Something I feel I must say..........

[pooticus]

Originally Posted by sugarless4life

EXACTLY! I load my cart with butter, cream cheese, eggs, heavy cream and I am sure people think "Oh yeah, she's skinny, she can eat *that*...!" Same thoughts they must think when they see me out running boo-koo miles a week ... "why would *she* need to run, skinny as *she* is".... They don't know that this skinny girl now used to be overweight and its the running and eating those fatty foods that have helped make her thin ... the truth is ...

WE NEVER KNOW THE TRUTH BEHIND WHAT OTHER FOLK ARE DOING .. so let's not judge them .. rather, be an example !!! Offer help to those who ask, and if they don't ask, then don't offer help !

"Lord, grant that I may never criticize my brother until I have walked a mile in his moccasins..." that's an old Indian prayer and its *still* true...

Peace!

Betty

Be careful Betty, you're gonna be snatched by the short hairs soon. It's "illegal" to use the word "Indian" these days, much less, "American Indian". I'm informed that the PC term is now Native North American! :-/ although my dh and friends who are also part American Indian thought I'd gone loco when I told them about this. Seems they said..."Well hell, it's what we are..." but hey different strokes!

Just sayin'...it's sure not for me to judge. (and btw, I grew up being taught to function according to that quote and it's one I love.)

[sugarless4life]

Originally Posted by pooticus

Be careful Betty, you're gonna be snatched by the short hairs soon. It's "illegal" to use the word "Indian" these days, much less, "American Indian". I'm informed that the PC term is now Native North American! :-/ although my dh and friends who are also part American Indian thought I'd gone loco when I told them about this. Seems they said..."Well hell, it's what we are..." but hey different strokes!

Just sayin'...it's sure not for me to judge. (and btw, I grew up being taught to function according to that quote and it's one I love.)

No offense to anyone ! HONEST!

Betty

[fawn]

Originally Posted by sugarless4life

No offense to anyone ! HONEST!

Betty

I am cherokee....no offense taken pale face

[waddleon]

Everyone was new at one time, should'nt be a need to grab ur big girl panties. How many different atkins books are there??? So when a "newbie" ask a questions "did u read the book??" doesnt always help. Some people (like myself) feel stalled after 2weeks only losing 3lbs, when u have some posters losing 15-20 in that same time frame. We're only human.

[oobladee]

I too see to many judgmental remarks, My Way or The Highway kind of thing.

What is funny to me, while I too know of benefits of low carb, it is not exactly a panacea. It has been around for a long time, and has not exactly turned the Earth around.

Many diets, food plans, woe, choose your game pieces here work when you work them. When you don't work it, well, we all know the rest.

I would also like to see more guidance, not pooh-poohs on every gram of carb a person eats. Geesh.

[MarblesLongGone]

Originally Posted by waddleon

Everyone was new at one time, should'nt be a need to grab ur big girl panties. How many different atkins books are there??? So when a "newbie" ask a questions "did u read the book??" doesnt always help. Some people (like myself) feel stalled after 2weeks only losing 3lbs, when u have some posters losing 15-20 in that same time frame. We're only human.

Some of how much you lose the 1st week has to do with how much water you are retaining. Often, the bigger people can retain more. As I'm on a diuretic already, water weight is not so much my issue.

It does frustrate me when there ARE lists of common stall foods, and they effect people closer to goal more than the effect people pretty far out. Two women with frames built to carry 150 pounds, if one is 350 saying that she can lose eating a pound of cream cheese a day, this very well may not work for her twin who is only carrying 175 aiming for 150. 175 -> 150 is more of a tweak, more of a finesse thing. And it is rougher than the 350 -> 300 segment of the loss. The body resists letting go of that last few a bit more. And any of the women with thyroid or PCOS issues who REALLY have to play it clean, telling them that Frankenfoods are okay is a severe disservice.

