone else. It is hard to finally say it has to be about me.

I guess I just need to make it about me and focus on the diet first and then get the exercise going.

Remykins · 07-03-2009, 07:46 AM

You got it!

Leo41 · 07-03-2009, 08:05 AM

I agree with Teresa about not coupling diet and exercise, and the place to start is diet.

Recently, Dr. Eades of ProteinPower said on his blog that he and Gary Taubes agree that exercise does not promote weight loss BUT it is a result of weight loss. That is, after a significant loss, the body will push you to exercise as a natural process, and that's the time to get engaged an an exercise program or just in moving more.

I think people make a big mistake in trying for too big a change at once--e.g., induction and 6-days a week of working out--exhaust themselves and give up.

You don't even have to begin with formal induction. Just commit yourself each morning to making 'good choices' that day--and take it one day at a time. After a while, it will become habit, and then you can assess how you want to modify your woe.

You can do this!

ImFatNU · 07-03-2009, 08:27 AM

I know exactly where you're coming from. I, too am in a rut and I'm not quite sure how to get out. All I keep saying to myself is to not give up. Every time I've tried Atkins before, I gave up and I ended up gaining more and more weight. Now, I'm at 359 lbs and completely lost.

Just stick with it, because that's what I'm going to do. Nothing ever comes easy especially happiness. We have to work for it and if we want it bad enough, we will get it!

I'm very sorry to hear of all the deaths in your family. Stress does play a big part in weight gain. It did for me as well. But I don't know about you, but I'm running out of time and I'm determined to make it work this time around.

If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always here! Good luck and keep your chin up. You CAN do this!

iakaren · 07-03-2009, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeThin

I will eighter start off well with the diet and then STRESS is what starts the WRONG way of eating again.

The exercise is all about time for me. I get up think I will do it first thing and then the morning starts. IT seems to be all about others and never about ME...

I guess I need to make it more about me and stop worrying about everyone else.

Being a Homeschoooling mother of 2, 11th and 12th grade, I guess it has been for years about everyone else. It is hard to finally say it has to be about me.

I guess I just need to make it about me and focus on the diet first and then get the exercise going.

This sounds like you are writing about me!!!!

(only I am not homeschooling, but family and work at home, in many jobs.)

The weight is the same, the stress issues and the family/work before me syndrome. I can't give any advice, because I am right where you are. I am just above 180, when my low last winter was 172.5.............

but stress and lack of time/motivation to make excercise part of daily routine........ I have not found the solution yet, either.

But would love to hang around here to support/commiserate with you, and see if anyone else comes up with a solution.

iakaren · 07-03-2009, 10:10 AM

After reading all the posts, I think the "diet first" process may be a very good idea.

And let the activity level build on the side. Very good idea!!!!! Thanks, ladies.

GME · 07-03-2009, 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeThin

I will eighter start off well with the diet and then STRESS is what starts the WRONG way of eating again.

The exercise is all about time for me. I get up think I will do it first thing and then the morning starts. IT seems to be all about others and never about ME...

I guess I need to make it more about me and stop worrying about everyone else.

Being a Homeschoooling mother of 2, 11th and 12th grade, I guess it has been for years about everyone else. It is hard to finally say it has to be about me.

I guess I just need to make it about me and focus on the diet first and then get the exercise going.

If your kids are that old, make breakfast (for me breakfast is the easiet LC meal), get the kids started on whatever they need to do and make 9-10 your time (or any time that works for you). Get out of the house to do it. Join a gym, take up walking or running- outside. In 11th & 12th grade they should be able to work independantly. In a couple of years they could be away at college.

Once you make good choices at breakfast and put in the investment in yourself to exercise, the rest of the day will fall into place. And if it doesn't, you at least did something and you can try again tomorrow.

First thing in the morning doesn't work for me either. I am just not an early enough riser to get my workout in before everyone else wakes up.

