Something I feel I must say..........

niciK · 07-09-2008, 11:17 AM

I see all of these threads on LCF where someone posts about other people and how heavy they are and making wrong food choices... ect. Being in a supermarket and seeing a heavy person buying cookies . The comments are really mean and cruel sometimes. Havent most of us been the heavy person with the junk in the cart? If not would most of us not be here? I used to be super skinny, not the case now. I got myself this way and I am working my way out. I think sometimes I see a " Holier than thou" mentality on this forum.

It hurts, last week I was the over weight woman in the super market buying frozed pizza. Today I am the hopefull woman making better dietary choices. I hope to never go back, it happened to me before. I also hope to never be snarky about my weightoss as it is hard as he**. ok my Rant is over. Thanks

somethingblue2u · 07-09-2008, 11:20 AM

Maybe when we write stuff about the lady with all the junk food in the cart we are really talking about how we used to be. When someone says "I can't believe all the crap in her grocery cart" it really means "I can't believe I used to buy and eat all that junk". I am guilty of thinking that but its really a reflection on myself, not so much the other person.

afuentes · 07-09-2008, 11:23 AM

Really, I am sorry you feel this way. To be honest, I haven't noticed this kind of talk on the boards. But, regardless, stay motivated and ignore anything that is negative or that might go in a negative direction. We are here to motivate and if you keep posting, you'll see that this site can be inspirational.

Susie Q · 07-09-2008, 11:26 AM

What a good observation! We definately need to remain sensitive to people's feelings. I really believe that most people on the board are fine unstandin' world citizens and would never mean to offend. I for sure remember the difference between how i was treated in person when heavy and now when not. People think you're not as smart,sharp etc...I tell my step son i hope he never gets heavy, cause at the beach he makes fun of the whales heaven help him. He better be glad he's not mine. Im proud of your loss and determination.

cj1 · 07-09-2008, 11:32 AM

I agree completely. We do talk like that on here and it's not right. I'm sure we are the ones that were being talked about prior to finding this woe and we would have been crushed had we known that's what people were saying.

Meg056 · 07-09-2008, 11:34 AM

I think one thing we need to do is not to worry about what other people think of us. I as a fat person would never knowingly hurt the feelings of another fat person...but there will always be people who have a hair in an uncomfortable spot who will use you or me or someone else as an object on which to seek revenge or vent. People walk the world with all sorts of problems and some will inflict their problems on others. Just since you have a heightened sensibility quotient be the kind and caring person and ya know, not everyone will be changed by your attitude but there will be some. Also in reference to some of what is said here...probably people are just looking back to their own days of buying all that carby crappola and wanting to cry out to people to give them help which would certainly be unwelcome. We who see the light always want to turn it on for others and that is not always so well received. Bless you dear.

JerseyGirl1969 · 07-09-2008, 11:36 AM

I think one can be oversensitive about this. Maybe it's said as an observation? "I can't believe all the crap in her cart" rather than a judgment.

luv_bug · 07-09-2008, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by niciK

I see all of these threads on LCF where someone posts about other people and how heavy they are and making wrong food choices... ect. Being in a supermarket and seeing a heavy person buying cookies . The comments are really mean and cruel sometimes. Havent most of us been the heavy person with the junk in the cart? If not would most of us not be here? I used to be super skinny, not the case now. I got myself this way and I am working my way out. I think sometimes I see a " Holier than thou" mentality on this forum.

It hurts, last week I was the over weight woman in the super market buying frozed pizza. Today I am the hopefull woman making better dietary choices. I hope to never go back, it happened to me before. I also hope to never be snarky about my weightoss as it is hard as he**. ok my Rant is over. Thanks

Thank you for having the courage to post this. I think that we all need a reminder from time to time about the way we talk on the forum ... I hear you loud and clear on BEING the person with the shopping cart ...

Personally, when I go to the grocery store, I don't really notice what other people are buying (overweight or not...) because I'm so busy gawking at all of the foods on the shelves that I can't have on this WOE

I think that we should consider how we chat in the forums -- imagine someone coming into the forum for the first time and reading these threads... I agree -- non-judgemental towards others is the way to go (now -- as for judging ourselves -- that's another story...)