[MarblesLongGone]

Originally Posted by fawn

I am cherokee....no offense taken pale face

Callin' people pale face? Good thing I didn't use my Pillsbury Doughboy avatar here! 'course, I did use white eggs...

If I let the rosecea go long enough, I won't be pale face anymore!

[AllieCat0817]

Fawn how cool you are Cherokee! I also have Cherokee ancestry from the NC SC border near TN. We had our fam vacation in Cherokee NC this year and it was amazing. We spent a day in the Qualla Boundary at the village and museum. A lovely beautiful people. My son is fascinated with both Civil War and slavery issues and Native People. We have Native American ancestry from several tribes. Fascinating.

[Rory8343]

I've just about stopped posting advice on the Main board because I feel no one wants to hear it. Not in a "have a pity party for Rory" kind of way but in a "Meh why bother" way.
Also, if people won't read the excellent FAQ and Cheri's Newbie hints or use their google search button to learn the basics I'm not sure they are committed and I just don't have the time to spoon feed them the information. If I ask 'what plan are you on?' to see if I can even give them any help half the time you don't get an answer or the answer is "I'm making it up as I go along" Cool, except then my Atkins advice isn't going to help. So I bow out.
It is especially frustrating to try and help someone if they are going to get upset. If I tell them that after losing the same 100 pound three times and having four kids and being 40 years old, their breasts and tummy aren't going to snap back to their former glory (Unless you are going for a "rocks in a tube sock" look.) I am being mean and negative.
Finally we fat girls have spent a lot of time and energy and calories and carbs protecting ourselves form negative attention, emotions and situations. (That's why most of us overeat, not because it tastes good. We're looking for the rush.) Getting an honest opinion that might be uncomfortable might be the most helpful thing that happens to us all day.
Not trying to insult or flame anyone just telling you how I feel on this end.

[lisabinil]

Originally Posted by Rory8343

I've just about stopped posting advice on the Main board because I feel no one wants to hear it. Not in a "have a pity party for Rory" kind of way but in a "Meh why bother" way.
Also, if people won't read the excellent FAQ and Cheri's Newbie hints or use their google search button to learn the basics I'm not sure they are committed and I just don't have the time to spoon feed them the information. If I ask 'what plan are you on?' to see if I can even give them any help half the time you don't get an answer or the answer is "I'm making it up as I go along" Cool, except then my Atkins advice isn't going to help. So I bow out.
It is especially frustrating to try and help someone if they are going to get upset. If I tell them that after losing the same 100 pound three times and having four kids and being 40 years old, their breasts and tummy aren't going to snap back to their former glory (Unless you are going for a "rocks in a tube sock" look.) I am being mean and negative.
Finally we fat girls have spent a lot of time and energy and calories and carbs protecting ourselves form negative attention, emotions and situations. (That's why most of us overeat, not because it tastes good. We're looking for the rush.) Getting an honest opinion that might be uncomfortable might be the most helpful thing that happens to us all day.
Not trying to insult or flame anyone just telling you how I feel on this end.

[Zer]

I too am skipping posting a reply to a lot of posts by people who do not read up on a LC plan and who want a quick fix for losing all their weight in a week or so of half-fast LC'ing according to their notion of what LC'ing is. What's the use? If I feel snappish, I'll ask "What book are you reading?" and move on.

Originally Posted by Rory8343

I've just about stopped posting advice on the Main board because I feel no one wants to hear it.... if people won't read the excellent FAQ and Cheri's Newbie hints or use their google search button to learn the basics I'm not sure they are committed and I just don't have the time to spoon feed them the information. If I ask 'what plan are you on?' to see if I can even give them any help half the time you don't get an answer or the answer is "I'm making it up as I go along"

Cool, except then my Atkins advice isn't going to help. So I bow out....

Not trying to insult or flame anyone just telling you how I feel on this end.

Well, I love your posts and that wicked pic in hot pink pants too!