And realize that all of this stuff will pass

BeThin · 07-04-2009, 10:41 AM

My kids do work on their own and they do cook breakfast, lunch or supper when I ask them to.. My daughter will graduate High school 3 years early, (Next year)... However, I still have to drive them to TEACH music lessons, play soccer, go to chruch activities, friends house and so forth. I think it will be really nice when daughter gets her drivers ID in October. (then again I might become stressed out over that)

The running just does not stop. I figured I would join the gym on the days the kids teach lessons, but SO far it has not worked out...

Husband only works the weekends, so It is hard to do what I want when HE has things that he needs help with or wants done. MY garden need help but it has been RAINNING so much that we have not gotten to it. The mud is so bad that you can not WALK in it at the present time.

This summer is almost gone and I feel like we have not done anything, we can't even go on the RAILS to TRAILS for fear of getting caught in a Thunderstorm.

Today I layed to rest my Uncle, just got back would really like to go to the lake and it looks like it could STORM any moment.

I think my WEATHER is making me depressed.... I think I will move to GEORGIA!!!! Flordia???? Some where there has to be SUN!!

Houston Heather · 07-04-2009, 10:52 AM

First, a hug.

Second, a tip. Take it from me, married to a very disabled man, some elderly family members, I've got my own disabilities.

When my life goes to hell, I MAINTAIN. I go up to a decent maintenance diet, eating sensibly, but not to lose. If I was dying for a "sweet" I ate a whole piece of fruit or a low carb bar.

It worked great when my husband became very ill and developed an additional disability, after the hurricane, Dad critical in ICU, and then my baby-cat died! All within less than a year, and now I'm down within 20 of goal.

Also, NEVER let yourself go hungry, always carry something legal that you can eat.

And hang in there!

JoSkids · 07-04-2009, 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeThin

My kids do work on their own and they do cook breakfast, lunch or supper when I ask them to.. My daughter will graduate High school 3 years early, (Next year)... However, I still have to drive them to TEACH music lessons, play soccer, go to chruch activities, friends house and so forth. I think it will be really nice when daughter gets her drivers ID in October. (then again I might become stressed out over that)

The running just does not stop. I figured I would join the gym on the days the kids teach lessons, but SO far it has not worked out...

Husband only works the weekends, so It is hard to do what I want when HE has things that he needs help with or wants done. MY garden need help but it has been RAINNING so much that we have not gotten to it. The mud is so bad that you can not WALK in it at the present time.

This summer is almost gone and I feel like we have not done anything, we can't even go on the RAILS to TRAILS for fear of getting caught in a Thunderstorm.

Today I layed to rest my Uncle, just got back would really like to go to the lake and it looks like it could STORM any moment.

I think my WEATHER is making me depressed.... I think I will move to GEORGIA!!!! Flordia???? Some where there has to be SUN!!

My sympathy's for the loss of your uncle.

If the weather is making you depressed (it would me as well - I gotta see sun at least once a day) I would suggest taking a vitamin d supplement. Your vitamin d level might be low - you could get it tested even.

goohsmom · 07-04-2009, 11:17 AM

You've gotten some very good advice here already, and I can tell from your posts that you are feeling very overwhelmed. Taking care of yourself hinges on making the time to take care of yourself, however you have to do it. For me, that means I have to get up early so I can workout at 5, otherwise I don't get all my morning chores done before I have to leave for work. For someone else, it might mean foregoing a tv show in the afternoon, or using a stepper or other equipment while watching tv in the evening.

I know it's hard to get your family to help when you want to change your routine, but that might be a good place to start. Sit down with everyone and tell them that you need their help carving out time for yourself every day, and let them start making suggestions. You might be amazed at how willing they are to take up some of your responsibilities, or that they really didn't realize how stressed you've been. Then, allow yourself to let go during that time each day and focus on yourself. Whether it be going for a walk, exercising, planning meals within your WOE, taking a bath, reading, whatever....make that your first habit you develop. I guarantee you'll start to feel better, and the rest will start to fall into place.

