How do you "Away from Home" working moms do it ALL?

[Lil Donna]

I am really trying to get back to being healthy again but I just can't find the time. I went back to work in October and I can't find a balance.

How do you find time to prepare healthy meals? Exercise? Spend time with the kids at night and put them to sleep? and do all the other tedious chores?





(I am not bashing work at home moms or stay at home moms because I was both of those myself- but I can't find my footing being out of the house so much- hence, my question above.)

[Naz]

I am a single teacher, mom of 3, ages 10, 6 and 4. I think it is really, really hard to find a way to focus time on yourself- there is always SO much to do! Now that I am divorced, I do try to cook a little, clean a lot, and exercise on the days that my kids are at their dad's. When I was married, I couldn't "see" a way to balance everything.

Now I realize that was a horrible mistake (not my divorce, but the balancing part). I think that a lot of stuff have to be put on the back burner while I pay attention to myself. I learned that through a LOT of counseling.

My counselor told me "If your car was low on gas, you'd fill your tank and not even think about it, right? You have to do the same thing being a mother- take the time to fill your tank until it becomes something that you just do." She was so right, and I wished I had learned it LONG AGO.

FOR some simple tips on organizing and getting your life in order, go and check out the Flylady.net website- she's awesome. Many of the folks on here also posted a ton of crockpot meals and frugal meals.

We can do it! I'd love to hear from other moms out there- I am still working on perfecting my balance!

[Acutepenguin]

My theory is that on my deathbed, I don't think I'll be lamenting the fact that the toilets weren't always spotless, the dishes always washed immediately, the laundry folded neatly and put away, or my sock drawer was a mess. I would regret, though, not spending enough time with my family. So I don't sweat the small stuff and focus on what really matters. *just don't tell my MIL....

[Enza]

Hey Lil Donna,

It's not easy at all & will always be a struggle. Do you have a routine at all yet ? I try to cook & freeze on sunday. I also grill a couple of lbs of chicken keep it in the fridge to take to work or for a snack. When ordering out at work I always order chinese, steamed meat w/ veggies. Good luck & take it easy, you are doing an awesome job, it takes time to get back to routined or organized after you go back to work.

[Mommie22boys]

I'm a teacher (gotta love summer vaca) too, w/ 2 DS's (4 & 6) and a husband who works irregular hours. The boys are starting to get involved in sports and other activities and it is almost always me who takes them from place to place. I also have a home-based business (think: kitchen tools and home parties) which may take me out of the house a few nights each month. It gets crazy, I hear you!

During the school year I find it really pays to make a game plan on the weekend for the week. I try my best to plan dinners ahead, and try to use my crockpot 1-2 times each week. Make up a bunch of things on Sunday that you can use to fill in or take for lunches for the week : HB eggs, a bowl of tuna salad, toss a bunch of cheap chicken parts on the grill or in the rotisserie, make a LindaSue casserole, bake a pan of heroin chicken wings, brown a big batch of ground beef and divvy it up into baggies and pop into the freezer so you have it for a quick meal (taco salads, fried cabbage and beef, burger quiche, even meat sauce for the family), make a pot of soup, a batch of oopsies, a pan of quiche, wash some romaine for salads and wraps, precut some veggies, make some spinach dip. . .etc, etc. . .

Now, use what you've made on the weekend for a) quick meals on the fly after work and b) easy to throw-together lunches that fit your LC plan.

Exercise, honestly, is something I'm working on fitting in. I do belong to my local YMCA, which has a child watch program, where I can go workout and the kids are supervised and play. Nice! Sometimes, I'll just go for a walk when DH gets home from work (he's supportive of any workout time I ask for, in general).

Housework. Yuck. I'll admit, that I mostly just put out the fires on weekdays. This is especially true in April and May, as these 2 months are extremely busy for me with school. I clean only as much as absolutely necessary. Usually I run my dishwasher on the weekend and unload it on Sunday. . .throughout the week I load it as I go, but I always end up with dishes sitting in my sink for a couple of days. Any dishes I want to wash (like my pots and pans that don't go into the dishwasher), will sit out on the stove until after I've read the boys their stories and they're asleep (I've even been known to stash them in the oven until I can get to washing them .) Bathrooms get a lick and a promise (like, I wipe out the toothpaste from the sink) and my poor vaccuum can't wait for the weekend when it gets to do something. I try to get in a few loads of laundry each week. . .the best time for me is to put in a load before bed and move it to the dryer in the morning. It may sit in the dryer for a couple of days after that, but at least it's clean. Otherwise I try to catch up on the weekend. Thankfully, DH does his own laundry. . .so that's less for me. I'd also recommend the Flylady website, as has already been suggested. Good stuff there.