CrzyCatLady · 07-09-2008, 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by somethingblue2u

Maybe when we write stuff about the lady with all the junk food in the cart we are really talking about how we used to be. When someone says "I can't believe all the crap in her grocery cart" it really means "I can't believe I used to buy and eat all that junk". I am guilty of thinking that but its really a reflection on myself, not so much the other person.

Ditto! I was the fat girl with all the junk in the cart. I used to live on frozen pizzas and chips. I used to look around and wonder how those thin people could be buying some of the same crap I am and be thin. I was always jealous of those people. I hope I never come off as holier than thou, for that is never my intention.

By the way I am still the chubby girl in the fast food drive thru. But I won't be eating the bun or fries!

Charski · 07-09-2008, 11:43 AM

I think, too, it's all relative - can you imagine what people must think when they look in OUR carts - especially if we're not yet at goal? Sour cream, butter, bacon, cream - LOL!

But I agree with you in principle. I think most of it is well-intentioned though - I know *I* am guilty of doing exactly that and wishing I could approach that person and say, "Hey, what if I could show you how to eat really great stuff and lose weight?"

Meg056 · 07-09-2008, 11:48 AM

I learned a long time ago not to worry about what others thought of my grocery purchases. Once many years ago I loaded up on contraceptive sponges before they pulled them and made the bag boy blush. LOL Then there were the times when soda was on big sale and I got 20 or more 2 liter bottles. These days I load up on reduced meats at a local grocery and keep my freezer stocked. I get ground round and even extra lean ground beef at about $1.75 a pound this way. I've always stocked up on specials and it really saves money over the long term. Who cares what people think?

Sandi76 · 07-09-2008, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charski

I think, too, it's all relative - can you imagine what people must think when they look in OUR carts - especially if we're not yet at goal? Sour cream, butter, bacon, cream - LOL!

I think that every single time I go to the store! What people must think of my butter, heavy cream, bacon and fatty hamburger.

We're all guilty of it, and you know what? So is everyone else in the world.

pooticus · 07-09-2008, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by afuentes

Really, I am sorry you feel this way. To be honest, I haven't noticed this kind of talk on the boards. But, regardless, stay motivated and ignore anything that is negative or that might go in a negative direction. We are here to motivate and if you keep posting, you'll see that this site can be inspirational.

Wow, really?

Seriously.

I want the kind of glasses you are wearing. Cuz it sure does create selective vision!

To the OP, thanks for posting this. I totally and whole heartedly agree with you and it really gets my goat! Hang in there and congrats on making the right choices today!!!

rhlong · 07-09-2008, 12:00 PM

I agree completely. I've been overweight my entire life. I know there will always be people who are looking and criticizing in their head no matter my food choice. If I choose to eat a cupcake, its "She's fat because she eats cupcakes", If I choose to eat a salad people are thinking "Poor thing, she's fat and on a diet". You can't win.

GME · 07-09-2008, 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meg056

I learned a long time ago not to worry about what others thought of my grocery purchases. Once many years ago I loaded up on contraceptive sponges before they pulled them and made the bag boy blush.

You've seen the "sponge-worthy" episode of Seinfeld haven't you?

"You are going to do something about those sideburns?"

I don't pay much attention to what people have in their carts, except when its full of junky kid stuff and they have a chubby little toddler in the cart eating chips or cookies before they even get out of the store. That's just sad. Adults can do what they want to themselves, but they should feed their children better.

I guess I'm being one of those judgemental people now. I'm sure others would disagree with some of my parenting choices too.

Meg056 · 07-09-2008, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GME

You've seen the "sponge-worthy" episode of Seinfeld haven't you?

"You are going to do something about those sideburns?"

I don't pay much attention to what people have in their carts, except when its full of junky kid stuff and they have a chubby little toddler in the cart eating chips or cookies before they even get out of the store. That's just sad. Adults can do what they want to themselves, but they should feed their children better.