Pam

zizi · 07-05-2009, 05:34 AM

HUGS!!!!!!!!!

BeThin · 07-05-2009, 06:18 AM

Thanks everyone.... I am working on the diet first... It seems to be working, two days and no cheats... That is really good for me.

I will keep to the diet for a couple of weeks and then start on the exercise. I just want this to be a way of life not a diet or a thing I have to do...

Rain again today. I really do think I get depressed over this weather, I will try the Vit-D and see if it helps.

Thanks

07-03-2009, 06:28 AM	#1
BeThin MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: WV Posts: 1,820 Gallery: BeThin Stats: 190/178/140 WOE: Atkins Start Date: January 2008	Really discourage I have battled with my weight for several years and it is the same story with me.. I will get to around 175 and then GO back up. Stress, family life, funerals you name it... IT always seems to hit all at once and just destroys my plans and my exercise routines. Presently I weigh in around 180, not far from my lowest 174 however I feel BIGGER this time than usually... I get up every morning with the plan of starting over, Exercising every day and all I can say it that my MOTIVATION IS GONE!!!!!! I have another funeral on SATURDAY this makes 5 since March, Family members or really close friends. I really need help getting out of this rut.. I need some encouragement, support... Saying that I am going to exercise, finally make it through induction is just not working. I said July was my month... I would exercise, I would stick to the plan, then my uncle passes away on the 1st. Funeral is on July 4th at 10:00. I am singing at the funeral. How do you get yourself out of a rut... MY thoughts of "just do it" are not working for me. I need some encouraging words, something that will make me want to continue or advice that will pull me out of this RUT!!!!!

07-03-2009, 06:33 AM	#3
OurLuvsFromAbove Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Brooklyn Ny Posts: 4,564 Blog Entries: 4 Gallery: OurLuvsFromAbove Stats: 180/137.6/130 (orig 227) 5'8 WOE: Low Carb Start Date: Low carb living a few yrs now..	I'm very sorry sweetie.. I can't imagine what you are going through right now, but I am trying to empathize the best I know how.. (HUGS) Food doesn't make you feel better, it just doesnt if you are depressed and eating a cupcake, or a steak slatered with butter. Have you thought about writing? I see that you sing. When I am depressed or upset I write my best. and usually feel better shortly after. You're family and friends are watching you from heavin, and they wouldnt want you to self sabatoge over them. I believe you can do this! __________________ Low carb isnt just my life style, its my hobby Join Our Challenge to be the best we can be: http://www.lowcarbfriends.com/bbs/lo...ess-model.html

07-03-2009, 08:27 AM	#9
ImFatNU Junior LCF Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Maine Posts: 11 Gallery: ImFatNU Stats: 370/359/200 WOE: Atkins Start Date: June 2009	In the same boat I know exactly where you're coming from. I, too am in a rut and I'm not quite sure how to get out. All I keep saying to myself is to not give up. Every time I've tried Atkins before, I gave up and I ended up gaining more and more weight. Now, I'm at 359 lbs and completely lost. Just stick with it, because that's what I'm going to do. Nothing ever comes easy especially happiness. We have to work for it and if we want it bad enough, we will get it! I'm very sorry to hear of all the deaths in your family. Stress does play a big part in weight gain. It did for me as well. But I don't know about you, but I'm running out of time and I'm determined to make it work this time around. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always here! Good luck and keep your chin up. You CAN do this! __________________ Stephanie My weight loss blog http://born2write16.blogspot.com/ My horror movie blog http://born2write16-horrormovies.blogspot.com/

