Need a motivating buddy to lose 50 pounds with by April 2007

[carbjunkie]

Morning A & J

Where are ya Mrs. C?

Jina smart of you to cool it down..you just don't need any new drama right now. I'm glad you are feeling better..nice busy day you had yesterday..good! Totally off beat here but I was listening to Sarah Mc's song "world on fire"..what a great song huh?

I've been dealing with pool guys and bids for my backyard..the highest bid is $38,000 so I don't know if I wanna spend that right now so maybe I will just replaster n put in new equip instead of doing the entire thing. I didn't tell you the day before I left to NY my pool filter busted (it's 3 yrs old ) and it sucked about a foot of water out of the pool and flooded the side yard. So..I decided I'd redo the entire thing..I dunno we'll see but that's what I've been doing.

Ok I'll come back to peek in.

T.

[Stelakate]

Euu...that sucks. That is very expensive (the re-do).
Day is barely creeping by, thoughts clogging my head.

How are you doing w/ the J thing, T?
Ash, where are you?

[cardenas5usa]

Good morning girls! Sorry that I didn't come in yesterday, we went dancing Sunday night and didn't get home until 4 am, then we slept all day, jeez, good thing we had a babysitter cause usually I would be the one up at 7 to be with the kids. Anyway, my day passed fast, and I was just functioning enough to eat something and then hit the sack again. What a slug I was!

Jina I think going back and forth between wanting and not wanting her is normal, begging and then being indifferent, all normal, she was the other half of your life for the past many years. Being happy when she is around, can turn into being happy when she is not around, maybe in this situation the old mantra "practice makes perfect" is true also. Besitos

T, that is crazy cool about FW movie. I saw it a few months ago and although I liked it I thought it followed too much what other movies of a similar vain do. Too predictable, ya know. But that is neat that it was filmed in your HS, makes me want to see again just cause. And that only by a few degrees of separation you "knew" her.

Okay, Maya is on her way home today, how much I missed her, but it sure was calm without her to stir up trouble,lol. I have to get out in the air today, bbl, Ash

[cardenas5usa]

Jina I am glad that today is feeling good on you. You deserve it! I totally agree about the meds, staying on track and on top of them, while you are waiting for the Prozac to reach it's proper level. If they help you get a whole nights sleep, then they will help you feel better in the day, cause everything is much better when you have slept well.

T, wowzers, 38K. But that is just the highest bid right, I bet you'll get more competative bids. But that really puts a crimp in your summer to have the pool down, bummer. Did it kill off your side yard from the chemical water or just flood it?

XOXOAsh

[Stelakate]

Lunch was good. Hey, remember we used to be here to talk about food and diet...lol. Just thinking about you two.

[cardenas5usa]

Yeah, I was thinking about that too this morning,lol, this is probably a first for you that food hasn't been center stage. I just had lunch too, about 5 slices of roast beef and turkey. For breakfast, I had low sugar yogurt and light soy milk. I'm off to go walking with the kids. Ashley

[carbjunkie]

Hi girls...I have been thinking the same thing..what happened to food n diet talk..funny.

I'll be back to write more T is hogging my desk to do her work.

T.

[cardenas5usa]

We're back, got lots of walking in at two different parks and the kids got to play too. Found two caches, traded out some toys for others and picked up a coin that has traveled all the way from a Pennsylvania geocaching club. They want it to travel to little known river spots, hence I got it along a shute of the Tualatin river. Think I'll take it to my mom's house in a few weeks and drop it off in a cache that is located on a new path by the Rogue River....or, I may make a totally new cache and stash it in my first "owned" cache. Well my slices of meat did well, but I am hungry now!! Think I'll make myself a small salad with light dressing. I have had this "frog" in my throat feeling off and on for the past couple of days, like right where you have that "v" where your chest meets your neck. It makes me feel full most of the time, which I guess is a good thing, right?! LOL.

I so can't wait for Maya to get here. Talking with her on the phone is so weird, she sounds so small compared to when I am talking to her in person. Soon soon! BBL, Ashley

[Stelakate]

Evening. Had a nice day, didnt fret too much. Kate was to go to her counseling appt. Called me from there, sitting in her car, worst stomach ache ever, like the one that took her to the hospital a few weeks ago....she left w/o seeing the therapist. Drove to my work, I gave her money and a goody bag, medicine...etc. She text's me 20 min. later. Thanks a lot I appreciate it, but the thing is, she didn't have money for text messaging so she went and got new text's with the money I gave her. Really sick, right? I was so upset, but I deserve it. I said you should have asked your for money if you wanted text's and you bowed out of that appt too??? DOES THIS MEAN NOTHING TO YOU? I was livid. She was sorry, as usual but it's just not sorry enough anymore. I am so over it. Never bothered me the rest of the day or night. Went hot tubbing w/ Jena, it was nice....just relaxed....looking forward to another decent night of sleep.