[lisabinil]

Originally Posted by waddleon

Everyone was new at one time, should'nt be a need to grab ur big girl panties. How many different atkins books are there??? So when a "newbie" ask a questions "did u read the book??" doesnt always help. Some people (like myself) feel stalled after 2weeks only losing 3lbs, when u have some posters losing 15-20 in that same time frame. We're only human.

It was a joke to lighten things up.

[Loner]

Originally Posted by JerseyGirl1969

I think one can be oversensitive about this. Maybe it's said as an observation? "I can't believe all the crap in her cart" rather than a judgment.

Yes I would hope that would be the case..., you cant always truly tell someones tone when it is in typing.

Originally Posted by Sandi76

I think that every single time I go to the store! What people must think of my butter, heavy cream, bacon and fatty hamburger.

OMGosh, i feel the same way everytime I go to the store! If they only knew !

[Zer]

Am I the only one reading this thread who came to my senses pushing a cart piled high with a night's worth of drug-of-my-choice carbs - and walked out of the store, leaving the cart behind me? I did that more than once, at midnight, in a 24hr grocery store, after getting off work and not wanting to go home to an empty house alone. So I'd shop, pick up carbs, pile high enough food (my drug of choice at that time) and schlep home bags and bags of carby stuff to drown my aching loneliness. So, if I see a cart piled high and pushed by a stranger, I feel the ache - and I 'know' that stranger in a way that makes me feel compassion for someone caught in a carby hell. Am I the only one here?

[pooticus]

Originally Posted by fawn

I am cherokee....no offense taken pale face

Fawn, Denny's grandmother on his dad's side was Cherokee too!

[MarblesLongGone]

Originally Posted by Rory8343

I've just about stopped posting advice on the Main board because I feel no one wants to hear it. Not in a "have a pity party for Rory" kind of way but in a "Meh why bother" way.
Also, if people won't read the excellent FAQ and Cheri's Newbie hints or use their google search button to learn the basics I'm not sure they are committed and I just don't have the time to spoon feed them the information. If I ask 'what plan are you on?' to see if I can even give them any help half the time you don't get an answer or the answer is "I'm making it up as I go along" Cool, except then my Atkins advice isn't going to help. So I bow out.
It is especially frustrating to try and help someone if they are going to get upset. If I tell them that after losing the same 100 pound three times and having four kids and being 40 years old, their breasts and tummy aren't going to snap back to their former glory (Unless you are going for a "rocks in a tube sock" look.) I am being mean and negative.
Finally we fat girls have spent a lot of time and energy and calories and carbs protecting ourselves form negative attention, emotions and situations. (That's why most of us overeat, not because it tastes good. We're looking for the rush.) Getting an honest opinion that might be uncomfortable might be the most helpful thing that happens to us all day.
Not trying to insult or flame anyone just telling you how I feel on this end.

If I dare to say don't eat cr@p while dieting, that is not tough-love, that is a lack of understanding of their life they can't really give up eating cr@p...

Rory, if I ever say anything about my own eating that is dietary stupidity, PLEASE give it to me with both barrels! I prefer straight talk (whoda' thunk?) to coddling, enabling cr@p! And the "I'm not following a plan, from a NEWBIE, is an issue. With time and experience, you may discover one element of protein power that really agrees with your body, and an element of CA that works, and you may be able to pick and choose some tidbits, but from my SUCCESSFUL tidbit picking from multiple diets in the past, what worked for me was to choose the most strict from both, and work from there! An example? I had stared years ago with CA, and side stepped into Atkins. CA FORBIDS artificial sweeteners. When I walked into Atkins the first time, I carried my no sweeteners rule with me, and lost faster and easier than when I allow some Splenda.

[Kris T.]

I think sometimes I see a " Holier than thou" mentality on this forum.