07-04-2009, 10:52 AM	#14
Houston Heather Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Houston Posts: 8,909 Gallery: Houston Heather Stats: 228/169/160 Waist: 42/31/31 WOE: Atkins 2002 Ongoing Weight Loss/pre maintenance Start Date: Feb 26, 2008 (second and last time)	First, a hug. Second, a tip. Take it from me, married to a very disabled man, some elderly family members, I've got my own disabilities. When my life goes to hell, I MAINTAIN. I go up to a decent maintenance diet, eating sensibly, but not to lose. If I was dying for a "sweet" I ate a whole piece of fruit or a low carb bar. It worked great when my husband became very ill and developed an additional disability, after the hurricane, Dad critical in ICU, and then my baby-cat died! All within less than a year, and now I'm down within 20 of goal. Also, NEVER let yourself go hungry, always carry something legal that you can eat. And hang in there! __________________ Don't just weigh, measure too! I'll be praying for you! (James 5:16) "From the beginning, you have made a refreshing jug of lemonade from all the lemons that life pitched your way."Zer "Look at you! You're a walking picnic!" - looking in my purse Learn about Bipolar Disorder Learn about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome I have tested thee in the furnace of affliction - Isaiah 48:10 Perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed 2 Cor. 4:9

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07-03-2009, 06:33 AM	#2
KellBell1234 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Minnesota Posts: 991 Gallery: KellBell1234	I am in the same rut! Gaining weight (not alot, but I don't like the pattern) I really need encouragement and a kick too! My condolences on your Uncle!

07-03-2009, 06:39 AM	#4
LustfortheMoment Senior LCF Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Boston Posts: 470 Gallery: LustfortheMoment Stats: 194/167/140..... 5'7" WOE: "Modified" Stillman Start Date: 4-17-09	I'm truly sorry for your losses. I know what it's like to lose family, friends, and others whom you care so much for. My life is surrounded by death. Nevertheless, I try to view my WOE as autonomous of all that. I've had the privilege to be asked to give out medallions to friends on their AA anniversaries and have sat through many meetings. The thrust of the commentaries is that you can always find a reason to drink: bad life, bad job, deaths, financial setbacks, bad marriage, bad weather, sickeness, etc. The task for all of us is to not let our addictions (carbs, etoh, drugs, smoking) to get in the way of our self-care. In other words, you have to focus on stopping the behavior REGARDLESS of the happenings in your life. Good Luck, and PEACE be with you,

07-03-2009, 06:42 AM	#5
Teresa123 Blabbermouth!!! Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 6,040 Blog Entries: 12 Gallery: Teresa123 Stats: 350+/155.5/145 WOE: Low Carb Start Date: Oct 2006	I might not be understanding exactly what you're saying, but if I'm reading this right, it sounds like for you eating right and exercising is a package deal...? If so--that might be the place to start. If it's a package deal--then when one falls off the other is likely to follow, and if you're finding that you aren't staying up with both---maybe it's time to just focus on one thing for right now. For me I had to focus on eating right, and learning to do that no matter what the situation or circumstance. Once that was 2nd nature I could build on that by adding in other things, but again keeping them separate. I think the 'all or nothing' personality in me doesn't work very well with the 'package deal' concept. Don't know if that applies to you or not, just thought I'd throw that out there.

07-03-2009, 07:04 AM	#6
BeThin MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: WV Posts: 1,820 Gallery: BeThin Stats: 190/178/140 WOE: Atkins Start Date: January 2008	I will eighter start off well with the diet and then STRESS is what starts the WRONG way of eating again. The exercise is all about time for me. I get up think I will do it first thing and then the morning starts. IT seems to be all about others and never about ME... I guess I need to make it more about me and stop worrying about everyone else. Being a Homeschoooling mother of 2, 11th and 12th grade, I guess it has been for years about everyone else. It is hard to finally say it has to be about me. I guess I just need to make it about me and focus on the diet first and then get the exercise going.

07-03-2009, 07:46 AM	#7
Remykins MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: May 2009 Location: Mpls, MN Posts: 1,033 Gallery: Remykins Stats: 125/120 WOE: Low carb, JUDDD Start Date: May 6th 2009	You got it!