I feel myself getting a bit stronger, just in being home alone it's getting better. I really do look forward to change for myself. What a fool, right?
Too good to her for too long. Just so stupid.

Ash, sounds like you are really digging (literally, wink) this new thing. Sounds so fun!
T, I worry about you and how you're doing. You ok?
Pics from Sat. night.
Me and Jena, oh, and Jose Quervo. Emiley (Jena's daughter) Me and Tami, Erin, Lisa, Breanne, Me , Rebecca and Toni.
Lotsa shotsa.
My cookie, she was eating a nutter butter and fell asleep. Love, LOVE, LOVE!
Ash, meant to say, how much fun did you have out dancing????? You needed to get out and do that. Love hearing you take time for you and E.

[cardenas5usa]

Evening girls. Today is my 9th anniversary and E surprised me by whisking us away in the morning for some time out, and now we just got back and he has also arranged a night out for dinner and movies! I am blown away, since he is forever the last minute type of person when it comes to special events. Hope you girls are having a good day!! I will fill you in more when I get back. Love love, Ash

[carbjunkie]

Soooo happy for you Ashley...you have a great time with your hubby!

Lots of Love to ya!

Teresa

[cardenas5usa]

Morning my wonderful friends!! Yesterday was glorious! We went out and had fun in the morning with a few friends that were celebrating with us, then it was on to lunch with my mom and the kids. Then E cooked he and I dinner at La Provence, mussels a la creme with smoked salmon, and then Escolar with tomato and caper relish, with julienne veggies. We shared a small dessert that afforded us both about 3 bites. Then we went to the movies and saw Live Free of Die Hard. It was really a good movie, more of a guy movie than I like to admit but it was hella funny! Like I said, all of this was absolute bliss since E is/was a kind of backseat guy to doing things up fancy. Well, after 9 years he better get better at it,lol.

Jina, it looks like you are filling your time well when possible, with your friends and family and having a ball. You look great in that pink shirt, pink (and cuervo) is a wonderful color on you! Awwww and sleepin Stela, still hanging on to her cookie, so sweet! If you need a hobby to fill more of your at home time, I would whole heartedly suggest geocaching. You could do it with Estela easy, there are tons of urban caches easily found with a stroller in tow. I bet if you look your house up on geocaching.com you find at least 8 in your immediate area. It could give you a chance to exercise without thinking about it, and not be focused on K either, but on the hunt, and enjoying the outdoors. It is kind of addicting, though. LOL

T, you have been quiet lately, how is it going? Do you talk with J everyday since she left? Do you guys have anymore family trips or bashes planned for the summer? You too should tell the kids about geocaching, I bet they would be enthusiastic about it, the prospect of finding treasures or money is always a big draw, it would be great fun for you and the kids. Hope all is well down your way.

Okay, I need to get to curves, I'll be back later, Love Ash

[Stelakate]

Yesterday was very busy, in 100+ temps Bre and I cleaned the garage, basement out, carried out furniture by ourselves, emptied the computer room and organized my room and then packed most of Stela's stuff up. She and I will share a room and there is no need for 7 boxes of toys etc clogging things up. Simplify.
I made a date w/ Dr. s to go to a drug rep dinner, so I did that. I didn't want to and he was almost an hour late (BUGG) so I stood w/ all these high dollar types and Doctors in a very, very fancy restaurant...I felt like Julia Roberts, "which fork do I use" kinda outta place. Hated every minute of it. Something about cardiology intervention using some special medicines, I don't know...hated it.
Went home, Kate was there w/ Stela. We talked for an hour or so, she knows her family is where her heart is but she has to take this time to be on her own. She still hangs out w/ leigh but nothing goes on, and if it does I don't know at this point why she'd lie to me....it's just like she has no one else that knows her being this way and likes it so she hangs w/ the few that do.
A cop out, not dealing w/ the damage. Whatever.
As for me, I let it go too far last night. I know better and I really shouldn't of but I wanted to be with her probably for some sick and twisted I still got it type of thing.
Today I am somber again. Saw her this morning and wont see her til tomorrow. She has plans this weekend, will be out, I have them as well....cant bare to think of running into her at any point. YIKES.
It's so up and down. I am so tired of riding these waves.

Ash, I am so happy you found a new fun and exciting way to get your family involved. I will look into that. Awesome. E is a good guy, you two are adorable and lucky to have one another.
T, I too am worried about you and we do need to actually talk in real life.
I love you two. Thanks for always listening to me. I know it get's very old.

[carbjunkie]

Ash can you please push some of that exercise energy this way? I just feel like I haven't "really" exercised since April. I guess I'm just tired of talking about it.

Jina I'm always here to listen and it doesn't get old..it's just the process that you have to go through..you will however look back and be mad at yourself for "giving in" but I know it's hard. You should try to stand your ground...stay consistent. Please feel comfortable to talk.

I'm over myself right now.

Hope you girls have a good day.

T.