I do see how you could think that way, and I hope I never come off like that to anyone. If I do, I apolgize. I think sometimes what I think is a common-sense reply comes across as talking down. It's hard to read emotions here, so try not to let it get to you, ok? If you stick around, keep the info you want and don't bother reading the posts you don't care about you'll feel better.

Kris

[Magicsmom]

Originally Posted by angel247

Honestly I could care less what is in whoever's carts....I have to much going on in MY life to worry about why a person wants to eat a frozen pizza when they are overweight... This might sound rude but if you worry about what is in a strangers shopping cart, you really need to get a life...whether its a judgement or an observation. No one is perfect.

Originally Posted by sbaquera78

I think I must be on a mission at the grocery store. Like a horse with blinders, I don't really pay attention to what others have in their cart.
I also think we should all be kind to others, but not so we have to tip toe around everything. I think we live in a way too PC world.

ITA!!! I don't even look at other peoples' carts, let alone give a rip what's in them. And it's important to remember that a majority of those you see in the store are buying for a household. In other words, just because it's in their cart, don't assume it's for them to eat.

But to the OP, I remember a story posted here on the ML several years ago about a woman who saw a morbidly obese woman with her young obese daughter in a mall. If you are to believe the story, the poster followed them all through the mall, observing the difficulty with which they walked, the frequent breaks they took on the benches, and the ice cream they ate. Then she followed them into a store, into the dressing rooms, where [supposedly] the young girl burst into tears because they couldn't find anything to fit her properly. It was one of those "oh how my heart bleeds for them" posts, and it was, frankly, sickening. It and other stories like it drove me off the ML for years. I see not much has changed.

[FloridaShell]

We all have different personalities and take things that are being said differently. I for one don't take too much in life seriously. If I ask for advice on this board, then I need to be able to have broad shoulders and take the advice given without having hurt feelings. kwim?

[a_thinner_rach]

For me, food is so tied in to emotions and sense of self worth. Certain comments may trigger a reaction from me. Looking back, I may logically know that the person didn't mean anything by them, they just touched a very sensitive issue for me so all logic and intellectual thought has gone out the window. I just react. I'm thinking of my grandparents particularly for this, but some of my in laws will say things that get my hackles up. I know I did that once here too, and I know it wasn't the person's fault. It was just a very sensitive issue for me.

I think that we should understand that everyone has gone down a different path in life, and that not everyone is in the same place. Remember that the way you say something is just as important as what you say. (I know that the person could be spouting the wisdom of Confucius, but if they say it in a harsh/criticizing way, I will shut down.) Like everyone has said, you can't tell emotions from posts or see body language, etc. Try to phrase it in as gentle way as possible.

It's definitely hard when lots of different people get together. People like me need to realize that not everything people say are negative in meaning. Try to give people the benefit of the doubt before being offended. (I should have practiced this a few times!)

[Zer]

Hmmm...I probably need to preface my remarks with a disclaimer, as I too am often faced with someone who feels I am talking down - and FAT to boot! - as I share my experience. Not all of my experience works. I'm learning about LC in the same silly I learn anything - by trial and error. I've cut out a lot of stuff that was a daily part of my LC life, and I am tempted to share that with folks who indicate they are using a lot of alternative sweeteners and quite a bit of cheese daily. But... some of us (me included) learn by our own mistakes better than we learn by listening.

Originally Posted by Kris T.

I hope I never come off like that [holier than thou] to anyone. If I do, I apologize. I think sometimes what I think is a common-sense reply comes across as talking down. It's hard to read emotions here, so try not to let it get to you, ok? If you stick around, keep the info you want and don't bother reading the posts you don't care about you'll feel better.

Good advice. Take what you need and leave the rest. Works for ME! I've seen real growth in me, largely on account of what I read at LCFriends, so I am sticking around. I want to get rid of these pounds I've been carrying for almost 35yrs now. My joints cannot handle the load. Bye-bye, blubber!

[cleochatra]

Mostly, I come across as Doughier than Thou.