I guess I'm being one of those judgemental people now. I'm sure others would disagree with some of my parenting choices too.

Yep I did see it many times. I must say I was a happily married lady buying those sponges and still am after 35 years. Never did use them all up before they passed expiration date though.

24Fan · 07-09-2008, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by afuentes

Really, I am sorry you feel this way. To be honest, I haven't noticed this kind of talk on the boards. But, regardless, stay motivated and ignore anything that is negative or that might go in a negative direction. We are here to motivate and if you keep posting, you'll see that this site can be inspirational.

i'm with you, Afuentes. I've never noticed that sort of talk, not in the lobby anyway.

But Nic, you're right, we've almost ALL been that person buying wrong foods.

LOL Char, I know. I've gotten some of those looks at the checkout counter. Hmm mac nuts, sour cream butter pork rinds eggs.

niciK · 07-09-2008, 12:07 PM

Thanks for the replies everyone. I feel that I need to be reminded that any time I could gain weight . I am not talking just about the super market. I see a lot of posts about someone being heavier and feeling better about themselves. Beaches, supermarkets, water parks, gyms. I remember one and a half years ago I was very thin and befriended someone who despised fat people. She would make very rude comments all the time. I told her I had at once weighed 100 pounds more than I did at that time. She didnt belive it, no one ever did. I am avery sensitive person, it is my nature.I dont think this is only a sensitive issue, its just speeks of elistism at ones weight loss. I just feel that this is a support forum for weight loss and sometimes its good to remember where we came from. I also have a passion for Atkins and LC, but not everyone feels the way we do. Who knows whats going on with someones life , we should not be the first to judge, but hey that is me .

LS_Oregon · 07-09-2008, 12:19 PM

I love the sponge story. I just had to say, that I use to travel to Toronto every month on business. Well, one of the girls in the office heard that Prepartion H could tighten up wrinkles, but you had to get it in Canada, the US didn't have the same ingredients. So, she asked me to pick her up a tube, then another person came by, etc. So, I am up in Toronto in Walmart with 10 large tubes of Preparation H, when behind me comes some young teen girls. The giggling started and they couldn't stop. It was so funny, then the clerk gave me this look like wow, you really have a problem. By then I am beginning to get embarrassed, but oh well. Then it hit, oh, I hope customs doesn't stop me... luckily they did not.

As far as the grocery cart thing---it made me wonder what people think of me, I am still overweight some people probably go--- look at what she is eating-- all that butter, sour cream, cream cheese, hamburger with all that fat.... I think I will alway feel fat, no matter what my weight and maybe that will be okay. I will always be sensitive to others who have a weight problem.

Meg056 · 07-09-2008, 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LS_Oregon

I love the sponge story. I just had to say, that I use to travel to Toronto every month on business. Well, one of the girls in the office heard that Prepartion H could tighten up wrinkles, but you had to get it in Canada, the US didn't have the same ingredients. So, she asked me to pick her up a tube, then another person came by, etc. So, I am up in Toronto in Walmart with 10 large tubes of Preparation H, when behind me comes some young teen girls. The giggling started and they couldn't stop. It was so funny, then the clerk gave me this look like wow, you really have a problem. By then I am beginning to get embarrassed, but oh well. Then it hit, oh, I hope customs doesn't stop me... luckily they did not.

As far as the grocery cart thing---it made me wonder what people think of me, I am still overweight some people probably go--- look at what she is eating-- all that butter, sour cream, cream cheese, hamburger with all that fat.... I think I will alway feel fat, no matter what my weight and maybe that will be okay. I will always be sensitive to others who have a weight problem.

Wow it's a toss up as to whether the sponge story or the Preparation H story is the funniest. Ah if we can buy loads of that stuff we can buy anything without embarrassment. Perhaps we should be personal shoppers for people's personal needs at a decent wage. (I never act on any of my money making schemes so this one is open to those who dare)

thealything · 07-09-2008, 12:41 PM

when I'm looking in others' carts I'm DEFINITELY thinking "that used to be me!"