07-03-2009, 08:05 AM	#8
Leo41 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 2,441 Gallery: Leo41	I agree with Teresa about not coupling diet and exercise, and the place to start is diet. Recently, Dr. Eades of ProteinPower said on his blog that he and Gary Taubes agree that exercise does not promote weight loss BUT it is a result of weight loss. That is, after a significant loss, the body will push you to exercise as a natural process, and that's the time to get engaged an an exercise program or just in moving more. I think people make a big mistake in trying for too big a change at once--e.g., induction and 6-days a week of working out--exhaust themselves and give up. You don't even have to begin with formal induction. Just commit yourself each morning to making 'good choices' that day--and take it one day at a time. After a while, it will become habit, and then you can assess how you want to modify your woe. You can do this!

07-03-2009, 10:10 AM	#11
iakaren MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Iowa Posts: 2,979 Gallery: iakaren Stats: 191/175.5/160 WOE: LC 11/06,CAD 7/08, IF 1/09 Start Date: October 28, 2006	After reading all the posts, I think the "diet first" process may be a very good idea. And let the activity level build on the side. Very good idea!!!!! Thanks, ladies.

07-04-2009, 10:41 AM	#13
BeThin MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: WV Posts: 1,820 Gallery: BeThin Stats: 190/178/140 WOE: Atkins Start Date: January 2008	My kids do work on their own and they do cook breakfast, lunch or supper when I ask them to.. My daughter will graduate High school 3 years early, (Next year)... However, I still have to drive them to TEACH music lessons, play soccer, go to chruch activities, friends house and so forth. I think it will be really nice when daughter gets her drivers ID in October. (then again I might become stressed out over that) The running just does not stop. I figured I would join the gym on the days the kids teach lessons, but SO far it has not worked out... Husband only works the weekends, so It is hard to do what I want when HE has things that he needs help with or wants done. MY garden need help but it has been RAINNING so much that we have not gotten to it. The mud is so bad that you can not WALK in it at the present time. This summer is almost gone and I feel like we have not done anything, we can't even go on the RAILS to TRAILS for fear of getting caught in a Thunderstorm. Today I layed to rest my Uncle, just got back would really like to go to the lake and it looks like it could STORM any moment. I think my WEATHER is making me depressed.... I think I will move to GEORGIA!!!! Flordia???? Some where there has to be SUN!!

07-04-2009, 11:17 AM	#16
goohsmom Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 395 Gallery: goohsmom Stats: restarting 10/08/09 at 185/174/152 WOE: Low Carb with running	You've gotten some very good advice here already, and I can tell from your posts that you are feeling very overwhelmed. Taking care of yourself hinges on making the time to take care of yourself, however you have to do it. For me, that means I have to get up early so I can workout at 5, otherwise I don't get all my morning chores done before I have to leave for work. For someone else, it might mean foregoing a tv show in the afternoon, or using a stepper or other equipment while watching tv in the evening. I know it's hard to get your family to help when you want to change your routine, but that might be a good place to start. Sit down with everyone and tell them that you need their help carving out time for yourself every day, and let them start making suggestions. You might be amazed at how willing they are to take up some of your responsibilities, or that they really didn't realize how stressed you've been. Then, allow yourself to let go during that time each day and focus on yourself. Whether it be going for a walk, exercising, planning meals within your WOE, taking a bath, reading, whatever....make that your first habit you develop. I guarantee you'll start to feel better, and the rest will start to fall into place. Pam

07-05-2009, 05:34 AM	#17
zizi MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Earth Posts: 2,458 Gallery: zizi WOE: Low Carb Eclectic Start Date: one day at a time...	HUGS!!!!!!!!!

07-05-2009, 06:18 AM	#18
BeThin MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: WV Posts: 1,820 Gallery: BeThin Stats: 190/178/140 WOE: Atkins Start Date: January 2008	Thanks everyone.... I am working on the diet first... It seems to be working, two days and no cheats... That is really good for me. I will keep to the diet for a couple of weeks and then start on the exercise. I just want this to be a way of life not a diet or a thing I have to do... Rain again today. I really do think I get depressed over this weather, I will try the Vit-D and see if it helps. Thanks