I also try to get the kids more involved as they are getting older. They each have a morning and nighttime "to-do" list in a page protector taped to their closet door. Each boy has a few things to do that will help me out (feed the dog, pack your backpack, tell mom what you want in your lunch tomorrow, etc. . .) and they learn some responsibility too, an added bonus!

That's all I've got. Just remember the old saying, which, unfortunately, is all too true:

"A man works from sun to sun, but a woman's work is never done."

[Enza]

Get your husband to help out more with stuff too

[LWwillLOSE]

As was already mentioned... Flylady and the crock pot

Greatest things since sliced bread. Baby steps is all it takes to get you started, the rest will come in time. Don't get overwhelmed by it all, just keep reading little bits from her site, and start making small changes here and there.

Definately include your children in the process... they'll think it's fun (if they're young enough) and not necessarily realize they are "working".

Don't sweat the small stuff, life is too short.

Take care

[GGWilson]

Originally Posted by Lil Donna

How do you find time to prepare healthy meals? Exercise? Spend time with the kids at night and put them to sleep? and do all the other tedious chores?

For me, I just make the time. Preparation is definitely the key to help balance out hectic mornings and allow me extra time for exercise.

Weekends, menus and detailed shopping lists make life much easier. Get everything you need for the week based on a menu and prepare anything you can ahead of time. At night have everything you need to walk out the door all ready to go. Get up 30 minutes earlier to squeeze in your exercise. Make your family help out as much as possible. Cleaning...well, I have a rule at my house - if I find it on the floor you must not need it and it will go in the trash. It really helps to keep things tidy. Real cleaning, like with soaps and brushes, happens on a weekend morning when I can squeeze a good hour in. The only thing I keep clean daily is my kitchen, I cannot stand walking into a dirty, cluttered kitchen so that gets cleaned up as I'm making dinner.

A big key for us is that the tv is rarely on and I've learned to delegate. Its definitely not easy and I don't know how old your children are but when you sit down and really think it through you should be able to come up with ways to work things out. You just really have to want to find time for yourself, its so worth it!

[DorianH]

Prepare! Sunday morning is my morning to clean out the fridge and pantry, go grocery shopping, cook and prep for the week. I'm usually done by about 2pm. Then, I really don't have to worry about food prep, kids' lunches, or cooking the rest of the week.

It's pretty crazy but I have a rhythm down now and it works for me- for now.

[cathlaur]

I have always worked and always find I have time to do everything I want. But I have wonderful work hours 7 am to 3:30 so I am home early.

My girls are older now so they have to help out. Hubby does the grocery shopping ( he likes to cook thank goodness) and the laundry and other things around the house. It seems to work. Some days are busier than others as my oldest plays rep/travel soccer and we are often driving 2 hours after work for a league game. I really think that procrastination is a problem for people. We just get what has to be done right away and then enjoy. Sometimes the house is not 100% but that is okay. I walk at lunch at work and we do have a weight room at work so I will use it.

It is all priorities and schedules. You remember the old saying if you have something that needs to be done give it to the busy person. That is so true.

The biggest thing is not to stress too much. It is not a competition with your friends family or neighbors, do what you have to , to make your life liveable and your own. It can work really.

Cheers

Katie

[SmileySue]

Yep - I agree with everything that's been mentioned. I grocery shop on the weekends and prepare things for the week. I think it's imperative to meal plan and make lists. That's probably what's helped me out the most.

It will get easier - you'll figure out what works for you, so be patient with yourself. Also, keep reading here at LCF. I can't tell you how much you'll learn and how many "tips and tricks" you read about.

[LouieLouie2007]

Originally Posted by Lil Donna

I am really trying to get back to being healthy again but I just can't find the time. I went back to work in October and I can't find a balance.

How do you find time to prepare healthy meals? Exercise? Spend time with the kids at night and put them to sleep? and do all the other tedious chores?





(I am not bashing work at home moms or stay at home moms because I was both of those myself- but I can't find my footing being out of the house so much- hence, my question above.)

I am full time married working mom. Here is what I do. Obviously no situation is the same, but it works for me. :

I get up at 5:00 AM, get in the shower, make coffee and play on the cumputer until about 5:40, then I go and put the coffee in the cups for me and hubby while he is taking a shower and I go put on my make-up.

At 6:10 I go make breakfast for him and the kids. We eat at about 6:30. Hubby leaves at 6:45 and I get the kids and me ready (the 8 year old gets herself ready)

We leave the house at 7:20. I drop the 8 year old off at Boys and Girls Club, the little one at Daycare. I am at work by 8:00 or so.

I get an hour for lunch so I hit the gym for a quick 30 minutes.