CherryCola · 07-09-2008, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LS_Oregon

The giggling started and they couldn't stop. It was so funny, then the clerk gave me this look like wow, you really have a problem.

...which reminds me of what I like to call the "Monistat Incident of 2008." I've never needed that stuff before...but I got this weird rash on my lower leg that the doctor thought was fungal - possibly from the nasty gym showers (before you say eewwww...it wasn't all gross and oozing, just kind of red and a little flaky...I initially thought psoriasis) and he told me he could prescribe a cream that with my copay would be around $20 or I could just get anything with Miconazole nitrate in a concentration of over 4%. And who new that all Monistat is not created equal!

The one I got was only 2%...so I had to return this one and with a huge line behind me, the cashier asked me casually why I was returning it, "Apparently I need something stronger!"

I have since PERMANENTLY switched WalMarts.

fawn · 07-09-2008, 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandi76

I think that every single time I go to the store! What people must think of my butter, heavy cream, bacon and fatty hamburger.

We're all guilty of it, and you know what? So is everyone else in the world.

This is funny......
I used to sneak the pork rinds into the back of my cart before I hit goal. Thinking "what will they think of the fat girl buying pork rinds"

Great post though Nici......

" PRIOR TO LOW CARB, THERE GO I"

thealything · 07-09-2008, 12:51 PM

I don't think people mean to be mean here.

I do think many of us have spent so long dealing with other people criticizing our WOE while failing at low fat, low cal, or whatever that it's easy to get cynical. the rest of the world can be very self-righteous when it comes to food... it's almost a religion. it's hard not to have that attitude (my way is the right way) when it really IS the only right way for most people here, and it's being attacked by so many on the outside.

but mainly I think most people here have good hearts and really do want to help. we all get a little self-righteous sometimes. I personally have to hold myself back from lambasting my live-in bf for buying breaded chicken, frozen pizzas, and loaf after loaf of white bread. but it's because I see that it's aging him, causing him to gain weight and sapping his energy... and it makes me sad. I love him and want him to be well. he is 15 years older and I really want him to live as long as possible so we can have more of a future together. and I really believe LC is the best way to do it. but if someone doesn't want to hear that then there's no outlet for me to express my frustration over the matter... except here on the boards!

Snowangel81598 · 07-09-2008, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by niciK

I see all of these threads on LCF where someone posts about other people and how heavy they are and making wrong food choices... ect. Being in a supermarket and seeing a heavy person buying cookies . The comments are really mean and cruel sometimes. Havent most of us been the heavy person with the junk in the cart? If not would most of us not be here? I used to be super skinny, not the case now. I got myself this way and I am working my way out. I think sometimes I see a " Holier than thou" m

07-09-2008, 11:17 AM	#1
niciK Senior LCF Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 232 Gallery: niciK	Something I feel I must say.......... I see all of these threads on LCF where someone posts about other people and how heavy they are and making wrong food choices... ect. Being in a supermarket and seeing a heavy person buying cookies . The comments are really mean and cruel sometimes. Havent most of us been the heavy person with the junk in the cart? If not would most of us not be here? I used to be super skinny, not the case now. I got myself this way and I am working my way out. I think sometimes I see a " Holier than thou" mentality on this forum. It hurts, last week I was the over weight woman in the super market buying frozed pizza. Today I am the hopefull woman making better dietary choices. I hope to never go back, it happened to me before. I also hope to never be snarky about my weightoss as it is hard as he**. ok my Rant is over. Thanks