[cardenas5usa]

Push push push..lol! I sure wish I could just fly a big circle and scoop you two up and bring you here. I would take you two to eat lunch, a healthy one, wink, and then we could go hang at the lake, do a tour of some of the hot spots, get in some walking. Soon, I know it!

Well I just got back from Curves, all is good, got an extra lap in, so that is awesome. I am going to kill some time with the kids today and do some more walking, Maya is dying to do more caching, we'll see, then I am going to try this new recipe, noodles made from zucchini, and ham. Kind of a "pasta"/salad.

Jina, it never gets old, just better, keep talking. Yeah, about letting go too far, you're only human, you have needs too, you can look at it like you got used, but I would look at it like you used her, two can play the game. Just don't let it mess with your head and dull the progress that you have made already.

T, you will get back in the swing of things soon, remember, your taking a break, and to take a break you have to feel like it is a break, not a guilt trip. So mark it on your calendar, this is break time, but make a date, a week a month, whatever, when you will start back up.

Having a great day here, much love and hugs to you both, talk tonight, Ash XOXO

[carbjunkie]

Ashley dear,

Great words coming from a 20 something!

Love ya!

[Stelakate]

I will start with my usual rant and get it out of the way, after this one I hope to say there wont be anything eventful to share where Kate and I are concerned. Today is her Mom's bday. It just sent me over the edge when she said that yesterday they were having a family dinner. Family. Remember this part of your FAMILY? She is keeping Stela as I am keeping her tomorrow night so Kate and I don't run into each other out. I called her after I thought more about that situation and just bawled her out. I will never forgive the way she is treating me and what she has done. The only thing I can do is be done, so I vowed to just set her free as she wished.
Never talked to her again, no text at my 3 am panic attack, I actually went right back to sleep and didn't have a problem. This morning I passed her quickly without saying anything and that is that. Keeping it going. Keeping it going....
Last night I tore down the pool, cleaned it out and packed it away, cleaned the yard and MOWED my lawn. That is the first time I have ever done that! I was proud, and HOTTTT. I was soaking wet by the time I was done.
I can do this for myself. I don't need anyone helping me do the things we should all do everyday.
Well the weekend is busy. I need to shove off and get some work done. I am meeting new people tonight, very weird for me. Tomorrow there is a blues band and party in a park I was invited to w/ Stela. I might do that....Sunday I talked to a patient/friend and she talked me into going to her church. NOW before you both stroke out, it's a really laid back gay/bi/trans/everyone welcome place that isnt all "god-y". What do I have to lose?

I weighed: 215.
How are you two?

[cardenas5usa]

Morning girls! I am out to our new IKEA, my weight, whoa, 163, the bread from the anni dinner and then some noodles last night got me. No big though. I'll be back in the afternoon. Love, Ash

[carbjunkie]

215..Jina..just shrinking away..you'll be outta the twos before we know it! The best thing for you right now is to stay away from her..too much grief and she is totally taking advantage of you right now. You must be so sad realizing your relationship may be over for good..so sorry G. Going out with new people will help keep you balanced..and thinking what is best for you.

Ash no worries for you..a little extra exercise will put you back under. I like Ikea but they used to be sooo much better back in the 90's.

I didn't weigh today..big surprise huh? I'm not gonna beat myself up..I'm too good at it.

I hope you girls have a great day!

Love,
T.

[cardenas5usa]

Hi girls, we are having a lazy Saturday. We are just getting dressed for the day, and I thought I would hop on in here before enyone else took over the computer. Yesteray we spent the whole day at Ikea, I have been waiting a year and a half for the Ikea to be built and finally. It was so much fun, we had breakfast there and let the kids play in the play area. I bought Luke a swing chair for his room and we got rid of the recliner that was in his room, and moved it along to Fofo's new apt.

Today we are going to go to Joannes fabric and look at some fabric and patterns, and then the park is going to have kids movies at 9 tonight. Can't wait!

So how are you two doing today? I hope well!?!

Love Ash

[cardenas5usa]

Jina, I think it is great that you are reaching out to new people and friends. With life all topsy turvey, might as well add some new friends with a fresh start. Church, why not? Just another oppertunity to find some additional support.

After we got home from Ikea yesterday I took Maya and Luke to the park to hear an open air concert, mixed blues and rock, by the time we made it home from there, we were all draggin ass,lol.

I'll check in with you later girls, Ash

[cardenas5usa]

Just checking back, we are done at the fabric store and of course had to eat out, man I hate it when the kids are so harpy about food, anyway, I got two different fabrics to try making some aprons. Now we are going to go pick blackberries for awhile. see ya soon, Ash

[cardenas5usa]

Night night girls! See you in the AM. Mwah, Ash

[carbjunkie]

Good morning girls. Sorry I didn't post yesterday but I didn't have anything nice to say

R left this morning at 5am for a business trip to Chicago and he'll be back Monday evening.

Jina where r ya? I see our little Ash has been a diligent poster

I'll be back to look in on you two.