I get off work at 5:00, go get the kids and am home by about 6:00. Hubby gets off work at 3, so he starts dinner, I finish it off anf we eat about 6:30. If its gonna be a particularly busy day, dinner goes into the crockpot in the AM. After dinner, I will go to the Gym at around 8:00 PM if it is Monday or Thursday, go biking and groceryshopping or dates with hubby if it's Tuesday (mom has the kids), go outside and play with the kids on Wednesday (family night) and then kick back or go have fun with the friends on Fridays. Saturday morning I go to the gym for Bootcamp. They also have one on Sunday If I am feeling up to it or miss Saturday. In between that time, I bake bread and make tortillas for the family, clean house and do whatever else that comes to mind. Hubby takes of the house through the week and does the yard work on the weekends, but really for the most part, if the house gets cleanes, it gets cleaned, if it doesn't oh well. So long as as clothes and dishes get done, I am a happy lady.

I almost NEVER watch television. Too much of a time killer. What little bit I actually do watch is limited to the news when I am putting on my makeup or watching So You Think you can Dance at night before I crash (recorded so I can skip the commercials and judges stupid commentary).
I usually am in bed by about 10:00 or so.

[cjack1]

I put myself first most of the time, without guilt and without neglecting my children's primary needs of shelter, food, water, appropriate supervision and affection. My experience as being a child once, and raising children of my own, is that it's really good for them to do without everything they want (including 100% of my time as their servant) so they learn better coping skills, improvisation, negotiation, determination and the self confidence that comes from figuring out things for themselves.

I have two children who are 13 and 16 and, at a certain point, mom inevitibaly becomes a driver and a teller machine in their lives, no matter how much of yourself you invested in them. I love my kids more than anything, but good or bad, I could never allow myself to get lost in them at the expense of losing my own presence in my own mind. My kids make good grades, are very articulate, socially well developed, very loving and they know I will walk through fire for them when the chips are down (the chips are rarely ever really down), but I don't put my own life on hold to cater to their every whim.

I have always worked out early mornings before they woke up and prepared the same food for them that my husband and I ate. I've never forced my kids to eat anything, but I don't jump through hoops to make sure they like everything on the table. I have never viewed it as my exclusive responsibility to make sure everyone in my home is completely comfortable and satisfied. I am a full member of the family with needs and wants just like the rest of them and that works just fine for us. Sometimes, I think women don't give themselves permission to want or need anything until everyone else is perfectly happy (which rarely happens.)

[LouieLouie2007]

Originally Posted by cjack1

I put myself first most of the time, without guilt and without neglecting my children's primary needs of shelter, food, water, appropriate supervision and affection. My experience as being a child once, and raising children of my own, is that it's really good for them to do without everything they want (including 100% of my time as their servant) so they learn better coping skills, improvisation, negotiation, determination and the self confidence that comes from figuring out things for themselves.

I have two children who are 13 and 16 and, at a certain point, mom inevitibaly becomes a driver and a teller machine in their lives, no matter how much of yourself you invested in them. I love my kids more than anything, but good or bad, I could never allow myself to get lost in them at the expense of losing my own presence in my own mind. My kids make good grades, are very articulate, socially well developed, very loving and they know I will walk through fire for them when the chips are down (the chips are rarely ever really down), but I don't put my own life on hold to cater to their every whim.

I have always worked out early mornings before they woke up and prepared the same food for them that my husband and I ate. I've never forced my kids to eat anything, but I don't jump through hoops to make sure they like everything on the table. I have never viewed it as my exclusive responsibility to make sure everyone in my home is completely comfortable and satisfied. I am a full member of the family with needs and wants just like the rest of them and that works just fine for us. Sometimes, I think women don't give themselves permission to want or need anything until everyone else is perfectly happy (which rarely happens.)

You sound very much like me.

[hummingbird11]

I SALUTE all of you working moms! I too, often wonder how in the world you do it ALL? I don't even have any kids and I have trouble fitting it ALL in!

(well I do have 5 furry babies that keep me & hubby pretty busy )

I am in awe of ALL that working moms do to look after their families health and welfare as well as their own. I hope you all take one spa week each year to SLEEP

[AllieCat0817]

Donna I agree that all of it is TEDIOUS. You said it well. Sometimes I get aggrivated. But you CANNNNNN do it.

Simply put....as Ileen (Inatic) says 'ya gotta wanna'...

[Diana]

I don't know how to answer it other then You HAVE to do it.
Make the time... not excuses

Dh sometimes helps... DD who constantly needs help! I am up at 5:15AM every morning, I play on the PC for about an hour then I go at it... Back in bed by 11PM