07-09-2008, 11:34 AM	#6
Meg056 Senior LCF Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Tx Posts: 402 Blog Entries: 3 Gallery: Meg056 Stats: 315/212/145..100+ pounds lost! WOE: low carb/lower fat/calorie controlled Start Date: January 2007	I think one thing we need to do is not to worry about what other people think of us. I as a fat person would never knowingly hurt the feelings of another fat person...but there will always be people who have a hair in an uncomfortable spot who will use you or me or someone else as an object on which to seek revenge or vent. People walk the world with all sorts of problems and some will inflict their problems on others. Just since you have a heightened sensibility quotient be the kind and caring person and ya know, not everyone will be changed by your attitude but there will be some. Also in reference to some of what is said here...probably people are just looking back to their own days of buying all that carby crappola and wanting to cry out to people to give them help which would certainly be unwelcome. We who see the light always want to turn it on for others and that is not always so well received. Bless you dear. __________________ Meg -------------- 230 229 228 227 226 225 224 223 222 221 220 219 218 217 216 215 214 213 212 211 210 209 208 207 206 205 204 203 202 201 200 -------------- Countdown to Onederland 7/30 217, 8/6 214 1/2, 8/13 215, 8/20 213, 8/27 213

07-09-2008, 11:20 AM	#2
somethingblue2u MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Indiana Posts: 1,325 Gallery: somethingblue2u Stats: 190/175/150 WOE: Atkins for Life Start Date: 2nd time October 2007	Maybe when we write stuff about the lady with all the junk food in the cart we are really talking about how we used to be. When someone says "I can't believe all the crap in her grocery cart" it really means "I can't believe I used to buy and eat all that junk". I am guilty of thinking that but its really a reflection on myself, not so much the other person.

07-09-2008, 11:23 AM	#3
afuentes MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: May 2007 Location: Sparkling Desert Posts: 1,833 Gallery: afuentes Stats: 190/175/? - I will get there! :) WOE: low carb Start Date: 2007	Really, I am sorry you feel this way. To be honest, I haven't noticed this kind of talk on the boards. But, regardless, stay motivated and ignore anything that is negative or that might go in a negative direction. We are here to motivate and if you keep posting, you'll see that this site can be inspirational.

07-09-2008, 11:26 AM	#4
Susie Q Senior LCF Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 789 Gallery: Susie Q Stats: 165/140/135 WOE: Atkins by the Book	What a good observation! We definately need to remain sensitive to people's feelings. I really believe that most people on the board are fine unstandin' world citizens and would never mean to offend. I for sure remember the difference between how i was treated in person when heavy and now when not. People think you're not as smart,sharp etc...I tell my step son i hope he never gets heavy, cause at the beach he makes fun of the whales heaven help him. He better be glad he's not mine. Im proud of your loss and determination.

07-09-2008, 11:32 AM	#5
cj1 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 1,475 Gallery: cj1	I agree completely. We do talk like that on here and it's not right. I'm sure we are the ones that were being talked about prior to finding this woe and we would have been crushed had we known that's what people were saying.

07-09-2008, 11:36 AM	#7
JerseyGirl1969 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 1,258 Gallery: JerseyGirl1969	I think one can be oversensitive about this. Maybe it's said as an observation? "I can't believe all the crap in her cart" rather than a judgment.

07-09-2008, 11:43 AM	#10
Charski Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Central Coastal CA Posts: 9,090 Gallery: Charski Stats: 174 (WW)/130/150 goal 5'5" 54 years young WOE: ATKINS! now and always.... Start Date: 5/03	I think, too, it's all relative - can you imagine what people must think when they look in OUR carts - especially if we're not yet at goal? Sour cream, butter, bacon, cream - LOL! But I agree with you in principle. I think most of it is well-intentioned though - I know I am guilty of doing exactly that and wishing I could approach that person and say, "Hey, what if I could show you how to eat really great stuff and lose weight?"

07-09-2008, 11:48 AM	#11
Meg056 Senior LCF Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Tx Posts: 402 Blog Entries: 3 Gallery: Meg056 Stats: 315/212/145..100+ pounds lost! WOE: low carb/lower fat/calorie controlled Start Date: January 2007	I learned a long time ago not to worry about what others thought of my grocery purchases. Once many years ago I loaded up on contraceptive sponges before they pulled them and made the bag boy blush. LOL Then there were the times when soda was on big sale and I got 20 or more 2 liter bottles. These days I load up on reduced meats at a local grocery and keep my freezer stocked. I get ground round and even extra lean ground beef at about $1.75 a pound this way. I've always stocked up on specials and it really saves money over the long term. Who cares what people think?

07-09-2008, 12:00 PM	#14
rhlong MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 1,270 Gallery: rhlong Stats: 320/256.4/165 WOE: low carb my way Start Date: June 2007	I agree completely. I've been overweight my entire life. I know there will always be people who are looking and criticizing in their head no matter my food choice. If I choose to eat a cupcake, its "She's fat because she eats cupcakes", If I choose to eat a salad people are thinking "Poor thing, she's fat and on a diet". You can't win.

07-09-2008, 12:07 PM	#18
niciK Senior LCF Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 232 Gallery: niciK	Thanks for the replies everyone. I feel that I need to be reminded that any time I could gain weight . I am not talking just about the super market. I see a lot of posts about someone being heavier and feeling better about themselves. Beaches, supermarkets, water parks, gyms. I remember one and a half years ago I was very thin and befriended someone who despised fat people. She would make very rude comments all the time. I told her I had at once weighed 100 pounds more than I did at that time. She didnt belive it, no one ever did. I am avery sensitive person, it is my nature.I dont think this is only a sensitive issue, its just speeks of elistism at ones weight loss. I just feel that this is a support forum for weight loss and sometimes its good to remember where we came from. I also have a passion for Atkins and LC, but not everyone feels the way we do. Who knows whats going on with someones life , we should not be the first to judge, but hey that is me .

07-09-2008, 12:19 PM	#19
LS_Oregon Junior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Oregon Posts: 59 Gallery: LS_Oregon Stats: (240 high) 208/155/140 WOE: Low Carb My Way Start Date: 01/09/2008	I love the sponge story. I just had to say, that I use to travel to Toronto every month on business. Well, one of the girls in the office heard that Prepartion H could tighten up wrinkles, but you had to get it in Canada, the US didn't have the same ingredients. So, she asked me to pick her up a tube, then another person came by, etc. So, I am up in Toronto in Walmart with 10 large tubes of Preparation H, when behind me comes some young teen girls. The giggling started and they couldn't stop. It was so funny, then the clerk gave me this look like wow, you really have a problem. By then I am beginning to get embarrassed, but oh well. Then it hit, oh, I hope customs doesn't stop me... luckily they did not. As far as the grocery cart thing---it made me wonder what people think of me, I am still overweight some people probably go--- look at what she is eating-- all that butter, sour cream, cream cheese, hamburger with all that fat.... I think I will alway feel fat, no matter what my weight and maybe that will be okay. I will always be sensitive to others who have a weight problem.

07-09-2008, 12:41 PM	#21
thealything Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Niagara Falls Posts: 120 Gallery: thealything Stats: highest:205 / current:180.5 / STG:170 / LTG:130 WOE: Atkins Induction Start Date: May 1, 2008	when I'm looking in others' carts I'm DEFINITELY thinking "that used to be me!"

07-09-2008, 12:51 PM	#24
thealything Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Niagara Falls Posts: 120 Gallery: thealything Stats: highest:205 / current:180.5 / STG:170 / LTG:130 WOE: Atkins Induction Start Date: May 1, 2008	I don't think people mean to be mean here. I do think many of us have spent so long dealing with other people criticizing our WOE while failing at low fat, low cal, or whatever that it's easy to get cynical. the rest of the world can be very self-righteous when it comes to food... it's almost a religion. it's hard not to have that attitude (my way is the right way) when it really IS the only right way for most people here, and it's being attacked by so many on the outside. but mainly I think most people here have good hearts and really do want to help. we all get a little self-righteous sometimes. I personally have to hold myself back from lambasting my live-in bf for buying breaded chicken, frozen pizzas, and loaf after loaf of white bread. but it's because I see that it's aging him, causing him to gain weight and sapping his energy... and it makes me sad. I love him and want him to be well. he is 15 years older and I really want him to live as long as possible so we can have more of a future together. and I really believe LC is the best way to do it. but if someone doesn't want to hear that then there's no outlet for me to express my frustration over the matter... except here on the boards!